Hello everybody. The end of this story is getting there, only two or three chapters to go.
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Have a nice week everybody!
Chapter 9
Everybody starts to speak excitedly with each other, but I see that my dad's not finished yet. He asks my mom to come towards us. "Listen honey, Santana. The wounds she has … that's not from something you can give yourself by falling. This is clearly a case of physical violence done by somebody else. The rupture of her livre is probably caused by frequent … hits in the stomach. We called the police two hours into the operation… Did you made sure her parents weren't alarmed?"
My mother answers. "Yes I made a few calls with some colleagues at work. The police should be at their home right now interrogating them both."
I didn't know I had any tears over, but my eyes welled up again. "Wait, papi, what do you mean? How badly hurt was she?"
He gives me a broken look: "Too much in comparison with any person, especially a child, should have to endure in their life."
I can't. I can't breathe. I can't feel. I start crying again. Didn't know I still had enough water in my body to make tears. "Wait, what did you say mami? Her parents are getting interrogated right now?"
She lets go of my father's hand and takes mine instead. "Yes, a doctor called the police. Apparently Jack, Brittany's stepfather has been on their watch for some time now. He's lost a few jobs, all because of unneeded violence. So there's a big chance he's the one who's …"
I beg her not to finish that sentence. I can't hear this right now. How could I not have seen this coming? Brittanye must have been in so much pain. Constantly. I get that she's protective of Charlotte, but … "WAIT, what about Charlotte? It's Monday, Brittany is supposed to pick up Charlotte from school. she can't go to her parents right now, what do we do?"
My mom turned full on working mode. She's probably had similar cases like this one before. Family lawyers probably see a lot of things you wished you never saw. "Who does Charlotte know besides you and Britany?"
It takes me a second to think clearly, images of Brittany too much in the forefront. "Uhm, oh she has met Quinn a few times."
My mom turns her attention towards the room, ignoring all the emotional teenagers who are all sad yet relieved at the same time. "Judy, could you come here for a second?"
Quinn and her mother come towards us. "Listen, I know this is a lot to ask, but would you be okay to pick up Brittany's younger sister in 30 minutes at her school? Apparently she's familiar with Quinn. I think it's of great importance she sees a familiar face right now. We don't know the details yet, but her parents are not in a place to look out for her right now. There are official guidelines in situations like this, but I've known from experience that it's never a good situation to put the child at such a traumatizing time in a home or station with zero familiar faces around them."
Quinn's mother must sense the seriousness immediately. She goes into motherly mode in a millisecond. "Of course, no problem. She can stay the night at our place if that would be necessary?"
My mom put's her hand on Judy's shoulder in response: "Thank you. That would be wonderful. I volunteered myself as the lawyer from Brittany and Charlotte, so I'll talk to the police, giving them the info of where Charlotte is. I'll let something know if I know anything else about the outcome from the interrogation… One more thing. Don't try to discuss things with Charlotte if she doesn't start talking about the subject. She's only eight years old, I would rather let a professional psychologists find out what she has experienced and what she knows. If she asks after Britt, you can say she's in the hospital because she's a bit hurt. You can answer her questions truthfully, but don't ask any questions yourself. We don't know what we're dealing with yet. I don't want her to get any more traumatized, even if that wasn't our intention at all."
When I gave Quinn a hug I mumbled in her ear to say hello to Charlotte from Britt and I before giving each other a teary encouraging smile. There's not that much to say right now.
When Quinn and her mom are gone I ask my father if I can see Brittany yet. At that moment Puck decided to listen in to the conversation and asked the same question. My father is a bit hesitant to answer.
"Look, I don't want to disappoint anyone, but I don't think it's wise to visit Brittany with so many people at a time. She's still unconscious, but we don't want her catching anything more. I would prefer if only one person visits her. At least for today and tomorrow. If she wakes up in a good state then we can discuss more visitors."
It's only Mike I'm making eye contact with. Nobody else but me should be the person to visit her. I really hope he'll understand that. I think he does, because before I know it he's taking the word, thanking everybody for coming and wishing a quick and good outcome. He actually pleads to them that it should be me who can visit Brittany. Can you believe that?
When it's only just Mike and I in the room we give a silent look. Both covered with guilt. He asks hesitantly. "Did I hear your father correct? Was she really in a … domestic violence situation?"
My throat is closing up, so my voice is sounding very screechy right now. "Yes"
It's all I can manage to choak out. There's not much more to say. I think out of all people, we're the ones who feel the most guilt. We should have noticed something. Mike is her dancing buddy and I'm her best friend. We should have seen this.
Mike asks me if it would be okay to give me a hug. If it would have been any other situation I'd say no. But I think I need the hug just as much as he does.
It's brief hug, yet it gives us some support. He asks me to say hello to Britt from him. I promise him I will.
When Mike walks away too, my parents motion for me to walk. Probably towards Britt room. Before I step into her room I give them both a quick hug. My mom tells me she's going to check for an update while my dad just gives me a supportive squeeze in my arm.
I take a really deep breath before stepping into the room where I know Brittany will be. I know she won't be conscious. I open the door, with some difficulty. Those hospital doors are always so heavy!
