A/N: This will be a bit of a chapter dump as I realised I had been posting on AO3 and not on here...

This story is quickly becoming one of my favourites to write and is not yet fully completed so I cannot promise a return to my usual weekly posting, but will post when and where I can when I am satisfied with a chapter 3

Now for any and all negative nancies in the side lines thinking: "people don't just wake up completely deaf" Yes, yes they do. I did a fair amount of medical research for this fic in and around conditions that can cause sudden onset deafness in one or both ears and yes, although losing hearing in both at the same time and to the extent of what Katsuki experiences is rare, it is not impossible. There will be more details on such medical conditions inside the fic.

I will say though that although I researched the medical side of things, I did not research sign language at all because it can vary so much from country to country so I do apologize for the lack of realism when it comes to the characters using sign language throughout the fic and please let it be known that as this fic is in Katsuki's POV, the sign language conversations have been smoothed out in a manner where Katsuki would have automatically filled in the blanks if any for a smoother reading experience.

I hope you all enjoy :)

When Katsuki woke his first thought that was it was bright. The sun was up and it shouldn't have been. He reached for his phone, still plugged in and charging on his bed side table to see that it was hours past his alarm. It wasn't so much that he had somewhere to be before sunrise but he was a creature of habit and he rolled his eyes and threw his phone across the bed with annoyance that he had slept through his alarm and wasted his prime exercise time. Before sunrise was the best time to go for a run or to visit the twenty-four hour gym because there were so few people around or, better yet, none.

Katsuki kicked off the blankets and moved to stand when he paused for a moment. His head felt heavy like he had taken a beating the night before and was still recovering. It reminded him of the feeling of the threat of an oncoming headache. He mentally noted to himself to have some painkillers shortly and moved to shower. It wasn't till he was in the bathroom that he started to notice anything was off.

He turned the handle to turn on the shower to reach temperature while he used the toilet quickly but it only took him one step from the shower to pause.

He had turned on the shower hadn't he?

Or was he so tired and out of it – not that he felt that way – that he had missed the tap completely?

Katsuki turned back around to see the water running, yet there was no sound. He reached forward to feel the water across his hand just to ensure to himself that it was real. He stepped back, a hint of panic touching his mind. He turned to the toilet, lifted the seat and flushed it, watching the water swirl and be sucked down. But there was no sound to it. That hint of panic began to flare up as he moved to the mirror, turning his head from side to side to see his ears under his short, naturally spiked hair. No blood, no marks, nothing. His ears looked normal, perfectly fine. He raised both of his hands to cover his ears but even that lacked the usual muffled sound. He braced his hands on the surface on either side of the basin and leaned in close to the mirror. Katsuki opened his mouth to speak, watching the way his lips moved carefully with trained red eyes but no sound came out, or more so, he didn't hear it. He tried again raising his voice till he was yelling at the mirror but only silence surrounded him despite the vibrations he could feel coming from his own throat. Wide red eyes searched his reflection as panic gripped his heart.

Last night he had heard everything, every sound and voice around him just like any other day.

But today, this morning, he woke up deaf.

Katsuki had some luck on his side that he wasn't working today but that was his only blessing. He had slept through his alarm because he hadn't heard it go off and thankfully no one had been expecting him anywhere and therefore his phone wasn't flooded with missed calls and texts and he didn't have to worry about someone rocking up at his door demanding to know why he hadn't shown up somewhere. Not that he would have heard anyone at the door even if someone had come.

So he had gotten himself to the hospital with as little fuss as possible. He had done his best to calm himself after lashing out and smashing his bathroom mirror with his fist. He had taped the few cuts across his knuckles, changed and hailed a cab with a simple raised hand once outside.

It was disorientating being outside, knowing that he was surrounded by life, movement and noise and not hearing any of it. It was uncomfortable. Luckily he could hail a cab easily enough and spoke the word hospital and off they went. At least he still had a voice but even that felt somewhat disturbing to use. To speak and not hear yourself do it was unsettling and felt wrong but the driver had understood the request after giving him a second glance in the mirror, no doubt surprised to see Dynamight of all people sitting in the back seat of his cab. Katsuki was doing his best to keep his demeanor calm and he must have succeeded to a degree because the cab driver seemed calm enough themselves.

