Notes:

WHAT?! A NEW CHAPTER IS FINALLY HERE. IN LESS THAN A MONTH? UNBELIEVABLE! Guys, I really think the fanfiction god has answered my prayer because HOW in the freaking hell that I suddenly become so productive?! :0
LET'S JUST WISH THIS BLESSING WILL STICK UNTIL THE END

Anyway yeah, a new chapter hehehehe. This ended up being so long, almost reaching like 14.5k?! I wanted to shorten it but I ended up not doing it because I feel like it would ruin the pacing.

So here you go, I hope you like this chapter! Happy reading!

CHAPTER 19: MIKASA ACKERMAN

A week passed in a blink of an eye, and before long, Hange found herself with the ticket that would bring her back to the district of Trost.

That ticket was not easy for her to get since her uncle was not pleased with her plan of boarding a night train. Uncle Alfred's poor nerves were plausibly screaming as he seemed to be very paranoid about the safety of the night journey.

However, as much as Hange loved her uncle, she could not be swayed from her choice. She thought that by taking the night train, she would be arriving at the Ackerman Estate right in time before breakfast, and she pretty much preferred that rather than gawkily showing up in the middle of the day.

Furthermore, by arriving right in the morning, she could easily schedule a full day of study sessions with Mikasa. Because, despite what Mr Ackerman said through his telegram, Hange still felt guilty for leaving her duty as a governess for such a sizable time, which as a result, pulled Mikasa behind the schedule of courses that Hange had carefully tailored for her.

Therefore, to amend her lack of promptness as well as the inconvenience she had caused to both her employer and pupil, Hange solemnly swore that she would return to the manor as a much more competent and dedicated governess.

After many back-and-forth arguments between the two, Uncle Alfred eventually accepted that his niece's stubbornness was not something that he could win over, so he allowed her. Although, it did come with a condition; Uncle Alfred compromised his defeat by buying her a first-class passenger ticket. Hange was of course reluctant to accept that luxury, especially not when they had just spent a considerable fortune on the funeral.

However, in the end, Hange could not refuse the apparent caring gesture from her uncle. Thereby she saw it as her filial piety for her uncle because in a way she would be giving him peace of mind by accepting that ticket.

On the day of the departure, Uncle Alfred saw her off at the railway station. Yet curiously enough, despite her obedience to his wish regarding the first-class carriage, his countenance was still far from happy, and he did not even bother to hide it. Hange herself knew the root of his discontent that he tried to bury under the façade of worry.

Nevertheless, to make things easier for her, Hange chose to pretend that she was foolishly unaware of her uncle's rebuff regarding her trip back to Ackerman Estate.

However, when she noticed his trembling hands as he held her so close to his frail old body, she did feel a little bad for her uncle. Still, Hange persisted. She wore a wide smile on her face as she waved her farewell to her uncle from the window of the train that would once more take her away from Nedlay.

When she could no longer see her uncle, Hange quickly assessed her carriage. Nobody seemed to board the same carriage as her, and thus she got all the room to herself, or at least it would be for a little while before people from the few next stations started to fill the train.

As she settled herself into the cushion of the passenger chair, she felt that the lack of sleep that she had experienced while staying in Nedlay seemed to finally catch up to her. Therefore, in the end, with no other person to talk to and with no scenery to view from the window, Hange ended up falling asleep within a few minutes of her boarding.

Hange was awakened hours later by the sunrise that gleamed from the window. She quickly learned that she had fallen asleep throughout the whole journey. Fortunately for her, her belongings were still intact, and she was exactly a stop away from Nedlay.

It was still quite early in the morning when she arrived at the Nedlay station. Other than the few carriages that came to and from the farm, the road was mostly empty. Hange saw three hansom cabs parked outside the station with its driver calling for passengers who would use their service.

It would be much faster for her to use the cab, of course, but on that particular morning, Hange decided to go on foot.

The journey from the station toward the Ackerman Estate took Hange around 30 minutes and she enjoyed every second of it. She had not realised how much she missed the slightly warmer temperatures of Trost and the vibrancy of the colour green on the trees until that walk.

Additionally, by walking on foot, she was able to greet and converse with some of the tenants who lived on the Ackerman Estate. Such as Mr Magnolia who was already working hard on his farm, the Collins triplets who were playing around the meadows, as well as Granny Church and her granddaughter who were cleaning around the family's carpentry shop.

'Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself' was something that her grandfather used to tell her when he was still alive. However, her meetings with some of the tenants that morning made her wonder about whether she could call the people who live on the Ackerman Estate as her neighbours since the manor is not exactly her home.

However, as much as she tried to deny it, it did start to feel like one to her.

Later, when Hange eventually arrived at the manor, she saw a maid—whom she had never seen before—sweeping fallen leaves that were scattered in the front yard of the manor. The young maid with the light brown hair seemed to notice Hange too because she immediately stopped what she was doing to wave her hand happily toward her.

"Good morning, Miss Hange," the girl greeted with a smile, "I've heard from Mrs Weiss that you will return today.

Hange raised her eyebrows at the girl who somehow acted like she already knew her. Not that Hange was bothered by it, she was just taken slightly aback by the maid's gentle geniality. The girl herself seemingly noticed this because she quickly spoke again.

"Ah, my apologies for being impolite. My name is Marlene, I'm the new maid. It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Miss Hange… And, well, my deepest condolence for your mother."

Hange remembered that Mrs Weiss had previously mentioned the advertisement that she had posted to the newspaper regarding the position of maid and how hard it was to find an honest servant. Fortunately, it seemed that Mrs Weiss was finally able to acquire a new maid while she was away.

"The pleasure is mine, Marlene, and yes, thank you for that," Hange replied amiably, "I hope you can settle in just fine here."

"Well, everyone has been so helpful to me, so I have no problem settling in."

"Oh, that's great, isn't it?"

In her short interaction with Marlene, she noticed that for a new maid that only begun working in the manor for around a week, she had such a striking cheerful and confident personality.

Hange was intrigued to get to know her more—especially since she also learned that they are around the same age—but Hange also did not want to bother her anymore from her task—therefore Hange excused herself and made her way toward the manor. The large door was already wide open when she arrived and so she welcomed herself inside the foyer.

When she took off her hat, gloves, and cape, she suddenly heard a soft feminine gasp from the hallway. Before she could turn away to see who the voice belonged to, a pair of hands had already pulled her into a quick hug.

"Miss Hange!"

The voice belonged to Nifa who looked so ecstatic to see her—a little bit too excited perhaps as Hange herself was nothing sort but a mere governess who went away for a short period. Yet, despite that, Hange did find comfort in the way Nifa enthusiastically greeted her. The knowledge that there was someone outside her family who willingly welcomed her with open arms did make her happy.

"Oh, Nifa! How are you? I feel like I haven't seen you in ages."

"I'm fine, Miss," Nifa answered sweetly, "But most importantly, how are you, Miss Hange?"

Hange shrugged with a small grin, "I'm still hanging on, as you can see."

Nifa's expression quickly shifted to a more solemn one as she said, "I'm so very sorry for your loss, Miss Hange… My heart goes out to you."

"Thank you, Nifa," Hange smiled, but not the kind of polite smile she had given the past few days, but an unrehearsed smile that came naturally to her face.

Nifa nodded gently before asking, "Well then, why don't you rest for today, Miss? I'm sure you must be tired."

"Oh, I appreciate it, Nifa, but I don't want to take another day off. Besides, I'm not tired since I had quite a nice sleep while on the train," Hange explained good-naturedly, "By the way, how is Mikasa? Is she still sleeping?"

Nifa's expression fell a little gloomily when she answered, "Y-yeah, she is still sleeping. I just got back from her room actually and I was about to go to the kitchen when I saw you here, Miss."

Hange narrowed her eyes as she stared concerningly at Nifa, "What's wrong? Did something happen to her?"

"Uh, no… I mean, not really, it's just… She has been quite low on energy lately and much quieter ever since you left, Miss. So, I guess she must be worried about you, and lonely too, perhaps."

"Oh… Is that so?"

"Yeah," Nifa replied thoughtfully, "I believe your presence truly made a difference to the young lady, Miss Hange. Because, in just little days without you here, Miss Mikasa immediately returned to her old self…"

"Old self?" Hange repeated inquisitively, "What do you mean by that, Nifa?"

"Well, how to say it… Miss Mikasa was in reality very quiet, passive, and closed off when she first came to this manor. It did become a lot better as the years went by, but she always looked like she was stuck in her own thoughts. I mean, you probably still remember that right, Miss Hange? She was still like that when you met her for the first time."

Hange did remember that quite vividly. A pale young girl with a ghastly melancholic face and dress as dark as her long silky hair; A kid with an appearance that was similar to a gothic porcelain doll that she would see on the windows of a toy store.

