The sun rose the next morning, and set the next evening, it was the morning after that which brought what felt like a new day for Hermione. The memories of celebrating her second chance at life this year reminded her significantly of her decision to choose life, and in remembering that decision she also owed herself to continue her growth. So when she got to the store that morning she went through everything that she kept there that served as a memory of the man she used to love. She did so before the doors opened to the public, a reface of the establishment some would say.
Once she had finished removing the ghost of him and placing him figuratively and literally in a box in the back of her store she flipped the sign around to indicate that she was operational. She walked around the aisles as the store quietly came to life. She found smaller reminders of him around every corner and proceeded to move them to the box. Once the first customer came in she felt sincerely satisfied with her job being done.
"Good afternoon, is there anything I can help you with?" she smiled at the person.
"I think I know what I need to get," they responded in a gruff tone, their long cloak covering their face besides their mouth.
She gave a gentle nod and walked to the back area of stationary and adjusted the displays there, becoming mesmerized with how the light shone on some of the items – casting a glow around her of sunspots. One thing today that makes me happy, is the way my store looks so beautiful and full of life, she mentally noted. Her thoughts were broken as the hooded customer loudly hit the bell at the front of the store.
She rolled her eyes and made her way up front to be greeted by them standing with their hands in their cloak with the book isolated on the counter. She was greeted by the familiar embossing of Gainsworth's leather-bound books. A smile crept onto her face as she worked to wrap it up for the customer and rang it up on her till.
"Great choice," she noted smiling up at the person.
Their response was gruff with irritation and placing a mound of galleons on the table before her letting her eyes fall onto a long scar that ran up their ring finger and up into their arm. It was a scar she had seen once before, a scar that reminded her of Draco – however before she got a chance to speak up the wizard grabbed the book, and charged out the door and down the street. Awestruck she looked down at the payment method – noting that it equaled almost four times the amount of the asking price of the book. She grabbed what they had owed and ran out of the door with the galleons in hand.
"Sir your galleons," she yelled into the air of the busy street unable to see the cloaked wizard anymore.
She let out a sigh and accepted the loss and made her way back into the warmth of her store. Her mind preoccupied with the bizarre encounter, she went back to organizing and manipulating the look of the walls and other parts of her place. Each section of the row of books reminded her of a new way to organize it – perhaps in date of publication this year instead of author name, or maybe categorized by best-selling from more independent authors. She noted that if she were to do the second then she would most likely buy more independent authors' books to up their net revenue.
She puttered along her store as the day moved on, helping customers as they came and went, idle chat is the preferred method of conversation. She found that when she would speak to patrons she would forget the importance of what she was doing around her store which made coming back to it much easier. There was a form of serenity that arose with finding out how safe your space would be when it came to removing blockages of the past.
A restless-looking Theodore Nott came rushing through the door looking anxious and stressed out which was the last thing she expected to see as she hovered more things in the box in the back. His bewildered eyes found her and he rushed up to her and enveloped her in a hug.
"I – Hi Theo?" she questioned as her hands wrapped around his torso
"God have I missed you," he muttered
"You literally," she paused with a laugh. "You saw me last week," she finished.
"I know but it's been too long and I need to tell you so much," he smiled pulling away.
"If this is going to be about how you fucked Ginerva Weasley please do not because I already got an unnecessarily detailed version given to me and I simply cannot look at you the same Theodore," she looked at him, her face going from humor to seriousness.
"Oh…" he trailed off looking around at anything but her face.
"You absolute slag, you barely knew her!" she smacked his arm.
"She propositioned me!" he defended himself.
"I don't care! Use your head, the one at the top of your body," she scolded.
His face turned bright red and he cast it downwards looking at the floor and then up at her with a goofy grin on his face. She rolled her eyes and walked away to the shelves again to finish up the final organization of the day feeling accomplished.
~ ~
Theo followed closely behind her, surveying the room that was now devoid of Draco's memory and was seemingly more representative of Hermione's mind as a singular unit. A pang of melancholy hit his chest as he remembered that she didn't know he was alive and that what she was likely doing was moving on from the past and into the future. He wanted to tell her everything, oh did he desperately want to do so, but he knew it wasn't his duty to inform her of the truth.
"It looks different in here," he noted to her.
"I decided to clear out a few things that were contributing to the negative energy in my life," she smiled up at him.
He was sure she didn't mean to infer that Draco's memory was correlative to negative energy but it's how it came across. It was also how Theo took the way she worded it. There was a sense of moving on that came with the way she was talking and the way she presented herself around him that made him as proud as he was sad at the moment.
"Shall we go for our coffee? Or would you like to take it here?" He asked noting the coffee machine behind her counter.
"I should probably step out of the store once today so we could go somewhere else than here," she smiled moving to grab her coat.
~ ~
Being in the same room as she was, was enough to set his skin on fire. She didn't seem to recognize him and how could she, all that was visible of him was his mouth. He didn't even need this fucking book, he had all of them already but he couldn't help himself. He saw the door was open and he walked in without thinking of it. She was standing there in those jeans that drove him mad and a knit sweater that made her look mundane but also put together.
He loved her so damn much after all this time, the way she smiled at him even though he was a stranger, the way her hair flew around her as she turned her head to greet him. God, he's pretty sure he could smell her shampoo still but he wasn't sure if he was hallucinating the smell of lilies or if it was real. He wanted so desperately to throw his cloak off and expose himself to her, to just let her know that he was alive and he was looking at her, but he was a coward and he was afraid of how she would react to seeing him again.
He noticed how the store was a representation of herself, even the golden glow was a representation of her. He was pretty positive that the universe only moved for the light that she emitted. That, when she left her house for the day, her wish was the command of the world. Fuck he was turning into a hopeless romantic, it had been so long since he had even the smallest touch of intimacy that when she kissed him, drunk off of her mind, he fled and apparated back to Theo's before he did something stupid like throwing her door open and fuck her senseless bent over her kitchen table.
Even today, walking around that store, taking small glances at her while she moved things around and magically was sending small objects to the back of her store, he considered every possible surface he would have gladly taken her if she knew he was there. It was the second that he felt himself growing hard while watching her that he had to get out of there, he rang the fucking bell at her desk multiple times before she showed up to help him out. In a rush to get out of there he threw the entirety of the galleons he had on him and sped away, making his way down the busy street before apparating to Nott Manor.
"You look like you've been blue balled, brother," Theo laughed. "I know that can't be true because you simply haven't gotten any in so long," he put his arm on Draco's shoulder causing him to flinch.
"Don't fucking touch me," Draco shoved his hands away and walked towards his room.
"I can feel the testosterone seeping out of your asshole!" Theo called after him.
"It's hard not to, one of us has to apply enough for the both of us," Draco called out while slamming the door shut and letting out a long exhale.
He tossed the book onto the bed before him and made his way to the ensuite bathroom and turned the shower on to the hottest setting possible. He shed off his clothes and stepped into the steam, the hot water rolling down his skin allowing a hiss to leaving his lips from the temperature. The water cleansed his skin but it did nothing for the thoughts that plagued his mind. The thoughts of her in that store, just walking around and humming to herself as she moved things around. How close he was to her that he could almost grab her wrist and pin her against the bookshelf and captured her lips in his. He would've lifted her legs around his waist and ground into her while she became a whimpering mess.
