《"Humans evolve as a group"》
To Doyle, He was always the enemy, seldom named, and even more rarely interacted with by the young mafioso, Valais was the enemy. Never a person, just an obstacle to surpass.
Not that he mattered in the end, after all, Doyle was destined for greatness, born with it, destined for it, he never left greatness a day in his life, and he never will, he awaited this day, he told himself, the day the young mafioso of the Nostrades, gifted an opportunity by someone greater, and the cherry on top;
It was that bastard's mother.
"My life has a way of figuring itself out, don't ya think Miss, Toile"
A muffled scream came from a large bag to his left.
"Ah, who am I kidding? This IS fate. Just look at this; the old man has me shopping with a list full of 'talents' talents to steal, and who do I find on top?"
He kicked the bag, eliciting more muffled screams from the inside.
Doyle laughed, "You; Valais's footstool of a mother. That's it, I hit the jackpot."
*Crack*
"..."
Doyle lifted his head, looking through the now broken door, opened the wrong way, and into his soon-to-be-removed obstacle.
He was tall, with such a muscled chest and broad shoulders that he blocked the sun from entering the dinghy storage room.
Doyle laughed, "Well it seems you're on time Jojo, " He checked to himself "Guess all it took to fix that terrible school record of yours was just a little…" He kicked the bag "Motivation."
"What do you need?" Valais said.
"Who said I needed anything?" He snarled.
"You're easy to read, You wouldn't call me here if you didn't need anything. You would've just had me figure it out myself, and then find you," he answered calmly.
Doyle clutched his teeth. "Don't forget who has the hostage here, Valais."
"Well then, just spill it, Doyle. Don't waste our time, I know you're on a time limit here, or else you wouldn't have got me here so early. "
"Shut it!"
"..."
"Good, now I need some of that sweet luck of yours, you hear me?"
He nods.
"Say, Valais, what do you know of hunters?"
"Less than I should," 'Just keep him happy,' he thinks, 'I can get out of this one, I know it '
"Perfect, got you in your place, you see Hunters are relevant people, worthy people like you and me"
He feels something in his eyes, not tears, so he's good, at least for now.
"But you see, there's a problem."
He doesn't respond, doesn't snark, or even say a word. Instead, he just sits there and lets the man finish himself, and Doyle loves this.
"How do you find these relevant people?"
"Tch." He clenched his teeth. 'Just tell him what he wants, Valais, tell him what he wants.'
"You TEST them, Valais, you test them, and you know what that means."
"You want me to take this hunter test, don't you?"
"Bingo!" He claps his hands, "Hunter licensed. If you get it to me by the 25th, we might just have a working relationship, I'll take care of the details, "
"Where?"
"I said I'll take care of the details. You just take a long hot shower and sleep early today,"
He walks to leave, foot after the other, and opens the door.
"Meet me at the airport tomorrow, 8 o'clock."
"Very well"
*door closes*
He collapsed to his feet, eyes teary and hands on his face. He never hoped for it to get like this, and for once, he couldn't understand why he was so scared.
—
|{|January 7th (18 days remain)|}|
They both made it to Zaban City by the 7th, Doyle walked Valais to Tsubashi Street, Sat him in the greasy spoon which despite himself, Valais knew felt ominous, and set a bag on their table.
" 0.1%"
Valais had to take a breath, his eyes watery from stress and lack of sleep, he needed to calm himself.
In the end, he couldn't even respond.
"0.1% Valais, That is what we are. Only 1 in a thousand hopeless wannabees make it this far,"
"?"
" You're lucky you have me, Valais, but then again, you always are lucky,"
''Are' What kind of prep speech is this?'
"You're my lucky charm, Valais, my rabbit's foot."
"You're going with me?"
"No, just saying, you ARE lucky,"
He stood up, moving the chair he sat on behind him.
"Check the duffle bag," He moved to the door, smiling. "Meet you on the 25th, don't forget my license."
He left, Valais staring at the duffle bag he gave like it was trapped.
'That's one way to calm me down, spare some of that confidence, will ya?'
The duffle was just there, and he was just waiting, so…
"!"
A gun lay in the bag, covered in cloth and engraved masterfully like a piece of jewellery.
It sat atop a bunch of canned food, cloth, and what seemed like a first aid kit, but with its size, that thing might as well be a portable hospital.
