'''Bart is Deaf''' Bart is reluctant to have a booster shot. Once he gets it he finds he is deaf for a while. Then a donkey rips his shorts so he accidentally moons the flag and patriots everywhere hate the Simpsons. Also has Elmo and some fanfiction writer trying to put incest scenes involving Hugo and Bart.
== Plot ==
There are two couch gags. The one where we go into space, atoms and DNA and Cells and out of Homer's head again. And on FFX the Simpsons are being grown in a giant microwave.
One night in Bart's room. Bart is sneakily Reading a comic in bed when he should be fast asleep. He is using a torch to discretely read an issue of Radioactive Man.
He is disturbed from his late night reading by a rasping version of his voice if he had a bad head cold.
"Do you mind, Bart? I am trying to sleep." Hugo groaned.
Bart gave a small sigh of frustration, closed his comic and resurfaced from the sheets of the bed, pointing his flashlight to another boy very similar to him although with messier hair, and missing teeth, wearing a big black Spinal Tap shirt; he was sleeping on the right side of the bed.
"And could you take that light away from my face? ..." the messy haired boy protested "... I'm still getting used to the outside light." Hugo groaned.
"Well, excuse me for trying to enjoy my comic at the only time of day when I can enjoy it in peace." Bart replied in a sarcastic way.
"Well, if you don't like being here with me, you can always go sleep in the attic, if you want I can prepare the shackles for you, they haven't been removed yet." said Hugo.
"Uh Hugh, our social workers won't allow any of us to live up in the attic anymore. You're family, whether Dad likes it or not."
"Some family I have..." Hugo muttered.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Bart asked sarcastically.
Hugo sat up and glared at him, crossing his short yellow arms.
"... It's cool, I'm done reading it anyway." Bart said as he turned off his flashlight, closed his comic and put both things on his nightstand.
"Night."
"Night..."
They slept peacefully until Bart woke up, smirked and squeezed out a loud fart and shoved his twin brother under the covers. Forcing him to breath the stench from his colon. "Dutch oven!"
Hugo groaned and wriggled. Eventually he escaped from under the blanket. "Bart! That's disgusting! Now shut up and go to sleep!" He went to sleep feeling moody and annoyed.
So Bart goes back to his side of the bed and tried to sleep, tossing and turning, adjusting himself and trying to get sleep…but he couldn't. There was something that was bothering, and he quickly figured out that it has something to do with his new roommate, so he takes back the flashlight and shines it overhead on Hugo, disturbing his sleep once again.
"Bart, I'm warning you…" Hugo grunted, trying to curl and cover himself, annoyed by the light, but he was interrupted by Bart.
"First let me warn ya, Huey: we may be brothers, but that doesn't mean I can trust you, this is still my room, and I make the rules."
"Please, brother…" Hugo sat up. "You are in no position to make threats. I've been on a very high protein diet of milk and fish heads along with the occasional rotten vegetables I can pilfer out of the bin. I am far more likely to win in a scuffle."
...
The next day Marge and Homer were having trouble with Oscar being hyperactive or squealing at things.
First when bribing the kids with ice cream and kittens in order to take them to get their boosters.
"Enjoying your ice creams kids?" Homer asked them as they sat in the back of the car eating ice creams.
"Yeah!" said the kids.
"Oh good! How about a kitten each?" said Homer holding some baby kittens.
"Yeah!"
"Make mine a calico!" said Lisa.
Suddenly upon seeing the cute kittens, Oscar's pupils shrank and his lips quivered as he got that demented look...
"Oh no..." said Bart.
"Haaaaaaauuuuuwww! Kitten! Kitten! Kitten! Kitten..." Oscar squealed because of his Aspergers.
Marge sighed.
Oscar was squealing at the kittens.
At Doctor Hibberts. Oscar soon started again because there was a poster on the wall with a dolphin swimming on it.
"Haaaaaaaauuuuwwww! Dolpha! Dolpha! Dolpha!" Oscar squealed.
Bart face palmed and growled annoyed.
"Marge how about we get some Ritalin for the little weirdo?" Homer asked being insensitive.
Oscar glared at him.
"Homer no! You know he hates us medicating Bart." Marge said sharply.
"Wheeeeeee!" Bart was riding the ceiling fan, by holding one of its blades.
