*** This chapter broke my heart to write but it's necessary. The song is so fitting too. This chapter has a bit of back and forth in the POV. hopefully it makes sense. Enjoy. ***

SONG: We found each other…I helped you out of a broken place…You gave me comfort…But falling for you was my mistake…So call out my name…Call out my name when I kiss you, so gently…I want you to stay…I want you to stay even though you don't want me ~ Call Out My Name by The Weeknd

Chapter 17

Malia:
Stiles knows something is wrong. But he won't push me to say what. I'm hating myself for keeping this from him, but that premonition scares me too much to tell him. I would lose my mind if something happened to him, especially because of me.

I couldn't corner Theo until class on Thursday to ask him what he meant by what he said. It was lab day, so it was easier to talk without being reprimanded. He grabbed a beaker, and I snatched it from him, holding it hostage.

"What did you mean on Tuesday?" I asked.

"Just what I said. She knows where you are?" he repeated setting up the rest of the experiment.

"Who is she?" I narrowed my eyes at him. He quirked a brow and leaned in closer.

"The Desert Wolf." He whispered.

I jerked back away from him, my hand squeezing the glass until it shattered, the sting of shards piercing my skin.

"Miss Tate." Mr. Turner sighed.

"Sorry, I don't know what happened."

"I'll help her clean this up." Theo volunteered grabbing my bleeding hand and leading me to the sink behind us.

"What are you?" I whispered as he gently brushed glass shards out of my hand.

"I'm… a messenger." He said taking some tweezers and examine my hand to pull any embedded glass from it.

"So, you work for her." I growled.

"Hardly, I can't stand her. But I don't have a choice."

"What do you mean, you don't have a choice? You could choose not to work for a woman that wanted to kill an innocent child."

"You still think you're innocent. I've seen your real eye color." He snorted.

"I was innocent when she tried to kill me 8 years ago." I retorted.

He looked at me in surprise but shook it off.

"Either way, I really don't have a choice. She's… holding something over me. I can't… I have to do what she says."

"Blackmail? With what?"

"That's… a long story. What you need to know is that she sent me here to give you a message." He answered, rinsing my now glass free hand in cold water before taking some antiseptic and dribbling it over the cuts. I hissed and tried to jerk away but he held firm.

"What's the message?" I asked warily.

"Either you come to her, or she will come to you."

"Where is she?"

"I'm not sure. She usually texts me with messages or whatever." He shrugged.

"So how am I supposed to go to her if I don't even know where she is?"

"Once I tell her the message was received, she will send me the location and time."

"Why is she doing this?"

He stopped bandaging my hand and looked me in the eye.

"You know why."

I took a shaky breath.

"I will tell you this though." He glanced up at me and I caught a hint of sympathy in his eyes as they flashed from gold back to green quickly. "She knows about Stiles. She knows your seeing him. She knows he is important to you."

I could feel my eyes sting and my hand tried to clench but Theo was still holding it to finish putting the bandage on. My heart tripped and beat in double time, and I swallowed hard, nodding.

Stiles:

Somethings going on with Malia. But she won't talk about it. She's been preoccupied for the last week since we got back from the lake house. She's been clinging to me desperately yet still remaining a little distant. The others have noticed as well and asked her, but she just says she's got a lot on her mind and she's not ready to talk about it yet. A few times I've found her having hurried whispered conversations with her lab partner outside of class but when I approach they stop talking and she'll give me a smile and kiss and she's back to clinging. I don't mind the clinging, but it's reminiscent of her first few weeks of school. Except I don't think this is nerves, at least not in the same way.

Now, I'm sitting in my desk chair spinning in circles trying to figure out what is going on with my girlfriend even though I should be concentrating on my econ homework. Right before last class, she said she had to take care of something, but she would come by after my practice so not to wait for her. I barely got a kiss goodbye before she was gone.

My mind wasn't on practice, and I ended up just calling it a day and telling coach I was sick before changing out and heading home. Dad didn't question why I was home early instead telling me he was working a double and would check in with me later. He had been gone about 30 minutes when Malia cam climbing through my window. She gave me a forced smile and straddled my lap.

"Hey." She said softly, not at all like herself. I sighed heavily.

"Malia, please tell me what's going on. I know something is wrong. You're not acting like yourself. What's wrong?" I asked again for what felt like the 50th time in the last few days. Her eyes teared up and she looked away.

"I just have a lot on my mind. I promise once I get it sorted out, I will tell you. Can you just… be patient please?"

I studied her and she looked almost pained. I badly wanted her to just tell me what's going on so I can help her. Instead, I nodded, needing to give her the space to figure it out and hope soon she tells me.

