Ron's footsteps echoed along the deserted hallways as he climbed through the castle back to Gryffindor Tower. It was late but he had needed to be with his family. He was exhausted, having spent the majority of his time in the hospital wing over the last few days. When he had had an opportunity to sleep he couldn't. Plagued with nightmares of the total and complete darkness, blood and fear for his loved ones.

There was so much to be thankful for. No doubt mostly due Harry's felix felicis potion which he so selflessly shared. Everyone from the DA had come out of the fight safely, every curse and hex from the intruding Death Eaters just missing them. He was so grateful that Hermione had agreed to watch Snape's office and missed most of the fighting. So appreciative that his best friends had survived that night, that no one in his family was dead, Bill would recover.

Why then did he feel so broken? So empty? Ron knew he'd never been very good at figuring these things out but he supposed the vacant space inside was due to Dumbledore's death. Not that they'd been particularly close but it was the realisation that the one person in the world Voldemort feared was gone. There would be no stopping him now, not unless Harry completed an enormous quest. The magnitude of what needed to be done was overwhelming. Harry wasn't even of age for Merlin's sake and yet he'd…they'd have to find and destroy multiple dark objects, the darkest magic Ron had ever heard of. And Hermione and him were now part of it. He was scared of what was to come.

He pushed open the fat lady's portrait and entered the Gryffindor common room.

"Ron" she breathed. Hermione was sitting on the sofa opposite the fire. Waiting up for him by the looks of it. Her eyes were red rimmed…but nearly everyone had that 'just finished crying look' recently. He was sure he had it himself.

"Hey." he said. "What are you doing up?"

"Waiting for you" she gave him a weak watery smile. Hearing Hermione say those words should have made his heart soar. Not tonight though. Tonight he knew what was coming and he felt sick to his stomach.

"I'm glad."

"We need to talk." She said in a small voice, avoiding eye contact.

"I know." He sat next to her on the sofa and widened his arms in an invitation. "I know." He sighed as she snuggled into his chest and they wrapped themselves around one another. This is incredible, she's incredible Ron thought. After everything that's happened how can one hug from make everything feel better. She was so warm, he almost felt hopeful.

He leaned back into the sofa and pulled her back with him, holding her tightly to his chest. Her shoulders started to quiver and he knew she was sobbing before he heard her. He felt the wetness on his t-shirt as she cried into it. For the first time in two days he felt safe and more importantly he knew she was safe here in his arms. He let go too, tears ran down his face and into her hair. He kissed the top of her head. They stayed like that, comforting one another until the salty tears stopped and they could breathe again. She pulled back from the embrace to look at him. Her big brown tear filled eyes were so beautiful, they had little flecks of amber tonight as the fire reflected in the deep brown.

"Thank you." She whispered.

"Anytime" he gave a sad chuckle as he roughly wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. What felt so cathartic a moment ago was turning into embarrassment. Here she was, the one he loved…at least he knew that now…he needed to be strong for her, not blubbering like an idiot.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. How are you? How is Bill?" She asked eagerly.

"Don't be silly. We all need a good cry sometimes. Me included apparently." He added sheepishly, giving another half-hearted laugh. "Bill's OK…I mean he will be OK. He still looks worse for wear. I think…I think he always will though. He ate something tonight. Raw pieces of steak." He winced. "Completely raw."

"Oh Ron. Poor Bill. I suppose that's good news, that he's able to eat. I'm so glad to hear he's going to be ok." She stifled a sob that seemed to bubble up from nowhere. "Ron I've been so selfish and I can't stop thinking about it…I'm…I'm so sorry."

"Hey hey hey, stop…what's wrong?"

"I…when Luna and I got upstairs, I saw Bill first. Lying there, there was so much blood. Ron he was so…mangled…I could only make out the red hair and I…I thought it was you lying there. I thought you were d…d…dead." She wailed.

"Shhh I'm fine, I'm right here." he pulled her back into his chest so she could feel his heart beating.

"I know. But when I realised it was Bill I was so relieved. I'm such a terrible person Ron." she cried. "How selfish and horrible to be glad it was him and not you!"