Truth be told, Hange almost forgot how lifeless and distant Mikasa was at the beginning. Therefore, to think that she was much worse two years ago baffled Hange. Nevertheless, to learn that she suddenly acted like that two years later made Hange even more concerned for Mikasa.

"Does Mr Ackerman know about this?"

"He does and is very much worried about the young miss, which is why he had been staying in the manor ever since you left, Miss Hange."

"Oh? Is that so" Hange was aghast. The last time she knew, Mr Ackerman and Mikasa were still in a bad term. However, ever since the two of them sent her a bouquet for the funeral and not to mention it was her favourite one, she deduced that the pair had made their peace to each other. Nifa's answer was the final confirmation, and she could not be more delighted by the outcome.

On the other hand, for someone like Mr Ackerman—who rarely spent his time in the manor—to willingly throw aside his precious work schedule so he could stay with his niece, led Hange to believe that Mikasa's condition must be very critical.

"Hey Nifa," Hange suddenly called, "Do you think I can help you by preparing Mikasa's morning tea?"

"Oh, surely Miss." Nifa beamed, "She will be happy to know that you made it for her."

Right at the same time, Marlene entered the foyer. She gladly offered herself to help putting Hange's hat, gloves, cape, and bag away to its place. After thanking Marlene, Hange immediately followed Nifa to the kitchen, where she met Mrs Koch alongside the two other kitchen maids, Lily and Ada, who were in the middle of breakfast preparation. Hange greeted them cheerfully and asked to borrow a small space in their kitchen to make tea.

She expected Mrs Koch to warn her to not make a mess, but much to her surprise, what she got was a tight bear hug from the senior lady. Even Lily and Ada made out their way to give her a quick but warm hug. Then, out of the blue, Mr Dunbar appeared in the kitchen and immediately shook her hand to express his sorry.

"Do tell us if you need anything, alright?" Mr Dunbar spoke kindly.

Hange was stunned by it and could only mutter soft gratitude for their kind gesture.

Oh no, she thought, she is truly in trouble. What should she do now that the manor had begun to feel like a home?

Like her home.

When Hange arrived at Mikasa's room with Nifa, Mikasa was sound asleep. However, Hange noticed that Mikasa was far from being restful. She looked tired and tormented as her pale face contorted uncomfortably in her sleep.

The braid that Nifa had tied last night had loosened up long ago, resulting in her raven hair becoming a mess on the pillow. Even some of the strands stuck to the side of her forehead, indicating that she seemed to be sweating profusely in her sleep.

Hange furrowed her brows at the little girl before whispering to Nifa, "She doesn't look so well… Is she sick?"

"I'm not sure, Miss…" Nifa quietly put the tea tray on the bedside table, "I checked on her every night, and she was fine, no fever, no cough, no rash—nothing really. Although, I do think she is far from it… Yet, I do not know what exactly she is feeling."

Hange looked at Mikasa with concern before she sat on the side of the bed next to her and gently pat her on the shoulder, "Mikasa, wake up."

Hange touched her shoulder repeatedly until Mikasa finally stirred up from her sleep and slowly opened her eyes. Right at the same time, Nifa uncovered the curtains to let the early morning light shine through the window. Mikasa quickly closed her eyes again and rubbed it as if she was stung by the light.

She stirred up once more before eventually opening her eyes fully. Hange saw her dark grey eyes were blinking diffidently in her direction. Then suddenly, Mikasa's eyes shot widely opened as she let out a gasp; and before Hange could even react, Mikasa had launched herself from the bed to reach her for an embrace.

"Hange! You are back! You are back! Oh, I can't believe it. You are back!" She exclaimed in both bewilderment and joy.

"Oh, dear! What makes you think I will not come back?" Hange chuckled lightly, "Well, I do owe you an apology though, Mikasa… I'm sorry that it took me so long to return."

Mikasa did not reply, instead, her hold on Hange became even more tighter and somehow more desperate. Hange was confused by her sudden touchiness, but Hange remained silent and instead she soothingly brushed Mikasa's hair with her fingers.

After a while, Hange broke their silence and said, "Hey, I made you tea, you should drink it before it gets cold."

Mikasa begrudgingly let go of the hug and leaned back on the headboard. And that was when Mikasa seemingly noticed the mourning black dress that Hange was wearing. Peculiarly enough, it somehow clouded Mikasa's expression with such indescribable uneasiness.

"Black is not exactly my colour, I suppose?" Hange remarked playfully in the most nonchalant way possible. She knew that wearing a mourning dress as a governess would make such a striking difference to her as she did not usually wear many dark-coloured dresses.

Sadly, Mikasa did not reply to her remark, which was odd and troubling for Hange. Meanwhile, Nifa—who had poured the tea into the cup—gave said cup alongside the saucer to the little girl.

When Mikasa inhaled the aroma from the warm liquid, she spontaneously raised her eyebrows.

"Oh…" Mikasa murmured, "This is just like what you made that day, Hange."

"Ah, so you still remember," Hange gleamed happily as Mikasa referred to the first day of their lesson. Back then she also came to Mikasa's room with the same tea.

Mikasa nodded as she took another sip from the tea and a comfortable silence surrounded them. However, Hange could feel something hanging on the tip of her tongue, begging to be said.

"Hey, are you okay, Mikasa?" Hange eventually asked as Mikasa's exhaustion did not seem to improve, not even slightly, after the tea. Moreover, with the light that came from the sun, Hange could see the deep shadow underneath Mikasa's eyes.

"I'm okay."

"Are you sure? You don't look like one."

"I'm sure."

Hange paused before asking, "Can I check your temperature?"

"I don't have a fever."

"I just want to be sure, please?"

Mikasa glanced at Hange morosely before nodding her head and giving her permission.

Hange bit the inside of her cheek as she touched Mikasa's forehead and compared it to hers. Much to her dismay, Mikasa was right. Hange could not detect the difference in their temperature.

Still, Hange could not shake the worry out of her. Even after Nifa was done helping Mikasa to get ready for the day, it was apparent that there was no amount of warm wash of water and Nifa's talented styling could take the hollowness and strain out of Mikasa's expression.

When asked whether she wanted to skip her lesson for a day so she could rest, Mikasa refused by saying that she had gone very long without Hange's lectures. Henceforth, Hange had no choice but to oblige since it would be a governess' greatest crime to deny a student's eagerness to study.

Hange originally planned on not joining the breakfast that morning. Other than not having the appetite for it, she was also not quite ready to meet him yet. However, when Mikasa learned about her intention, she mirrored it, saying that she also did not want to eat anything that morning.

Nifa and Hange were of course freaked out by Mikasa's bold claim. Judging from her condition, missing a meal could have meant great danger for her little body. Thus, for she also had the obligation to become a good example for her only student, Hange compelled herself to attend the breakfast.

As usual, Mr Ackerman was already seated on the head chair with most of his upper body hidden behind the newspaper that he was reading. A cup of his dark black tea was put neatly on the side, just within his reach.

He swiftly moved his newspaper a little to the side when he heard their footstep.

Hange caught, though briefly, that he was slightly startled by her appearance. However, it was quickly replaced by his usual impassiveness—which left Hange to wonder whether her previous observation was true or not.

"Good morning, sir," Hange greeted him politely, or at least she tried to, but it was proven hard to maintain that faux everything-is-alright when her own heart was beating uncontrollably inside her chest.

"Morning," he replied curtly before turning his attention to Mikasa to ask her, "Did you sleep well?"

"Hmm," Mikasa hummed as she sat on the chair on the left side of his table.

"I asked you a question," he reiterated pettily but also somehow gently.

Mikasa huffed before answering, "I did."

After that, no one said anything, not even after plates of food were laid on the table. Usually, Hange would engage herself in a conversation with Mikasa during their meal. However, that morning, Hange was distracted by the way Mikasa ate.

Mikasa would only take a small bite from her plate before spacing out. Hence, by the time Hange had almost finished with her meal, there was still more than a half portion of food on Mikasa's plate. However, Mikasa did not seem like she wanted to eat anymore since she had pushed the plate away from her.

"Hey, finish your meal," came Mr Ackerman's firm voice who seemed to also notice her cousin's disclination in her food.

Mikasa shook her head, "No. I'm full."

"No, you are not. You barely eaten anything since yesterday."

"How do you know? You are not me." Mikasa fumed, "I'm not hungry."

"I just know that you are."

"I'm not."

"You are!"

"I am not!"

He looked like he wanted to argue but if he did, he swallowed it back. He went back to his plate before casually telling her, "I asked Doctor Chastain to come tomorrow morning."

