Chapter 1: Reality Check
Yesterday I told my friends goodbye, and later today I was going to face my family. I was becoming nervous but I had to put on a smile for them. The moment I sensed King Kai coming I put on my best smile. When I saw my little man cry all I wanted to do was hold him. The fact he blames himself was also heartbreaking. "No, Gohan. It'll never be your fault. If anyone is to blame is me. Calm down, my perfect little guy." When he finally calms down, I braced myself for the news. "Daddy is so proud of you. Always remember that. Ok?"
He had a big smile as he nodded. After taking a moment we finally told him. We told him how he's going to be a big brother. The look of shock and hurt were painful to see. Then he looked at me angrily as he cried. "You knee and you choose to stay away! WHY? DADDY!" He broke down and I tried to continue looking at him in the eyes. I felt awful at how this came to be. I do wish I was there to hold him. Yo hold both of them. "I don't want to be a big brother! I WANT YOU, DADDY!"
My broken son. It pains me to do this. But how else was I supposed to keep you all safe? I hope one day he sees I'm doing this out of love. "I know right now it hurts, kiddo, but it'll be ok." I don't know if I said that for him or myself. "I'm really going to miss you and your mom, and even your sibling." He then hugged Chichi and placed a hand over her stomach. I wish I could do the same. After me and Chichi mouthed an 'I love you' all connection was gone. Now I'm left just standing there, staring into space.
At that moment, I felt a heavy weight on my shoulders. My chest was tight; even my hands felt numb. Not to mention how my vision was a blur and my mouth was dry. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I just said goodbye. I said goodbye to my beloved Chichi, who I promised to forever be by her side. I said goodbye to my son, who I won't be around to see him follow his dream. I said goodbye to my unborn child that I... that I... Oh, Kami! What have I done?
I won't be alive to see them be born. Or hold them. Hear them say daddy. Watch Gohan play with them. Watch them crawl for the first time. Give them sweets before bed, after Chichi said no. I'll miss everything. Kami, what have I done?
I won't be alive to hold Chichi. Won't be able to play with Gohan. Won't be able to get Chichi to say yes, after telling our kids no. Won't be able to watch Gohan become a man. I want them happy and safe, but I wish I was also there.
I would do everything for them. And that's what I just did. I'm staying away, for them. That's when my vision cleared, and I was sitting down. When did that happen? "Oh, good. You're back." When did I leave? "As I was trying to say. There's a place where dead fighters go. Want to go?" I just looked at him. What was I supposed to say? I just said goodbye to my family. "You don't have to decide now. When you're ready let me know." Again, I just blinked at him.