When I walk into the small room, I hear beeping. Probably her heart monitor. God, the smell in a hospital has never comforted me. And the walls. The hospital beds… brr. It's really not my preferable habitat. But it's not about me right now, it's about Britt.
When I take a look at her, my heart breaks a bit in half. She looks so fragile. I've never seen her this pale. There's a tube in her nose and her hands are both covered in bandages. I immediately start crying again. "Hey Britt, it's me, Santana."
I take a step forwards, not really expecting any reaction. I take one of her covered hands in mine, just to have an arc to keep myself sane. After it was silent for a long time, I speak to her.
"I'm …. I'm so sorry! I should have known. I should have known better then leave you alone the minute you confirmed someone was hurting you. I should have known. I should have called the police, barged on their door until they gave you protection 24/7. I should have known my hunch since the beginning of this school year wasn't some hysterical thing I imagined. I think I just wanted to be wrong so bad that I didn't want to acknowledge it. Not really. And I didn't want to feel ashamed if I was wrong. Which sounds so bad. So I'm sorry. Please be okay. I want to talk to you. I want to feel you. I want to kiss you. I want it all. But I don't know how you'll ever be able to forgive me. Lo siento."
I feel a hand touching my shoulder. I jump a bit up at that, not really expecting somebody else in the room. When I turn around I see it's my mother. Tears evidently in her eyes too.
"Santana. I want you to listen to me very carefully. What happened to Brittany is awful. What happened to her shouldn't have happened. But this is not your fault. This is not your responsibility. I know speaking a thousand words couldn't convince you, but if I want you to learn one thing from me, from your mother, it's this. You have no 'sorry' place in this story."
"But …"
She doesn't let me speak. "Answer me this: did you hit Brittany?"
I gasp at that: "What? Of course not!"
"Did you verbally assaulted her".
"NO!"
"Where you ever in a situation where you saw with your own eyes in front of you that somebody was hurting her?"
"No…"
"Did Brittany ask for your help and you didn't react and ignored her?"
"No."
"Well there you go. The only people who are guilty in this story, are the ones who hurt her. Nobody else. Do you hear me?"
"I do, but …"
"The only thing you can do right now is be there for her Santanita. Nothing else. I will be 100% sure that if she wakes up, she'll tell you herself you have done nothing wrong. And I know, believe me I know, people who feel guilty are mostly the people who shouldn't feel guilt. It's like they carry it for the people who should feel guilty. Like her father probably. But you have been nothing but a good friend to her. Hell, you figured this out, without even being asked to figure it out. We had a plan. Nobody could have expected that only in the arc of those 12 hours things could have gone so wrong. We were going to work this out today. You weren't going to ignore this thing, even if you were the only person on this planet who believed her. So no Santana, you did nothing wrong. You should not feel guilty. Can you try that for me?"
I lean into her, not really knowing what to say. Rationally I understand what she's saying, but it's difficult to not let guilt overcome me if I see Brittany lying like that before me. "Iii promise I will try."
My mom gives me small kiss on my head in response and whispers te quiero mucho in my ear.
After some minutes she walks out of the room again, saying she'll make some phone calls, to figure out what's happening right now.
I know I should probably let something know to Mike, but I'll do that in a minute. For now I just need to feel Brittany besides me. I take her hand again and lay my head on the hospital bed. Very carefully, I don't want to hurt her in any way, and I'm not sure where all her injuries are.
It's not long after that I feel sleep take over, drained out from the adrenaline and crying.
Three hours later (late afternoon)
"Santana? …. Santana, wake up" I jolt a bit awake, having the strangest dreams of an unconscious Brittany and me the person who needs to get to her, but isn't able to because my legs are in quicksand and then there was a forest in the shape of a piano … I don't know, it doesn't make that much sense as it did a minute before.
I turn around and see it's my mother again.
"Hey, I let you sleep for some time, but I have some updates, thought you wanted to know them."
I'm wide awake at that, wanting to hear what's happening.
"So, the police took Jack, her stepfather, in custody, he's not leaving the police station anytime soon. All the administration and court is for some other day, but they affirmed it's him. He confessed it too. He doesn't want to say too much yet, but the most important thing is that he can't hurt Brittany anymore."
I am flabbergasted. I saw this man. Multiple times. Unbelievable how people could surprise you this much. How could he do that to another person?
"And uh, what about her mother. You said she was under interrogation too?"
"Her mother is free again. The police chief himself told me they are convinced that she wasn't aware of what her husband was doing. She claims that she's almost never at home, and when she was, she didn't really saw something. She seemed deeply ashamed.
I frown my eyebrows at that: "How could a mother not realise something like that is happening to their daughter? … Are they really sure she didn't do anything?"
My mother gives me a big sigh. "I know, I can't understand that part too. God, if somebody would … hurt you, I would … no, I don't want to think about that. But I have faith in the police. They've been in interrogation for almost four hours. That's a lot. Domestic violence, especially towards children, is always taken very seriously. They wouldn't have let her go if they had even a small suspicion she's not innocent in this story."
She takes a seat in one of the hospital chairs. Taking a long look towards Brittany. She may not be her mother, but I see so much love in my mother's eyes when she looks at her. Even more than before. It's love, combined with worry and pain.
"God, I cannot believe that someone as sweet as Brittany had to go through something like that."
