.

It Was Not You

Edvard, Meleagant, and Louise raced towards Jekyll's house in their carriage as fast as they could. Louise was pale, wringing her hands. Edvard looked sick to his stomach. When Meleagant had gotten a bad feeling and went to check on Jekyll, he'd found neither the doctor nor his alter. As Louise and Edvard understood it, the prince had then immediately raced to inform them of the situation. No one had hesitated to leap into action. Franz had set out to search while Edvard and Louise went back to the doctor's house with Meleagant hoping to find answers.

Meleagant was silent and grim, watching the building come into sight. He hadn't mentioned it to Edvard, Louise, and Franz, but he'd found the doctor alright. In his lab. Unconscious. He'd checked to see if he was still alive, determined he was, and left it at that to go and get help. Before the carriage had even stopped, Louise had leapt from it and gathered her skirts, running to the front door and seizing the handle, shoving it open. Edvard and Meleagant were quick to follow her.

They ran into the house. "Henry!" Louise called.

"Henry, where are you?!" Edvard shouted.

"Try his lab," Meleagant said calmly, directing them to where he was outright.

"It's out back," Louise breathed, racing immediately towards the back door. Edvard followed her quickly. Meleagant lingered behind, a hand rubbing his arm as he looked uneasily around. This place felt wrong, so he stayed in place. He would leave Jekyll to Edvard and Louise. His intent was to make sure that whatever was making this place feel 'wrong' was taken care of or gone. Determinedly, eyes narrowed, he began to creep through the house seeking the source of the awful energy he sensed. No matter how he sought, though, he couldn't find it. He could only feel it watching. Always.

Frozen

Louise raced out the back door and into the small yard behind it, running towards the little lab. "Louise, wait!" Edvard called after her in concern. If Jekyll was dead, the last thing he wanted was for his sister to be the one to make the discovery. Louise, of course, did no such thing. She seized the door and pulled it open, looking in. She cried out in a cross between grief and fear, racing inside. Edvard was quick to join her and gasped, paling. Jekyll was lying prone on the floor! An empty glass vial was on the ground. Louise fell next to him and rolled him over.

"Henry!" she exclaimed, feeling frantically for signs of life. Her relieved but shaky gasp told her brother that Jekyll was indeed still alive.

Edvard cursed and ran over. "Louise, help me," he said urgently. He couldn't lift the man by himself. Jekyll weighed more than he did. Not only was the doctor taller than him, but he was also of a more muscular build. Edvard had a leaner frame. He could perhaps have struggled through it, but it would be much better for Jekyll's well-being to swallow his pride and ask his sister for help. Louise hurried to do so. They lifted the doctor as carefully as they could and hurried to get him inside and to his room where he could be tended. As they reached the base of the stairs, they saw Meleagant coming down.

Meleagant paused and frowned, then sighed and moved to help. He nudged Louise out of the way to take over. Louise was quite indignant at it, Edvard could tell, but at the same time, she realized that both he and Meleagant were stronger than she was, therefore it was the better choice to let them handle the doctor. After all, the sooner they got Jekyll to his room the better.

They lay the doctor in his bed carefully and Louise swept in, checking his pulse and breathing in concern. She was sick with worry, it was clear to see. To be honest, Edvard was too. He stood back, wringing his hands in the same manner his sister tended to when nervous. "Henry? Henry, wake up, please," Louise breathlessly pled, near to tears. The doctor didn't stir, but he looked deathly pale. "Henry!" she cried out pleadingly. She sniffed, holding her head in her hands as she looked at him.

"Louise, we can do precious little for him," Edvard said. "We'll keep an eye on him through the night, bathe his forehead with cool water… He'll make it. He must. If he isn't injured at all, he didn't do this to himself."

"Poison isn't unlikely," Meleagant said. Edvard gave him a sharp look. "Reality bites," Meleagant said, shrugging unconcernedly. "Listen, I talked him down from suicide and convinced him to have a cooler head about this whole thing. He agreed." More or less, he inwardly added. "Whatever happened here, I don't believe he did it to himself. The fact he's alive backs me up. He's a doctor and an accomplished chemist. There's no one who could commit suicide more perfectly than him. If he wanted to die, he'd be gone."