Upon arriving at the hospital Katsuki walked himself in and to the nearest counter where he realized his biggest problem when the nurse behind the screen lifted her head to look to him expectantly. When Katsuki didn't move to speak, his mind racing over his blunder, the nurse smiled to him and opened her mouth to speak. Her lips moved in silence and Katsuki could only stare back helplessly. He hadn't thought this through like an idiot. He should have called – no – texted someone to come with him. He could have explained it over text and then he would have someone to communicate for him.

Katsuki opened his mouth to speak, only thinking of relaying to the waiting nurse what his problem was. He felt the words leaving his tongue soundlessly but the nurse before him looked startled, raising a hand to him before lowering it again.

Shit. He had no clue as to how loud he was being. He wasn't actively yelling but still…

Katsuki shut his mouth, clamping his jaw down behind sealed lips but the nurse understood and called over her shoulder to someone else who came forward, looking Katsuki up and down with wide eyes, said something else to the first nurse who nodded and then handed him a numbered ticket. Katsuki glared down at the numbered slip before looking back to the nurse who was pointing a finger behind him to a sitting area. Begrudgingly Katsuki stepped away and sank down in a plastic seat against a far wall, away from everyone else in the space. Several eyes turned his way. He could see their mixed expressions and see their lips moving as they whispered to one another.

He couldn't blame them. He was a well known up and coming pro hero after all. He had signed up with a strong agency right out of high school and he had only gone up and up from there. Popular may not have been the best word to describe him, but strong and capable for sure. He was good at his job. He saved civilians when they were too dumb or slow to get out of danger themselves, he took down villains with ease. He was well on his way to becoming the best in the agency and not long after that, the country.

But today those sideway glances and moving mouths only made Katsuki scowl. He hated it. Knowing that he was being spoken about but not hearing the words. Seeing a pro hero in the hospital after a severe struggle was one thing, but seeing one come in themselves outside of work was probably unsettling and would raise many questions. Even more annoying was the fact that Katsuki was stuck waiting in the consultation area and not somewhere else where he could pass himself off as only being there to visit someone else – an unlikely thing for pro hero Dynamight to do – but better than his current position.

Katsuki glanced down to his given number again and then looked up at the screen on the far wall. He was in for a bit of a wait. He closed his eyes for a moment with what felt like his usual grumble in his throat before pulling out his phone to text someone. He hated to admit it but he needed help with this and Katsuki could count on one hand the amount of people he trusted to help him, even less with a situation such as this because he didn't want to admit it to anyone. He didn't want to tell anyone that he was waiting in a hospital to get his ears checked. He didn't want to tell anyone that he had woken up deaf. He didn't want to see their pity and concern riddled eyes looking to him. He didn't want to think about the implications on his life because of this.

He didn't want to accept it as what it was and preferred the hope that it was just a bad dream.

So he told himself the opposite otherwise he would spiral.

This was temporary.

He just hit his head too hard while sparring.

It would pass.

It would clear.

Everything would go back to normal.

Katsuki had sat there glaring at the far wall with enough intensity that everyone who had been in his line of sight had felt the burn in the back of their heads and shifted away. He hadn't even realised he had been doing it, too busy wrestling with his own mind to fend off any encroaching fears when a hand touched his shoulder and he tensed, turning his head swiftly to see his mother smiling uncertainly down to him. She moved to sit down beside him.

He kept his eyes glued to her and she tilted her head in question. He had texted her, asking her to come meet him here and it was a rare event for the pair of them. No doubt Mitsuki had been both thrilled to be called upon by her son for help – something he never asked for – and also greatly concerned. Katsuki handed her the numbered slip which she glanced at before looking to the wall. It was little use to Katsuki now. He wouldn't hear the chime or announcement of the number so unless he kept his eyes glued on the little box high up on the opposite wall, he wouldn't have a clue he was being called upon. With his mother beside him he could finally lower his head to stare into his own lap and relax his shoulders a fraction. Regardless of his sometimes prickly relationship with his mother, there was no one better he could call upon and ask to make decisions for him when it came to his health. His mother had wanted only the best for him his whole life, even with her own tough love style.