His hand found his length as he moved up and down in an agonizingly slow motion, his one arm supporting himself on the wall as the water splashed down the contours of his back and along the scars that were etched into his skin. Images of her looking at him while he would fuck her up against that ungodly sturdy-looking bookshelf had him straining against his hand. It's like she thought about it when she bought the fucking bookstore. Moans slipped from his mouth as he intermittently tightened his grip, going various speeds as his breathing began to deepen.
He thought of her hands on his back, coving him with scratches that would only make him drive into her harder.
"Hermione," he whispered as he felt the familiar tightening in his balls as he reached his climax.
He rested the entirety of his weight on the one arm supporting him as his breathing came out, in short, exhales but long inhales. It had been so long since he had been in there that the water was slowly coming down in temperature as he regained his strength and shut everything off before stepping out of the shower and into his room again. He changed into slacks and a t-shirt before exiting his room to go to speak to Theo again but he was met with the emptiness of the house.
~ ~
"How are you doing?" Theo asked as he took a sip of his coffee.
"Why does everyone keep asking me that," Hermione rolled her eyes.
"Because it's idle conversation…" he spoke out slowly.
"I am fine," she emphasized.
"Ok well I am not," he looked at her.
"Theo…" she laughed
"At least one of us will be honest about our feelings here Hermione," he chastised.
"I am being honest with you Theodore!" she exclaimed.
"Then what is fine with you?" he rolled his eyes.
"God every single one of you pushes me to my breaking point here," she snapped.
"I'm not…" he started but she cut him off.
"I'm fine as in I've had breakthroughs with my healer. I'm fine as two days ago I celebrated my choice to live six years ago. I'm fine as in I'm trying to move on. I'm fine as for the first time in my life I'm choosing myself instead of worrying about what everyone around me has tried to influence from my life," she finished looking at him with an expectant stare.
"I didn't mean…" he trailed off.
"No you didn't, Theo," she looked at him. "I know you didn't, but everyone is always expecting me to be open and honest about my feelings and concerns but maybe perhaps for once in my life I'd like to just keep my progress to myself and my healer," she gave him a sad smile.
"I understand," he looked at her.
"Now what is going on with you, you mentioned you weren't fine," she said in a questioning tone.
"You didn't want me to talk about Ginny," he looked down sheepishly.
"Imagine this as your one free pass to talk about her," she reached her hand across the table.
He gave a moment of contemplation and then the dam broke down, "god she's amazing Hermione, do you know how long it's been since I've been able to find someone who truly gets me and the things I want and needs? She's like this molten lava that has desolated everything from me and all I can see is the path that she has carved. I've only had sex with her once but god she's all I think about morning, noon, and night, but she won't speak to me and I'm afraid I've fucked it up," he sighed.
"Have you reached out to her, Theo?" she asked
"Well no…" he looked down.
"There's your first problem," she barked out with a laugh.
Chapter 11: x
Notes:
To the girlies: as promised, a longer chapter 3
Chapter Text
(x)
"You can't invite him last minute," Ginny said sternly
"So last minute is the problem? I could've sent one out earlier?" Hermione challenged.
They were preparing Hermione's flat for the one-holiday party she allowed herself to be selfish and throw, but this year she had been dying to invite Theo for the sole reason that both he and Ginny had been insufferable regarding their one-night stand. She had given Theo advice which he blatantly disregarded and opted for his way of going about things which was just to not do anything at all since Ginny hadn't indicated that he had gotten in contact with her again. So she took it into her hands and now she was dealing with the repercussions of Ginny not being able to handle potential conflict regarding herself.
"I swear to god Hermione I will hex you in your sleep if you send out a last-minute invite," she threatened.
"What a shame, I've already sent it out so that threat was useless," Hermione smiled sweetly at her.
Ginny stared at her in shock with her mouth agape. Small words started to form but they were incoherent babbles when they came out. A laugh escaped from Hermione as she worked her way through her feelings and she patted Ginny on the shoulder while walking out of the room earning a loud "what the fuck" from behind her. Hermione ignored her insistent complaints and protests about the way she was going about setting the two of them up and that it should be up to Ginny even though she would likely never do anything about it and just let the situation fade into the past.
As she entered her kitchen and grabbed the corkscrew from her drawer and started to open a bottle of wine she looked to the younger friend that said now would be a great time to shut up, fortunately, for the both of them, Ginny took the hint and sat down at the island and placed her empty glass of wine in front of Hermione. Hermione poured both of them a generous amount and took a long sip.
"Do you want to talk about why you don't put yourself out there for him?" Hermione questioned the redhead before her.
"Not particularly," Ginny muttered.
"I think you do but you just don't want to admit to yourself that you're just being selfish regarding your heart," Hermione noted.
"Am not…" Ginny retorted.
"Are too…" Hermione gave a knowing look.
"Am definitely," Ginny sighed.
"So why not take a risk?" Hermione asked taking another sip.
"Not all of us are so welcoming with our hearts, Hermione," Ginny snapped.
"Who are you referring to, because it is sure as hell not me," Hermione snapped back.
"You're a bleeding heart for everyone but yourself,"
she retorted.
"It's not inherently wrong to care about others, Ginny," Hermione narrowed her eyes.
"It is if you can't take care of yourself," Ginny rolled her eyes.
"I can take care of myself!" she shouted slamming her glass of wine down.
"I take care of myself every bloody day if you haven't noticed, I wake up and I go to work, and I make a name for myself outside of that bloody "golden girl" bullshit," Hermione continued. "There's so much more to my life that you do not know not to have you ever indicated caring about," her breathing was heavy now. "I'm tired of explaining myself to people why can't they just be fucking happy that I'm happy now? Let me set you up with Theo he's good and he has a good heart and you'd be so stupid to let that go, don't let the shadows of your past inhibit your path in moving forward, Ginny," She calmed down.
Both of the women stared at each other until one of them conceded the truth: that they were not only selfish for themselves but also selfish in helping others. That they would gladly take the time out of every day and help those around them before helping themselves… there was so much to learn from one another and the world around them that in the moments of despair that they experienced there would always be light.
"I'm sorry," Ginny said looking at her.
"It's fine," Hermione brushed her off.
"It's not," she noted.
"You're right it isn't, but I'm not going to fight again," was the reply.
The two agreed to share their indifference and finish the bottle of wine whilst getting ready before people showed up. It was a few days before Christmas now and she found herself genuinely happy that she was able to spend the time this year with such a good mindset before her. She had used a charm on her hair to smooth down the curls and then delicately pinned up one side of her hair to just behind her ear before working on her makeup. She opted for a light and minimal look for the day but chose to put gold shimmer on her eyes before defining the crease with a brown hue. Once her face was done she put on the deep red satin floor-length dress she had picked out weeks ago for this party and went back to the vanity to put on matching lipstick. Ginny on the other hand was in a golden dress that ended just below the knee and hugged every curve on her body. Her hair was pinned up in a French knot and her makeup was more defined than Hermione's. Her eyes popped with the dark brown lid that she gave herself and her lips had the illusion of everlasting hydration with the lip gloss she had charmed to never wear off.