"Okay. But know you can talk to me."

"I know." She kissed me softly, wrapping her arms around my neck and laying her head on my shoulder. Sighing I stroked her back.

"Can I ask you a favor?"

"Of course." I don't know why she asked that, she knows she can ask me anything.

She pulled back to look at me.

"I need to be with you." She whispered. I pulled back and looked at her. Eyes sparkling again and my heart jerked painfully in my chest. What was going on? And why did I suddenly have this fear that it was major? "Please?"

I didn't answer her I just picked her up and carried her to bed where I peeled off every piece of clothing we both had on trailing my lips down her body. Kissing my way back up I grabbed a condom from the night stand. Malia's hands cupped my face, and she gave me a deep lingering kiss.

"Stiles." She breathed pressing her head to my shoulder.

Malia:

I could already feel my heart breaking as I watched Stiles sleep. My fingers traced down his face and over his lips. They twitched before he grabbed my hand and placed a kiss on my fingers and then holding them to him. I leaned in and kissed the pout he makes when he's sleeping, smiling when he tried to follow as I pulled away.

"Where are you going?" he mumbled, eyes still closed as he gripped my hand tighter.

"It's getting late, I have to get home." I whispered. His eyes opened and he blinked at me.

"Okay, I'll take you." He said starting to get up. I pushed him back down.

"No, it's okay. I think I need to run anyway."

"Are you sure?" his eyes already drooping.

"Yeah. I talk to you later." I told him swallowing around the growing lump in my throat. I leaned in and kissed him again. He hummed and smiled before falling back to sleep. I dressed quickly and climbed back out his window.

I had my dad call me out sick for Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. Physically I was okay but emotionally I was a mess. I felt itchy, angry, hurt and I second guessed myself a lot. I ignored calls and text from Stiles, Scott, Allison and Lydia. All asking if I was okay. Telling my dad to tell Stiles I was too sick for visitors when he showed up at the house. The worry in Stiles voice almost broke me. I spent most of my time in bed, flipping through selfies he and I took together.

It was Saturday morning when I got a text from Theo.

THEO: FRIDAY THE 20TH. 5PM. OLD MILITARY BASE IN BEACON HILLS.

My heart immediately sped up along with my breathing. The phone shook in my hands and I clutched it hard. A knock at the door made me jump.

"Malia, open up I know you're there."

Stiles.

Now I was panicking. Was this really my life now? Breaking someone's heart and then going off to meet my own end. Maybe I didn't have to break up with him, maybe I could just tell him there was something I had to take care of and that I would be back. But I don't know if I will be back. I don't know how this will end. And if I don't come back I can't have him just waiting for me. And what if she decides to try to go for him anyway, I can't have him near me.

"Malia, come on. Please open up." He called, knocking again.

I closed my eyes and tried to push my feelings down. I tried to go back to how I was when I first returned to humanity. I tried to feel that void again, but I couldn't. I could only think of the pain I was about to cause him and myself. Climbing to my feet I made my way down the hall. I reached for the knob and braced myself before opening the door.

I stepped onto the porch, closing the door and leaning back against it. My hands were shaking as I clasped the handle behind my back. If I start wringing my hands together he will touch me and if he touches me I will lose my will to do this. As it was he took a step towards me and I had to shake my head, stopping him.

"Malia, what's going on? You haven't been answering my calls or text. Tell me what's wrong?"

"Stiles…" my throat closed, and I had to take a minute to steel myself. I worked hard to fight the sting of tears.

"What, what is it?" he said reaching for me again, I sidestepped him. "What, you don't want me to touch you now?"

"I… I can't do this." I finally said trying to keep my voice as even as possible.

"Do what?" he asked, taking a step back. I lost the fight and wiped at tears. "Malia, you can't do what?"

"There's… I can't do this anymore… us." I told him not able to look at him.

"I don't understand. Since when?" the confusion and distress in his voice urging me to take it back.

"Since, now. I have so much going on. So much to do and I need… I need to think." I pushed myself to say.

"Okay, and you can't do that with me?"

"I need to be alone. I need… Stiles please. I just need to be by myself. We have to break up." I choked out and made the mistake of looking at him. So many emotions warring on his face, denial, pain, pain, betrayal, fear. Finally settling on disbelief.

"No. something else is going on here. Things were fine, we were fine. Better then fine. We're we just… together a few days ago. Tell me what's really going on here Malia, because I don't believe for one minute that you seriously want to break up." He was angry but I could see past that, and it was tearing me apart inside.

