Summary of the previous chapter:

Harry arrives at Hogwarts and gets off on the wrong foot with Ron and Draco. He is sorted into Slytherin, which confuses more than just the Slytherins. Professor Snape takes note of Harry's lack of school robe and confronts him about it. Harry gives a confusing explanation, so Snape calls him into his office, where Harry tells him about the circumstances of his arrival and his ignorance of the wizarding world. Professor Snape is shocked to hear that not only was his friends's son raised by magic-hating Petunia, but he also did not get visited by Minerva. He confronts Dumbledore about it, who explains it (though not entirely to Severus' satisfaction). They agree that Hagrid shall take Harry to Diagon Alley to get all of his things the very next day.

The Wonders of Diagon Alley

The next morning, after the first years' briefing and breakfast and after being thoroughly checked over by the school nurse in the hospital wing, Harry found himself back in his Head of House's office, only to be given a key and instructions to meet the school's ground keeper in the entrance hall in thirty minutes.

"This is the key to your vault. As I had suspected, your parents set it up for you a long time ago. The money in it is yours; I presume that it will be enough to see you through your Hogwarts' years, as long as you don't take to spending frivolously. Hagrid will take you to any shop you need to go to, which does not include Quidditch supply stores, as first years are not allowed on the teams. You are excused from your classes today, but I expect you to inform yourself about what you miss ."

"Uhm, Sir … If we're to go back to London today, how can I possibly be back before tomorrow? The train ride took over 8 hours!"

Severus sighed and pinched his nose, though Harry had no idea why. It seemed like a sensible question. "You won't be taking the train, Mr. Potter. Wizards have plenty of other ways to travel, though Hagrid, due to his size and other restrictions, is a little more limited in his choices. He can't use the Floo Network, as most fireplaces are way too small, and not even Abraxans can carry his weight. I suppose the headmaster will provide a Portkey that will take you straight to the Leaky Cauldron, as the phoenix he usually uses is likely to draw too much attention."

There were quite a few words in that explanation that opened more questions than they answered. Floo network and fireplaces? Abraxans? What the heck was a Portkey and why would they need to get anywhere near a leaky cauldron?

Sensing that the professor's patience was already stretched thin and would probably snap if he asked about all of it, Harry decided to just wait and see.

Some time later though, he wished that the professor had at least warned him that Portkey travell ing comprised of being hooked behind your navel from the inside and pulled through a long tube with the diameter of a toilet paper role – minus the paper. Harry and Tom would have much preferred the Hogwarts Express.

When his stomach had finally settled back into the space his body originally intended for it, Harry found himself in a courtyard behind a pub, the inn sign of which proudly proclaimed 'Leaky Cauldron' and showed a picture of exactly that. After Hagrid tapped certain bricks in the wall surrounding it with his pink umbrella, a hole opened up magically, and Harry's jaw dropped at the sight presented to his eyes. It was beyond words – as if he had stepped into the scene of a movie, set in a fantasy world in ages past.

It took a while before he was able to close his mouth again, but he kept looking left and right in amazement as he experienced the wonders of Diagon Alley at the side of the friendly half-giant, who seemed very happy to accompany him. And, as Harry soon found out, Hagrid was very chatty and loved to reminisce about when he had first met Harry. Much to his surprise, he learned that it had been Hagrid who picked up Harry from his parents' house after the attack on his family, and that it was him who kept him safe throughout the next day, until he could be delivered to the Dursleys.

"Had yeh with me in me hut, Harry. Such a wee baby yeh were … Put yeh in a basket with good ole' Waffles, bless his heart, died on me five years ago. Yeh really liked me cakes, kept sucking 'em fer hours." Hagrid seemed to remember the time fondly.

"' Twas hard to leave yeh there with 'em Muggles . But Dumbledore said yeh needed to be away from the wizarding world to be truly safe. Good man, Dumbledore!"

"Dumbledore put me with the Dursleys?" Harry asked, even more surprised at that. He had always assumed that Child Services had put him with his only living relatives. This meant that wizards had always known about his placement and where to find him, and no one had cared to look after him. "Why did he get to decide about my placement?"

Hagrid frowned. "Well, Dumbledore was head o' the order, wasn't he. The only one Yeh-Know-Who was truly 'fraid of."