"I pray you're right," Louise said.

"Where is Hyde?" Edvard demanded. "Did you see him upstairs?"

"Gone," Meleagant replied. "Not like, dead gone, just gone."

"So then he might have been behind this!" Louise exclaimed in outrage.

"I'll leave Jekyll to you two and check around the house to see if there are any clues about where he went. If there are, I'll let you know. If there aren't, I'll just leave to find Franz. You have the good doctor well in hand I'm sure," Meleagant said, leaving the room. Louise sat down at Jekyll's side, holding one of his hands tightly between her own and pressing her lips to it. Edvard lingered in the room waiting anxiously, hoping his friend woke up sooner than later.

Frozen

Meleagant slipped once more into the guest room where he knew Jekyll had been keeping Hyde. The bed was unmade, so until recently Hyde had been in it, but he wasn't now. He looked around warily, searching the room. He looked at the window and frowned, approaching it. It was wide open. Perhaps Hyde had attempted something, then made a break for it. It would explain why Jekyll wasn't dead and why Hyde was now gone, but he couldn't figure Hyde's reasons for pulling a stunt like that. The man was dying and didn't want to. Jekyll was his lifeline. There'd be no reason for Hyde to leave. It would be about the stupidest thing he could do. Which meant something else had a hand in this. He sighed through the nose, closing his eyes. He had a guess as to what had happened, but he really hoped he was wrong. He left the window to return to Jekyll's room and slipped inside. Edvard and Louise hadn't moved from their spots.

"It's going to be a long night for you two. Get something to eat and something to drink. I'll watch him a bit before I go after Franz," Meleagant said.

"As you say," Edvard agreed, nodding and slipping out. Louise was more reluctant, but eventually parted from Jekyll to follow her brother.

Meleagant watched them go then turned to Jekyll once more. He approached the man. There had been an empty vial on the floor, from what he understood. Which meant Jekyll had taken something before collapsing. Or someone else had. He stared down at him quietly and eventually nudged him a bit to try and wake him, though he held no stock in that working. Sure enough, Jekyll barely stirred. Meleagant shook his head. "You're one again, aren't you?" he said. He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. "This is going to make things complicated." Especially if the Dark Prince and Edward Hyde had the misfortune of meeting up. That was a scenario he'd rather not think about but could bet his life would eventually happen. Dammit… At least for now, though, Jekyll's life would be preserved. "You're a crazy bastard," Meleagant said to the unconscious doctor with a huff, turning and leaving the room.

He saw Edvard and Louise coming back upstairs with something to eat and drink. He nodded at them as he passed but said nothing. Just walked out of the house to go searching for the Southern Isles prince before this night could get even more complicated by a resurgence of the Dark Prince on top of everything else. If he stayed it definitely would. It always did. That was just the luck of the Round Table. It was a shock if they stayed out of trouble for a day. It was a feat if they stayed out of trouble for two or three, and it was a miracle if they managed a week. That was like a once-in-a-blue-moon occurrence. The longer he hung around here, the more likely it was that luck would take a turn for the worse. It was bad enough as was.

Frozen

It was late at night. Edvard had retired to bed in the guest room. He'd found it odd it wasn't done up to perfection, but assumed Meleagant had ruffled around. Louise for her part stayed at Jekyll's side, curled up in an armchair resting her head on the side of his bed, fitfully drifting in and out of sleep for worry of him.

When the clock struck midnight, the man's eyes began to flutter open. He frowned a bit in confusion, puzzled as to where he was. It took him a moment to piece it together, but when he felt her stirring and his eyes found her, he reached the correct conclusion. He sat up carefully, staring at her as if mystified. As he stared, a smile began to spread across his lips.

"Louise," the man said lowly. No response. "Louise," he prompted again.