"I do." I sighed, shakily.

"Why? Tell me why? Last week we were at the lake house together. There was no problems. Just Tuesday we…" he stopped his jaw ticking as he stared at me. "What changed from then to today?"

"Stiles…"

"The Truth Malia. What happened? What changed?" he demanded. His eyes glazed, his jaw tense and his hands balled into fist.

"I am telling you the truth. I can't do this Stiles. I can't… be with you. I'm sorry, I don't want to hurt you but… you have to go. We can't… goodbye Stiles." I rushed back inside and slammed the door before a sob broke through.

Heartbreak shouldn't feel like this, it shouldn't be this painful. I should be able to take a breath without feeling like I'm dying. My head shouldn't be screaming at me that I did the wrong thing. My body shouldn't be aching trying to force me to go back out there and tell him I lied, that I don't want to break up.

I could hear his stuttering breathing, still on the porch, and then minutes later heavy footsteps and the slamming of the door to his jeep. Sliding to the floor I waited and listened for him to leave. All I heard was his heart pounding and then the sound of his hand slamming down on the steering wheel in 4 quick successions, making me flinch each time, before he started the jeep and peeled off.

My phone was still in my hand. Wiping the tears to clear my vision I typed out a quick reply.

MALIA: GOT IT.

Dropping my phone to the ground I curled up against the door.

Stiles:

I'm not sure what just happened. Staring at the door I couldn't figure out how or why things went so sideways. As much as I wanted to pound on the door and demand she tell me what was really going on I didn't. I walked numbly back to my jeep and sat there.

-If you still want to go on that date, I would love to…

-You were touching me, and kissing me and it felt good, like really good. And I just wanted to keep kissing you…

-Because I really like you, Stiles…

-I just need to be by myself. We have to break up…

-I don't want to hurt you…

-I could never really hurt you...

-I can't… be with you. I'm sorry…

I slammed my fist against the steering wheel repeatedly until all I felt was the pain from it and not my heart breaking. Not thinking, I started the jeep and sped off, I had no direction, and I could already feel myself spiraling.

-We almost lost him. If it hadn't been for Lydia's scream, if she hadn't jump started his heart with her pain. We would have lost him. I almost lost my brother.

All I could see in my mind was Scott lying there bleeding, wolfsbane make him weaker… Hearing Melissa scream and being pulled from the room… Dr. Geyer shouting for Scott to fight.

I froze in the middle of my room. He died, Scott died. Even if it was only a fraction of time he died. I can feel my throat closing, my eyes losing focus. My hands are shaking, and my heart feels like it wants to pound out of my chest. I closed my eyes trying to focus on my breathing, counting down in my head.

10…9…8

Soft hands stroked my face and my eyes opened.

"Mali-."

"Shh… It's okay. Just breathe with me Stiles."

"He die… he died… I can't…"

"He's not dead Stiles. He's alive. He's healing. He's recovering. You didn't lose him."

"I can't lose…" I could feel the trace of tears on my face.

"You're not losing him. Focus on me Stiles, breath for me okay." She whispered placing my hands on her face. My eyes closed as I pressed my forehead against hers and tried to calm my breathing.

"I'm here, okay. I'm not going anywhere. Scott's not going anywhere. He's alive Stiles. Stop thinking about what could have happened." Her voice helped. My arms wrapped fully around her just holding her tight, maybe to tight but she didn't complain, just raked her fingers through my hair. Slowly I climbed out of the abyss I was drowning myself in.

My hands tightened around the steering wheel remembering that night, how she knew just how to calm me, bring me back to the present and what was happening as opposed to what could have happened.

The rest of the night played in my mind. The shared shower that wasn't sexual but still intimate. Her holding me and forcing me to relax and sleep. Waking up to her in my arms. I shook my head to clear the images. Pulling out my phone I dialed.

"Hello?" Scott answered.

"Hey, are you home?"

"Yeah… what's wrong? You sound upset." He asked and I could hear the concern in his voice.

A hysterical laugh burst out of me. There was no way for me to answer that question with out either breaking down or breaking apart.

"Stiles…"

"I'll pulling up now." I said and hung up before he could say anything else.

I didn't have much control left not to explode right now. Parking I saw Scott already standing on the porch, Lydia standing just behind him. I sat there for a minute wondering if I could voice this out loud and if I could do it with both of them. But they were still two of my best friends. I got out of the jeep and froze. I was starting to crash, and I could feel the numbness set in. I don't know what he saw or scented, or even heard but before I could get moving again Scott was coming towards me. he didn't even hesitate just pulled me into a hug.