January…
Hermione isolated herself in her store, only going through the motions to ensure that revenue was made. When the day was over she went home and back to sleep.
~ ~
Draco hasn't left his room since the night Hermione showed up at his doorstep, retreating into his emotions more than he thought he could. In January he started to drink again.
Chapter 16: xv
Chapter Text
(xv)
February…
Draco hasn't eaten anything except for one meal a day forced upon him by Nimkey, Theo's house elf. He has reverted to the way he was when he came from Azkaban emotionally.
~ ~
Ron and Harry came by in February to ensure that Hermione was okay. She didn't let them in, she had started drinking in February and masked it from the world.
Chapter 17: xvi
Notes:
the next chapters visit our hero and heroines life again
Chapter Text
(xvi)
March…
Harry came alone this time. Hermione let him in. He gave her a bath and washed her hair while she sat there, frail from not eating and a ghost to the world. He told her he loved her and that he would always be there for her.
~ ~
Draco was woken up by Theo pouring water over his body. He was passed out on the floor of the bathroom. Theo took every bottle of alcohol and potions out of his reach and put Draco through a detox. Draco screamed every day of March from the pain of addiction and the pain of loss.
Chapter 18: xvii
Notes:
TW substance abuse and talks of suicide *
aside from that, here's the stuff we've been waiting for 3
Chapter Text
(xvii)
On the morning of April 1 st Draco made his way out of the manor. According to Theo and his mother, enough was enough, and if he were to ever get out of the slump he found himself in – he would leave the manor immediately and do something useful with his day. It went against his desire to leave the manor, but it went with his sanity to do what they had told him.
He was incoherent as he grabbed another bottle of scotch from the cabinet. Theo thought he was smart by hiding the liquor in the manor but Draco knew where he would put them… he found the reserve bottles in the hidden spaces earlier in the evening when Theo was gone with Ginny. He wasn't aware of his surroundings as he stumbled back and forth from his room to where the alcohol was kept. He enjoyed the weightless feeling he was experiencing. Like he was floating through life with no consequences for his actions.
Her words haunted him every night: "What kind of coward are you Draco Malfoy? I loved you with my entire heart and you have been here for six years?! You've been so close and yet you didn't say anything?! Fuck you Draco, fuck you!" He was a coward. He was a coward right now for drinking his life away. He didn't deserve to be here, he didn't deserve to fight for her. Only a coward would hide from the love of his life for that long and expect to be welcomed back with open arms.
"Brother…" he could hear Theo come up behind him and put his arm on his back.
Draco swung around and swatted his hand out of the way to be greeted by the concerned look from Theo and the appalled look from Ginerva Weasley.
"Oh look, it's the two twats that thought they should open their big fucking mouths," Draco slurred.
"Are you happy now Ginerva?" he drawled out the last of her name. "She doesn't want me, you got what you wanted," he took a long swig.
"That's not what I wanted," she whispered looking at him.
"Well, it's what you fucking got!" He screamed. "She hates me! She said it herself! Six fucking times!" he continued his screaming as he stalked closer to her, his eyes piercing into her soul.
A whispered 'mate' came from Theo who tried to move him to sit down and offer him some water, but Draco protested by yelling and stumbling away from him and outside into the night. He could hear them arguing back and forth about what to do regarding his situation but Draco didn't care. He breathed in the air of the night and started to cry.
He was such a pathetic excuse for a human. He hypothesized, no, he knew, that this world would be better off without him in it. He downed the bottle of scotch in his hands and threw it against the stone of the terrace. A scream of agony erupted from his soul as he broke down. The wails consisted of profanities and begging into the void of the night to take it all back, to take the past six years of isolation away and he would be better, he would go to her first after his sentence was over.
In his perfect re-telling of his story, he would've gotten out, found her straight away and walked into that perfectly beautiful home of hers, and kissed her. Told her that he loved her and that the two years of torment, of being beaten, scarred, and manipulated were worth it just so he could see her smile again. To feel her body against his as he enveloped his arms around her and wouldn't let go. He needed his safety, he needed his sanctuary, he needed his Hermione. He thought he was strong for staying away, but it was him being weak and pathetic.
"Make it stop!" he screamed into the world.
"Make it stop, make it stop, make it stop, make it stop, make it stop, I'll be better please make it stop," he chanted incessantly as he fell to the ground hugging his body into a fetal position.
He faintly heard the door to the terrace open and footsteps rushing out and arms wrapping around his body. The familiar outline of his best friend, his literal brother holding him as he clutched his body and sobbed.
"Make it stop, Theo," he cried.
"Shh, it's going to be okay brother," Theo rocked him back and forth.
"Please make it stop, please make it stop, please make it stop," he wailed in pain.
They sat out in the dark rocking back and forth until the sun came out and Draco's wails had turned into silent sobs as he sobered up and felt every last molecule of pain eating at him dissipate. He felt as if the sun coming up from the horizon soaking him and Theo in its golden hue was the world telling him that everything would be okay. That the world heard his pleas into the night and he would eventually find the peace he wanted from his situation.
"Where's Ginny?" Draco said quietly.
"She's inside sleeping on the couch," Theo motioned his head to where Draco could see a peaceful-looking Ginny asleep on Theo's couch.
"She didn't have to stay," Draco mumbled.
"She insisted on it," Theo responded.
"Why?" he questioned.
"Because she said when Hermione tried to drink herself into oblivion six years ago she wasn't there to find her. She told me she blames herself every day that she wasn't with her brother and Harry to take care of her," he said solemnly.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Draco said with shock.
