Ron and Harry shuffled down the stairs next, followed by Ginny who looked like she was the only one of the four of them that had a proper sleep the night before. Hermione offered them all a small smile and continued to set the table while life regained itself in the room. Molly had been making a grand breakfast of meats, breads, and fruits for everyone to choose their liking all the while making different brews of tea for the lot. Hermione somehow always found herself amazed with the amount of work Molly was able to get done around the Burrow for the little time it seemed like she had and with all of the people that she looked after.
As breakfast was called, everyone made their way to their unassigned yet seemingly assigned seats and started to make their way through the dishes that were before them. Hermione prepared her tea and took a long sip, letting the warmth cover her insides.
"We need to tell you guys something…?" Ron stated as more of a question than a statement.
Everyone's eyes turned towards Harry and Ron who were holding hands next to one another, sharing a glance as if to say: 'you go first', 'no you go first', 'no you'.
"Well, what is it?" Arthur piped up from the end of the table
"We've decided…" Harry started, looking apprehensively at Hermione.
Why is he looking at me? It makes absolutely no sense that anything that they've planned in their relationship should influence me by the way that he's looking. Molly and Ginny gave looks that urged them to speed up their slow introduction to their announcement.
"We're adopting!" Ron exclaimed with a massive grin enveloping his face.
The air in Hermione's lungs escaped her and her eyes stayed glued to Harry, who looked straight at her.
"I think two would be the perfect amount." Hermione smiled up at Draco as they sat together, wrapped in a blanket to keep them warm as the fall air circled around them.
"Two hey?" He grinned at her.
"Ideally a boy and a girl, and I'd like the boy first because then he would be a good older brother and not the bratty younger one." Hermione chucked while she laced her fingers with his.
He kissed the top of her head and hummed in agreement, "don't you think that's playing 'god' too much? Expecting certain genders first?" He chuckled into her hair.
"You may call it that, but I think if I put it out into the universe enough times maybe it'll come true." She laughed slightly.
"hmmm," he hummed, "and what would you name them?" He whispered
She looked at him with a smile before starting, "well it would have to be a group effort – I can't just choose both of the names… but if a girl was born I like Celestine" she smiled, "it's French for…" she started
"Celestial." He finished for her,
"Yes, if we had kids I think we should keep up with the tradition of naming after constellations." She smiled wistfully.
"I wanted Scorpius." He said as a matter-of-fact.
"Scorpius…" she trailed off, looking at him, "Celestine and Scorpius…" she murmured
"It works well together." He moved his hand so it grasped the side of her jaw, tilting it so they were now facing one another.
Her eyes focused in on his lips, and then back to his grey eyes that looked almost as if they had blue in them at this moment. As if talking about their future made him come to life more than he was letting himself have the pleasure of doing recently. She placed her hand around the nape of his neck and slowly tilted her head upwards so that her nose brushed his while maintaining eye contact. He rested his forehead against hers and exhaled a long sigh.
"You're the only person I can imagine a future with." He exhaled again
Hermione gave the faintest of smiles and murmured 'me too' before kissing him lightly. Their tongues danced in a manner that could only be described as savouring the taste of one another, all the while remaining in the position they had been in this whole time. There was nothing rushed in their movements, time and space seemed to stand still and they exclusively remained in the bubble that they created for themselves.
"Hermione?" Molly said with concern laced in her voice.
Hermione jumped in her chair and shook her head. She hadn't been aware that her absence from the conversation was evident, but by the way that everyone was looking at her, she realized that they had all been waiting for her to say her congratulations.
"That's wonderful." She breathed out, looking at Harry and Ron individually instead of as a whole.
"Thank you 'mione." Ron smiled peacefully.
"Have you decided anything specific?" She asked
Harry started to talk this time, "we want a girl probably, but we're not picky. I imagine we're going to go with magical background…" Harry paused to look briefly at Ron who gave a nod, "muggle born or not doesn't matter to us, but we'd love to have the opportunity to experience sending them to Hogwarts. I want our kid to have the same friendship that us three have." He smiled
Hermione nodded at him, a faint smile on her face. "That's really great, I'm glad you two are taking this step into your relationship – it's a big one, but you two are ready for it." She finished.
Everyone agreed with her as they continued on with their breakfast – the idle chatter now turned into what they would do to prepare for a child in the burrow again, how they would decide on an age range that they liked. Ron wanted them to be right and ready to go to Hogwarts the year they adopted but Harry, unfortunately, the more logical of the two, told him that was unlikely to happen and they should set their sights on a few years younger so they could be there to experience the magic and share the moments of their first Hogwarts letter as a trusting family and not two strangers that just adopted them.
It made sense, Hermione thought, they had been together for five years, and they were practically married and living in their own place now. They had all grown up and it was the next step in anyone's relationship in the typical chronological order. But she couldn't help but be jealous of them and how happy they were about to become. She always figured they'd have kids around the same time – and they would all go to Hogwarts together, becoming best friends with one another. With their luck though, they'd be in opposite houses and there'd be healthy competition within school but they'd be best friends outside.
She couldn't fault them for their next step, but she guessed she always expected them to be last. Nonetheless, she plastered a pleasant look on her face and continued throughout breakfast with everything but any animosity in her eyes. As everyone finished up and Molly refused her help to clean up the mess, Hermione looked at the two men and gave them an enveloping hug.
"I should go back to the store, I need to stock the shelves for tomorrow." She smiled at them
"Do you want any help?" Ron and Harry asked simultaneously, looking at each other with goofy smiles etched into their features.
"No, no that's ok." She smiled, "you both know how I like things to be particular in there." She waved a hand with a chuckle.
They nodded their agreement to her statement, and she grabbed floo powder from her bag and walked into the fireplace – only to end up in her flat moments later. The smell of pine and parchment flooded her senses and she closed her eyes, letting her subconscious melt into the serenity of her home.
She quickly showered and dried her body and hair off, putting on a fresh outfit before running out the door and down the street to her store. She was thankful for the one day a week she granted herself reprieve from the customers and the tasks included in operating a business. It was days like today where she would walk into the store, lock the door, and spend hours of cataloguing what she needed on the shelves and replenishing the looks of the store. It would just be her and her thoughts, something she had been experiencing too much of as of late but it made sense that she continued with the trend for the remainder of the day.
