On the road to Sumeru City,
Fuse
The world of Teyvat sounds… Fun. I guess.
Right now, I'm getting a lore dump from Dori about this world, and yeah, I'm kind of screwed here.
Some of the monsters she described sounded real scary, and although I learned about visions, which are cool items gifted from the gods that give people magic powers, I don't have one. Which is a great shame, because could you imagine a magic gun-user? Rad.
Speaking of, when I showed off the delusion that I had and asked her about it, she just looked at me weirdly and told me that it's been proven to kill people and that I shouldn't use it.
So, yeah, it's a necklace for me. A very nice and cool necklace that might come in handy as a last resort, but still a necklace.
Also, another fact about this world is that there are just gods lying around here. Well, they call them archons, but basically just gods.
On one hand, my devourer of gods perk is going to come in handy, on the other hand, I HAVE TO FIGHT GODS.
That's super concerning, and apparently, I showed up in the nation of Sumeru, which is ruled by the 'god of wisdom', apparently, whose name is Lesser Lord Kusanali.
Also Dori says that nobody has seen the god of wisdom in 500 years, since the last god of wisdom, Greater Lord Rukkhadevata died in some event they call the cataclysm.
I asked why they called them lesser and greater, and apparently the lesser and greater just mean "small" and "big" which was kind of funny to learn.
Not to mention that gods just die. Like, I was an atheist and had to deal with people telling me how there's this one big omnipotent God way up in the sky. And then I die and it turns out that God doesn't exist, but a bunch of lesser gods exist.
Life is crazy. But at the very least, the christians were wrong and that's a world I can live happily in.
"So, now that I've told you about Teyvat, why don't you tell me about your own home?" Dori asked, looking a slightly bit curious.
I wasn't quite sure what type of person Dori was, but she's been nice so far, so I don't really mind telling her about some things.
"Hm, my planet was called Earth, and we didn't really have any archons or physical gods." I said, testing the waters on how I was going to explain atheism to a person that can literally see a god anytime she wanted to, "So, uh, there were a bunch of different religions trying to explain why we exist, and I was an atheist, someone who just sort of believed that there was no god that purposefully made us."
Dori looked confused, "...So, are you trying to tell me you believed that the planet just… Started one day? With no explanation at all?"
I shrugged, "Well, do you know how the universe came into existence?"
"No?"
"Well, I'm not particularly an expert, but I think we discovered that at the start of time, there was this thing called the big bang that literally created all matter in the universe. We still don't know why it happened, but we know it happened…."
And then I proceeded to give an explanation on what I know about the history of the universe.
At the end of the explanation, Dori looked a little perplexed, "Well, okay. I think your guys' understanding of our world is way beyond our understanding… But still, there really was no god to guide you?"
"Only us humans, yep."
"No monsters either?"
"Nothing that sounds like the monsters you're describing."
"Wow, you guys must be lucky!"
"...Man, how I wish I could share the sentiment."
"...What?"
So then I got into a big explanation on because we were the top dog, we ended up fighting each other.
A lot.
Dori looked aghast at how I casually said "Oh, there was this country called China that was somewhat infamous for whenever they had a war, millions of people would die."
I don't think I have the heart to tell her about the world wars.
But then I brought it back, "Oh, but recently, we stopped having those really big wars. Now we just do small ones."
"...Do you guys not have anything other than wars to occupy your time with?" Dori cautiously asked, fearing the answer.
"Oh, nah. I just wanted to talk about the setting of our world. We have a lot of prosperity too. Speaking of, how rich is the richest person in this world?"
She looked a little bit more upbeat at that question, "Well, I myself am about the 9th richest person in the world…"
Wait what.
"But the richest would be Pantalone from Sneznyhya, who has about 2 billion mora." Dori says, her face looking a little jealous from not having that amount of mora.
I'm standing next to the Teyvat equivalent of Jeff Bezos?! Okay, wow, that's something.
Also, not Bezos, it'd be like… Shit, I don't know who the other less known billionaires are. I forgot.
