Going back to work, even if it was only for a few days before the dog daycare closed for Christmas, was a good decision on Jess's part. Or so it seemed, thus far.
Metal was encouraged to see her somewhat brought back to life after her first shift back and she'd expressed how happy she was to be around the dogs again. They made her feel safe because she knew pretty much no one could get to her without having about thirty dogs, half of which didn't like men, barking and growling at them. Today Jess had even driven herself to work, though she'd had to call him part way there because she'd started to get scared. He'd questioned the wisdom of her trying to go alone so soon, but he also didn't want to discourage her from trying to reclaim her life. Work seemed to have found a place that calmed the ever present torment and made her braver.
Brock thought they should get her a dog. Metal had to agree and the moment it was suggested, he couldn't get it out of his head.
Frankly he'd feel better knowing she had some kind of protection with her when he was gone on missions.
A restlessness rose up in him again and he started to pace the empty house. He'd just woken up a second time. After talking to Jess on the phone during her drive that morning he'd fallen asleep again. That never happened. Usually once he was up, he was up.
The uncomfortable reality of everything started to creep in now that there wasn't the need to stay vigilant for Jess and he started to put dishes away from the dishwasher to try distracting himself.
As he worked, mental images of one dead sister, and the one he'd adopted swirled together with his rage and out of nowhere it all broke, crashing like a wave on the shore.
His perfect, careful mask crumbled and he finally exploded, allowing himself to feel everything he'd shoved aside since rescuing Jess.
It wasn't right. It was detestable. It was enraging ! That he should have both his sisters in danger, and nearly lose Jess just like he had Rose. That he should know just how broken Rose would have been, should she have lived and survived her abduction. That Jess should be unable to sleep each night without waking, screaming out either for him, or in fear of him. That he was helpless to stop it. That he didn't stop her from going to the damn Amazon in the first place. That Santino'd had plans to snatch her from the college campus regardless of if she'd gone or not. That if he'd never sat across from her in the first place that night at the Bulkhead and befriended her, she'd likely still be in that hell right now, or worse and no one would have come for her except a brother who was a coward.
All because her family was so fucked up. All because evil people saw her as just a pawn instead of someone worth taking a bullet for. Worth dying for.
And he'd been powerless to stop it, despite how careful he'd been. If it hadn't been for that damn necklace-
The raw emotion spilled over, demanding an outlet and Metal grabbed hold of two glass cups in the top wrack of the dishwash, one in each hand.
Both cups smashed into the wall in quick succession and a third was halfway raised in his hand when something caught his attention out of the corner of his eye.
Alerted to the presence of another, Metal turned his fury to the intruder instead, welcoming a fight.
He froze when he saw the small figure of Jess. Her arms were folded protectively across her front, fingernails digging deep into the bare skin of her biceps om one side and the other hand clamped around the pendant around her next. She was way too still and ashen as she stared with big eyes at the mess he'd made.
"What are you doing home," He ground out through his teeth, rage barely controlled right now but getting reined in fast the longer he looked at her. "I thought you were at work. What are you doing home!?"
Startled by his acknowledgement of her, Jess stumbled back with a small shake of her head.
"I-I'm not…I…I came back because-we were over staffed-and-and-I-…I'm just leaving…to…too see Pauline…" the girl's voice was faint and bordering on well past frightened, stabbing home a need for control and urgency to fix this.
Given the fact she was back in pajamas, he knew she wasn't just about to leave. She'd been home all morning and somehow he'd missed it. How the hell did he miss that?! She got in without him hearing. That wasn't good.
Come to think of it, she didn't look well either, which was made worse by the lack of breathing happening.
"Why are you home?"
"Um," Panic was visible now as Jess frantically tried to figure out if she should go change clothes or just leave the house in her sleeping wear. "I wasn't feeling g-good…I'm sorry-"
There it was. Bad day. Wasn't feeling good. Needed to be home where she felt safe, and here he was having a fucking tantrum.
Metal put down the cup in his hand with more force than necessary and started moving towards the retreating girl.
"Stop moving, sit down and breathe before you have a panic attack." He growled with less fury than before but Jess didn't seem to hear him.
Too late. Damn it.
The rational part of his brain took back over and he slowed his approach as Jess started to turn white.
"Jess-"
"I'm going, I'm sorry-" She wouldn't look at him, bumping into the wall like a caged animal as she moved away a few steps while scratching her arms. She left a long red trail behind each scratch. If she went any deeper, the skin would bleed.