I see tears in her eyes, which makes me weepy again. I look at Brittany again, trying to give me some support. "So what does this mean, like for Charlotte and Brittany?"
"Well, as long as Jack is in custody they can go back to their mother, Susan. All practical stuff will have to be figured out. I called Susan, letting her known her daughter is here. She's on her way. I also told her that Charlotte is with close friends of mine. She didn't disagree to let Charlotte stay the night at their place. Which is a wise decision of her, I appreciated that."
I look strangely at her. "Why wouldn't she want Charlotte with her?"
"Because she's very emotional and stressed right now. I actually suggested the idea for Charlotte staying the night somewhere else. The poor girl is only 8. Children at that ages are like sponges. They take every emotion that's happening around them and if they don't understand the emotion, it can stick with them for a long time. Susan doesn't want to traumatize her daughter in any way more than having to tell her father is in jail. She agreed to first get her own emotion a bit more under control. I told Judy to bring Charlotte back to Susan in the morning. Susan will call me if she thinks it's not possible to be at least a bit okay at that time again."
When I try to formulate an answer, there's a small knock on the door.
"That will be Susan. Come on Santana, let her have a moment alone with her daughter. I'll stay with her, but I think it would be too overwhelming for her if friends from her daughter are here too right now. And don't give me that look, I know you're more than that, but you know what I mean. Go grab something to eat for yourself. You must be starving, you probably haven't eaten anything since this morning?"
At that moment my stomach starts to grumble. Huh, yeah she's right. But I don't want to leave Brittany alone…
After some more convincing from my mother, with her promise to not leave Brittany out of her sight, I decide to take a small walk. I do feel kind of dizzy from hunger and need of fresh air. Trying to find my way into the maze that's called the hospital I find the cafeteria.
I quickly take my credit card out of my bra, since I'm still wearing my Cheerleading uniform. I should change out of this. Good think I keep my cell phone there, putting your credit card in your smartphone case is the most handy solution I ever found for not having to take your whole wallet everywhere with you.
I only pick up some sandwiches and a water. I'm not really in the mood for eating much, but my mom is right, I do need something to eat. When I bought the stuff I needed I find my way towards a small garden, implanted in the middle of the hospital. I sit down on a bench and start scrolling through my messages. There have been a lot of them.
The first inbox I open is my private messaging with Quinn:
/ Quinn: Hey, got Charlotte safe and home. Was a bit confused, but said Britt proposed a sleepover at my place since shes feeling abit sick. Yeah, shes sad, but my mom and I put some nice movies on. How's it going over there?
I give her a quick update message about what's happening over here before opening my PM with Mike. There are a few, beginning from this morning:
/Mike: how's it going at the nurse room, everything okay with Britt?
/Mike: Santana? Please give an update, I'm super worried?
/Mike: Okay, now I'm coming over there
/Mike: How did she look in the room? And hwry feeling?
/Mike: I know were not that familiar w eachother but if you want a shoulder or talk, im here
/Mike: any updates on Britt?
I give a brief update about Brittany to him too. I also ask him if he could update the rest of the glee club. His answer is almost immediately. He'll take care of the group. I'm grateful for that.
I see I've got some messages from my parents to, but I just saw them, so I'll ignore those for now. Last one is from the glee club group chat. I scroll towards the beginning of the day.
/Mike: Guys, that ambulance you just heard driving away was for Britt…
/Matt: What happened!?
/Mercedes: OMG what happened to my home girl! She alright?
/Mike: don't have any details yet. Sorry
/Kurt: Can we go visit?
/Tina: idont think the principal will let us all go to the hospital. Maybe divide in 2 groups? One 2 the hospital, others 2 look out for the rest, homework and all
/Rachel: As I am very concerned about Brittany, I think I could be of best help to stay here. I don't want to upset Santana in any way. Who's got the most classes in common to keep track for the ones who will be absent for the rest of the day?
I scroll down for a really long while. Those idiots. It's impossible to find out each other schedules through groups chat. Groups chats are the worst! You can't get anything done through that, one person doesn't answer, the other starts about something completely different, UGH, they're so unbelievably frustrating.
/Finn: alright enough! Rachel, me and Artie stay here, we have almost no class in common but mosttimes with someone else from gleeclub.
/Rachel: Greatly spoken Finn.
/Puck: got my car ready 4 you at the front school.
/Mike: be there in 5
/Mercedes: on my way
/Tina: same
/Kurt: me too
After that there are lots of unanswered messages who are meant for me. Lots of questions about Brittany. What happened, how she is, et cetera. Some from Rachel about not worrying about my homework that it has been taken care of for me and Brittany. I know she probably means well by that, but it just feels so unemphatic right now. You think that's the highest of my worry? I get that's she's trying to be nice, but she can take the blood from right under my nails like twice a day!
Whilst I'm scrolling down to the end I see Mike dropping a new message.
/Mike: UPDATE: Brittany will definitely get through this. Had some issues during the operation, but all is fine. shes still asleep for now, but can wake up at any moment. No visits possible anymore for today, we can go tomorrow after school with the whole group?
I decide to give a quick answer
/Santana: thank you guys for today. She will appreciate the support… a lot
I close my phone after that. I'm not really feeling up to talking with someone. I asked my father if I could stay the night with Brittany. It was okay for him, as long as my mother was fine with it too... fathers, they're a strange species.