Still, she sounds reasonable, maybe she got that money in a more ethically sound method than all of the billionaires on Earth?
But still, I had to blow her mind real quick, "Only 2 billion?"
Dori looked at me as if I had just declared that the world is flat, "Only?"
"I think the richest person in the world had about 230 billion of the standard currency."
Her jaw dropped, "What?! 230 billion?! How?!"
I shrugged, "To be fair, we do measure in paper currency, not whatever shiny stuff that your mora is made out of. But that's still a lot of money."
Dori still had a look of shock on her face, "Wait, if one person has that amount of money, how much does the rest of the world have? Because Teyvat only has around 32 billion mora in circulation!"
I knocked my head a little, trying to remember the answer, "Uh… 30, 40 trillion or something in that ballpark?"
"TRILLIONS?!"
God I love her reactions.
"Yeah, but that's the entire world. Most people have a huge range on how much money they have."
"...Is there a way to make it to your world?" Dori asked with a weird look on her face.
"Man, I wish." I depressingly said, "You know, my country, The United States of America, just descended into a civil war…"
"Oh," Dori's mood immediately plummeted, "I'm, uh, sorry about that?"
I gravely nodded, my mood souring as well. "Yeah, the richest, greatest, and most powerful country in the world, being split in 2 because of some assholes…"
Dori looked confused, "Wait, richest?"
I nodded, "By a long shot. I think our economy was like… 20-something trillion dollars?"
Dori's jaw dropped, while I continued my thoughts, "That was like, nearly triple the 2nd place country. And we had 9 of the top 10 richest people in the world… Although, since the civil war, that number is probably dropping rapidly."
I was about to spit on the floor, but I had to stop myself because I was wearing a mask. So instead, all I could do was just blithefully mutter out, "God fucking damn those traitors… If only I could return back home to wring their fucking necks… Ruining the American experiment like that! Absolute disgrace to our country!"
You know what? I have a good long term goal now.
I will return.
Quest created.
[I Will Return.]
Description: My fellow Americans, I may be forced to partake in this disgusting play devised by the machinations of fate for the time being, but mark my words: I will return.
Objective: Return home. [0/1]
Reward: 5 Divine Gacha Token, Guaranteed rank up on all ranks, A letter from a great figure.
Oh, wow, how convenient that it can just do that. Wait, can I get a quest to specifically kill Donald Trump?
…
No? Damn, I guess we can't have everything in life…
But yeah, I now officially have an end goal for my adventure, to return home! I am loyal to America, now and forever.
I stopped, remembering my circumstances, looking at Dori who was… Looking increasingly more awkward by the second, and then she said, "Wow, uh… That… Sure is… Rough."
I laughed at the sudden tension in her body, "Hah! Yeah, it is."
Also, that brings me the question: Should I tell her about the whole gamer thing? And right now…
I'm thinking that's a tier 10 friend thing. Dori is like… Tier 2 right now.
Maybe, one day. But not today.
Dori made a noise, grabbing my attention while pointing somewhere in the far distance, "Oh, do you see that in the distance? That's Sumeru city, our destination."
I looked over in that direction and god DAMN that's a huge tree. Probably bigger than our one!
Dori looked pretty happy at seeing the city, "Now, when we get there, I'll get you hooked up with an akasha, and then…"
But before Dori could finish that thought, a different voice came from behind us, "Oh, what do we have here?"
Both of us looked in the direction of the voice, and remembering to use (Observe), I see that…
Cutthroat
Status: Fine
Title: Treasure Hoarder
Classes: Rogue
Overall Ranking: D-
Ah, some kind of bandit.
And within a moment, 5 more of his fellow hoarders show up, looking ready for a fight.
This 'Cutthroat' guy kept talking, "Now, why don't you cough up your pockets before we have to do it the hard way?"
Ah, I'm going to get into a fight now, huh?
I mean, I was totally down to kill some fascists. Killing some dumb bandits isn't that much of a difference… Besides, some people hardly count as humans anyways, non-Americans less-so.