Hange raised her brows at the information. It seemed that he had taken the issues into his own hands. Hange could only imagine how worried he must have been about his cousin's condition that he even called a doctor to come.

Meanwhile, Mikasa was visibly irritated and offended by what her cousin had just said. "I'm not sick," she whined angrily at Mr Ackerman.

"And I don't care. I'm not taking no for an answer."

Despite her earlier irritation, much to Hange's surprise, Mikasa did not retort or even argue. She only frowned as she accepted her defeat.

"I hate you," Mikasa spoke under her breath, but she certainly made it loud enough for Mr Ackerman to hear.

"I know."

Hange smiled clandestinely at them. Then, as she noticed that Mikasa was still refusing to finish her meal, Hange decided to lend Mr Ackerman a hand.

"Mikasa," Hange called gently, "Can you at least eat the boiled egg, please?"

Mikasa turned to look at Hange and pouted, "… I can't."

"You can, I know you can. Mrs Koch cooked it today knowing that you like it. So, I think it will make her day a lot better when she knows that you ate it."

"But…"

"Just the egg, please?" Hange pleaded, "Then after that, we can begin our lesson."

Mikasa glanced at her plate in disinterest before finally sliding it back to her and poking her fork at the forgotten slices of a boiled egg on the plate. She was uncertain at first, but eventually, she was able to eat it all.

"See, that was not so hard, right?" Hange cheered proudly, "You did great!"

Subsequently, as Hange had finished her breakfast and Mikasa had fulfilled her promise to eat a little more, it was time for their lesson. Hange glanced at the direction of the head of the table and noticed that Mr Ackerman did not appear like he would leave anytime soon, Therefore, Hange politely excused herself and Mikasa from the dining room.

"Later, Levi," Mikasa said as she followed behind Hange.

Mr Ackerman, without taking his eyes from the newspaper that he put on the table next to his plate, replied, "Later. Don't push yourself too hard."

The whole exchange was short and, on the surface, meaningless. However, for Hange, there was an underlying mark of growth in a relationship that was never there before.

Mikasa was a great student, and Hange did not say it because of bias, but because Mikasa was genuinely great at listening to her lecture. She did not ask a lot of questions, but she seldom failed in her assignment. She knew what she needed to know, and it was more than enough for Hange.

That day, she assigned her to answer some of the questions using an algebra formula that she had previously shown Mikasa how to solve. However regrettably so, an hour later, Mikasa returned the assignment with only the first two questions answered, and they were all wrong.

Later, she gave her an assignment to translate some of the English vocabulary into Greek, and yet she returned it blank. Not only that but no matter how much Hange tried to explain everything back to her, in the hope that she would catch it and understand, it simply bounced back. Nothing was able to permeate Mikasa's mind.

When it was time for lunch, they went back to the dining room. However, they could not find Mr Ackerman in there. Moblit later informed them that Mr Ackerman decided to take his meal in his room since he could not leave the mountain of paperwork that he needed to do.

Hange and Mikasa sat across from each other at the table during lunch, and just like that morning, Mikasa only ate so little. Hange had to once again persuade her to finish at least half of her already small portion.

When their next session began, Hange started the lesson by explaining to Mikasa about the life cycle of a plant, but again she was not listening to any of her lectures. However, Hange knew she could still hear her, because when a sudden huge blast of winds rattled the trees outside the manor, Mikasa was frightened to the point that she almost jumped out of her seat.

"Mikasa," Hange suddenly closed the book that she was showing in her explanation and looked at Mikasa carefully, "I think we should call this lesson off so you can rest… You are clearly unwell."

Mikasa shook her head rapidly, "No-no, I'm alright. Let's continue."

Hange did not want to continue with their lesson but denying her seemed not right either for Hange. She thought hard for a while before finally deciding to alter their lesson a little.

"Then, how about we take it slow today?" Hange asked softly, "Maybe we can paint or maybe we can do some embroidery? Write poetry too, perhaps? We can also do piano if you want to."

Mikasa's eyes brightened subtly at the last sentence. "Piano will be nice," she muttered.

"Yeah," Hange nodded, "I think it will be."

After they tidied up the books, papers, and pen on the table, they left the library and went next door, to the green drawing room where the grand piano waited them.

The piano lesson might have been Mikasa's choice, and she appeared to be trained in playing it ever since she was still a child, but somehow, she made a lot of mistakes—even novice mistakes—when playing it that day. Hange even had to guide her, note by note, from the start until the end, something that she had never done to Mikasa before.

After they finished learning one song, Hange decided that Mikasa was really in no shape to be learning. Therefore, she once again suggested that Mikasa should retreat to her room and rest before dinner.

Mikasa initially refused, but after some persuading from Hange, she agreed but with one condition: she wanted Hange to play a piece of music for her before the lesson ended for the day.

Hange agreed and let Mikasa choose which piece she wanted her to play. Mikasa flipped through the music book and showed her a page that showed one of Chopin's musical pieces, Étude Op. 25, No. 5.

Hange happily accepted her request and sat down on the piano chair. She took a deep breath and skimmed through the musical sheets before she finally began her play.

When Hange was little, her governess once called this piece a beautiful mess of melody because when you first hear it, the music sounded like it was being played quickly with the wrong note. However, after the first part, the dissonance changed into a beautiful melody that starts a little bit slow before it rises in tempo. Then the dissonance notes returned before they got replaced again by the beautiful melody that would end the piece.

Hange had a different view than her governess though since for her it sounded more like a piece of music that celebrates life; there is a story being conveyed by the shift of dissonant notes and beautiful melody. There is a story about the ups and downs of a person's journey from birth to death. There is a story about the pain and comfort of connecting with other people. There is a story about the ugliness and beauty of the world itself.

There is a story about her and the faith that the tragedies in her life were worth living through because everything would eventually end on a happy note.

As Hange continued her play, she noticed that Mikasa moved from her standing position to sitting on the piano chair, specifically on the empty space next to her. She thought Mikasa wanted to see how she played it, so she scooted a little to the side. However, as Hange was about to reach the last part of the musical piece, she suddenly felt that Mikasa was leaning against her side.

Hange wanted to say that Mikasa was making it difficult for her to move her right hand, but she bit back her words as she sensed the alarming warmness that came from Mikasa's body. Hange abruptly stopped her play and turned toward Mikasa.

"Mikasa, are you really fine?" Hange put a hand on Mikasa's forehead, and unlike that morning, this time her body was a little above the normal temperature.

"I'm fine, I'm fine," Mikasa said as she tried to shake Hange's palm away from her forehead.

"You are certainly not fine, Mikasa," Hange said firmly, "We should tell your cousin."

"No!" Mikasa exclaimed, "Do not tell him!"

"Why not?" Hange pressed calmly.

"I-I just don't want to add any more trouble to his mind," Mikasa averted her gaze away from Hange, "I already worry him enough."

Hange was taken aback by Mikasa's answer. She understood where Mikasa was coming from, but at the same time, she also knew that Mr Ackerman was already worried sick for her.

"Mikasa…"

"Please, Hange… Doctor Chastain will come tomorrow anyway, right?"

Hange stared at Mikasa with concern before letting out a sigh, "Okay, I will not tell. But only if you promise me that you will finish your dinner this time."

Mikasa nodded, "I'll try."

"No, not try, you have to," Hange reprimanded, "Then after that, you will be a good girl and sleep, okay?"

"Okay."

Hange smiled and gently pulled her into a quick hug. Then she and Mikasa went to the dining room to ask for an early dinner for Mikasa. Mrs Koch happily made one for her while Nifa—whom Hange notified about Mikasa's condition—went on to prepare a warm bath for her.

When the meal was served, Hange patiently waited by Mikasa's side as she tried to keep her promise by finishing all the food on her plate. It took her quite a long time, but Mikasa finally ate all her dinner.

At the same time, Nifa arrived at the dining room to escort her back to her room.

"Well then, I'll see you tomorrow, Mikasa. Rest well, okay?"

Mikasa gave Hange a quick smile, "Yeah… Bye, Hange."

Hange caught a bit of uncertainty behind that smile as if there was something she wanted to ask but she didn't. However, before Hange could probe her, they were interrupted by the sound of a door being opened. Turned out, from the side door that led toward the kitchen, Moblit emerged with a wide tray in his hands.

"Oh," Moblit greeted them politely, "Good evening, Miss Mikasa, Miss Hange, and Nifa."

"Is that for Levi?" Mikasa immediately asked while she stared at the huge stainless-steel food cover on the tray.

"It is, Miss. Mr Levi requested for his dinner to be brought again to his room."

Mikasa furrowed her brows, "Why? Is he still busy?"

"I'm afraid so… It seemed he was sent a lot of papers that he needs to review and report regarding his business in Mitras. He did not say this outright, but something probably happened there because he just asked Abel to book him a railway ticket for tomorrow."

