Hikari felt a quiet anticipation the next day at school. As she set up the class she wondered who would arrive first: Toji or Shinji?

Not that it particularly mattered, though she felt more excited about seeing Shinji first. Realizing this slowed her work as she was settling on a feeling.

Yesterday was hard to dismiss. Shinji was winning her favor. It was really hard to deny now.

She made a long sigh in that empty classroom as the dawn light came in through the windows.

Class was starting in less than twenty minutes, so she pushed herself to resume her work.

As she did, eager anticipation of seeing Shinji again hummed in her mind.

Shinji's morning felt a little colder and more guarded than usual. From waking up out of a lucid dream, to the apartment feeling just a little chilly, Shinji met the morning with squinting eyes and lethargy. He fought himself into making breakfast because otherwise there would be nothing to eat.

The spatula felt unfamiliar in his hand as he used it to scramble eggs. He stared at it, wondering why that was, and then it hit him. His morning advanced a few hours in a matter of seconds thanks to the resulting adrenaline spike hitting his system.

This was Hikari's. It had been left here in plain sight of his roommates since she left yesterday. Had anyone seen it?? What would they say?? What could he expect them to sa-

"Hey." Asuka uttered nearby, startling Shinji. Noticing him jump she asked flatly, "What's the matter with you?"

"Sorry," he muttered, "Tired. What is it?"

Asuka crossed her arms. "I was just asking if breakfast was ready yet."

"No. It isn't."

"Hmmf. Fine." She turned away and took a couple of paces, stopped, then turned back to look at him. "So what were you up to yesterday?"

Unseen to her Shinji made an annoyed grimace. Why does she care? She ditched me for Kaji without a second thought! Instead, he said,"N-nothing important. Just caught up on chores, cooked." He turned his head a little. "What about you? Did you enjoy your day with Mr. Kaji?"

It was as if those words were a magic spell, making Asuka more lively and animated. "Y-yes, I did! We went to Yamanashi, then alimg the coast, then to the base of Mt. Fuji! I had more fun on that trip since I set foot in Japan!"

"Oh." Shinji replied.

Asuka reacted to Shinji's disinterest with predictable annoyance. But then her grimace turned to a sneer, "You're jealous, aren't you?"

"No." Shinji replied flatly. In truth he was, but his dismay over her attitude and treatmment of him was beginning to eclipse any hope of actually becoming special to her. She made that quite clear yesterday.

"Hmf." She grunted. "You're never any fun. You're going to die miserable and boring." She headed for the bathroom, uttering under her breath, "No wonder you and first are close. Why do I bother?"

Of course it stung. Shinji held that scowl to himself as he ruminated over his reasons to fraternize with Ayanami: she was strangely close to his father, she spoke little about herself, she seemed oddly familiar….

Not that Asuka would have the patience or inquisitiveness to understand his own curiosity about their world. She flew off the handle from vague assumptions often enough that he knew it wasn't worth correcting. Nor was he sure it was even worth it anymore.

Hikari, though, might understand. The class rep at least acknowledged things like 'piloting Eva is hard' and 'i want to understand my father but I hate him'. Asuka dismissed those notions, even though they were pretty important to Shinji's experiences here in Tokyo-3.

He sighed and continued making breakfast for the household

The pang of emotion that rang in Hikari as Shinji entered with Asuka was something she hadn't experienced before. It took her a moment as she stood near the back windows to recover and realize what she was feeling.

It was envy. As she watched Asuka berate Shinji verbally for forgetting to pack her lunch, Hikari gripped the papers in her hands tighter. She didn't want to see Asuka doing this to Shinji. She didn't like it before, but she especially didnt like it now.

The only thing stopping her from coming down on Asuka like a ton of bricks was their friendship... one Hikari was already feeling guilty about, for becoming interested in Shinji.

Hikari overheard two of her classmates chatting beside her. "The newlyweds are at it again." The first said.

"They should just kiss and get a room already." Said the other.

Hikari found herself getting angry as she stared at Shinji reacting poorly to Asuka's verbal berating. That hadn't happened before either.

It isnt fair, she thought.