As she entered the store, discarded her outer layers, and prepared a cup of coffee she set off to work. The back stationary and home sections were the most in need of attention from all of the various presents being bought. She re-stocked the charmable candles, never dimming reading lights, and the pillows and blankets that smell like whatever is considered 'home'. She only took brief breaks to sip on the coffee she made and to change sections to separate her focus.
Once the place was sufficiently stocked for the next day she walked to the front, cast a cleaning charm on her cup and placed it back where it belonged beside the machine. Her next course of action was to re-bundle herself up and make her way back home. She left the store and locked it up again, what was mid-morning when she arrived was now at the stages of dusk. The air had subsequently chilled off more as night approached and her pace home increased to get the blood flowing to keep her warm. She nodded her greetings to her neighbours and wished them a good night before rounding the corner to her building only to find the view of Theo Nott staring at her again.
"Theo?" She questioned in surprise.
"I asked Potter where you lived." He explained
"Oh…" she didn't seem convinced, but they had corresponded via letter for so long, he was bound to show up and visit.
"Come in?" She suggested.
He nodded and let her go aside as she guided him up to her flat. As she opened the door she gestured that he could place his jacket on the chair at the table. She took two wine glasses out from the cabinet and placed them on the counter before grabbing a bottle of Malbec from her wine cabinet. She took the cork out with ease and started to fill the glasses before leaving half of the bottle on the counter and walking the two over to where Theo stood beside the table.
"Please, sit." She motioned while she set down the glasses for him.
He nodded and sat down, adjusting the way his clothes hung to his body while he got comfortable on the chair. She slid down to the chair across from him and smiled, raising her glass waiting for him to touch his to hers.
"To what do I owe the pleasure of you coming around for the first time in six years." She smiled and took a sip.
"Well, I saw you at the store the other day and I figured we had a lot to catch up on." He responded taking a sip, humming his approval to the wine.
"Catch up on what?" She looked at him perplexed.
"It's been six years since I last physically saw you, Granger. I know we correspond via letters but there's only so much they can get across. How have you been?" He smiled a smile that reached the blue of his eyes.
She laughed, "that's a loaded question, Theo." Taking a sip of her wine she continued, "I'm fine, I've been worse and I've been better." She finished.
"You looked shocked to see me yesterday." He said as a matter of fact.
"Yes I was." She looked at him with a blank stare.
"I guess that's fair…" he trailed off.
"Theo?" She caught his attention as he glanced around her flat.
"Yes?" His blue eyes found her.
"You just offered and gave me a sum of money I didn't anticipate ever accepting for a book that meant the world to me. You and I have kept correspondence for the last six years on and off for trivial things like making sure I'm doing okay. I promised you every single time that I have been okay. Now you show up at my doorstep wanting to catch up? Excuse me if I'm a bit confused as to whether or not you're being sincere. I love you Theo, you're like the brother I never had and that includes my two idiot friends… friends that suddenly think they're capable of having a child together. Which I guess they are, because while I was stuck in the ghost of the past holding onto someone who I loved so deeply that I made our dream become a reality – they grew up and made memories while I honoured him." She let out with a sigh, "I know he meant the world to you too Theo, but he's been gone for eight years. He never even looked at me when I made the case for him that he was a good human. But he never came back, and me selling that book, the book I dedicated to him was something I needed to do to let go of him. He's haunted me, and finally, I feel fine, there's no hum of him in my life, you took him away from me." She finished taking a long sip of her wine.
He looked at her, sadness etching into his face. His hand came across the table and grasped hers, his thumb stroking across her knuckles, a soothing motion that she hadn't experienced since the last time she spoke to Draco. Though memories continued to flood back about that moment she didn't feel dread when they came, she welcomed them instead.
"You're so incredibly strong Hermione." He smiled sadly.
She rolled her eyes at him, taking her hand away. "I'm not strong, Theo. I held onto the past for so long that it became a part of my identity. I'm being strong now letting go and becoming someone else, someone I should've become after he left and never came back." She finished, standing up to go grab the bottle again.
"Now tell me, Theo. How exactly have you been?" She said, filling up their glasses again, finishing the bottle off.
Theo went on to detail how his life had been, how he found that the best he could do after the war was to get into journalism but not talking to his subjects – he instead found joy in doing the dirty work and fact checking the information the other journalists brought him. He didn't want to get into public service that followed his family too much so he ultimately found this line of work fulfilling, and he could do it on his own time. She smiled as he went into detail about the life he had built for himself and how he was proud of who he turned out to be after everything was said and done. He apologized for not being around as often as he had promised he would be and promised this time that he would make sure to show up more than once every six years. She told him that she would hold him to that statement, and they finished up their wine while she gave him a tour of her flat.
"It was nice to see that you're well." He said as he put his coat and scarf on.
"I'm happy you came by, Theo. I'm sorry it started off rocky." She laughed lightly at the memory of her spilling how unhappy she was with her life thus far.
"I'll see you again this week, I'll send my owl and we can go for coffee." He gave her a light hug as she agreed and watched him make his way down the stairs and out of her building.
The day had exhausted her, she had no want or desire for a full regimen to get ready for bed, but instead opted to change and tuck herself under the covers and let the sleep finally take her.
~ ~
"So… How is she really…?" Draco looked at Theo as he entered the room.
"You absolutely fucked up brother." He chastised.
Chapter 6: v
Notes:
thank you again to embersofapril for dealing with my grammatical errors, only writing in Chicago style for schools absolutely messes you up for writing fanfics lol
Chapter Text
(v)
"What do you mean I fucked up?" Draco asked incredulously.
"She sold the book because she's trying to let you go," Theo deadpanned.
It wasn't as if he didn't expect her to let him go at some point in his life, he had half hoped she would. He wanted her to move on from him when he saw her defending him on that stand while he stood in the cage for the whole Wizengamot to judge him for his participation in the wizarding war. But she stood up there while everyone looked at her like she was a moron for defending him. Yet as everyone sent judgemental looks she remained brave, strong, and fueled by the stories they told each other they would make sure came true. She argued that he was doing what he needed to do to survive an unprecedented situation that none of them had anticipated they would ever be in. She was his white knight coming to save him from a future that looked bleak.