"I'm gonna die,"
The elevator, moving as if on cue, didn't help his growing nerves, and neither did the tunnel he found himself in.
Hundreds of people, all masters in their field, sat in the dark room, none shared his fear, or even any apprehension for their test, either unaware or unthreatened by what this test would give them, their mere presence took all the confidence from our highschooler and crushed it like an egg on a busy street.
"You're new here, aren't ya?"
"U-uh yes"
'Perfect Valais, just perfect, strap a hit me sign on your back and scream now why don't ya'
"Are you okay"
"Yeah, sorry sorry, just Ah.. keep going" He waved his hand while laughing.
"Well…I've been looking for rookies like you"
'Well, that's suspicious, '
"I've been a rookie myself 35 years ago"
'And he's experienced, I was born while he was taking his 20th attempt,'
"You see my name is Tonpa, and I like helping rookies like you"
'He has no reason to care, does he?'
"So I thought of giving some help to calm those nerves of yours;"
'He wants something doesn't he?'
"Soda!"
'He's poisoning me.'
Valais had a blank face, something Tonpa found discomforting.
"You're not taking any?"
"Uh… you so much, I'll Uh…um…"
He walked away.
He is better off just taking a nap.
—
*BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR*
That wake-up call wasn't exactly, hell
, nothing in this exam was friendly, at least to Valais's eyes, it was just a competition of eccentric men, looking for a license to kill.
" Well that is just rude, isn't it? "
Speaking of eccentric men, a clown must've sat beside him in his sleep, kindly keeping him safe from all the paedophiles in this tunnel.
" What's with the suspicious look friend, something on my face? "
'At Least he's not poisoning me,'
"Thanks, I was-"
"As of now, registration is closed"
They both stood up.
"The hunter exam will now begin," A man in formal clothes and purple hair with a fancy moustache said, most likely the examiner of this test.
"Everyone ready? Good"
He jumped into the tunnel, pointing forward.
"This way please"
His trot was slow, too slow.
"Just so there is no mistake, the hunter exam is very rigorous, if you lack the necessary ability- too bad. If you are unlucky- again, too bad."
Valais smiled at the examiner's last words.
" Feeling lucky, aren't you friend "
His back straightened, it was the clown again.
" That was one smirk you had back there "
"It's just… A certain amount of luck I have"
" then I guess I must be lucky to have you as a friend, don't I? "
Friend? Does he even have a choice?
" Look we even have matching numbers "
Badges!
And just as Hisoka said that Valais finally noticed the badge on his shoulder, 45, just one above Hisoka's, even though he never took the badge.
"Thanks"
" Don't worry about it, friend "
They began to run.
'I knew he was too slow'
"My name is Statoz, your examiner for the first Phase of the exam, as well as your guide to the second phase."
And with that, the first Phase of the hunter exam began, a marathon through tunnels, stairs, and who knows what's next.
"People are avoiding us, or more like they're avoiding you"
" hmm? "
"You're not my friend, are you?"
" Well that depends on what you think of as "friends" "
"My name is Valais, and you probably want to kill me"
" Well then, my name is Hisoka, and I am going to kill you "
"You mind waiting until the 26th, my schedule is full for the next 18 days"
" Oh you'll find time, I promise "
He then left, Thank god.
*Shiver*
"I'm screwed, aren't I,"
The exit was near, and he honestly didn't want to think about anything anymore, and just get this exam over with.
—–—–—
"The Mitzy wasteland, also known as "the swindler's Swamp", compromises the next leg of the first phase," The examiner said, as they left the tunnel.
'Great, more walking,' He thought to himself.
"Note that there are many voracious creatures unique to these wetlands, they'll trick you in a blink, and eat you with relish. Follow me and stay focused. If you are deceived, you are DEAD."
'At Least that means the gun Doyle gave me wasn't meant for humans
"That's a lie, HE IS LYING"
A wounded man came through the entrance, his face bloody and his movements limp.
"He's an imposter, He's not the real examiner. I'm the real examiner, I'll show you"
He pulls out a humanoid-looking creature from the tunnel.