"I didn't know until last night," Theo responded.
He felt guilty, six years ago she tried to end her life which would've correlated to his lack of courage to go and see her. His agony returned but in less of a way that he felt like he wouldn't move on with his life because of the pain. Instead, he felt as if he finally had the courage to move forward.
~ ~
There was certain ease that came out of finding your ground again when you were at rock bottom. She had done it before which was likely the reason why she was able to come around much easier than the time before. Yes, there was excessive alcoholism, and yes, there was a lack of food entering her body. But after a long, hard chat with Harry the day he came and bathed her she realized the longer she fermented in her sorrow – the longer it would keep a hold on her. She was reminded of the progress she made when she was dragged to her mind healer, and she was reminded of the tools she had in her arsenal that would aid in her recovery. The one thing she hadn't expected from her healer was the recommendation to address the topic head-on.
"So you were rageful with the fact that he left you and didn't say goodbye, is that correct?" said her healer.
"I suppose you could say that," she replied.
"What do you mean by that statement?" her healer replied.
"I suppose I didn't think my emotions through," Hermione took a breath. "I suppose when I found out because he wasn't the one to tell me I was spiteful. I figured that we had this strong bond that when he would eventually show up it would be like no time had passed. But when I found out the only thing I could think about was screaming at him for his cowardness. I mean, I believe that any significant other who went through periods of transformation while their loved one was living peacefully nearby would be upset…" said Hermione before her healer cut her off.
"I would be upset," said her healer.
"Precisely, so I showed up at Theo's manor and screamed at him. In hindsight, I could've said nicer things but in reality, I didn't want to. I believed that he deserved to be hurt the way I hurt for all those years," a spiteful tone escaped Hermione in her speech.
"Miss Granger," her healer started. "Do you ever consider the toll that Azkaban has on its inhabitants?" she finished.
"It's torture," Hermione deadpanned.
"It's not just torturing Miss Granger," her healer started. "It's the most unimaginable form of exile and hell that we have created. It's meant to not only, pardon my French, but it's meant not only to fuck with the prisoner mentally but also emotionally and physically. The prisoner is meant to feel like they're trapped in an eternal loop from hell. They're not meant to come out of there the same person they came in as. Perhaps there's more to the reason why Mr. Malfoy did not come back to you right away. I am in no way negating your emotions and the way you dealt with them towards him however I would just like to shed some light on the fact that everyone has a different experience in that hell hole and not everyone comes out unscathed. I don't doubt that you will come to your own conclusions about his situation but all I am asking is that you remain mindful. I have worked with many post-convicts and their recovery isn't linear it is very much a scatterplot of sorts," her healer finished, sipping her tea.
This left Hermione's mind reeling more than she cared to admit. She selfishly never considered the after impacts of being in Azkaban for Draco. Mostly because it was hard for her to admit to herself that she still cared for him after everything he did to those around her. That being in love with him through his darkness meant that she was as dark as he was and in some aspects that scared her. They were two different sides of the same roughed-up coin and that terrified her. She had fallen in love with his darkness just as much as she had his light and when they were both gone from her physically they manifested themselves in her emotionally.
"Ready to go?" Harry's soft tone met her lingering gaze as she stared at her frail frame in the mirror.
"Yes," she smiled.
Over the past few months, she had missed some of the most significant moments in her friends' lives. They adopted a little girl, Lilium Potter-Weasley, a bright-eyed eight-year-old orphaned pure-blood whose parents died shortly after the Wizarding War was over in a freak terrorist accident and had grown up in the orphanage. She was the first little girl that the two of them had met and Harry fell in love immediately. Ron on the other hand wanted to 'meet other options' which Harry shut down the instant it came out of his mouth.
They adopted her shortly after meeting her. As in, the orphanage went through all of their credentials, visited their house, and did evaluations of both of them in separate rooms to confirm they would be sufficient parents to little Lilium. The first day she was at their home Harry told Hermione that she cried all day and night. So much crying that Ron had rolled over in bed and looked Harry dead in the eye and said "we should've just gotten an infant if it's going to be this way." Harry was the one to console Lili – as he now affectionately called her, they talked about how she was sad she wasn't at the orphanage anymore. She told Harry it felt like home. He said this, their house would never place her feeling of home she had there, but he hoped that she would find a new reason to call this one her house.
As Harry and Hermione made their way down the streets before they apparated closer to his and Ron's home. Hermione's nerves felt as if they were winding up through her body and making their exit through her mouth via bile. She quickly rushed to the side of the road and grabbed her hair into her hands before she threw up behind a budding bush. Harry ran to her side and grabbed her hair while running a hand over her knit sweater-covered back.
"You good?" he chuckled.
"Yeah," said Hermione throwing up.
She finished and pat down her hair before grabbing a piece of gum and ferociously chewing it. As her stomach calmed down they appeared at the front of the door and Harry gave her one last look before he opened the door and announced their presence. The house was full of the Weasley family as well as their significant others. Harry told Hermione he had figured she would be more relaxed if there was less attention on her for the time being. She nodded her appreciation and made her way over to Ron who was holding onto Lilium's hands and talking to Molly.
"Ron," she beamed and kissed his cheek.
"'mione!" He exclaimed while pulling her into a side hug.
"Who is this?" she smiled down at Lilium before getting down to her level.
"Lilium," the small voice came from their daughter.
"Hi Lilium, I'm Hermione," she gave her hand to the little girl who looked up at Ron who gave her a nod.
Liliums hand fit into Hermione's as she gave it a small shake. Hermione beamed at the little girl noticing her piercing green eyes and dark brown hair.