He heard that after they sentenced him to two years in Azkaban that she fled the country with Weasley and Potter. He figured that she would find someone who replaced him while she was gone; maybe a wizard that had passions outside of the area of philanthropic endeavours. Or, that's what he told himself would happen. Hermione would find someone who treated her like she deserved to be treated – not a war criminal sentenced to Azkaban for two years with no hope in ever creating a life for himself outside of pouring his money into causes to maybe, one day, safe his family name.
It wasn't until he came 'home' to Theo's manor that he realized the two had kept a correspondence the year he was set to be released. He thought she had maybe started it, but it was Theo who decided to check in on her. It was Theo who hypothesized that Granger had no idea about his release date. He had brought up multiple times in their letters, a roundabout way to infer if she was using that beautiful brain of hers that Draco would be back in civil society.
But she never asked about him. When Draco was released he found out that she had written a book about the wizarding war and its consequences on the students and other young wizarding folks that were forced to participate. She was such a bloody brilliant witch, his brilliant witch. He heard about the shop shortly after finding out about how well the book did. It made sense, it was their dream, he remembered so vividly the conversation, her smile as she looked up at him resting her body on his naked chest. He remembered how her hair felt as he ran his fingers through it, it was those memories that he only let out a handful of times that got him through the torment of Azkaban.
"So she has," Draco drawled out.
"You can't be bloody serious right now." Theo rolled his eyes before starting again, "Maybe it's that bloody fantastic Malbec she was serving me, but you're a right idiot if you're going to act relaxed when I tell you she's moving on," he scoffed.
"I'm not fucking relaxed, Theo," Draco shot at him.
"Sure fucking seems like it." Theo walked around and grabbed scotch from the counter top, pouring himself a glass.
Draco stood up and made his way to Theo's side, grabbing the bottle and repeating the movements that Theo just did. "I'm bloody petrified." He admitted.
"If you're about to give me an inner monologue like Granger did, spare yourself the time." Theo looked at him.
"What? You don't want to hear what both of the most brilliant minds of our age had to say?" Draco gave a zestful smirk.
"Let me just try and see what you'll say," Theo started, turning around and resting his hips on the counter, "You wanted her to move on so that she could start a life that didn't include you." He sipped the scotch, "You thought that you, mister death eater couldn't dare be worthy of that crazy beautiful woman –"
"Watch your tone," Draco warned, a venomous tone seeping from his words.
"Shut the fuck up." Theo cast a warning look at Draco.
"As you were saying?" Draco moved opposite to Theo now.
"You were an insecure prat, giving up the best thing that had ever happened to you. Do you even know how many people fucking hated you? Literally every person beside us and her. She fought for you in front of the Wizengamot you idiot. She was willing to stand there the whole day if they didn't escort her out for throwing a fit when your lawyer absolutely shit the bed with your case. I'm also pretty sure if the golden girl didn't come and defend you, you'd be living the rest of your life in Azkaban for half of the shit that you did during the war." Theo stopped to take a breath and a sip of his drink.
"I'm aware of what place I held during the war, I'm also aware of how I worked on both sides." Draco rolled his eyes.
"And yet she still loved you! I'm not sure how, you two and that fucking book of yours, always vanishing notes between each other. She asked you to come so many times man, and you didn't go? I know it wasn't safe, but by the way you two talked about your future I figured you would've dropped everything just to go be with her." Theo looked at him.
They were finally having it out over Granger. They never talked about her after the war, after they fought in private over the fact that she continued to say that she needed him and he was too busy carrying out missions with the death eaters. It was the greatest cause of their power struggle when they worked together because half of the time Theo, the always hopeless romantic, heard that he wasn't going to Granger's side when she requested to see him at ungodly hours of the night.
"There would be no future with her if I just went off. They would've found us and killed us." Draco looked at him like this wasn't brand new news for him to hear.
"Regardless of that, I would've thought that you two would've found each other amid the chaos – make a plan for whatever outcome came." Theo rolled his eyes, pouring another glass of Scotch.
There was chaos, and there was the world they were living in at the time – two things but Theo only knew what one was like. Draco acknowledged every day that Theo lived his life in chaos but at the same time, he never expected him to understand the gravity of the situation that he and Granger were in. It was as if at any moment their entire future could spontaneously combust and both of them walked on eggshells in order to preserve the sanity of what could be and what never came.
"I loved her," Draco said looking at Theo.
"Loved? Or still love." Theo responded.
It was a simple question really. Loved or still love? He couldn't give an accurate answer that didn't improperly frame him. He loved her, past tense, because he didn't know who she was now. In his brain, the Granger he knew turned into this woman that was well versed in all things academia but at the same time found time to relax and enjoy the moment. But she could be different now, what if they clashed? What if what they wanted to be was so far from the truth of what they were now.
"I don't know who she is." He sighed, downing the rest of his scotch.
"And whose fault is that?" Theo deadpanned.
"Look Theo, I know I fucked up, okay? Is that what you want to hear?" Draco took a step towards him, reaching for the bottle, "I fucked up and I let her go, willingly. I thought I was finally doing the selfless thing in my life but turns out it was the most selfish thing I've ever done. Have you at once ever thought about how it feels to know that I can't fucking walk down the street, go to her store, and hold her hand? Tell her I love her? Fuck I'm not opposed to taking her on her cash desk like I would have done if I wasn't such a fucking pussy about things." He started to get louder.
"I loved her like she was the oxygen that I needed to breathe and now I've been living on borrowed air ever since." He took a swig of the liquid, "I love her like she is still the oxygen I need to breathe…" he muttered to himself.
Theo looked at him, placing a hand on his should and using his free hand to take the drink from his grasp. He wrapped his arms around Draco for the first time since they had gotten the Dark Mark together and hugged him. It was at this moment that Draco broke, his walls of emotions came crashing down and tears flowed from his eyes.
"We had our fucking kids' names picked, Theo," he sobbed, "We had our fucking kids' names picked, and now I'm crying into my best mate's arms instead of hers." He laughed sadly.