"What order?"

"The order that stood against him an' his Death Eaters. Yer parents were innit. Brave people, they were, Harry, real brave."

"That sounds fishy, if you ask me," Tom put in with what felt like a frown. "Looks like no authorities were involved at all after the attack on your parents. The grounds keeper of Hogwarts pulled you out of the house? Why was he there? How did he even know?"

Harry asked Hagrid the same questions and noticed that Hagrid seemed to get uncomfortable. "Dumbledore sen' me to get yeh. Knows he can trus' me, doesn' he? That's why he sends me to Gringotts today, importan' Hogwart's business, but shshs… mustn' talk 'bout it, secret business, very secret!" He looked around himself to see if anybody in the crowd of wizards and witches around them had paid them any attention.

Automatically, Harry did the same and, for a moment, thought he saw a man with a purple turban scurry out of sight, reminiscent of the professor who had sat next to his head of house at the teacher's table. But that was unlikely – school had started and surely he had classes to teach. Besides, with how funnily wizards dressed, a turban was probably a popular accessory for younger folk, even though Harry could at the moment not see any others.

"I'm reluctant to say it, Harry, but I'm afraid your companion isn't the brightest candle on the cake ," said Tom in his mind. "And whoever trusts him with a secret must be an idiot."

Harry silently agreed when Hagrid repeated the whole thing about 'secret Hogwarts business' that required him to pick something up from vault 713 to the goblin who obviously was one of the bank's tellers. Hagrid seemed nice, but he didn't seem the type to question anything, and he obviously did not grasp the concept of discretion. Even the way he slipped him an envelope with authorization papers 'from Dumbledore' was drawing attention rather than defusing it.

With all he had seen in Hogwarts and Diagon Alley, Harry wasn't even freaked out about the goblins, who guarded wizards' gold in enormous underground caves protected by dragons. Even though they looked like you'd want to make sure to stay on their good side.

Both their Gringotts business was a success, and a very impressed Harry left with a pouch full of real gold coins, and Hagrid with a small, wrapped package and an air of self-importance.

Hagrid tried to explain the wizarding money to him, which was not based on a decimal system – in fact, it seemed to be based on no system whatsoever. How anyone managed to calculate change in the strange currency of galleons, knuts and sickles was beyond him.

At Madam Malkin's Robes for all Occasions, Harry finally got his school uniform with the default tie, which Hagrid assured him would turn Slytherin green as soon as they were on Hogwarts' grounds. The store also had a selection of everyday wear: not jeans (those were apparently Muggle), but trousers made from soft and comfortable cloth, shirts and jumpers and even shoes. Harry couldn't care less about what they looked like – he was happy to finally have clothes that truly fit. Tom, however, insisted that Harry try on every item and had a very clear opinion on everything. And, admittedly, he had a much better sense of style than Harry, and with the clothes they finally selected, Harry would surely look his best.

That business concluded, they dropped into all kinds of weird stores to get the rest of the items on Harry's supply list. An apothecary, a shop that sold brewing equipment, a bookstore (which again they spent a considerable amount of time in, as Tom insisted on finding the books that promised to be the most helpful), a shop that sold the old fashioned looking trunks (which actually came with a perk: much more space inside than the outside dimensions suggested) and, finally, a shop called Ollivander's.

Here, after lots of trial and error, Harry finally found his wand. A remarkable wand, if Ollivander was to be trusted, because it was the twin wand to the one Voldemort possessed. Funnily enough, Tom and Harry had no disagreement on it. While some wands that Harry had thought didn't feel too bad when he tried them, earned an outright 'no' from Tom and vice versa, the phoenix core wand felt perfect to both of them the moment they touched it.

Harry, on Tom's advice , bought himself a wand holster as well. "It doesn't seem very dignified to store it in your school bag, and the pockets of your trousers are much too small. And I think a wizard is well advised to keep his wand on him at all times."

On their way back to the Leaky Cauldron, Hagrid stopped Harry when they reached the Magical Menagerie – a store that sold all kinds of peths. "Yer allowed ter have a pet, Harry. And I wanna get yeh a presen' fer yeh birthday. Always wan'ed to, but ne'er could."

"But my birthday was over a month ago," protested Harry, who felt bad for being treated so kindly by the half-giant after having insulted Hagrid's intelligence, if only in his mind.

