Chapter 27: And So, our Story ends, Not with a bang, but a whinny.
Hagrid sent another letter, inviting Harry to a meeting of the Centaur council of Seers. Which had a worryingly apropos to 'my eldest daughter might have wrecked divination' kind of feel to it.
Harry painfully read his way through Slinkhard's book on Defence, he needed some non-magical ideas on resolving conflict. There was no way he wanted to go down in history as starting a war with the Centaurs. And Caph was going through what Daphne called 'A phase' where she slammed doors, stomped about and didn't speak to him. He felt that given that she was still grounded till she was thirty, for the first time she'd swiped the jumper and wrecked a universe, and he was quite certain she'd sneaked out and done it twice… well, that making a lot of noise and being sullen was… well, she was a teenager. Though thankfully, there wasn't a pile of hormonal teenage boys trying to floo-call. Just Altair's slightly smelly friends. Well, and the usual currents and counter-currents of Weasleys and Blacks going to Quidditch and things. Apart from Caph, sulking and slamming doors, of course.
For his trip to the Forbidden forest on Saturday afternoon, Harry wore a serious robe, dragon-hide boots and used plenty of Sleekeazy's , so his hair would behave. He knew about their little prophecy about his hair already, after all. He could change, and certainly wasn't going planning to start a war.
"Harry, dear?" asked Daphne, standing by the fireplace in the kitchen in a dress Harry suspected was technically a robe, but might blend in if she went down the hill to Little Hangleton.
Harry smiled at his favourite witch. She smiled back. Harry awkwardly wondered if they were going to be stuck for long.
Daphne took a wand out of her robe pocket. A long, white wand, carved with berries.
"I think you should take this one. Just in case." she said, holding it out to him.
Harry picked up the Elder wand, and the warmth flowed up his arm into his chest.
"And dear… don't start a war" she said.
"Of course not" said Harry.
"If they start anything… try to back onto the Hogwarts lawns before counter-attacking" said Daphne. "It would make the inquiry afterwards easier."
"Does that count as grounds?" asked Harry "As in house and grounds?"
"No, you don't live there, and our claim on Hogwarts would be far too tenuous to use in front of the Wizengamot. Let alone that you'd have to … out yourself as a Slytherin." said Daphne.
"So… run away onto the Hogwarts grounds, don't start a war." said Harry.
"Well… they're still technically classified as beasts, but don't use Unforgivables." said Daphne.
Harry rolled his eyes "No. Just No. I'm going to be polite, find common ground, and if all else fails, I dunno. Improvise."
"Improvise?"
"Look. Plans don't really work in a fight. And I don't want to fight. And they're not having Caph." said Harry. "She might be being a right teenager but… she meant well."
Daphne smiled a small, soft smile at Harry. "Course she did. It's actually rather romantic to think of all those Harry's and Daphne's… and importantly, not one sodding marriage contract."
"Not a one" said Harry, with a slight grin, "between me and you… that's worth it. Not that I'm anything but the luckiest man alive."
Daphne rolled her eyes "You are going to be late; and we don't have time to go to my office to… check the paperwork." Her eyelids lowered a little. "Come back safe." she whispered.
"Yeah, love you too" said Harry, and he took a pinch of floo-powder and flooed off to the Three Broomsticks.
-==0==-
Hagrid led him deep into the forest, then left him on a trail "Down the end there" said Hagrid, and he shook his head "They're a bit agitated, Harry".
There was a clearing with a low hillock. Seven Centaurs stood on the hillock, backlit by the moon. They held long lances upright.
Harry smiled "Hello" he said.
The seven centaurs holding lances glowered at Harry. He surreptitiously cast a stone-skin charm on himself, just in case one of them decided to punctuate a point by puncturing him.
"Speak" said a centaur, in a deep, serious tone.
"Look, it's not my fault" said Harry. "Well, indirectly it is because she's my daughter, but let's not go there. So, Divination is destroyed. We still have six out of seven kinds of magic still working, and more importantly, at no point did anyone travel in our timeline, risking destroying our reality, as we know it."
The Centaurs did not cheer at that point. But they didn't stab him either.
"The warp and weft of fate is permanently detached from the weird of the world." said the centre Centaur, that Harry suspected was the one he'd talked to before. He wished, hopefully that Bane, who merely hated humans in general would turn up. But that bright idea about getting him involved in politics was backfiring a bit today.
"Look, my experience of fate is that it's pretty weird at the best of times" said Harry, risking a polite smile.
One of the Centaurs rammed the butt of their lance into the ground, and stomped over, hooves as big as dinner-plates thudding, and peered down at Harry, then reached out with their left hand; leather bracers on his wrist covered in coloured stones, and a Centaurs large hand gripped his head. Harry braced himself, hoping the Centaur wasn't about to twist his head off.