"Stop."
The single word was meant to come out calmly, but instead it ended up being sharp.
The girl did just that. She stopped moving, she stopped breathing, she stopped everything.
"Shit. Jess…look at me."
Jess shook her head, and drew a gasp of air, followed by another. Then another.
"Pips, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were home." Rage took a backseat properly now and his tone softened while he edged closer to the spiraling girl. "Please, look at me. It's ok. I promise it's ok. None of that had anything to do with you."
That was a lie, but she didn't need to know that right now.
"I-I can't- I can't-" Jess finally looked at him, naked fear glinting as she gasped and struggled to breathe. Her knees shook.
"Come here…it's ok." Hating every ounce of his outburst when he saw how scared she was, he hung back, waiting for her to come to him. "I'm not gonna hurt you, pipsqueak, I swear. Please come here…let me fix this. Just take a deep breath. Nice and slow."
Clenching her eyes shut, Jess finally reached out shaking arms to him and he closed the distance, wrapping her close and holding the back of her head so it rested against his chest. His own heart was hammering with remorse.
"I'm sorry." He whispered. "I'm so sorry. I would never have gone off like that if I knew you were home. It's not something I ever wanted you to see. Didn't want you scared…like you are now. Shhh…breath. One long breath in. One out. That's it. I've got you. I'm sorry. I had some shit I was…dealing with. I'm sorry."
When Jess finally leveled out her breathing she started to sob.
"I'm sorry!"
"No! You don't apologize for something I did!"
"I'm sorry," She cried again, and her knees started to give out, forcing him to lower her down the wall and kneel while holding her instead. "I-it…it just…my mom…the night my dad left."
A ragged sob broke out deeper and she whimpered, "She broke every dish in the cupboard…and then she blamed us…blamed me…for making dad leave and for making her break everything-"
"You didn't do this. Jess? Listen to me. You weren't to blame then, you aren't to blame now."
"I'm sorry!" Jess finally looked at him, the look in her eye clearly stating how lost she still was down memory lane.
Cupping her checks, and admittedly panicking just a little, because he'd absolutely caused this, Metal forced his voice to stay level, "Jess, this isn't on you. Take a breath."
"No! No it has to be!" Jess wailed, completely hysterical still.
"Why?" He asked, giving her face the gentlest of shakes.
"Because! I don't want to blame you! I don't want you to feel guilty or to think maybe I shouldn't stay here with you! I don't- I can't- and- Scott, I don't wanna go. I know I'm not handling any of this well and I'm so sorry, I'm trying so hard to get better- and to-to be normal again-"
"Breathe. Come on, pips. You need to calm down."
"I don't want to move out," Jess howled. "I-I- n-need you! I'm so sorry- I can't do it on my own-"
"The fuck?" Dark frown appearing as he tried to figure out where all this was coming from and trying to make sense of her nonsensical pleas. "You aren't movin out! Get it out of your head. Where the hell did you come up with that one anyway?!"
Shoulders shrugging helplessly, Jess burst out with, "I don't know!"
"Oh. Good," Metal grumbled with half hearted sarcasm. "We're here, huh? Geez…what am I going to do with you?"
Jess hiccuped on another deep sob and burrowed closer, fingers curling into the front of his shirt.
"Moving out, my ass," He continued with an indignant snort. "The hell you are! Not without a fight, because damn it, kid…I don't know if I could let you go after everything that's happened."
Admitting it outloud clicked the final piece into place and Metal could clearly see just how deep the truth about his inability to relax unless Jess was in his line of sight went. He was terrified of losing her like Rose and coming so close to it only made that fear worse.
Drawing a sharp puff of air, because he knew that level of hypervigilance to keep her safe wasn't exactly healthy, he added uncomfortably, "That came out more controlling than I meant. I just mean…that I…fuck it. I love you, kid, and I was scared I might lose you, still am, so why the hell would I kick you out?! Get it out of your head."
"I'm such a mess…I'm so emotional!" Jess cried.
"So am I, or did you not see the cups hit the wall?"
"I saw them," Jess whispered.
Knowing the kid well enough by now, Metal figured it would save time if he just added on a blanket statement of, "All that anger had nothing to do with anything you did. Told you before. I've got shit I need to work though. Part of my process…and usually people don't see that part."