"Oh…" There was a slight tone of dejection in Mikasa's voice that Hange noticed, "So, he will leave tomorrow?"

"Y-yeah," Moblit pursed his lips, "I'm sorry, Miss… Had he not told you about that already?"

Mikasa shook her head, "No, he had not… But thank you for letting me know, Mr Moblit."

Without saying anything more or even waiting for Moblit's reply, Mikasa picked up her pace as she abruptly made her way out of the dining room. Hange and Moblit could only stare at each other in puzzlement and concern.

"Don't worry, I'll handle it," Nifa told both Hange and Moblit reassuringly before she left to follow Mikasa.

As her schedule was cleared for the rest of the day, Hange decided to spend her spare time in the library to prepare all the necessary materials for Mikasa's upcoming lessons. Then, when it was time for dinner, Hange decided to have it alongside the servants in the servants' hall rather than having to eat alone in the dining room.

During dinner, Nifa informed Hange that Mikasa was finally asleep, and her fever seemed to lower a little after the warm bath. Nifa then said that she originally wanted to stay the night with Mikasa, but Mikasa didn't seem like she wanted to, so Nifa could not force it.

"I just hope nothing bad happened during the night," Nifa murmured nervously.

Just like Nifa, Hange was also worried for Mikasa as she could not shake the image of how odd Mikasa was during the whole day. Even when Hange had already put down her hair to tie it into a loose braid and changed into her nightgown, her mind kept reminding her about Mikasa. She tried to distract herself by reading a poetry book, but it was futile as she could barely even read past the first page.

To think that Mikasa was there all alone in her room bothered Hange a great deal. She had heard so many cases of children dying in their sleep—either because of high fever or underlying undetected illness—that she could not stay still nor sleep in peace knowing that Mikasa was unwell when she went to sleep that night.

There had to be something that she could do.

Hange ultimately closed her book and stood up from her bed. She swiftly wore her long cream-coloured dressing gown and grabbed the chamberstick from the top of the table. She transiently lit the candle on the chamberstick and then quietly exited her room.

The hallway outside her room was quiet, too quiet even. If she tried, she could probably hear the sound of bats flying outside the manor. Hange tightened the ties around her dressing gown as goosebumps suddenly came down on her back. She did not remember that August's night could be so freezing.

Hange was wearing her ever so sturdy bed slippers, but that night, she somehow could feel the fur from the carpet touching her bare sole every time she moved her legs.

Something did not feel right, and yet she could not place it.

At least not until it happened.

Hange had only taken three steps when she heard it.

Sob.

She halted her movement and spontaneously held her breath. For a second, she thought she had misheard something. Maybe it was just the sound that an old manor tends to make during the night. Maybe it was just the sound of wind blowing against the windows. Maybe it was just her mind playing tricks on her. Maybe—

Sob.

Hange could feel her heart skip a beat while her hold on the chamberstick tightened. There was no doubt that the sound—a muffled weeping—came from somewhere within the manor. Though it certainly did not from the right wing as it sounded way too far away from where she stood.

But where?

Unexpectedly, and certainly against her will, Hange remembered the story that Moblit once told her about the ghost who lives in the left wing of the manor.

At first, the resurfaced memory frightened her. As much as she hated to admit it, she was not immune to paranormal stories or activities. If she could choose, she would rather not be dealing with them. She preferred them to remain unseen and unheard to her.

Sob.

However, when she heard it again, a different kind of feeling took over her. She was not sure if it was pity or sorrow, but one thing was for sure, Hange was no longer feeling as scared as she was before. At least not when the supposed ghost showed their existence to her by wailing so heartbreakingly that it almost tore her soul into pieces.

With the little courage that she had, Hange picked up her pace and walked again through the hallway until she finally stood on the top of the right-wing's stairs. The manor was dark, and her spectacles were not helping her either, but across from where she stood, she could see the blurry figure of someone in white.

The sobbing had now become very clear in her ears, and she knew that it came from that figure who was walking across the hallway of the left wing.

Hange took a long and deep breath before she descended the stairs of the right-wing to come closer to the mysterious ghost of the left wing. But when she stopped at the intersection that connected the two stairs, she suddenly became uncertain of her choice. Nevertheless, the sounds kept pulling her closer to the left wing in the same way sailors were drawn to the sea by the sirens.

As she was not able to resist that impulse, she subsequently took a step up the stairs, then another step, and another until she was finally getting close to the upper floor of the left wing. However, just as she was about to take the last three steps of the stairs, she found the mysterious figure staring at her in silence.

Unmoving.

That was when she saw the face of the ghost which made her instinctively gasped.

However, before she could let out a yell, Hange felt something pulling her wrist. She immediately turned her head back to see what had just touched her. She was ready to throw the chamberstick in case it was a stranger or a burglar or even a ghost, but it was neither of those. It was—

"Mr Ackerman?" Hange squealed.

Mr Ackerman, who was still holding her wrist, swiftly made a gesture by putting his index finger in front of his mouth. Something that Hange complied by immediately closing her mouth and biting back her shriek.

He subsequently let go of her hand and walked past her. Hange's eyes followed him as he made his way to the figure who still remained unmoved on their spot. Hange used that moment to examine the figure once again, to make sure that her eyes were not failing her earlier when she saw their face.

It did not take her long to realise that her eyes were working just fine. She was right. The figure was not a ghost, but a human, a little girl who was none other than Mikasa herself who stared emptily at her surroundings with a pair of unblinking glassy eyes.

Mr Ackerman ever so gently touched Mikasa and led her back to her room. She was no longer crying but there were still some tears falling from her eyes. Hange, who was still unsure about the situation, closely followed them from behind.

The door was already slightly opened when they arrived. Hange closed the door behind her when they all got inside and watched as Mr Ackerman tucked Mikasa back into the bed. He hushed her to sleep while he also tried to dry her tears away by using a handkerchief. After a while, she eventually closed her eyes and fell back to sleep again.

Hange stood silently near the footboard of the bed. Shocked was an understatement of what she was feeling at that moment. She was beyond speechless as she could only stare at the restless body of Mikasa.

Somnambulism or sleepwalking was not a new phenomenon for Hange. She had read about it and had heard stories about patients—mostly children around Mikasa's age that her uncle and grandfather used to treat—who suffered from it. However, she did not have any clue or even notice that Mikasa was suffering from that same condition as well.

"… When did it all start?" Hange half whispered as she started to walk to the other side of the bed, across from Mr Ackerman.

Mr Ackerman—who Hange realised still wearing his day outfit except the coat and tie—glanced at Hange pensively and wearily before responding, "It was two years ago, I suppose, not too long after she started living here… One night I suddenly heard a series of loud thuds coming from the main hall that turned out to be the sound of her falling down the stairs."

Hange put her chamberstick on the bedside table and then sat on the empty side of the bed while her eyes were still glued to Mikasa's agitated expression.

"I think you can still see the bruise on her knees," Mr Ackerman added.

Hange could feel her mouth quiver downward, but she tried to keep herself from breaking down, and yet her voice still came out gruffly when she asked, "Did she always experience this every night?"

"Almost… though it varied. Sometimes she only walked in her sleep and sometimes she only had bad dreams, but most of the time she had both."

Suddenly, it became very clear to her why Mikasa's room was almost empty. It was to keep Mikasa from any furniture or objects that could harm her while she had her episode.

"But… If that is the case, then why the door is not locked?"

"It's much more dangerous to keep her locked inside, don't you think? What if something happened and she could not escape?"

"Ah, right…" Hange replied and at the same moment, she also realised that Nifa used to accompany Mikasa through the night. Back then she thought Mikasa was probably scared of sleeping alone, it turned out that Nifa was probably assigned by Mr Levi to watch over Mikasa during her episode.

However, if she remembered correctly, it had been quite some time since Nifa had slept in Mikasa's room. Well, unless during that one night after she fought with her cousin, though that was clearly because she was feeling upset that night because, by the next day, she was able to sleep alone just fine. So, would not that indicate that she was getting better to the point that she could be left on her own? Why did it suddenly come back?

Unfortunately, before she could get any answer, Mikasa unexpectedly began to move around in her sleep, which startled both Hange and Mr Ackerman. Hange scooted herself closer to Mikasa and cautiously put her hand on Mikasa's head and shoulder so she could try rubbing some soothing touch to her.

But then Mikasa suddenly screamed and sat up from the bed. Her eyes were wide open in horror and her body was trembling so greatly as she gasped for breath. Hange could feel that Mikasa's body was sticky and wet from the cold sweats that seemed to drench her like rainwater.

