At breakfast the next morning, Daphne smiled, lifted her hand and waved with her fingers at Harry.
Harry swallowed. Oh. This was how he ended up with seven children. This was why future him had said "She's the one." and that Bathory women were the greatest.
Sirius wrote to say that Harry was to come home for Yule.
Then explained they were visiting the Greengrasses.
Harry used the mirror to call Sirius directly.
"Harry!" said Sirius "Looking forward to the hols?"
"Well yeah," said Harry "But not the visiting the Greengrasses bit."
"Look, you're dating their eldest daughter, and we have a working relationship" said Sirius.
Harry raised a hand in a stop gesture, "Oh no. I'm not getting into some weird marriage contract stuff."
"Harry, you're dating. This is so you two can see each other over the holidays. That's all. And… so I can pay for expensive gifts to pay back some if the favour for um… getting some business stuff working." admitted Sirius.
"What is the Black family business?" asked harry.
"We get paid rents by shops and for houses and apartments" said Sirius. "Well... in theory. A lot of tenants weren't paying. We hadn't um… done any maintenance." he admitted. "So they stopped paying."
"Oh" said Harry.
"Uh… I'm getting on top of it" said Sirius "I am amazing at transfiguration, and some people still think I'm a dangerous murderer, so after an in-person visit, they start paying rent."
"And if they don't?"
"A big black dog that looks like a Grim hangs around" said Sirius, with a small smile. "It vanishes, and people can get quite superstitious, you know."
-==0==-
The formal robes were more comfortable than they looked.
They flooed to 'Greengrass Estate' which was, at least for arriving, a dark wood panelled room with a few small windows up high, and two thick doors, one open into a hallway.
Mr Greengrass was sitting on a tall chair looking saturnine. Dark and a bit satanic.
"Sirius, Mr Potter" said Cyrus.
"Mr Greengrass" said Harry. "Cyrus" said Sirius. Cyrus stood, putting a book onto a chair to one side, and walked to the doorway "Come, they're in the parlour." he said, and after they'd come though into the hall, he shut the heavy door behind them. 'Keeps out unwanted visitors' thought Harry.
The door to the parlour was thinner, and more panelled, and the parlour was warmly lit, with large couches and armchairs and a warm fire.
Daphne was sitting on a couch, legs up, reading a book, and a brown haired girl was sitting on a chair by the fire, toasting something on a long metal fork.
The main couch had a blonde woman on it, who looked a bit like Daphne but.. more um… bumpy. She didn't, in Harry's opinion look like someone's mum. She looked more like Daphne's big sister. Her big, sexy sister. Harry frantically tried not to think about Daphne's mum as being sexy. But she had um… boobs. And the robe didn't cover all of the tops of them. And … the robe went in, and Daphne mum stood up, and Harry realised she was… only as tall as Daphne. And that robe went out like… and she walked over and nodded politely to Sirius "Siriuz" she said, with a faint accent and looked at Harry "Mister Potter" she said, and it sounded more like 'Mizder Potter' "You're dating my Daphne. She thinks you're quite good."
Harry smiled, and nodded a little "Mrs Greengrass." he said "I'm certainly fond of Daphne."
"He's fond of you" said Mrs Greengrass, with a smile "How modest. Have you met Daphne's sister, Astoria?" The toasting-things girl looked over "Potter" she said.
"Miss Greengrass" said Harry impulsively. The looks on the adults faces made Harry think he'd done... maybe the right thing.
Harry was waved in Daphne's direction, and she held up one hand. Harry held it.
"You kiss it" Daphne whispered. Harry bent down and kissed the back of her hand, and stood, gave it a squeeze and let go. Daphne pointed to the end of the couch, and Harry sat, Daphne's feet shoving against his leg.
The adults sat, the Greengrasses on the couch, Mr Greengrass casually putting an arm around Mrs Greengrasses waist. Which went in quite a bit, Harry realised. She wasn't built like Aunt Petunia or Mrs Weasley at all. Even Rita Skeeter had been a lot… less inny in the middle. More sort of… Seamus's girlie magazine shaped. Harry felt immediately uncomfortable at that thought.
Mrs Greengrass seemed pleased to sit almost leaning against her husband who sat back and looked a bit smug. Harry uncomfortably realised that Mr Greengrass, Cyrus, Daphnes' dad… um.. liked holding Daphne's … pretty mother. Who looked more like Daphne's big sister.
Sirius took a high backed chair, and Mr Greengrass waved a wand, and small drinks glasses floated one at a time to the adults, filled with a yellowish liquid, which by the way Sirius sipped it, must be pretty strong.