"You're very pretty," said Lilium.
"So are you," Hermione smiled at the little girl.
"Do you want to show 'mione around Lili?" Harry's voice came from behind them.
A giant smile came from the little girl and she practically dragged Hermione away from the group of people and around their house. She took the most time in her toy room, showing her the new dolls that the boys had bought her, the dollhouse that 'auntie Ginny' had gotten her. She asked Hermione what her favorite toy was and Hermione told her about the doll house she had as a child with a smile, reminiscing on the Christmas her parents had gotten it for her. She was so excited that year to play with it that she practically put it together immediately and played all night. Lili loved the story and asked her if she wanted to play with her doll house with her. Hermione told her she would be glad to play another time which caused a grin to erupt across Lili's face.
They walked around the house and she saw Lili's room which was painted a lilac purple with a canopy bed placed in the middle which was adorned with small stuffed animals. Hermione smiled thinking about how Ron and Harry would have gone mad making her room feel like home for her. She knew her best friends would be the best parents for this little ray of sunshine and she was so proud that she was a part of their home. Hermione's thoughts were stolen away from her as Lili ran away and exclaimed in excitement about the new arrivals at the house.
Hermione walked around to get a view of the front door to see Ginny and Theo greeting Lili. She knew they would be there, she would've been an idiot to think they wouldn't show up… they were Lili's family. She had successfully avoided them for the months of January through March and yet the feeling of betrayal never left. The redhead made eye contact with Hermione and gave her a smile which was returned with a blank stare. Theo noticed their staring at one another and motioned for them to go up to Hermione. Hermione stood in her place as they made their way in front of her and waited for the respective group to say their first words.
"Ginny," Hermione looked at her in angst.
"Hermione, can we please just talk," a plea came from Ginny.
"No," she said pointedly.
"Hermione, please –" Theo's voice came from beside Ginny.
"Theo, what a pleasure to see you here again," sarcasm laced her tone.
"Please just listen to what she has to say," Theo pleaded again.
"I'd actually prefer if I didn't listen to anything that either of you had to say to me for the foreseeable future," Hermione turned away from the two of them.
"It's been three months!" Theo called out exasperated.
"You kept him there under my nose for six years, Theo, do you honestly expect me to listen to a single second of you detailing your reasoning to me? No," she snapped.
The conversation was her cue to leave. She didn't want to be in the same area as them for longer than she had to be. It wasn't that she didn't forgive them, she would've done the same thing. But she would've recognized the pain that Theo saw and maybe would have urged Draco to talk to Hermione. She found her way toward Harry, Ron, and Lili before giving them all a hug.
"Thank you for having me," she smiled as she gave them their hugs.
"Goodbye Lili," she said as she lowered herself and looked at the little girl who jumped into her arms.
"Goodbye miss Hermione," she smiled as she let go of Hermione.
She muttered her goodbyes to everyone else before giving Ginny and Theo one last look while she made her way out of the house. The warm spring air greeted her as she apparated closer to her store before going in. She kept the sign turned closed but she turned on all the lights and putted around as the sun disappeared over the roofs around her.
~ ~
So he didn't actually do anything pertaining to returning to society today. He walked around Diagon Alley for hours on end instead of going to the ministry to reinstate his name into society. The thing is, it wasn't as if he would've been erased completely but he went under an alias for so long, he wanted to ensure that everything transferred back to his name instead of the account Theo created for him. As the sun drew closer to the horizon he made his way back through the streets and found himself looking at the twinkling lights of Hermione's store.
Every time he would walk down here in the evening and the store was closed he found the lights off. Today was an exception. So as he peered into the store and looked at the way it was decorated he saw her rummaging around removing books and moving them to a new spot. She looked thin, like she wasn't eating, something he felt comradery in the fact they were going through something similar together.
He stood there staring at her in awe of the way she looked studying her shop. Both of their attentions caught each other when she moved around to grab a new book. His eyes studied hers as he felt as if he couldn't breathe when her golden hues looked into his ice blue. The world seemed to close around them as she looked to the shelf next to her and placed the book down, making her way towards the door that he stood behind.
When she stood in front of him, the only barrier being the glass of the door, he felt suffocated finally. There was no more oxygen in his lungs as she unlocked the door and opened it. The length of time it took for her to open the door and for it to be fully open felt like decades. The world seemed to slow down to seconds passing in the same equivalent of hours but as the door stood wide open and her body facing his, he felt like his world had come full circle.
"Hi," she said quietly.
"Hi," came Draco's reply.
~ ~
She didn't expect to see him, lord she didn't think she wouldn't want to see him until she saw his ghostly figure staring at her from outside of her store. She didn't even hesitate in her thoughts to open the door, she wanted to see him, she wanted to apologize for the way she reacted without thinking about the ways in which his life was impacted by what he went through. In retrospect, that mind healer was really doing her damn job well. She had influenced Hermione to think critically, besides Theo and Ginny, she wasn't really willing to think critically of them yet.
It was when she heard his voice for the first time that she felt the weight of her decisions crashing down. He sounded exhausted, alone, ghostly. She wanted to wrap him in her arms and tell him that she was sorry for the way she acted and that she would never react impulsively like that ever again. She wouldn't apologize for her reactions though… it was something he taught her years ago.
"Would you like to come in?" she gestured to the open store.
"Do you want me to?" he asked, nervous.
A moment's pause from Hermione brought her eventual answer, "yes."