The Centaur deliberated for a time "Your hair is sticky" they said.
"Stops it going wild." said Harry quietly.
"And your relationship with fate is … if you were a Centaur I would say you were born in a field, under a tree in a thunderstorm." said the Centaur.
"Well, lightning-like scar anyway" said Harry.
"But on a propitious day" the Centaur added, frowning "For you… fate is cruel, and merciful."
Harry shrugged. "It's always been like that."
"The fates have cursed you. One of your parents has used truly wrong magic to change fate. In return, you are…"
"Fate's chew-toy" said Harry, unable to nod, as the Centaur still held his head.
"That is… an adequate description." said the Centaur. "No Centaur could live under the cloud you carry."
"Well, life has its good points" said Harry. "I try to get over the bit where my parents were murdered because of a prophecy, or where I had to die to save us all… and just live. Well, and I got fed some really weird potions at St Mungo's for a week."
"Weird potions?"
"The Strangest dreams" said Harry. He blinked "Can't remember that week at all. Kept dreaming the weirdest things."
"Hmm" said the Centaur "Special mushroom soup for visions."
"Eh. It tasted of strawberries" said Harry.
"I love Strawberry, and hate mushrooms. This potion. I will have it." said the Centaur. "Your foal is … if she was an adult, we would want to try her."
"Well, she's only a teenager, so she's trying me instead," said Harry, "I really am sorry she ruined things, but, she just wanted her mum and dad to be together. Which is odd, as she complains when we kiss in front of her. Still, she is a teenager."
"I am so glad my youngest has her own foals now" said the Centaur "There is a joy in watching her losing her mind."
The Centaur let Harry's head go, wheeled and trotted back to the line of centaurs, and took up their lance. "I vote that we should wage war on the humans" they said. Harry felt a little betrayed; they'd established common ground and everything.
"War?" asked another Centaur, with a long 'ponytail' "That would go badly."
"Can you be sure? The humans' have destroyed the stars linkage to fate!" said the one that Harry thought he'd been getting to know.
"I do Not need to read the stars to count heads. There are a lot of humans, and not many of us." said the pony-tailed Centaur.
"And that is our lot from now on. No more seeing fate in the stars." said the 'friendly' one.
"Have?" asked Harry, wondering "Have any of you heard of the Hubble Space Telescope?" Hermione had gone on about it at length.
"The what?" asked the rightmost Centaur who hadn't spoken.
"The muggles put a telescope in space, where the air can't make the image wobble, and it takes the most amazing pictures." said Harry. "There's this one they took, that's full of starlight from billions of years ago."
"Billions?" asked a Centaur.
"Well, light travels at, like the speed of light." said Harry "It's not instant. So the faint light arriving at the Hubble is from I guess, a billion years ago."
"We need to see that" said the Centaur in the middle, that Harry felt he recognised the voice of. Aesculpus or something.
Harry wondered. She'd definitely have it. "I'll just apparate off and get a picture then?" he asked.
The middle centaur snorted impatiently, and… had they stamped a hoof?
Harry apparated to Hermione's parents house, and nearly splinched himself in his hurry.
He knocked on the back door, and Hermione's mum looked up from a magazine on the kitchen table. She made a waving gesture.
Harry let himself in.
"Harry, you're looking very serious Wizard? You realise Hermione's not here?" said Dr Francis Granger (DDS). She looked like Hermione, but without the floofy hair. Her dad kept his hair really short.
"Have you got a book with Hubble telescope pictures?" asked Harry. "I sort of need some?"
"Well, we've got a framed copy of the first one – the Deep Field image." said Francis "Hermione got us a magical magnifier that works through the glass, you can see practically forever."
"Can I borrow it?" asked Harry "I'm pretty sure I'll get it back."
"So this is something complicated?" asked Francis, lifting her bushy eyebrows. Those were definitely the prototype for Hermione's monsters.
"Erm. Yes" said Harry, and he had an idea.
Francis left the kitchen and came back a minute later holding a large framed photo of stars.
Harry took out the Elder wand "Francis, pop it on the table will you?"
Francis did, and stood back. Harry cast a gemino on the framed photo, and with a loud pop, there was a second framed photo.
"Oh, a copy. Hermione said copies don't last too well?"
"Oh, this'll last long enough" said Harry, pocketing the Elder wand, in time for Francis to hand Harry a folding magnifier from her pocket. Harry recognised it as coming from the instrument store in Diagon Alley.
The Centaurs examined the framed poster.
"Where is this?" asked one.
"A patch of sky that looks dark to a normal, or even magical telescope" said Harry. He got out the magnifier.