I looked over to Dori, "Say, Dori, how soft are the laws on self-defense around here?"
Dori didn't look that pleased, but she answered my question, "If nobody sees it, it's legal."
I let a little smile go under my mask, "Then, allow me to show you the most lethal weapon from my homeland: The gun."
Pulling out my 2 1911s, Washington and Lincoln, out of my inventory, I start blasting.
Dori wasn't expecting the noise, so she made a small noise and jumped behind me.
As for the bandits, they didn't stand a chance against the innovation of the 1911.
I managed to land 2 head shots on Cutthroat and some other guy. I shot another guy in the heart, and the other 3 a couple of times in the chest. All while only missing 4 shots.
In total, I have now used 16 of my 25 bullets, leaving me with only 9 bullets.
God damn I love America.
You have killed 6 treasure hoarders.
You have gained 6 minor rank points.
Souls obtained:
x6 [Weak, Pitiful Soul: A weak soul, gained by killing the weak.]
Achievement Unlocked x3!:
[First Blood]
Requirements: Kill a living, sentient being.
Description: There may be something wrong in that head of yours…
Reward: 1 gacha token, major increase in strength rank.
[Reaper of Souls]
Requirements: Take someone's soul.
Description: Welcome to your new home!
Reward: Soul Jar, Medium increase in control rank.
[America! Fuck Yeah!]
Requirements: Shoot someone with a gun.
Description: Now THIS is what the founding fathers intended.
Reward: 10 extra bullets for the gun you shot someone with.
You have gained 1 (gacha token), 10 (45 caliber A.C.P.)
Your strength rank has increased to D-!
Your control rank has increased to F+!
[Soul Jar - A jar that can store a soul to prevent them from wandering.]
Sure, there may be something a little wrong in the head with me, considering I'm totally fine just killing all of those sentient, living beings…
But at the end of the day, these were non-American bandits, and I, an American, am totally in the right to defend myself.
Not a very complicated issue.
And speaking of, I have 6 new minor rank points! Neat, I'm going to… Put it all into dexterity. I think it sounds useful, anyways.
You have put 6 minor rank points into dexterity.
Your dexterity rank has increased to D!
Dori, meanwhile, was seemingly worried about standing next to a murderer, as her eyes widened at me.
As she started to speak, I flinched in advance at the whip lashing I was about to get, and… "Oh you have a gun? Those are pretty rare and too expensive to shoot so casually. Are you sure you have enough ammunition for that?"
Oh, wait, nope, I totally read her wrong. She, too, does not care for the life of bandits.
I shrugged nonchalantly, "Well, my country had a huge population who loved these puppies, including me. So obviously we'd invest a lot of money into making these guns really deadly and hold a lot of bullets."
Dori didn't seem to follow my train of thought, "Well, alright, but you just spent a lot of bullets, and they're not exactly the cheapest thing around, you know? Maybe your guns are a lot more advanced than ours are, but you still can't just use them as you please. Are you going to even be able to find more ammunition for your guns?"
Oh…
I like her, all right. This is an American soul, trapped in another land.
But still, getting chewed out by a very short girl is kind of embarrassing for me.
I put my hand towards her in a surrendering fashion, "Sorry, I was just a bit excited and overzealous to be using it on actual people for the first time. Besides, guns back home were common, and I was kind of hoping that you guys would at least have the tools necessary to make bullets here too."
Her face suddenly turned confused as she looked as if she had missed a page, "Common?"
Ah, wait, "Oh, right. This might look very expensive to you, but this is probably maybe anywhere from 400 dollars to a thousand dollars in my homeland."
Again, her jaw dropped, "You can get a weapon that can easily kill people with less than a thousand mora!?"
Mora? Wait, is a singular mora even equal to the dollar? How much of a conversion rate are we talking about here?
I stopped her again, "Wait, how much does a loaf of bread cost around here?"