"Belated birthday presen' then. Lemme get yeh an owl, Harry. Jolly good pets, useful, too."

"What's the wizards' obsession with owls?" wondered Tom. "Have you figured that out?"

"Not yet, but I will," answered Harry silently as he followed a very decisive Hagrid into the store. Aloud, he asked: "What exactly are owls used for, Hagrid?"

"Why – fer sendin' letters, o' course!" Hagrid answered, surprised. "What else would yeh be needin' 'em fer?"

"Letters?" All of a sudden, the phrase 'we expect your owl' made a lot more sense. "But – I don't have anybody to send letters to …"

"Yeh will, Harry, yeh will."

While Hagrid was checking out the owls who were all peacefully sitting on perches in a corner of the store, Harry's attention was drawn to a hissed conversation at the other end of the shop. As he had suspected, it was two snakes, who seemed to be ganging up on a smallish black and red one that was backed into a corner of the cage, but was doing its best to appear intimidating despite its clear disadvantage. All three were hissing angrily at each other, insulting each other's ancestry, build and manners.

"What's going on in here?" asked Harry, who couldn't abide bullying from any one, not even from snakes.

"A speaker!" hissed one of the big ones. "In my entire life, I've never met one of those before!"

"Speaker or no speaker, don't interfere in our business!" said the other big snake. "We were teaching this useless, spineless worm some manners."

"Looks an awful lot like bullying to me. He's much smaller than you, and two against one is hardly fair."

"I may be small, but I'm highly poisonous!" said the little snake with false bravado. "I'll show them if they get any nearer!" Despite his proud words, the little snake seemed to be shaking fearfully.

When the two big ones hissed and moved to attack, Harry hastily reached into the terrarium and pulled the little snake out before they could get to him.

"Thank you, speaker!" it said gratefully, arching up in Harry's hand to have a closer look at him. "That was a close call. Will you keep me?"

"Do you want me to keep you?"

"Will I get mice every day? A warm stone to lie on?"

"I'm not sure if I'm allowed to bring a poisonous snake to Hogwarts. Maybe if you promise not to bite anyone…"

"Harry!" Hagrid's booming voice suddenly sounded near him. "What 're yeh doin' with that snake?"

Harry turned around and saw the friendly half-giant standing there with a beautiful snowy owl on his arm who looked at him with intense eyes.

"The other snakes were bullying him. He wants me to keep him."

The snake, who had proudly stretched his body into the air before, fell back down into Harry's hand and tightly coiled around itself at the sight of the big owl.

"That's a viper," Hagrid said. "Highly poisonous, those are. Not on the list o' approved creatures. Yeh wouldn' be allowed ter keep 'im in the dorms. Look, I found this pretty girl over there ... isn' she a beauty?"

"She is!" Harry agreed, stroking the owl's feathers with awe. "I've never seen an owl up close before."

"'S a snowy owl. Perfec' fer up north in Scotland. Not as interstin' as snakes, but nobody's scared o' owls."

"But we can't leave him here, Harry," protested Tom, who sensed that Harry had taken a liking to the friendly looking owls as well. "The others will kill him for sure. Besides, a poisonous snake could be a very useful familiar. Much more so than an owl."

"I love her, but I can't leave the snake behind," said Harry, giving Hagrid puppy dog eyes. "The others have it out for him. And he promised not to bite anyone." He quickly turned to the snake to get confirmation so the statement wouldn't be a lie: "You wouldn't, would you?"

"Only if they bite me first," the snake promised solemnly. "But you have to promise that the owl won't eat me."

"I'm sure she won't," Harry hissed back, only to notice that Hagrid was staring at him open mouthed and a bit fearfully.

"Merlin's pants, are yeh talkin' to it, Harry? Yeh're a Parselmouth?"

"What's a Parselmouth?"

"Someone who can talk to snakes. It's a very rare thing, Harry. Very rare!"

"Well, then, yes, I suppose I am."

Hagrid scratched his head. "Better not tell anybody, though. People are funny 'bout snakes and wizards who can talk to 'em. You-Know-Who could, yeh know…"

"The dark wizard who's out to kill you is a Parselmouth, too?" wondered Tom. "What a curious coincidence. The three of us could make a club of Slytherins who can talk to snakes and have an affinity for phoenix feather wands. If he wasn't such a people killing dick that is ."