After a while, she finally noticed Hange's presence, and in doing so she suddenly jumped toward Hange and hugged her tight. Hange was confused by her action, but she swallowed back her questions and gently tapped Mikasa on the back as the girl kept wailing in her embrace.

"Don't go!" Mikasa screamed in between her sobs.

"Wh-what? But I'm not going anywhere?" Hange replied softly though at the same time, she looked at Mr Ackerman for an answer.

Unfortunately, the man himself was just as perplexed as Hange.

Crash!

Mikasa opened her eyes to what sounded to be a broken glass.

Crash!

The same sound that followed came from outside of the bedroom and it woke her up immediately. Mikasa stirred up from the bed and that was when she noticed that her parents were neither on her side. She sat up and glanced around the dimly lit room, using the only source of light that came from the moon that peeked from outside of the window as her guide.

When she could not see anything, she then began to listen. When she listened carefully, she could hear the muffled sound of conversation from outside of the door. However, it did not sound like either of her parents, so Mikasa thought that maybe there was a guest. Although she could not really explain why there would be a guest so late into the night.

Mikasa quietly got down from the bed and walked toward the door, but her strides came to a halt when it suddenly pierced her ears.

A scream.

Her mother's scream.

Mikasa gasped and stepped back from the door. The sound that followed was a loud thud, the sound of something hitting the hardwood floor of their cabin.

Bang!

Bang!

Bang!

Before Mikasa could even register the scream and the mysterious thud, she heard another set of sounds alongside the voice of someone running in the hallway. In just a few seconds, the door was opened by her dear mother.

Throughout Mikasa's life, she always remembered that smile was her mother's best friend. However, that night, her best friend was nowhere to be seen. Instead, all Mikasa could see was the bloodshot eyes of her mother who stared so deeply into her own.

Mikasa wanted to speak, but her mother immediately covered her mouth with the palm of her hand and kicked the door close before locking it. Then, in one swift motion, she pushed Mikasa down and told her to crawl under the bed.

"Stay. Quiet." Her mother's whisper pricked like a spell, and the next thing she knew, she already buried her small body underneath the large and heavy bedframe while her mouth was mysteriously sealed close.

From the gap, Mikasa could see her mother's bare feet running toward the direction of the window. Mikasa then heard the sound of the window being opened and for a second, she thought her mother was going to leave her. However, her mother strangely remained vigil in front of the window.

As if she was waiting.

But waiting for what?

Then suddenly a loud noise shook the whole cabin. Mikasa's eyes twitched as she saw the bedroom door being blasted open until it was broken into little pieces. Yet, that noise held no significant when compared to the deep guttural scream that followed. Mikasa could hear her heart beating loudly inside her ears as she saw two pairs of dirty boots walk into the room.

"YOU ARE GOING TO PAY FOR THIS, WOMAN!" The first voice roared.

"TELL US WHERE IS THE GIRL?" Yelled the second voice.

"She ran away," her mother answered quickly in such a strange and relaxed manner—though Mikasa could detect the slight rasp in her voice. "You will never catch her; She knows her way around these woods. You are just going to waste your time."

"OH… YOU BITCH!" One of the men seemed to lunge himself forward to her mother, but her mother evaded it quickly and ran toward the hallway. Unfortunately, it seemed one of the men caught her mother because she could hear her mother's whimper alongside the sound of struggle and curses.

But then Mikasa heard a kick that somehow made her mother able to escape them.

"CATCH HER!" The other men screamed and just like that, the two boots disappeared from her view.

From beneath the bed, Mikasa could still hear the sound of her mother and the men in the kitchen arguing with each other alongside the sound of things breaking down and falling. It did not last very long though because, after that, there was a sudden silence that was followed closely by a loud thud.

"You… You stupid fuck," One of the men hissed, "Why are you killing her?"

Her mother's spell was proven to be remarkably powerful because Mikasa quickly learned that could not let out any voice from inside of her despite how much her mouth and throat were shaking. She tried to stop the shaking by closing her mouth so forcefully with her palms that it would certainly leave a mark on her face.

"She fucking attacked me, Boss! I do not want to be a dead man."

"Oh, pissed off! I'm going to turn you into one right now, you cunt! You just cut down our profit."

"Calm down, Boss," another voice chimed in and at that moment Mikasa realised there were three men inside the cabin, "We can still make it if we try to catch that running girl. She must have not gone too far with those little legs of hers. These woods be damned, she could not possibly outrun us."

At the same time, from the corner of her eyes, Mikasa spied a pair of boots walking back inside the bedroom. It belonged to the third man. He approached the cupboard and opened it. From the sound of it, he seemed to be rummaging through their clothes.

"Also, what about the house, Boss?" The third man yelled, "Nothing to steal?"

Mikasa held her breath as one of her mother's brooches suddenly fell to the floor and rolled next to her. Mikasa's eyes widened as her body's temperature suddenly rose while her heartbeat was jumping all over the place inside her.

"Please do not lean down," Mikasa muttered repeatedly inside her heart as she tried to bite back any whimper that threatened to come out.

"Leave it, everything here is invaluable except that girl," The boss growled, "Now you stop your wanking over there and get your arse here, we have a job to do. We need to split up."

"Righty, Boss."

Just like that, the pair of boots disappeared once again from the room. Then, after what seemed to be a very long minute for Mikasa, she eventually heard the front door being slammed hard. Mikasa finally let out the breath that she had been holding inside her.

She waited and waited in that eerie silence until she felt her limbs tingling from being stuck in the same position. After what she felt like enough waiting, she quietly crawled her way out. She stretched herself a little before quietly exiting the bedroom.

The first thing that she noticed was the horrible smell of steel that permeated her senses. The second thing that she noticed was that her parents were lying on the floor, only a few metres apart. Then the third thing that she noticed was that a pair of dark grey eyes and another pair of hazel eyes staring emptily but penetratingly at her.

Her body told her to scream, but before she could do it, she remembered her mother's firm voice telling her to be quiet. Mikasa pressed her lips together while her whole body shivered in pain as she tried to keep all the pressure inside her from exploding. She held it tightly inside even though it made the night feel a lot colder inside their little cabin.

Her breathing gradually became faster with each passing moment while she stood in the middle of her parents' bodies in silence. But then suddenly something wet touched her right ankle, and when she glanced down, she realised it was a hand.

But it was no ordinary hand.

"Mama!" Mikasa gasped as abruptly kneeled to the side of her mother and noticed the many wounds that tore her mother's body.

"… Run," her mother whispered, "Find… h-help."

"B-but."

"Run!" She raised her voice before hissing in pain. "… Don't look back."

She wanted to stay, she truly did, but there was a voice inside of her that told her to go as far as possible from there. Then, unexpectedly, she felt something pushed her from the inside, and it forced her to stand up and run as fast as she could throughout the woods.

The damp soil stuck to her toes while the dry twigs and sharp stones pierced her skin painfully, but she ignored it as she kept running to the only place that she could think about. A place where she liked to spend her time with Eren and Armin. A place that her father taught her to find if she was in danger. A place of safety that was located just outside the forest border.

She was the fastest runner out of Eren and Armin, but the security guard post felt so far away from what she remembered. Her lungs were screaming in pain as her breath became ragged and hot with each step that she took.

But finally, she saw it, no she saw him, a familiar man with blond hair that always smelled like alcohol. A man who always teased her, Eren, and Armin with his awful jokes. A man who always helped the three of them every time Eren got into trouble. A man who she knew would help him.

Mikasa wanted to scream, to call his name, but there was no sound coming from her. Instead, what she heard was footsteps coming from behind her. The same footsteps that she heard coming from the dirty boots that she saw from underneath the cramped bedframe. Mikasa picked up her pace, but her feet were already burning up, and it made her feel like she was running on top of a flaming coal.

Mikasa kept looking forward but what she saw was the ever-growing distance between her and the security post. No matter how much she tried to run, the distance never ceased.

She clenched her eyes shut, wishing that it was all just a bad dream, but all she could see was the reflection of the lifeless eyes of her parents piercing through her eyelids. Mikasa opened her eyes in horror, but that image was burned inside her head as if haunting her.

Mikasa kept running and running and running, but she was stuck. The air had become so thick that it was getting very painful for her to take even one breath. She closed her eyes again, ignoring the floating eyes, and begging to be woken up from this nightmare.

Begging for someone, anyone, to save her.

When she opened her eyes, she was in a different place, and the grotesque pairs of eyes that previously stared at her were now replaced by a pair of much warmer ones. The ones that shared the same colour as the autumn leaves that she used to play with when she was a child. The one where her life was better.

Mikasa leapt forward to seek and to hold to that safety—to Hange. Hange's embrace was tender like an early morning sun, and she smelled sweet like the damp soil after a rain. Before she knew it, the tears that her body had been holding on finally came out.

