J

The ride to the motel was a lot more energetic than I imagined it to be. As soon as we hit the freeway and Ten was sure we hadn't been spotted or followed, the guys changed.

And I mean…changed.

The radio blasted Taylor Swift, Ariana Grande, and Olivia Rodrigo hits while they all sang at the top of their lungs. The windows were rolled down, the dry desert air flowing in and blowing my hair all around.

They sang loudly, and proudly…and they knew every lyric.

I looked at each of them, leaning in front of me, and turning around to stare at the back. They had no shame. I wondered if they were always like this, if between the dodging of bullets and slew of illegal activities they were involved in if this was just them. Carefree man-children living and loving their lives, while loving their women and kids.

Even Lisa seemed relaxed next to me. Her hand rested easily on my thigh. She wasn't squeezing, just holding it like it was my hand, like there was nothing else she wanted to be doing rather than touching me.

Admittedly, this wasn't how I saw our first trip away without the kids. I saw us taking off on the back of her bike to some small little beach town up north where no one had ever heard of her club, where they weren't scared of the patches she wore. We'd stay in a sleepy bed and breakfast and spend all our time making love and riding around on her bike.

This is not that.

I had no idea how the rest of the trip was going to go, what would happen when we got to the hotel or how tomorrow would go during the exchange.

It was dangerous; that was the only thing I was sure of. I also knew without a doubt Lisa would never let anything happen to me. She'd put herself in harm's way, take a million bullets for me if it meant keeping me safe.

What she didn't seem to understand was I'd do the same for her, and double down on that if it meant keeping my kids safe too.

I leaned against her, resting my head on her shoulder. Her hand abandoned my thigh and warped around my shoulders, pulling me into her. It wasn't long before I fell asleep against her, despite the obnoxious singing of the rest of the guys.

--

When I woke up, I was being carried.

"Shh," Lisa whispered. "I'm just bringing you to our room."

I blinked my eyes open, unable to believe I slept the entire way. I must have been more exhausted than I imagined. That wasn't surprising. With all the stress going on, even the moments I was asleep, they were restless and filled with worry.

Lisa opened the door, still cradling me in her arms. The hotel room wasn't anything special. In fact, I was sure it was one of those places that rented rooms by the hour. I cringed to think about what was on the sheets, but none of that mattered now that I was alone with Lisa. It also stood to reason that I'd slept in dirtier places–like Taehyung's bed.

Lisa set me down on the bed and then did a search of the room, going so far as to check out both windows before making sure the curtains were drawn and the door was deadbolted.

"Come here," I called to her.

There was worry in her eyes as she turned to me, but she smiled at me too. I opened my arms, lifting them off the bed. She didn't waste the invitation, climbing into the bed with me, resting her head on my chest and letting me wrap my arms around her. I could feel her blow out her breath as she took slow, deep breaths.

"Are you worried?" I asked her.

"Of course I am," she whispered. "You could be in danger."

"I know you won't let anything happen to me."

"He'll get her hands on you over my dead body," she growled.

I ran my hands up her back, over the leather of her cut, knowing I was the only one allowed to touch it until my hands got to her hair. I scraped my nails against her scalp, knowing how much she loved it.

I had so many questions about what was going to happen tomorrow. If the plan needed to change based on what happened at the clubhouse. I didn't ask though.

Instead, I tilted her head, and sought her lips. She met them willingly, brushing her own against mine softly. It was slow, sensual…different from the way she usually kissed me. But it was perfect.

She shifted, rolling off me slightly so not all her weight was resting on me as her hand slid up to my face to cup it.

I tried to deepen the kiss, eager for more of her, but she pulled away, nipping at my lips until I relented and then she kissed me again. I melted into her, sinking deeper between her body and the mattress while her tongue worked along mine languidly, like she has all the time in the world to kiss me.

I wanted her to. I wanted this to be the reality of tonight and tomorrow, just her and I in a grungy motel room with nothing but time on our side.

That wasn't what we had though.

When I went to deepen the kiss again, she let me. Opening her mouth in invitation and granting me control for the briefest moment as I curled my tongue around her, not stopping until a moan tore from her throat.

Her hand slid up my body, dancing slowly over my skin. It felt like she was touching me skin to skin, without the layers between us. Her hand only stopped once it got to my throat, squeezing until I broke the kiss.

"I don't have my knife," she whispered.

She had a knife on her. She always did. She didn't have the right knife to use to cut me up while she pulled orgasm after orgasm from my body.

"I don't care."

I hoped she didn't either.