He moved in front of Hermione, and the smell of pine graced her senses as he moved past. Gods I've missed you, she thought internally. She shut the door and locked it so no one would attempt to walk in and would be met with it being open. They stood nervously across from one another, his eyes scanned the store and hers stared at him. He was here, he was tangible, he was alive, and he was staring at their store, the one they created in their dreams.
"You did it," his voice came from beside her.
"I did," she said with a smile.
"It looks like you," he laughed.
"How can a store possibly look like a person?" she joked back.
His laugh boomed through the store as he looked down at her, his silver irises catching her golden ones.
"You're real," she blurted out.
"I am," he said turning to her.
"You're real and you're here," she said quietly.
"I'm real and I'm here," he repeated.
She closed her eyes and felt his closeness in the atmosphere. The shift of his feet towards her body as her eyes remained shut. The hairs on her arms stood up as his fingers ghosted up them on his way to pushing her hair out her face. Her breath caught as his fingers ran down the crease of her neck, settling at the base so that the tips were at her spine.
"Please," she whispered.
"Please what?" he responded.
"Please," she pleaded.
"Use your words, Hermione," he responded, his voice dusting at her ear.
"Kiss me," she said.
There was a fraction of hesitation in his spot near hers before his lips gently dusted hers. The feeling of him coming home in the most sincere way possible. Like his kiss was a promise that she had been wanting to hear from him for six years. The kiss remained as it was, with zero sense of urgency, just his lips against hers. She was the first to pull away, looking up at his figure and bending down towards her figure before his hand slipped away from her body.
"Would you like to see the store?" she asked with a smile.
"I would love to," he replied following behind her quietly.
Chapter 19: xix
Summary:
It's a long boy, I hope ya'll have fun 3
Chapter Text
(xix)
There were very few moments in her life that Hermione considered to be inciting incidents. One was when she got her Hogwarts letter, the second was when Draco Malfoy kissed her in the broom closet, but the last, the last was when he invertedly told her that he loved her.
6 th year, in the broom closet:
His lips landed on her and the explosion in her brain could only be described as a kaleidoscope of colours that imitated the plethora of feelings she felt. It started as electricity tingles on her lips that moved through the core of her body all the way to her feet. The next was shock and excitement, she felt as if she was going insane following him around the damned castle to the point that she was dreaming about him. He haunted her mind in the most intimate way. The next was anger, she couldn't believe he was crushing her mouth with his in the most delectable way possible her first instinct was to shove him away and run in the opposite direction, leaving him with only his thoughts and not her body.
She left that broom closet and ran to the nearest alcove trying to get her breathing in check. Her mind a spinning top that wasn't permitted to stop couldn't comprehend the way she enjoyed his lips on hers. She had meant to be talking to him to find out information for Harry, but as time went on she knew she was sucked into the enigma that Malfoy represented.
Tucked deep in the alcove, Hermione closed her eyes and leaned back against the stone of the wall. Her impulse control was gone, she wanted to do everything all at once, but her brain narrowed in on the one thing she most definitely did not want to do. But as her feet moved her from her spot and she rounded the corner retreating her steps she found herself back at the broom closet opening the door to reveal a distraught-looking Malfoy.
"Shut up," the words came out of her mouth before he could even utter a syllable of anything he was thinking of saying.
Her lips descended on his in a frenzied attack. His hands flew to her face and held her in her place as he kissed her back tentatively. Their lips danced in an intimate waltz while her hands clung to his robes, unable to trust herself with her actions at this moment. His lips were soft, softer than she wanted to admit, they were an inviting cushion to hers a drug that slipped into her veins and coursed through her at an alarming rate.
"Granger," a guttural groan came from Malfoy's lips.
"I told you to shut up," she mumbled back.
He pulled back momentarily, a smirk playing at his lips before she rolled her eyes and used her right hand to slip behind his head and pull his lips to hers once more.
~
Draco Malfoy fell in love with Hermione's mind first. Then her personality, and then her beauty.
When he kissed her in the broom closet he learned one of two things about himself. The first he had already known, he was impulsive and didn't properly think things through when it came to his actions. The second, however, was that when his lips touched hers, life bloomed back into his soul and he couldn't exist wholly without her in it. The whole experience felt as if oxygen had finally been breathed into his lungs. Like he was drowning and suddenly he was able to breathe again. Then when she had pushed him away and ran out of the room, the light, the air, and the natural essence of his world had dimmed away into the background of his life.
It was when she came back and kissed him with the ferocity of the lion she represented that he swore from then on, he would do anything for that woman.
6 th year, in an alcove:
His lips danced with hers once more, they had been doing this for weeks. He would grasp her hand whilst she walked down the halls alone and pulled her body flush with his and kissed her like she was the oxygen he needed to breathe. His dreams were now plagued with her, the feeling of that mess of curls running through his fingers. The feeling of her lips and the sound of her soft whimpers as he pulled her body into his. He was ever frequently waking up with his cock straining against the fabric of his pyjamas.
"Granger," he moaned into her mouth.
"What did I tell you Malfoy?" she looked up at him. "You can't be moaning my name in these alcoves," she scolded.
"What about when I think of you in the shower in the morning?" he smirked at the suggestion.
Her mouth fell open in shock and she smacked his arm at the vulgarity of his comment. She went to move out of the alcove but his hand caught her wrist and pulled her in once more for a chaste kiss before letting her go and loving the scene of watching her leave.
Their chaste kisses turned into fleeting moments of passion when no one was around. But it was when they were truly alone in the castle when the night blanketed the world with its calm nature that the two of them found themselves enthralled in their intimacy.