"Hagrid, isn't there anything I could do? Maybe apply for an exception permit or something?"

"Never heard o' those… Board o' gov'ners 's pretty stuck up an' scared o' magical creatures."

"Is the snake magical?"

"Well, it's the Magical Menagerie, innit?" He scratched his head. "I s'pose I could keep him in me hut," he mused. "Yeh could come an' see him there."

"Really?" Harry's eyes lit up. "That'd be awesome!"

"And we could smuggle him into the castle easily from there," Tom put in smugly. "He's small enough to wrap around your arm beneath your robes."

"Snakes're easy to keep. We'll needa terrarium an' some nice stones with built-in warmin' charms. Lots o' prey fer him to chase in the Forbidden Forest. An' the owl can go to the owlery where she'll be fed. Let's go an' get the supplies fer these guys."

All business concluded, Harry and Hagrid made their way back to the Leaky Cauldron, and Harry assumed that they would be using Hagrid's pink umbrella again for their return trip. He was not looking forward to it and was concerned how his new owl, which he had named Hedwig, and his snake, who he had not yet named, would fare. But Hagrid didn't stop in the small yard behind the pub, but exited it through the front door. To Harry's surprise, they found themselves in a busy street in Muggle London, and the pub they had just stepped out of seemed a small, nondescript and sadly out of business muggle store that nobody seemed to take notice of.

"Are we not travelling back to Hogwarts with your umbrella?"

"Nah. T'was a one-way Portkey, and I can't magic it to be one meself. We'll take the Knight B us."

Harry gave his companion a dubious look. It wasn't even dark yet, and travelling from London to the Scottish Highlands by bus didn't seem a viable option, at least not by Muggle standards. But he didn't say anything – after all, travelling by holding on to a pink umbrella hadn't seemed like a viable option either.

"Would yeh mind gettin' yer wand out, Harry? Just hold it up straight, like this…" Hagrid demonstrated with his umbrella, but quickly pulled it down again. "Might work with this, too, but 's not s'posed to, yeh know?" he said to Harry in a conspirative voice, moving his bushy brows meaningfully. "I'm not allowed a wand since I had to leave Hogwarts in me third year an' they broke it. But if they ask, yeh know nothing, alright?"

Harry would be able to answer truthfully that he knew nothing, should he be asked, as he had no idea what Hagrid was talking about.

"I think I do," said Tom pensively. "I bet that this umbrella contains the broken pieces of his wand that he isn't supposed to use anymore. How sneaky of him!"

Harry did as he was asked and held out his own wand in the way Hagrid had shown him. Almost instantly, a purple coloured triple decker that read 'Knight Bus' on its front shot out of nowhere and came to an impossibly abrupt stop right beside them. Hagrid winked at him and climbed onto the bus, taking Hedwig in her cage and most of Harry's bags – including a magically shrunken-for-transport terrarium – with him. "C'mon Harry, don't dawdle!"

Dazed, Harry boarded the bus, which was quite obviously invisible to muggles. Otherwise, they'd be getting chased by police cars by now. At the end of their breakneck-speed trip about twenty minutes later (which gave new meaning to the term 'by leaps and bounds'), Harry was sure that he wasn't a fan of wizarding travel methods, which seemed to involve being bodily stretched, squeezed and compressed into impossible dimensions. It was an interesting, but certainly not a fun experience.

Tom was no more fond of it than Harry, feeling nauseous quite on his own, and complained about safety hazards.

At Hogwarts, Harry left the little snake with Hagrid on the firm promise to come and visit right the next day. Hedwig was shown to the owlery and fed a mouse, and when Harry had stored away all his purchases, it was almost time for dinner.

He stopped by his Head of House's office to let him know that he and Hagrid had returned and successfully gotten all of his supplies. He didn't mention his snake though, not sure if the head of the snakes could be expected to be fond of the animals by default. Professor Snape gave him his timetable and quickly sent him on his merry way.