"Hermione, don't, it's ok. That doesn't make you a terrible person. We're all ok." He waited for her to calm down. He wasn't in a hurry for the rest of their chat tonight. He sympathised with her completely, if he'd seen what he thought was her body bleeding out on the castle floor he'd have been a mess, he'd trade almost anyone in her place to keep her safe. Merlin, maybe it was him that was a terrible person? He decided it was time to redirect this conversation. "Is Harry ok?"

"Yes. He went up to bed about an hour ago. I really hope he's getting some sleep."

"Me too. I'll check in on him when I go up." Ron agreed, his best friend isn't coping well with what had happened. How much loss can one person take he thought? His parents, his godfather, his headmaster. Headmaster may be the accurate term for Harry's relationship to Dumbledore but it wasn't enough to explain their connection. Maybe mentor, guide, paternal figure would be better? However, it could be described Harry had just lost a very important figure in his life yet again. Ron knew neither himself or Hermione could begin to understand how much it hurt. He'd never pretend to know how Harry was feeling but what he did know for sure was that he'd be there for him.

"That's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about." She sniffed.

"I know." He said again nodding. She pulled back from him and sat up straight. He saw her expression switch from sad vulnerability to determination. She was ready to tell him the plan, as she always did. He was ready to hear it.

"I haven't' spoken to him about his yet. But…after the funeral is over tomorrow and we leave…I don't think Harry will come back to Hogwarts. I think he's going to hunt horocruxes…and…"

"And what?..."

"And." She took a deep breath. "We…you and I…need to decide what to do."

"What to do?" Ron wondered where she was going with this question…how was it even a question.

"Yes, I think at the moment we have a choice. Before we speak to Harry I want to make sure you feel the same as I do." He could sense she wanted him to go first before revealing her thoughts.

"Well…I don't really feel like there is much of a choice. If he's leaving to hunt horocruxes I guess we'll be going with him. As much as this pains me to say it…because I would prefer you stayed at Hogwarts or at home or went somewhere safe with your parents because this is going to be really bloody dangerous…there is absolutely no way in hell Harry can do it without you. You're so smart, there's a reason Dumbledore allowed him to tell you about these things. He knows you're able to help him. I'll be there, I'll likely be rubbish at finding them and just as rubbish at destroying them…but I'll do what I can." He shrugged. "I'll do everything in my power to make sure you and Harry get through this."

"Oh Ron. Don't say it like that! Like you're dispensable! Because you're not! You'll not just be there. I've no doubt you'll be brave and strong and you're great with planning, a true strategist. You'll be invaluable too. And…and…you keep Harry sane, you can always get a laugh out of him. He'd go mad if he was stuck just with me! Dumbledore recruited both of us when he let Harry tell us. We're all supposed to do this but it doesn't make it any less scary."

"I know." For gods sake Ron he chastised himself, why can't you think of anything else to bloody say!? Useless git! He considered what she'd just said, he smiled thinking over the lovely things she admitted to thinking of him. He hoped he was worthy it.

"You know you have the opportunity to stay out of this? You're pure blood, you'd be ok. Harry and I would both understand." She mumbled.

"Don't be so bloody stupid. I'm in. I'm all in. I always have been! Why would you even say something like that?" He felt flushed with anger, didn't she want him? Would she prefer to be alone with Harry? He felt a brief stab of jealously.

"I'm sorry. Please don't get mad. I'm just saying you could. You could be safe. I'd like it if you were safe." She whispered.

"I'd like it if you were safe. Why don't you stay safe?"

"No, I agree with you. I'm all in too." She sighed and collapsed back onto his chest hugging him tightly. They held each other for another while. The decision had been made.

"What do you think he'll do about Ginny?"

"I'm pretty sure he'll break up with her. He won't want to put her at risk any more than he will us. Unfortunately for him it appears he's stuck with us!" She tried a weak chuckle.

"Yeah but he might take some convincing to let us come."

"Of course. But as long as you and I are agreed, yes? We pack absolutely everything. After the funeral tomorrow we'll take the Hogwart's Express back to London and if Harry isn't returning for 7th year then neither are we?

"Agreed." He nodded in confirmation.

"We can't do anything until Harry comes of age so we have a few weeks to prepare. I need to sort things out at home. Then I'll be at the Burrow in a few weeks. Mid July I should think. Will that be ok?"

"Of course. I'll tell Mum you're coming. She'll want Harry home too."

"He might have to go to the Durselys, do you think?"