She blinked, suddenly realizing the problem, "Uh… About 300 mora?"
Oh, wait, that's even worse than I thought!
"Oh, a loaf of bread costs around 3 dollars at any given time where I come from."
She realizes the situation as well, "Oh, so 100 mora is 1 dollar… 10,000 mora for something like that is still stupidly cheap!"
And then she realizes something else as well, "Wait, if 100 mora is 1 dollar… Wha- What are you even buying with that amount of money?!"
I nodded, a surge of patriotism going through me, "Basically anything in our dreams! That is the power of American financing!"
My surge of patriotism quickly turned to a surge of frustration.
If only that American financing could save us from stupidity…
Tch, what a shame.
Dori seemed very excited, "You need to take me back home with you… Well, when your civil war ends, of course."
I gave her a thumbs up, "Yeah, if I can, sure!" Then, I realized something, "So, uh, about the bandits here…"
It sure speaks to the type of people we both are, to just completely forget that some human lives had been lost.
Though, I have a feeling neither of us really cares for the lives of bandits.
Dori looked over to them for a split second, her face filled with disgust, and looked away, "Let nature take care of them. Nobody will know it was us, since I never wear my akasha terminal anyways."
Yeah, okay, that makes sense… "What's an akasha terminal, though?"
She looked at me oddly, before a look of realization crossed her face, "Oh! I haven't told you about them, right! Uh, well, basically, they're neat little devices invented by our archon a few hundred years ago, and they allow for the storage of any information and it gets shared throughout any user of the akasha. And the akademiya also has the ability to just sort of watch what you're doing through it, so…"
…So, the internet?
Oh, so the akasha records everything you do, and stores it somewhere… So watching me shoot those guys is probably bad for me, if they could just pull up a recording of it…
Oh, and those bandits didn't have that green thing either…
So, criminals don't put on the akasha?
Yeah, I guess that would be this world's equivalent of recording your own crime and posting it on the internet,
So, getting all of that, I made a small 'ah,' sound, "So the akasha is your version of the internet, got it."
"...What's the internet?"
By the time we had gotten to Sumeru City, I was neck deep into describing all of the various internet wars that I had 'fought' in, deeply confusing Dori.
"Say, have you heard this rumor from Mondstadt about some odd blue woman stalking around Dragonspine?"
"Huh? Did you hear that from a drunkard or something?"
"No! No! I'm Serious! Those merchants were sober, and they were talking about how one of them saw a blue woman or something that nearly killed him using a cryo vision!"
"Huh? A blue woman? What does that mean?"
"Well, I heard that apparently, her skin was all blue and had cryo powers! And apparently, whenever someone sees her, she attacks them and forces them to go away!"
"...Near Dragonspine?"
"Yeah, near Dragonspine!"
"Doesn't that sound like one of those cryo abyss mages, but like… I don't know, maybe someone just thought it was a girl?"
"What? How could you ever mistake an abyss mage for a girl? You've seen one before, right?"
"Well, humans don't have blue skin either!"
"Wait… What if that's what a female abyss mage looks like?"
"...Are you drunk?"
"What- Hey! Do you know the difference?!"
At the gates of Sumeru City,
Fuse
You know, this city looks pretty nice. While I myself am more of a car fan, and so I don't appreciate the lack of roads here, I don't think these guys have invented the car yet, so I can forgive it.
Also, there is something very iconic about a huge tree being the centerpiece of your city. That being said, are trees really supposed to be dug in and built in like that?
"...And there you go!" Panah, some academia guy manning the gates, exclaims with a smile, "You are now connected to the akasha!"
[Akasha Terminal - A device made to gather all knowledge in one place and share it to their users. When worn, any available questions able to be answered by the Akasha System will be transplanted into your head. Only works in Sumeru.]
"Thank you for the help," I said, fidangling with my new device.
So, uh… How do I use this thing?
Within a moment, I instantly get a guide telling me how to use the akasha, and I no longer have any questions about it.
…Wow.