She stirred, breathed in deeply, and lifted her head in confusion. When she saw him, she gasped, sitting upright. "Henry!" she exclaimed in glee. She threw her arms about his neck and held him tightly. "Henry, thank the gods you're alright. I was so afraid we'd lost you. Oh my darling never again. Never do such a thing again! Spare my heart that pain, I beg you. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you!"

He was still at first, as if puzzled, but then seemed to come out of it and slipped his arms around her, embracing her in turn. "I'm thirsty," he murmured to her.

"I'll fetch you water," she said, rising and sniffing. She wiped her eyes and hurried out to get a glass.

When she came back in, he was standing by the window looking out and seemingly fascinated by everything he was seeing. It was strange, she thought, but if he had not thought he would wake up again, then doubtless he was discovering a new appreciation for life. At least she hoped that was what it was.

"Doctor, you must rest," she insisted to him. He was quiet. "Henry?" she said.

He looked over at her, and the look he gave her sent shivers down her spine. She'd never seen him grace her with such a smoky gaze before. He looked over her before meeting her eyes again. She cleared her throat in a measure of embarrassment and approached, offering him the water. He took it from her hands and drank from the glass, but didn't take his eyes off her. Almost as if he were considering something.

"Doctor, whatever's gotten into you? What's on your mind?" she asked, somewhat mystified at the look she was receiving. He turned away, glass of water in his hand, and she frowned a bit, puzzled. Soon he placed the glass on the windowsill and continued to look out it at the London streets. "Henry?" she prompted. He hadn't spoken to her yet. Not since he had told her he was thirsty.

"No more games, Louise," he answered. She tilted her head, frowning curiously. He looked at her. "No more games. No more cat and mouse, no more toying around with two separate dolls. The time for you to choose is now." She was thoroughly confused now. "Do you love me?" he asked.

"What?" she said.

"Do you love me?" he questioned, taking her arms.

"Of course I do," she said. "And I love Franz. It's a matter of deciding," she said.

"Mmm… you're playing coy again," he said.

"Henry, as I'm sure you know…" she began, pulling away and turning her back on him as if to give him a lecture. She gasped as suddenly he seized her from behind, pulling her back against his body. She went bright red as one arm snaked around her waist while the other reached up around her until its hand was clasping her throat. Her heart raced. She'd never been this close to him before.

He leaned forward so his lips were brushing her ear. "If you love me, then you must love only me. Tonight you choose. I tire of your little games. Stop deluding yourself. Stop deluding him. You certainly don't delude us."

"Us?" she asked.

"Me," he corrected.

"Wh-what do you…?" she began, feeling suddenly very warm and light-headed. She was near swooning, she realized, and that embarrassed her more but in a good way.

"You and I both know that it will be me you choose in the end. You're only delaying the inevitable. He knows it too. He grasps uselessly at straws, fights to keep you near, but we all know who you will choose when all is said and done," he said.

"You can't know my mind Henr…" she began before gasping as he pressed his lips to her jawline and pulled her closer, hand slipping a little lower on her waist. "What are you doing?" she gasped in a whisper, breathing quick and excited, inappropriate thoughts racing through her head that had absolutely no business being there. She didn't want them there! They were temptations she could do without, thank you very much.

"You'll see," he answered.

"Dr. Jekyll, this is most inappropriate!" she said, the last word becoming a surprised scream on the last syllables as he crossed the room, and pushed her onto the bed in one fluid motion. She gasped in shock, rolling over onto her back to stare at him in disbelief, mouth agape like she couldn't believe what he was doing. He didn't advance again. Just smiled the sort of smile that made her knees feel weak, the moonlight behind him accentuating his form. "My gods," she gasped unbidden, and savagely bit her tongue for the little slip, moving away from him until she was against the headboard. She screamed a bit as he moved swiftly and surely, falling over her and pinning her arms with that damnable smile that was so very unlike him. "Henry, what on earth has gotten into you?" she finally found the words to say.