Katsuki's text had been brief, explaining only the necessities such as where he was, the need for her help and that he couldn't hear a thing so he was thankful that his mother simply settled in to sit beside him and wait, not trying to communicate with him in anyway. After a minute she even reached for her handbag and withdrew a novel she was half way through to read. The normalcy of it calmed Katsuki as he leaned back in his plastic seat and let his eyes close. He didn't want to see the room surrounding him and the people within it. He didn't want to think so he decided sleep would be easiest because they had no idea what sort of wait they would be in for inside the busy city hospital when their case was not an emergency.

But sleep didn't come for Katsuki though he kept his eyes closed, feeling the frustration at his own body betraying him festering inside and distracting himself by focusing on his breathing to keep himself calm.

He counted his breaths.

In for seven seconds.

Hold for seven seconds.

Our for seven seconds.

Repeat.

It wasn't till he felt the nudge of his mother's shoulder into his own that he opened his eyes again to look to her. She raised the numbered slip to indicate their number had been called and rose from her seat. Katsuki followed her across the space to where a nurse was waiting before a door and motioned for them to follow her in.

Inside there was a desk to one side where a doctor sat with a couple of chairs opposite, a bed against the wall, scales, draws with medical tools and the all too familiar smell of disinfectant, the scent far stronger inside the closed room than it had been in the more open waiting room. Being a hero meant at least a handful of hospital visits each year due to injuries and check-ups. Though Katsuki was better than some heroes he knew who were in and out of hospitals far more than he was. He'd thought that after it all, he'd get used to the smell by now, but it always assaulted his nose every time. Katsuki followed his mother's lead and they each took a seat opposite the desk. The nurse remained standing by the bed.

The doctor spoke to them both but it was Mitsuki who replied. The doctor's eyes flashed to Katsuki before returning to his mother as she explained the situation as best as she could. They spoke for a while but he didn't see how there was so much to say. He had woken up deaf and needed his ears checked. That was all there was to it.

The doctor turned her attention to the computer before her, typed into it and then studied the screen before exchanging more words with Mitsuki. Her eyes looked to Katsuki again, narrowed with thought over thin glasses before she went back to speaking to Katsuki's mother and if it weren't for Katsuki's burning want to know what was being said he would have lowered his head to look away rather than trying to understand the sounds their mouths were making just by the way they moved.

Finally the doctor rose to their feet and Mitsuki followed, gesturing for Katsuki to do the same before pointing to the bed. Katsuki moved to sit himself on the edge while the doctor took their time looking into each ear with various tools. She checked Katsuki's temperature, shined a torch in his eyes to check for reactivity and checked his blood pressure before she stepped away and exchanged some further words with Mitsuki. He watched as she frowned hard in response to the doctor's words. She spoke up, firmly from what Katsuki could tell. More words were exchanged, his mother's mood only getting worse as they went on until Katsuki chose to look away.

He didn't look back till he felt a hand on his knee and he turned his face to see his mother smiling to him gently. That was all Katsuki needed to know that things weren't looking good and they left.

Katsuki followed his mother aimlessly as she walked them the short distance to a nearby café where they sat at a table opposite one another, far from anyone else and Mitsuki ordered them both a drink with a friendly smile to the waitress. Katsuki looked out the window instead. He knew something was wrong and it only made his insides twist with anxiety waiting to be told. From the corner of his eye he could see his mother turn back his way, her smile dropping as she pulled out her phone.

She reached out to touch Katsuki's arm to bring his attention back to her and she slid her phone between them, the screen lit up in waiting. His mother's mouth moved and his gaze lifted to her only for her to point a finger back down to the phone where text was starting to appear across the screen.

I figured this would be the easiest way for now.

The words came up across the screen as she continued to speak.

I'm not going to sugar coat it honey what the doctor said isn't good and she's referred us to a specialist for further tests but for now it doesn't look like your hearing will come back without help.

Katsuki's breath hitched, he grit his teeth and glanced away to cover it as the waitress returned, dropping a caffeinated drink before each of them. Mitsuki waited for her to leave with a polite nod before tapping her finger beside the phone where Katsuki could still see to bring his attention back.