"Don't go!"

"Wh-what? But I'm not going anywhere?" Hange replied ever so gently.

"Don't leave me," Mikasa wailed, "Please! Stay here!"

"Yes… Yes, I will. But first, you need to calm down, alright?" Hange whispered as she kept rubbing her back and hair, "I'm here… I'm here, okay? Your cousin is here as well… You are not alone, Mikasa."

Alone.

Ever since that night, she was always alone. But it all changed when she met Hange. Mikasa had never thought that such an abstract emotion like comfort could take shape as a person, but apparently, it can.

Ultimately, the ghosts that had been haunting her gradually disappeared and for the first time since that night, Mikasa was able to live her life in tranquillity. It was that comfort from her that helped her to forget and gave her a second chance in life.

However, she later learned that she was wrong about it. When Levi told her about the death of his mother as well as news of Hange's mother who passed away, Mikasa felt something crumbling down inside her heart as a horrible realisation sunk into her.

She had forgotten about her parents.

How did they look like or sound like, she could not remember it anymore.

It was true that she wanted to forget about that night but that did not mean she wanted to forget about them too.

Mikasa was terrified by this revelation and frustrated by the possibility of her parents being erased from her life. How could she not though? She was the only remnant of their existence. If she forgot them, then her parents would perish forever, and she did not want that.

She tried to remember, long and hard, every night. What did they sound like? What was the texture of their hair? How tall were they? What were the colours of their eyes?

Unfortunately, that was when she began to remember that horrible image of the lifeless grey and hazel eyes. When did their eyes start to become so hauntingly creepy? Did not their eyes use to look at her with so much love?

She also distinctly remembered that her father liked to make scented oil from all the fragrant flowers that he found in the forest, and her parents would use that every day. But she could only remember the tangy and metallic smell that she could never run away from.

Even when she tried to remember their voices, all she heard was the sound of painful screams and the scratchy sound of boots against the hardwood floor.

She tried to remember them but what she got was a never-ending terror. Now, each time she tried to close her eyes; the distorted image would continuously become more detailed. It had become so vivid now that it felt like she was reliving the same night over and over.

The line between the real and the unreal had become a blur to her. It was real and it felt real. Her senses told it themselves as they screamed in agony from all the unbearable stuff that they had to feel again every night. Mikasa always tried to conceal and ignore their protest, but it seemed that her body could no longer keep it.

It came abruptly and without a sign; Mikasa felt that her bedroom was spinning, and at the same time, she felt like her stomach was being struck from the inside. Her throat quickly followed suit; it throbbed abnormally as if it was preparing itself for the impending doom.

The doom happened so quickly. When she finally realised what was about to happen, it was already too late. Her stomach suddenly twisted in pain and before she knew it, her body involuntarily pushed all the contents that were inside her stomach upward until it all came out from her mouth.

"Mikasa!"

She heard Levi's concerned yell, but she could not reply as what followed was a horrible fit of coughs. While she was coughing, she managed to take a quick glimpse at Hange. Unlike Levi, Hange did not even flinch. On the contrary, Hange kept trying to soothe her by whispering sweet words and patting her on the back.

Meanwhile, from the corner of her eyes, she could see Levi swiftly pulling down the rope next to her bed, the rope that connected to the bell placed in the servants' hall. Afterwards, he opened the door and ran away, his footsteps echoed throughout the whole wing.

When she stopped coughing, she momentarily assessed the consequences of her action. The wetness in her clothes was the first thing she noticed, followed by the tangy and foul smell of sickness. Mikasa eventually realised that she had just thrown up on the bed, on her sleepwear, as well as on Hange's nightgown and robe.

"Oh… Oh no…" Mikasa shuddered hoarsely, "I'm so sorry, Hange… I'm so sorry."

"Hush, now. It is okay. It's not your fault."

"No, it's not okay!" Mikasa howled. She actually felt horrible, embarrassed, and on top of all, guilty. She cried once again as she kept repeating her plea to Hange all over again. Yet, Hange's answer remained the same: It's not your fault.

Nonetheless, their exchange did not reach its conclusion since it was soon interrupted by the sound of people running in the hallway. Mikasa saw that Levi returned to the room alongside Nifa and the other three maids. Levi seemed to shout his instruction to all of them, but it all sounded like a high-pitch buzz in her ears.

The next thing she knew, Nifa had touched her hand while saying, "Miss Mikasa, let me help you."

Nifa's touch was gentle as feathers, but it did not feel like one to her body, instead, it sent harrowing shivers down her spine that Mikasa inevitably found herself avoiding it. She held herself closer to Hange and shrieked, "NO!"

Her loud voice certainly startled everyone, including Levi who immediately went to approach her. Mikasa prepared herself to be scolded by him, but it never came. On the contrary, the always so neat and clean Levi willingly sat on the bed next to her, ignoring the pool of sickness that might contaminated him.

"Mikasa," he touched her shoulder softly, "Look at me."

Mikasa slowly turned her head to look at him—at the steel light grey eyes that shone like the moon.

"It's just a bad dream. I get them too," he whispered.

Mikasa blinked her tears away and asked, "You too?"

"Yeah. I think everyone gets them."

"Everyone?" Mikasa loosened her grip on Hange's dressing gown, "So it's not just me being strange?"

"Yes, it's not."

"Oh…" Mikasa muttered as Levi's words echoed inside her mind.

"Yeah. So, come on, let's get you clean up," Levi said as he helped Mikasa to stand up.

Mikasa let her cousin pull her up from the bed and toward the soft carpet of her bedroom. However, it was not long until she looked back again to reach out her hand for Hange.

"She's not going anywhere, okay?" Levi interjected, "She just needs to clean herself like you."

"Yes," Hange smiled at Mikasa as she too stood up from the bed, "I'll be back before you knew I was gone, alright?"

"… Okay," Mikasa replied. Then she let Nifa guide her to the bathroom. Meanwhile, she saw Hange following Marlene—who was holding what seemed to be clean clothes—as they walked outside of the room.

On the other hand, the other maids quickly made their way to clean the bed. That was when she realised all the servants that were present were not wearing their proper uniform, and Mikasa could not help but feel bad for she had roused them all from their slumber. She tried to make an apology to Nifa but Nifa said that she did not need to.

"It is our duty, Miss, to look after you," Nifa said with a smile as she helped Mikasa get out of the dirty nightgown.

After the quick warm bath, Nifa put her on a clean nightgown and tidied up her two braids. When she exited the bathroom, the maids had already finished cleaning and arranging her bed back to its pristine condition. Likewise, she could no longer detect any foul stench for it had been replaced by a sweet aromatic smell.

Hange kept her promise as Mikasa could easily see her standing near her bed with a matchstick in one of her hands and a candle in the other. She appeared to be the one who lit up all the scented candles in the room. Mikasa also noticed that unlike before, she was now wearing a clean nightgown and a silk antique-looking light pink dressing gown.

Mikasa made a few quick steps toward her and hugged her on the side, burying her face just under her left shoulder.

"Hey, be careful," Hange whispered playfully, "I almost burned this manor to the ground."

Mikasa did not answer and chose to dwell on the living proof that Hange was still here with her. But she was not able to do it for so long because she immediately heard a frantic voice coming from outside of her room. She recognised the voice as it turned out to be Mr Moblit.

"Sir, Doctor Chastain is here!"

"Oh good, finally," Levi said as he approached the man who trailed behind Mr Moblit. "I was scared you were not home yet," Levi added.

"Fortunately, Mr Berner came right in time as I was about to unlock my front door," Doctor Chastain remarked good-naturedly, "So where's the little lady?"

"She's here," Hange chimed in and ever so gently Mikasa felt a slight push from Hange as she whispered, "Look, the doctor is here."

Mikasa grabbed the soft fabric of Hange's dressing gown and hid behind her before shaking her head. She felt her heart beginning to throb hard against her chest as the middle-aged man began to approach her.

Levi looked demented as he walked toward her direction, "Come now, you know Doctor Chastain, he's not a stranger. He will not hurt you."

Mikasa of course knew that Doctor Chastain was nothing but gentle and kind toward her. However, she suddenly felt so jittery in a way that she could not explain. Her hands could not stop shaking ever since Doctor Chastain arrived.

Hange seemed to notice this as she swiftly turned away to face her. She kneeled in front of Mikasa, and her warm chocolate eyes were now almost on the same level as Mikasa's, and they beautifully reflected all the candle lights in the room. Hange then rested her hands gently on Mikasa's shoulders.

"Mikasa, sweetheart, take a deep breath," Hange made a gesture with her head that indicated she was also taking a deep breath. Mikasa followed and she let the calming air in her room fill his lungs.