"I am a new man, Louise, with a new lease on life. Suddenly everything is so clear," he answered. "All the things I feel for you, all the desires within me, all the longings and wishes and urges… If you love me, choose me," he said. "If you don't, then take your brother and go."

"That isn't fa…" she began before she cut herself off with a strangled gasp when his lips found her neck again. A moan escaped her lips unbidden, and she cursed it. He continued necking her, each kiss more passionate than the last until she felt near faint and gave in with a gasp, wrapping her arms around him to keep him close to her and keep him tending her throat like he was.

"You know it will be me," he growled against her skin. "Why wait another moment longer to decide?" He moved, suddenly, seizing her lips. She gave a muffled scream into his mouth before catching her breath and closing her eyes, snaking her arms around his neck. He kissed her more passionately than she had expected, and far more roughly, and she wasn't sure how she liked the roughness, but the passion… Her head spun. She hardly knew what was what anymore. She felt like she was hardly in control and all of her wanted him so fervently in that moment. She pushed him back with more self-restraint than she'd thought she would have at this point. "Henry, we can't! What are we…?" she began. He took hold of her blouse and tore it open. A scream escaped her lips, but he was quick to muffle it. Edvard, she realized, but her brother was a fleeting thought before his lips were pressed to her breasts as he worked to undo her corset. When he pulled that open as well, exposing her to him, and threw it aside like it was refuse, she gave up resisting and all but melted in his arms.

She was in a daze as it happened. His lips decorated her stomach and breasts and chest, and before she knew it the rest of her clothing was gone say for her stockings, and she wasn't even sure how or when. All she knew was suddenly there was nothing between him and her. She was almost completely naked before him, at his every whim. He took full advantage of it for a good long time before he even started to undress himself. When he pulled the shirt off over his head, she almost fainted dead away. By the gods, his body! She held her head in her hands, gawking like a fool. He gave her a wicked smirk and there was this foreign glint in his eyes that somewhat unsettled her, but she didn't have long to analyze it before he undid his trousers and linins, slipped out of them, and threw them aside. He crawled above her, pinning her beneath him and prying her legs apart. She wasn't ready when he made the move. She cried out in pain and surprise, her limbs wrapping around him like a vice. Another strangled cry escaped her lips as he moved against her, methodic and confident and lustful.

Not desirous. Lustful. That didn't seem right.

The fleeting and somewhat bothering thought faded as quickly as it came. He barely gave her time to think, the way he was going at it. Gradually he picked up the pace, becoming more and more rough.

So rough. Too rough. Uncomfortably rough.

Cries of pain began to escape her lips. He silenced them with a hand pressed firmly over her mouth, and that made it hard to breathe. This felt wrong. She didn't know how, but it did. She squirmed a bit, almost starting to resist, but gods the sensations she was experiencing, the pleasure when he did back down a little as if realizing he was getting too rough. She allowed him to continue with her and clung to him for all she was worth, head leaned back into the pillow as his lips decorated her throat.

"Henry, we shouldn't be doing this," she finally managed to pant. "Edvard is too close."

"Too far along to back down now, my sweet," he answered. That also was odd, because he'd never used the pet name 'my sweet' before, but she chalked it up to him being in a mood and let it go

"Oh!" she cried out. She gave up trying to protest as her body tightened around his and ached and throbbed in desire and pleasure.

It was a lengthy time before at last the two of them were spent and stopped. He fell asleep quickly and it seemed so indifferent, so strange for him, so cold. She lay awake far longer than she should have, asking herself over and over again what she had done, torn between shame and embarrassment and excitement all at once, so many conflicting feelings spinning in her head. She wished he had stayed awake to assuage her fears and didn't understand why he had just had his way with her then decided to call it a night like it was nothing! It hurt more than she cared to admit, but then again, he had only just recovered from a near-death experience. Perhaps it had been too much for his body to handle! That, she told herself, had to be the reason. At last, she fell asleep, fitful thoughts still plaguing her mind and conscience. Perhaps tomorrow, though, they would sort themselves out and she would feel only good ones…

Frozen

Jekyll's eyes fluttered open tiredly. He frowned a moment, confused. He felt… strange. He grimaced. His head hurt a bit, but perhaps that would pass sooner than later. He groaned a little and rolled over to try burying his head beneath a pillow. What he was greeted with instead caused him to go white in horror and sit up with a shocked and mortified gasp. Next to him in his bed was Louise, bare as the day she was born say for stockings!