"It's ok." Jess's tears were slowing now, though Metal had a sizable damp spot on his shirt. "I'm basically nonfunctional as an adult and I'm worse now and I don't know when I'll get better-"
"Did you push yourself to go back to work because you thought that's what you had to do?"
"I don't know."
"Are you sure?"
"Maybe? I don't know! I don't know anything anymore! I'm just…I tried to go today, and then I just couldn't do it. I got there and I was so rattled from driving that I just got through an hour, and then the girls could tell my anxiety was setting off the group of dogs and they were all getting kinda scrappy with each other because they didn't understand because their just dogs and I was out of control emotionally so I had to come home-" Jess's tears started up again. "What if I can't do my job anymore?! I love my job!"
"Kid…it's been less than three weeks since all this bullshit happened to you. Cut yourself some slack. Even your shrink thought it might be too soon and said to take it slow."
"I know! I should have listened!"
"That wasn't criticism, pips."
"I don't know what to do anymore. I should have let you drive me! I- I thought it would be ok! I'm tired of being a burden and I wanted to feel normal but I just freaked out, like, worse than I told you when I called you and then-then I felt so good at work yesterday, I don't understand why today had to be so bad!"
Not having much of an answer for that one and seeing the need for her to calm down before she got all worked up again, Metal stayed quiet, hushing her instead and sitting with her on the floor. His gaze kept lingering on the broken glass on the floor and he couldn't help seeing the irony that they were both just as shattered, picking up the pieces.
Somehow he didn't think pure revenge was going to fix this one for him.
Seeing Jess heal might.
After a long silence, Jess said with quiet, tired and resigned embarrassment, "I drank a lot of coffee this morning and I don't think I ate breakfast."
Rolling his eyes to the ceiling, Metal counted to ten before answering.
"Well, that explains a few things," he grumbled, "You're something else, you know that?"
"I'm a dumbass," Jess muttered. "No wonder I felt so anxious. I was running on only caffeine after not drinking it for like…four weeks….and that's on top of everything else."
"Yeah, you are a little bit of a dumbass, but we still love you. Come on, up ya get. Let's feed you."
"My boss said I should try again at work after New Years. She was really nice about it and hinted that she'd been through some scary shit too and understood a bit of what I'm going through," Jess mumbled, letting him hoist her to her feet. Her words hesitated a fraction of a second when her little brain was triggered by the movement for whatever reason, but she shook it off quickly by bumping her forehead into his bicep for a spell and whispering. "Tell me I'm safe?"
"You're safe. You some place you wanna tell me about?"
"Not right now." Jess mumbled, forcing her eyes to open and giving him a weak smile. "I'm hungry."
"Ok. Let's feed you or next you'll be getting hangry on me and I took all my gear back to work already. There's no way I want to face a hangry Jess without my gear."
The tiniest of snickers escaped from Jess and lightly swatted him.
"Jerk. I'm not scary. You are."
Shaking the guilt that those sassy words ignited, Metal scoffed lightly and answered, "Really? Me? Never."
Christmas Eve
"Jess!" Naima wrapped her in the warmest of hugs and held her for a good spell. "I'm so happy you felt up to coming!"
"I can't promise how long I'll be able to manage," Jess told her honestly as she drank in the maternal comfort. "But I couldn't bear the thought of everything that happened stealing Christmas with my family from me in addition to literally everything else."
"You take whatever time you need and just tell us if you need something," Naima said sternly as she pulled away. "These boys understand better than most people think they do, and like we spoke about the other day, so do I. If you get overstimulated or overwhelmed and need a minute, you take it. If you need someone to sit quietly with you while you take it, just ask."
"I will." Jess promised, only half believing it. She was determined not to wreck their Christmas dinner party by having a meltdown. All the same, the loud, lively house was both enjoyable and agitating for her senses.
Somehow, Scott noticed right away and he nudged her toward the kitchen, muttering, "I know where the good treats are hidden."
"Scott Carter, you stay out of those pastries." Naima warned, pointing a wooden spoon at him as she headed for a salad that Sonny was struggling to prepare. "Sonny, for a man with your talents in the kitchen, you really are hopeless when it comes to salads. What are you doing ?"
Winking at Jess, Scott opened the fridge without a sound and promptly swiped two to pastries while Naima's back was turned, passed one to Jess and then shoveled his own into his mouth just before the woman turned back again.
