But I wanted a Pony
Chapter 16
In which, Potter-Black children are inquisitive.
Harry dropped the children off at Hogwarts, the serpens sounding, and Professor McGonnagal
arriving
"Mister Black" she said "What is going on?"
"I found these two" said Harry "Up to no good. Suffice to say that Cassiopeia is grounded till she's thirty, and her brother has let things slide, so he's grounded for the rest of the year.
I would appreciate if neither of them got to Hogsmeade again this year."
"And what did they do, or is that Family business?" asked Minerva, tiredly.
"Caph stole something form her uncle Theo. And used it. As it's technically not illegal, at least they won't be going to Azkaban" said Harry.
"Technically not illegal?" said Minerva.
Harry rolled his eyes.
"You will be talking to Ms Granger to get that law changed, I take it?" asked Minerva.
"Erm" said Harry awkwardly "making a law against it makes the knowledge that it's even possible to do, may be not public knowledge, but everyone in the Wizengamot at least."
"Which would leak like a colander" said Minerva.
"At least it wasn't malicious" said Harry.
"About that" said Minerva "Aurora reports Cassiopeia has somehow animated all the carved snakes in the common room to threaten people."
"Erm" Harry scratched the back of his head, messing up his hair still further. "Family magic, technically. All um… members of certain family tree can do that."
Minerva looked down her nose, through her octagonal eyeglasses at Harry Potter, who shrugged.
Minerva McGonagall narrowed her eyes. "Mister Potter, what is going on?"
"Broadly speaking" said Harry "nothing. Cassiopeia's grounded till she's thirty, Altair is for one year, and apparently I need to give her some direction about not throwing her weight around."
McGonagall's left eyebrow rose independently.
"Mum's family are distantly related to the Slytherins" said Harry "So um… being a parselmouth is sort of inherited. As are green eyes."
"Lily Evans a parselmouth?" asked Professor McGonagall, her eyebrows shooting upwards.
"Well, I don't know" admitted Harry "My um… all my children are. And um… if you tell the snakes in the Slytherin common room what to do… they do it."
"Am I to understand that Cassiopeia Black is Heiress of the Slytherin line?" asked McGonagall.
"No. She's our second child. Altair is." said Harry blandly. Caph elbowed her brother viciously.
"And yet, his surname is Greengrass" said Professor McGonagall.
"That was decided by our marriage contract. Firstborn a Greengrass." said Harry.
"So the Greengrasses are going to be the descendants of Slytherin hereafter?"
"Well, Altair is hopefully not going to make me a grandfather soon" quipped Harry. McGonagall narrowed her eyes further. Caph snorted. Altair stared at Harry openmouthed.
"And you won't come public about this?" asked McGonagall.
"Oh please, I was in Nurmengard. The press would have a field day. A Slytherin returns, defeated the previous dark lord, married a poor pureblood witch against her will, and went to Nurmengard for his crimes."
"And the rumours about you blackmailing your way out of Nurmengard?" asked McGonagall.
"Just rumours. The ICW saw a chance to swipe… certain family heirlooms, a wizard with Spanish reaction force had a job breaking the statute of secrecy, and Daphne and I had a run-in with a bomb from one of the muggle wars."
Professor McGonagall sighed "Just… go home." she said.
-==0==-
Cleaning out the chicken coop, at Easter, Caph turned to her brother.
"I know a way to prove I'm the older" she said.
"You have an idea?" asked Altair, his hair full of straw and dust.
"I have a brilliant idea. We'll need help from…. Bernadette Weasley:"
Why her?"? Asked Altair.
"Because she's really artistic and makes jewellery." said Caph.
"All we have to do is pinch Dad's locket, and both of us can take turns entering Hogwarts. Whoever the horns sound for, is heir."
"I'm Heir Greengrass "said Altair.
"I mean Heir Slytherin" said Caph sharply. "The big one, not the little stuff."
"You are so not the oldest" said Altair quietly. "Dad says so."
"I'm heiress Slytherin" said Caph "And I want to be treated like it."
"Well, being grounded and treated like a criminal is a good start" muttered Altair.
Bernadette was induced to come visit with a promise of access to the pool.
Caph rolled her eyes "Weasleys are so poor" she said.
Bernadette used her camera and the copies of newspaper clippings ( Stella had a scrapbook of the clippings, and that was totally tragic, in Caph's opinion) as a reference for what the locket looked like.
Bernadette transfigured a locket in the old dress-up box, that no Blacks were babies enough to wear anymore, into a quite good facsimile of Dad's locket.
"When mum and dad are in the pool" said Caph. "They don't have anything but wands."
"And their swimsuits" said Altair.
"Trust me Al," said Caph "Nothing but wands. I need obliviation."
"The had sex, Caph. There are twelve of us." said Al.
Al, and Caph smuggled the locket back to school and on Saturday, try it.
It works for both of them.
Stella and Sirius pushed in and tried and it worked for them too.
Minerva came out of the castle to see the Potter-Black children standing in a loose group by the front doors.
"Where's your father?" she asked. "The serpens have been going wild."
The smallest Greengrass-Black child held the locket behind them, hoping Minerva wasn't an expert in bad behaviour.
-==0==-
Harry stepped out of the Headmistresses fireplace, which she had labelled "The Black-Weasley portal." Between the masses of Weasleys and Blacks, they were her major source of parental visits.
Daphne followed soon afterwards.
All seven of Harry's school-aged children stood in front of the Headmistresses desk.
"You're all grounded" said Harry, as Daphne stared at them like she was going to send them all to bed with no dinner. "You stole a family heirloom. That sort of thing can go horribly wrong."
"Well" said Daphne "At least we know the rules for Slytherin inheritance now. Any of you can be Heir Slytherin."
"Whichever one gets the best marks" suggested Minerva.
"A bit Ravenclaw" said Daphne "We'll have to go with whichever one gets the least demerits."
Harry nodded "So, I will be collating your school reports. Whichever one of you graduates with the least detentions is Heir."
"But dad" protested Sirius "You got tons of detentions."
"I did" said Harry "And had to kill uncle Tom who killed grandma Lily."
Reg looked thoughtful and spoke, which was a rarity "Dad, doesn't this mean that we can dob in our bothers and sisters to get ahead?"
Professor McGonagall smiled a cat-like grin "Oh, this is promising" she said.
"The quints are all snoops and goody-two-shoes" grumbled Caph.
"That, Mr Potter, is truly Slytherin solution." said Minerva.
"Potter-Black" said Daphne innocently.
"But also actually Slytherin" said Minerva.
"I would never admit to that, even if it was true" said Harry "I've had bad press before, but that story could hurt my children. Or my wife."