~ ~
She never really pictured how her first time would happen. She consistently considered that it would be with Ron since they had grown close. But it was when she once tried to kiss him she realized he did not in the slightest, fancy her. She gave up on the potential possibility of him being the one to experience the moment with.
The last person she considered the possibility of the candidate was Draco Malfoy. But as their frequent moments continued their upward trajectory in the passion she couldn't imagine anyone else being the person to be there with.
6 th year, the room of requirement:
"Are you sure?" the concern laced Malfoy's tone.
"Yes," she whispered as she proceeded to undo his robes as his hands shook when he tried to touch her.
It seemed like he was afraid to break her, that doing this would undoubtedly harm her in some regard. But as he gently laid her down on the bed that had presented itself upon their entering, the nerves in her stomach camouflaged as butterflies. He had insisted that the light remained on, that he could see her so he would ensure he couldn't possibly hurt her.
"You are so beautiful to me," he whispered as he kissed her.
It was a kiss that promised everything but also nothing at the same time. It was simply him, and her, it was them joining for the first time and a promise of eternity erupted from the chaos that was about to come to their lives.
~ ~
The first time he told her he loved her he didn't even mean to do it.
The Horcrux hunt, somewhere in the woods:
"Honestly Hermione, get him going, he's being so lazy and he hasn't even figured out the other Horcruxes," Malfoy dragged his hands through his increasingly messy hair.
"What did you just say?" she looked at him with wide eyes.
"I said, you need to get Potter moving Hermione, he's absolutely useless in this fight if he doesn't destroy the Horcruxes," Malfoy rushed out again.
Realization melted upon her face as she looked at him with loving eyes, the exact opposite reaction to the current situation. He had apparated to where they were camping moments ago, storming to the front of her tent and calling her name into the void until she came out with a shocked look on her face.
"Say it again," she whispered.
"Seriously? Hermione, how could you not have heard me the first two times," he rolled his eyes.
"My name," she said simply.
It was at this moment that he realized he slipped up. That he didn't ever want to use her name unless it was when he was declaring his love for her. He wanted to wait for the right moment, that when he would tell her it would be after all the smoke cleared from the war and they were able to open that stupid little bookstore and have as many children as she so desperately wanted.
"Hermione," he whispered.
"Gods, say it again," she whispered back as if she knew what it meant also.
"Hermione –" he barely got the last part out before she crashed her lips against his.
"Draco," she whispered quietly as she kissed him tenderly.
"This isn't the right time," he started. "but I love you," he finished looking down at her.
"No…. really?" She mocked with a grin.
"So my girl is cocky today then, so that's why she hasn't urged Potter to do his only job," he joked looking at her.
"Shut up," she smiled and kissed him once more.
They had become entangled with one another after his confession, him muttering his affirmations to her as his lips trailed along the expanse of her body. She whispered her love to him as he entered her, slow and deliberate as if the war around them did not exist. It was in this moment that his life would've been complete. That he spent these moments of serenity in the arms of the witch he adored and loved. As if the chaos of their past, present, and potential future were abysmal to their current reality. Two enemies that somehow became lovers, who would cease to represent the possibilities of their potential future when the war would be over.
~ ~
She knew everything was too good to be true during the war. That their way of communicating back and forth, that stupid little book that the text disappeared to the corresponding mate would become a problem for them all. It was the only thing that connected her with Draco, though, and it wasn't as if she was using it to mark their location but she had a keen idea that when it came to him being able to find her at such a moment's notice – the book itself had to have been charmed to find it's mate.
She didn't blame him for what happened in his manor. She knew he couldn't do anything. She knew if he did something or fought back, he would jeopardize their future for short-term gain. She knew she had to suffer through the torture, that the scar on her arm would be a reminder of what they had to go through in order to save one another from their respective paths.
Malfoy Manor, in a hidden passageway:
"Please tell me you're alright," he fussed over her and she looked dazed at him.
He had been doing this for hours straight, trying to make sure she had been okay. Their meetings were fleeting, he would grab her and drag her to a secret part of the house where no one would find them and hope for the best.
"I'm fine, Draco," she whispered.
"Hermione…" he trailed off, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear causing her to flinch.
"It's okay, I'm fine, short-term pain for long-term pleasure right?" she looked up at him with glassy eyes.
She could see his heart shattering as he looked at her, the pain radiating between the two of them as if their souls were bound to understand one another. The invisible string between the two of them tugged back and forth no matter how close or how far they would be from one another. As if some fleeting magic would be able to explain the inexplicable draw they had to one another now.
"I love you," he whispered as he pulled her into him.
"Forever," she whispered back.
He held her close to him, her head tucked under his chin as his hands held onto her hair, smoothing it down as he kissed her forehead. This place was not safe for them, but she felt serenity for the first time during the war since he told her he loved her. She couldn't get enough of hearing those three words from him. Like his promise was his declaration and hers was her promise of forever.
She pulled back first and leaned up to kiss him tenderly.
"We're going to leave," she said against his lips.
"I know," he replied in a grim tone.
"I don't know how long it'll be until we see each other," she said kissing him deeply.
"Then let's give ourselves something to remember us by for now," he muttered as he lifted her up to wrap her legs around him.
In the darkness of the passageway, they feverishly tore as much of their clothes off and made frenzied haste when it came to bringing one another to their climax. Her facial expression represented pain from knowing they won't see each other but mixed with the pleasure he gave to her relentlessly. As they both finished and their foreheads were pressed to one another, breathing in a symphonic unison as their lips continued to mutter their love to one another.
"I love. You," she whispered once they had put themselves back together.