Chapter 7: vi
Notes:
as always, thank you to my amazing beta embersofapril for reading this update 3
Ya'll should go check out her amazing fic!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
(vi)
A week went by with no word from Theo, or from Harry and Ron. But with Christmas rapidly approaching in the coming weeks, she found herself working into the ground with all of the people coming in and out of the store. Ginny had promised her today that they would go out and relax, have a glass of wine, maybe invite the boys to come too – they seemed equally as busy with adoption agencies and the documentation they needed to provide.
She was in the middle of closing up the store a few minutes early as the bell of the door rang indicating a new customer. She was in the middle of telling them that they were closing up early when she turned around and spotted Theo.
"Theo!" She beamed
"You're closing up early?" He repeated what she was saying as he walked further into the store surveying the surroundings.
"Oh, yes," she smiled "Ginny wants to go out tonight because I've been so stressed out with the holidays coming up," she trailed off, looking at him in a questioning way.
"Would you like to join us?" She tilted her head in question.
Theo looked taken aback, as if she had sprouted two heads. She laughed at his reaction and walked up to him putting her hand on his shoulder.
"I wasn't going to take no for an answer, Theo. You're going to come," She beamed.
"Now… I don't want to kick you out of my store but I do need to lock up and go home and get ready, but you can meet us at the pub down the road for say – 19:00?" She looked at him as she put on her jacket and made her way to the door.
"No… no… don't feel bad about kicking me out, I'll see you around seven," He smiled as he lead the way out of the store.
He remained in front of her asking idle chat questions about how her day was going, whether business was doing well during the holidays or if she was ready for the vacation she would hopefully give herself. She told him of her annual post-holiday week off that she took for herself and how it was the only time she let herself really relax at her home instead of using it as just a place where she ate and slept. He explained that he wished he could have a week off and she looked at him this time, like he had grown two heads and reminded him that with all of the money he had inherited that he was under no obligation to work. He looked at her this time like she was stupid and reminded her that he had never been relaxed ever.
"I'll see you in a few hours," she smiled at him as they got to her front door, unlocking it and leaving him with his thoughts on the street.
~ ~
Theo apparated back to his home once he knew she was out of sight and stormed into the room where Draco was deciding on which charities to donate to this Christmas season.
"I have an opportunity to present to you and I swear to god you better not fuck it up because I don't know when an opportunity like this will ever happen to you again," he said shutting the door.
Draco looked up at him, shock written all over his face which turned to confusion, "What are you talking about?" He questioned.
"Hermione asked me to join her and Ginny at the pub tonight, this is how you show up to her!" he exclaimed.
Draco stared at him a blank look on his face, "this is actually the most ridiculous idea you've ever had," he deadpanned.
"What universe are you living in? This is perfect," Theo spat.
"In what universe does it make sense for the long lost boyfriend to randomly show up at the pub and say 'honey I'm home' after not coming back home after he was released from prison…" Draco trailed off.
"Well now you're thinking far too pragmatically," Theo rolled his eyes
"Yes because it makes sense to show up after being gone for six years without a word and sit there and have idle conversation as if I haven't been gone the entire time," Draco rolled his eyes back.
"Well maybe just make a fucking grand gesture then, I don't know Draco, use that big brain of yours and figure it out," Theo waved him off and started to walk towards the door, "You know where her store is you idiot, I know you walk by on occasion in the evenings just to see her, we're going to the pub down the road from there. If you show up then you'll be smart for once but if you don't then I'll be seriously concerned for your sanity," Theo finished as he left the room, leaving Draco to mull over the idea of showing up in her life again.
~ ~
Hermione curled her hair today, to make it look less unruly as it normally was. She let it fall in long and loose waves down her back as she applied slightly more makeup than she does for her days in the store. A touch of brown in the crease of her eye and more blush and bronzer on her cheeks. The past eight years had been good for her facial features, her baby fat completely gone, leaving her with more prominent features to enhance. She finally saw herself as beautiful without the assistance of anyone's opinions and tonight she wanted to show the small world around her that she was happy with herself.
She opted for a knit sweater to pair with her skirt and tights. Heels are a good choice she thought to herself while she grabbed a pair of booted heels so that she was still able to walk in the winter conditions without getting too cold. She checked the watch on her wrist and noted the time, 6:45pm, she grabbed her coat and bag and rushed out of the door and made her way down the road.
Snow had started to fall lightly during her walk, but her speed led her to the front door of the pub with time to spare before seven. She spotted Ginny, Ron and Harry sitting at a round table near the back with beers already in their hands. She smiled and waved as she quickly made her way over to the group, removing her jacket along the way. As she stood at the forefront of the table they looked up and gave large grins at her.
"I ordered you the house red wine just a minute ago," Ginny said to note the lack of alcohol in front of her.
She nodded her thanks and got comfortable with how her jacket slung over the back of the chair, she ran her fingers through her hair to get the knots out from the walk over and finally relaxed. The waitress came by shortly after she was done brushing her hair out with her fingers with her glass of wine and Hermione smiled her thanks before taking a sip and looking at the few in front of her.
"So…" Hermione trailed off.
"We found an adoption agency!" Ron announced with excitement.
"That's wonderful Ronald," Hermione smiled at the two of them.
"When will you know about children?" Ginny asked, taking a sip of her beer.
"We're not sure, we gave them the information for us and what we were looking for," Harry started, "I told them we were flexible on age, but Ron here said that he was strict so I'm sure they're trying to figure out who wears the pants between us," Harry slung his arm around Ron.
"We all know that it's me…" Ron looked at them with a convincing look.
"You keep telling yourself that," Ginny scoffed.
"But…" Ron started.
"Honey, you have never worn the pants, I just let you think you do," Harry kissed him tenderly.
Hermione smiled at her friends and took a sip of her wine. The chatter in the pub began to increase as more people came in and out for the end of the week. She occasionally glanced around and looked to see if Theo had decided to show up to her invitation. He had thus far stayed away which wasn't all too much of a shock but she was hopeful to have another person join their occasional hang-outs.
"Another round? Shots?" Hermione beamed at them.
"Are you well?" Ginny laughed
"NO, but yes," She chuckled, "I just want to have a good time with my friends," She grinned at them.
"Well you don't have to tempt me with a good time," Ginny smiled and made her way over to the server and told her the order before returning to the table.