"You look beautiful," Hermione said with a smile as she stood behind her and watched as Ginny nervously slid her hands down on the dress.
"Yeah?" Ginny questioned nervously.
"Yes," she smiled hugging her from behind and whispering that Theo would think so as well.
The flat is festive but isn't at the same time. She put up a Christmas tree a few days ago and hung her ornaments in various places after she strung white lights all over it. The smell of fresh pine was welcome in her home as it reminded her of being in nature at night with those that she loved. Her furniture remained relatively the same except for more holiday-colored accents. She put small golden evergreen trees around her place and accompanied them with candles that smelt like the pine of her tree. There was an inherent warmness that was blanketing her home during the holiday season and she found herself smiling at how happy it made her. No longer was she holding onto the past during this season but instead celebrating the future of her friends and family at this time.
~ ~
"Where are you going dressed up like that?" Draco questioned as Theo tied his tie in the mirror.
"Grangers," he noted while he was concentrating.
"I see…" Draco trailed off while walking behind him to look at the hack job he was doing on his tie.
"Honestly, brother, you'd think you'd be good at doing this by now but you're hopeless…" Draco trailed off before turning him around and taking the tie off of him and undoing the knots he was putting into it by his incompetence.
"I'm bloody nervous leave me alone," Theo snapped.
"So the younger Weasley will be there then," Draco hummed. "You haven't sent her flowers yet have you?" he looked at him.
Theo's look of shame was all he needed for his answer. The fucking idiot Draco thought as he pulled up Theo's collar and started tying the tie. "You know that if you just show an ounce of interest it'll likely go your way?" He questioned.
"She's bloody intimidating," Theo deadpanned.
"I don't understand how when her brother is a twat," Draco rolled his eyes while he moved the fabric around each other.
"I won't argue with you there," he paused. "Are you okay if I go?" He questioned as Draco finished up his tie and smoothed it down.
"I'm offended you think you need my permission but yes, I'll be fine," he gave an encouraging push out the door before muttering that he will be late if he doesn't go now.
~ ~
The knock came from the door that broke Ginny and Hermione from their thoughts, and though Hermione wanted to just shout to walk in, she made her way to open the door herself. She had made this a custom, a tradition if you will, for her holiday get-togethers. They were to not use the floo connected to her home, instead, they were to come as mundane as possible and to bring food or drink with them. She spent the better part of a week curating her dishes for the night and freezing them so when it came to the day of the only had to warm them up and place them on a platter atop of her table. Most of them never understood the desire to have something so traditional and unique to their traditions but they never questioned it. Every year they came back with smiles on their faces and favors in their hands to contribute to the festivities.
A smiling Theo appeared before her with one bottle of the wine they had drunk the other day in one hand and the other was a bouquet of roses. A smile spread across her face returning to him as soon as she realized that the roses weren't for her, but were for a certain redhead sitting on the sofa having a glass of wine idly chatting to Hermione even though she wasn't listening. Hermione grabbed the bottle from his hand and gave him a hug whispering to him that she was very glad he came and he returned the sentiment.
"Ginerva," Theo sent a smile to her as he walked over with the roses.
"I –" she looked shocked. "Theo," she breathed out standing up and smoothing her dress down.
"You look beautiful tonight," he reached for her hand and kissed her knuckles.
A blush crept across both Hermione and Ginny's features as Theo's lips touched Ginny's knuckles. She was such a hopeless romantic and watching the chemistry beam off of the two of them made a fire light inside of Hermione's heart which had been filled with dimming embers for far too long. She let them have their moment in as much privacy as she could give them and made her way to the wine cabinet, putting away Theo's wine. When another knock sounded in the room breaking everyone from their thoughts Hermione gave a smile at them and went to the door and welcomed in a happy-looking Harry and Ron. She smiled at them and gestured to the table for them to put down the food that they had made for dinner and Ron placed a bottle of scotch on the kitchen counter catching Theo's attention.
"Is that The Macallan Fine & Rare Vintage Single Malt Scotch Whisky?" he said standing up from his spot on the couch beside Ginny and walking over to inspect the bottle.
"It is…" Ron responded skeptically.
"This stuff is fantastic," Theo beamed. "Excellent choice," he smiled.
"Thank you," Ron replied with a smile. "Would you like some?" he offered.
"If you're offering it wouldn't be wise of me to turn it down," Theo grinned.
It was as if at this moment both of them had surrendered their apprehension to one another and found common ground even if it was based on an obscenely expensive bottle of liquor. Hermione went over to Harry who was standing alone staring at the photos on their wall, inspecting the brand new one she had put up a few days ago with the inside of her newly revised store. As she approached him she laced her hand in his and put her head on his suit-covered shoulder.
"It looks like you," he started. "I mean not physically but the essence of you," he finished quietly.
"I know," she whispered.
She lifted her head and looked at him with a smile. She had put hours into the store and had finally felt as if she was happy with the way it reflected who she was now. Everything had a warm hue and it welcomed her like a second home instead of a home she was trying to hold on to. With a squeeze of Hermione's shoulders, Harry turned to the group and began to speak.
"Are we expecting others or should we start to eat?" he beamed.
"Just us," she smiled softly.
She had considered inviting Luna and Neville but she hadn't spoken to them since they had gotten married. There was also the possibility of inviting George just for number's sake but she wasn't particularly close with him anymore. She had her small community and even inviting Theo this year was a larger step than she expected to take. The significance of inviting someone into the dinner wasn't as obvious as she let them believe but in reality, she figured it was time to let the group grow a bit more even if it made her feel like she was letting go of the past.
Her smile appeared large on her face as she clapped her hands together and motioned toward the plates near the assortment of food and told everyone to take what they wanted. While they lined up to grab the food she set out glasses of wine and an assortment of types so they could pick any type they wanted without the pressure to have what others were drinking. As everyone sat down on the sofa and the adjacent chairs around it she took her cue to grab her plate of food and settle in for the conversation to start. Her first course of action upon getting comfortable was to open a bottle of chardonnay for herself and pour a glass. She smelled the tannins before taking a small sip and sighing relief from the familiar tastes of butter and oak.
"You seem to be enjoying that glass 'mione," Ron jested.
"It's a good Chardonnay, Ron," she laughed as his face scrunched at the idea of drinking Chardonnay for fun.
"I'd rather stick to my scotch," he lifted his glass and nodded before taking a sip.
"I think that's a wise move honey, your wine drunks are not for newcomers," Harry squeezed his hand before motioning his head at Theo.
"Don't stop the fun just because I'm here," he smiled. "I'm just glad that Hermione finally invited me after all the years of correspondence," he lifted his glass of scotch to salute her.
~ ~
Draco walked around the manor in laps, he was on his fourth one to be exact. There was nothing to do here and it was infuriating. He would've gotten ahead of his charity donations but no one was accepting any more this close to Christmas, instead, they would start the following day when employees were permitted to go back to work. So in the absence of something to do he started doing laps to pass the time. How many fucking rooms did he have down the one hallway was his question, every time he did a lap he found himself losing track of the number. Though his manor at one point rivaled Theos there was never an unnecessary amount of rooms on one singular stretch – that made no sense.