"Forever," he whispered back, kissing her one last time before she disappeared.
They had escaped shortly afterward, the timer to inevitable war was finally starting to run out.
~ ~
He missed her every single day, yet he continued to keep her in the secure back of his mind while his life was exposed to the worst parts that he could conjure together. He hadn't touched the book until this moment, he didn't want to jeopardize their mission… he knew the stakes at risk but as he opened the book up, he noticed he wasn't the first one to reach out.
I love you, forever. She had written.
The stars are clear tonight, I wish you were here. She wrote again.
Scorpius is fine for a boy… I guess. The second last thing she wrote.
Please be safe, I love you. I need you to be safe, Draco. I love you. Her most recent writing.
He grabbed the closest quill to him and scribbled down one word that he knew would make her breathe.
Forever. These were the last words he wrote in the journal.
Theo would end up coming and breaking him from his thoughts, bringing him back to the grim reality he was living in. They would do this together or not at all, the bond of brotherhood being enough to get Theo by without any real allegiance besides the one he held to Draco and Draco's allegiance being to those only who he considered being a part of his life, his heart, his soul.
~ ~
The battle made everyone to be a villain, and it was true, they all were in some sense. Hermione found herself fighting for a side that she believed in but she knew that not everyone carried the same sentiment. After months of constant struggle and pain she found that as they were fighting in the castle, as hexes and curses flew past her, all she wanted to do was to run away. To run away with him, wherever he was.
The Battle of Hogwarts:
Gods she missed him. She felt like the exhaustion from this entire journey had her hallucinating his spells, hallucinating his smell, and hallucinating seeing him running towards her as she stood in the middle of the hallway sending counter spells at those who tried to attack her. She and Ron did it, they destroyed the cup. They made it out, but now as everything was drawing to a close she did all that she could to simply make it out alive.
His body captured hers and they were pulled into an alcove, each of them panting as they looked at each other for the first time in months.
"You're alive," she breathed, placing her hands against his face and staring at him.
He was alive, he looked like he had new scars, he looked like he was exhausted but he was there, he was looking at her. A tangible person instead of the one who wrote 'forever' all those months ago.
"I love you," were the first words to leave his mouth.
She grabbed his face and pulled him down to her, her lips capturing his at a frenzied pace. She didn't know how long they had, she didn't know what would happen at the end of the day but all she could think about is if she was going to die today. If she was going to die here, she wasn't going to die without kissing the love of her life.
He was quick to respond, moulding his mouth to hers as he gripped her close to him. She could feel his hesitancy, understanding that this was probably the last kiss as well. Accepting that they both had a good run at being each other's soulmates even though they didn't inherently speak the words to one another. She knew he felt it too… the connection between them.
"I will always love you, Draco," she mumbled between kisses.
"Don't say that, you will live Hermione, I will make sure of it," he said holding his hands against her cheeks.
Gold eyes met ice blue and she started to cry. This was his goodbye, she felt it. He wiped away the tears that started to fall down her face as his own tears began to form at the base of his irises.
"You have to be brave for me, Hermione," he said in a whisper as she mimicked his actions and wiped the tears from his eyes.
"I have always been brave for you," she smiled as her tears flowed.
"I know," he trailed off. "Please be safe," he whispered.
"Draco," she choked. "Please," she pleaded.
"Hermione Granger," he began as he kissed her mouth slowly before standing back and grabbing her close to him.
His lips kissed every part of her head as his tears flowed down his face, a choked sob escaped the both of them as she clutched onto him
"In this lifetime and the next, for however long our souls remain," he began speaking, her heart breaking with every word that came from his lips. "mine will always find yours," he finished before pulling them out of the alcove and pushing her away.
He sent a curse to the wizard running up behind her. The slice of his magic narrowly missed her and she stood there, crying.
"I love you," he mouthed.
"Forever," she mouthed back.
~ ~
They had won, his side had lost. It was no shock to him as a result when he was placed before the Wizengamot to decide his fate at last. He didn't look at her when she was there, he looked at the ground even though it inherently killed him to not be able to look at his beautiful witch in the eyes. The knowledge of her voice was all he needed, all he had ever wanted when he left for Azkaban.
It made the torture easier, the constant reminder that she was alive was enough to keep him going. But at some point along the way, the reminder of her became a hindrance to his survival. He found himself living in the past too much when he eventually came to and realized his reality didn't have a home for him. He would go home, be ridiculed, and never be accepted again.
Azkaban, the last year of his sentence:
He had been lost in his thoughts today. Remembering her lips, her smell, the way her curves felt against his body as he joined himself with her. Now was not the time to get hard with the thought of her lips on his cock. He pleaded with himself to forget her voice. He pleaded with himself to forget every remaining aspect that his subconsciousness clung to every day of this sentence.
He told himself that forgetting her would be easier for the both of them. He considered the damn kiss from a dementor if it meant that she could live a life without the baggage that he would and will bring into it if she so continued to wait for him which he suspected she was.
He could still hear her pleading to the jury as he was sentenced to two years away. He could hear her pleas as she screamed into the abyss of the Wizengamot room that she would wait for him. That she would always love him. She placed a fucking target for discrimination against herself even though she was the fucking Golden Girl.
It was in his cell at Azkaban that he promised himself that when he would leave this hellhole he would leave and not return to her. He promised himself that he would let her move on with her life even if he didn't want her to do so at all. He promised himself he would do whatever he could with the family inheritance he could to make the world a better place for as long as he could anonymously.