That's certainly a feeling. A device that's literally just wikipedia, but better? That's…
Borderline authoritarian.
Hell, do they do propaganda with this thing? Because if whoever's in charge here just decides to twist certain bits of information to their point of view…
This is basically just a propaganda speaker just waiting to happen… And I'm pretty sure I've seen the effects of those in the form of Fox News and all of its watchers.
God, I hate Tucker Carlson. I hope he's 6 feet under by now…
So, suffice to say I'm never wearing this again.
I shook myself a bit to get rid of that tension before turning to Dori, "So, uh, what now?"
Dori neutrally shrugged, "I need to go talk details with some clients, so you can… Go explore the city, I guess. We can just meet back at my place when we're both done. I'm sure that you want to explore this new world on your own without me hounding you."
I nodded, I do want to explore a bit, "Okay, sure. Have a good… day, I guess?"
Dori lets out one final laugh as she turns to leave, "If I get richer today, it's a good day!"
And so, I was left alone. And almost immediately I took off my akasha and threw it into my inventory, never to see the light of day. Something like that never should've been invented…
As I do that, I wander around, thinking of things to do.
…I have 2 gacha tokens I could use.
Uncommon weapon rolled.
[Iron Greatsword - An iron greatsword, obviously.]
Common weapon rolled.
[Training Brass Knuckles. - A pair of brass knuckles, but it's made out of wood.]
…Well, I guess that's something.
After putting those weapons in my inventory, likely to also never see the light of day again, I then thought about what I wanted to do.
…Until I was interrupted by a little something.
You have received a new fortune cookie!
And then, I had a brand new fortune cookie in my hand.
Nobody was around me when I nearly dropped the thing out of shock, therefore I did not nearly drop it.
Speaking of, Christ, are they seriously going to make me do this for every fortune? Because I really don't want to be jumpscared by fortune cookies for the rest of my life.
So, I break the fortune cookie, and my fortune is-
'Our troubles are temporary. Our potential is infinite.'
…Okay, okay, that sounds pretty nice…
But who is 'our'!? What kind of trouble am I getting into?!
Ugh… I hate these fortunes. I mean, it's nice to know I have infinite potential and my troubles are temporary in comparison… But like, who is our? Did they just forget the y?
Either way, this is nice, but please god just make it make sense.
I looked around me, just to make sure nobody was looking at me, and then I quickly ate a few pieces of the fortune cookie.
Seriously, they're way better than any fortune cookie I've eaten on Earth. Props to whoever the hell made these.
After finishing my cookie, I decided that I should probably find a way to get more bullets. After all, I only have 19 of them for my pistols, and I'm a terrible shot.
Also, I'm going to see if I can find someone who would sell me some cloth or something, so I can work on my whole stylist profession.
So, who would be able to make bullets?
Probably a blacksmith, but do they have those around here? I guess I should start looking…
You have received a new fortune cookie!
HUH?!
Okay, I wasn't expecting that, and now my fortune cookie has just mysteriously ejected out of my hand and onto the floor.
God damn it.
Picking up the pieces, I took a look at my new, quickly gained fortune.
'There shall be no 'forgiveness', no 'leniency'. No amount of flowers shall be permitted to bloom in this city while the infallible Azure Dragon rules.'
Sweet, okay, first of all, this is ominous as FUCK.
Who the hell even is Azure Dragon?!
Wait, is it a 'what the hell is the Azure Dragon'?
I hate these fortunes, hell, this isn't a fortune! I'm literally just looking at a description of something!
Speaking of, this just has 'I'm so evil' written all over it! Why did I get this? Am I going to meet an Azure Dragon soon? Why is he evil? Is the flower a metaphor or something?
Also, are these fortune cookies supposed to appear often? Because I just got two in a row and I have no idea why.
Ugh, shut up, I'm going to find a blacksmith right now before another fortune cookie jumpscares me…
Eventually, I gathered the courage to stop being afraid of a cookie jumpscare and actually start to explore the city.