I've been away for 10 minutes, so I think it's safe to go back up again. I don't think Susan will stay that long, and otherwise I'll just hang at the door or something.
When I walk into Britt's room (after knocking), I see it's only my mother there sitting in the hospital chair. She said Susan seemed shocked and really sad, so yeah. They agreed to let Charlotte stay the night at Quinn, so Susan can get her own emotions a bit better in check. Judy, Q's mom, will drop Charlotte of before school tomorrow morning. We'll have to see how to schedule tomorrow evening, since both Susan, Charlotte and the glee club want to visit Britt.
I ask my mother the same question as my papi, and she's fine with me staying the night. I'm super grateful for that. The night nurse brought me a pillow to sleep on and my mother went home after 10pm, saying she'll be back tomorrow morning.
The night went relatively well. A nurse came checking up on Brittany three times. A doctor who's good friends with my father came by to take away the worst machinery from Brittany. It will give her more freedom to move. For now she doesn't have one of those tubes for in your hand yet, since her hands where so badly hurt they just give her shots of painkillers in her shoulder. And since she didn't have any difficulty breathing on her own anymore, that was taken away too. That must be all good signs I guess.
It's still difficult to see her like this. With the machinery gone you can let your imagination give a bit more the feeling this isn't a hospital. My imagination must not be strong enough though, because the feeling of hurt is hanging in this air. I've cried so much already today I started to feel numb after some time. I think my unconscious is waiting for her to wake up. When she wakes up, then I'll have place again to feel.
Anyway, the morning is starting and the sun has set already. I decide to put the TV on for a bit, because I can't really endure this silence anymore. When I fell in and out of sleep in the chair during the night then it was more okay. But now, with bright light streaming into the room, it's too much (or too less) to bare.
The symbol for the local news is just appearing on the screen. It's 7:30, so it's only going to be a short update. I don't really like the news, so I'm looking for the remote to change the channel. My attention snaps back to the TV when I hear the breaking news alarm and see Jack's face appearing on the screen.
They don't give away that much detail, probably because they don't really know anything yet. There's only some footage from Susan and Jack disappearing into the police station, and only Susan who's walking out again. I guess they figured that meant Jack was put in custody. I'm too focused on the screen that I don't immediately notice the movement beside me. It's only when I hear a voice that I'm startled.
"They arrested him?" I hear a really scrappy voice, probably from sleeping that long.
I turn around and make the brightest smile my spontaneous self can do. "Britt! You're awake! Oh my god, I'm so happy you're alright. How are you feeling?"
She's not really paying much focus on me for the moment, too busy listening to the tv, that's saying how her mother will give a statement in the afternoon. She makes a worried look before talking to me again.
"I want to see Charlotte." I have an incredulous look on my face from that question.
"Britt, I know you do. But you just woke up from being unconscious for almost 20 hours. Charlotte and your mom will visit you soon. How are you?"
She doesn't budge. "I want to see Charlotte. I'll walk to her myself"
I give a frown at that. "You can't just decide to walk out of this hospital. You've had serious internal bleeding. You can't just run around like this."
She doesn't really react, starting to fidget with her hands.
I won't budge, she needs to rest. "Britt no. your mom will come visit you and she'll bring Charlotte with her. We'll let your mother know you've awoken and they'll come. Charlotte can come to here."
I get the silent treatment after that. Fine, if she wants to play this game, she can. But I won't play. I try to propose a counter offer.
"Do I need to look for my father and mother. My mother can call your mother to come here with Charlotte. I think my mom is in the cafeteria. Do you want me to bring her here?"
She gives me an unreadable look. It looks a bit numb. "Yeah, that would be nice."
Good, she's talking to me again. I tell her I be right back and walk towards the eating room. I see my mom is on a call, so I wait until she's finished. When we walk back into Brittany's room I feel mortified. She's gone… the hospital gown laying carelessly on the bed, her clothes that were put on the chair gone.
I take my purse, ready to take out my car keys… which are gone too. Brittany what did you do?
"Mom, I need your car keys."
She gives me a worried look. "Why? Where's Brittany?"
"I think she's going to do something stupid, I need to stop it"
She gives a stern look in return. "Not in this emotional state. Let me drive, where at?"
I'm glad she's not asking any unnecessary questions right now. I start running towards the exit, my mom running right behind me, too slow in my opinion.
Luckily her car wasn't far away and I almost shout to her to drive to Britt's house. I've got a really bad feeling.
"Drive mom, please drive faster!"
"Santanita, her father is in prison. He can't hurt her anymore!"
I feel sick. "I don't think it was only her father mom."
She takes a high pitch breath in, not really answering. Just putting her foot on the gas pedal … with results into a loud BOOM
"What was that?!"
My mom stutters a bit. "I don't know, I'll check".
I'm already halfway out the car. "I don't have time for this, I need to go!"
My mom's calling something towards me, but I didn't understand what she said. I don't care right now. The only thing that matters is Brittany's safety.