I'll call your work and let them know you'll need some time off on personal leave for now if you prefer I'll tell them it's a family matter until we get tests done and then we can work from there okay.

The phone hadn't understood the question at the end but Katsuki nodded with a frown. It wasn't like he had much of a choice at the moment. Without his hearing he couldn't call them himself, a text was low even for him and if he walked in to discuss his leave in person they would know right away something was wrong with him. He didn't want to appear weak or damaged in front of anyone. He was supposed to be a strong pro hero. His mother was one thing. She had seen him at some of his lowest points in life, but everyone else he couldn't stand the thought of them looking at him with pity.

I'll call and book the appointment.

His mother went on.

For now sweetie if you want you can come home for a bit while we sort all this out.

Katsuki shook his head.

Alright honey.

Her hand reached for Katsuki's wrist, giving it a squeeze of reassurance and despite the shitty news he felt a little warmed knowing that he had his parents support. Not that he would ever say that to them, but his mother seemed to understand simply from the lack of Katsuki pulling his arm away and she smiled at that.

They parted ways after leaving the café and Katsuki went to make for his apartment but instead found himself detouring. He felt oddly numb, not just from the silence surrounding him but from the weight of it all. All his life he had wanted to be a hero, he had never even contemplated aiming for anything else or believing that failure was an option and he had made that dream come true. But now, his own body had betrayed him, threatening to take his life's hard work away from him overnight. Without his hearing he couldn't be a hero. He couldn't hear someone shouting a warning or a cry of someone needing saving. He couldn't communicate with a team.

He clenched his jaw, tightened his hands into fists and kept his head down as he trudged through the streets aimlessly until he came across somewhere he recognized. A park not far from his apartment. Outside of jogging around it in the darkness before dawn, Katsuki had paid the place little attention and after walking for so long – having lost track of time – and with it being early summer, the shade of the trees looked inviting. It was a weekday so there was little foot traffic in the area and Katsuki felt no desire to coop himself up at home when he was feeling as shitty as he was. So instead, he laid down on the fresh grass under the shade of a large tree and pulled out his phone. He began browsing his social media apps to keep his mind occupied but when that grew boring he ended up searching online for others who had woken up deaf.

Turned out it was a thing. There were various things that could cause it.

Head and ear trauma for one. Katsuki had that. During his hero career, all the way back from his days in U.A he had received plenty of blows to his head, even woken up in hospital with a concussion once. Doctors had brought to his attention their concern over his hearing due to his quirk over the years and he had done his best to keep their concerns at bay. Usually he wouldn't have bothered listening to them but considering his health directly influenced his ability to be a hero, he paid close attention to it just as he did with his diet and exercise routines. He had worn earplugs that would muffle his explosions when on the job to lessen any risk to himself and when training solo with his quirk he would wear a whole ass protective head gear over his ears. They made him look like a construction worker but they reduced any damage to his ears he may incur from such harsh training.

Tinnitus was mentioned throughout many articles and studies he read through and that he had too. Not all the time, but it would come in waves and he would go through hours or days even of the ringing in his ears becoming a constant background noise to his life, though it hadn't worsened since he had become pro and been taking precautions to protect his hearing. He also visited his usual otolaryngologist every six months for routine check-ups and there had been nothing wrong there.

Other underlying disorders and issues were brought to his attention too such as something called Meniere's disease and even possible tumours.

He put down his phone after that. He didn't want to keep looking into it yet and start to make himself think the worst, not until he had gotten tests done to figure out exactly what the issue was. There was no point getting himself worked up over things that were unlikely.

So Katsuki shoved his phone back in his pocket, folded his arms behind his head and closed his eyes. The grass was cool but not damp, the day was warm but the breeze was nice and cool. If there were people around him going about their business he had no clue of it and as unsettling as that was, when he closed his eyes he could imagine he was alone and far away from everyone else. Far away from his problems. He wasn't deaf, he was just alone in a quiet place like the mountains. He liked the mountains and depending how high you got above it all, sometimes it was silent, almost. When climbing there was always still the wind. Though the wind didn't always make a noise, sometimes there would still be the whistle as it passed. Now there was nothing, like being underwater minus the heavy feeling of being weighed down or the freeing feeling of floating and minus all the other little clicks of noises you could hear when under water sometimes. But those were the closest things to him that it felt now. To be alone in his own silence.