"Good, now let it out… Slowly," Hange continued and Mikasa did as she was told. As she let the air out of her body, she felt her shoulders drooped slowly.

Hange repeated her instructions a few more times, and with each cycle of breathing that she followed, Mikasa could feel her body gradually become lighter and her head become clearer.

"How do you feel, now?"

Mikasa swallowed the invisible lump in her mouth before muttering, "… bit better."

"Well," Hange smiled gently at her, "We are all here to make you feel ever better, Mikasa."

Mikasa glanced slowly at her surroundings and saw many faces—from Levi to Nifa to Moblit and Doctor Chastain—staring at her in genuine concern.

"You are safe with us, okay?"

Mikasa slowly nodded her head, "O-okay."

Hange then moved a hand up and cupped Mikasa's face gently, "You are a good girl, aren't you, Mikasa? Will you let Doctor Chastain check you?"

Mikasa felt her lips tremble, but the reassurance of Hange's words was enough for her to finally agree.

"I will…" Mikasa whispered, "But only if you stay."

"Of course, I will. Don't worry," Hange remarked merrily before she stood up again. She then led Mikasa back to the bed and gestured for Doctor Chastain to come closer.

Doctor Chastain did his usual check-up with Mikasa, but Mikasa barely noticed all the things that Doctor Chastain did to her because she was too fixated on making sure that she could still see Hange.

Hange herself stood near the footboard with a smile that never left her face. Meanwhile, Levi sat on the mattress, right on one corner of the bed near Mikasa's feet, and she could see his brows were furrowed so close together as he examined both her and Doctor Chastain. She had never seen him with that expression before.

When Levi asked about her condition, Doctor Chastain did not say the answer outright. Instead, he asked to have a private talk with Levi outside. Levi begrudgingly agreed and followed the doctor.

At the same time, Hange quickly made her way to Mikasa and sat on the chair that was previously used by Doctor Chastain. She took Mikasa's hand and asked, "How are you?"

"… Tired."

"Yeah, I figured," Hange chuckled, "But well, you did great. Thank you for letting Doctor Chastain check on you."

Mikasa wanted to say that she did not do anything at all, but a sudden voice from outside startled them.

"What?! That is insane!" Levi's voice echoed through the hall and into her bedroom through the half-opened door. "There is no way I'm going to put her into that mental asylum!"

Mikasa immediately tightened her hold on Hange's hand and felt her voice waving when she whispered, "Hange… I don't want to go to an asylum."

"Well, you heard your cousin," Hange tucked a hair out of Mikasa's face, "You will not go there, okay?"

Mikasa sniffled as she tried to keep her tears at bay, she did not want to cry anymore, especially not in front of Hange. Not only that her eyes sting so badly from the previous tears, but she also had troubled Hange enough for a night.

"I'm sorry, Hange," Mikasa spoke again, "I ruined your clothes."

"What? Are you still thinking about that?" Hange remarked good-naturedly, "It's just clothes. My nightgown was already on its last string anyway."

"But… Your dressing gown… You said it was your mother's, right?"

"It was, but as I said before, it's just clothes. Fabrics! We can wash them." Hange smiled widely at her and no matter how hard Mikasa tried to search, she could not find anything hidden behind that smile.

After a while, Doctor Chastain and Levi returned to the room. Doctor Chastain explained to Mikasa that he was going to give her something that would help her sleep. Mikasa had no energy left to refuse so she let Doctor Chastain administer her a dose of some strange-looking liquid.

Even until the last second, Mikasa refused to let go of Hange's hand. Therefore, as she gradually lost consciousness, she could still feel the warmness that came from the delicate but strong hands of her governess who held her hand with so much affection.

Hange opened her eyes and saw an unfamiliar canopy of a bed. As far as she remembered, her bed did not have any canopy. Hange then glanced to the side, trying to make sense of the room amidst the blurry and dark room.

A reflection of light could be seen behind the closed curtains and so Hange deduced that it was already morning.

Suddenly, she felt a movement next to her body. That was when she realised the small body of Mikasa who was sleeping soundly under the duvet next to her. However, unlike the previous morning, Mikasa looked much more well-rested. It was certainly thanks to the sedative from Doctor Chastain.

Hange's mind instantaneously went back to the event that transpired last night.

After Doctor Chastain administered a sedative to Mikasa, it didn't take her long for it to take effect. After all, she had been so exhausted from days of restless sleep.

"The sedative will keep her asleep until morning," Doctor Chastain explained as he arranged his tools back into his bag, "But just to be safe, I suggest that someone still watch her over for the night."

"Okay," Mr Ackerman replied, "Thank you, doctor."

"I'm just doing my job," Doctor Chastain nodded politely, "Call me back if something happens to the little lady."

After he bid his farewell to all of them, just as usual, Moblit walked Doctor Chastain out.

"I can watch Miss Mikasa for the night, sir," Nifa said as soon as Doctor Chastain left.

"No, I will watch her," Mr Ackerman replied firmly, "You have overworked yourself tonight, Nifa. You deserved rest."

"But sir—"

"Do you think you can take good care of Mikasa when you are sleep-deprived?"

Nifa closed her mouth before nodding politely, "Understood, sir."

"Go and rest, you need it," Mr Ackerman lowered his voice, "Thank you for your help tonight, Nifa."

"You are welcome, sir," Nifa replied before excusing herself, leaving only Hange, Mr Ackerman, and Mikasa in the room.

From the corner of her eyes, she saw Mr Ackerman walk closer toward her, closing the gap between them.

"Thank you," he said, "I didn't know what would happen to Mikasa if you were not here."

"I'm just trying to help, sir," Hange replied politely while avoiding his gaze.

Mr Ackerman did not say anything afterwards. Rather, he seemed to examine her thoroughly—that it made Hange feel somehow exposed—before finally asking, "Are you okay?"

Hange glanced at him confusedly, "Of course, I am, sir... Why wouldn't I?"

He stood rigidly with both of his hands in his pockets while staring ponderingly at the floor before eventually saying, "I'm sorry."

"… For what?" Hange could not be even more confused by him.

"For I was not being honest with you about Mikasa's condition."

Hange widened her eyes at him and muttered, "Oh…," before shifting her gaze back at Mikasa who had fallen into deep sleep and to the tiny hand of Mikasa that was intertwined with her own. Hange then opened her mouth again to inquire, "Why did you keep it from me, sir?"

"Her previous governesses," Mr Ackerman answered, "They had never stayed for long in this manor because they were all terrified by Mikasa… So, I didn't tell you about it because I don't want you to fear her and subsequently leave her... I just don't think she can handle seeing another one of her governesses quit."

"Scared of her? There's no way! She is clearly unwell and not in her right mind…"

Mr Ackerman shrugged, "Well, you seemed to be the first governess to ever notice that."

"If I may ask… How did she end up like this in the first place?" Hange cautiously asked, "Did something happen to her?"

Mr Ackerman pressed his lips together and his jaw looked visibly tense, "Yes."

"What happened?"

Mr Ackerman recounted the tragic incident that led Mikasa to be eventually put under his care. It happened two years ago, and it was indeed so terrible that Hange almost felt like she was going to throw up too. Hange could not bear to think how horrible it must be for a nine-year-old girl to experience such a nightmare.

The ache and sadness of losing both parents were something that Hange was not foreign to. She had experienced those horrible heartbreaks twice within the same decade, and she would not even wish that pain to her worst enemies.

However, she could not even comprehend how broken Mikasa must have felt when she witnessed both of her parents being taken from her in such a horrible way, right on the same night.

"It was fortunate that she was able to run away to the safety unscathed—" Mr Ackerman explained, "—because I learned a year later when the men were finally caught, that they were, in fact, working for an underground human trafficking syndicate," he was visibly seething with each of the words that spurted from his mouth, "Good thing they got sentenced to death."

"I would not call it unscathed…" Hange murmured.

"Yeah… You are right."

"Though I do agree with you, sir. I'm glad she is now safe and sound."

"Well, once again, it's all thanks to you, Miss Zoë."

Hange widened her eyes and stared at Mr Ackerman in disbelief. It was her first time hearing him properly calling her name. She was not sure how to react to the way her name rolled so fondly from his mouth alongside the kind words of his gratitude.

"I do not doubt that this condition was truly out of our initial agreement when I first hired you," Mr Ackerman continued, "She can be a handful and so I'm obliged to raise your payment if you still wish to continue to become her governess. However, I will not blame you either if you decide to quit. The choice is on you, Miss Zoë."

Hange was taken aback by his suggestions. However, she was not offended by it, not even one bit. Instead, it opened her eyes and gave her a sense of clarity about herself and her place in the manor.