"Oh my gods!" he exclaimed before he could bite back the words, his voice tight and high and terrified. "Oh gods, oh gods!" He scrambled quickly out of the bed and realized almost immediately his own state of undress. He covered his mouth to muffle a shocked cry and keep from waking her. He staggered back in dread until he was pressed against the wall, staring at the slumbering woman in horror. "What have I done?" he numbly asked, holding his head in his hands. "This isn't happening. This can't be happening!" he exclaimed, shaking said head in denial. A thousand horrifying thoughts raced through his mind as he tried to remember what had happened. He couldn't remember. He couldn't remember! He let out a shaky gasp, covering his mouth with one hand, a burning sensation in his eyes. He couldn't remember… But he knew who could…

He cursed, then cursed twice more. He felt near to hyperventilating. He tried to calm his breathing. He needed to think rationally now. He couldn't let himself panic. He looked around for his clothes and quickly scrambled to them, gathering them up. He laundered his linins and quickly dressed himself in new clothing. He turned around to Louise, who had just stirred, and held his breath willing her not to wake up. Of course, when had he ever been so lucky?

Slowly she sat up, rubbing an eye and stretching out. His mouth went dry, and his eyes widened as he took in her form. He whispered a curse under his breath and tore his eyes frantically away from the sight, closing them tightly. No, no, after last night that would seem wrong. He swallowed and opened his eyes again. He spotted a book and grabbed it up quickly, opening it wide and pretending to be focused on it.

"Good morning my love," Louise said to him, and the way she said it made his body feel like gelatin. A shiver raced down his spine.

He briefly struggled with whether to turn or not and ultimately chose to do so. For the sake of her mental wellbeing. Goodness knew it wouldn't help his own. He looked over and forced a smile he hoped came across as genuine. "Good morning my darling," he murmured softly to her. It came more naturally to him than he expected, and for that he was glad.

She tilted her head. She must detect something in his voice. Maybe he sounded too strained? "Is something wrong Henry?" she questioned.

He was quiet. Everything was wrong, he inwardly answered, smile slowly falling. He looked back at the book. "It just… seems surreal," he answered.

"Last night?" she asked, sounding amused.

"Many things, Louise," he replied. She smiled fondly. He couldn't bring himself to look at her, acting distracted by what he was reading. It wasn't all that interesting. If she asked, he didn't know how he could explain it to make it seem believable. "I… I'll go make breakfast for you and your brother," he said.

"Henry, after how we found you last night, I'm not about to let you play host for us. You should rest. I don't know what happened, how you ended up like that, frankly I won't pry until you feel inclined to answer, but whatever went on, I don't want you to strain yourself. I want you to relax. Let Edvard and I pamper you, instead of you pampering and spoiling us with your excellent hosting skills." There was a distinct playful teasing tone in her voice, and he wished that he could find it in himself to smile—under any other circumstance he would have—but it was a struggle. "Henry?" she asked.

He let out a shaking breath, bowing his head. "I'm alright," he said. "Just… tired."

"After last night, that's no surprise," she teased, smirking. He flinched subtly and hoped she hadn't noticed. He looked over at her. She sat cross-legged on his bed, still naked, and he looked away again wishing she would get dressed. "So, when will we be wed?" she asked. He winced hard. He didn't know how she could miss it. She frowned in concern. "Doctor?" she asked, sounding ever so slightly vulnerable.

He turned to her, watching her quietly. He didn't know what to say. His instinct was to tell her last night was a mistake, but he would sooner shoot himself than hurt her like that. She could never be a mistake, but what they had done… She, though, would not hear it like that. Few would. He certainly wouldn't have, had that line been pulled on him. To begin with 'I love you, but' would be almost as cruel.