Katsuki hadn't realised he had dozed off until he opened his eyes to see the pink sky peeking through the shifting leaves above his head. He could see the leaves moving in the breeze but not hear any of it or the surrounding city noises. There was a slight nudge against his foot again – having been what woken him in the first place – and he sat up to see none other than Deku crouched by his feet. Katsuki's relaxed expression instantly turned into a pointed glare as the green haired idiot smiled back at him like it was the most natural thing in the world, which Katsuki supposed at this point it was for Deku, but why here and why now?

Oh, of course.

Their mums.

Katsuki's mother may have said what was going on was a family matter to his work place, who Katsuki was yet to hear from – poor choice of words – but that didn't mean Mitsuki wouldn't have turned to Inko about it. Their mothers were close, always had been since they were children. They may have grown a little distant during their middle school years when Katsuki's bullying had been at its worst and he hadn't even stopped to think at the time what kind of pressure that put on either of their parents social lives, but since his and Deku's friendship had grown again in high school, so had their parents. In fact, Katsuki wouldn't call him and Deku close by any extent these days but their parents hadn't let their kids be a restriction on them anymore and had ploughed through all of their awkward years into a strong friendship. Katsuki would easily put the best friend title on their mothers while he and Deku were merely acquaintances. More than once Katsuki had come home for a family occasion only to find Deku there of all people, sitting at the table with his family because Mitsuki practically deemed Inko family at this point and by extension that meant Deku.

He and Deku on the other hand had been closer back in high school than they were now. Back then Katsuki had been the only one to know Deku and All Might's secret and therefore when Deku discovered new powers awakening inside him it had been Katsuki who had trained with him to work through it until the nerd had mastered them. Over those high school years they had grown closer, studying together, training together, interning together and even eating together, but since then they had gone their separate ways. Since becoming pros, they had gone to different agencies in different cities. It was only recently that Deku had moved back closer to home, settling into the same city as Katsuki and even ending up at the same agency as Katsuki – not that that was the nerd's fault. His agency had approached Deku after all – after the pro hero in charge of the agency Deku worked at past away after not surviving a battle with a villain. It had been unfortunate and as Katsuki recalled hearing through the grapevine that consisted of just their mothers, Deku had taken that pretty badly and actually taken a few weeks off of working before deciding to move back closer to home and starting anew.

Despite working at the same agency, they rarely saw each other and it was even rarer that they worked together since they both worked different shifts, Katsuki working the day shift while Deku worked nights. There would be the occasional change of shifts where Katsuki may glimpse Deku around the office or more likely than not, when he did see the nerd it was because he was working overtime catching up on paperwork, but after almost the year Deku had been there, Katsuki had worked alongside him only once and glimpsed him at the same social event only once too. They rarely ever got the chance to speak and it wasn't as though Katsuki had tried to reach out to him, to try to return their friendship back to what it was in high school. In his defence, it wasn't like Deku had reached out to him either which was even stranger considering how much he used to pester him. The nerd had come back and even worked with him and not once tried to chase Katsuki down or text him to try to catch up for a meal or to spar or to ask to work shifts together. In high school Deku would have been annoyingly too eager for all those things. Now, there was nothing.

As Katsuki continued to glare at Deku, figuring that he had heard from Inko what was going on, Deku continued to smile back, not making any effort to talk or communicate, which only confirmed Katsuki's suspicion, and instead lifted a little plastic bag he was holding towards Katsuki. Katsuki leaned forward, shifting to cross his legs to sit on the grass as he snatched the bag and opened it to look inside. He reached in, pulling out an ice cream, the sort he used to have as a child that you could split and share. He narrowed his eyes to Izuku who only nodded slightly, before he opened it and stuck it between his teeth. The air was still warm and the breeze had died away so the frozen treat was welcome. Deku wisely didn't move closer and instead mimicked Katsuki's position by shifting to cross his legs and sat opposite him, turning his head to look away into the happenings of the park as the day came to an end.