At the end of the fourth lap, he gave a long sigh and grabbed the dinner left for him, and placed a warming charm on the plate before sitting down and opening a bottle of vintage Cabernet Sauvignon from Theo's wall and pouring a glass. A satisfied sigh escaped his lips as the pairing of the wine complimented the dinner he was left. He could've cooked, he knew how to, but it was seemingly easier to let the house elves do their employed job for him.
His dinner didn't last long and he conceded to the fact that he needed to leave the house. As he grabbed his coat, hat, and gloves he said goodbye to the abyss of the manor and made his way to the streets of Wizarding London. The chill of the night had him on edge, his breath coming out in exhales of fog and disappearing into the night sky. He wasn't particularly going anywhere, letting his feet take him where they wanted to go. It wasn't until he found himself down a familiar street with – the shops coming back to his memory and the large stone building staring back at him. He didn't intend to wind up at Granger's flat but as he stood far enough that he was just a figure in the distance but could still see through the large windows that peered into her living room he felt a pang of jealousy stab deep inside him.
There stood Hermione, with her deep red dress on, smiling as Theo and Ginny danced as well as Ron and Harry. She was alone at the moment and there was nothing he wanted more than to run up to her doorstep and demand to be let in so he could hold her close to him as they swayed back and forth to the music of the night. He could see how her hair had been pulled back on one side as if someone had gone in and placed it behind her ear but he couldn't tell how it wasn't falling every third second knowing how thick her hair had been. Gods, he wanted to run his hands through her hair and tug it back so her face would tilt up to his so he could kiss her.
She suddenly turned her body to walk to the window and panic coursed through his veins as he quickly found a shadowy corner to tuck into but still see her. She looked to be giving a half-hearted smile while looking down at her wine and back out to the world before her. Gods she was the most stunning creature he had ever laid eyes on in his life. She aged with such beauty and grace that his breath seemed lodged in his through as a grin erupted onto her face and she turned around being grabbed into dance with Harry and Ron.
He took this moment to turn on his heels and make his way back to the manor. But as he turned around into the night and stalked down the street and past her store he looked inside and wondered why everything that resembled them was gone. He realized six years was too long to hide from the love of his life and his expectation of being reunited with her was going to be far from the truth and therefore, he had to somehow grow a pair and deal with the consequences of his impending actions. He grabbed his wand from inside his jacket and took a galleon from his pocket, transfiguring it into a purple rose which he was able to tuck into the crevasse between the door and the frame.
His night at the manor, once he was back, was quiet and perfect for him to lay in bed deep in his thoughts. Though as he was somewhere between giving himself his form of therapy and wondering why he acted the way he did, the muffled sound of giggles came from outside the door. With irritation, he stood up and swung the door open about to beg Theo to be quiet because he was trying to sleep he was met with the big eyes of the youngest Weasley holding his best friend's hand.
"Mate," Theo started cautiously.
Her bewildered stare was locked on his as he realized what he just did. He couldn't move and it seemed like she couldn't either as Theo tried to get either of them to speak.
"He's dead, I'm seeing a ghost," she sputtered out.
"I'm," Draco started.
"You're dead," she whispered at him.
"Where would you have gotten that information from," He retorted, irritated.
"You have been gone for six years everyone thinks you're either dead or fell off the face of the earth," she stared at him.
"Congrats, you solved the greatest mystery this year," he said turning around.
"I have to tell her…" she trailed off
"Under no circumstances will you do that!" He turned around and snapped.
"You're expecting me to lie to my best friend?" she looked at him incredulously.
"You will because I will not have you being the one to tell her that I'm alive just because I'm a coward and am afraid to do it," he finished with a snap.
"I don't know what she saw in you," she started grabbing Theo's hand to go. "You're a coward," she turned away.
He shut the door, his breathing coming out in short gasps from the interaction. He was panicking and he didn't know how to stop it now. He hadn't had a panic attack in years since he had gotten out of Azkaban but now he was clutching his chest and his mind was reeling. He grabbed for anything of sustenance around him, something to ground him where he was but he was reaching into the dark and his wand was nowhere close to being near him.
Crawling in the dark on three points, the fourth being occupied by his hand clutching his chest he made it to the foot of the bed and placed his head on the mattress, and tried to control his breathing – the tears coming down his face like rain during a storm. His sobs disappeared into the night as his breathing eased up and his eyes became heavy before he fell into the darkness of his slumber still clutching to the bottom of his bed.
Chapter 12: xi
Summary:
Where our hero talks about his first encounters with our heroine.
Notes:
I've been waiting for this one
Chapter Text
(xi)
Eight years ago, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
October, 6th year:
"You're right impossible, Granger," Draco stared at her as she stood her ground before him.
"I'm not moving until you answer my question," she stated while putting her hands on her hips.
"I don't know what you're talking about," he rolled his eyes at her.
She had cornered him before curfew one night in the middle of fall when he was least expecting it. Though, he should have been expecting it for a while because, at this rate, she was following him around the castle worse than Pansy had been. The only difference between the two witches was their appearance, but one had done it in the shadows and the other was blatantly trying to get in his pants. He didn't mind Pansy's pursuit but Grangers, on the other hand, he's finally happy that she got off of her high horse and confronted him herself.
"You know exactly what I'm talking about," she pointed her finger into his chest.
He swatted it away like a piece of lint on his jacket and leaned back against the wall crossing his arms across his torso, looking her up and down. She had grown up in these past years and became hotter than that annoying first year who always had to be right. Now he was looking at her, all of her, while her face got redder and redder the longer he refused to answer her question.
"And you're calling me impossible?!" she screeched.
He put a hand over her mouth to shut her up and her eyes widened in horror from his touch.
"If you're going to scream Granger, I'd rather you do it while I'm buried in you," he smirked.
Her mouth opened in shock as he taunted her and she stepped away from his touch and hurried down the hallways, no doubt back to Potter and Weasley. That was the first time he had avoided Hermione Granger's inquisitions.
November, the same year:
She hadn't stopped following him around. This time she was less conspicuous about it too. He had been in the library and she sat down at the table directly across from him and didn't open the book of hers at all. He thought she loved bloody homework so he assumed that she would've buried her nose when she sat down… instead, she stared at him until he looked up and gave her an upward lift of his brow. Her eyes narrowed at him and she mouthed 'I need to talk to you', to which he responded with, 'too fucking bad' and continued the readings.
It was a situation of who had more time to kill because she sat there and finally conceded to reading the book, Draco noticed until Weasley came in and bothered her to go and do something with him and Potter. She reluctantly left where she was stationed and gave him a look that read: I'm going to talk to you if it's the last thing I do. He didn't doubt her determination in the matter but instead of worrying about it, he continued working away. This was the second time, he figured it happened more than once so he should probably start keeping count.
November, a week later:
"You can't avoid me forever!" she yelled at Draco.
"I think that's exactly what I'm going to do," he shouted back as he continued down the hall.
That was the third time, and he finally admitted he was enjoying pushing her buttons now.