The nearest Centaur bent low over the print with the magnifier "The… the zinnias at Abercombe avenue will flower a month early." they said.
The other Centaurs snorted, "That is needlessly detailed." said one.
"Well mars is not too bright tonight" said Harry.
"Hush." said (Harry was fairly sure Aesculpus.)
The Centaurs took turns to hold the framed poster, while another used the magnifier. For what had to be hours. Harry's feet hurt and he wanted to move. His toes jiggled in his boots.
"You have done well, Snake speaker" said a Centaur "This old photograph holds centuries of useful study. Acquire more… and we will consider the debt paid, as long as every Centaur has copies and a magnifier."
Harry tried not to slump or cheer. "I'll … get right on that" he said.
"By the new moon, or your favourite teapot will break" said the Centaur with the magnifier.
Harry held back his objection.
Still… they weren't mad at him any more. He apparated home. He walked along the gravel drive, enjoying the scrunch of gravel under his boots, and the feeling of blood flowing again, and looked out at the gardens, and ignored the squeals of children coming from over the pool fence. The Centaurs were being annoyingly specific, but really, that wouldn't be that bad. What's the worst that could happen™,anyway?
He opened the front door and found a blonde wife leaning casually against the hall table.
"How did it go?" asked Daphne.
"Better than I expected. I will have to supply every centaur with a pile of special photos of the stars, and a magnifier, but they're doing divination again, so they're… well annoyingly specific actually, but at least not angry."
"Centaurs are notoriously vague about the future." said Daphne. "Everyone knows that. And didn't Caph wreck divination?"
"Uh… I had an idea. The Hubble Space Telescope took a super-detailed photo of really old stars years ago, I copied the one at Hermione's parents house. The Centaurs can divine the future from it. I suppose because it's from before Caph did it."
"That makes no sense whatsoever." said Daphne, and she shrugged, "But war is averted, and Caph's off the hook, so well done. I'll thank you properly later" She winked at him.
Life, thought Harry, was pretty damn good.
-==0==-
A week later a Centaur won the Daily Prophet sweepstakes, to the tune of nine hundred Galleons. And the Daily Prophet sports section had a feature on a fairly respectable bookie in Knockturn alley who'd gone broke. He blamed the Centaurs, who he claimed had made unfairly precise bets on Quidditch matches. Through a 'well known Centaur Sympathiser'. The Prophet had used a file photo of Hagrid.
Harry decided not to think about it.
The End.
-==0==-
"Daphne?" asked Harry as he got changed for bed.
"Mmm. Definitely" said Daphne, from the bed, where she was reading something.
"About Caph." said Harry.
"Hmm?"
"We could get her a pony." said Harry. "After all, it's not actually about horses, and it's over anyway."
"Harry, how many children do you have?"
"Twelve" said Harry "Thirteen counting Teddy."
"We don't have room for a dozen horses, and if we did, I'd want my own." said Daphne. "And if we were going to get Horses, we might as well get pegasi."
"Hmm"
"And if we got Pegasi, we might as well get Abraxans. And then we'd need a hunting park" said Daphne.
"Which we don't have." said Harry.
"Apart from the lands around the Château, no" said Daphne.
"The Château with the squatters."
"Yes." said Daphne "Given your recent successes with irate Centaurs…"
"I'm sure we can negotiate." said Harry, getting into bed.
"Harry?" asked Daphne, putting the books down "Go get rid of the sodding squatters, before Summer's over, and we can have a holiday in France with the children, and I can teach them to ride."
"Get rid?"
"Obviously, dear" said Daphne, leaning over and kissing his ear "I'm not asking you to go in and, for example… ruin the forest, breach The Statute, et cetera… but… the children would be with us for a month and a half, then go off to Hogwarts, leaving us all alone in a big château, with lots and lots of cupboards and tables."
"Eh… getting the staff to fix it up would be less work for us" said Harry "And meanwhile we have a pool here. The heater works."
Daphne laid an arm languidly over his chest "You're getting lazy in your old age."
"Efficient" said Harry "And you're the same age as me. He picked up Daphne's arm and kissed the back of her hand extremely slowly.
"Well, you do deserve a reward." said Daphne huskily.
"Hmm… Altair's banned from France. The ICW thing."
"Well, he'll just have to visit friends." said Daphne. "Splitting Caph and Altair up will do them some good."
"Caph's just slamming doors and sulking" said Harry "Can't we just start by getting her a pony?"
"If you insist, husband."
"If you're going to start with that, wife… I have a suggestion for you" said Harry.
"Hmm?"
"We snog, go to sleep, organize stables and a pony, and see how it goes?"
"Oh. Is that all, I thought you'd want to?" said Daphne huskily.