Marge sighed.
Then the kids worked out their appointments were for booster shots.
They screamed and tried to flee.
"Guys no! Seriously you need those boosters to fight deadly illnesses. Isn't that right Noah's mom..." Oscar asked Noah's Mom from [[Father Knows Worst]].
"No! They cause autism! My body my rights!" Noah's Mom screamed.
Oscar rudely coughed on Noah.
"Oscar..." Marge sighed.
Bart sat down bored. He glared at the baby toys on the table in the middle of the room. "Why don't they have a games console?! None of these silly baby toys interest me. Well except the Flintstones Phone... Hehehe!"
...
Dr Hibbert's vaccination room.
Hugo, Lisa, Oscar and Maggie had already been um was being difficult.
Hibbert was chasing him about.
During the montage Drederick Tatum punched Hibbert in the face for some reason.
"This black on black violence has to stop!" said Dr Hibbert.
Bart got all the way home. Dr Hibbert was exhausted.
"Don't feel glum Doc. I won't even let my mom clip my toenails." said Bart. He took off one of his blue sneakers and the sock too. Suddenly very long brown twisted toenails flecked with blood sprung out. Eeeeeew!
"Eeeeeeeeeew!" His family and Oscar groaned in disgust.
Billy from Grim adventures grinned and had his mini toenail guillotine.
"No Billy you're not eating them." said Bart.
"Fine Bart. Be a danger to yourself and others. The slightest sneeze and Eccccck! Thump! Dead! You'll have to live in your bubble again." said Oscar.
"Fine..." Bart frowned.
Bart cried as he rolled about in his bubble rapidly down the street. Hugo and Lisa quickly caught him.
"You're still not used to that thing are you?" Hugo sighed.
They went to the library.
"Pbbt! Hugo, what are we doing here?" Bart groaned. Standing there in his bubble.
"Learning and studying so we can get a career, a home, and feed our children in the future." said Hugo.
"Hugo there is no future. Let's just have fun while we still can..." said Bart.
But he had to suffer through Hugo and Lisa sat reading boring books for a few hours.
Meanwhile third grade gym.
Mrs Pommelhorse is now Mr Pommelhorse.
"Freak..." said Oscar rudely. He of course got detention.
Ace waited for him after class.
After detention Oscar overhead Skinner discussing that news of Bart's refusal to vaccinate and live in a bubble was one too many Antivaxxer kids.
"It was too far when Noah's Mom took him out of school during TB shots citing her insane conspiracy theories about vaccines and autism." said Skinner to Dr Pryor.
"But sir, people have these beliefs. Even if they endanger their own children. Surely you're not suggesting forced vaccines?!"
Oscar would listen a bit more but Cheatsey Koopa pulled him aside and reminded him that he was the emperor of eavesdropping.
"And the only boy in school wearing eye shadow..." said Oscar.
Cheatsey the Koopa Troopa, well a mutated one from Bowser's genetic line, reapplied green eye shadow to his shiny green eyelids.
...
At home Marge put her foot down and didn't kowtow to Bart's refusal to have his boosters. Unlike Cartman's mom.
"Okay sugar, I mean Lord and Master. You don't have to have your booster shots." said Mrs Cartman to Eric.
"My body, my choice." said Eric triumphantly.
"Okay that slogan also applies to women and their abortion rights then. Fatso." said Oscar annoyed.
"Nope! God is very specific on that! It's a sin!" said Cartman.
Oscar couldn't think of a retort. So he punched Cartman in the stomach. "That's for Dr King!"
"Come on Oz." said Marge softly as she dragged Bart to the GP surgery.
Bart grunted resisting.
"Okay that's Oscar jabbed for Tetanus and Diphtheria." said Dr Hibbert.
"Can I have a lollipop." Oscar asked.
"I dunno. Can I have my job back?" Dr Hibbert snarked.
"Nope still haven't forgiven you over Hugey." said Oscar.
"Okay Bart your turn. Stop squirming!" said Dr Hibbert.
Bart played with the anatomy skeleton.
"Bart! That hobo skeleton is not a toy!" Dr Hibbert scolded Bart.
"Oh god! You rip out skeletons from homeless folk too?!" Oscar screamed.
Bart got his jab but there was a problem. He was deaf!