"The chestnuts are nearly done" said Astoria, "And the marshmallows are done."
The long fork, removed from the fire had roasted marshmallows on the tines. Toasted, if a bit singed.
Mrs Greengrass drew her wand and with a neat flick, the marshmallows flew off the fork, into the air, and landed on a plate on an end table.
"Mumm" said Astoria "You took them all."
"Astoria" said Mr Greengrass sternly.
"Sorry father" said Astoria.
"So how do you two get along at home" said Mrs Greengrass.
"Oh I've only lived with Sirius this Yule" said Harry "I was elsewhere."
"His muggle relations" said Sirius "His mother's family were not blessed with multiple witches."
"Oh you poor boy" said Mrs Greengrass. "I understand your mother was heiress Slytherin?"
Harry pulled the locket out of his robe and let it hand on his robe-front glinting. "That's me. Slytherin" said Harry.
"Heir Slytherin. How unusual" said Mrs Greengrass.
"Head of house Slytherin" said Harry "There's only me left, now uncle Tom's dead."
"Oh that must have been difficult for you" said Mrs Greengrass.
"Yes he was hard to kill," said Harry blandly, and Mrs Greengrass frowned. Mr Greengrass shook his head, in, Harry realised, amusement. Daphne shoved him in the leg with one foot "don't act up" she said.
Harry casually slipped a hand down his leg and stroked the sole of her foot. Her toes curled over.
Harry realised the sole of her foot was ticklish. Harry did what any teenage boy would do, with the opportunity to slyly tickle his girlfriends' sole and overdid it.
Daphne's foot wiggled about and she squirmed "Harry no" she said quietly.
Harry gently ticked the sole of her foot, which made her foot curl over more and she jerked her foot out of the way.
Daphne put green slippers on when the house-elf appeared and announced dinner was ready.
Harry was led by everyone else to the Dining room, and seated opposite Daphne, between Mrs Greengrass and Astoria.
The meal was quite good.
By dessert, Cyrus Greengrass was looking very comfortable, and the adults had glasses of port.
"So, Sirius, a betrothal agreement between the boy and our Daphne. The usual stipulations, we'll need a Greengrass Heir, and Blacks, not Potters." sad Cyrus casually.
Harry's throat clenched shut, his hand, raised with a fork to pick up some dessert, froze.
Sirius shook his head "Harry's a bit young for that, and he and Daphne might just decide to marry him anyway." he said "His mother would have hexed me if I betrothed him off."
The muggleborn that wasn't" said Mrs Greengrass tersely.
"Heiress Slytherin" said Harry, putting his fork down "Mum was Heiress apparent Slytherin, so No, not a Muggleborn, but as far as she knew, as far as her parents knew, they were muggles and she was a muggleborn. Nobody ever treated her better because of who she was."
"Sirius" said Mrs Greengrass, ignoring Harry "We'd like to have an old-fashioned betrothal, to safeguard our family."
Harry took a deep breath and held it, anger filling him.
"Harry, no" said Sirius "Not today."
Harry exhaled slowly.
"Cyrus, Roxanne" said Sirius casually "Harry's parents were friends, and made me his godfather, and I've since adopted him. They believed in people marrying for love, or not at all. There will be no betrothal contract before the children in question are of age, and can make their own agreement. Obviously, you'd want an heir for Greengrass in that case, but they're only fifteen."
"They could be contracted" said Roxanne Greengrass sharply "To safeguard my daughter."
"Roxanne, your mother, lovely woman that she is, did Not insist on you being betrothed to Cyrus at Hogwarts. Look, they're fifteen. Who knows who their lives will end up?"
Harry looked at Daphne, who looked at the ceiling momentarily. Harry frowned, trying to ask the question without speaking. Daphne shook her head minutely.
"He's rich and famous, he could take advantage of Daphne and leave her" said Roxanne.
Harry raised his eyebrows at this and Daphne's slippered foot kicked Harry in the shin.
"I think your daughter's a competent witch, and not overly emotional." said Sirius drily "I will personally punish Harry if he leaves any witches sobbing at Hogwarts."
"With your track record!" said Cyrus louder than was really polite.
"I was dating Marlene, and she, and her whole family were murdered." said Sirius tightly "After which, I admit, I was a bit… of a rake."
"Amelia Bones" said Cyrus. "Still hates you today."
"I was fifteen!" said Sirius.
"Which is the problem with Potter" said Cyrus, changing the topic.