The drinks appeared in front of them in a moment's notice. Each of them picking up the shot glass and clinking them before taking a swig and scrunching their noses. Hermione grabbed her wine and took a long sip to wash down the alcohol from before.
"Firewhisky," she coughed.
"I told her to surprise me, but she really did the most basic option there was," Ginny scrunched her nose for a second time.
"Why did we all unanimously agree that this was the shot to go to when we were younger?" Harry questioned, taking another long sip of his beer.
"Are you two forgetting that we just got drunk on Firewhisky a few weeks ago?" Ron looked at them confused.
"Ron I was going through it," Hermione rolled her eyes.
"And you're expecting me to believe you're not going through it now?" He gave her a sideways look.
"Well… no, but I'm better than I was then," she smiled into her wine glass.
"Sorry I'm late," a voice interrupted her thoughts from behind her.
Hermione twisted around to see Theo again, a smile erupting onto her features. She shot up and grabbed him into a hug, "You came!" She beamed at him.
Theo laughed and looked down at her while her arms were still wrapped around his midsection, "I wouldn't dare refuse an opportunity to drink with people who don't suck," he laughed.
"Theodore Nott?" Ginny questioned.
"That's my deceased father," Theo laughed, going to sit down next to Hermione by pulling a chair next to her, "Theo Nott, the better one," he stretched his hand to her.
Ginny gave him her hand and he placed a kiss onto her knuckles, his eyes staying on hers as a blush erupted onto her already flushed face. He dropped her hand delicately and made eye contact with Harry and Ron before stretching his arm across the table to shake their hands one after the other.
"I am a taken man, Nott," Harry started to say with a mischievous grin on his face, "no knuckle kisses for me," he finished.
The entire table laughed and when Theo locked hands with Ron the two stared at each other, the respective grips were evidently more relaxed than this one happening before everyone now.
"You two have the same freckle pattern on your face," Theo noted as he stared at Ron.
"Impossible…" Ron trailed off.
"I know," Theo chuckled, "But it did make you stop thinking about the fact that I just kissed your sisters knuckles a moment ago," he laughed.
Rage returned to Ron's face but quickly vanished when Harry whispered something into his ear and his face turned red for an alternative reason. Hermione motioned to the waitress to grab Theo drinks to catch up to the group and motioned for another glass of wine for herself as the one before her was sitting at a quarter left. She finished the last sip quickly as she surveyed the table before her.
Ron and Harry were in the midst of a quiet conversation between themselves and Theo was in the business of talking Ginny's ear off as she looked at him with stars in her eyes. She knew where Ginny was coming from, Theo Nott was conventionally attractive and the type of man that women fell in love with whenever he paid attention to them.
"So what do you do?" She heard Ginny ask him.
"I work in Journalism," he smiled at her.
"Interesting…" she trailed off.
"It is?" He quipped.
"I'll be honest, I figured that you would have been the guy who just spent his families fortune when you inherited it," She looked at him.
"That's pretty presumptuous of someone who doesn't know me," he smirked at her.
"Oi, Nott, stop flirting with my little sister," Ron called from across the table.
"Shut up Ronald," Hermione pointed.
Everyone laughed and idle conversation began again. The hours passed by and the live contracted band started to play music to fill the pub with even more life than was already inside. Ginny and Hermione were still going drink-for-drink with the boys but the alcohol was evidently flowing through their veins faster than for the men. Hermione's giggles started to show during every conversation. Theo teased her on the fact that her laugh made everyone else laugh and Ginny playfully smacked his arms in chastisement when Hermione quieted; explaining that it was rare to hear her laugh whole heartedly these days. Theo's understanding look hit her face and he put his arms around her shoulders, muttering into her hair how he was just joking and that he was happy to hear her laugh again after so many years without it.
It was Ginny, however, who decided that they were all going to be inclined to dance. If Hermione would've been aware that this would've happened she would've foregone the heels and opted for a flat show perhaps, but here she was, alcohol coursing through her veins and the world full of life around her.
"I'm glad you came," Hermione smiled at Theo, "I think Ginny is glad too," She winked.
~ ~
There she was, dancing around as everyone smiled at her. She looked radiant in the dimmed pub lighting, as if the whole world stopped its motions for her. His feelings came flooding back, and all he wanted to do was to reach out and touch her but his nerves got the best of him. He walked to the bar top and ordered two shots of Firewhisky. The bartender placed them in front of him in exchange for the proper amount of galleons.
"Cheers," Draco nodded at the bartender.
"Two shots of Firewhisky please," a feminine voice said beside him.
He looked down and straight into the eyes of the woman who he left behind. She looked at him and smiled, and then her smile fell. "You look exactly like my ex-boyfriend," she said perplexed, "You wouldn't be him though because he left me a long time ago," she sighed.
"What a fucking wanker," Draco responded with a laugh.
"That's what my friends said!" She exclaimed looking at his remaining shot, "Firewhisky?" She asked.
"Of course," he smirked raising his one shot as she was given two.
"Cheers!" She smiled and clinked the glasses together while they downed the liquid simultaneously.
He beamed down at her, god she looked absolutely divine. The years had made her mature more and in a perfect way. He saw how time had worn into her skin but she remained as radiant as she did the night he told her he loved her. She looked up at him with a gleam in her eyes, flickering down to his lips. Don't fucking do that Hermione, he thought to himself as he stared down at her, taking her in.
"Do another shot with me," she said inaudibly.
"Okay," He whispered and motioned to the bartender for one more shot so he could match her second one.
The bartender was quick with his pour and put the alcohol and Draco held up the glass to hers once more, clinking them. They shot back the liquid, it burning a path down his throat and into his stomach as it appeared to do the same for her. She appeared to look off balance after the second one, so much so that she placed her hands on the countertop to hold her up straight.
"Are you okay?" Concern laced his voice.
"Yes I think that was just one too many," she whispered, "I should go home," she quietly turned around and made her way to the door.
Draco was fast on her heels as he put his jacket around her shoulders when she was outside. "Where do you live? I'll walk you home," he looked at her as she stumbled down the street.
"Right over there," she pointed at the building that was covered with bricks outside.
He nodded and walked her down the road, his hands on her shoulders as the winter wind nipped at his body. She fumbled with her keys and unlocked the door, stumbling inside. He followed her in and made sure she was properly in her flat before standing at the entrance of the door, looking at the home she built for herself.