He finally dared approach her. He perched next to her on the bed, reaching out and cupping her cheek. He took in her features silently, eyes scanning her face and resting on her lips. After a moment he leaned forward, pressing his own to hers softly. She trembled ever so slightly at his touch. After a moment he withdrew, nuzzling her nose. "I would marry you happily, were I sure that was what you wanted."

She started, surprised, then looked a little uncertain. "You didn't question it was what I wanted last night," she said.

"No?" he asked somewhat dazedly.

She clasped his hands. "You were right when you told me we all knew who I would choose, when all was said and done," she said.

"I told you as much, but were those my words put in your mouth, or something you actually believed?" he asked.

She frowned, looking a little concerned now. "It's too late to retreat from this now Henry," she said, tone guarded. "I have given all of myself to you. I didn't question it last night and I don't question it now."

"Didn't you question it last night?" he asked. She shifted a bit, looking a little uncomfortable with this line of questioning.

"Even if I did start to give this second thoughts, and I absolutely will not, what's been done has been done," she said. "My love, I will never regret you. Ever."

He squeezed her hands gently, offering a tired smile that he knew told her he wasn't convinced. He leaned forward, pressing a kiss to her forehead, then withdrew. "Edvard will be up soon," he said. "We cannot let him realize."

She frowned, concerned at his lack of an answer. He had yet to respond to her question of a marriage date, and honestly it felt like he had dodged every one of her questions and remarks rather than address them. Still, he was correct about her brother. She rose and gathered up her clothing. She put on her skirt and put the corset around her body. "Darling, help me with this," she insisted. He went bright red, sputtering a moment. "Come on Henry, it can't be more awkward than ripping it off!" she insisted. His jaw dropped in shock before he recovered his composure and stumbled over to her, fumbling in embarrassment with the corset, now a bright red. He tightened it, though not uncomfortably, and quickly Louise finished dressing herself.

"I will leave first," he said. "You follow in a few minutes. I'll-I'll think of something if he is up and asks questions." She nodded. Jekyll nodded back, bowed, then hurried to leave. Louise watched after him in concern, uncertainty, and a measure of vulnerability. He was acting strange, and it didn't sit well with her.

Frozen

Jekyll exited his room about the same time Edvard came out. He flushed briefly and was glad for the dim lighting and Edvard's rubbing his eyes. "Henry," his friend said in relief. He blinked and looked at the doctor. "How are you?" he asked in concern.

"I've been better," he answered.

"What on earth happened to you?" Edvard murmured in concern.

Jekyll let out a shaking sigh, bowing his head. "I'd rather not talk about it right now," he said.

"Did you try and hurt yourself?" Edvard asked cautiously and a bit worriedly.

"No," he answered. "I tried to save myself and it went wrong. I'll tell you more later, just not now. I'm in no mental space to discuss it now."

Edvard nodded in concern. "Where is Louise?" he asked.

"Sleeping still. I didn't want to wake her. I can only imagine the hell she went through last night when you two stumbled upon me," Jekyll said. He looked at Edvard again. "I can only imagine the hell you went through too. I'm sorry you had to see me like that. Both of you."

"At least it wasn't dead we found you," Edvard said sympathetically. "Come on. Let's go downstairs. I'll make you some tea or coffee. Whichever you would prefer."

"Tea. Please," Jekyll answered.

Edvard nodded. "I'm not much good at making breakfast, but I can scrounge together something."

"No. No, there's no need Edvard. Thank you. I'm not all that hungry to be honest with you," Jekyll said.

"You have to eat Henry, but very well. We'll wait for Louise," he said. Jekyll nodded and accompanied his friend downstairs feeling nothing but burning shame and guilt for all that had happened last night. Edvard had trusted him, Louise had trusted him, and knowing what had happened because of it… He felt stick to the stomach.