"…After all of the things I learned about this girl, how could I leave her?" Hange stated, "Besides, I'm not as avaricious as you think, sir."

"No, that is not what I mean," he quickly interjected as he frantically shook his head.

"I know, I know," Hange let out a light chuckle to ease him down, "But I appreciate it, thank you, sir."

"No… no," He cleared his throat, "I should be the one who thanked you."

"Well, I suppose we can now all be thankful for each other," Hange remarked genially, "Speaking of, I think I should be the one who stays with Mikasa for the night, sir."

"What? You? But—"

"I have promised Mikasa that I would stay… So, I will stay with her."

"…Are you sure?"

Hange nodded and looked at him, hoping that he could understand from her expression about how serious she was. Fortunately, he seemed to understand and accept his defeat.

"Alright then, I trust her in your care," He eventually said, "If you need anything, just scream toward the direction of my study downstairs."

Hange raised her eyebrows, "Scream?"

"Well, you don't actually need to. Just call my name loud enough and I'll be here in less than a minute."

Hange wondered why Mr Ackerman preferred to be in his study. He never seemed to ever leave it unless necessary. Did he not keep a bedroom of his own?

Hange suddenly remembered the words that Mr Ackerman said to Mikasa earlier, about how he got nightmares as well. Was he being honest? If he was, then it would explain the eternal presence of his dark circles and why he always looked exhausted.

"You don't need to worry, sir," Hange replied firmly, "You can let yourself relax and sleep for tonight. I mean, earlier you told Nifa that she needs to sleep, right? You were able to notice that she was tired, and yet, in my humble opinion, you failed to notice your own hypocrisy. So, why don't you go and look at yourself in the mirror, sir, and hopefully understand that you actually need it more than any of us here."

Hange once again fell victim to her speak-before-think syndrome. What kind of spirit possessed her to boldly speak in such a way to her employer, she did not know. Moreover, why did it even bother her that he possibly had trouble with his sleep? They were nothing. Well, not quite since they were theoretically not nothing since something did happen between them.

Something that neither of them allow to be acknowledged.

As expected, Mr Ackerman appeared to be astonished by her words, and she expected him to be offended or even angry at her. However, much to Hange's disbelief, his expression was instead replaced by a subtle smile as he responded to her remark with a soft, "Thanks, I'll keep that in mind."

Knock-knock-knock.

Her contemplation regarding the event of the last night was quickly ended by the consecutive knock coming from the door. Hange glanced at the door and sat up on the bed.

The door opened to show Nifa who arrived with a tray filled with a fine ceramic teapot as well as two matching cups.

"Good morning, Miss Hange!" Nifa greeted softly.

"Morning, Nifa!"

Nifa put the tray on the bedside table next to Hange and poured a cup of tea for her.

"Oh, you really don't have to," Hange said as she took the warm cup and saucer in her hands, "But thank you anyway."

"You deserved it, Miss. You were such a big help last night."

"Oh Nifa, do not discredit yourself. We all did our part, okay?"

"I suppose you are right," Nifa smiled, "Anyway, you can go back to your room now, Miss. I can watch over her in the meantime."

"Thank you, Nifa," Hange replied before drinking a few sips from the tea. After finishing half of the cup, Hange eventually stood up and grabbed the dressing gown that she hung on the footboard.

That was when Hange was reminded of the question that she had been asking since last night. She gently held the silk dressing gown and showed it to Nifa.

"Hey Nifa, do you know whose dressing gown is this?"

"Eh? I do not know Miss… I thought it was yours."

"Oh, no, it is not mine…" Hange murmured in doubt as there was no way she would own something that felt and looked so expensive just for a dressing gown or even sleepwear, "This nightgown is not mine either…"

"Hmm… If I am not wrong, it was Marlene who was tasked by Mr Levi to help you. So, perhaps you can ask her Miss."

"Yeah, you are right…"

Shortly, Hange walked back to her room while still thinking about many possibilities that might have caused the new maid to give her the wrong clothes. Though to be fair, last night was such chaos for everyone, so she understood if Marlene—who was still new—mistook some of the things and belongings in the manor.

Then, after she had changed back to her black mourning dress, Hange took both the nightgown and dressing gown to the servants' hall. When she arrived there, she noticed that some of the servants were having their breakfast. She glanced around the room and eventually spotted Marlene on the table. She quickly approached her.

"Hey! Good morning, Marlene."

Marlene looked up from her bowl and smiled, "Ah! Good morning, Miss Hange. Do you need something?"

"No, not really. It's just," Hange sat on the chair next to her and showed her the folded clothes in her hands, "I do not own these outfits. So, I was just wondering whether you grabbed someone else's by mistake."

"Oh," Marlene furrowed her brows, "Actually, it was not me who took it, Miss. It was Mr Levi."

"What…? What do you mean?"

"Mr Levi was the one who gave me that clothes. He told me that I should give it to you, Miss Hange… So, it was not yours?"

"Yeah, no…"

"But he said it was yours."

Hange raised her eyebrows, "He said that?"

Marlene nodded, "Yes, he clearly said so! That was why I did not think twice before giving it to you, Miss."

"What is the matter, lass?" A sudden thick voice came from behind them. Hange quickly recognised that the voice belonged to Mrs Koch.

"Oh, Mrs Koch! Right on time," Marlene spared no time as she asked the old lady, "Do you know who owns these garments?"

Mrs Koch came closer to inspect the clothes on Hange's hand before letting out a gasp, "Lord, I haven't seen this stunning dressing gown since forever."

"So, you know the owner, Mrs Koch?" Hange inquired curiously.

"Of course, lass. This was once belonged to the late Miss Ackerman."

"… Miss Ackerman?" Marlene and Hange repeated at the same time.

"Yes. This once belonged to the late mother—bless her soul—of our current master. She used to wear this aplenty when she was still a young woman, it was her favourite," Mrs Koch replied eagerly with a hint of melancholy, "What seemed to be the matter, eh?"

Marlene quickly explained the whole story to Mrs Koch, and Mrs Koch herself was stunned by the end of it. She gave Hange such a thoughtful glance before she gently touched Hange's shoulder and said, "Well, just take good care of it, lass. He's not good with words, yes? He could have lent you this but instead, he willingly gave it to you. So, I suppose the master must have been fond of you to even give you these."

Fond?

Hange could feel the heat rising to her face while her heart started to pulsate rapidly inside her chest when she heard Mrs Koch's explanation. She tried to open her mouth to mutter a reply or even deny that claim, but her tongue felt like she had just drunk a very cold water from the Arctic.

Mrs Koch seemed to notice her peculiar reaction because she immediately laughed and said, "Or maybe the master just felt guilty since his little cousin had thrown up all over your clothes, lass. Besides, no one wore those garments anyway. That must be why the master let you use it, lass. So, do not think too hard about it, okay?"

Of course, Hange did not want to think about it at all. Still, even if he did it out of guilt for last night, that did not change the fact that he trusted her with such an important heirloom of his family to her.

What in the hell was he thinking about? What did he want to accomplish with it? Was her answer that night not clear enough for him?

Was it not enough for him to torment her feelings already with his words? Now he appeared like he wanted to do the same with his action.

However, before she could deep even further into her mind, she heard someone coming to the servants' hall and calling her name.

"Miss Hange! There you are!" Nifa spoke in between her irregular breathing, "I'm so sorry, but Miss Mikasa is searching for you. She doesn't want to do anything without you there. So, can you come with me, Miss? Just for a minute or so."

Hange quickly stood up from the chair and followed Nifa. Somehow, in doing so, she was able to easily put all her doubts, inquiries, and worries back into the corner of her mind.

-Chapter 19 End-

Chapter End Notes:

Thank you all for reading! See you in the next chapter!
If you want to know about the progress regarding this story, you can check my writing side blog (tumblr: bluemallow-log)
You can also visit me on my tumblr main blog (spilledsinnamontea) and on my twitter (spilledsinnamon)

My thoughts:
When I first wrote this fic's draft, I was unsure whether I could portray Hange & Mikasa's relationship accurately. There were not a lot of materials in the canon that showed their interactions, so I was terrified that I would make them too OOC. But in the end, I used that panel of Hange hugging Mikasa from behind during the serum bowl conflict as the basis of their dynamic in this whole fanfiction. To my surprise, their relationship became something that I enjoyed writing. Like man, I love them so much you have no idea! Even I gained a new appreciation and insight regarding Mikasa as a character. It is so fun to imagine how she would grow up differently when she was being allowed to just be a child. Also, I really enjoyed highlighting the side of Hange (her compassion) and Levi (his caring nature) that were mostly overlooked by the general fandom in this fic!

I know my writing is still far from perfect, but I really hope I was able to write them and their story in a way that is somehow still relevant to their personalitiesin the canon!