Lisa rolled, taking me with her until she was on her back and I was straddling her hips. I could feel how hard she was through her pants already, I rolled my hips on top of her. She stared up at me, so much love written on her face.

She didn't have to tell me how she felt about me. She hadn't said the words since I showed back up in her life, but I knew how she felt about me. There was no denying it. I pulled my shirt over my head, leaving me in just a bra.

When I rolled my hips again, she groaned, half sitting to pull off her cut and t-shirt, leaving her naked from the waist up, tattoos and abs on display for me.

I bent over her body kissing her jaw, down her neck until I got to her chest while her hands roamed all over my body.

All I wanted was her. I didn't need the knife. I didn't need any foreplay. I was already wet enough for her, just the anticipation of having her inside me enough to get my body going. I just wanted to ride her. To own her the way she owned me.

I slid down her body until I was sitting low on her thighs, my hands going to her belt. I had it undone and her pants released, down just enough to free her cock in seconds.

I had to climb off the bed to get the rest of my clothes off. Lisa just laid there, staring at me, not ashamed of how she was taking me in.

"This what you want?" she asked, holding her cock in her hand as I climbed back onto the bed and straddled her.

"Yes," I moaned my answer as I slid down her cock.

"Ah, fuck," she grunted. "Didn't even touch you and you're fucking dripping for me."

I didn't have a reply. She knew it was the truth and so did I.

Her hands moved to my hips, resting them there, letting me rock my hips, grind myself against her. I moaned loudly.

"They're gonna hear you," she groaned. "Gonna hear every sound you make froM me while I fuck this cunt."

"Oh god, Lisa," I cried.

"It's not the clubhouse. The walls are paper fucking thin."

Her words only made me moan louder.

"That's right, baby. You want them to hear don't you? You loved when I fucked you in front of them. Loved that they got to see the things I do to you."

She repeated the word love over and over again, and blurting it out to her was on the tip of my tongue, but while I was riding her wasn't when I wanted to say it for the first time…again. So many years had gone by it felt like the first time all over again.

"Answer me," she demanded. Before she could slapped her four fingers against my clit, making me cry out even louder. My hands dug into her chest as I switched from grinding and rolling my hips on top of her to bouncing. The bed hit the wall. There was no way whoever was in the next room didn't know what we were doing.

"Yes. Fuck, I want them to hear."

"Then get louder, baby."

She rolled us so I was on my back, legs wrapped around her. The bare skin of my calf rubbed against her jeans. She was barely naked, still mostly clothed while she fucked me.

Her hand grabbed the headboard, the other under my leg, pushing me further open for her.

"Deeper," I begged.

Lisa groaned, and rolled her hips into me, burying herself as far inside me as she could possible get.

"Oh fuck. Just like that. Yes!"

"Fucking take it," she growled.

I am.

The headboard rattled harder. I could hear the sounds she made every time her cock thrust into me. Her pupils were blown so wide the brown of her eyes was barely visible.

It was so fucking good, but there was part of me that missed the knife, missed the sting of the blade as I was about to come for her.

The leg she had her hand on moved as she guided it to her shoulder, turning me a little so I was laying a little on my side, but still enough on my back to look straight at her.

"Oh my god."

The new angle was…spectacular. And by the look on her face, she knew it.

Skin slapped against skin. She looked gorgeous, even in the awful lighting of the hotel room.

"I'm going to come," I told her.

"Good. Come all over my cock," she demanded.

My back arched, and my mouth opened.

"Loudly," she demanded.

She loved that they could hear me too.

"Lisa!" I cried as I came, my entire body shaking.

She wasn't done though. She didn't even let my orgasm ebb before I was rolled again, back on top of her. "Ride me until I'm filling you with my cum," she said, hands cupping my chest.

It took me a minute of just sitting on top of her with her cock inside me before I was recovered enough to ride her. But as soon as I was, all I wanted was for her to come, to fill me up. That way, no matter what happened tomorrow, if I had to go back to Taehyung, it would be with another man's mark inside me.

"Fuck, I'm close," she warned me.

I wasn't sure if it was the chaos of what tomorrow would bring, or how much I loved her in that moment, but I found myself begging for the thing I wanted all my life, since we were just teenagers.

With my eyes locked on her, I whispered the words, knowing she'd hear them, "Get me pregnant."

Her eyes widened, hands digging into my hips. She held me down while she thrust into me, the words sending her over the edge, and spiraling out of control.

I came again when she did, crying out her name while she moaned mine while she filled me with her cum.

My mouth fell open.

I should say something, but I didn't know what.

All she did was grab my neck and drag me down, sealing it with a kiss.