I think I broke the Olympic record of running four blocks in a neighbourhood. I've never ran that fast in my life. My heart is pounding in my ears and my legs are burning. The rest I don't even notice. I need to get to Brittany. I start to slow down my pace a bit, since I've arrived at their house. I hear shouting. Really loud shouting…
"You can't. you can't take Charlotte away. You have no right to take her for yourself!"
"… I am her mother. I can do what I want! Don't you see how naïve and stupid you are. Who do you think you are? You're nobody. Charlotte doesn't deserve to be your sister. She deserves way better then you. It's best to leave you behind …."
I don't want to hear more than that. I barge into the house, quickly processing my senses. Luckily it's not the largest house, so I can quickly locate them. They're in the kitchen. Both their attentions snap towards me. Her mother giving me the most vicious look I've ever seen. Brittany the most worried look ever. I try to talk, but Brittany's first.
"San, remember what you promised me a few days ago? I need you to fulfil that promise… Charlotte?"
I see a small head from behind the couch in the living room pop up. "Little angel, can you go with Santana? Please?"
I see she's just as hesitant as me. But Britany's eyes are begging me right now. What do I do in such a situation? I don't know, I don't know. I don't want to leave Brittany behind. I'm sure, I love her with my whole heart. I can't leave the love of my life behind. But … she was so desperate for me to make that promise. Does she have a backup plan? Does she know what she's doing? Am I disrupting a plan? And Charlotte's her life. I'm part of what needs to be protected in her mind too. But can't she see I want to protect her too!
"San, I'd never forgive you if you break that promise, please take her with you and run!" She's sounding desperate now.
My heart breaks in a thousand pieces. She's making the decision for me. I give her a defeated look, together with all the love I can find and sent them from my soul to hers. She must sense it in some way, because she reacts to it, giving me the most longing look back.
I take a look at Charlotte and open my hand for her to take. Charlotte takes one last look towards Susan, before running to me. Once I take her hand I start running towards the door.
Susan is yelling the most angry 'NO' I ever heard. I don't look back, I run. I hear a hard thud. Probably Brittany who pushed her mother back. Brittany luckily stood in the space between the kitchen and the living room, so she had an advantage towards the front door.
I run with Charlotte until we're three houses further. I try to say to Charlotte to stay hidden until I say otherwise, and that I'll help Brittany out. Whilst I'm trying to convince a child to play hide and seek when emotions are already peeking, I hear sirens. Not 30 seconds later I see three police cars driving towards Brittany's house.
I cry out in relief. At that moment I see my mother running towards us too, telling me she called the minute I ran away from the car. I ask her to look out for Charlotte and start running again before she can react. I run back towards Britt. I run back towards the love of my life.
The police men have already barged into the house. When I try to step on the steps towards the front door, there's a police woman who's holding me back.
"Ma'am this is not the place to run into. For your own safety. Please keep your distance."
Like hell I will! I try to run past her, but she's stronger than me. On an outsider perspective it looked a bit ridiculous probably. She's just holding me and there's nothing I can do about it. When I want to try to let snixx out, her phone/walky-talky goes off. They ask for back-up. She lets go of me and runs into the house.
I don't care about my own safety, I care about Brittany's. I see two police men struggling with Susan, and the woman who stopped me is helping her colleagues now. Susan is violently waving around with a … … knife, covered in blood. My face drains out at seeing that.
"NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOO" Where is the other police men? Where is Brittany? I run towards the kitchen, since Susan is in the living room. Once in the kitchen I see the third police man. He's bowed towards … Brittany.
I choke, I cry, I yell. I don't really realise what I'm doing honestly. I do feel my body running towards Brittany and kneel next to the other officer, who's too busy putting pressure on Brittany's abdomen to give me anything more than a once-over. Probably realising I won't do them any harm.
There's blood. Like a lot of it. I try to look into her eyes, but she's unconscious again. This is not happening. This is crazy. It's like flashback from not a day ago! And all because of …
"YOU! HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO YOUR OWN DAUGHTER? HOW DARE YOU? HOW DARE YOU HURT HER!"
It's the same police woman from the front door who's holding me back from Susan. I'm speaking gibberish in Spanish, but nobody is really reacting to me. The first combi leaves with Susan and then I see my mother standing at the door, with Charlotte. I lose a bit of my fight, not wanting to upset her.
My mother asks the officer to stay a minute outside with Charlotte, so she can calm me down. I'm not having any of it. I'm not even aware of what I'm doing right now. My Brittany! I couldn't protect my Brittany! I thought she had a plan. I thought there was more behind her running plan then just protecting Charlotte and me. I thought …
I don't know anymore.
The whole next few days all past by in a blur. Waiting in the waiting room again for what felt like ages. Alone this time. Everybody else was in class, it's Tuesday after all. All having no fucking clue what's going on right now. I don't have the energy to text them. I don't have the mindset to even figure out how to use my phone right now.
It took a loooong while waiting. My mom was with me most of the time. She did sometimes walked away to do some phone calls. Trying to find a solution for this mess. It's ridiculous. There has been so much unravelled these days.
They found out the local police chief was corrupt. Susan had him right in her hands. He was the reason she didn't get any charges against her. He was the reason she was let free again. He was the reason Brittany was put back in the hospital.
There's like a total revolution going on in the police department right now. I'm glad in a way, they're really putting effort in this case. It's never heard of before in Lima. I hope for Britt and Charlotte that this will all get settled soon.