"He's one of the wetland creatures, the man-faced ape. They lust after human flesh but are too weak of limbs to get it on their own, so they disguise themselves and trick humans with the help of other creatures. And this time they are after the entire hunter applicant pool"
"Is he the examiner?" Valais thought out loud, but after less than a second thought he concluded "Unlikely"
" Let's test that " and by speed, Valais couldn't even perceive, that three playing cards were already in that creature's face, and four in the old examiner's hand.
" Well now we know, That the old examiner was the real thing "
"Well now that we are on the same page, I would appreciate it if you were to avoid attacking the examiners," Statoz said, more annoyed than mad.
"How did you know?"
"WHAT THE HELL?" 'How did he sneak up behind me?" "Who are you?"
"I'm Hanzo, did my ninja skills scare you?"
"Ninja skills?"
"Either way, I'm curious how you figured him out so quickly"
"Who?"
"The ape-thingy that was masquerading before"
"Oh! Well I heard that hunters were strong, yet the guy looked pretty beat up, so when I heard that these things were weak of limb, something didn't add up"
"Add up?"
"If those things were weak, the fake examiner wouldn't be able to do this marathon so easily, and those things wouldn't be able to wound the real examiner so much.
But if they were strong, strong enough to beat up the examiner, they wouldn't have to be so sneaky with their trick"
"Well that makes sense, I thought you were smart"
'Tch'
And he continued walking, at least now he could follow the examiner more closely, if he could run through the mud first, and the creatures here.
Screams of terror filled the background, this Swamp was so full of creatures, that Valai's speed nearly halved just so he could keep watch of these monsters, lest he end up being just another scream in the background.
'Tch, screw me, I lost the examiner didn't I '
" Hello friend "
'Crap'
It's Hisoka, carrying a body and running towards him jubilant as a child on Christmas Eve.
" You mind holding this for me, it was drooling on my shirt and that wouldn't do "
"Hisoka, You look like you're in a good mood, trying to finish me off" His hands were on the duffle bag, holding the gun in a very unsafe manner.
" Oh dear me, I'm feeling generous today, just take this to the green lad "
"Who?"
" Meet you on the 26th friend "
And just like he came, he was leaving.
"Hey wait!"
—–—–—
*huff* *huff*
'And I thought my stamina was good
*twitch*
The man moved, and Valais immediately placed him near a tree.
'Can I waste some first aid on this guy?'
He looked at the duffle bag and the word waste immediately left his vocabulary.
The first aid kit was huge and already covered most of the duffle bag, and it was no small duffle bag, not by a long shot.
'Now how does spirit aid work'
He took the bandages and compared them to his face.
"That's not how first aid works,"
"Oh! You're awake"
"Yeah, I'm guessing you're not a media professional"
"You could ask for my name?"
"Ah! Sorry about that, I'm Leorio thanks for the help"
"Yeah sure jus-"
"LEORIO!"
"Hi"
A short blond and someone who he could only assume was "green lad" came running to their location, the kid quickly sitting next to his friend, while the blonde stared at him.
"..."
"You were with Hisoka for most of the exam, weren't you?" the blonde said.
"I was asleep when he got in"
Well at least that calmed him down, guess he wasn't the only one on Hisoka's murder list.
"...thanks for your help, I'm Kurapika"
"Valais, help yourselves to the first aid kit, we're here until noon"
—–—–—
《Noon》
The door of the shed opened, and inside it, a petite woman, and a GIRTHY man sat in comfort.
"So… you hungry?"
"Hungry? I'm famished"
' It's about food, isn't it? '
"Okay applicants, listen up!" The girl with pink hair said " The second phase is COOKING!
We are gourmet hunters, so you'll be whipping up viands to satisfy our discriminating palates."
"Viands, that means all meat that isn't fish," Valais said.
"Don't be too sure, First you'll be making a dish for me," The large man said.
"And if Buhari passes your effort, you'll be permitted to make one for me" the girl added "You'll pass the second phase when you satisfy both of us, and once we've eaten our fill, the tasting period will be over,"
"Geez… I've never cooked in my life!" Said Leorio.
"And I doubt my cooking will satisfy that girl either" Valais added " She seems picky"
"My dish of choice is…"
"Whole Roast Pig, mmm… can't wait!
Any pig in this reserve will do."
And so the remaining 149 participants took to the forest looking for pigs.
Too bad for Valais, he found one, and they were both alone.
