'''Mona Leaves Us''' Mr Burns concocts another evil plan to get rid of Mona and Bart misbehaves on the bus because a gremlin is attacking again so Skinner has him sat next to Uter who offers him German sweets.
== Plot ==
Mr Burns is bored watching the security cameras.
"Sir, what's wrong?" Smithers asked.
"Oh Smithers. Things are just not the same without that oaf Simpson to torment and put down with insults about how he'll never amount to anything..." said Mr Burns. "I just haven't been the same since he left. Nothing could make me happy more than taking everything from him and watching him forced to work for me everyday..."
"What about that time you crippled that Irish man when you were just a boy?" Smithers asked.
Mr Burns laughed hysterically. "Oh that crippled Irish man! Oh!" He had a flashback of himself as a young boy driving dodgems. He rammed into an Irish man who was painting the fence of the dodgem arena.
"Why you!" The Irish man was about to yell at him but suddenly realised who he was about to yell at. "Ah! Master Burns! Eh feel free to keep smashing into me! There's a good lad!"
Young Burns did so while giggling.
"Ow! Ah! Oh lord have mercy! Oh me Jesus!" the Irish worker cried as young Burns rammed and smashed him with his dodgem car.
In the present Mr Burns continued laughing constantly while doing things such as writing documents, having a bath and even sleeping.
Eventually he stopped while having breakfast.
"Oh Smithers, what was I laughing at?" Oh! No I remember, that crippled Irish fellow! Ohohohoho!" Mr Burns asked before remembering what he found funny and laughed even more.
Smithers sighed as he served Mr Burns some tea.
"But aside from that, I still felt pleasure from Homer Simpson's pain..." said Mr Burns drinking his morning tea.
"That's because you're a big jerk..." Oscar snapped while typing up the story.
"Do you have to be here you loathsome urchin?!" Mr Burns asked annoyed.
"Yes otherwise there's no opening scene..." said Oscar.
Mr Burns watched the security feed.
"Smithers, who the devil is that blob?" Mr Burns asked.
"That's Alan Jefferson, we hired him to replace Homer Simpson after he quit." said Smithers.
"First you forget names, then you forget faces." Mr Burns sighed.
Smithers sighed with sympathy.
Homer's workstation.
Alan Jefferson was working at the console. Not much was different between him and Homer except he know what he was supposed to be doing and worked a lot harder.
...
Meanwhile at Springfield elementary school Milhouse has a space lunch with a puzzle on it. The answer is that the glyphs are numbers drawn at a mirror so they are mirrored on a line of symmetry.
"Found it!" said Martin.
"Done! said Bart.
"Easy!" said Milhouse.
"How did I do?" said Nelson.
"Excellent Nelson!" said Martin.
However Lisa was stumped by the puzzle. She couldn't find the answer because she was over thinking it.
"The answer is 8 Lisa... it's a mirror puzzle..." said Hugo.
"Let me solve this for my self!" Lisa said annoyed.
"You got stuck in this years ago!" Hugo clenched his fists.
Ralph was um being Ralph as usual.
"Do you like kittens?" He blurted out.
"Um uh well..." Bart stammered.
"That's an odd question to ask Ralph." said Hugo.
"No it's not! And I wuv kittens! They're so cuuuuuute!" Oscar squealed.
"Ralph is just being himself today. Unlike that time Oscar got him to read Catcher in the Rye." Lisa sighed.
At Home Ralph was reading through a book. He was consumed by the urge to kill John Lennon.
"Kill John Lennon... Kill John Lennon... Kill John Lennon..." He took up a knife and headed out to kill John Lennon presumably...
"Of course I managed to snap Ralph out of his trance when I informed him that John Lennon was already dead." said Oscar.
Bart winced.
...
Elsewhere Homer was being a hippy again on the farm. After some begging his mom and Seth and Munchy went with him in her friends hippy wagon on a freak out.
"Okay but after this we have to get back to work making vegetable drinks." said Seth and Munchy.
However his freak out stopped at the school.
Bart was embarrassed to see his dad get out and enter the school to bring merriment.