"Come in," she said cheerfully, "would you like a water?" she smiled.
"You would really invite someone you just met at the pub inside?" he laughed.
"I'll bring it out here then," she smiled, moving behind the door and rustling around inside before returning outside with two glasses in her hands.
She shut the door and was greeted with him standing with his hands in his pockets. She handed him the glass with a smile him his as she stood adjacent to him. Her smile never fell as the glass touched her lips, finishing it all in one chug. A laugh escaped him as he watched how the sigh of drunken satisfaction left her lips. Her eyes shot to him in shock that she let the sigh slip out and furthermore that his reaction was to let out a laugh.
He studied her as she studied him, her fingers picking at the nails on one hand; something he told her she needed to stop when they were together all those years ago. She stepped forward from her spot and met up with him, reaching a hand and placing it on the side of his face beginning to peer upwards at him.
"You look so much like him," she slurred out.
"And you're beautiful," he blurted out catching her off guard.
Maybe it was the way the light outside was casting a glow behind him that made him look angelic, or maybe it was the alcohol coursing through her veins but as she stared at him eyes flickering down to his lips again and back up to his eyes his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Yet when her hands trailed from the side of his face to touching his lips his breath caught. It was in one swift motion that she was reaching up and brushing her lips to his. His hands wrapped around her waist as he bent down to hold her against him, tentatively deepening the kiss. The sound that escaped him could only be described as the sound of a man who was starving for air and finally able to breathe again for the first time.
She angled her head to allow the kiss to become deeper as she moved her hands to his hair, running her fingers up his scalp as he dipped to catch his breath. Her pants were all he could hear besides the blood pounding in his ears from the adrenaline of touching her.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
"Don't be…" he trailed off.
"It's just you look –" she started again.
"So much like him, you've mentioned," he laughed before detaching himself from her.
"Goodnight, Hermione," He said as he grabbed her hand, dusting his lips on her knuckles like Theo had done earlier that night to Ginny.
~ ~
"Goodnight," she whispered to the air.
Notes:
I can't do a slow burn I had to reunite them for a minute ok.
Chapter 8: vii
Notes:
I would be nothing if I didn't thank embersofapril for being my beta at the beginning of every chapter.
Enjoy you cutie pies
Chapter Text
(vii)
She woke up with the feeling of clarity the next morning, and he did not. She woke up with memories of a fever dream, kissing someone who looked like him; he woke up thinking about how good it felt to hold her hips in his hands. She went to clean herself up in the morning and pull out a book from the shelf, he went to the library to be left alone with his thoughts. She let the world escape from around her, he looked off into abyss and questioned why he ever thought he would make that sort of move on her again. Her mind wandered to him from before the war, he thought about how he used to curse her name into her hair as he finished. They had the same problem, thinking about one another. As she woke up, the memories of last night disappeared into her subconscious, guarded by a masked figure. He sat in his thoughts wondering what he would do next.
~ ~
"I fucked Theo Nott," Ginny blurted as she stepped out of the floo.
"You -" Hermione looked at her confused, "wait what?!" she screeched.
"I fucked Theo Nott…" she said again for clarification.
"No I heard that…" Hermione laughed, "how was it?"
"Oh my god, Hermione." She sighed, "I have never finished so many times in one night. He literally understood my body so well… I was so lost with the way his cock felt -" Hermione cut her off.
"This is a great time for me to tell you that Theo Nott is to me, what Ron is to you," she urged.
"Yeah but you never fucked Ron," Ginny started "Anyways you're going to get the details so just pretend that it's not him for a moment because I have no one else to tell," Ginny blurted out.
"Are you going to hit on me the entire night or are you going to ask me to come home with you?" Ginny peered up at him as her hand grabbed his.
"Come home with me?" Theo asked into her ear as a shiver rippled down her spine.
The two of them grabbed their things and walked hand in hand out of the pub, making their way down the street. Theo wrapped his arms around her and subsequently apparated them to the outside of his manor. The Edwardian house stood before them, covered in vines and brick as if they had been sheltering the house from outside forces. Theo walked them inside and took her jacket off, placing it on a hook.
"This is beautiful," she beamed at him.
"It is," he replied back but was evidently not referring to the house.
Hunger took over his face and he took two long strides towards her, capturing her mouth in a searing kiss. She responded instinctively and grabbed his face, kissing him with as much vigor as he gave her. His hands roamed the entirety of her torso, grabbing her closer, putting no distance between them. She was the one to break the kiss first to look at him, a question in her eyes.
"Are you okay with this?" He asked.
"Are you okay with this?" She asked at the same time.
The two of them erupted into laughter and nodded. The next move Theo made was bending down and grabbing her by the thighs so that he could walk them to his bedroom. Their mouths found each other again and continued to move in synchronized motions. At the threshold of his room he walked through, shutting the door with a swift movement from his foot. Her hands buried into his hair as she pulled his face closer to hers. He walked to the edge of the bed and gently laid her down, standing up and peering down at the woman looking up at him.
Her fiery hair was splayed on the mattress in tangled curls and her pupils were blown out from desire. As she sat up in the bed and ran her hands down his abdomen he felt his cock stiffen in the trousers he was wearing.
"I want you," she murmured as she lifted his shirt up and placing her hands on his skin.
A groan slipped from his lips and he attached his lips to hers again, pushing her back down into the mattress. His hips rocked into hers in the movement and two moans escaped from each of them. His hands slipped her top off from over her head and his mouth watered as two full breasts were spilling out of the lace bra she was wearing. He took no time taking off her bra and attaching his mouth to one rosy nipple.
"Theo," she moaned out as she rocked her hips up to meet his.
"Slow down, love," he murmured into her chest as he made his way back up to meet her lips.
He placed a kiss onto her lips and slowly made his descent to the hemline of her jeans. His fingers expertly undid and slid her pants down with her undergarments and slipped them off of her legs. She laid there bare in front of him and he unbuttoned his shirt so his skin could touch hers. As soon as his shirt was off he made his way up her legs, kissing them slowly, his eyes watching hers as her mouth opened and her breathing increased in anticipation.
"You're so wet for me," he breathed as he traced a finger down her folds.