He continued his promise to himself for six years, but in the sixth year when he saw her again, he threw away his plans of never going back to her. He let himself be selfish for once, he let himself go after the girl he loved. He went back on his promises to himself and upheld his promise to her.
~ ~
It had been a week since she kissed him again for the first time since he came back into her life. It had been a week since she felt like her life was back to normal… well, whatever normal was considered to be.
She had invited him back to her flat tonight for dinner tonight. She would finally let him see the world she created for herself. She would let him back into her life for good, in her home, the most intimate part of her.
As she rushed around her home, preparing a salad for the two of them to pair with the roasted pistachio salmon she had been cooking she felt as if the day was slipping away from her. She closed up the shop and rushed here in order to get everything half made for when he arrived. She gave him her address the day before as they kissed in the back stock room of her store. His hands slipped under her shirt, calloused and worn hands against her delicate skin.
A knock on the door interrupted her mind from slipping away to the thoughts of Draco Malfoy's lips trailing down her body as he unbuttoned her jeans and slipped them off her legs. He had put her dammed leg over her shoulder before slipping her mind into the abyss of his tongue on her core and the moans that filled the room. The thought slipped away again as another set of three knocks echoed in her flat.
"Coming," she called as she wiped her hands and walked towards the door.
Opening it revealed a casually dressed Malfoy holding a bottle of Chateau Lafite from 1869. She had only recognized the bottle from a detailed conversation years ago about Blaise's affinity for vintage wines when the two of them had been lying in bed together. At the time she couldn't understand how a student knew so much about vintage wines but she swept the thought under the rug.
"Hello," she smiled before gesturing for him to come in.
"Granger," he smiled.
She grabbed the bottle of wine that he held out for her and smiled, humming her appraisal of the choice. Once she placed it on the table she had set up for the two of them to eat she turned and looked at Draco, who had seemingly been taking in the view of her home. She smiled and walked up to him, slipping her arms around his waist and catching him off guard. He looked down to see her peering up at him. He had grown, a lot, Hermione noted.
"What did you cook?" his voice came out softly.
"Salmon baked with pistachios and a greens salad, the salmon has ten more minutes until it's finished" she smiled.
It was his turn to hum his appraisal, a gesture that made Hermione's nerves tingle from the base of her neck all the way to her toes.
"Would you like to see the place?" she smiled
Another hum from Draco was all she needed before she took off in front of him, gesturing to the quaint place she kept for herself. His only response when she showed
around were those little hums of approval, the longest one coming from him as they walked past her bedroom.
She was hyperaware of every movement he made, the way his scent filled her senses and made her mind foggy with desire. She had to get herself in check before she continued on with their evening – she did not want to jump him and scare him off. Though, by the way, he was constantly touching her she figured it wouldn't happen if she tried. The timer sounded in the distance and they made their way back to her kitchen area Draco took the duty to uncork the wine while she prepared the plates.
The dinner was quiet, but not in a way that made her anxious, a way that made her feel safe. They did talk about random facts about their new lives, she noted that she was the one with the most exciting developments whereas he remained mysterious about the fact that he spent the past years only donating to charities.
Somehow they had abandoned the kitchen table and moved to the floor of her living room.
"And then you pissed me off so much that I ran into the boy's lavatory to confront you," she laughed with him as they reminisced the memories of the past.
"That was the first time I really started to fancy you," he blurted out.
They had both looked at each other with heavy breaths from laughing which turned into breaths of longing for one another.
"What is happening here?" she said quietly.
"Whatever you want," he said sitting up, looking at her.
She placed her glass on the table and looked at him, assessing his movements as she appreciated the way his long legs were sprawled out, his button-down shirt unbuttoned from the first few buttons. He looked good, he always looked good.
"Say it," she said looking at him, leaning forward quietly.
His silence propelled her to repeat herself, more power in her tone this time, "say it, Draco," she looked at him.
"I want you back, Hermione," he leaned forward again, closer to her this time.
"Say it again," she replied, her eyes dancing from his lips to his eyes.
"I want you back," she heard him say as she leaned forward more, their faces getting closer. "Please," he said in a whisper.
"God you're so sexy when you beg for me," she smirked, confidence exuding from her body as an influence of the wine.
A guttural groan came from deep within him as he was the first to move forward, claiming her lips with his. She was quick to respond, moving her hands to behind his head, holding him in place as his hands gripped her waist, pulling her to straddle his hips.
The flat was filled with the sounds of their lips on one another as she rolled her hips against his, feeling his growing erection as his hands gripped her waist holding her secure to his body.
"Fuck, Hermione," he cursed as he moved his lips to the side of her neck, kissing along her jaw.
Her grip on his hair tightened as she felt his hands move to her arse, pulling her into him. She could feel every contour of his body against her own. Somehow hard and fit whilst she had known in her mind she wasn't the one to work out anymore. She had accepted the way her body was, knowing that she was beautiful in her own regard.
"Room," she mumbled against his lips as their kisses grew heated, her self-control slipping.
In one swift motion, Draco managed to stand up completely carrying her body in the process. His hands were firm against her thighs as she clung to his shoulders, moving her mouth against his jaw, nipping lightly when she moved to his neck.
"Keep doing what you're doing witch, and this won't last long," he hissed as he squeezed her thighs.
The journey to the bedroom was short, but the anticipation was eating at her inside. She could feel the head pooling in her stomach as his legs hit the base of her bed and he gently placed her down. He moved to turn off the lights in her room which were left on from their tour and she leaned up on her elbows and furrowed her brows.
"What are you doing?" she asked, appalled.