November, that same week:
He was alone in his thoughts in the men's lavatory when she rushed in with no care in the world causing half of the students to stare at her in shock.
"I'm tired of waiting to talk to you," she said with her arms crossed.
I wish she undid her school uniform so I can at least see her breasts when she does that he thought as he stared at her with his eyebrow quirked up. Theo Nott came out of the stall shortly after and gave a questioning look which was backed up by Blaise Zabini doing the same thing.
"Are you lost, Granger?" Zabini asked.
"You are aware this is the men's lavatory correct?" Nott pushed.
"Is there something you care to tell us about your location of choice?" Zabini teased.
"You guys are ridiculous," she screeched and turned on her heels, and made her way out of the lavatory.
This was the first time he was saddened to see her go, but Godric did he ever love to watch her legs in that skirt as she left... She bothered him four more times that same week.
December:
"Granger," he said walking up to her for the first time.
She looked at him with a look of bewilderment but shut her book and stood up to meet his eyes. He didn't realize how short she was compared to him until now, he didn't notice much about her until now actually. Sure he had noticed over the interactions small things like the dust of freckles across her nose and the way her nostrils flare when he pissed her off.
"Malfoy?" she questioned which was understandable.
"It's almost Christmas time Granger," he sighed. "So I figured I'd let you finally ask that question you've been wanting to ask," he finished watching the light brighten in her eyes.
She scrambled with all of her books and held them tight to her chest as she moved to a quiet alcove in the library. She seemed frazzled with the question she was about to ask but he knew where she was going with it, this was the question everyone had been dying to know but only those around him knew. Even bloody Pansy had been left in the dark about it and she was self-proclaiming herself as his girlfriend. He didn't even like shagging her.
"Are you know what?" she asked quietly.
"A what?" he asked.
"You know what," she whispered.
"Granger I'm going to need you to use your words here," he stepped closer to her and she backed into the bookshelf. Check.
"A death eater," she whispered.
He stepped closer to her so he could feel the faintest outline of her hands that were busy clutching her books. He lowered her head to her ear and heard her breath catch at the proximity of him next to her. Mate.
"What do you think?" He said before walking away and leaving her with her thoughts.
February of the new year:
Granger had been annoyingly absent from their little meet-cutes since they came back from the winter holidays. He assumed she came to her senses and left him alone now knowing the truth about him and the life he was set to live. Thank god she did leave him alone because he was starting to picture her bloody golden eyes whenever he fucked Pansy, or even worse when he was pleasuring himself in the shower. He couldn't get her out of his head and he was doing everything he could to do so.
"You look strung out, Brother," Theo noted whilst they sat in the great hall during breakfast.
"I'm always strung out," he rolled his eyes in return.
"Yeah but this is worse than usual…" Theo trailed off.
"Should you be kissing Daphne's arse?" Draco snapped.
"She's not exactly my type," Theo trailed off looking down the way at the Gryffindor table.
"Weasley's little sister is not your target, Theo," Draco chastised.
"You're one to talk," Theo scoffed.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Draco took offense.
"Mate, next time you think you're alone in that bloody bathroom put a fucking silencing charm so no one can hear you," Theo started leaning close to him. "I had to put the damn silencing charm up for you when I heard you moan Granger's name," he laughed quietly
"Don't makeup stories Theo, it's not a great look on you," Draco drawled out.
"What're you guys talking about?" Blaise smiled as he sat down at the table.
"Nothing," the men said together.
"You guys are no fun," Blaise frowned.
February, that same day:
"Malfoy," a feminine voice said behind him.
He turned around to see Granger with a look on her face that meant business before she shoved him into the nearest broom closet. Taken by surprise by her forwardness Draco's back hit the wall as she shut the door, put a silencing charm on the room, and locked it before turning at him and lighting the light.
"Sweetheart if you wanted to hook up you could've just asked," he smirked at her.
She didn't listen to the words coming from his mouth, instead, she stalked up to him, grabbed his hand, and lifted his leave revealing his tattoo. He snatched his arm away from hers and forcefully pulled his sleeve down.
"What the fuck, Granger?" he shouted, "You don't just go up to people you barely know and lift their sleeves," he continued.
"So I was right!" she exclaimed, "I couldn't enjoy the holiday because I was too busy trying to figure out why you were so bloody ambiguous about your wording," she quickly stated.
"So you thought about me during your holidays," he smirked.
"What?!" She stammered, "No, no I did not," she finished.
"Don't worry love, it's okay to admit you did," he started to take a step forward to her but she cut his motion off with a question he didn't expect.
"Why did you do it?" She asked calmly.
"What sort of ridiculous question is that?" he snapped.
"I don't think it's ridiculous, why did you do it?" she asked again
"The way you think I had any sort of choice in the matter," he rolled his eyes.
"Everyone has a choice, Malfoy," she sighed.
"In case you've forgotten, we are different people, some of us don't get a choice in the lives they're set to live out," he lightly pushed her aside and made his way out the door.
"Well maybe you should have a choice," he heard her say quietly before he slammed the door shut behind him.
That bloody self-righteous Gryffindor, why does she think she gets to give her two cents about everything that happens around this place? He did find it sweet that she did though.
March:
He pulled her into the broom closet this time. She looked at him with shock. He felt like his whole body had been burning since their last interaction a month ago in the broom closet. He saw her watching him during class, in the great hall, around the corridors, at the quidditch matches. He couldn't get her to stop fucking looking at him. He couldn't focus without seeing her in his mind. He could hear her laugh, her voice, he couldn't stop thinking about her touch from the last time they were together.
She tried to yell at him when he pulled her in behind him, but he cut her off with his lips. She shoved him back and opened the door and hurried out.
It was in March that Draco Malfoy realized he was royally fucked when it came to Hermione Granger.
Chapter 13: xii
Chapter Text
(xii)
Mornings are something very interesting to Hermione, during a regular mundane morning her space was surrounded by serenity. During holidays such as Christmas, she found herself running around to get everything she needed to be finished before she was expected to arrive at the Weasleys, although she loved her mornings of serenity these were the mornings she loved. In the mornings, where she woke up on a mission and felt like everything she did, was ticking off a thing on the 'to do' list. Hermione loved her 'to do' lists, she was mercilessly teased about them growing up but she was the only one who got everything done compared to her cohorts. She missed the added challenge of Christmas Day and what it brought her. There was something so simplistically beautiful about the idea of having things thrown at yourself to satisfy a grander plan.
So it was when Hermione woke up in her bed with the sun beaming in, a contrast to the white snow scattered on the ground that she smiled with anticipation for what the day would bring. She slipped out of her bed and got herself ready quickly but efficiently – the anticipation to arrive at the burrow building in her gut. So much so, that the night before she had placed everything she needed outside of her room so when she finished her morning routine she only had to floo to get there – which was exactly what she did.
"Happy Christmas!" Her cheerful voice called out as she was met with multiple pairs of eyes that seemed to obtain the same cheerful gleam found in hers.
"Happy Christmas," a chorus of voices rang out and she made her way to the sitting area and sat down next to an anxious-looking Ginny.