"mmmm," she moaned out, "please…" she pleaded.
"Please what?" He asked, teasing another finger up and down her, momentarily touching her clit.
"Please," she panted, "touch me, Theo," she finished.
"As you wish," he responded, inserting a finger, watching her eyes roll back with the contact.
He worked her with his fingers and his mouth attached to her clit, sucking and licking while moans poured out of her mouth. Incoherent words that consisted of pleads and curses every time his fingers moved in and out of her.
He slipped another in and sucked long and hard on her clit as her hands attached onto his hair again. She lifted her head, brows creased and mouth open as he removed his fingers from her, leaving her feel empty and on the brink of climax.
"Not yet," He chastised.
A frustrated groan emerged from her lips – panting and feeling empty. She gripped his forearms and pulled him up so she could latch her legs to his hips and flip them over. It was her this time that kissed his chest and ran her hand up the length of his throbbing cock. The outline of him straining in his trousers was enough for her to close her legs together, adding friction to her swollen heat.
She undid his trousers and pulled them down, massaging his cock through his briefs. It was his turn to moan profanities as she continued the motion on him. Once he was a whimpering mess under her touch she slid the briefs down his legs exposing his straining length, the head swollen and ready.
She took no time in positioning herself above him, not using her mouth to make him lose his mind. She slid herself onto him as they both muttered moans as her walls gripped around him, sensitive from being edged.
"Fuck, Ginerva," Theo moaned as he grabbed her hips, stilling her.
"You feel so good," she moaned throwing her head forward to kiss him.
With him distracted she began to move on him, the motion and the position making him get deeper in her with every time she shifted up and moved down.
"Fuck," she moaned, the feeling of him in her driving her mad.
"That's right baby," he looked at her with hooded eyes.
"Fuck Theo," she exhaled as she quickened her pace.
"Yes baby," He used his hands to help her with her motion, "use my cock to get you off," he moaned.
Her breath deepened as she continued her motion on him, her walls pulsing around him as his hips joined her in her ascent to climax. She gripped his shoulder as her eyes began to roll back, the familiar feeling of an orgasm coming to the forefront of her senses.
"Cum for me baby," he whispered as his hips snapped up into her.
"Cum for me, cum for me, cum for me," he chanted as he felt her gripping him and her legs starting to quiver.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck Theo," she moaned out as she came over him.
His hips continued their drive upwards as his climax approached. She was leaning into him now, her mouth swallowing the moans coming from his mouth as he snapped up one more time and spilled into her.
"That was unnecessarily detailed, Ginny," Hermione said as she drank her morning coffee.
"It was absolutely necessary," Ginny retorted.
"At least some of us got some last night," Hermione rolled her eyes.
"Yeah you disappeared," Ginny looked at her.
"I took shots with some stranger at the bar top and then walked home," She laughed rolling her eyes at the way she acted last night.
"Was he at least good looking?" Ginny responded.
"He was, well," Hermione tried to jog her mind back to the night.
She remembered the energy of how she felt around him, how he was so kind to her as he walked her back to her place. She remembered how she invited him inside, something so uncharacteristic of her and he declined but accepted her offer of water. She remembered how the lights cast a glow behind his head and his mutterings of 'you're beautiful'. The only thing she couldn't place was the exact details of his face. She remembered he looked familiar… but there was something missing from her memory.
"I think I was so drunk that I don't remember exactly what he looked like," Hermione looked at Ginny shocked with her admission.
"Well fuck," Ginny laughed.
"Well fuck is absolutely correct," Hermione placed her hands down, looking off into the distance while feeling an overwhelming amount of fog in her mind surrounding the memory of him.
Chapter 9: viii
Notes:
TW* Talks of Suicide
Another HUGE thank you to @embersofapril for being the best beta ever.
I have also created a tiktok to post little videos of each chapter if you want to give it a follow! It's @likelyunfinished
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
(viii)
"And how are you doing?" her healer said.
"I've been better, I've also been worse," she responded, picking at her nails.
"Care to elaborate?"
"I think I am lonely," Hermione started, "Not in a way that is concerning, but in a way that makes me long to be loved again," she sighed
"You are lonely, Hermione," her healer started, "I could have told you that a long time ago but I'm glad you came to the conclusion by yourself," she gave a faint smile.
"Will this ache ever go away?" Hermione questioned.
"Depends, can you isolate the cause of the ache?"
"Well I would accurately assume that when you planned your whole life out with someone and they disappeared it would result in you having some sort of emotional damage." she rolled her eyes, "I sold the book that I dedicated to him, I figured it was a good idea to get him out of my store even though the concept was created by the both of us," she took a pause, "I also think that my friends are moving on and upwards in their lives and I'm at this stagnant place where I sometimes have dreams about the boy who left me. It's a peculiar thing, being broken, but I figure I won't attempt to glue myself together but instead mould myself like a brand new piece of clay," she sighed.
"Would you like to hear my opinion?" she heard her healer say.
It wasn't that Hermione avoided her healer's suggestions when it came to these types of sessions, but it was that she was headstrong especially when it came to herself. In her mind, no one could understand how she became the way she was especially when it came to healing from the past. Nonetheless, Hermione had decided she was turning a new leaf in her life and she nodded to her healer, surprise spreading across their face.
"I think that you have worried about everyone including yourself for so long that you haven't equipped yourself with the proper tools to understand yourself. You won a war, you wrote a book, you lost the love of your life, and yet you still wake up every day and chose to become the witch that you two had decided you would become. You struggle to let go because letting go would mean that you have to forget him. Furthermore, forgetting him would involve becoming who you are, completely without his influence. You are a talented and brilliant mind Miss Granger, and you are at this point in your life where I can accurately assume you are ready to inherit that personality trait of yours and move forward," her healer finished, looking at her.
"No matter what happens, you need to remember that you belong in the one percent of the population that continues to move on after a situation as you've experienced. So I'm glad that we've finally made a breakthrough in today's session but my assignment for you for next week is to find a thing every day to enjoy for yourself and not for anyone else," she continues as she stands and motions towards the fireplace.
Hermione thanked her and made her way towards the floo and headed back to her home where she was greeted with the safe haven. The sun was blazing in through the windows she had left open and her nerves instantly relaxed. She made her way into the kitchen and put a pot onto the stove, preparing tea for herself before sitting down on the couch and grabbing a book.