"Please! Not in here!" Bart buried his head in his arms.
Hugo grimaced exasperated.
However Homer came in wearing a jester hat and yelling in a megaphone about bringing down the establishment and giving everyone bead necklaces.
Oscar was quite happy to receive a beaded necklace.
Homer then didn't like Seth and Munchy's choice in hippy music.
"Oh now come on! We're not gonna freak anyone out with that music!" He ejected the tape from their radio. "Luckily I bought some of my own music to freak people out with. He put a tape in the radio.
Suddenly Uptown Girl rang throughout the school.
(Uptown Girl playing)
Oscar screamed in horror and fled.
Marge was not happy with Homer for going on another one of his freak outs.
"Homer stop going on these hippy crusades!" Marge groaned.
"Down with the establishment! Make love! Not war!" said Hippy Homer in his poncho.
He drank from his drinking bladder thing and put the radio on. It played White Rabbit.
"One pill makes you small..."
Marge sighed exasperated.
Bart home from school winced as he heard White Rabbit playing.
"Let me guess... Dad's in his hippy phase again..."
Marge sighed and nodded.
Hugo came in drinking a carton of juice with a straw.
"Uh-oh! Here comes my evil twin brother! I've got to get out of here!" said Bart fleeing.
Hugo smirked evilly at him.
...
That evening Grampa was having his hair cut. However he kept being fussy and wanted a haircut like Humphrey Bogart.
"If you apologised to Louie you could have your hair cut how you like..." said Marge.
"I'll never apologise!" said Abe
Lisa came in while pondering Milhouse's lunch box puzzle.
"Grampa am I growing dumb?" Lisa asked.
"I'm afraid so sweetie, it's the Simpsons gene you see, it affects all Simpson kids. I'll prove it!" said Grampa after Marge left to have a break away from Abe's nagging and request for impossible haircuts.
"Oh stop with that crap already Dad! There's no such thing as the Simpsons gene..." Homer groaned.
"Quiet you melon head!" said Grampa.
Grampa took Lisa up to the attic and showed her old report cards.
"Hey get down from there! That's where I keep my junk and um an embarrassing secret that no one must ever know about!" Homer yelled.
"Dad everyone knows about Hugo..." said Bart.
"Your Dad used to be as smart as a monkey. Then the Simpsons gene kicked in..." said Grampa.
Homer's grades got worse and worse.
Hugo groaned.
"Sweet zombie Jesus! What the heck is that?" Grampa gasped.
"That's just Hugo, Grampa." said Lisa.
"Then there's your brother's! His too were promising until the Simpson gene took hold..." Grampa explained.
Bart's grades got worse as the smiley faces on them from his teachers turned into angry faces then skulls.
"Wait! Just cos that happened to Dad and Bart doesn't mean it will happen to me!" said Lisa. "Will it?"
"Sure! But doesn't mean you can't live a long and pointless life!" said Grampa before carelessly shutting her in the attic. Yes he shut her in the attic...
Lisa looked around nervously as the attic was dark and she could hear Hugo breathing. He was glaring at her.
"Do you mind? I'm plotting up here." said Hugo.
"Well Grampa locked me up here! And I'm sc-sc-scared of the dark!" said Lisa.
Hugo rolled his eyes.
...
"Abe! Did you lock Lisa up in the attic?!" Marge scolded him.
"D'oh! I thought she was the kid you have to keep locked up! You know the screwy one!" said Abe.
"Abe, that was Hugo, Bart's brother! And we're not allowed to do that anymore because we got reported to social services! And besides our accuser is right! It's cruel!" said Marge as she let a frightened Lisa out of the attic. She was traumatised.
Lisa then started explaining Grampa's spiel about the Simpsons gene.
"The Simpsons gene?! That old bungus?!" said Mona. "Abe, Homer's grades slipped because he got a crayon stuck up his nose! Bart's are because he deliberately acts up in class! He's actually rather smart when he wants to be!"
"And I'm sure Mona lived a long and successful life!" said Marge.
"Well, until I was on the run I had aspirations of being a teacher!" said Mona.
"Oh that's lovely Mona!" said Marge.