At lunch Hikari stared at her open bento and thought of the times she would prepare some for Toji. She suddenly felt a lot less enthusiastic about the errand now, as if it hadn't been tapering off already. Now it felt like a useless obligation that just emberassed her.

Her reverie was interrupted when Asuka crashed into the desk ahead of her. A bento was open in her hands and the chopsticks she held was shoveling food into her mouth.

Hikari blinked with surprise. The only way Asuka could have gotten this bento, she knew, was if she took it from someone. Likely it was Shinji's. She couldn't just accuse Asuka of stealing the bento directly, but… "Don't you usually eat with a fork?"

"Mmh?" Asuka mumbled with her mouth full. Swallowing, she then said, "Shinji gave me his. He forgot to pack mine this morning."

Normally Hikari would have assumed it was some oblique noble gesture on Shinji's part, as part of the whole newlyweds thing. Now she knew better, suspecting Asuka bullied him out of it. "What's Shinji going to eat?"

"I don't know. He said he'd get some off of his friends. He offered this to me."

"That's nice of him…" Hikari uttered out of reflex, though inwardly she had a more bitter response.

Asuka said between mouthfuls, "Hmmf. Serves him right, his mistake for forgetting."

Hikari stared at Asuka and couldn't help herself from saying, "You could make your own lunch, if you don't like being dependent upon Shinji."

Asuka stopped eating suddenly, staring at Hikari as if she said a preposterous suggestion. Then she went hack to her meal saying, "Iim not going to stop him if he wants to do it. Its not like I asked him to do it in the first place. He just did it."

"Oh." Hikari replied. She backed off the conversation then, not wanting to start an argument in the middle of class.

She was going to make it a point to catch up with Shinji after class, though.

As it happened, his friends didn't share much of their lunches. They were apologetic about it at least, but it meant Shinji was hungry at the end of the school day. He sighed in resignation. This was typical of his luck.

He cast a look around the classroom to see Ayanami slipping out. He was a little regretful about it because lately he only seemed to catch her when it came to Eva. He was still curious about what was going on with her.

Before Shinji could finish his packing, the class rep called to him. "Um… Ikari, may I see you for a moment please?"

"Oh! Uh, sure." Shinji replied. He looked at Asuka. The redhead stared back at him before turning away and leaving the classroom without a word, figuring it was school business.

To Shinji though it seemed like a continuation of her spurring him. He wondered again over what was making Asuka so disagreeable… was it something he did? would he ever find out? Maybe she was still mad he forgot her lunch.

Hikari stepped up to him when the classroom was vacant. "Shinji… are you all right? Did you get enough to eat for lunch?"

"Huh? Oh.." Shinji uttered as it occurred to him that yes, likely the whole class heard their spat this morning after all. "Yeah, I think-"

His stomach growled just then and both of them looked down at it. Hikari smiled and asked, "Are you sure?" When he looked at her she added, a little softer, "You can be honest with me."

Shinji took a breath and in that time, realized... yes. He could be honest to her. "Suzuhara and Aida said they couldn't spare much, so I only had a little rice."

"Mhm." Hummed Hikari. She averted her eyes a second while she said, "Um… would you like to get a snack or something together?"

"Ah… you don't have to do that…" Shinji trailed off as it just occurred to him… maybe he would like that. The class rep was… well, a lot of things. Pretty, trustworthy, mild… supportive…

Hikari shrugged. "I… um… I don't want to go home just yet. Ah…" her fingers fidgeted as she held her bag, "I'd like to talk with you again for a little, if that's okay."

Shinji blinked as he looked at her. He recognized it was special for her to ask about spending time with him one on one, but he wasn't certain how much he should read into it.

On the other hand, between spending time with Hikari or going home to a girl who constantly reminded him of how he disappointed her, well… "I… I'd like that!"

Hikari beamed, "Great! Let me lock up the classroom, then we'll find a place to eat."

"Okay! C-can i help?"

"If you want. Just do some sweeping while I organize papers for tommorrow. That would be nice."

"Sure!" Shinji replied with a nod and set off to do this.

Hikari felt the spring in her step as she moved about the classroom. Self-aware behind her class rep facade, any doubts that she had feelings for Ikari were now swept away. Suzuhara didn't elicit this reaction from her. Not recently.