And damn, this place looks sick to live in. Not as good as a good ol' American city… But this is still pretty good. The streets are clean, the aesthetics of this place are good, and there aren't that many people outside, for… Some reason.
This city is still relatively big, it's just that… I think I've seen suburbs bigger than this city before. How many people live here anyway? I should've just asked Dori earlier…
Now, a blacksmith. If I were a blacksmith, where would I be?
I thought about it a little while and I decided that I have no clue where a blacksmith could be.
"Hey, sir, interested in a fortune?" A young voice called out from not too far from me, grabbing my attention.
Instinctively, I looked towards the voice and yep, that's a child sitting at her little fortune telling booth. Probably operating a scam…
Well, I already get fortunes anyways, why would I want more?
Which is why I walked up to the kid to talk, "Yeah, sure, I could always use more fortunes."
Look, it's a kid operating some sort of scam, and I could definitely use some positivity in my life, because why would a kid tell their client that they're going to die or something? At most, they'll just try to scam me into coming back.
It's going to be fine.
She smiled, "Great! My name is Nabiya and I'll look into your future and… Huh?"
It's not going to be fine.
Nabiya looked at the little glass ball in front of her, "It's not working… Why isn't it? It's always worked before…"
I looked at her oddly, "So, uh, does that mean I'm a goner or something?" Because I swear to god if all this ominous fortune shit doesn't go away soon, I'm going to break something.
Nabiya looks up, a bit nervous, "Uh, no, it's just telling me… 'Destiny Awaits,' and 'Let my ambition raze all it lays its gaze upon.' Everytime I try to look deeper, it doesn't let me!"
Destiny awaits and let my- Wait a fucking second. Let me open up my system status one more time…
(System Status)
[SYSTEM COMPROMISED]
[PACIFICATION UNAVAILABLE]
[CALAMITY AWAITS]
[LONG LIVE THE UNITED STATES]
(Status of the soul)
[Ambitious Soul of The Domino - Ambition is the fuel that great and terrible men use to enact their will upon their world, and your ambition shall raze all you gaze upon.]
(Destiny's Path)
[If the universe is a prison, then now it experiences a revolt. In the sea of fights, explosions, and ear-shattering crumblings that the prisoners cause to its walls, one can see a tall-standing figure. "Who is he?" - one may ask. "My favorite", Destiny will answer.]
[Once lit, the flames of ambition will spiral out of control.]
[Destiny Awaits.]
God damn it, it's the same phrases.
Shit, I guess this kid is a real, actual psychic.
…Still, that doesn't make me any happier that my misfortune can be read by other fortune tellers.
On que, Nabiya questioned me, "Did you make somebody really upset in your past life? Everytime I read your fortune and get the same reading, it feels like I'm being watched by someone…"
Watched by someone? "Wait, watched by who?"
Nabiya just offered her confusion, "I don't know, whoever it is, it feels… Almost otherworldly… I would really advise you to be careful."
…God.
Why.
I sighed in defeat, pulling 100 mora out of my inventory, "Yeah, I know. Here's your money."
Nabiya widened her eyes, "Oh- Uh, the first time is free-!"
But I was already walking away, "Nah, take it."
So, who the hell is watching me? Is it Shapeshifter? Or is it the mysterious being who gave me this ambitious soul thing?
…Ugh, I hate hard questions. Let me just do an easy one and find what I'm looking for around here…
AN:
Fuse is kind of a bad guy ngl. Who just shoots people just because?
Ah, wait.
Also I had 2 cookies appear in this chapter because I love cool ominous descriptions.
[Pacing feels all off, but you know what, I'll just fix it later.]
[You know Fuse is the type of person to be clinically online and complain about how the internet is bad.]
(I was considering combining chapter 4 and this chapter to try and fix the pacing, but I just decided I'll leave this feeling short, and then combine 4 and 5, and then I'll try to just get good for the rest of the chapters.)
(How tf do I screw up pacing for 15 works in a row? This isn't a chapter worth waiting 2 weeks for.)