"Oh come off it" said Sirius angrily "Look at him, He's hardly the fruit of my loins, is he? Doesn't have every fit bird in the castle swooning over him the way I did at his age."
Harry blinked and stared at Sirius. He'd always suspected Sirius had been a playboy at Hogwarts.
"Sirius" said Roxanne Greengrass "Marlene was the only one who found your posing amusing. Everyone else thought you were as big a tosser as Potter's father."
Sirius had frozen, mouth half open "Tosser?" asked Sirius "Tosser?" he said again "Clearly just hair envy. I mean James was a spoilt git till late sixth year, but I was by FAR the most desirable wizard at Hogwarts."
"Which is why I'm married to Roxanne, and you're not" said Cyrus.
"I couldn't date a Slytherin. I was a Gryffindor!" said Sirius, sounding drunker than Harry thought he'd been.
"Which applies double to Harry here!" said Cyrus.
"Excuse me" said Harry holding up on finger, and he picked up the Slytherin locket from his robe-front and hissed to it, and it opened with a click. He opened it, stroked the glass and closed it. "As an Actual Slytherin, The Slytherin, in fact, not just someone sorted into Slytherin house, thought the hat did want me there, I talked it out of that… can you not bring up school dormitory names. IF Daphne and I marry, she will be marrying into the Slytherin family. Until then, I am the only remaining Slytherin."
"He's underage" said Cyrus. "Ignore him."
"Harry" said Sirius "As an underage head of house you're in an awkward position legally."
"You would need to have a steward" said Roxanne primly.
"Fine" said Harry, taking the locket off his neck "Sirius, you're steward of the house of Slytherin, unless you have a better idea?"
"Cousin Andromeda." said Sirius.
"Doesn't she have a job?" asked Harry.
"Well, yes" said Sirius.
"Remus?" asked Harry.
"Now he is a bit under-employed, yes" admitted Sirius.
"There we go." said Harry, putting the locket back on "Remus Lupin is the steward of the house of Slytherin."
"Isn't he… a werewolf?" asked Roxanne.
"He can't help that, and it's not a full-time job" said Sirius.
"But it does let him boss Dumbledore around a bit" said Harry. "He could press for reinstatement as Defence against the dark arts teacher. We'd stand a chance of passing OWL's."
"The board of governors would never stand for it" said Cyrus firmly.
'They can go piss in the woods" said Sirius "Harry owns a quarter of the school. His Regent can probably ride rough-shod over the board."
"Worse case" said Harry "He could just eat them" he suggested jokingly.
"Harry!" said Sirius sharply. "Think of poor Remus, waking up, finding out he'd eaten Lucius Malfoy. He'd take purgatives, probably develop an eating disorder." Harry snorted, and Daphne kicked him again. "Ow" Harry cried.
"Stop annoying her and she'll stop kicking you" said Sirius sombrely.
"Father" asked Astoria "Is Potter Really going to get Professor Lupin back, it's just that Professor Umbridge is completely useless, and looks like a dung-beetle in a pink two-piece."
"And has an irritating voice" added Daphne "And the Slinkhard book is only suitable for… dealing with mildly irritated family members."
"Not in my family" muttered Harry sarcastically.
"Don't mutter at the table Harry" said Sirius "It's bad manners."
"Sirius, are you really going to let young Harry appoint Mr Lupin as steward, given his… condition?"
"He's had it since he was four, Cyrus. And he managed to beat all of us at NEWTs, and didn't bite anyone. Since then, the wolfsbane potion makes it much safer, as he keeps his human mind during transformations. He curls up on the rug and sleeps it off. The transformations are still exceedingly painful, but he's much healthier." said Sirius.
"All the time we were at Hogwarts?" asked Roxanne. "He could have bitten anyone in dorms."
"He spent full moons in the shrieking shack. That's what made the noises." said Sirius.
Roxanne crossed her arms crossly "Cyrus, you told me that shack had been haunted forever!"
Cyrus looked at his wife and opened his mouth but said nothing.
"Look, everyone used it as a date destination" said Sirius "We did, and we knew what made the noises."
Cyrus smiled hopefully.
Harry was struck by the similarity between Daphne's mannerisms and Roxanne's. But having the tops of her boobs showing made her mum's crossed arms less… intimidating.
"Will this steward even take the job?" asked Roxanne.
"He will" said Sirius "He owes Harry and I."
"I suppose with a family steward on staff, Harry Potter's behaviour might be… controlled" said Roxanne.
"Harry's quite repressed," said Daphne. "He doesn't really need repressing further."