"Now, that wasn't so bad, was it, Bart? You know sometimes the fear of..." said Dr Hibbert.
(STATIC CRACKLING) Bart can't hear.
"Whoa. Something's wrong! I can't hear!" Bart cried.
"Doctor, perform a diagnosis!" Homer gasped.
"Hmm... I'm afraid the inoculation has swollen his ear holes shut." said Dr Hibbert. "But this is a mild side effect compared to what Diphtheria would do to young Bart.
"Yes I suppose it's better to vaccinate and deal with unfortunate but mild side effects." said Marge.
"What is everyone saying?" Bart cried.
Oscar relayed what Hibbert and Marge said to Bart but in sign language.
"You call going deaf mild?!" Bart yelled.
Oscar explained in sign language it was only temporary.
Also Barney Gumble was banned from the library. For some reason.
"Awwwww..." he groaned.
"You know why you're not allowed back Mr Gumble..." the librarian sighed.
...
Along the way home Marge and Homer bought Bart a hearing aid. So he could hear.
Homer took to pranking Bart while he was deaf by honking a handheld klaxon loudly at him.
"Homer stop that! He can't hear, we get it!" Marge told off her husband.
"And that's not funny to do that!" said Oscar's partially deaf cousin. He had a hearing aid in so he could hear the klaxon.
Bart put his hearing aid in. "So what was happening. I was enjoying blissful silence."
"Homer was trying to blast a klaxon in your ear. But I guess you didn't hear it because you took out your hearing aid." said Oscar.
"Beethoven was deaf." said Hugo.
"No one cares you fre-aaaaaaaaagh!" Homer tried to be rude to Hugo again but Oscar zapped him with a taser. "I said you fre-aaaaaaaaaaagh!" Oscar zapped him again.
At school.
Bart's deafness caused a problem when a donkey ripped off his shorts and he accidentally mooned the flag. But then again the donkey was a treacherous Democrat.
Lisa glared at the fourth wall.
"Eeeeeeyaaaaaw! More freedoms! Punish hate speech but allow flag burning! Tax the rich!" Also the donkey was voiced by Eddie Murphy. Hehehehe! Eddie Murphy donkey from Shrek..."
Stampy bellowed a loud trumpet call from his trunk like elephants do.
"Yeehaw! You said it the wonderful symbol animal of the Republican Party." said Rich Texan to Stampy.
Stampy expressed his Pro life extreme anti abortion views and anti gay views. The Republican bastards...
"Both parties are crap. That's why I'm a communist. Our party's animal is a bear." said Oscar. There was a communist bear.
== Plot 2 ==
Anyway Political blowhards like Nash Castor labelled the Simpsons as traitors and that they should be punished.
"Nash you can't punish us for exercising our freedom of speech..." said Lisa frowned.
"You're a communist! You hate America!" said Nash.
"Now I've just had about enough of you sir!" said Droopy dog. He was in a Family Guy gag where a political blowhard was accusing him of being a traitor too.
"I say we leave the states then and live in another country. Hopefully one with gross food. Like my friends Jurkle and Ace eat." said Oscar.
Ace and Jurkle glared at him.
As such no matter how much he ranted or tried to make their lives difficult, Nash couldn't get the Simpsons arrested simply for disrespecting the flag.
"Spiky haired boy, what would you do if Bart mooned your flag?" Nash asked Oscar who brought with him a miniature Union Jack.
"Well I'd throttle him and gut him." said Oscar angrily.
Bart frowned at Oscar.
"But I'm not the law. Unfortunately. So my government wouldn't punish him either but they'd punish me for attacking him." Oscar continued.
"Those Dumbocrats!" said Birch Barlow.
Lisa frowned at Birch.
However, the law couldn't punish the Simpsons but people could make their lives difficult.
Moe wouldn't serve Homer.
"Get out Benedict Arnold! I ain't serving you!" said Moe. "And I say this as a Dutch immigrant. Well part Dutch, part Greek, part Arminian."
Homer sat and argued with himself about his other personality sleeping with Marge.
"Hey, how you doing, Homer?"
"Oh, not too bad. How about you?"
"Oh, I'm fine. Your wife was great in bed last night."
"You keep your hands off my wife!"
"Oh, yeah? Well, I give her what she needs. And she like..."
"Why you imaginary!" Homer strangled himself.