~ ~
He stopped mid-movement to the light switch with his head down. He turned his head to see her sitting on the bed, her face flushed and her breathing heavy. Gods she was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen, he didn't want her to see the monster that his under his shirt.
"I'm, not…" he tried to put his thoughts into words but looking at her was causing a short circuit in his brain. "I'm scarred, more than you remember, it's ugly," he said looking at her seriously.
"Okay…" she trailed off, starting to get off the bed.
"I just, figured you might not want to see them," he said in a presumptuous tone.
"Didn't you learn all those years ago to stop assuming you know what I'm thinking?" she said now standing before him.
"I know," he said with a choking swallow of his nerves.
Her fingers crept up to the top of his shirt and slowly worked their way down, unbuttoning his top as his eyes slipped shut. He elected to close his eyes out of anxiety but also of stress, the stress he wasn't ready to experience when he saw her reaction to his mutilated body.
Button by button, he felt his walls crumbling down, his security blanket being torn from him. But as every button came undone her lips attached to his skin, not giving him enough time to think about what her reaction was about to be. Lower and lower still, her lips trailed further down until the shirt itself was completely undone. Her lips trailed a path up his torso as his breathing wavered between being turned on and being anxious. Her hands ran up his torso, feeling the ridges of his scars and his abdominals in their path. She slipped her hands up to his shoulders and slid the shirt off of him, baring him half naked to her.
"Your scars are a part of who you are," she whispered as she kissed the first one near his left shoulder, the one that was caused by his aunt.
She moved to the long jagged one that was from Potter, kissing the sectumsepra reminder moving down the belt of his trousers. Her fingers made quick work of the leather and undid and slid down his pants in one fluid movement. Standing up to pick her shirt up from her body and throw it over her head and across the room. She then made the motion to remove her pants but his hand caught her and he knelt down on both knees, kissing her hemline causing a whimper to release itself from her lips.
He undid the button to her pants and slid them down the expanse of her legs, his hands gripping at the back of her thighs once they were off as he kissed his way up her legs. They were standing completely bare besides their undergarments at one another – the evidence of the past eight years of growth between each of them. Hermione however, was the first to speak.
"You are beautiful to me," she said quietly, reaching her hands to him.
"My perfect witch," he muttered to himself as he kissed her, grabbing her thighs and hoisting her upwards, and walking them back to the bed.
He brought them to the bed again, this time opting to sit down as her legs wrapped on either side of him. Leaning back onto the bed, he felt her body tremble in anticipation. His own restraint to her wavering as her skin was flush with his.
His fingers toyed with the band of her underwear before moving north and unclasping her bra, slipping it off and watching the breasts pool from the fabric. Her knickers were next as he slipped them off, flipping them over in the process and placing chaste kisses along her body.
~ ~
His lips felt like heaven to her, or perhaps hell. They were a constant sin as he made his way down her body. She was hungry and alive for him, her hands fisting at anything that presented itself to her. She started with his hair as he made his journey down her body but as soon as he kissed the sensitive flesh of her clit and pinned her hands away from him, her frustration started to show.
Moans slipped from her lips as he edged her closer and closer to her climax. Every time she felt like she was there, every time the building anticipation took her by control he removed his lips – her body was so hyperaware of the atmosphere around it that she was certain she would spontaneously combust.
"I've missed how pretty you look when you're about to finish for me," he smirked against her stomach, placing a kiss below her belly button.
"I swear to Merlin, Draco," she groaned in frustration.
"That's it baby, beg for me," he said as he stood up, leaving the cold air to hit her flesh.
A whimper escaped her lips as she watched him slide down his boxers, freeing his throbbing erection.
"Please Draco," she pleaded.
"Please what," he said as he crawled up her body like a feral cat on the prowl.
She could feel him pressed against her. An exhale of air came from both of them as they stared at each other.
"You were so good with your taunting earlier Hermione," he smirked. "What happened?" he kissed the side of her mouth.
With a frustrated groan, she slipped her hand between the both of them and wrapped it around his length, running the head of his cock between the wet folds of her core. A throaty moan left his lips as her eyes rolled back at the thought of him filling her up completely.
"What happened to you going for what you wanted and not playing around?" she quirked an eyebrow, hand still on him.
He reached beneath them and grabbed her hand, pinning both above her head before slowly entering her. He had been bigger than she remembered. Eight years without his body on hers made her question if she remembered the sensation of Draco at all.
"Are you," he panted. "Okay?" a kiss on her lips.
"I am not some fragile 6th year, Draco," she looked at him. "Fuck me, please," she begged.
Draco's restraint seemed to snap at that point as he made quick work of their bodies, pulling out and reentering her with deliberate force. She could feel the familiar knot of her orgasm beginning to come to the forefront of her thoughts but laying under him as his eyes watched her the only thing she could think about was how lucky she was to be back in the moment she was in.
"I love you," she blurted out as he angled his hips differently, entering her to the hilt.
"Fuck," he gasped out, "I love you, Hermione Granger, I have always loved you," he looked down at her, releasing her hands.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and back, dragging her nails across the expanse of his back and gripping his hair – kissing him deeply.
Their orgasms came quickly, and neither of them prepared for the sensation of being with one another again. But as he lay sweaty half on top of her with her hands trailing through his hair a smile played at her lips.
"What're you smiling about?" he leaned up and looked down at her.
"Nothing," she smiled back.
"Hermione…" he trailed off, looking down at her.
"I do still love you," she admitted. "I don't think I ever stopped," she said quietly.
"You have always been, and will always be the best thing I have ever given myself the privilege of loving," he said leaning down and kissing her.