"Daph!" Harry tickled her. "You'd only complain tomorrow anyway."
Fifteen minutes later, Harry was interrupted in his efforts by someone banging on their bedroom door very loudly. He found his pyjamas, wrapped himself in pyjamas and a dressing gown and answered the door while Daphne pulled up the covers and lay crossly.
Harry opened the door to find Caph, in pyjamas. She had her eyes narrowed and arms tightly crossed.
"Dad, I can hear you saying "'Who's a beautiful witch' really loudly. Can you not! Thanks!" said Caph rudely.
"Oh Harry – the blasted imperturbability charms have failed on the walls" said Daphne, sitting up and getting her wand, the sheet no longer covering her bare chest.
"MUM!" explained Caph "Cover up!"
"Caph" said Daphne "You spent a year being fed by me. Don't make out you've never seen a breast."
"But… you and dad were doing it!" said Caph indignantly.
Daphne pulled up the sheet, and cast a charm on the ceiling, them looked over at Caph. "Caph. Dear. You are one of our twelve children. We have two sets of quintuplets who are all fraternal. You are, yourself, a fraternal twin. Many fertilized eggs. We were, obviously, making love long before you were born. It's my hope that we will continue to do so till we die. At which point, you can get over it."
"Other people's parents aren't so bloody noisy!" complained Caph.
"Other people's parents don't have to fight a house that has always had noise problems" said Daphne "Your father managed to appease the Centaurs, and tomorrow we're looking into getting a pony. Your father thinks Abraxans immediately might be a bit abrupt."
"He's got a single-digit serial number Firebolt" said Caph. "When it came out it was – "
"The best broom in the world, yes" said Harry, and he cast an imperturbable charm on the back wall of the bedroom.
"Harry redo the bathroom charms – if the walls are letting sound out, the bathroom will be worse." said Daphne.
Harry tried not to blush, and padded off to get right on that. Daphne fired imperturbability charms onto the left and right walls.
"So Cassiopeia, is that all?" asked Daphne.
"Just like that, I'm getting a pony?" asked Caph.
"Well, you can go with your sisters to mummy's tomorrow, and she can get you all started" said Daphne.
Harry came back from the bathroom "All redone" he said "Why not the boys too?"
"I have no idea if boys even like horses. You don't" said Daphne. "Tracey's brother Roger doesn't."
"All of them" said Harry. "And once they're safe on a pony, she can get them airborne."
"She hasn't got flying horses, Harry." said Daphne "They're expensive."
"Sounds like an Aunt Tori problem then" said Harry.
"No, don't trust her – she's party to the fiasco with the jumper" said Daphne.
"Look mummy, I just wanted to get you and daddy together sooner; you two were all over each other from the day you married." said Caph. "I don't get why you won't talk about before we were born. There's a bloody photo on the wall in the parlour!"
Daphne frowned "What?" she asked.
"You and daddy on the couch at Grimmauld place, daddy snogs you while pawing your bum" said Caph.
"Oh dear" said Harry. "This is going to take a while."
Daphne got out of bed holding the sheet up, then cast something silently, dropping the sheet, and standing fully dressed, in a warm robe.
"How?" asked Caph.
"Switching charms" said Daphne "You should have covered it in Charms by now." And with that, she strode over to her slippers, put them on and left the bedroom, sitting down in the parlour on a couch. She left the scent of Daphne behind.
"Caph, sit down. Harry, I think it's time we explained a few things." said Daphne.
Harry sat down next to Daphne and put his arm over her shoulders. Daphne leaned her head against his shoulder. "Caph. The photo of your father and I kissing on the couch is… it's from three years after we married."
"Two and a bit maybe" said Harry. Daphne gently elbowed him.
"But?" asked Caph, frowning.
"It was intended for a series of interview articles in the Quibbler, but your father got overexcited." said Daphne, with a smug smile.
"I'm only human" said Harry.
"But… that's the photo of my parents kissing when they got married." said Caph, and she frowned more. "Cos there's no photo of you two kissing in the service."
Caph wound her arms tighter over her chest "You… did actually kiss daddy?"
"Of course I did" said Daphne "But the photo didn't come out properly. Dennis Creevy – the photographer, he thinks he put too much flash powder in, though Bill Weasley was watching and he said one day that he thought it looked about the right amount."
"Basically there was a potions stuff-up making the flash powder, and that photo didn't come out at all well" said Harry. He gave Daphne a soft squeeze "At the time, kissing your mum was rather awkward. We hardly knew one another."
"The photo in the middle of the set" said Daphne, pointing at the formal wedding photo of Harry and Daphne "Was what we looked like together for ages."
"But… the three photos and the kiss are … they're your wedding" said Caph. "Everyone says daddy couldn't take his eyes off you."