Im doomed, she thought, regarding the roommate of her best friend and Evangelion pilot.

It would be a doom she would gladly accept though. It was better than going to a quiet home with nothing for her but more work.

Since they departed late after class let out, the normal walk routes were not as crowded with kids heading back into town. It made the trip for both of them a little more intimate.

Shinji was also feeling more at ease as he walked, especially with a companion who was more congenial to talk with. "So um… how did you become class rep? Were you just nominated?"

Hikari wondered why Shinji was asking, but then nodded once she had her answer. "That's right, you didn't join us at the start of the year. Ah… it's partly from Kodama, my older sister. She was a model class rep when she went through school. She used a few favors to help get me nominated. It's great for career advancement if you're a class rep, so it helps."

"Really?" Shinji asked. After Hikari hummed an affirmative, he asked her, "Do you like being a class rep?"

Hikari hesitated, then said, "I mean… I suppose. Helping people feels pretty good… but you made me just realize that I didn't really choose whether I wanted to be class rep or not. There was a vote and all but… saying no was out of the question."

This made Shinji think, and he decided to say then, "E-Eva was… the same way. I didn't really have a choice. If I didn't do it, Ayanami would have, and she…"

Hikari thought of that and asked then, "That wasn't when she was badly injured, was it?!"

"Uh… yeah."

"That's…" Hikari trailed off and sighed. Then she asked, "Did you come here the first day the city was attacked?"

"Yes. Misato picked me up when the angel was attacking the city."

"And you had to pilot through that?" Hikari asked with growing shock.

"Yeah. I… I wasn't very good."

Hikari slowed and made Shinji stop and look at her. The class rep, looking at him, said, "Shinji, I had no idea. No wonder you…" when she trailed off, he shrugged a little. She went on as she started walking again, "I'm just even more impressed you can keep yourself together."

Shinji blushed a little as he fell in beside Hikari again. The two of them kept walking.

They stopped at The U again. Shinji was surprised when Hikari veered for the produce section to grab a couple of mandarin oranges and a banana. He added an apple to their selection. Hikari added a bag of pretzels after that. In all it was a much healthier snack than Shinji would have assumed they would have going in.

They sat at a bus stop some ways down from The U to eat. They shared the bag of pretzels between them as each had a mandarin. As they ate, Hikari asked, "You told me about your Sensei yesterday, but it sounded like you didn't like staying with him."

Shinji looked at the passing traffic for a moment before answering. "No, and yes. Life was actually kind of boring. Nothing really happened there, and I didn't really know anyone other than my Sensei for long" He looked at her. "It was safe though. And peaceful."

She nodded. "I can see how you'd feel. So you don't have any friends where you're from?"

"Not really. Most people I knew were acquaintances of my Sensei, and they were all pretty old. I'm awkward around people, as you can probably tell."

"Yes. Its not a problem… unless you feel like it is."

Shinji sighed as he munched on his last mandarin slice. Then he said, "I sorta gave up on having friends for a while. I figured it was something I couldn't change, so I just… learned to deal with it."

Hikari said, "It must have been very lonely."

Shinji still looked at the passing traffic and allowed himself to be honest. "Yes, it was. I got by as best as I can. Sometimes I'm still surprised I have friends now. "

Hikari smiled. "Suzuhara and Aida are good people, even if they…. Ah… stand out." She exchanged glances with Shinji. She gave him a regretful smirk and he gave her a conceding shrug. Both of them smiled.

Hikari said then, "Asuka's been the only friend I've had for most of the year, until you and I started talking. I've been too busy to really socialize most of the time." She kicked a foot as she said, "We always seem to end up doing what she wants to do, though." she blinked her eyes half-closed, and side-eyed Shinji, "Most of the time what I come up with isn't good enough for her."

He dipped his head, then nodded. "Yeah. I've given up being able to ask her anything. It feels like she has to judge everything I do."

"So she is like that at home?"

"The only person who can't do her any wrong is Mr Kaji. Everyone else…. It can be exhausting." Shinji looked down at the last slice of his mandarin. "It's hard to get along with her. I just don't understand why she has to be so competitive. It's not like I asked to be a better pilot than her or anything, but she insists on it." Sighing, he moved the last slice to his mourh and said, "I wanted to be friends at least… but…" he left the rest unsaid as he bit into the last slice.

