'''Do the Bard Man!''' Playing around with his brother Hugo's inventions Bart is transported into the lives of his historical counter parts, Mozart, Hamlet and Prince Edward Tudor.
Mozart is poorly with pneumonia will he pull through? Hamlet trolls his dead father by digging up his skeleton to draw on it and quote alas poor Yorick. Despite Milhouse being Yorick. While other Shakespeare characters act about. And Prince Edward struggles with his psychotic twin brother Hugo Tudor and keeping his homicidal, malevolent sister Mary off of the throne! And Oscar the sarcastic jester...
== Plot ==
The Simpsons were having lunch in the kitchen. Homer was taking a call from England from his Mom who was hiding out there with Oscar.
"So how is England Mom? Uh huh? Uh huh.. yeah they do drive on the wrong side of the road..." said Homer on the kitchen phone.
"Homer are you taking a world wide call!? Those are extremely expensive!" said Marge.
"I have a good reason for making this call! I'm making a call to my mommy..." said Homer acting like a kid.
"Oh Homer..." said Mona on the phone to him.
Lisa frowned. "Do not compare me to Bart's shenanigans with Australia! My calls to Brazil were genuine too!"
"Sorry Mom but this call is costing me a lot of money and the kids are calling me a hypocrite for making phone calls to other countries. Goodbye." said Homer putting down the phone.
Marge hmmmmmed.
"I miss my mommy..." Homer sighed.
Marge comforted him.
Bart was trying to trick Lisa into eating meat.
"Bart if you're quite finished with your lunch you can take Hugo's up to him." said Marge.
Bart shivered in disgust and fear. "Mom do I have to? Why can't Dad do it?"
"Just do as you're told brat!" Homer scolded him.
Bart muttered angrily as he took the bucket of fish heads from Marge and went upstairs.
The cat tried to get the fish heads.
"No Snowball II, these are for Hugo." said Bart pushing the cat away. She hissed at him.
Bart climbed the ladder into the attic. Hugo was in there laughing maniacally while experimenting.
"Mom asked me to bring you up your lunch. Fish heads, your favourite..." said Bart.
"Thanks bro." said Hugo. Bart was already leaving him to his science thing... "Hey you don't have to leave yet, stay for a bit!"
"Sorry but whenever you ask me to hang out with you it always results with you tying me to the old pool table and trying stitch us back together again..." said Bart.
"Not always..." Hugo smirked. "Look I found this picture frame where if you look into it just right Dr Hibbert punches you straight in the face!" said Hugo holding a picture frame.
"Hugo I'm not falling for that..." said Bart.
"D'oh! A wise guy eh...?" Hugo groaned.
"Look there's nothing up here except Mom and Dad's old junk! If you want to lurk up here fine but I really just want to go to my room..." Bart sighed.
"Wait! I've got this really cool new invention!" said Hugo.
"It better not do anything evil..." Bart sighed.
"No... and that's a big disappointment for me... it is a virtual reality helmet that lets you experience the life of any famous person in history!" said Hugo.
"So it's a boring Lisa invention..." said Bart.
"Come on... Yiu can be Mozart with it..." said Hugo,
"Oh cool! Gimme!" said Bart putting the helmet on. It turned on and zapped him.
'''Mozart'''
18th century Salzburg, Austria.
Mozart was poorly in bed. He was very pale and his hair unkempt.
"Hi everybody!" said Dr Nick.
"Hi Dr Nick!" said Mozart's family.
"This boy is very sick! He has too much blood! I prescribe a face full of leeches! Here you go slimy little leeches! Feast on the young boy now!" Dr Nick put Leeches on Mozart's face.
"Thanks doc..." Mozart sighed.
Mozart's family were upset as Mozart was very ill.
"Doctor how bad is my brother? Will he live?" Salaria Mozart asked.
"Not with our crazy primitive medicine! Now to chop off Mozart's legs with this rusty saw!" said Dr Nick.
Mozart screamed.
"Get that mad man out of here!" Marge as Anna Maria Mozart demanded.
Homer as Mozart's dad dragged Dr Nick away. "Bye everybody!" said Dr Nick.
Once the Mozart's left, Salarie making sure she was last so she could make a throat cut gesture at Mozart. This is after Margical History Tour but long before Mozart dies.
Once everybody was gone Oscar came in.
"Hey Oz..." Mozart groaned.
"Hey Wolfy. Man you don't look so good! Are you Ill?" Oscar asked.
Mozart frowned. "Stop calling me that! I prefer to be addressed as Mozart." Mozart said coughing and spluttering. "And yes I'm very ill! Stupid doctor put leeches on my face..."
"Eeeeeeew!" said Oscar removing the leeches. "I'll examine you..."
"No offence but what could you possibly know a doctor doesn't?" said Mozart.
"Open your mouth and say ahhhhh..." said Oscar.
"I have opera singers for that." Mozart clapped his hands and lady opera singers appeared and sang Ahhhhhhhh!
"No your mouth smarty pants..." said Oscar.