"Well, in all fairness," said Harry, "that's a hell of a dress."
Daphne summoned a photo, and it flew out of a drawer, and into her hand. She banished it over to Caph, who looked at it, and tilted the picture left and right. Then she practically stuck her glasses-covered face in it.
"It's all too white" she said. "Isn't that just from the flash of magic because daddy and you are like soul-mates?"
"I think we would have noticed that" said Daphne. "Though frankly I was so full of calming draughts I spent the service in a slight daze."
"Calming Draughts!" asked Caph loudly.
"I threw up my breakfast, and mummy had to make me a mix of nutritive potion and calming draughts to stop my hands shaking. Hers were shaking too." said Daphne. Harry leaned over and kissed Daphne's temple. Caph stared at her mother, eyes wide.
"You never told me that. I'm so sorry dear. I was… " said Harry tenderly.
"You were doing that aloof, blank thing you do" said Daphne.
"Well, Occulamancy anyway" said Harry "It took so sodding long to learn, but it lets me calm down, well, stop acting stressed anyway."
"Occula-what?" asked Daphne.
"Occulamancy, it's an obscure mental magic for resisting metal attacks," said Harry, "Secret defeating dark lords who can read minds business in the war."
"Which you learnt in Muggle Surry?" asked Daphne.
"Remedial Potions with Snape." said Harry "Crash course, and I didn't have the knack when we went on the run, took me, well most of another year to get it."
Daphne sighed "You know an obscure mental magic. Of course you do."
"Well, I never learnt Legelimancy, for " Harry stopped "It's not mind-reading, but its seeing what the other person is thinking, then making their mind wander to what you want to know about." He stopped and kissed Daphne's temple again "And that's all I know about it, apart from being able to detect it, and stop them looking."
"Ok" said Daphne with a sigh "Caph, dear, this is what our lives were like for years; your father having secrets."
"And being messed up from the war and stuff" interrupted Harry.
"And I was… I was so sure who and what your father was. I didn't take the time to ask, and more importantly, as you're a teenager; I didn't think about who I was. The upshot being that your father admitted he loved me years before I felt that way."
"Before you admitted to having a crush on me." said Harry sarcastically. "Leaving out the purely physical stuff."
"The what?" asked Caph.
"Caph, dear" said Daphne tiredly "Your great-grandmama Greengrass did not know daddy and Mrs Malfoy had concocted such a scheme, and thought we were just in a slightly arranged marriage. Certain people doubted we were … a couple and we had a particularly annoying Yule party at mummy and daddy's house, which resulted in your father and I starting to drink Cognac and … well. He started kissing my hand."
"You two always drink Cognac and kiss on anniversary's" said Caph. "It's revoltingly soppy."
Harry snorted. "We were so uncomfortable with each other, we started out just practising hugging."
"Of course, by the next Yule things had changed a little" said Daphne, and she smiled a small, secret smile.
"We shagged in your grandmother's hall cupboard" said Harry. "God that was fantastic."
Daphne chuckled "I very nearly begged for more after collapsing on the floor." Caph's eyes were large as saucers.
"You What?" asked Harry.
"It was quite excellent, in hindsight" said Daphne, with a soft, tender smile.
"The hall cupboard. But … we've played hide and seek in there. Oh. God…. Were Altair and I conceived there?" asked Caph, going slightly green.
"Don't be ridiculous" said Daphne "All seven of you were conceived on the bed here."
"But we'd been married for three years at that point" said Harry. "So I don't think the photo is over-exposed from a magical light when we kissed. It was nothing special."
"It was naff." said Daphne. "Not terrible but, a one out of ten."
"Our next kiss was pretty naff too" said Harry. Daphne nodded.
"Then we practised snogging." said Daphne "And at no point was there a magical glow, your father and I did not get each other's names appearing on our wrists, and frankly, it was nerve-wracking. But we were both determined to ensure that grandmama – your great grandmama Greengrass didn't hear some nasty rumours and have a heart attack. Your father decided that kissing my hand was a socially acceptable way to placate me, and that it amused him, like dressing up like a thousand-year-old wizard.
"So you see," said Harry, "we drank Cognac in the study at Grimmauld in the evenings, I kissed your mother's hand, and after a few belts of Cognac, we'd try to make a convincing snog." He licked his lips at the memory of Cognac flavoured younger Daphne's lips, her tongue.
"Whoa" said Caph "You claim that all that kissing and snogging was just for Great-grandmama Greengrasses benefit?"
Harry nodded "You get it" he smiled.
"That's the biggest load of horse shit I've ever heard" said Caph. "You two … you were just… looking for an excuse to snog!"
"Well, we were working up to shagging, actually, as Great-aunt Serafina started casting a chastity detection charm" said Daphne.