Frozen

It was some time before Louise showed up. Jekyll had begun to get concerned for her wellbeing. She joined them silently and looked torn and hurt and so very vulnerable, and to see it broke his heart. She did not need to know what had happened to her, he told himself. If he had to, he would play the part the rest of his life. As best he could at least. She sat down at the table. Edvard looked mildly concerned and offered her tea. She forced a smile and took the drink, sipping from it.

"Are you hungry Louise?" Edvard asked.

"I'm alright, Edvard. Unless you are," she said.

"No. Last night killed my appetite, I'm afraid," he said. "All of ours it seems." He looked at Jekyll. "Are you ready to talk about it?" he asked in concern. Jekyll was quiet. Edvard took it as a no and sighed, turning attention to his tea again. "I need some air," he finally said, getting up and walking towards the back door. Probably to try and find anything they'd missed last night. He would find precious little, Jekyll knew. He almost wanted to plead for the man not to leave, but the way Louise looked… He knew Edvard staying would not be best. Edvard left them alone and silence hung between them.

Jekyll sipped at his tea, trying to ignore the atmosphere and play it off like it was nothing. "It wasn't you last night, was it?" she finally asked. He paused mid-sip then slowly took the cup from his lips and stared into the liquid. He let out a shaking sigh, closing his eyes tightly and turning away from her in shame.

"No," he confessed.

He hated the shaking and broken breath she drew. "I'm sorry," she said, sounding so very vulnerable and guilty.

He turned to her in concern. Tears burned in her eyes. "It is my shame, not yours," he answered at last. "You did nothing wrong. I did."

"Not you," she said.

"He is me," Jekyll answered.

"He is not you!" she sharply shot, slamming her hand on the table with fire in her gaze.

Jekyll stared at her and let out a shaking breath of his own, bowing his head and wiping his eyes. He sniffed and looked at her. "If you need to go, then go," he said.

"Why would I go?" she asked.

He shook his head. She caught on and looked utterly devastated and broken when she realized his concern. "Oh no… Oh god, no, Henry. No," she said, moving quickly to him and kneeling next to his chair, placing her hands on his lap and looking immensely concerned. "My darling, don't think that way, please."

"Were you half as willing as you told yourself you were?" he asked, voice breaking.

"Stop it!" she pled in dismay, cradling his face in her hands. "It wasn't that. I swear it. He didn't force me, my love, I promise you he didn't. I promise on my life! He, you, did not force me." He clutched her hands with his and realized he was shaking. Subtly, but shaking nonetheless. "He was forceful, but not violent," she insisted. He shook his head as if in denial. As if not believing her.

"Did he cause you pain? Either physical or emotional or both? Did you want it at all?" he asked.

"He did not force me!" she vehemently answered. "Yes, he was rough; no, I did not enjoy everything he did; yes, I felt shame and embarrassment, but with it I felt desire and delight and longing, and I wanted you so badly. I did not fight back despite my misgivings and my feeling that something was off. I was not an unwilling participant. I convinced myself it was you."

"It was," he said.

"It was your body, but it was not your mind, and thank the gods for that," she answered. "He was so indifferent when it was done. He lay down and went to sleep and didn't speak a word to me after he had had me, and it hurt so badly but I convinced myself it could be excused by your near-death experience. Henry, the last person I will ever blame for this is you. I hold you to no promise, my dearest, none at all. No one ever has to know."

"What of Franz?" Jekyll asked, and that sobering remark shocked her to silence and caused her to look fearful and nervous.

She rose uncertainly, wringing her hands in concern. Her mind was now consumed with the prince and how she could ever break this to him. Finally, she looked at him again. "Hyde was not wrong when he claimed that I would have chosen you," she finally said. "And I will tell Franz as much because he knows it too. It was not always that way, but it became that way over time." It hadn't helped that Franz was in Denmark while both she and Jekyll were in England and thus constantly available to one another.

"That was before Hyde was one with me again," he said. "When he was gone, I gladly pursued you and my love for you, but with him here… It wouldn't be fair to you. It would never be fair to you." He would never have pursued anything at all with her, had Hyde still been part of him.

"We will manage it," she said.