"Okay this Guy is nuts..." Moe said grimacing.
"Homer stop it! Just get out! We don't want to drink with a flag burner!" Lenny yelled.
"Fine..." Homer groaned and went home.
Apu wouldn't serve Marge.
"Even as an illegal immigrant myself I love America for letting me stay! Shame on your son Marge!" Apu scolded Marge.
"Oh good because now you can say goodbye to America because I just reported you to ICE..." said Oscar.
Homer's imaginary friend came in and tried to woo Marge.
Marge gasped. "Max Power?" Yeah my head canon is that Homer talks to his alter egos like Max Power and Señor Esteban De la Sexface.
...
At home.
Bart went to check on Oscar but was horrified by something.
He gasped because Oscar was putting on an Argyle sweater! Specifically a sleeveless Argyle.
"Aaaaaaagh! It's so dorky!" Bart screamed.
Oscar glared at him.
Elsewhere the following democrats were in the lounge supporting the Simpsons.
Bill Clinton.
"Those patriots and blowhards tried to imprison me for saying the Republican tax cuts unwise. And I stand by it. They're unwise. I want my Washington Post!" said Bill Clinton.
"And I want you to admit you shagged Monica Lewinski." said Oscar still wearing the geeky Argyle sweater vest.
"Never!" said Bill Clinton.
"Elmo why are you here?" Lisa sighed exasperated.
"Republicans mad that Elmo went to wrong fundraiser." said Elmo.
"That's not why the Feds are after you..." Oscar grumbled annoyed at him.
Then the Feds tried to arrest the Simpsons for treason.
"Per the Government knows best act." said a Fed SWAT trooper.
But Oscar unleashed loads of Clownjas on them. His clown headed cartoon jack in a box creatures were biting the Feds.
Bart grimaced.
"Freedom of peach!" Oscar yelled.
"It's freedom of speech Oz, but yes! Freedom of speech!" Lisa explained then chanted with him.
They fended off the Feds.
Marge swept up after the brawl.
"Now to put away all my little clown heads." said Oscar putting the Clownjas in hammer space or some storage dimension.
Bart grimaced.
Lisa and Maggie took to poking his vaccine booboo on his arm where he had his booster shot.
"Ow! Quit it!"
"Ow! Quit it!"
"Ow! Quit it!"
Bart sighed as his sisters followed him to his room.
"Now that wasn't so bad, was it, Bart? You know, sometimes the fear of something you can get over pretty fast." said Lisa.
"Hello Bart." said Sideshow Bob popping up at Bart's open window while atop a ladder.
Bart screamed and fled.
Lisa grimaced because of the odd moment and felt awkward.
"Oh and Lisa, I've jumped on the patriot bandwagon too. So I hate all Simpsons right now." said Sideshow Bob.
Lisa sighed.
...
At night.
Bob had gone into hiding wherever he was hiding. Bart has already shut and locked his bedroom window just in case.
He sighed as Hugo was sleeping with him, in his bed, platonically you weirdos... they're brothers...
Hugo was reading a Jules Verne novel. Probably 20,000 leagues under the sea.
Bart sighed and got out a Radioactive Man comic and read it.
Then Hugo decided to go to sleep. However Bart annoyed him again by reading via torch light with a bright torch because Hugo had turned out the lights wanting to sleep.
"Bart turn that off! It's too bright!"
Bart did so but glared at Hugo.
Then he annoyed Hugo by farting in bed.
"Bart! Gross!" Hugo groaned.
Then a fan fiction writer arrived. Probably a fat neck beard or a moon freak with 72 genders.
They tried to write a hard core gaycest (gay incest) sex scene between Bart and Hugo.
"And Bart inserted himself into Hugo and they made unnatural love, they went Brokeback Mountain." The fan fiction writer dictated aloud as they wrote.
"No! No! No!" Bart got out of bed and grabbed his or her notes and threw them at her. "Now get out!"
The weird fan fiction writer left.
Bart got back into bed and tried to go to sleep.
"Now if you'll excuse me, I've given you all the time I can spare. Goodnight..." said Hugo nodding off to sleep.
The next day Bart as Bartman has the same problem other kid heroes have. Not being taken seriously.
"They're all yours Officer." Bartman has apprehended some bank robbers.