Hikari finished the last of her mandarin. She grabbed her banana, then said as she peeled it, "I didn't like how she took your lunch today."

Shinji sighed, then replied, "It is my fault she didn't have anything to eat. Giving her mine was the least I could do."

"True…" Hikari replied. "All the same, I wish she wouldn't take it out on you. You don't have to make her lunch every day… it… would be nice if she showed a little more grace. Especially since you do so much for her already." She bit into her banana.

Shinji looked at his Apple, then took it in his hands and looked at it. After turning it over, he uttered, "Maybe. But that's not how she is. I'm happy enough knowing she's okay."

"You deserve to be okay too, Shinji." Hikari replied without looking and bit into her banana again.

Shinji glanced at her and blushed a little, then bit into his Apple. He savored the sweet taste of it and took another, enjoying the company of the class rep he could be open with. To this, he uttered, "Good things aren't supposed to happen to me."

"Is that what you think?"

"Often, yes."

I'm going to prove you wrong, Hikari thought. She held her banana, as she almost said that aloud. Instead, she said. "Well, it can't be true forever. You said a moment ago life with your Sensei was boring. Is there anything about being here that was better than before?"

Shinji thought about it after chewing another bite of his Apple. It was easy to zero in on all the problems he himself had considered. Were his friends as close as he needed? Was living with Misato- for all its… "benefits"- actually satisfying? Would anyone love him if he wasn't an Eva pilot?

In spite of all that, compared to before, he did have friends. He did have people care about him.

"Maybe…" Shinji replied. He looked at her and said, "Sometimes I wish I could be far away from here and safe, you know? Even as lonely as I would be. Sometimes…. I do wonder if I'm really cut out for all this."

"I know I couldn't do it." Hikari replied. Before her last bite of the banana she said, "Its a lot of pressure to be the hero. But at least… you can have my gratitude for saving my life when you go out there in Eva." When Shinji looked into her eyes, Hikari made it a point to put as much sensetity into her tone as she could. "Thank you, Shinji."

Shinji turned away as he blushed. "You're welcome…" he replied, then took the last bite of his Apple.

Hikari put the banana peel into the bag they were using to collect trash and dusted off her fingers. I'm doomed.

Their conversation turned to more mundane things on the last leg of their walk. They talked about how impressive the city was and their favorite flavors of tea. It was an easygoing way to learn about someone in a way he hadn't experienced since coming here. He didn't feel like he had anything to prove to her, making it easier to talk with her.

Eventually they got to the point where they had to split. Hikari said, "Well… this is it."

Shinji stopped then to ask, "Um… Hikari?" When she looked at him, he said, "Would you like my cell phone number? I mean, if you wanted to talk at other times…"

"You have a cell phone?" She asked, and when Shinji nodded she beamed, "You have no idea how much I would appreciate that!"

They exchanged numbers, then parted with Hikari waving and saying, "See you tomorrow!"

Shinji waved once, saying, "Thank you!"

He watched her cross traffic and go away down the street towards her house. He almost missed the green light allowing his crossing on the way home.

He couldnt help the smile on his face as he walked, based on Hikari's response to his offer. Maybe he would call her later! Maybe he could allow himself to be excited about spending time with her. Maybe he could hope… for what?

Turning down his street it occurred to him much of their interaction so far was just… him talking. What could Hikari really get out of that? What could he offer her other than getting her mind off her problems, with his?

Still she was choosing to spend time with him, which accounted for something. But it was hard to feel more invested in anything when he couldn't understand why she sought his company.

He arrived home with mixed feelings about the day. "I'm home!" He called out.

"Welcome home!" It was Asuka. Shinji only just had his shoes off when the girl arrived at the front door, hands on hips. "Where the hell have you been? You're an hour late!"

"S-sorry…" Shinji said. Late for what? "I was getting snacks after school."

Asuka frowned and said, "Idiot! If you just waited a bit, I got food for you."

"O-oh! I'm-"

She sighed and turned around with a dismissive wave. "Never mind. They're on the table. Take them or leave them, I don't care."