"Yeah Grandma!" said Lisa.
Suddenly Lisa found the answer to Milhouse's puzzle.
"Eureka! They're all numbers from one to seven but are reflected in a mirror! The next is eight!" said Lisa.
"Number eight, (belches). Number eight, (belches). Number eight, (belches)." Oscar was playing Barney's weird demo tape for the B Sharps.
"Uh, even Ralph solved it before you Lis..." Bart tried to discourage her but it didn't work.
There was a gremlin in the cafeteria.
"That's really something..." said Hugo as the Treehouse of Horror IV gremlin was causing utter chaos.
"Nah I'll recall a real "Something"..." said Oscar.
The Pickles house, Dil's bedroom.
Tommy looks unimpressed when he finds a garden gnome in bed with Dil.
"I can explain!" Dil cried.
"You better..." said Oscar...
Back in the Simpsons.
Hugo winced exasperated.
...
Mr Burns was ranting about wanting to get rid of Mona. Because he is a douchebag.
"Smithers get my folders on evil plans." said Mr Burns.
"Yes sir." said Smithers.
"Curse that Mona..." said Mr Burns.
At the Simpsons Oscar was playing pretend tea with Lisa but using his real tea set and real tea.
"Oz no! No hot liquids!" said Lisa.
"Oz! Children do not handle hot tea!" Marge said in a serious tone.
"I'll be fine... Aaaaagh!" He burnt himself.
Marge gasped.
"More sugar for your tea?" Teddy, Oscar's living teddy bear asked Lisa.
"Begone clothes! Embrace freedom!" Homer disrobed in the hall and ran off naked.
"Oh. Oh! This is more awkward than when we had lunch with The Elephant Man." said Teddy embarrassed.
Lisa winced exasperated.
Marge and Homer's bedroom.
Marge has administered first aid and has bandaged up Oscar's arm.
"That's why hot liquids are dangerous bumpkin." said Marge.
"Oh I got tea on my Mypad..." said Oscar.
"if you had the classic accouterments of a writer." said Abe.
"Gin, night sweats and a bad marriage?" Oscar asked.
"I was talking about Marge's old manual typewriter. It always used to inspire her when she was in college. Yes I maybe senile but I do recall adventures we've had. I think it's still up in the attic." said Abe.
Hugo growled and moaned from within the attic.
"On second thoughts..." said Abe concerned.
"I'm not scared of Hugey. I'll go up and get it..." said Oscar.
Oscar went up to the attic.
Hugo was eating fish heads and didn't notice or even care as Oscar took a typewriter.
== Plot 2 ==
At Moe's, Moe was polishing his beer glasses.
A snake slithered in. Once when Homer quit going to church, Moe explained he had declared himself as a snake handler as his religion.
Moe watched the snake. He takes it as a sign from the Snake Lady of the Sky (who is actually a young, beautiful, long-haired blonde woman).
Moe's paganism is hilarious...
"I once saw the ghost of Mr Krabs..." said Oscar wearing a sweater with a smiling Winnie the Pooh head on the front. He got a text from Ralph Wiggum. Unlike Bart who disliked Ralph until he found out his dad had the town's master key, or Lisa who just wanted to "be friends" after his brief relationship with her... Oscar was best friends with Ralph.
"I have to go Moe." Oscar left to meet Ralph.
Moe shrugged and mopped up his bar area where customers sit at.
...
Oscar met Ralph outside his house.
"Hi Oscar. Uh oh! I made a puddle in my pants." said Ralph. He wet himself.
"That's okay Ralph. I can't hold until I've found a bathroom or noticed I need to find one. That's why I am wearing diapers today." said Oscar pulling up the front of his diaper to show Ralph.
Ralph was very accepting and kind. After all he had accidents. Why should he mock others for the same thing.
He smiled accepting Oscar's problem holding himself.
Like many children, Oscar likes to be a clown, and the school principal even makes him an honorary member of the Clowns Anonymous Support Group.
"Oscar no one likes clowns... I like Krusty though..." said Bart.
Anyhoo to show that he loved clowns, Oscar was wearing a big round shiny rubber red clown nose on his nose. He squeezed his clown nose and it honked.