"Step aside, son. This isn't playtime." said Chief Wiggum doing his job sensibly first once.
Bartman sulked and went off in a huff.
"Playtime?! I'm ten years old! I don't do playtime!"
"I do." said Oscar as the dashing Diaper Boy. He was wearing a superhero eye mask, a security blanket as a cape and a diaper.
Bart grimaced exasperated.
"Well at least people are lot more respectful to me in this disguise than my real self after that mooning incident with the US flag... I do respect it but it was an accident. Stupid donkey..." Bart as Bartman sighed.
Home.
Hugo looks in the fridge. There's loads of prune juice. Figures... Grampa's staying over...
"Prune juice, prune juice, and, oh, what a surprise, more prune juice. Why does it seem old people were always old?" Hugo sighed.
"DRINK YOUR PRUNE JUICE!" Earl or URL the black nerd from school yelled.
Hugo grimaced. It's a gag from the Transformers Michael Bay films.
...
The Simpsons gathered.
"Okay being ostracised for Bart's accidental mooning is really grating..." said Lisa at dinner.
"Mmmmmmmm! O-" said Homer doing his Mmmmmmmmm! Thing.
"Don't you dare say ostrich eyes!" Marge yelled.
Marge calmed herself. "You're right sweetie. We've got to do something."
"Yeah shopkeepers refusing to serve me really gets annoying and-" Oscar was distracted by a squirrel. "Haaaaaauuuuwwww! Fwuffy squirrel!" He squealed.
Bart groaned. "Oz go and play with your vaccine bribe kitten. No wait don't!"
"Too late! Haaaaaaauuuwww! Kitten! Kitten! Kitten!" He continued squealing while playing with his kitten.
"And we need to sort out, that..." said Hugo.
"Hugo Zachariah you'll just have to get used to Oscar's eccentricity. He can't help it." said Marge.
"Mom please don't use my full name..." Hugo groaned.
Oscar's squealing at cute things continued.
Lisa was watching a documentary on dolphins.
Oscar's pupils shrank as he went demented.
"Oh no..." said Lisa.
"Dolpha! Dolpha! Dolpha!" Oscar squealed.
Lisa sighed.
Then the kids were playing soccer outside. The ball was one of those soccer balls with pentagons on it.
"Haaaaaaauuuuwwww! Spotty ball!" Oscar squealed running after the ball.
Bart grimaced.
Then at the park.
"Oscar where have you got to?" Marge couldn't find Oscar.
"Haaaaaaaauuuuuwww! Ducky! Ducky! Baby duckies!" He found some ducklings and was trying to disrobe so he could swim after them.
Marge sighed.
At home.
Ralph came round. Lisa tried to tell him a story, a nice one suitable for him but Oscar kept ad libbing Planet of the Apes into it.
"Damn dirty apes!" Oscar yelled demented.
"Oz no!" Lisa whined.
"You've ruined the story like I've ruined my pants." said Ralph.
"Eeeeeeeew!" Bart cried out in disgust.
...
Bart went to get a drink and a break from the lunacy. However when he got back...
"Please laugh at me! I don't exist unless you laugh at me!" Clowncy, the evolved form of Clownja, cried.
Bart grimaced exasperated.
"Hi Ralph, he said to Ralph.
"Hi traitor." said Ralph.
"Ugh! You too?! Ralph it was an accident. A stupid donkey ripped my shorts but I couldn't hear him or the jeering because I was deaf for a while..." Bart explained.
== Plot 3 ==
Bart was fed up with being hated and the angry comments and being called a communist. So in class he day dreamed about being in a weird Anime spoof as Blast the Pokegoblin trainer again.
Blast woke up and announced he was gonna be the Pokegoblin master again.
"Santa! Santachoo!" said Santachoo.
There was a ring at his doorbell.
Blast got dressed and answered the door, A boy resembling Milhouse was there.
"In Bart's anime-esque day dreams I have super Saiyan powers and I'm a captain Ersatz of Trunks Briefs." The Milhouse boy with super Saiyan powers was dressed as Trunks.
Except he had spiked anime style blue hair. Like Goten's except blue.
Bart's dream didn't have a story or direction to its madness as Homer arrived as Ultraman. Then Bart as Astro Boy and Lisa as Sakura from Cardcaptors.
Blast winced.
