Turning Point

Summary: Buddie fic. Caught off guard by a sudden self-revelation, Eddie is faced with a crossroads that could lead to the point of no return for his relationship with Buck. Meanwhile, Buck is trying to figure out why his best friend is suddenly pushing him away, determined to get answers and fix whatever has broken.

Disclaimer: I do not own 9-1-1 or anything associated with the show.

Author Notes: Writing this fic puts me in such a happy place, so I hope you enjoy reading.

Set after season 6.

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Chapter 6

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Thursdays had never felt so long. They hadn't spoken much about the upcoming dinner, not beyond Eddie telling Buck he would meet him there once Chris was settled. Whenever Buck opened his mouth to say something, he felt awkward – a feeling that was only intensified by Chimney's teasing. Even inside his own apartment, his mind refused to slow down, his body on edge as he changed his outfit for what must have been the fifth time.

When the Uber arrived, he took a quick swig of the strongest alcohol he owned for Dutch courage, and doublechecked his reflection twice more before finally setting out the door. He barely made it two steps before he rushed back inside to change his shirt one last time, pulling on his yellow shirt instead and buttoning it up as he made his way out.

Eddie had seen him in various states, from bloody and muddy, to clean and sharply dressed, and also undressed. So why Buck found himself overthinking and obsessing over how he looked now, it made no sense to him. It wasn't a big deal. It wasn't. Except, as his heart skittered in his chest, he couldn't help but feel it was.

"Big night?" the Uber driver asked, looking at Buck through the rearview mirror.

Buck stopped chewing on the pad of his thumb and tried to still himself. "I'm going on a date?"

"Is that you asking me or telling me?" The driver laughed, and Buck could see the smile reflected in the man's eyes through the mirror. "Must be someone pretty special, huh?"

"Yeah…" Buck nodded, attempting to swallow his nerves. "He is."

Seeing Maddie and Chimney at the table as he walked into the restaurant had him panicking all over again, a quick scan of the place showing no sign of Eddie yet. He offered up a nervous smile as he reached the table and took a seat.

"Hey," he said, voice somewhat strained, betraying his anxiousness.

"Buck!" Maddie beamed at him, hers and Chimney's eyes flickering behind him and to the door. "Where's your date?"

"Running late." Buck pulled his phone from his pocket and looked down at the last messages he had received from Eddie. Nothing new, his last message letting Buck know that Carla got delayed but was on her way.

Doubt and fear skirted the edges of his thoughts, and he tried his best to push them away. But still, they whispered to him, clashing with the noises of the restaurant. What if Eddie didn't show? What if it was too soon for him? There were a million reasons why this was a bad idea and Buck could feel each one of them weighing down on him, the increasing pressure causing his hand to tighten around his phone as his eyes unfocused.

Maddie stretched her arm across the table and gave his arm a squeeze, offering up a gentle and warm smile. No words needed to be said, her eyes saying it all.

I've got you.

Buck took a breath and steadied himself, sliding his phone away.

"Don't worry, Buck," Chimney said. "If she doesn't show, then she wasn't…" But his words trailed off as his brow furrowed and his eyes moved toward the entrance of the restaurant behind Buck. "Hey, isn't that-"

"Eddie…" Buck finished for him, breathing out the name like a prayer that had been answered. Turning in his seat, he watched as Eddie approached the nearest waiter who pointed him in their direction, and Buck swore, the second his eyes met Eddie's, he felt like everything stopped.

All that worry slipped away, all the doubt melting as warmth spread throughout him, the chatter and clatter around him fading away, as he watched Eddie approach. Eddie, who was dressed in a black suit and shirt, the corner his mouth hitched up more on the left in a smile that was soft and alluring. Eddie, who was there, looking like that, for Buck. And it took Buck's breath away.

He slowly pushed up from his seat as Eddie approached, unsure of what to do with himself. He knew his way around a date, but this was different. This was Eddie, his best friend, and Buck found himself realising he had no idea what the rules were for a situation such as this. But when Eddie placed his hand on Buck's upper arm and looked deep into eyes, Buck found he didn't care about rules.

"Sorry I'm late," Eddie said, tearing his eyes away from Buck and looking to Maddie and Chimney instead. "My usual babysitter is on a date."

"Wait, Carla is on a date? Then who's watching Chris?" Buck questioned, but Eddie's chuckle and raised eyebrow had him realising his mistake, and he smiled. "Oh…"

"Jeez, Buck," Chimney spoke up, drawing their attention back to him and Maddie, who were now stood up. "If you couldn't get your girlfriend to come, all you had to do was say so."

"There is no girlfriend," Buck answered, and though he glanced to Chimney, he focused more on Maddie, her gaze flicking between him and Eddie, her face unreadable.

"But you are dating?"

"Yes."

"And Eddie is here because…" But Chimney's words trailed off as his eyes widened, realisation clear on his face.

But it wasn't Chimney's reaction that had Buck feeling worried. "Maddie… say something, please."

There were tears in her eyes as she bit her lip, then she all but launched herself around the table, the smile on her face growing as she threw her arms around Buck's neck in an embrace, pulling him down to her height. Before any of them could say anything, she grabbed Eddie and dragged him into the hug also, squeezing them both tightly to the longest time.

When she finally let go, she whispered in Buck's ear. "I hoped it would be Eddie. I really hoped."

The look in her eyes had Buck narrowing his eyes at her. He should have realised of course. Maddie knew him. She had practically raised him, so of course she had noticed. Hell, she had even gone so far as to tease him about it once before and now he was beginning to see that she had known long before he did. She had put it together long before he had ever truly understood what he was feeling.