They have a suspicion that Susan has a mental illness. I don't care. Every bad guy these days has a mental illness. Doesn't give you permission to do bad things! My mom had postpartum depression, but even though she had that, she made sure I was taken care of, even if it was in the way of making sure my father had it handled.
If you know you have schizophrenia or bipolar disease or whatever, work on it. For all I care you have anger issues, but don't take them out on other people like that! God, she hurt her own daughter and now they say it's because of a mental illness. That doesn't make it better, not for one bit! Doing bad things is bad, no matter what label you want to put on it. It's our way of understanding things, putting labels on stuff. It's not something you can use to give yourself excuses to do things and then claim it was not in your power to hurt her!
Luckily it doesn't mean she's not guilty. My mom is finding a way so that Charlotte nor Brittany need to give a statement at the police, although I'm afraid she won't be able to do that. She's so worried for them. She's so worried it'll traumatize them even more. She might find a way to not have to put Charlotte through official court, but if we really want her parents to pay for these deeds, then Britt will have to witness.
For now Charlotte is staying at Quinn's place again. It was her mother who suggested it. Brittany doesn't have any close relatives who lives in this state. They don't even have any legal forms of family. Probably Susans doing too. She worked in the building where those papers are being held. I wouldn't be surprised if she burned any legal evidence of other family relatives.
By now we've all seen the news. The glee club chat is bombarded with questions and worries and prays sent to Brittany.
It's especially Quinn, Mike and Tina who've visited a lot during these days. Quinn makes sure Charlotte is always with her, she's doing nothing but asking after her big sister. Quinn's mother has tried to explain the situation a bit towards Charlotte, who's for the most part taking everything in stride. We're not sure she's understanding everything 100%, but for now her only focus is Brittany.
So yeah, I don't know all the legal stuff that are at play for the moment, I just know for sure they won't get near Brittany, or Charlotte, any time soon.
And then Brittany herself … she had another emergency operation, after apparently being stabbed by her mother, which made her recently patched up wound reopen again. She's lost a lot of blood on that kitchen floor. Once out of surgery my father told me thy would keep her in an artificial coma for three days. Just to give her body some time to heal everything well. Her back tore open again, because she probably was pushed against the wall and her shoulder was dislocated. We saw some damage at her shoulder, it wasn't the first time he was dislocated, so they healed it the best way they could.
And so on, that's where we're at. Brittany in a coma for almost four days (they weren't completely satisfied with her test results yet). Parents locked away for a long time. Other members of the glee club took care of Britt and my homework. Not that that's any of my concern right now. But it's nice of them. It can come useful once Brittany is up and awake again. Even Rachel helped in her own way by looking out for homework.
The teachers are actually letting me of the hook this week. This is quite an unusual situation. And it's Lima. I'm sure all town knows what's happened right now. Plus, my mother is on the case. They said I could let out one week, but once Brittany is awake and I'm assured she's going to be okay I need to go back. I needed to promise I would go back to school the minute she's fine… or awake at least.
I don't care right now. I'm glad my parents allowed me to stay the nights at Brittany if my father isn't on call. It only happened twice. Although my mother is putting a lot of her concern into helping Britt and Charlie, she's got plenty of left for me. Makes sure I eat, sleep and shower. But fast showers, I want to be with Brittany as much as I can. Even if they prohibited me to go to school right now, I wouldn't.
The thing is also, even when she's unconscious, I can see that Britt is still a bit restless. I try to speak to her, and sometimes it seems like her body relaxes a bit more if I speak or sing to her. I lay next to her, making sure to not put any pressure on her bandages or something like that. It was the best sleep I had in a week.
At one time glee club came to sing a song for Brittany. I really had a hard time to repress the annoyance about it. I know they mean well. I really do. But this is not something we can fix with song. Quinn told me afterwards I'm too hard about it. They feel powerless too. We haven't known each other for so long yet. They don't know how they can help Britt in the best way possible. Quinn looks at it more positive and finds it a bit amazing they're already so passionate about visiting every day.
Friday
It's Friday evening. They are finally going to put her out of her coma! My mother and I figured it'd be best if not too many people where in the room. The last things she experienced were very traumatizing. So glee club will wait until tomorrow to visit. Quinn and Mike will visit tomorrow morning. Only me, mami and Charlotte will be here when she'll wake up.
I'm losing my patience. It's been already thirty minutes since she should have woken up. Why isn't she waking up?
"Sany, when will she wake up?" Charlotte asks in an angelic voice.
"She will Charlie, very soon, don't worry." I try to keep my voice steady and positive, even though I'm wondering the exact same thing.
"Can I lay in bed with her?"
I take a look at my mom, who shrugs in response. I scrape my throat a little. "Sure, what would you say if we both lay at a side of her? In that way we can protect her both from the bad guys who keep her asleep."
She's very enthusiastic about that. It must run in the family, those protective genes. Or it's a Brittany and Charlotte thing. Let's keep it at to those two. No need to talk about their family right now. After I made sure Charlotte was lying safely, without a possibility of her hurting Brittany, I walked to the other side of the bed, taking as little space as possible.
"Sanny, could you maybe sing a song for us?"