"I have machine guns? In my butt?!" Bart as Astro Boy gasped.
"I shall wear increasingly sappy costumes while capturing elemental beings into cards with my magic staff. Oh my god! A tiny flying teddy bear!" said Sakura Lisa.
"Shut up!" said Kero/Cerberus.
"Don't tell me to shut up!" Lisa as Sakura snapped.
"Don't call me a tiny flying teddy bear then!" said Kero.
Marge was Sailor Moon.
"Kamehameha!" Super Saiyan Milhouse fired a Kamehameha laser.
Blast winced as Trunks/Goten Milhouse vaporised a tree.
In reality Mrs Krabappel sighed but couldn't care less that Bart was sleeping in class. It was his education.
Bart snored.
...
Later Marge and Homer tried to explain to Skinner Bart was deaf when the donkey ate his shorts.
"Oh please. I've a whole album of Bart's previous disabilities..." Skinner explained with a photo album of Bart pranking some time in the past by claiming he was disabled in some way to get out of doing homework.
"Blind Bart." Bart claimed he was blind once.
"Pregnant Bart..." Bart had a false belly pretending to be pregnant.
Oscar screamed freaked out. "You are officially weird!" He yelled at Bart.
"Bart with rabies." There was a photo of him foaming at the mouth.
"And Bart using a wheelchair." The photo was pretty obvious.
Marge seethed. "For your information Principal Skinner, that one was genuine! Bart fractured all of his bones falling into the Springfield Gorge. Then he was in a wheelchair again after breaking his leg, and the third time was when he broke his coccyx."
"Oh okay, so this one maybe the truth, but still! He exposed his buttocks to our flag!" Skinner explained.
Homer laughed at a picture in Bart's file of him pretending he had a train track spike through his head.
"Hehehehe! Kids like trains..." said Homer chuckling.
"I like trains." said the I like trains meme.
"Oh shit!" Homer cursed but suddenly a train plowed through Skinner's office running them all over.
At school everyone was still mad at Bart.
"Hey guys." said Bart.
"Cram it! Iraqi!" Kearney sucker punched Bart in the gut.
Bart grunted.
"Hey! No no no Kearney! No open racism about the Middle East! You're encouraging Oscar..." said Hugo annoyed.
"Die terrorist mother fuckers! Diiiiiieeee!" Oscar was chasing some Iraqi or Afghani or Pakistani kids while brandishing a knife.
...
The family then went for a drive taking their vaccine booster or booster shots kittens with them.
(Kittens mewling)
"Haaaaaauuuwwww! Kitten! Kitten! Kitten! Kitten!" Oscar squealed while playing with his vaccine booster kitten he was bribed with.
Bart sighed embarrassed by Oscar's squealing.
Hugo was annoyed and lacking a kitten bribe.
"Hugo it's your fault you decided to eat your kitten..." Bart sighed.
"WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU EAT A KITTEN!?" Oscar yelled startling the kittens.
"Oz you know Hugo more than I do. He's a total nut job! Why'd ya think he ate a kitten?!"
"It's a perfect day today. A little to perfect..." said Lisa.
"Every Movie ever reference! But particularly Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: Secrets of the Ooze." said Oscar.
Lisa winced.
"You're right! Mom and Dad are gonna sell us to a car manufacturer to be crash test dummies!" said Bart.
"Coooooool!" said Oscar. Um sure...
"Please be Volvo..." said Lisa. I was hoping she would want to die testing a hybrid. You know, green energy etc...
However they were getting another vaccine shot. The ones in the opening were for one particular disease. Um... Tetanus and Diphtheria. This is their Typhoid vaccine.
They winced when they saw heavy SWAT troopers drag Noah's dumb Antivaxxer mom kicking and screaming into the vaccine centre.
"Nooooooo! My body! My choice!" She ranted and screeched like a Karen.
"Oh no! More shots!" Bart groaned.
The kids screamed. "Aaaaaaaaaagh!"
"Ahehehehe! Welcome to Hell..." said Dr Hibbert. The kids screamed. "man Avenue Medical Plaza!"
The Simpson kids were a bit relieved that was just the name of the vaccine medical centre.
"Awwwwwww! I wanted to go to Hell..." said Oscar. Okay...
"Oscar..." Marge sighed exasperated.