Katsuki felt irritated that his mother had told Inko and even more irritated that Inko had called Deku over it and even more irritated that Deku had then gone out of his way to find Katsuki and to what? Offer him an ice cream and tell him everything was going to be okay? What Bullshit and Katsuki took it out on the ice cream, biting down into it until it was gone less than a minute later. He grimaced against the brain freeze, channelling all of it into strengthening the glare he pointed towards Deku who still wasn't looking his way.

With both popsicles sticks pinned between his teeth, Katsuki opened his mouth to ask – hoping his volume wasn't too loud – if Deku was only here because he had heard from his mum. Deku's green eyes turned back to Katsuki, his smile was gone and he simply nodded his head in response. Katsuki clicked his tongue against the back of his teeth and moved the sticks around in his mouth before clamping down on them again, enjoying the feeling of his teeth sinking into the thin pieces of wood. Deku looked thoughtfully to the leaves above for a moment before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a pen and notepad. Of course the nerd kept such things on him, he never knew when he would have the chance to see a hero battle in action – and not doubt dive in himself – and get the chance to take down notes. Katsuki rolled his eyes at the sight as Deku scribbled onto the notepad. Once a nerd always a nerd. Done, Deku turned the notepad Katsuki's way at arm's length, close enough for Katsuki to read the scribbled text.

I was worried so I thought I'd come see you.

Katsuki narrowed his eyes again and spat back that the nerd didn't need to worry about him around the popsicle sticks in his mouth. Deku twisted his lips, looking a little wounded before withdrawing his notepad to scribble more. Katsuki huffed dramatically with another eye roll and slouched forward, resting an elbow on his knee and his chin in his hand as he waited for the nerd to finish writing.

I know we aren't too close these days but I still wanted to see how you were going.
You're still my friend so I was worried about you.
Are you alright?

Katsuki just stared back through a glare. Friends? They were barely acquaintances now. They never saw each other unless their parents dragged them together so how were they still friends? Friends were supposed to hang out, to talk, text, eat meals together, go out together and in the line of hero work, spar together even. Katsuki didn't get much free time to visit his old school friends but he and Kirishima still met once a fortnight to spar and get dinner and occasionally if ever their schedules lined up, the old gang would catch up somewhere whether it be a bar or one of their own apartments to hang out. He may not see them much outside of Kirishima, but they still texted. Katsuki still received annoying memes from Kaminari and Sero and the occasional gossip thread from Ashido. But he and Deku had none of that. Hell, even Icy-Hot sent him a meme out of the blue months ago. Katsuki hadn't replied but that wasn't the point.

When Deku kept blinking his way, Katsuki simply turned his head to look elsewhere, signalling that he wasn't going to talk to Deku about it. From the corner of his eye he could see Deku downcast his eyes, bring back his notepad to write something else on it before placing it on the ground between them and getting up to leave. Katsuki turned his head back to watch him go. He had been in civilian clothes and probably had to get to work anyway. He huffed a good-ridden to himself before his gaze dropped to the notepad on the grass. He picked it up to read, the pen left beside it..

I'm sorry about what happened.
If you ever need anything feel free to call me.
XXX-XXXX-XXXX here's my number just in case you didn't have it anymore.

Katsuki scowled down at the little notepad in his hand before flipping it closed. It wasn't that Katsuki had ever deleted Deku's number or changed his own since going their separate ways and he pulled out his phone to double check that Deku hadn't changed his number either, just adding to the fact that there had been nothing stopping Deku texting or reaching out to him. Katsuki shoved the notepad and pen in his back pocket as he rose to his feet and made his way back to his apartment for the night. If he was grumbling aloud as he went, he had no clue and he kept his burning glare forward the whole time. If anyone looked his way as he passed, he didn't pay them any attention.

Stupid Deku.

The several days were gruelling.

An email came through from the agency that Katsuki had to digitally sign for the approval of his leave and thankfully they didn't ask for a reason. Katsuki had worked so hard that he had never really stopped to take time off before and had earnt plenty of annual leave days to store away for rainy days such as these so je could at least thank his past self for his own amazing work ethic.