He stood completely straight faced, innocent and normal as ever while Naima scrutinized him suspiciously.
"You really think I'm going to fall for that?" She said, unimpressed. "You're kind, but you're not so kind as to only grab one of those for Jess and not yourself."
Making an incredulous, half offended face as he shrugged, Scott turned to leave the room, still not giving any sign that his mouth was stuffed full of the treat. Jess snorted and went after him, savoring her own treat.
"What is that a tradition or something that you have to steal one of those every year?" Jess asked as she came into the living space with him and they joined the others who were already there.
"Something like that," Scott told her around the food in his mouth. "Naima would be disappointed if I didn't."
Smiling, Jess accepted the answer and allowed herself to relax, just a bit, as she took in the familiar people and reminiscent sounds of the last Christmas she'd spent here.
Bravo hadn't threatened to break down her door this year when it came time for the Perry's Christmas celebration, but Jason, Trent and Scott offered to escort her if she wanted to go, or stay with her at the house if she didn't feel like she could. Jess opted to come and didn't regret it. She felt more alive here with all this warmth and love than she had in weeks. She could almost pretend nothing happened to her.
"Jess!" Jameelah squealed, dancing around her happily. "Come see the painting I made with Emma!"
Grinning at the enthusiasm, Jess obliged and let the little girl drag her over to the coffee table to sit next to Emma.
The other girl smiled at her, a quiet, hurting, empathetic look in her eye that told Jess everything she needed to know. Emma knew enough to be sad for her. Jess couldn't decide if that bothered her or not.
"Are you going to play road hockey later?!" Jameelah asked excitedly.
"I think you might be able to talk me into it," Jess laughed. "Will you be on my team?"
"Yes!" Jameelah answered enthusiastically. "And Uncle Scott too!"
"If I didn't know any better, I would think Uncle Scott was your favorite Uncle, Jameelah," Jason said teasingly as he passed the table to an empty spot on the couch. "You better watch out or you'll make your other Uncles cry."
"I don't have a favorite uncles, Uncle Jason!" Jameelah chirped. "I like you all for different reasons. And Uncle Scott is a trustworthy person to have on my team. He won't forgot I'm on his side and steal the ball from me…like certain other Uncles do."
"Ohhh…she got you there, Jase," Ray laughed and the other boys joined in with general noise that gave Jason a hard time.
"You clearly learned how to hold a grudge from your father there, 'meelah," Jason said ruefully, pretending to be sheepish and perhaps just a little. "I did say sorry several times."
"You did it twice." Jameelah reminded him seriously, with raised eyebrows that echoed the way her mother looked when she was getting someone in trouble.
A great cry of 'ohhhhh' rose up and Ray put a loving hand on Jameelah's head, saying, "Sweetheart, I think what Uncle Jason is saying is it would be nice if you could let it go and let him try again."
"Nah, nevermind that, 'meelah," Emma laughed, "You just gotta get good enough that you can take the ball from him and show him who's boss!"
Jess settled back with her back against the couch, with her shoulder just touching Trent's knee and absentmindedly colored the page that Jameelah had set in front of her.
"You should ask Jess for some tips," Clay said lightly, "She's got some sneaky skills."
"I am not that sneaky!" Jess answered, slowly relaxing and enjoying herself as the banter lilted around her. "I squeal and carry on like a little piggy."
"Nah, you're more like a little Ewok," Trent countered with a laugh before making the same noise the little fur balls from Star Wars made.
She couldn't help the giggle that slipped out and she craned her neck back so she could see Trent, puffing her bangs from her face.
"At least I'm not a wookie! When you get in a fight over the ball with Sonny or Scott you make wookie noises!"
"I do not!" Trent protested without real upset.
"Yeah, you do," Scott grumbled as he checked his watch. "Where's Brock and Blackburn?"
Lisa looked up from the quiet conversation she'd been having with Mikey about his year at school and said, "Eric said he had a few things to do, but he would be here for the game at the latest."
"Well, it's just about time for that." Jason got up and poked his head in the kitchen. "Sonny. Hockey. You ready?"
"Jase, you cannot rush art-" Sonny said seriously before Naima cut him off.
"Sonny, whatever you did to that salad was not art. Get out of my kitchen. You've done your part already, no go make sure RJ doesn't get clobbered."
"Unca Sonny!" RJ roared, spotting his favored Uncle and fully climbing up and over Scott so he could leap off the back of the couch into the Texan's arms.