Harry was ravenous by the time he sat down at the Slytherin table. For the second day in a row, he had missed lunch entirely . Happily digging into the plentiful dishes on offer, he listened to his housemates' chatter. Apparently, Harry had missed an exciting first day of classes. From what Blaise, Theo and Draco told him (Vince and Gregory didn't seem to talk much), Professor McGonagall could transform into a cat (an act which had thoroughly impressed her new students) and their History of Magic teacher was a (very dull) ghost who seemed to suffer from dementia. Neville had accidentally blown up a cauldron in his first potion lesson and had lost Gryffindor more points than they even had at that point. Hermione Granger had somehow managed to raise the ire of every Slytherin after just one shared lesson with the Ravenclaws. And something mysterious had befallen some of the Slytherin third years, who looked like smurfs, but seemed otherwise unharmed.

Shortly before dinner ended, the headmaster rose to make a funny announcement. Apparently, the third floor corridor on the right hand side was as of now strictly forbidden for everybody who didn't wish to suffer a painful death.

"Is that supposed to be a joke?" asked Tom, baffled. "He can't possibly be serious. This is a school; it has children running around. Many of which might see such a statement as an invitation to explore."

Harry was better at shrugging off all the funny and weird things he kept experiencing ever since he had boarded the train than Tom, who still applied logic in circumstances that clearly defied it, and simply said: "Well, then let's just take it at face value and not explore."

After dinner, Harry went over to the Ravenclaw table and asked Hermione for her notes, which she was happy to share with him. She was all enthusiastic about her first day of classes, and whatever had occurred between her and most of Slytherin H ouse's first years, she seemed totally oblivious of it. Harry told her about his first trip to Diagon Alley and the pets he had gotten, and though Hermione was a bit concerned about the poisonous viper, she was genuinely happy for him.

All in all, it had been a very exciting day, and Harry looked forward to a quiet evening of reading Hermione's very orderly and legible notes on the first day of classes.

A/N: Okay, and here's the first of the lengthy author's notes I've threatened you with. The first part is important; feel free to ignore the rest. :)

1) Umbradius brought up a point in his last review: How will things with the stone progress now that Harry must have missed its retrieval from Gringotts? Well, as you can see: He didn't miss it, and neither did Quirrell. Everything happened just as it did in the original book. It's not because I took writer's licence. I claim that it's totally compatible with canon. Please wait until after the next chapter before you bring forward any grievances. :)

2) Class schedule : The books mention split classes at least for Potions (Gryffindor-Slytherin), Herbology (Gryffindor-Hufflepuff) and Transfiguration (Gryffindor-Ravenclaw). This poses numerous issues. For one: There is only one teacher for each class. If I draw up a teaching schedule for Severus, stipulating that he has to teach two classes for each year from year 1-5 just to get all students covered, plus 2 double classes for non-split NEWT students in year 6 and 7 (which seems like a minimum for a NEWT class) Harry can't possibly have more than one class of double-potions per week!

(Unfortunately, I can't include Severus' teaching schedule like I did on A03 - ffn doesn't allow the formating. Please go there if you're interested!)

The same is true for Professor Sprout with Herbology and Professor McGonagall for Transfiguration. Of course, we might be able to squeeze in an extra single lesson for everyone if we add two additional hours in the afternoon, but that would mean classes for the teachers would only end at 18:00 (6 p.m)! And they would have homework to correct, lessons to prepare and detentions to oversee at some point as well, not to mention their head of house duties!

Going with the schedule as (not) shown above, Harry could be done with these core subjects on Monday. What is his schedule for the rest of the week when McGonagall, Snape and Sprout are busy teaching the other years? Is he only attending DADA, History and Charms every single day from Tuesday to Friday? That wouldn't work out with Quirrell's, Binn's and Flitwick's schedules, who – with combined classes, could each teach 2 double lessons per week, which results in two additional days that are covered for Harry. So he's done with classes on Wednesdays.

I decided to not try to make sense of this and just go with the split classes in Potions, because Severus complains about this to Dumbledore, and in Transfiguration, (at least for Harry's first year). All other classes are taught together, as seen in the movies (even though there might be 40 pupils in it). I think we might have classes for all houses together in the next school year, to enable more than two potion lessons per week. Hogwarts needs more teachers!

3) Hagrid's dialect. Especially for me as a not-native speaker of English almost impossible to recreate. I used the 'Hagradizer ' I found on the internet. Let me know if it's too little or too much, as Hagrid will feature quite often in this first year story.