Katsuki's mother had messaged him that they had an appointment with a specialist otolaryngologist the next day, but until then there was little for Katsuki to do. He tried watching TV using the closed captions function but only found himself getting irritated while he watched. He did his best to stay offline, not wanting to see his friends posting about their days work or sharing pictures of events they were attending because it only made his chest sting with annoyance that he wasn't working. So instead he cooked some meals in advance because he had the time to spare, cleaned the apartment thoroughly and then finally decided to settle for reading but found that all the books he had he had already read. After a lot of mental going back and forth with himself he finally stepped out of his apartment, figuring he could get himself a new book to read as well as some groceries on the way back. He didn't need his hearing for that he decided. No one would bother him while he browsed and when he was done the total would be shown to him, not that money was an issue anyway. Katsuki was moving up the hero charts at a decent pace and he got paid well for his work and on top of all that he had always been good at saving his money. So buying a couple of books to keep himself busy with was a well-deserved splurge he figured.

Over the last few days, he hadn't realised how big of a thing hearing loss was until all the small things were gone. The mumble of the TV in the background, the ding of the kitchen timer going off, the chiming of the crosswalk. He felt a little more on edge having lost one of his senses. He felt like he needed to keep glancing over his shoulder in case someone was chasing his attention or in case something happened and he just didn't hear it coming. Perhaps it was due to his hero work that he felt like a threat could pop up behind him at any moment. He even found himself tensing when someone passed him from behind, accidently knocking him with their shoulder and he immediately went on the offensive, stopping himself just intime before his palms started popping. A few bystanders would glance his way and he would lower his head and move on.

He found a local book store and browsed a few titles before he settled on a novel and a manga he had heard a lot about online and paid for them at the register, simply giving the tiniest of nods in thanks for the service before he tucked the paper bag under his arm and headed back for his apartment, making a short detour for groceries.

Katsuki climbed the stairs to the fifth floor of his apartment complex and started down the hallway when he felt his phone vibrating in his back pocket briefly to let him know it was a text and he pulled it from his pocket to read while he continued on his way. He didn't need to unlock his phone to see the message.

Shitty Nerd: Are you home Kacchan?

Katsuki gritted his teeth and froze. Irritation pricked at him because not only was it Deku but on top of that it was now painfully clear that the nerd had had his number all this time which only added fuel to Katsuki's annoyance towards the other man. And to add injury to insult, the nerd knew where Katsuki lived, though he didn't let that one sink in too deep. He could have gotten the address from either of their parents, – Mitsuki wouldn't hesitate if Inko or Deku had asked for it – from work or even an old classmate like Kirishima. For now though, if he simply didn't reply the nerd may show up at his door anyway so it would be best if he replied with something at least. He was trying to decide whether to lie and say he was out or simply tell the nerd to fuck off when another thought crossed his mind as he rounded a corner into the stretch of hallway his door was one and froze.

What if the nerd was already there?

Katsuki glanced up only to see the green haired, freckle faced nerd there, standing before his door looking uncertain with a red backpack on. Katsuki wanted to step back, to turn away like he was never there but Deku's green eyes had already turned his way and his face split into a wide friendly smile as he waved Katsuki's way. Katsuki took a big breath, let his shoulders slump with defeat and marched forward to his door, making a point of not looking to the nerd as he approached. He shouldered Deku out of the way while he stuck his key in the door and pushed it open with his foot. Deku stepped closer again from the side and Katsuki turned his head, baring his teeth at the nerd before stepping inside. Despite the warning, Deku followed, slipping in behind him before Katsuki could turn and close the door in his face.

Katsuki kicked off his shoes in the entryway with what felt like a groan while Deku took over shutting the door behind them and did the same. Katsuki put his bags of groceries down on the kitchen island along with his books and turned his back to Deku who stood on the opposite side of the island. Katsuki hissed back at him without looking over his shoulder, asking why the hell the nerd was here. When he turned back around – having taken his time putting things away inside the fridge – he saw Deku looking flustered and nervous before he pulled off his back pack and riffled through it, withdrawing three large, flat books, less novels and more of the informative kind of book size.