"You ready to win this game, little man?" Sonny asked, catching the child easily and tossing him in the air.
"YES!" RJ cheered, clapping his hands. "I wanna be on your team!"
"Let's get outside and figure it out before your mama chases us out with her wooden spoon." Sonny said, heading for the door.
The rest filed out after them. Jess tucked in close between Trent and Scott without really thinking about it, listening to Emma tell her about her end of term drama with her housemates. It was reminiscent of when Jess had housemates and she had to say she didn't miss it at all.
Stuffing her hands into her vest, Jess relished the nip in the air when the stepped into the grey day. The clouds were heavy and it smelled almost like it might snow, which would be a treat because she really loved the snow.
"Here, Jess!" Emma said, passing her a familiar stick that Jason had brought along, extra just for her.
"Thanks!" Jess took it and resisted the urge to look up the street as two cars approached and slowed when they got nearer. Instead of keeping her head on a swivel, she circled round and situated herself so that Trent and Clay were behind her and Sonny and Ray were in front. If they noticed, they didn't say a peep and kept the 'formation' up until the cars stopped.
"Hey! Look who it is!" Jason's smile was genuine as he looked over where Brock was getting out of his car. Aother person was getting out of the second car that pulled up behind, parking on the side of the road. "Brock managed to talk you into coming after all!"
Peering curiously around Clay, Jess took a moment to recognize who it was. Trevor Bailey approached with Brock and Cerberus, carrying his own stick and dressed comfortably for the game and the weather.
"Yeah," Laughed Trevor. "He really twisted my arm so I figured I should stop by before my shift and play a game at least."
"Glad you could make it, brother!" Ray said clasping the young man's hand and 'bro' hugging him. "We're just dividing up teams now!"
"Sounds good." Trevor answered lightly, joining the group without a hint of awkwardness. "Who's the meanest? I want to make sure I'm on their team so I make it to my shift."
"Jameelah!" Sonny called out, grinning when the little girl threw a dirty look his way.
"What?! No I'm not!"
"That's right, baby girl," Ray laughed. "Uncle Trent is the mean one!"
Trevor shook his head and laughed with the rest, drawing a louder laugh when he said, "It's always the medics! Why is that?"
"It's cause you're all a bunch of whiners, that's why." Trent told them mildly as he headed to one end of the 'rink'. "I don't who's team this is, but I'm playing this side."
"Nah, uh. You put your stick in the pile just like everyone else." Jason ordered, forcing the man to turn around and come back with a long suffering sigh.
"You really gotta watch out for Emma actually." Clay told Trevor helpfully. "She's kinda vicous. And Naima, whenever she joins us."
"Yeah, and Jess, is sneaky," Brock warned. "She comes out of nowhere."
"I do not," Jess said with a laughing scoff.
"Do not listen to that innocent young woman," Sonny countered, pointing at Jess with his other hand on his hip. "She just darts in there and steals it like it's nothing. Gotta watch out for her."
"Small and quiet. Really does take ya by surprise! Jameelah too and RJ isn't took bad." Scott added with an undertone of double meaning. Jess had a feeling he was warning everyone to be careful not to hurt anyone by accident, herself included if she dipped in and took the road hockey ball away when they were rough housing.
"Duly noted." Trevor said, his easy smile gracing his face and he tossed his stick in the pile so they could divy out the teams. His hair was a little longer than Jess remembered, revealing a curly head of brown when he adjusted his ball cap to sit backward.
"Who are you?" RJ asked bluntly. He'd been eyeing the man ever since he walked up with all the stink eye suspicion of a paranoid CIA agent.
Ray came to the rescue before Trevor could reply.
"RJ, this is a friend of ours. His name is Trevor and he's a police officer."
RJ lit up and asked excitedly, "Where's your car?! Do you have friends who are firefighters?!"
The grin on Trevor's face grew and his easy laugh rose with the others as he looked into RJ's earnest face.
"Sorry buddy, my cruiser is at work. They don't let me take it home, and yeah, i have a bunch of friends who are firefighters."
"COOL!" RJ cheered, deciding that Trevor was alright afterall. "That's my sister Jameelah! And That's Emma, and Mikey and that's my Jess!"
A little startled by RJ's pronouncement that she was 'his Jess' and effectively having her heart melt, Jess held back a 'awww' and put her hand on her heart.