She found a knit blanket from the box of blankets near her couch and got comfortable. On days where she was speaking to her healer she found it easier to spend the rest of the day in her solitude instead of going back to the store and having to interact with people. She lost herself in the words before her, the day slipping away while the plot thickened and resolved itself. Sometimes, less recently as of late, she found this form of escapism the only reason she was able to continue on in times where she was lost in her mind.
The war had turned her into someone she didn't believe she would ever become, reliant on others and on outside forces for her sanity. The healer was a decision she didn't make easily, it look a lot of convincing from Harry and Ron one night when they found her in her apartment.
"Get the door open!" Ron shouted from outside of her flat.
"I'm trying!" Harry shouted back.
She was laying there, clutching the last potion that she owned, the mixture of the ten she had taken making her dizzy and incoherent. She started the night off with a bottle of wine, the wine that they had shared during the first date they had. The bottle of wine he gifted her because she had loved it so much.
"I'm sorry," she whispered into the abyss.
His memory was fading into the blackness of her mind, as if all of this time, all of the trauma had finally taken over relinquishing her from his hold on her. He was gone, she knew he was in Azkaban, or maybe he was out, but he never wanted to be there for her, he never came back. She felt as if there was nothing left for her, nothing left in this world except for the agony of losing the one she loved.
He said that in this lifetime and in the next, his soul would always find hers. Maybe this was selfish and the wrong thing to do. Maybe she should've just accepted that not everyone gets a happy ending but she wasn't willing to accept that for herself. She wanted to be selfish, she hadn't been selfish in so fucking long. So long in fact, she couldn't remember the last time she did something properly for herself.
"Where the fuck is your wand?!" Harry screamed.
"We came here such a hurry I forgot it! Where the hell is yours?!" Ron screamed back.
"Same reason!" Harry replied.
She popped the top open on the last potion and let the liquid glide down her throat as her body became weightless. Light and dark mixing in her vision as everything began to fade away. Time and space were no longer a concern of hers as the world blurred into one. A figure appeared in front of her, his figure, something she had given up seeing. A hallucination of her condition she reached her hands up to grasp at him but he faded away into the mist of her mind as her head fell back and her eyes began to roll. She felt like she was physically falling, and when she finally landed on the ground a crash echoed around her.
"Hermione, fuck, Hermione," Harry urged as he rushed towards her grabbing her limp body in his hands.
"Wake up 'mione," Ron shook her.
"Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up," Harry chanted into her hair.
"We need to get her to a healer now, Harry," Ron shouted
Harry was frozen in his place as he rocked her dying body in his arms. His trauma response was neither fight nor flight but was to freeze, and he was frozen. It was Ron who eventually grasped her limp body from Harry's hands and tossed the floo powder into the fireplace and headed towards St. Mungo's – screaming as they entered the building for help.
She was almost gone, her soul hanging on by a thread, a light that flickered inside of her body. The voices around her were a muffled hum in the darkness of her consciousness. Being there in the world was becoming less and less of a priority and she walked herself towards a new beginning, a new life, a new him.
But the new beginning never came. She woke up weeks later after dozens of tests and professional help and was greeted by Harry who had tears in his eyes as hers opened.
"You're going to get help Hermione," was the first thing he said.
"You also can't speak because you've been unconscious for three weeks and your voice needs rest," He noted to her as she nodded her head at him.
"What you did was stupid, so fucking stupid Hermione, but I think you know that," he started to cry as her eyes welled up as well.
"I can't lose you, you were the strong one for us before but I'm going to be the strong one for you now," he started. "I've set you up with a healer once you're discharged, you're going to go to her, and you will get better. I don't care how long it takes but I can't go through that again, I refuse to. I know that that is me being selfish but you're too special in this world to leave it," he grasped her hand.
She nodded at him, as much as she could and let out a long breath. She was discharged two weeks later and she dragged herself to the healers appointments. For the first while, she wouldn't speak and it was a one-sided conversation between her and the therapist. She wasn't ready to talk about what happened and someone forcing her to do so was the exact opposite effect that they were going for. But one day in the spring when the flowers were starting to bloom she finally broke down and spoke the first words she had ever said to her healer.
"I'm not happy and I don't know how to learn how to be," and their sessions started from there.
A knock on her door broke her from her thoughts and she placed the book down, making her way to the door. As she swung it open the motion gave appearance to Harry, standing there with a bag of groceries.
"It's been six years since," he said softly looking at her.
"I know…" she responded in a whisper.
"I know I come by every year and we cook together, but I brought extra special ingredients this year," he smiled as she gestured for him to walk in.
They made a spaghetti carbonara together while they chatted about how everything was going for him and Ron with the adoption agency. He handed her the chopped-up bacon for her to cook in the pan with the garlic and spices as he worked away on mixing the parmesan and eggs for later.
"I had a breakthrough today," she said idly as she stirred the contents around in the pan.
"Oh?" he turned to look at her.
"Yeah, I think that it's good for me to acknowledge that I'm not doing great, and how the events of recently have made me recognize how much I haven't moved forward but remained stagnant in my journey of healing," she said looking at the pan. "But I'm ready for healing and I am ready to move on. I can't keep living in the past if I ever expect to have a prosperous future," she lifted her head to smile at him.
"I'm proud of you," he gave her a sideways hug.
They spent the entire night joking and laughing about how it's almost incomprehensible that Ron would be a father…that either of them were ready to be parents. She confessed to him that she wanted to be doing this with them, to have children that would be growing up together and be best friends like they were. He told her that she didn't have anything to worry about and that he was sure that he and Ron would adopt another child when the time was right, so they could have that experience together. She told him it wasn't necessary, but he told her to shut up and that he wanted it too.
As the night drew to a close she gave him a hug at the door and wished him a good night, telling him to send her best to Ron. He gave her a kiss on the cheek and reminded her one again how proud of her he was for choosing survival when it seemed like there was no hope to do so at one point. When she closed the door she cleaned up her kitchen and went to her bedroom and changed into her night clothes before getting into bed. Opting out of taking dreamless sleep that evening, Hermione closed her eyes and for the first time in a long time she slept sound and throughout the entire night.