A few hours before the arrival of Obama's fleet…
A series of small boats convene at an isolated ice temple floating in the middle of uncharted waters. This temple is the base of operations for a secret society of forum moderators, who are coming from all across the planet to attend the society's annual meeting. The hooded figures file off of their boats and make their way into the temple, entering a vast conference room with flags bearing the icons of many forums lining the walls and ceiling. As the moderators take their seats, one steps to the front of the room and takes off his hood, revealing himself as Lugiuh, moderator of , a forum about geology, as well as the current de facto leader of this secret society. Lugiuh takes out a megaphone and begins preaching to the room.
"Welcome, fellow moderators. I do hope your forums have been behaving themselves under your watchful eyes. Today is no ordinary meeting of the minds! As of today, we continue the legacy of our fathers before us, a legacy of five thousand years of freedom! Freedom from toxic mods, from abuse of power, and from vile takes! Five thousand years ago, today, when this society was still in its infancy, thirty five ice wizards combined their powers to seal away the most reviled moderator to ever plague the web: KiA Moderator AlexMoses!"
A cheer rings out through the room.
"He was sealed away in an impenetrable ice prison at the center of this very temple. Let us bear witness to our greatest achievement!" Lugiuh waves his hand, and the giant shutter windows behind him part, revealing the pool of water in the middle of the temple. The pool of water, however, is devoid of any ice. Instead, all that can be seen are the floating bodies of thirty five red-robed individuals, and a giant hole in the ceiling.
Back in the present time, a man in a spiffy red suit walks into a computer store and picks up a display laptop, before walking right back out the door. One of the employees spots him, and runs after him.
"Sir, you have to pay for that!" the employee cries out, but the man simply punches the employee in the face without even looking, knocking them out. The man sits down at a nearby bench and opens up the laptop's web browser.
"Is the world ready for the return of AlexMoses?" The man says to himself quietly as he types the inquiry into the search bar. He finds an article with the title 'AlexMoses has been gone for 5,000 years…what would happen if he came back today?'
A smile crosses the man's face, and he eagerly clicks the article, but as he scrolls through it, his expression turns to one of frustration and disappointment.
"No, no, no! This is all wrong. These people think they know me, but they know NOTHING!"
The man furiously goes to Wikipedia and starts writing pages about what he plans to do now that he's returned from his 5000 years of imprisonment. He also starts vandalizing existing pages to tie in to these events, despite the fact that they have not yet happened. After several minutes of doing this, the man feels something press against the back of his head, as John from Idegon stands behind him, holding him at gunpoint.
"We at Wikipedia don't tolerate vandals like you." John says. "As one of the top 1000 Wikipedia contributors, having earned the title of Master Editor, it is my duty to dispose of trash like you."
"You're threatening the most powerful and influential forum moderator to ever exist, you know. I,KiA Moderator AlexMoses, have no business with a lowlife like you."
"You're in no position to mock me! I have a gun to your head!" John says, pushing the gun barrel harder against AlexMoses's skull.
"Do you now?" AlexMoses waves his red cape, and suddenly in his place is a brand new car, which he is standing on top of, pointing a finger gun down towards John. "Now that I've taken the upper hand, I want to strike a deal with you, Master Editor."
"What?! How did you do that?!" John stammers, flabbergasted.
"Not important. May I make a request?"
"You may…" John reluctantly says, admitting defeat.
"In exchange for me leaving your precious website alone, I want you, in all of your vast wisdom, to tell me where I can find immense power."
"Very well." John says, before handing AlexMoses a slip of paper with an address on it. "Though I'll warn you, it will cost you. Immense power isn't cheap."
AlexMoses simply smiles, pocketing the slip of paper and walking away without paying John a second thought.
Meanwhile, Pyarce walks into EB Games, looking to get the latest entry in the Zelch Squelchers franchise. Teriyaki Jakyoin spots Pyarce and immediately starts trying to swindle her.
"Ah, hello, customer! I can see you're here for the new Zelch Squelchers game!" Teriyaki says.
"What? How did you know?" Pyarce asks, genuinely shocked.
"You're wearing a Zelch Squelchers shirt right now. Anyways, Zelch Squelchers is great and all, but I think I've got a deal that you'll love much more."
"Nah, I came here for Zelch Squelchers."
"No, I insist. I'll give you a special two for one deal right now. If you buy both Pokeycho Sundowner and Pokeycho Monsoon at once, you can get them for the price of both!"
"Nope. Just want the one game. Do you have it?" Pyarce asks, and Teriyaki reluctantly retrieves a copy of Zelch Squelchers 4D, which requires a 4D to 3D converter to play. Pyarce purchases the game and walks out, just as Flex, the log cabin rides in on his legs.
"Surely a man like you would be interested in these fresh new Pokeycho games!" Teriyaki exclaims, greeting Flex.
"Actually, I came here to sell some stuff." Flex says, placing down several copies of Pokeycho Monsoon in all 4 languages of the world on the counter. Teriyaki looks over the pile of games.
"I can give you maybe 30 or 40 MU for all of this." Teriyaki says, and Flex shakes his head, leaning in close to whisper.
"Actually, you see…two of these games are in language 4." Flex says with a wink. Teriyaki gasps in surprise, and quickly raises the value he offered significantly.
"160! No, 180 MU!" Teriyaki says, and Flex takes the money, tipping his hat as he leaves the store.