She smiled as she sat down and placed a gift in front of her with a smile before moving to everyone in the circle. They all took their turns opening up gifts and a series of 'thank you', 'I love it', and 'you shouldn't have!' came from the group.
"How was your night with Theo?" Hermione gave a knowing look at the youngest Weasley next to her.
Ginny's eyes peered at her with a shocked look that earned a cautious look being returned to her. "You did go home with him, correct?" Hermione corrected herself.
"Oh, yes, yes I did," Ginny blushed.
"Okay so it was good then," Hermione laughed in return.
The conversation ended there as the group moved towards the table to have Christmas breakfast. Hermione opted to sit beside Harry at the table and gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek as she sat down him, producing a smile on her face as she hit the base of the chair.
"Happy Christmas, Harry," she smiled at him.
"Happy Christmas, Hermione," he returned.
Dishes were passed around and everyone continued with idle chatter around the table. Ron had told everyone that he and Harry were going to meet a child tomorrow, a child that they were both excited to meet. She was a young orphan from a family that had been killed in a mysterious attack two years ago and until last week she hadn't spoken a word to anyone. Harry understood her pain on a visceral level which is why he was looking forward to meeting her, but Ron explained that it was just exciting that they were moving in a step forwards towards their desired final attention. Arthur and Molly weren't capable of containing their excitement even over the prospect of having a grandchild – whereas Ginny, George, and Percy muttered under their breath that they needed to stop putting pressure on them. Hermione smiled as the scene unfolded, being reminded of how happy she was to be back in the family setting she so dearly missed.
"When are you planning on starting to go on dates, dear?" Molly turned her attention to Hermione who was in the middle of swallowing a barely chewed piece of bacon, causing her to cough at the question.
"Mum!" Ginny chastised.
"What Ginerva? You're dating that Nott boy, George is with Angelina, Percy is incorrigible and will never marry, Bill and Fleur are enjoying their time being married and Charles is somewhere doing god knows what with god knows who – speaking of missing members which were is he, Theo?" She asked.
"Theo is with," she paused for a moment considering her words. "He's with family," she gave a singular look at Molly that told her to drop the subject of Theo.
"Fine, Fine," Molly turned to Hermione. "I don't mean to be insensitive sweets, I just want you to be as happy as my other children," she smiled.
"I appreciate that, Molly," Hermione started. "I am happy by myself, but I have realized that I should start to date again, that was my plan," she smiled back at her.
"Oh very good!" Molly clapped her hands together and went back to her plate.
"Really?" Ginny whisper shouted.
"Yes, I mean, why not, I'm not getting any younger," Hermione smiled and took a sip of her beverage.
Ginny nodded her head continuously, humming to herself before getting back to her food and zoning off into the distance. Hermione elected to ask her about her peculiar behavior later instead to focus on the day she was having with the people she loved.
~ ~
"Happy Christmas, brother," Theo shoved the door open to Draco's room with a smile on his face before turning away leaving Draco to look at the air.
"Happy Christmas," Draco gave a brief hint of a smile as he put the shirt over his scarred torso quickly.
The two of them over the past six years had opted for a semi-traditional Christmas celebration. This included the experience of Christmas breakfast and dinner and one gift to exchange. Neither of them necessarily needed new possessions every year, but it was the process of going back and forth that made something so traditional like Christmas, more celebrated and unique to their lifestyles. There were no grand feasts, but simple items that they had both come accustomed to eating every year. They gave the house elves the day off and favored an approach that only involved the food being warmed up after it was pre-prepared.
The sun is out today Draco noted, realizing the past few days he's been discretely attuned to the weather around him. He had gone to her store every day since he had left the first flower, putting a new one in between the door and the frame. He had noticed she hadn't been around since he had now accumulated a few flowers in the door instead of going back once being gone. He figured that he should stay away today – have the day with Theo like they always did and continue with their traditions. But the smallest voice inside of his head chimed in and said that the sun is out meant he should go back.
"Are you going to come downstairs or what?" Theo hollered up the stairs.
Draco rolled his eyes and muttered under his breath about how Theo needed to relax but still made his way downstairs. The sound of his steps followed his path to the living room which was adorned with a larger-than-life tree that was littered with aesthetically pleasing white, gold, and silver bobbles as well as white lights. Sat underneath on separate sides of the tree were the singular gifts from either of them to each other.
Theo's bright smile lit the room up more than the sun already had, making Draco realize how much he appreciated the home he lived in with Theo. Their little brotherhood family seemed as if it was going to be impossible to navigate when he was released from Azkaban but he fit right in. He never went back to live with his mother, besides the fact that she had been so impossible when she found out his sentence – he still felt the need to distance himself from those around him out of the selfish intent of being anonymous still. He sent her a gift every year though, a gift that he always struggled to pick out but eventually figured out the right course of action.
"Gifts? Food?" Theo looked at him, looking back and forth between the presents on the ground and the kitchen in the other room.
"Let me warm the food up and then we can do both at the same time," Draco reasoned with him earning a smile from his best friend.
He was quick with his movements, setting a warming charm on the plates and making tea for them at the same time. As he levitated the plates to the living room with him, Theo sat on the floor with his gift in his hands. Draco rolled his eyes and sat down across from him as the food and drinks were gently lowered to the floor. He reached over and grabbed his gift for Theo and held it out for him to grab at the same time Theo mirrored his motions.
They both unwrapped their gifts at the same time to eliminate any awkward eyes watching them, as Draco's fingers made perfect ease of removing the wrapping paper and his eyes were met with what looked to be a picture frame with nothing inside of it. He gave a bewildered look at Theo who looked to be sobbing over the gift Draco had gotten him. It wasn't anything special – just a journal and a quill.
"Why are you crying?" he jested.
"How'd you know I was running out of space in my old one?" Theo questioned back.
"Theo," Draco started. "I know exactly how fucked up your brain is," he laughed. "You could use a whole library to get out some of the emotional trauma you've gone through…" he trailed off.
"Fuck you're right," Theo sighed.
"Why a picture frame?" Draco asked.
"It's charmed, Ginny got it from Grangers store," Theo started.
"From her store?" Draco looked down at the picture frame.
"It's charmed to put a picture inside of it with writing behind it, I think Ron was getting something for Harry like it… I figured you could eventually put something in there that reminded you about how far you've come," Theo smiled sadly.
It was Draco now who felt as if his eyes were welling up. That Theo, once again without the realization, had gotten him something that meant more than he could ever explain. He wished he had a picture for it, a picture that would speak a million words but would only need to be described as two 'my love'.
He pulled Theo into a hug that felt suffocating to his soul but also breathed life into it. They never really hugged, they never talked about emotions, not as if Theo didn't try – but it was Draco now that sought out affection.
"Thank you," Draco whispered while they were hugging.
Theos response was to give him another hug and to pull back and give him a faint smile. Draco knew what he was thinking, he always did. It was a combination of all of the years they'd spent together but also all of the trauma they had shared. They were familiar with the trials and tribulations of what happened during the war, but where Draco was left for the worst of it… Theo was saved from the trauma that Draco ensued due to his situation. Perhaps that's why he rarely talked about everything to him because he wanted to spare him the possibility of knowing what he went through.