"I'm going to kill her," Chimney spoke up, slowly sliding back down into his seat, his eyes staring at the table but looking as if he wasn't truly seeing it.

"Who are we killing?" Eddie asked, making the move to also take a seat.

"Hen," Chimney bit out, and he stared directly at Eddie, pointing toward him. "She knew, didn't she? She knew and she's been holding out on me."

Eddie played innocent, putting on a pout and shrugging as he looked between Chimney and Buck. "Hen doesn't know… why would Hen know? I mean, it's not like she figured it out or anything."

"Oh no, don't you play that game with me," Chimney pushed. "She knew and you know she knew and she knew I didn't know, but… now that means she knows I know?"

"Relax, Chim," Maddie answered, patting his arm in sympathy and amusement. "Don't think too much about it."

But Chimney scoffed as he picked up the menu to open it. "You're not the one that has to work with them."

"Hey! I am a pleasure to work with!" Buck countered.

"Oh sure," Chimney drawled out, rolling his eyes and looking to Maddie, almost imploring. "Do you know how insufferable your brother can be? And now… now he has back up."

As the conversation continued, Buck breathed in deep and smiled, appreciating the scene in front of him. Every so often, Eddie would reach for his hand without truly looking, giving it a gentle squeeze and keeping it in his grasp. Even when he was locked in conversation or argument with Chimney, his hand remained with Buck, his thumb absently stroking at Buck's skin, a constant reminder that he was there for, and with, Buck.

There might have been a million reasons why the date was a bad idea, but as Buck sat there, entranced by Eddie and unable to tear his eyes away, he couldn't think of a single one.

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Eddie wasn't sure what time it was as they lay in the darkness of his room, content and comfortable. The truth was, he didn't care. He was far too at peace for that, one arm propping his head up a little as other was stretched behind Buck's neck, his fingertips lazily caressing the skin of Buck's shoulder. He hummed occasionally as he listened to Buck talk, enjoying the enthusiasm in his tone.

Buck had been so quiet over the last few days, withdrawn and stuck in his own head, that to see him so relaxed and back to his usual self, it gave Eddie comfort.

"I just can't believe that Maddie asked who made the first move," Buck continued on, letting go of a light laugh.

"I can't believe you actually told her," Eddie teased in return, nudging Buck slightly and smiling down at him.

"Well, you did kiss me first."

"Yeah, and you kissed me back." Eddie laughed, before sobering up slightly and shifting so he could get a better look at Buck. There was enough light for him to make out Buck's smile and the shine in his eyes, but Eddie tried not to let himself get distracted. "Why did you kiss me back?"

It wasn't the first time the question had come to mind, it was just the first he had dared to say it out loud. Buck laughed, eyes flickering up to meet Eddie's.

"You wanting your ego stroked or something? Want me to tell you how you make me go weak in the knees?"

"I'm serious," Eddie answered. "When I kissed you, I expected you to run out the door. I didn't expect, well… this."

Buck was silent a moment before letting go of a sigh and pushing himself up so he was seated, back to Eddie. Though he occasionally glanced Eddie's way, as he spoke, he kept his attention on his hands in his lap. "When you first joined the 118, it was no secret that I might have kind of hated you. You came in and immediately everyone jumped on the Eddie train and I was still just this goofy kid that couldn't get anything right. Then, the more time I spent with you, the more I liked it. I liked being around you, you and Chris. I felt safe and seen and I liked it. Then stuff kept happening, kept getting in the way, and I figured I wasn't exactly your type and it wouldn't work anyway. It couldn't work. So, I was just happy with being there. Even though I knew it would never be more."

Eddie sat up and shifted until he could see Buck more clearly. "Why didn't you say something?"

"Like what, Eddie?" Buck laughed, but it was dry and humourless. "You're my best friend and I don't exactly have a great track record with relationships."

Silence settled for a breath, and Eddie thought back to all those times Buck had been there for him, and not just him, but Chris too. All the little things he did that made things easier, and all those moments that, he began to realise, truly made Eddie feel at home in L.A.. Each celebration and milestone, each Christmas and heartbreak. Buck was there.

"Ana," Eddie breathed out, realisation hitting him hard and weighing down heavily on his chest. "When you were trying to convince me to break it off with her, you told me you know how it felt when someone wasn't all the way in. I thought you were just talking about Abby, but you weren't, were you?"

Buck was quiet and Eddie felt an aching in his chest. For weeks after coming to terms with how he truly felt about Buck, he had tried to push him away. He had tried his best to create a wall between them, so he didn't have to face the fear of Buck walking away from him and in doing so, he began to realise, he had pushed that very pain onto Buck that he had wanted to avoid for himself.

"I should have…" he started, but Buck cut him off.

"You didn't know."

"Buck-"

"It's okay, Eddie," Buck interrupted, turning to face him.

But Eddie shook his head and moved closer to Buck. "No, it's not. You always act like everyone else has more worth than you. You treat yourself like an afterthought and no… Buck, no. It's not okay. You matter and I should have been there for you. I should have noticed." He grabbed Buck's hand with his own and placed his other on the side of Buck's face, forcing those bright eyes to lock with his. "I'm sorry, Buck. I'm sorry you had to wait so long for me to catch up."

Buck leaned forward, resting his forehead against Eddie's as he closed his eyes. "I love you, Eddie. So no, when you kissed me, I didn't run because there is nowhere else I would rather be than right here. With you."

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A/N: More to come soon!