This episode we are introduced to Oscar's pet ferret, Stanley. A ferret was crawling about Oscar, down his back and up again in laps across his sweater clad person like he was a tree to climb on.
Oh Wait we introduced Stanley in Season four.
Oscar shrugged.
"I really wanted a naked mole rat voiced by Nancy Cartwright." said Oscar.
Bart throttled Oscar annoyed at him for referencing Rufus from Kim Possible.
Oscar sometimes has a hard time in school, but he does his best.
Bart hated school and just liked mucking about.
At the plant.
"Sir, I've prepared your year-end finance report." said Smithers.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah... I have more important things to do. Like get revenge upon Mona Simpson! Gahahahaha!" Mr Burns laughed maniacally.
Smithers frowned.
...
Mr Burns set up the perfect trap. A book signing on her memoirs.
She attended it and signed with an alias.
"Mona Simpson. Forging an official document is a felony." said Mr Burns smugly as she was arrested.
Homer cried as she was taken away.
"Don't worry Homer. I won't let her get taken away!" said Oscar. "Right after I go clothes shopping."
The clothes store, kid section.
Avery Texan, Rich Texan's gay grandson was moseying about.
"Avery can you please hit on someone else." Oscar sighed.
"I'd love to but...nobody should have to pick out a sweater alone." said Avery. He picked out clothes and held them up touching Oscar to get a vague guess as to if they would fit him or not.
"What do you think you're doing?" Oscar asked sharply.
"Combining fashion and function. This works much better than the sweater." said Avery.
"GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!" Oscar snapped offended.
Avery fled.
"Come on sweetie let's pay for you..." said Oscar talking to the gaudy woolly sweater with rhombuses on it that he was buying. Rhombuses!
Then he got back to the task at hand. Rescuing Mona.
As the police truck took Mona and several female prisoners to jail Oscar caught up on a motorbike wearing leather and black sunglasses.
"Uh Eddie is that a kid riding a motorcycle?" said Lou.
Oscar threw a tear gas canister into the driver's cabin forcing Eddie and Lou to bail. He got in wearing a gas mask and drove the police truck elsewhere.
Mona was happy with Oscar's rescue.
"Are you always this dashing and daring?" she asked.
"Uh... Bart's probably already mentioned this but whether I'm helping him get his own way or correcting some injustice I'm a little hot headed and uh tend to shoot my way out of situations..." said Oscar.
"Oh dear..." said Mona. She really didn't want him having to go on the run as well.
"Oscar, just bail. I'll get us girls to freedom." said Mona.
"No can do lady. I promised Homer I'll get you free and safe. And that's what I intend to do. I'm taking you to England." said Oscar.
...
At home Homer was upset his mother had been taken from him again.
At school Bart was on a school trip on the bus but he saw a gremlin on the side of the bus again.
"Milhouse! Look out the window!" Bart begged him.
"Nuh uh! If I do that I subject myself to wedgies, wet willies or the dreaded rear admiral!" said Milhouse.
Bart anxiously watched the gremlin tear apart the bus. He had to stop it.
He disturbed Otto.
"You see the gremlin right Otto?" Bart asked.
"Oh sure, I see him!" said Otto. He rammed into an AMC Gremlin driven by Hans Moleman.
"Oh dear!" said Moleman he crashed into a tree and caught light.
Bart saw that the gremlin avoided being smooshed by hiding in the wheel cavity. It made a throat cut gesture at him.
"Everybody there's a monster on the side of the bus!" said Bart.
Everyone screamed and looked out the window.
The gremlin had hidden somewhere.
"There's no monster!" said Nelson.
"You're deceptive!" said Ralph.
"Bart stop scaring your classmates and sit down!" said Krabappel.
Bart started creeping Milhouse out by asking if he believed him. "You believe me right? Dear, sweet Milhouse?"
"Uh, you're kinda creeping me out! I'm really gonna sit uh next to that foreign exchange student!" said Milhouse. He sat next to Uter.