"Who's she?" asked Caph.
"She died of old age" said Daphne. "She would have been your great-great-aunt."
"Working up to shagging?" said Caph "You overdid it."
"Caph… we were just nineteen, it's only four years older than you, and we hadn't chosen each other."
"Mummy, it has been widely reported that you have said you are lucky because you would never have chosen a wizard like daddy, and that you had terrible taste in wizards." said Caph.
"Your mother wasn't my first choice but… as you said, your mother was what I needed in life, a sensible, organised business genius. Who sings beautifully." said Harry.
He looked over at Daphne, who was blushing.
"Mummy! You're blushing!" exclaimed Caph.
"Well I take my makeup off before going to bed dear" said Daphne. "Spots, and filthy pillow-cases if you don't."
"Personally I love her freckles." quipped Harry.
"And you mummy, you got the actual Man who Conquered; and people say daddy's very handsome. I don't see why they say that." said Caph. "I think neither of you told the truth about anything for ages."
"Only feelings" said Harry, and he froze "They were confusing, and I'd dumped my old girlfriend… it was all a mess."
"So what we're saying is" said Daphne "That parallel universe Harry and Daphne's aren't magically super-lovebirds. We had a lot of … disagreements in the first several years of marriage."
"We're very different people." said Harry.
"From very different backgrounds" said Daphne, nodding.
"And you two are Witch Weekly's couple of the year every year" said Caph "The Weasleys find it revolting."
"Bill and Fleur should be taking it out every year, it's just that Harry's more famous" said Daphne.
Caph looked thoughtful at that.
"So please don't do it again" said Daphne.
"Fine!" spat Caph "But this is all about making me feel bad for complaining about daddy speaking parseltongue loudly. Why the hell is he talking it to you anyway? You don't understand it?"
Harry tried not to blush.
"It's all about the intent, darling. When you're older, I'll explain about the importance of intent." said Daphne. Harry glanced over at Daphne and her face did not betray the awesome parenting lie she'd just delivered.
Harry smiled to himself briefly – that was his wife, who had a poker face unless you tickled her. "Well, you're getting a pony." said Harry to Caph, "Now go to bed. Because your mother and I need to spend some quality time alone."
"Ugh" said Caph, turning and stomping off.
Harry closed the bedroom door behind them both. "Think she's interested in a pony?" he asked.
Daphne nodded "Come to bed dear."
Harry fell asleep later, being used as a cuddle pillow. There were worse fates.
-==0==-
Later, Harry went to see Hermione one evening totally not to escape seven small, crying people.
Well, and Nott ,as Hermione had moved into his house. Which was called the Monkey's fist, apparently, as a Floo-address.
The Granger-Nott's were, as usual, in the Library, but as a concession to Harry, out books down and sat on one of the library couches. Nott put his arm over Hermione's shoulders. Hermione was wearing a jersey and jeans, and Nott was wearing a white shirt and waistcoat, with a pair of dark trousers on. They both wore, Harry was surprised to see, perfectly ordinary trainers.
Harry explained about the consequences of Caph's actions… both his one, and the … fairly large, and still growing number of Caph's in the um… all the universes.
"And that's why" Harry finished "The prophecy called her the Destroyer. That upset the link between the fates of universes, and, well the universes. It's ruined divination."
Hermione had a momentary smile before she said, in a tone Harry felt sounded a bit fake "Oh no. They'll have to remove Divination as a course at Hogwarts."
Harry frowned at her.
"I don't know why you're glaring at Hermione" said Theo Nott, looking even more like a smirking rabbit. "It's not like we planned for your daughter to steal a dimension jumper to ruin multiple universes."
Harry gave Nott a good glaring at and the git shrank into the couch a bit.
"He really does glare just as much as she does" said Hermione.
"How are your latest litter anyway?" asked Theo Nott.
"Tertiary group" said Harry.
"Twelve, and you get called out for having litters" said Theo Nott. "We only have dear Hugo and Rose."
"Like normal people" said Hermione. "Is that some inherited predilection?"
"Apart from the obvious" said Nott, snorting.
"Might be a side-effect of the spell I use to make pregnancy painless and easy" admitted Harry "it's hard to say, as the arithmancy's apparently extremely complex."
"I dare say" said Theo Nott. "Rose is tipped to be prefect next year."
"How are the babies" asked Hermione.
"They're fine. But I thought I should come see you two, as the jumper's are your invention, Nott." said Harry.
"Harry?" asked Hermione "How are the Centaurs winning on quidditch?"
"I um" said Harry. "Gave them a way to do sort-of divination."
"You WHAT?" asked Hermione "After what happened in your life, from Divination?"