"Merlin I hope not. At worst maybe a few weeks? He always ends the holidays at The Burrow, we'll get him out as soon as we can."

"I've been…umm…researching what to do about my parents and we need to think about how to keep your family safe. If we go off with Harry they all be targeted." She sounded practical but deeply sad.

"What are you planning for your mum and dad? Maybe the Order can help?"

"I…I can't tell you right now. I want to do it on my own, the Order has enough to deal with." Her voice was breaking again. He felt his heart tighten, constricting with concern for her. He wanted to take all the pain away, make her happy, hear that giggle but he just couldn't. How had all the light disappeared so quickly?

"Are you OK, Hermione?" he asked.

"No, not really." She was properly crying again. "I think the last thing we need to talk about is…us." And here it was. The inevitable, the conversation he'd been absolutely dreading.

"I know." He wasn't sure if she was crying at thought of whatever she'd planned for her parents. Or having to go through this break up before they'd even had the chance to begin. He couldn't help but think how much of an idiot he really was. Hermione could have been, should have been his girlfriend for at least the last two years. They could have had so much time together. But instead he'd wasted it trying to deny his feelings, being jealous prat and making stupid stupid choices that he didn't even truly want. And now here they were, finally ready to admit their feelings to one another but instead the whole wizarding world has collapsed around them and it was up to them to help save it.

Every fibre of Ron's being wished this didn't have to happen. Not that he'd never befriended Harry, on the contrary, his deepest desire would be that Voldermort had never existed. That the bastard had never been born. Harry didn't have to be the 'boy who lived' or the bloody 'chosen one'. His parents weren't murdered, Sirius and Dumbledore were still alive along with hundreds of others who fell during the first wizarding war. It just all hadn't happened, even his uncles were still alive. He tried to image what that world might feel like now. Would he have been invited to the Potter's in Godric's Hollow for holidays? He'd bet that his parents and the Potter's would be friends. They'd probably all come to the Burrow for get togethers, their dad's probably worked together at the ministry. He was sure himself and Harry would have been best friends and it would have been more…fun. He wouldn't have to spend half his time worrying about who was out to get Harry and how best to help. Maybe the Ron in this universe wasn't such as arse and would have asked Hermione out sooner. He very much doubted Harry and Ginny would have been a thing…this was his ideal alternate reality after all. In fact, Ginny wouldn't be interested in boys until she's was well past coming of age…maybe 21. Yeah that seemed reasonable. Or maybe if Harry insisted on being her soul mate he'd at least wait until she was of age...that would feel slightly more acceptable. The biggest worries in their lives would have been who fancied who and NEWTs next year. Himself, Hermione and Harry would have just be normal teenagers enjoying normal life.

What a waste of energy on silly fantasies.

"Harry's going to need us. We've a very difficult, maybe impossible job to do and we need to give it our all Ronald. I'm really sorry to say this but I don't think we should…umm…distract one another."

"Yeah…I know you're right but I don't…Hermione…I feel like we've grown so close since my birthday. Yeah we made up being best friends but I really thought we were…we might…" He could feel his ears reddening as he stumbled over his words. After everything we've been through, why am I still a stuttering fool!?

"So did I, Ron. So did I." She thankfully interrupted him.

"I wanted to." He told her, he needed her to know.

"So did I…so much." She smiled sadly at him and reached up to rub his stubbly cheek.

"But now we're not?" He knew the answer, did he really have to hear her say it? He'd known it since he found out Dumbledore was gone.

"I don't think we should…"

"You're right. Of course. But after?...do you think maybe with us…after?"

"Yes I think so…after."

"Something to look forward to then." He gave a pathetic attempt at a chuckle as he wiped hot tears from his cheeks.

Bloody fuck. How long was after…weeks, months, years. Maybe there wouldn't be an after. Harry might not be able to end it. Or they might not survive. He might die without ever being able to call her his girlfriend. But that would be ok. If he was dead, it wouldn't matter. But if she didn't make it…Fuck fuck FUCK…an icy pain gripped his heart. If she didn't make it…his life wouldn't be worth living. No, nope he couldn't go there.

He held her…he kissed the top of her head again…uncaring that his tears had dampened her hair…she promised him after…he had something worth fighting for. Wasn't that the very thing Harry said made all the difference.

He'd wait for after and silently love her every second in between.