"Thank you Daphne," said Sirius, "I'll have to spend some time making sure he understands that I don't want the Greengrasses thirsting for his blood."
"I'm not even sure we'll be dating next year" said Daphne primly.
-==0==-
Harry stepped out of the floo, back at Grimmauld Place and Sirius hugged him awkwardly. "Sorry Harry" said Sirius "I should have expected a bit of old-fashioned rubbish."
"Um" said Harry "what about Professor Lupin… Mister Lupin?"
Sirius frowned and summoned an object… and a mirror landed in his hand. "Right" he said, touched it with his wand "Moony Moony Moony" he said, and the mirror fogged over.
"Hopefully he's still got his" said Sirius.
"What?" asked Harry. Sirius explained about calling mirrors, and that they vibrated and heated up when you said the name of another marauder.
"These would be quite useful. Like, for everyone" said Harry.
"More than five connections and Moony said the runes get too hard." said Sirius.
"What about just two, like telephones?" asked Harry.
"You'd have to carry hundreds of mirrors." said Sirius dismissively.
"But, you could put all of one end in a big hall. Like a telephone exchange" said Harry, who vaguely remembered seeing a woman in a headset on the telly once, answering phone calls.
"But" said Sirius "Someone would have to connect up the exchange mirrors. What a rotten job."
"Couldn't that be magic too?" asked Harry "Voice controlled somehow to let mirrors see other mirrors."
Sirius nodded "Like a motorbike gearbox" said Sirius.
Harry frowned "not a bit like a motorbike gearbox" he replied.
The mirror in Sirius's hand unfogged and the scarred, dishevelled face of Remus Lupin stared out.
"Sirius?" he asked "Using our old mirrors?"
"Harry has a job for you, and you'll probably be able to get your old teaching job back. Floo over to twelve Grimmaud place."
"I'm um… out of floo powder" admitted Remus.
"Well, apparate to the front door, and I'll let you in" said Sirius "This is serious stuff."
"Why are you both dressed like ponces?" asked Remus.
"We were out at Harry's girlfriends' place. Cyrus Greengrasses manor. Daphne Greengrass."
"Well" said Remus after a moments delay "At least she has neat handwriting, even if her homework was a bit indifferent. See you two in a few minutes."
"Bring a trunk" said Sirius "You're probably going have to go to Hogwarts."
"Have to?" asked Remus, frowning.
"The directive comes from the Highest levels of Hogwarts management" said Sirius, with a straight face.
-==0==-
"Regent of the house of Slytherin?" asked Remus, from the couch in the drawing room.
"I need an adult, and you're ideal" said Harry "I trust you, you knew my family, my mother particularly, and as a bonus, I can ask you to appoint yourself as Defence professor. That way I stand a chance of passing my Defence OWL."
"Dolores Umbridge is politically well-connected" said Remus "And has it in for werewolves."
"And I hate her, and own a quarter of Hogwarts" said Harry brightly. "So… are you going to take the job. It will involve tell the Hogwarts board of Governors to get stuffed, telling Professor Dumbledore to just sit down and be a good Headmaster, and you to teach Defence."
"And you're really head of Slytherin?" asked Remus.
Harry tapped the locket "Enter Hogwarts wearing this, and trumpets sound." said Harry.
"Trumpets?" asked Remus.
"Technically Serpens, snake shaped Celtic war trumpets" said Harry offhandedly.
"And that was Miss Granger that told you that?" asked Remus.
"Daphne Greengrass" said Harry "Likes music, and musical instruments."
"And is Heiress Greengrass" said Sirius "Cyrus and Roxanne tried to get a marriage contract out of us tonight."
"Lily" said Remus "would have said very pointed things."
"So Harry and I disagreed with the Greengrasses" said Sirius "It's hard to forget Lily's endless rants about hidebound, medieval cultural practices."
"Rants?" asked Harry "Everyone said mum was really likeable."
"Well, she did tend to go off about marriage contracts, betrothals, and the treatment of muggleborns and werewolves." said Sirius. "You get a bit like her sometimes."
"Like her?" asked Harry.
"Bad tempered" said Remus. "She was a red-head."
"Auburn" said Sirius.
"It still counts as red" said Remus. "And look what Prongs said after he married her."
"Did mum and dad fight?" asked Harry.
"Until they started dating in seventh year, then,… they had very loud, forceful discussions." said Remus. "Obviously they tried to tone it down once you were around, to keep you sleeping."
"You were a hard baby to get to sleep" said Sirius. "And prone to the odd bit of accidental magic."