*Crack*
"Crap, that thing is big, the hell am I supposed to do?"
The thing was giant, and it could crush him without a second thought, and yet…
'It's forehead is too big, maybe..?'
He cooked his gun, one he never used before, and…
*shot*
"GOD! THE RECOIL!"
The beast lay limp on the ground.
"Well, that's my luck for ya, now how to cook, this thing"
—–—–—
"Wooh I'm first," Valais said, holding a roasted pig atop his head, his expression proud and bright, for the first time in this exam.
"Mr Buhara, I present to you my Roast pig"
"Well someone early, you barely left"
The girl said, not impressed in the slightest.
*sound of stampeding*
Guess that was it for being alone, at least he passed.
*Minutes later*
*DONG*
"Finished!"
70 whole roasted pigs, down this thing's stomach, They were all too stumped to speak. Except for Menchi.
"I'm not like Buhara, I'm going to be a little harder to please," She said "For the second half of the second phase, my dish will be…
SUSHI!"
'We're not supposed to know that, are we?'
"Hee Hee… you all seem shocked.
It's not a surprise that no one knows what it is. It's a traditional dish of a small island country"
"She wants us to figure it out ourselves"
"Yep, I'll give you a hint, check these cooking stations, all the tools you need are over there.
The exam will end when I'm full, now get to cooking!"
The station didn't give much, all it had was rice and a few knives, they couldn't be used on the rice, that much was obvious, and they were too sharp and fragile for the pigs, so that must mean…
"I need to find a river…"
"What?! What the hell are you talking about?"
"The knives, they are Filleting knives, not boning knives, they aren't heavy enough to be used on most meats, just fish,"
"Or you know? It could be just a knife, have you ever thought about that smart guy?"
"He's right," Kurapika interjected, " I think I read about this dish."
'My luck strikes again'
"Alright then, I'm off, good luck"
—–—–—
Fishing is hard.
No, fishing is impossible, and all the fishermen just buy their fish from the supermarket, that's it. There could be no other explanation for what is going on to Valais right now, no logic that can explain this empty bucket and a sour expression on his face and no words to explain the hopelessness in his heart.
"Can't fish?" Leorio said, Smug as ever.
'When did they even get here, did I pass out again?'
"Maybe?"
Yes, very smart Valais, genius even.
"Just follow us, I owe it to ya"
Thank you, God.
—–—–—
"Here we Go! Raw fish, vinegar, Rice…All hand moulded!"
He shoved a fish in a rice ball.
"Genius!"
"Umm… Leorio, that doesn't look…"
"ONE SUSHI, COMING UP! LEORIO SPECIAL, eat hearty"
Of course, like any logical being, Tenchi threw the dish like it was trash.
403 came next and failed just as badly.
"What do you think?" Kurapika asked.
"Huh?"
"You're the most perceptive one here, so I'm curious as to what your plan is"
"Oh! Well…
They gave us knives, so we have to cut the fish…"
"Right…" 'Why didn't I think of that?'' Kurapika thought.
"... and judging by the two sticks on her hand it can't be bigger than an egg"
"I already saw that, besides it can't be too complicated, since she told us to mass produce it"
"Poisson cru is served on a soup dish, but she didn't give is that did she, and we don't have any coconut either"
"You could serve it on a normal dish, can't you?"
"But it's not what she asked for…"
'Wait…'
"Aha!" He found it at last.
"Figure something out?"
"Of course I did,"
Kurapika looked intently at Valais's table,
He placed a long thick line of rice around the size of his cut fish, one where he only removed the skin, later placing said fish on top of the rice.
"It's not egg-sized?"
"But you see, you CUT IT "
Valais was sure of himself, Confident even of his dish being sushi.
"Only half of this is sushi"
"Huh?..."
"I said only half of this was sushi!"
"W-wwell at least there is some, right?"
"..."
"..."
"Fair enough"
"Hell yeah!"
"Now for the taste!"
"Hell no!"
She tasted it, and then just glanced at him.
"Too much vinegar?" He said.
She nodded
He didn't even bother to reply, just left the place, and the entire warehouse, defeated.
He barely even heard the chaos within the warehouse and never paid it any mind, just sat there with his duffle bag, alone again, just him…
*crash*
And contestant 255.
—–—–—
Chapter end.