"I can never say no to you or your sister. But only this time Charlie …"
For you, there'll be no more crying
For you, the sun will be shining
And I feel that when I'm with you
It's alright, I know it's right
…
It doesn't take long for Charlotte to fall asleep, it's after 8 already. I don't really have a clock on me so I'm just lying next to Brittany, breathing in her scent. It's very vaguely right now. It's all mixed up with hospital smells I don't like. I wish she wakes up soon, very very soon…
"San… San … Santana …" I feel a small nudging in my side, and hear a vaguely familiar voice on the surface of my mind. Wait, I know that voice out of millions. That's Brittany's voice! I (gently) shoot up, wondering if I'm dreaming or not.
"Britt? Brittany, you're awake!" I give her the gentlest hug I can manage, while giving her a thousand ways of showing my happiness that she's awake.
"Slow down San, my brain hasn't woken up yet. I first saw Charlotte and then I saw you, thought I'd give you my attention first before letting the rest of my brain give a piece of my mind"
I give her a small kiss on her cheek "That's oddly romantic to say. I don't know how you managed that"
She blushes a bit in reaction before turning her attention towards the room. I see a flash of panic starting to wash over her face.
"Hey, hey, Britt. Don't panic. Trust me. Everything is under control. Your sister is safe. You are safe. Everyone is safe. They can't hurt you anymore."
Her heartbeat monitor is starting to beep really fast. Shit. What do I do? This is not the moment to panic! Her body needs time to wake up in a peaceful way.
"Britt, listen to me, your parents are locked up. Your body will heal just fine. Charlotte is in your arms, completely safe."
She's looking at Charlotte, trying to sense if she's really there. Then she's looking over me, with a lot of guilt on her face. I don't really know why.
"I'm … I'm so sorry San, you shouldn't have experienced that. You deserve so much more in your life, you …"
I don't let her finish that sentence. I've had the urge for kissing her ever since our last kiss. I didn't really want to kiss her when she was unconscious. What if she didn't want to? But she's conscious now, she can push me away if she wants. Plus I need to have a way to distract her rapidly, her body needs to calm down.
So instead of answering in words, I answer in gestures. I caress her cheek with my right hand, slowly leaning towards her. I look in her Christal blue eyes, looking for any resistance for what I'm about to do. I find none. It's a bit difficult to find a way to lean onto one arm, when I don't have that much space to begin with. There are still some tubes and everything around, but luckily her face is free of them for the moment.
I whisper in her ear that I'm going to kiss her now before giving the most softest, sweetest and caring kiss I can manage. It's not aggressive in any way. The only aggressive about it is that I didn't let her finish her sentence. At first she gives a little bit of protest but she quiets down quickly. She tries to lift up her right hand, before realising there's a tube in that one, before gently prying her left hand away from her sister to put it on my neck, drawing me closer.
I'm afraid of hurting her a little, but she only pushes me closer in response. When I try to gently put my own weight back on the bed instead of her, she gives me a small nudge which gives the effect of putting part of myself on her. I try to protest, but she only gives me a wicked smirk in return. Oh boy, I'm in for a serious contest about who's the one most in control and who's the most whipped. I will never admit this verbally, not at all. But ... yeah I know I'm a sucker for those eyes of her.
I don't care. She's the only one who's allowed to see my mushy side, and she's the only one who seems to be able to emerge that side.
We keep it innocent, her sister can wake up at any moment, so after a few seconds I give a few more small pecks before laying back on my own side.
"I was hoping your heartbeat would slow down a bit, but it seems I'm not the solution to slow that down."
She goes beat red after that, realising I can hear every small crack or acceleration. It's funny, when she's fully awake I can play around with that for a bit. Before she can give her remark, we hear Charlotte waking up.
Britt's attention turns, looking over at her sister. "Hey little angel"
"Britty, you're awake!"
She jumps into Brittany's arms. I see a flash of hurt transfer on her face, although she's not really saying something. After a few seconds she does ask her sister nicely to sit back a little.
"How you feeling sissie? Are you okay?"
She sits cross legged on the bed, crossing her arms over each other. "NO, no asking me if I'm fine. I'm mad at you. You didn't let San protect you. You made me run. I am mad."
Britt's a bit speechless at that, not really knowing how to respond to that.
"Hey Charlie, maybe we can be mad at Britt later. Let her wake up in peace for a bit."
Her face transforms from angry to sad in a second. "I'm sorry Britty. I am so happy you're awake. I missed you!"
"I missed you too munchkin. I'm okay … maybe keep the bear hugs at a minimum for now though"
Charlotte was hugging her sister again, but turns her bear hug into a softer hug immediately after hearing Brittany ask so.
I give a relieved sigh, letting sink in that Brittany seems okay. After seeing her hesitating who's attention she needs to put her effort more into, I help her make the decision. I suggest to look for the nurse, to report that she's awake. It'll give them their sister moment for some time.
After the nurse checked out if Brittany's monitors and blood pressure was okay, they left us alone again. She does mention that she'll have a light concussion. She should be prepared for some dizziness or headaches. We're advised to not keep the room too bright for the next few days.