"I invited Blaise and Pansy over for dinner, but they're going to be here shortly," Theo blurted out half expecting Draco to get angry.
"Okay," he said softly still holding the picture frame.
Theo gave him a nod and pat his shoulder before standing up and taking the discarded food plates that they had picked away and bringing them to the kitchen. Draco was happy that Blaise and Pansy would be coming over – he missed his friends. He was happy that it wasn't just him and Theo anymore, that he had gotten over the idea of being so alone for so long.
He joined Theo in the kitchen and helped prepare the place for their friends to see it. They cleaned the garbage from the wrapping paper and also the discarded food they didn't seem to finish. Their cleaning was interrupted by Blaise's booming voice coming out of the floo and Pansy chastising him.
"It's in the middle of the afternoon Pans, they'll be awake," Draco could hear the smile in Blaise's voice.
"What if he kicks us out of his life again," Pansy whispered chastising him.
"I could never do that to you guys again," Draco appeared in front of them only to watch their smiles widen before Pansy ran and hugged her.
"Hello little flower," he murmured into her hair.
"I missed you," she whispered back.
"I know," he said as he pulled back and smiled at her.
"Give me a fucking hug, Draco," Blaise scolded before pulling him into a hug.
"Hey mate," Draco gave him an equally as big hug back.
Both of them looked happy, Draco noted. Theo had told him about their wedding when he was released from his sentence and the melancholy that came from missing out on the moment was something that he couldn't describe. He internally knew that they would be the first to get married but his hope to be the one to beat them to it was squashed flat when he realized he was giving that up out of selfish reasons to not feel like an utter mistake of a human.
"How have you guys been?" Draco asked as he took their coats and hung them up.
"We've been good, haven't we Pans?" Blaise smiled, something mischievous in his eyes.
"Yes we have," she squeezed his hand.
Draco nodded to them as Theo came around and placed a tray of hors d'oeuvres on the island countertop for everyone to enjoy. Their first meeting went more along the lines of yelling and insulting one another for keeping himself out of their lives for so long. They talked about their wedding and how Draco missed Blaise being blackout drunk on vintage wine from France which was supposed to be a wedding gift from his family but he opened it early. He learned about how Pansy was good for Blaise, how she weirdly calmed down his energy especially when Blaise would be the last person on earth to calm down. He learned about how Pansy found domestic life easy, though they didn't have kids she spent most of her time tending to their home and shopping. He learned that even as domestic as she was being she still had time to start her fashion brand. Blaise had started a business collecting and selling fine and rare wines – realizing that his palette had gotten better throughout the years when he started enjoying the wines instead of just drinking them for fun.
As the night drew on Draco warmed up the dinner and set the table together while the three remaining friends continued their conversation. He grabbed a vintage cabernet from Theo's wine cabinet and filled the four glasses. He hollered that everything was ready and the group filed in with a smile on their faces.
"Enjoy," Draco said as he sat down at the table with everyone.
"Thank you for inviting us," Pansy smiled at him.
"Thank you for coming," Theo smiled back.
"Cheers," Draco lifted his glass waiting for everyone to follow suit.
"Actually…" Blaise trailed off his eyes flickering at his friends.
"I'm not drinking," Pansy looked down.
"Why?" Theo looked at her, clueless.
Theo was so fucking dumb sometimes Draco thought. He knew the second she walked in, her robes hanging off of her loosely. Not to mention the way Blaise had been checking over her when they came out of the floo.
"She's pregnant," Draco stated looking at her.
"How did you –" she started.
"I've known you my whole life," he began. "Neither of you is subtle," he smiled.
"We didn't want to tell anyone until a bit later on," Blaise noted.
"I'm happy for you," Draco smiled.
"Really?" Pansy looked hopeful.
"I will always be proud of anything you do, little flower," he smiled squeezing her hand.
"But I will be taking the rest of your wine this evening," he said reaching across the table and grabbing Pansy's wine.
Blaise spouted protest stating that he should have the wine since it's his wife which earned a stern look from Draco before he took one sip out of each glass and raised his eyebrows at his friend who seemingly conceded afterward.
"To Pansy and Blaise," Draco smiled raising both of his glasses.
"To the last people we thought would be parents!" Theo joyfully added.
"You fucking suck…" Blaise muttered but clinked his glasses with his friends while Pansy looked at everyone happily.
Chapter 14: xiii
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
On boxing day Hermione showed up to her store early in the morning only to notice a plethora of flowers lodged securely in the space between her door and the frame. She took them off, noticing that they were showing stages of decomposition in various stages and made a mental note that they weren't all placed there on the same day. She grabbed a coffee mug from her collection and cut the stems before placing them in the cup so they could be on display.
On December 27th there was another flower where the others had been. She cut the stem and joined it with its family members before continuing her day.
On December 28th, two more were in her door. She continued her routine of adding them to the cup, which now she transfigured into a vase to give them more space.
December 29th presented no flowers, she was slightly disappointed.
December 30th had two flowers and a note that wrote in writing she didn't recognize because there weren't any yesterday.
New Year's eve also ended without the mysterious appearance of any flowers, but she decided this was likely due to whoever was leaving them being busy during the holidays. She missed the flowers, but she was now in possession of a whole bouquet in her store.
~ ~
On the evening of boxing day he noticed the flowers were gone from the door indicating she had taken them inside, or threw them out. He placed another purple rose in the space between the door and the frame, putting his leather gloved hand on the window of the store as he peered in to see the flowers in a cup on her table. A smile formed on his features when he walked away from the window.
On the evening of December 27th he placed two there for in the morning. It was when he was there on the evening of December 27th that he whispered into the air of the night "I love you, I'm coming home."
December 28th presented difficulties when it came to placing the flowers on her door.
"She's freaking out about it, Draco," Theo paced back and forth in the kitchen.
"If you keep pacing you're going to create a draft, please stop and sit down so I can figure out what the hell you're going on about," Draco sighed.
Theo stopped and looked at him with an exasperated look on his face before sitting down beside him and letting out a long exhale. Theo had been saying "she's freaking out about it" for the past ten minutes without actually giving any indication as to who she is. He had an idea but he wanted Theo to spell it out for him. The youngest Weasley hadn't been back at the manor since they ran into one another that night when he had a panic attack.
"Ginny," Theo looked at him. "She's freaking out about you being alive," he sighed.
"Okay…" Draco looked at him, trying to see the point in Theo telling him.
"She wants to tell Hermione," Theo worded slowly.
"She will do no such thing, I told her not to," Draco bit out.
"I'm aware," his friend rolled his eyes at him. "I have told her the same thing over and over," he finished.
"But…" Draco started for him.
"But, I'm not sure how much longer she will keep her mouth shut. She's a spitfire, and she will only do as I say for so long," Theo sighed.
"That's an odd way of saying your girlfriend wears the pants," Draco chastised.
"Shut up, mate," Theo hit his shoulder.
"I'll tell her," Draco said empathetically.
"When? There's only so much longer I can hold her off," Theo looked at him.
"Soon," He promised.
On the evening of December 29th he brought two flowers this time, and a hand written note he charmed to change the legibility of his writing.