"Wow! Hey," Sonny squawked, "Your Jess? Why is she only 'your Jess?"
RJ squirmed down and held up his arms to Jess instead stating, "Because Jess makes me cookies and lets me bring home rocks from the park!"
Going a little red, Jess lifted the boy up into her arms with a little effort. He was getting big.
Ray groaned as something suddenly made sense now, saying, " That's where all the rocks in the washing machine came from!"
Wincing a little, Jess said with an apologetic smile, "Rocks are cool?"
"At least it wasn't a snake!" Clay said as the group split and picked up the sticks again now that Jason had divided them up.
The teams ended up as Jameelah had hoped. Jess was on her team along with Scott, Jason, Clay, Emma and Lisa. The other team had Sonny, Ray, RJ, Trent, Trevor and Mikey.
At one point while they were waiting for a car to pass them on the road, just around the start of the game, Trevor ended up standing near Jess and she figured now was a good time to greet him properly.
She glanced up at him and offered a smile.
"Hi!" She said warmly. "How's it going?"
Trevor's wide grin was replaced with a thoughtful kind of warmth and he said, "I'm doing ok…I, ah, heard what happened from Brock. I'm really glad you're safe."
Snorting humorlessly, Jess heard herself say with brutal honesty, "Most people say 'glad you're ok'. I much prefer how you said it. So, thank you."
Trevor gave her an understanding half smile and shrugged, "Yeah, well…it's pretty obvious that someone wouldn't be 'ok' after an experience like yours, Jess, so if people are saying that, they need to rethink the wording a bit. I do mean though. I'm glad you're safe now."
"Yeah, me too," Jess rested her stick against her shoulder and let her fingers lift to the pendant under her sweater, tracing it to reassure herself it was still there and flicking her eyes around to double check that everyone was there. Everyone was safe, like her.
"The important question is though…did you find any cool plants?" Trevor asked seriously and with genuine curiosity.
The question was one that no one had asked her yet, as if they were afraid to trigger anything related to the trip at all.
Surprisingly, instead of upset or bad memories, Jess's mind was flooded with that happy part of her adventure and warmth flooded her bones as she thought about the samples she found.
"Actually, yes!" She couldn't stop the smile as she brought her face back up. "I found a lot of really cool plants, and I was told by my teacher that they made it home in good condition too, so we can start research on them in the new semester."
"That's awesome!" Trevor grinned, his whole face lifting as he took in the information. "Did you see any-"
"BAILEY! BALL!"
His head snapped round and he flicked the hockey stick out just in time to stop it.
The action moved Jess's limbs and she darted in right away to get the ball from him. It wasn't easy. Trevor was as good as any of the others there. Scott backed her up seconds later, hip checking the smaller man out of the way and blocking him from getting back to the target.
"Jess! Here!" Jason called.
The girl flicked the ball away from her just in time before Sonny plowed into her. The Texan didn't exactly stop in time and he knocked her back a few steps into Scott and Trevor.
"Watch it!" Scott growled darkly, hand catching Jess under the elbow so she didn't fall.
"Sorry, ocean-fearing buddy!" Sonny grinned cheekily at her and Jess couldn't be mad. She appreciated that he wasn't walking on eggshells around her or acting like she might break.
"It's ok," Jess answered. "I'm fine."
Really, she wasn't exactly 'fine'. Unknown to poor Scott, the second he caught her elbow and applied pressure, Jess got jarred back being lead down hallways multiple times by her captors. If it hadn't been for the cold air and the lively action around her, she might have been stuck there longer.
"You good?" Scott asked, having long since let her go.
"Uh huh."
"You sure?"
"Even if I wasn't, I'm going to be because I want today." Jess mumbled, casting a pained, pleading look up to her ever vigilant protector, wordlessly asking him to let it go.
"Alright." Scott took off again, gunning for Sonny purposely now and making the burly man sweat.
Naima and Blackburn joined them a few minutes later, evening out the teams and everything got well underway.
It was a great game and Jess loved every minute of it. Even more perfect was that it started to snow a bit while they played and that brought Jess to life like nothing else had in weeks.
She turned into a giddy child, all smiles, chattering none stop to anyone close by about the ridiculous things she did growing up in Maine and about when they would go up into Quebec to go snowboarding. There were stories about moose hunting, and using horses to pull her or Pauline around on a pair of skis after making a ski course in the snow one year when it snowed a lot. She told them about the two eagles she'd nursed back to health through that same harsh winter at the wildlife rehab center where she worked in high school.