Katsuki raised an eyebrow to the nerd who simply placed the books down on the island between them and then remained standing there nervously. Katsuki eyed him off before he snatched up the books to read the titles. They were all sign language books. Katsuki snarled back to Deku, telling him that he didn't need to learn any sign language. Deku looked even more uncertain before he pulled out a notebook and pencil from his bag too and leaned against the island counter as he wrote in it hurriedly. Once he was done he turned to book Katsuki's way and slid it towards his side of the counter.

I know you haven't figured anything out yet with your hearing but I figured these could be useful in the meantime.
With your quirk, damaging your hearing has always been a risk so I thought maybe they could be useful regardless.

Katsuki only sneered down at the handwritten note like he had a bad taste in his mouth, when he made no move to say anything in response Deku pulled it back to himself, scribbled down more and then pushed it back towards Katsuki.

We could learn it together.
That would be more fun and then you'd have someone to practice with too.
It could be useful for hero work too, like if we had to be stealthy or something.

Katsuki glared from the note back up to Deku who was smiling to him hopefully, his green eyes tinged with sincerity. But Katsuki wondered what Deku meant by together.

Together? Why would Katsuki learn sign language when he was going to find out what was wrong with his ears and get them fixed anyway. He would even settle for a hearing aid rather than dealing with this shit. And so what, now that something was wrong with Katsuki, now that he was disabled in some way, Deku wanted to be buddies like old times after hardly even speaking to Katsuki for years? Fuck that.

Katsuki just about hissed as much to Deku who seemed to flinch back at the words and had the audacity to look hurt. If Katsuki was raising his voice he wasn't aware of it and Deku made no move to shush him. Deku's mouth opened and closed a few times like a gaping fish as he struggled to find any words, keeping his green eyes downcast. He reached for his notebook to write something when Katsuki slammed his palm down on the book before he could reach it, baring his teeth at the shrinking greenette. His green eyes flicked to meet Katsuki's apologetically before he picked up his backpack and turned to leave, his shoulders up high and head down low like a dog submitting. Katsuki's eyes burned after him as Deku slipped on his shoes and let himself out without looking back.

Once the door closed Katsuki breathed out shakily. His chest ached and he decided he wasn't going to think about why, lifting his palm from Deku's abandoned notebook to see a scorched handprint smothering the notes scribbled across the lined paper. It remined Katsuki of middle school and suddenly he couldn't bear to look at it anymore, turning his head away and returning to the task of putting away his groceries. He shouldn't let himself feel bad, he shouldn't feel hurt. He and Deku had never had a proper friendship. They had far too many ups and downs for that. More downs than anything else. They had never had anything stable and now they never would. There had been hope in high school but that bridge had burnt when Deku had cut contact with Katsuki after graduating. And honestly, Katsuki had hated himself the most for having hope. Hoping that they would have stayed friends, hoping that Deku would have reached out to him even before they ended up working at the same agency and now that Deku had finally decided to step back into Katsuki's life, he wasn't going to allow himself to hope. He wasn't going to play friends with Deku.

Shit, maybe the nerd didn't even want to be trying to help him, maybe their mothers had put him up to it and he was just trying to be the good son, helping a friend because it's what they wanted. It was no surprise to Katsuki that their mothers wished for him and Deku to be close again. Their parents had revelled when they saw them being friends again in high school, but still they wanted more. They wanted what Katsuki and Deku had back when they were small, back when they were kids playing heroes on the playground and having sleepovers and crying when they had to go their separate ways – or more so Deku crying anyway, but Katsuki had pitched a fit and argued about not wanting to say bye even if it was only for the night.

Katsuki wasn't putting all the blame on Deku. Katsuki was the one who fucked up their friendship in the first place, pushing Deku away in elementary and singling him out in middle school. But after all that shit was said and done Katsuki had apologized at the end of their first year at U.A and Deku had forgiven him and they had started to rebuild from there. Only it hadn't lasted and now the open wound like sting in Katsuki's chest was the only reminder that they had been anything more than just mere acquaintances.

As Katsuki cleared off the kitchen island bench because he liked things clear of clutter, he closed Deku's notebook and added it to the stack of books the nerd had brought with him and shoved them all in the bottom corner of his small book shelf, went to shower and then to bed.