"Ah Guten tag! May I offer you a bite of my Candy bar? I also have a bag of Almond Joy Joys!" said Uter offering sweets, including Joy Joys with iodine!
However Bart was going on about the gremlin again and scaring everyone.
"That's it Simpson! Go and sit next Uter! Milhouse return to your usual seat." Skinner yelled.
Bart was sat next to Uter and his hands were tied so he couldn't move. Uter offered him a lick of a candy cane he had been sucking. Bart reluctantly licked it and grimaced in disgust.
"So Uter, now we're friends, how about untying me?" said Bart.
"Oh sure!" said Uter untying him.
However Otto saw too late as a police bus pulled out and crashed into it.
...
The lady convicts all broke out and escaped. Including Mona and Oscar.
Bart surveyed the damage to find a dead gremlin crushed by the impact. He showed it to everyone.
"Um, I guess we owe you an apology Simpson." said Skinner.
"Damn right you do..." said Bart.
He hailed a taxi home from the crash site and encountered um...
"Hugo?" Hugo his twin was at home.
"Your one and only evil twin." said Hugo. Yes I know the twist was that actually he's good and Bart was the bad one...
"I know. I never forget a face, especially when it's mine. I, I thought you were locked up for eternity for pushing me into that volcano." said Bart stammering. Coooool! When did that happen?!
"You're the author... you're supposed to know..." said Bart.
"I had a good lawyer. I'm still in jail, but I get reduced sentence if I do community service. Did you gain weight?" said Hugo.
"You are so evil." said Bart bitterly.
"I know." Hugo smirked.
The attic.
Hugo has tied Bart to the pool table again.
"Ah the Oo' surgically reattach us thing..." Bart groaned.
"Um aren't you gonna scream in terror?" Hugo asked.
"Once you've been tied to a pool table by your psychotic twin brother it kinda loses it's novelty the following twelve times..." said Bart.
"Look the sooner I get us reattached, the sooner I can relax and feed my pigeon-rat..." said Hugo.
The pigeon-rat squeaked, cooed and flapped its wings. The rat was right side up scuttling about with the pigeon that was sewn to it back to back unable to do much except flap frantically.
"You won't get away with this!" Bart yelled.
"That is so cliched..." said Hugo. He got out his ball of thread and a needle.
...
Homer was still upset over his mom when he got a phone call. It was Oscar.
"I'm calling from Heathrow. Mona's safe in England. I'll be looking after her for a while until things cool off over there." said Oscar.
"I don't know, this phone call better not cost me..." said Homer.
"Homer..." Oscar sighed.
Mona was put on. "I can't stand to be apart from you son! But I will return someday." said Mona.
"Oh and Homer, when she does. Don't blame her for leaving you again. It's not her fault. It's-" Oscar explained.
"Yeah I know, it's old man Burns! Well I've had enough! I'm not working for him anymore so I don't care what he says or does. It's payback time!" said Homer.
"That's the spirit Homer." said Mona.
They then put the phone down.
Oscar drinking pop belched.
"Oscar excuse yourself!" Marge told him off.
"Pardon!" said Oscar in a loud belch. "A, B, C..."
Marge frowned.
However Mr Burns angry Mona escaped yet again turns his attention to Seth and Munchy's allotment. He hires goons to burn the allotment.
They begin smashing up and burning things. However Homer arrives with a little help. A parade of Globex helicopters!
"Simpson!" Mr Burns growls.
Hank Scorpio instructs his goons to fight and kill Mr Burns' goons. They soon eliminate all of them.
"You'll pay for this Simpson! I swear! You'll rue this day!" Mr Burns rants.
"Take a hike old man!" yelled Homer.
Seth and Munchy didn't know what to say.
"Uh..." said Seth.
...
Then the Simpsons had to head up to the attic to rescue Bart from Hugo.
In the attic Hugo laughs maniacally while dressed as a mad scientist. Bart is tied to the pool table with his shirt off.
Bart asks Hugo if they can go back in time to when they were toddlers.
"Nooooo..." Hugo said grimacing.
So instead Hugo takes them to the park. Then Oscar decided there was a giant dog there.
"Hopefully Milo from my Jumanji fanfiction stories." said Oscar.