In turn, with the excitement and stories she told, Jess grew bold again as she played, just like last time. She and Emma were nearly unstoppable at the end with the way they could swoop in and steal goals while the boys roughhoused.
By the end of the hockey game Jess was exhausted, happy and calmer than she'd been in what felt like years.
"You coming in for dinner?" Brock asked Trevor as they cleared up the road and headed up.
"I would love to, but I really got to get to work. It's always a fun night on Christmas eve. All kinds of glorified babysitting."
Naima was already marching into the house, calling over her shoulder, "Don't you leave just yet, Trevor. I've got something for you to take."
"Oh, you really don't have-"
"Don't fight it." Ray whispered. "You won't win."
"Ah. I suppose I am dealing with a frogman's wife. I should know better."
"You really should." Brock laughed, clapping him on the shoulder. "I'm glad you could make it."
"It was great to see everyone and thank you! I wasn't going to have much of a Christmas this year, so this was great," Trevor said with genuine gratitude as Naima reappeared with a small bag filled with different containers of delicious smelling food.
Jess watched from the sidelines as she waited for there to be room for her to get inside. It didn't even occur to her that she hadn't scanned for Scott to reassure herself in almost thirty minutes now. She was still lost in being happy about the snow and relating to Trevor's gratitude over being drawn into the family because only a year ago they'd done the same for her.
Good people. Imperfect. Broken. Flawed. But, Good people all the same.
She didn't want to spend Christmas any other way.
By the time they got home, Jess was at the end of her abilities and social battery. The nice thing about Scott was that he didn't ever feel the need to fill a silent space, so it was nice and quiet for a full hour after they got home.
All the same, right before they sat down to watch a movie (mostly so Jess could curl up next to him and go to sleep without feeling guilty about needing someone there in order to fall asleep), Jess had a reason to break the silence.
She retrieved a small rectangle box from her room and handed it to Scott when he sank down next to her with a small whiskey.
"What's this?" He asked neutrally.
"I know we all said we weren't doing presents for each other, just for the kids, but…I saw this ages ago and couldn't help myself because I thought of you and thought it was cool."
The serious lines around Scott's mouth warmed and he opened it.
As he did so, Jess's nerves screamed because she really didn't do gift giving very well. Too many times the gifts she tried to give while growing up were never 'good enough' or she got in trouble somehow for not being grateful enough for the gift that she'd received, so now giving or receiving gifts stressed her out.
"Wait…this is…yeah!" Scott's face broke into a grin as he looked at the small, boxed tool in his hand. "I saw these and kept thinking I would get one and never did!"
"Really?" Jess was flooded with relief.
"Yeah! And this little art dremel had great reviews too. It's a great one! Thank you!"
Scott pulled her into a warm hug and Jess's anxiety was chased off.
"Yay! I'm glad you like it…I'm bad at gifts."
"No you aren't," Scott growled gruffly as he pulled away and smiled slightly at the tool again. "Now. Me on the other hand…I'm not sure how you'll react to this gift I've-"
"Please tell me you didn't get me something? You said you wouldn't!"
"I did not get you something…yet."
"Ok. Good."
"Double standard much, uh?"
"What?!"
"You got me something."
"That wasn't anything! It's just a random thing that I thought was cool."
"It is cool and I really like it."
"Really?"
"Yeah, I said I did. Why would I lie?"
"I don't know."
"You gonna listen to what I want to do for you or not."
"I'm listening," Jess clammed up with only parietal meekness in the face of his deeper growl. Mostly she was just tired and curious.
"I think…" Scott said slowly, watching her carefully and making her want to squirm with the intensity of that stare. "You need a dog. And I know how expensive they are, so I'm telling you right here and now, you pick the dog, I'll pay for it. No questions asked, you just give me the bills and I'll cover them. Don't care what it's for."
"Y-you can't be serious!"
"I'm dead serious. You need a dog. Let's get you a dog."
"For real?" Jess croaker.
"For real...only if you want one."
"Of course I want one!" Jess slammed into him with a fierce hug. "I can't believe I'm getting a dog!"
"It'll be good for you. Probably good for me too. You pick it. I'll buy it. It's your dog though. You train it and all the rest. I'm just the investor."
"I'm so happy!"
"Good. Merry Christmas. Let's get you a dog."