I may not be a physicist, but even I know enough to describe the flight path of an object thrown into the air. As the force of gravity conquers the power of inertia, the object will reach the top of its arc and begin falling. At this point its vertical speed becomes zero, only beginning to grow again once the direction of momentum has been reversed, accelerating toward terminal velocity as it falls. In other words, when an object thrown upwards toward a high place, the closer its destination is to the peak of the arc, the less force the object will have to absorb upon landing.

As it was, Yamame's throw was expertly calculated and delivered us into the deep drifts of snow on the surface with close to zero impact. Even with that said though, reverse bungee jumping remains among the most terrifying things I have ever experienced, and I have no interest in ever going through it again.

"Bwauh!" Renko gasped, as she pulled herself out of the snow drift. She appeared to have landed head first and was just now coming to grips with the fact that she had safely arrived with her face buried in snow.

I don't blame her. It took time for my brain to catch up as well and realize that the overwhelming whiteness covering everything, the very sensation of light and open skies was something normal and sensible. It was only once my brain remembered how to contextualize those stimuli that it could sort things out well enough to tell me that snow was creeping down the nape of my neck and into my dress.

"Gah! It's cold!" I yowled, sitting up and trying to extract the offending snow.

"Merry! Are you okay? Are we both alive? I can't believe we survived all of that!"

"You can't believe it!? Who's fault is it we were in any of those situations? My boots are totally full of snow now! If this ruins the leather you're buying me new ones!

"Agh. The sun is so bright! I'll take snow and open air over the darkness of the Underworld any day though. We made it, Merry! We're safe!"

"I feel like I've lost five years of my life in two days. I can barely remember all the things we saw down there. A city full of youkai, the green-eyed hashihime guarding the bridge, the Hell of Blazing Fires and the palace above it. Did all of that really happen? It feels like it was all a nightmare."

"This hangover tells me at the very least the drinking parties were real, and if they were, it makes sense that everything else was. We've got work to do Merry, but don't worry about losing years of your life. Think of all the extra years you've gained by living in a place like Gensokyo. There's no smog here, climate change is 80 years less intense and I bet people here don't even have microplastics in their blood. For now though, we need to begin our investigation into the truth behind the leaking of the earth spirits, before things get any worse down there. We've got to get to Moriya shrine. Then we should probably ask our students about Koishi. But tracking down Lady Yasaka comes first."

"Are you up to that, Renko?" I asked, pouring snow from my boots and tapping out what remained. "I thought you were too hungover to move. Where'd all this energy come from?"

"I'm probably running on pure adrenaline from that flight just now. As a hangover cure it certainly works, but I can't recommend it."

"Well I hope you're in peak condition," I said, putting my boots back on and standing up. "Because Keine's likely to knock our heads clean off when we get back to the village. We must have missed two days of classes at this point."

"I'm sure it'll be fine, Merry. Look at all this snow, the temple school is probably closed."

During the winter, school closures were not uncommon. Heating both classrooms could get expensive and clearing snow from the roof of the school, the path leading to the school and the road in front of it was too much labor to get done before the start of classes on a heavy snow day. Even if the school had been open, children were more often absent in the winter, being called upon to clear snow at their own homes on days when it was needed. Given the construction of most houses in the village, accumulation of snow on roofs was a serious concern and after a heavy snowfall it was not uncommon for all business to come to a halt until mid morning or early afternoon as all the men in town worked together to clear the roads while the women and children attended to the snow on and around their own homes.

With all of those concerns whenever more than a centimeter or so of snow fell in the space of a day, it was generally assumed that the school would be closed. Looking around at the heavy drifts surrounding us, I wondered if anyone on the surface had even noticed that we had been missing.

The two of us dug our way out of the snowbank and looked out towards the edge of the woods, in search of anything that looked familiar. We weren't too far from Misty Lake, but with the heavy snow blanketing everything, any hint of the trail leading back to the village was lost. Marching back through the snow would be a difficult proposition. Renko had her trenchcoat, but even with that it was sure to be a long, cold and unpleasant slog. I could only hope we would make it back to the village before nightfall. Looking up at the sky, I exhaled a plume of white breath as I tried to gauge the position of the sun, and hoped futilely that me might see Marisa or Sanae fly by.

Who we saw instead was Alice Margatroid. She seemed to take notice of us right away, two blots of color against the broad expanse of white snow surrounding the inky black of the entrance to the Underworld from her perspective. Slowing to a halt overhead she wheeled around and descended, landing lightly on the snow in front of us.

"What are you two doing here?" she asked, a quizzical expression on her face.

"Alice! Am I ever glad to see you!" Renko said with earnest enthusiasm. Before she could continue though we heard another voice, this time from behind us.

"Are you still here? I thought you had given up and gone home yesterday." We turned to look where the raspy voice had come from and saw Patchouli floating over the snow towards us, wrapped in a puffy lilac coat with a scarf wrapped over her neck and mouth. "Or are you perhaps coming back again? Did you find a way to get to the Underworld? You look underdressed for the weather."