Harry thought about that for a moment. Technically, if divination, well, Prophecies didn't exist, his parents would never have been murdered. He looked up and Hermione was looking intently at him.
"Look – they wanted to try Caph for um… destroying divination, I had to do something" said Harry.
"What in Merlins's name did you do?" asked Theo Nott. "That sort of causal rupture should make Divination totally impossible."
Harry looked at Nott who added weakly "hypothetically, of course, based on what you told us tonight."
"What I did" said Harry "Was give them the Hubble telescope picture. They use magnifiers – I borrowed both from your mum, Hermione, and they um… well they see the future in that, instead. It's all from millions of years in the past, and importantly, it won't work pas when…"
"Your eldest daughter destroyed part of the fabric of space-time." said Nott.
"Mum said you just borrowed a magnifier" said Hermione.
"I u, duplicated the framed poster" explained Harry. "That pacified them, they decided not to go to war with humans, or to, more importantly, want to kill my daughter."
Hermione closed her eyes and sighed "You gave them a way to make Prophecies still. You twit."
"But the stars they're seeing are like millions of years old" said Harry.
"The stars they used to use were millions of years old" said Theo Nott, scratching his forearm. "Those ones are billions of years old." Nott turned to Hermione "Darling ,is he always this bad at saving things?"
"Yes" said Hermione.
"Nott. Your sleeves" said Harry.
Theo Nott undid his sleeves and, smirking slid his right cuff up, and showed Harry his right forearm. A raised scar, like a cursed wound spelt out 'No Regrets.'
"I really have no regrets" said Theo Nott, with an annoying little smile.
"Oh you" said Hermione softly.
"Other arm" said Harry, deeply suspicious.
Nott's other arm had 'I am a free man.'
Nott spoke up "Pater was, obviously incensed to see these scars on my arms end of fifth year. I got the idea from Umbridge's cursed quill. Pinching it was a pain but, worth every drop of blood."
Nott smiled, looking Harry in the eyes "Pater rather took it out on me, but Mother had already fled to France, so until you stopped Tom Riddle, I was a bit of a whipping-boy for Pater, but he just couldn't take me to see the bald bastard."
"You're a very sick man" said Harry.
"What? Because I love brilliant, strong witches ?" said Theo Nott. "At least neither of my children has destroyed part of the space-time continuum."
"You needed to keep the damn things locked up better" said Harry.
"After her thefts, we moved them to our Gringotts vault," said Nott, "And my burglary consultant explained how to break into a Gringotts vault, so I built protections around the jumpers that make it practically impossible for anyone to use them."
"You should just destroy them" said Harry.
"They're not capable of damaging our timeline" said Nott "I could hardly be expected to anticipate the… creative chaos Cassiopeia wrought."
"Hermione?" asked Harry "You didn't arrange for all of this just to destroy divination, did you?"
Hermione looked Harry straight in the eyes and said "Harry, do you really think I'm an evil super-villain? I'm an undersecretary."
"Though we are looking for endorsements for her campaign for Minister in next year's election?" asked Nott.
"Pretty please Harry?" asked Hermione. "There'll be a bill just to ensure magical orphans get visits from social workers."
"One speech," conceded Harry, "One speech. I'm doing it for the orphans."
Harry was just about to leave when something occurred to him – a question he had not asked.
"Hermione?" asked Harry "Hypothetically speaking, have you used a Jumper?"
"Hypothetically speaking." said Hermione. Theo Nott smiled toothily. Oh they both had.
"Not that I'm blaming you" said Harry "But… are there other universes where… where the contract didn't happen?"
Hermione sighed "I found one quite easily. You married Ginny, had three children, and were a highly successful Auror, rising to be head of the DMLE."
Harry smiles just a little, and Hermione cut him off.
"– Then you got divorced" said Hermione "And your children disliked you for being a workaholic."
Harry got the strange floaty feeling he hadn't had in years. He swallowed with difficulty. "So" he croaked out ",not bragging," he said "I said years ago, to Michael, I would have been a workaholic Auror."
"To be blunt, Potter" said Theo Nott "you're comically happy with her. And having known her at school – she was an uptight music geek, forever going on crank diets."
"Stop there," said Harry, "Hermione doesn't respect Daphne enough as it is."
"I admit" said Hermione "That I have … in the past mistaken her for a dumb blonde."
"Who runs the most successful business in Britain." said Harry, and he couldn't help smiling.
"Look Potter – her office is at home, not at work. She comes in, straightens things out then casually announces we're expanding into Europe – and actually has a plan." said Nott, "Though leaving Tracey in charge on a day-to-day basis is savage."
"Look Nott, you're well paid. Ludicrously well paid. Well paid enough to indulge in making universe-destroying toys." said Harry.