Milo was a white cartoon mixture Schnauzer with spots that looked like Junior from Marvin comics. When giant. Several smaller characters like Bart and Oscar felt compelled to stuff their hands up his nose and get stuck in his snot.
Milo winced.
Baby Oscar gurgled honking his big wet shiny black nose.
== Plot 3 ==
And also Mrs Krabappel's missing husband who ran off with a waitress from Hooters or died, was principal of Springfield Elementary before Seymour Skinner. Or if in an alternate universe of season 15 if he did marry Edna because she was always on top in bed, of you know what I mean, hehehehe... He would take her surname not the other way round.
"Okay..." said Bart. Anyway this madness could easily be the anaesthetic making him woozy.
"No you idiot! Those are colour forms!" Hugo could be heard yelling at someone. Bart was already drifting out of consciousness. So he didn't see who.
"Sorry master..." said a voice.
Oscar's omnipresent vision showed us it was Igor, Hugo's lab assistant hunchback being yelled at by Hugo over him putting fridge magnets instead of a chloroform soaked rag on Bart's face.
In his drugged mind Bart recalled a picnic the family went on. Hugo thought it would be cute to sew some poor squirrels together.
Memory Bart winced as he watched Hugo sew squirrels together.
In reality The Simpsons bursted into the attic.
"Oh god not again! You little um mutant!" Homer half yelled half cried in despair.
"Homer zip it. I'll handle this." said Oscar. He took out a blowpipe and blew a tranquilliser dart at Hugo knocking him out. "Sorry Hugey, but you're being bad again."
Marge roused Bart.
"He's Under anaesthetic. It will wear off soon." said Lisa.
"The um other boy is in for it now..." said Homer.
"Stanley, kiss kiss." said Oscar. His ferret hissed and latched onto Homer's nose biting him. Homer screamed and flailed about.
"You have a ferret?" Lisa asked.
"The author thinks so." said Oscar.
Lisa winced.
...
Homer was still upset about Mona leaving.
He cheered himself up by playing Uptown Girl loudly throughout the house.
Oscar screamed and fled.
Bart winced exasperated.
Outside.
Oscar went to Ralph's house and rang the bell.
"Hi Oscar." said Ralph.
"Shall I come in or shall we go out?" Oscar asked.
"I don't see why I can't go out." said Ralph.
"Uh Ralph... maybe put some shoes and socks on first..." said Oscar. Ralph was attempting to go out in bare feet.
"Okay." said Ralph going inside to put his shoes and socks on.
"Hmmmm... He took that better than Hugo."
At home. Hugo was throwing a tantrum again over wearing shoes.
He ran about on his hands and feet like a dog growling incoherently.
Marge sighed.
"He should really be in remedial classes with Ralph..." said Bart.
"I don't dream about giant purple cats!" Hugo yelled at him.
Bart winced.
In England.
Mona made friends with a British family wearing sweaters and had oysters with them. She mentioned this in a letter to Homer.
Homer sobbed while reading the letter.
...
Oscar was in the park with Ralph.
Bart arrived.
"Kallae kistnae..." Oscar hissed in gibberish.
Bart winced.
"Do you need something Bart? Booze? Another piercing..." Oscar smirked.
"No. I'm here to say you were right about Mr Burns the last time he terrorised Grandma. You wanna give into your anger and go Rambo. go ahead..." Bart sighed.
Oscar smirked. "I will later. Right now I'm on my Leapster with a Ralph on his."
Bart winced as Ralph had a Leapster electronic game book learning his maths.
Elsewhere.
Homer was a tree in Lisa's school play.
He waved at Lisa.
However Link kept insisting he was the Deku tree.
Homer groaned as the mute elf boy prayed to him.
At home.
Oscar was putting on camouflage and packing his guns. He took an M16 and two uzis.
"Hmmmmm... Revenge doesn't solve anything..." Marge frowned.
"Yes it will. That ogre will learn to learn to leave Mona alone." said Oscar.
Marge sighed.
"Speaking of ogres. I can now make references to Shrek..." said Oscar.
Bart groaned exasperated.