"And then James was all 'Shows how strong our son's magic is' and Lily would say 'Shows he's a showoff like his father'" said Remus, wistfully.
"You gave that cat fits on your kiddy broom" said Sirius, smiling sentimentally.
"Kiddie broom?" asked Harry.
"I gave it to you for your first birthday. It only went a foot of the ground" said Sirius "You'd chase the cat. There's a photo somewhere around."
"Lily threatened to burn the damn thing every week" said Remus, smiling. "Happy days."
"So… I flew a broom as a baby?" asked Harry. "I wondered why flying came so easily to me in first year."
Sirius nodded "A truly godfather worthy present."
Harry took off the locket and got up and handed it to Remus "You're steward. Go be Defence Professor."
"Harry, we need to have a public notice in the Prophet." said Sirius. "And you'll need to give Remus written instructions."
Harry went to the writing desk and rummaged.
"Sirius, please write the notice" said Remus "If Harry writes it heaven knows what the Prophet will think of the scrawl."
Sirius wrote two letters quickly, and folded them up and sealed them with wax.
"Why two letters?" asked Harry.
"Oh, one announcing that you're The head of Slytherin, but under-aged, and a public notice appointing Remus John Lupin as steward of the house of Slytherin." said Sirius.
"Shouldn't I have a badge instead of Slytherin's actual locket?" asked Remus.
Sirius opened the china-cupboard and took out a nasty looking snake brooch. "Mother inherited this, it's mildly cursed. Harry, you could make it the steward's badge?"
"No" said Harry "It's far too ugly. Snake shaped, green emeralds. And far more fangs. The family snake is a basilisk, after all."
Sirius drew his wand and transfigured the brooch into a more toothy, green-eyed brooch.
Harry looked at it critically "S-shaped, just in case people miss the obvious" he said.
Remus looked in the cupboard "There's a locket in there we could transfigure into a spare" he suggested.
"Have at it" said Sirius "It's some old cursed locket of ours."
Remus took it out and cast a long spell on the silvery locket , which had the locket shudder and glisten slightly. "Nasty curse" he said idly, and gave the locket a stiff jab with his wand. The locket glowed reddish, emitted a faint whiff of brimstone and faded to tarnished silver.
"Padfoot" said Remus "Copy Harry's locket, will you?"
He put Slytherin's locket beside the silvery locket.
Sirius cast a long transfiguration, tapping first Slytherin's locket and secondly the tarnished silver locket, which bubbled, swelled and expanded to look like … a copy of Slytherins locket. Harry picked it up and hissed at it. Nothing happened. Harry opened the locket. "So... not a complete copy?"
"Sorry" said Sirius sarcastically "Copying parseltounge locks isn't something I've learnt."
Harry hefted the spare "I think" he said "Salazar Slytherin would have left some records."
"Nobody ever found them" said Sirius.
"Well" said Harry "They're probably hidden off the chamber of secrets. Seeing as it's parsel-tounge locked."
"That" said Remus "Is a job for cursebreakers."
"Like Bill Weasley" said Harry "He works for Gringotts."
"Who's Bill Weasley?" asked Remus,
"Ron's oldest brother. Got twelve NEWTs" said Harry. Sirius's mouth pursed momentarily.
Sirius picked up Harry's locket "This" he said "Needs something to prevent theft."
"Something powerful" said Remus.
"Something quasi-illegal" said Sirius.
"Black family Library" said Harry "Oh come on, there must be something. Oh, and we need to send Professor Dumbledore and the board of Governors letters too. Telling them about the appointment of Remus Lupin as Defence Professor."
"Remus?" asked Sirius "Fancy being Black family steward?"
"And having to do all your work?" asked Remus "I think Harry's offer is better."
"Traitor" said Sirius jokingly.
Sirius sat and wrote out two letters.
'Dear Professor Dumbledore.
As I'm not of age, I've appointed a regent to act for the house of Slytherin. Remus John Lupin.
As he's a good Defence against the dark arts teacher, I'm appointing him to the position.
He's got an excellent academic record and was a very good Defence teacher in nineteen ninety-three.
I'm sending the board of Governors a copy of this letter, so they don't get any funny ideas.
I hope you don't get any funny ideas either.
Sincerely,
Harry Potter-Black, Head of the house of Slytherin.
pp. Sirius Black'
Harry looked up from the letter "Will he like this?" Harry asked.
"Might do" said Sirius "Umbridge is apparently Fudge's right-hand witch."
"Might upset Fudge" said Remus.
"Bugger Fudge" said Sirius.