All Shinji coukd think about then was how much of Asuka's effort he had just wasted. It was nice of her to compensate him for his food, and it made sense. Now, inadvertently and without knowing, he caused another slight. He sighed all the way into the kitchen.

The snacks in question were fatty potato chips and several varieties of kitkats. He stared at the pile, a little dumbstruck that she acquired so much. But it also struck him then about her choice of snacks vs Hikari's. The junk food gave him pause.

Nevertheless he approached the table to take a few kitkats of his favorite flavors. Then he stepped off to his room to go change into house clothes.

All through the evening Hikari's mind was humming, and she knew why.

She swept the floors, vacuumed the carpet, and folded laundry. All the while there was an underlying energy to her movements, some kind of reassurance.

She had Shinji's number.

If nothing else at the end of the day, knowing he was just a phone call away took the edge off her loneliness. If it got bad she could reach out and interact with someone who could listen.

And… someone who benefited from her presence. Yes that was true of many but… Shinji was trying so hard. It made Hikari special knowing that Shinji could rely on her for help.

This energy carried through the day and suspended her above the worst of the drudgery. By the time she was in bed after dinner, she toyed with her own cell phone in her hands as she debating calling him.

Catching herself, she sighed and held the phone in her hand. No, no need to bother Shinji this late, and she didn't want to seem desperate. Besides, what if Asuka found out?

That set off a whole line of new thinking. In all of this, where was the consideration for her best friend? The one who shot down her plans and turned their outings into self-centered escapades. Last time still stung.

With the glow finally gone she decided to go to bed, and let tommorrow judge her course.

Shinji long ago conceded the battle of sorting the women's laundry. It was one of those things he quietly gave up on to let them sort on their own. He suspected Asuka just grabbed what was hers and left the rest for Misato, since that was the only way she could have gotten Misato's yellow shirt. No matter, all he needed to do was sort everything that came back trying into his and theirs. Done.

He was carrying the basket of his clothes back to his room when Asuka's door opened. A flash of panic bumped Shinji in the face like he was about to meet an oncoming train. In that second he waited for Asuka's face to appear before assuming a responsive stance.

Her face was indifferent as her eyes fell on him, then jumped away. As they moved past one another Shinji assumed this would be another one of those meetings where nothing happened. They were uncommon, but welcome.

"Shinji." Asuka said when she reached the end of the hall, halting Shinji just as he was opening his door.

"Y-yes, what?"

Asuka hesitated there and Shinji caught the rare sight of her looking distant, like something was on her mind. But then they refocused on him and her frown resumed. "Make sure my lunch is packed in the morning!"

Shinji sighed as this encounter was turning into another chance to berate him. He turned to his door. "I will, don't worry."

"And make sure my fork is in it, I want my fork!"

"Okay."

"And…." She stared at him, anger amd strain im her eyes before she finished, "That's all." She strode away from him into the kitchen.

Shinji sighed again as he headed into his room and closed the door. He wondered what was stressing Asuka so, but then dismissed it as likely something connected to Kaji she was taking out on him. Again.

As he sorted his clothes he glanced at the cell phone charging on the table. It was tempting to call Hikari to talk about Asuka's behavior, but he knew it was a bad idea for many reasons. Not the least of which, it was bad form. But also Asuka might hear him.

"I just…" he said aloud and sighed again. Asuka had been nothing but confusion and aggravation. He was becoming remorseful at the missed opportunity to get as close to her as he once dreamed. Maybe he was foolish for thinking to hope in the first place.

It occurred to him as he put away his clothes that tommorrow was another tutoring session with the class rep.

He went to bed that night, for the first time in a long time, looking forward to the new day.

a/n: Turning up the pressure now...

Asuka's biggest problem is that she doesnt know what she wants. On some level she knows she wants Shinji's attention, but she constantly makes selfish short term decisions and cant spit out whats bothering her, because she would seem weak. Being unable to tutor Shinji, leaving him with Hikari, unsettles her and she doesnt know why. Shes too proud to discuss her feelongs with anyone, which dooms her chances.

Hikari meanwhile is awakening to a connection that does more for her than any other, and will soon have to make conscious decisions over how much she wants it. Obviously she's going to make selfish decisions for herself, for once, otherwise there would be no story.