"God, he sounds just like her" complained Nott.
"They do," said Hermione, "and that salacious photo they have in the parlour – going at each other like wild beasts. Their children can see it."
"The children have seen worse" said Harry blandly. " Though we do still have children interfering on our… bed time."
"Because you have a dozen!" said Nott loudly. "Which you can afford, but still it's a bit… there are charms, you know."
"Not explaining – as I said," said Harry. "Side effect of not wanting Daphne to vomit her way through a pregnancy."
"To be blunt, Potter, nobody ever thought Daphne Greengrass would mellow out, but she looks at you like you hung the moon and stars." said Nott. "And is now the sort of smug, rich witch they all seem to want to be."
"Smug?" asked Hermione to Nott "am I smug?"
"You're not smug, of course." said Nott hastily. Hermione gave a little smile.
"But I like to think you're happy." said Nott.
"You'd know if she wasn't" said Harry. Hermione glared at him, and really, it was a pretty ineffective glare. She was someone's mum, in a big library with her husband, and Harry thought – she didn't seem to fight with Nott for fun. Harry dropped that line of thinking hastily.
"So, Hermione, I take it that you actually approve of Daphne these days?" asked Harry.
"Fine" said Hermione "You're mellow and happy and have a ludicrous number of completely mad children. And she looks at you and smiles. Which shows she's losing her critical facilities really."
"Tracey sometimes gives her shit about you," volunteered Nott, "you know, reading out bits from the Prophet, and she just lifts her nose and says, "My husband is the light of my life."
Harry's eyes prickled. "Well yeah" said Harry, and he turned and took a step to the door.
"Well, at least on average, there are more happy Harry and Daphne's" said Hermione from behind him.
Harry turned "Hermione, if you say 'for the greater good' I do have to report that, you do know?" he said.
"Oh please," said Hermione, "That was Grindelwald's slogan. I'm not a monster. Your daughter stole a jumper and accidentally changed the multiverse to ensure that more of her parents married. I certainly couldn't have worked out the arithmancy of something so complicated, just to enact some sort of vendetta against Divination It would be inhumanly complex to calculate."
And Theo Nott grinned briefly.
"And Divination being basically nonfunctional means no more children of prophecy." added Hermione "I rather think your Caph is the last."
Harry frowned at her.
"Not that I could calculate that" said Hermione, with a faint smirk.
"No more hypothetically doing multi-universe-altering things" said Harry.
"Potter, that was your eldest Daughter." said Nott "our children report she is tipped as 'Student most likely to be a dark lady on graduation.'"
Harry shook his head "Centaurs say nothing of it."
Hermione shook her head and huffed. "You're still doing it." she said.
Harry shrugged "Anything to keep my friends and family safe" he said.
"Anything?" said Nott.
"We had a discussion before my last meeting with the Centaurs." said Harry "I took precautions, and worked out a legally defensible course of action, in case anything went wrong."
"She got him to consider a backup plan" said Hermione. "That's a miracle enough."
"I'm leaving now." said Harry "I'd better go read my little ones a bedtime story."
"Not Beedle" said Hermione.
"Not for ages" said Harry "for reasons, obviously. Probably the cat in the hat."
"What's that about ?" Nott asked Hermione quietly.
"It's anarchy" said Hermione "Harry Potter… are you trying to make the tertiary group anarchists?"
"I've got Uncle George and their siblings to do that" said Harry "they just like the pictures."
Harry left.
"So, This cat in the hat book…." asked Nott behind Harry as he left.
The crush of apparation ended, and Harry staggered on the gravel by the kitchen door. He went inside, and Jimmy was pouring something green into jars. Harry nodded and went to the office door.
Daphne was sitting at her desk, sorting a pile of parchments, and signing some.
"Hi honey. I'm home" said Harry, and she looked up and smiled.
"Well?" asked Daphne.
"They're terrible liars." said Harry "Hermione admitted that she has checked on other univeres… did you know I'm happier, long-term with you?"
"Well of course you are," said Daphne. "I'm prepared to tolerate all sorts of things, just because you're kind, and handsome and clever enough not to be boring."
Harry walked over and sat on the corner of her desk "I'm guessing Nott used the computer to do the arithmancy behind their plan, and they used Caph as a cats-paw."
Daphne shook her head "That's terrible." she said "Terrible." she added softly. "Though I am biassed… more universes with me with you seems like an acceptable situation."
"The kids?"
"Asleep." said Daphne. "Hence working. Go check them dear?"
Harry got up, leaned over, kissed her on the cheek and walked off to check on the children.
"On the cheek?" said Daphne behind him "you're upset?"
"I just thought I really should go check on them" said Harry, and behind him Daphne snorted.