My mom was very happy to see Brittany alive and breathing again, giving her a very motherly hug which made her almost cry. I went downstairs with Charlotte for some time, let my mother give Brittany an update of what's happening. Also asking her if she would be up to give a statement to the police. She's already won the verdict for getting the correct punishment for Susan and Jack. Under one condition. Brittany's statement needs to be flawless. If her statements confirms the acts Jack and Susan did (which they confirmed themselves for the most part), all will go like it's considered now.
It's a given that the police will at least try to talk to Brittany for some time. It's standard procedure. The doctors called the police for the case of Brittany, so yeah …
I asked my mom if I could stay one more night with Brittany. She said it was okay, as long as Britt was fine with it. I didn't need to ask that twice. Though she did say I will have to forgive her if she falls asleep during the night once or ten times. I don't care. I'm so happy to hear her voice again.
Once we're alone again I see her lose some of her posture. She was probably trying to seem strong for her sister.
"Hey Britt … I know it's probably a stupid question, but … are you okay?"
She calls me over to sit on the bed with her. Her voice sounds a bit weak for the moment.
"Honestly? I don't know. Psychically, I could be better. But I'm still on a lot of painkillers, so yeah, that could be worse. It hurts a bit to breathe though."
I almost don't dare to ask it but … "And mentally?"
It's a bit silent after that. "God San, I don't … I don't know what to think or feel. I feel relief that my parents are finally safely away from Charlotte. I feel relief that people see the situation is it is ... or was. But part of me doesn't believe it. I'm still so afraid. And … you, I don't …"
I don't speak, let her figure out her words.
"I don't understand why you haven't run away yet. How can you look me in the eyes?"
I frown at that. "Look in your eyes? But B, you know you did nothing wrong right? None of this is your fault!"
"Well yeah a bit, but like, I never should have left Charlotte alone. I shouldn't have passed out. You know my mom was going to run away with Charlotte that morning? And … what you saw … I didn't want you to ever see me like that … so weak."
Okay, deep breath San, not the moment to get angry.
"B? You know it's okay to feel weak sometimes right? And you didn't put me through things. You're so strong Britt. It's not your fault you passed out. I'm feeling a bit angry that you're saying these things. God Britt, you got hurt, none of that is your fault."
She looks defeated. "Yeah, I remember your speech about why I didn't deserve this. But … I don't know San. I'm not ready to talk about details, but they talked me down so much, it just, it messed with my head. The unicorns in my head can't fly around because of the chains that are bound around their legs."
"Then we'll find a way to find the key to those chains Britt. We'll find them. You're wonderful, amazing, beautiful. You deserve so much more than you've been given. And I won't ever leave your side again."
She hesitates a bit at that, and I give her a questioning look. "I know I'm starting to sound like a broken record … but are you sure it's me you want to be with?"
"Brittany, I would sing a thousand cheesy love songs to you, just so you would understand how much I want to be with you!"
She blushes a bit at that. "Then I think I would be a really lucky person to get you by my side. I … I like you so much San"
Wow, this is progress. I didn't expect it so soon after she woke up. My mom warned me a bit that children in domestic violence situation can have very low self-esteem. But the fact that she lets me be with her. It's. it's indescribable.
I get the most happy smile on my face I can have, in response Brittany is giving me a smile back. She's got twinkles in her eyes. It's been so long since I've seen those.
I hear the heart monitor starting to beep a bit faster again. Hah, I think serious conversation needs to put on hold for now. Britt needs relaxation. And what's better than a bit of teasing?
"So, about before …" I put my ring finger on her covered wrist, while slowly going up her arm. Soft enough to feel nice, hard enough to not tickle. ".. I'm actually quite surprised to realise what effect I can have on you …"
The monitor is starting to beep faster, a lot faster. I dare to take another step. I bring my head towards hers, but instead of kissing her lips or cheek I go for a small place beneath her ear, for some reason I know she's really sensitive there. It's ridiculous how loud it starts to beep now. It's difficult to hold in my laughter, this is so cute!
I give a small kiss in her neck, before following her jawline towards her lips, before she loses her patience and tries to take matters in her own hands.
I can't really hold in my laughter anymore. She gives me a confused look.
"What's so funny?"
"Haha, sorry B. But we're taking this monitor back home. I love to hear your reactions so vividly. The monitor is beeping like crazy."
Her eyeballs get ridiculously large at that whilst she's starting to get red dots on her face. She looks very embarrassed. "Ha, I didn't realise for a moment I still had that thing attached to me."
"Yes it is. I love it!"
"Oh shut up San. Not funny." She tries to make a mad face, but she's failing.
"And you're cute B."
"No kisses for you tonight Santana Lopez."
My jaw drops at that. "NO! Aw come on, I didn't mean it. Please forgive me. Pleeeaaase?"
I try to give her my puppy look eyes, but we all know she's the queen at making those faces. But it seems to be working in some way, because it doesn't take long before she grabs a part of my T-shirt to motion me forward and giving me another peck on the lips.
I don't think she's able to go further than an innocent kiss right know. A full on make out session will have to wait until she's a bit more healed. Maybe that's not a bad thing. Maybe we should have a decent conversation about our feelings towards each other, without other … heavy stuff involved.
It doesn't take long before she falls asleep again. I follow soon after. A lot of things still need to be figured out. But for now, her being at my side … It's been the best and most peaceful night I had in weeks .