"The Underworld?" Alice asked, growing even more surprised. "Were you planning on sending these two down there?"

"They actually offered to explore the Underworld for me and report back on commission on their own. As humans, it wouldn't be a violation of the treaty to send them down, so I showed them this entrance the other day. Getting them down safely may be hopeless though." Patchouli explained in an emotionless tone.

"Actually, we fell into that pit almost immediately after you left, I'm sad to say. We've been down in the Underworld ever since and just got back to the surface moments ago." Renko said with a casual shrug.

Both magicians turned to her, wide-eyed.

"What? You've been down there?" Alice asked.

"Tell me what you found." Patchouli demanded.

"In due time, in due time," Renko said, holding up her hands. "A lot happened, and it will take a while to explain it all. For the moment though, I'm more curious about what the two of you are doing meeting here in weather like this. Given where we are and that it was important enough to drag you both out of your warm houses, I'm guessing that the two of you were about to discuss pooling your resources to attempt to find out more about what's going on down there? If so, might I make a suggestion? Rather than attempting to find a magical solution, why not send Marisa down into that hole to investigate the matter?

The two of them looked at eachother in surprise then turned their gaze back to Renko, who was smiling knowingly.

"The Hifuu Detective Agency always delivers the goods, ladies. I just ask that you exercise a little patience in this case. I promise you you'll get the answers you're looking for, but I've only just returned. Please give me a few days to prepare a report and I'll be able to give you all of the details. In the meantime though, it would be most convenient if we could send someone like Marisa down there."

"Convenient? How? And why send Marisa? I don't care about the details for now, just tell us what you saw."

"My report will answer all your questions. For the time being though, the most important thing to be aware of is that there is indeed an Incident going on down there, and it is one that requires someone with substantial power to resolve. Merry and I were able to figure out what was going on, but we had to turn back before confronting the one behind it due to the danger involved. Seeing as sending anyone other than a human down there would violate the treaty, it seems like only Reimu or Marisa would be qualified to look into this."

"You made it as far as the mastermind? What happened?" Patchouli demanded. "I'm paying for a report, just tell me what you learned!"

"Well actually, you haven't paid me anything yet. You specifically said you'd rather buy a report than pay a retainer, so I'm afraid the incentive structure rewards thoroughness over speed in this case. You wouldn't want to renegotiate that either, given that you need to maintain plausible deniability on your involvement here, so I'm afraid you'll just have to wait for my story. There's a lot to it as well, so I really can't promise anything sooner than a few days from now. I can tell you this much, however: If Marisa or Reimu were to go down there and just follow their usual path of taking out the youkai closest to the source of the problem, then the issues would all be resolved for the short term. A long term solution is something I'm actually working on on my own right now and expect to have ready along with your report in a few days, but for the time being sending someone down to look into matters in a more immediate way would probably be a good idea."

"A long-term solution? Why are you being so cagey about this? Is there some reason you don't want to tell us what's going on?"

"Miss Patchouli. You recall me telling you that the Hifuu Detective Agency prides itself on maintaining the highest standards of professionalism. Part of that means respecting client confidentiality, and in this case that means that some level of discretion on my part is required. I'm sure you can understand that. This Incident is not a simple one caused by someone powerful out of boredom. Resolving it will require not only a skillful application of force but the proper use of tact and understanding."

"How is sending that bone-headed hedge witch down there to blast everything that moves tactful or understanding?" Alice asked, peevishly.

"Well, like I said, explaining it would be complicated," Renko said with a shrug. "I assure you that it will be clear once I've issued my report, but for the time being there's a situation down there that is actively worsening at the moment and it's imperative that we do something soon to relive the pressure."

She seemed like she was about to say more, but we all heard another voice calling out, accompanied by the sound of footsteps hurriedly pushing through the snow. My initial suspicion was that it must be Marisa, but I quickly realized she would be more likely to fly than approach on foot. Turning toward the sound of the voice, I could see something blue-green just barely bobbing above the surface of the snow drifts as it moved toward us.

"Oi, miss Patchouli, wait up! I can't follow you if you're always flying away!" The snow directly behind Patchouli was suddenly parted by a pair of cartoonishly large, white-gloved hands which, moving at the end of a pair of hydraulic armatures, neatly pressed the snow to either side. After packing the snow into a tidy tunnel they parted and retracted backwards, folding themselves back into the oversized backpack of the figure who pushed through the gap they had created. "Hyui! Lady Ibuki's friend! Why are you here?"

I was very surprised to see the face of Nitori Kawashiro, the kappa engineer emerging from the snow tunnel. The other two youkai meeting here were both magicians, so their shared interests and involvement might have been expected. I couldn't for the life of me imagine how Nitori might be involved though.

"Nitori? I could ask the same of you."

"Eh er, well, I heard that a big geyser had erupted near the shrine, so I thought I might be able to use it as a power source. I snuck over to the Hakurei shrine to have a look at it but this witch caught me and has been ordering me around since!"

"It's 'magician,' not 'witch,'" Patchouli declared, distractedly.