On the 30th he was busy preparing for his trip to visit his mother for New Year's Eve. He bid Theo goodbye that night knowing he wouldn't have time to give Hermione more flowers.
On New Year's Eve him and Narcissa discussed his re-entrance into society. He had admitted that isolating himself for so many years had started to affect how he saw himself in the eyes of others. How he was finally considering facing those demons he isolated within his mind. He wanted those who ridiculed him for the implications of his past actions to see and acknowledge all of the hard work he had put into rebuilding the wizarding world around him through his donations. He wanted the world to recognize how happy he wanted to be. Most importantly, he told Narcissa that he needed the love of his life back. She simply placed her hand on his before nodding her understanding.
He didn't stay late after the beginning of the new year, he used the floo network to go travel to Theo's and begin to rest in bed and welcome the morning and new year with a brand new perspective.
~ ~
Hermione put on her nicer gold dress for the evening. She had planned a dinner out with Harry, Ginny, Ron and Theo for New Year's Eve. She wanted all of them close to her while she was out and considering Ginny had been distant since Christmas morning she wanted a little bit more time around her in a group setting to see what was wrong. The two had been like sisters their whole life since starting at Hogwarts so the unusual behaviour was a red flag for Hermione.
They were all sat around a round table on their third glass of champagne when Hermione raised a toast.
"To all of you, my friends, my family, I am so excited to go into the next year with all of you by my side," she smiled at everyone at the table.
"Cheers!" Ron exclaimed as he hoisted his glass to the middle of the table and everyone else followed suit.
Ginny gave Hermione a smile as her glass touched hers and Hermione smiled back. A weighted feeling finally escaping her chest when the smile was met with equal vigour. Theo was next to stand up and raise his glass.
"Thank you to all of you for welcoming me into your small group this year, and thank you to Ronald here for not murdering me when I asked Ginerva to be my girlfriend the night of Hermione's party," he looked down at Ginny with a smirk.
Ron moaned and groaned at the memory of Theo asking her to be his girlfriend the night that they were all together. They had escaped her flat shortly after and she assumed she had celebrated.
"It makes me so happy to know that you two are happy," Hermione started. "You two deserve all the happiness in the –" she was about to finish.
"Draco is alive," Ginny blurts out.
The speech Hermione was about to complete comes to a halt with all eyes on Ginny. Hermione's face a perfect combination of confusion, bewilderment and shock, Theos face in a panic and Harry and Rom mimicking Hermione.
"What?" Hermione asks as if she heard her declaration wrong.
"Draco Malfoy is alive," Ginny starts, Theo beside her trying to tell her to stop.
Hermione's eyes flicker between Ginny and a stressed looking Theo before down at her wine and back at Ginny. A thousand different combinations of thoughts swirling through her mind as the sound of people getting ready to count down the last few minutes before midnight began.
"What?" Hermione whispers.
Two minutes until midnight.
"Draco is ali -" she starts
A minute and forty-five seconds until midnight.
"No I heard you the first two times," Hermione silences her by raising her hand.
A minute and thirty seconds until midnight.
"Okay good thank god," Ginny sighs, slouching in her seat.
A minute and ten seconds until midnight.
"I just don't understand," Hermione stated, confused.
One minute until midnight.
"I saw him at Theo's the night of your dinner party," she clarified.
Fifty seconds.
"So you saw him and you didn't tell me until now," Hermione spoke carefully.
Forty.
"He asked me to," Ginny replied.
Thirty five seconds.
"So my missing boyfriend of six years told you not to tell me he's alive and living at Theo's manor?" Hermione clarified.
Ten seconds.
"Yes!" Ginny exclaimed.
3.
A breath from Hermione.
2.
An exhale from Ginny.
1.
"You're one fucking bitch." Hermione spoke purposefully, venom lacing her tone.
The new year's cheers around her erupted with everyone pulling in their significant others, but their table sat in shock as Hermione stared at Ginny. The words she had just said hung in the air like a dark cloud over the group and though she could hear Theo in the background urging her to listen to his girlfriend and that there's more to the story besides the few words she had just muttered. Hermione was still staring as Theo pleaded to her from beside Ginny, her eyes moving to look at him before her head followed their path.
"Would you like to clarify then?" She said in an ominous tone.
"He's at my manor," Theo said slowly.
There it was, the knife stuck in her chest, twisting and turning in her heart; then Theo spoke again.
"He wanted to be the one to tell you," he said looking at her in the eyes.
"How long," she whispered.
She didn't want to know the answer, she didn't want to hear how long he's been in that manor, close to her and not said a single word.
"Six years," he whispered back.
She stood up from the table abruptly, walking away with force. Her friends calling after her as she made her way out of the restaurant and down the busy streets of Diagon Alley. Everyone was now trailing behind her, she could hear the shouts of Theo and Ginny telling her to calm down and she could hear Ron and Harry retorting for her and telling them she wouldn't calm down. Her legs picked up speed and she trailed away from them, anger coursing through her veins. She had every right to be pissed off, six fucking years of pain and reverence only for him to be as close as he was.
In her rage filled state she found herself at the front step of Theo's manor, she couldn't even remember how she got here or how she even remembered the path. The last time she had been here was when Draco was still in Azkaban and she kept Theo company. They had always found comfort in talking to one another about how they missed him, it made the experience easier to manage.
She no longer held the reverence standing at the doorstep of this home. Her fists pounded on the door, not letting up. It seemed like minutes of her banging on the door, long enough for the group to catch up to her, screaming her name.
"You need to calm down!" Theo roared at her.
She gave him a glare and continued her rapture to the door.
"Christ Theo are you so drunk that you forgot how to use the fucking floo?" Draco's voice came from around the door as it swung open revealing her.
Everything came to a halt around them, their friends, the time, their breath. It was finally just them looking at one another. She could hear the mumbled sounds of Theo apologizing to Draco as they continued to have their eyes locked with one another. The noise seemed so inconsistent with the way she could only hear the ringing of rage in her ears. She wanted to kiss him, she wanted to run into his arms and tell him how much she missed him. But the next thing she knew she was swinging at his chest screaming at him.
"Six years?! Six fucking years you've been here. You didn't even say hi! What kind of coward are you Draco Malfoy. I loved you with my entire heart and you have been here for six years?! You've been so close and yet you didn't say anything?! Fuck you Draco, fuck you!" She screamed hitting his chest as he walked backwards so they were now filing into the house.
"I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you," she mumbled as she continued her assault slowly growing tired as her tears began to let up.
Everyone was around her now and he hadn't said a word, he was just letting her hit him. Shock written all over his face as she stared at him with blinding agony and rage filling her gaze.
"Herm-" He started to say before she slapped her hand across his cheek.
"Don't say my name," she hissed.
She turned her body to her best friends, the two men who had been there throughout her entire life and spoke to them and only them.
"Take me home," she worded as Theo, Ginny and Draco started to speak simultaneously.
"Don't speak to me, either of you, don't look at me, don't speak to me, don't even consider coming near me. To me, you are all dead. Especially you," she looked straight at Draco. "Six years was enough for you to finally start thinking about coming around? How about you consider not coming around at all," she finished before turning around and walking out with Harry and Ron.