"Louise, he is a murderer and a monster and completely unhinged, and your life would be in constant danger the rest of my days, because damn me if I did not kill myself before I let him hurt you. I want to be with you, I want it so badly, but it can't be! It can't!"

"Henry, you already have me," she said. "All of me now. I have shamed myself and you, and I cannot take that back and I cannot hide that forever."

"That was not your shame. And do you honestly think that Franz will care either way, whether you are still a virgin or not? He certainly isn't, so he most definitely has no room to talk," he answered.

"Do not turn me away now," she pled.

"You do not understand, Louise! It would not be only Henry Jekyll that you would marry. You would marry Edward Hyde as well! Edward Hyde who is an abusive lunatic who would not think twice about doing any number of horrendous, immortal, merciless things to you. Do you think he would have let you go if you had said no last night after all? Thank the gods you didn't! I could never bear it if you no longer were able to look at me again, much less speak to me."

"I would have known then that it was not you," she said.

"But he would have still been wearing my face," he answered.

"I would not have shunned you," she said.

"Wouldn't you have?" he asked, and she found herself more uncertain of her answer than she cared to be. She sniffed, wiping her eyes. He let out a shaky breath, resting his forehead against hers. "Do not put yourself through this pain." He deferred to her choice and hers alone despite his wishes, because he had forfeited any say he had in the matter last night when Edward Hyde had had his way with her. Had Hyde kept to himself, Jekyll could have broken it off simple and plain this morning and told her his reasons why, and that would be the end of it. Instead, Hyde had lain with her and stolen from her everything and disrespected not only her but himself as well. Walking out now, after taking such a treasure from her, was absolutely not an option and only the lowest form of scum would do so. Instead, he put their fates in her hands and hoped to the gods she made the smart choice and did not let her heart rule her over her mind. But it always seemed she let her heart rule her in the end. He despised the heart and spat on the phrases such as 'the heart wants what it wants' and 'follow your heart'. The heart was a deceiver and a liar and a most treacherous thing.

"Henry…" she whispered.

"Please. Love with your head and not with your heart," he begged, looking sincerely at her. Tears burned her eyes and she said nothing. "I will not ask you to make that choice now, but promise me you will think about it."

"I promise," she said, nodding.

Edvard entered then, and paused on seeing them both in tears. He frowned in deep concern. Louise looked quickly over at her brother, eyes wide and scared and vulnerable. Jekyll turned away, not even looking his direction and instead bowing his head in shame. Edvard looked from one to the other. "What happened?" he questioned in concern.

"Jekyll and Hyde are one again," Louise whispered.

Edvard looked like he'd been punched in the stomach. He looked at Jekyll in worry and went over to him. He knelt next to him, placing a hand on the older man's shoulder. "I suspected something like that," he murmured. "Henry, are you alright?"

"No," Jekyll honestly answered, shaking his head. "Things have just become much, much more complicated. For all of us… You two should go… I need to be alone a while."

"I'm not leaving you in this state," Edvard said, frowning.

Jekyll looked over at him and smiled a forced but reassuring smile. "I will be alright, I promise. I have no intentions of trying anything. I may yet be able to salvage this."

"I don't believe you!" Edvard answered.

Jekyll's smile fell. "Edvard, please. Take your sister and go. This is my situation to deal with. I will not harm myself, you have my word. But I need time to think and consider my next steps."

Edvard let out a shaking breath. "Alright," he said, standing up. "Will you inform the others?"

"All day will be spent writing letters to the others," Jekyll ruefully answered. "But at least it will take my mind off of this for a while."

Edvard nodded and looked at his sister, who watched Jekyll in grief and longing. "Come on Louise," Edvard gently said.

She sniffed and rose, linking her arm with her brother's. "Good day, Dr. Jekyll," she said to Jekyll.

"Good day Miss Collin," he answered, not looking at either of them. Edvard watched him a moment longer in concern before turning and leaving with his sister to return to their home. Jekyll closed his eyes and sniffed, letting his tears come freely now.