"Patchouli, is that true? Don't be mean to the little kappa, what'd she ever do to you?"

"Soaked several of my grimoires and a good set of robes for one, but our purposes now seem to be in alignment. We were going to meet here to discuss the Underworld, Alice, but even without having done that yet, the fact that you showed up suggests you want to know more about what's going on down there, correct?"

Alice nodded.

"And you, miss kappa, also wanted more information about the world underground, especially as relates to the geyser, yes?"

Nitori looked at the two of us uncertainly, then nodded as well.

"Well then, if Renko won't disclose any of what she saw at this time, maybe we ought to consider her suggestion. Sending Marisa down there wouldn't violate the treaty, and if we sent her with a magical proxy of some sort, we could even get a look at the situation below for ourselves."

"A proxy?" Alice asked. "Like one of my dolls? My magic threads wouldn't reach that far."

"Hmm, I could anchor your threads to one of my scrying crystals, but they don't last long without a constant supply of magical power. Unless I can recite the proper incantations over them, I can't see through them for more than an hour or so at a time and with your doll drawing power, they'd be even shorter-lived."

"Hyui? You need to talk to the crystals? Would this communicator work? It's a battery-operated radio device that can transmit voice over long distances." Nitori said, pulling a bulky metal handset out of one of her numerous pockets.

"A magical tool? How does it work?" Alice asked as she took the communicator from Nitori. "Marisa is fairly apt at using her trigram furnace. Maybe she could manage something like that to keep us all linked together." Her hands roamed over the various studs and buttons lining one side of the device, and a noisy burst of radio static issued forth, jarringly. Alice dropped the brick-like phone in alarm.

Nitori retrieved it, brushing snow from the exterior. "It's not magical. It's kappa engineering, and it's one-of-a-kind, so be careful. Well, two-of-a-kind, really. I have the other right here, and if you talk into one, your voice comes out of the other." She produced a twin device from another pocket.

Patchouli reached out to examine the device, turning it over in her hand as she scrutinized its case. "Using a magical tool as a binding fetish does make casting a spell easier. I suspect that's why an amateur like Marisa uses that hakkero for her light magic. If this is a tool for long-distance communication, it could act as a focus for a seeing spell or a remote manipulation charm. Hmmm."

I'm no magician myself of course, but my mind flashed to Yusuke Urameshi pointing his finger like a gun while using his Rei Gun technique, wondering if it worked on the same principle. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, go ask to borrow YuYu Hakusho from the Moriya shrine.

"Well, it might work, if this device is reliable enough, I suppose." Alice said, looking at the other communicator curiously.

"Is this really an entrance to the Underworld?" Nitori asked in wonder, peering over the edge. "Are the oni still down there?"

"They definitely are, but stay away from the edge, Nitori, the ground isn't stable there, trust me." Renko said, extending an arm toward the kappa. If only that prudence could have come a few days earlier.

Nitori backed away from the edge with a worried expression as Patchouli smirked at her. "I've already spoken to the youkai sage," she intoned. "I don't think she knew you two had already gone down there, but she confirmed it should be fine for a human from the surface to try. If we're going to send Marisa down though, I don't see any point to keeping these useless interlopers around. Alice, fly the humans back to the village, please.

"What? Why me?"

"Because we need to test if you can move one of your dolls at a distance this way. Leave one here with me and take one of the kappa's toys with you. We'll try it from the village. If it works we may as well have you go get Marisa right away."

Alice looked from Patchouli to Renko, then finally over to Nitori. With a sigh she accepted the communicator then twirled a finger in the air, calling forth one of her shanghai dolls and commanding it to float over to Patchouli and sit on her shoulder. Patchouli regarded the blonde-haired doll with mild amusement for a moment, then produced a clear, pinkish crystal the size of my smallest finger from her pocket and inserted it into the back of the doll's dress. The rainbow shimmer of Alice's string wrapped itself around the crystal, then vanished.

"We'll test how effective these are over various distances as you go."

"Alright then," Alice said, tucking the communicator into her belt. Back straight, she lifted her chin proudly and offered us each a mitten-covered hand. "Shall we go?"

"I'd be happy to," Renko said, taking her right hand while I took her left. "Even I've had enough adventure for today. But what's gotten you interested in the Underworld, Alice? I didn't think it was related to your studies."

"I wouldn't have thought so either," she said as we lifted gently off of the ground. "But my dolls all started going crazy when I went near that geyser recently. One of them tried to attack me and I had to detonate her. If geysers like that are going to erupt all over the place, I'll need to take efforts to keep my dolls from being possessed. I was coming back to see if a simple protection charm on that Shanghai would work and I ran into Patchouli. We talked for a bit and agreed to meet up here."

"Alice, can you hear me?" The device on her belt bleated in Patchouli's voice over a soft hiss of static.

"Yes, quite clearly. I'll fly to the village and try again from there."

"Go ahead." The device said before emitting an electronic chirp.

Then, without another word, Alice turned toward the village and carried the both of us home.