Mozart sighed and opened his mouth. Oscar looked inside
"Ugh! Smells like rotten Wienerschnizel!" Oscar groaned pronouncing his Ws as Vs. "I see the problem. You have Pneumonia a serious lung infection,"
"Is it fatal?" Mozart asked.
"Yes but luckily a mad scientist friend of mine from the future invented this vaccine. Oscar jabbed a syringe needle int Mozart's arm and injected him with a powerful vaccine.
"There you should be back up on your feet by tomorrow." said Oscar.
"Thanks for saving me. But why?" Mozart.
"Well, you're not due to die for a long time yet so I haven't mucked up the future. And I just want to rub it in your evil sister's jealous face!" said Oscar.
...
Mozart was soon feeling his old mischievous self again. He was telling people to eat his pantaloons and hitting the harpsichord's keys with violins while playing his symphonies.
"Mozart stop hitting the Harpsichord with your violins!" Mozart's dad told him off.
"But that's my reckless popular style of music and antics that my fans enjoy!" said Mozart.
"No shenanigans today! That new composer Beethoven is putting on a show of his latest symphony in the opera house and I want you on your best behaviour! Understood?!" barked Mozart's dad prodding Mozart's cute little nose. (He's cute because he's played by Bart...)
"Yes Dad..." said Mozart.
"That deaf doorknob?! I'd rather listen to Ludwig Von Koopa!" said Oscar.
The Mozarts groaned at his silly references they didn't understand. Mozart himself rolled his eyes.
...
Salairi was cursing that he brother had mysteriously recovered from his illness and was plotting some new way to ruin his career as a famous composer.
"Ow! Mom! Oscar keeps pulling my ponytail!" Mozart whined from somewhere.
"Oscar stop that!" Anne Maria told him off.
"He's does that to me too when I have one whenever I go back in time." Verne from the Back to the Future cartoon added. As he was in the 18th century he had as part of male fashion of the time, a short ponytail tied with a cute bow. Oscar thought they looked like girls with pretty bows in their hair so he'd pull their ponytails.
"Will you lot keep it down!? I am tryito plot to sabotage my undeserving brother's career!" Salairi yelled.
"Salairi don't be jealous of your brother's fame!" Anne Maria old her off.
"Why is there a Jackson 5 reference in the ball room?!" Oscar said laughing hysterically.
Salairi sighed.
...
Mozart was practising his symphonies with his tutor when he got gassy. He grunted and forced out a massive fart and laughed.
"Mozart! Stop farting!" Mozart's dad scolded him.
Beethoven, played by Nelson, arrived.
"Eeeeeew! Who cut it in here?" Beethoven asked.
Mozart laughed.
"Vamoose the ball room dork! My entourage will be here any moment!" said Beethoven as his servants set up his piano.
"Hey most of your fans are my fans too!" said Mozart preening.
Ladies and mincing men arrived. They swooned at the sight of Beethoven and Mozart.
"Hey this isn't a duet! I said Vamoose Mozart!" Beethoven pushed Mozart away off somewhere.
"Okay! I'm going! Don't push!" Mozart whined.
...
While Beethoven played his symphonies to the townsfolk Mozart was bored waiting for his music room to e vacated. Oscar decided to play some music for him.
"Ah a guitar?" Mozart cheered up. Showing interest in Oscar's guitar.
"Well it's a kind of guitar..." said Oscar. Actually an electric guitar to be exact.
"Will you play for me?" Mozart was fascinated to see if Oscar was musically gifted.
"Sure!" said Oscar. He did a noisy guitar riff. It screeched in deafeningly loud volume.
Mozart immediately stuck his fingers in his ears showing obvious agony from the painfully loud sounds Oscar's Guitar made.
Oscar finished his guitar riff and bowed.
"What in semi quavers was that?!" Mozart yelled.
"That was rock music." said Oscar.
"That was just awful! It hurts my ears!" said Mozart. "Don't you play any other instruments?"
"No. But I really love this cartoon called Oscar's Orchestra. It's about a sentient blue piano in a land where music is forbidden..." Oscar explained being stupid. Mozart rolled his eyes.
...
Meanwhile Nelson as Beethoven asked his fans to make a request for the next song they wanted to here.
"Fifth Symphony!" Eighteenth century Otto yelled.
"I can't hear you!" said Beethoven.
"Fifth Symphony!" Oruro yelled.
"I can't hear you!" said Beethoven.
"Fifth symphony!" Otto yelled.
"No seriously I can't hear you! I think I'm going deaf!" Beethoven yelled.
Mozart sighed. How was Beethoven supposed to play requests if he couldn't hear.
Mozart spent the day teasing his sister by putting a rat down her clothes. Leopold kept making Jackson five references and then...
"Kiss my ass! Kiss my ass!" Mozart was swearing.
"Mutti! Mozart is swearing!" Salaria yelled.
Oscar was astonished Mozart (played by Bart of all people!) was a potty mouth.
"What? Read your history books! I swore a lot!" said Mozart. "Also I like talking about butts and poop a lot."
"Mozart! Watch your language or no party later!" Leopold yelled.
Regardless of his Dad's threats. Mozart has a party and yes at the party he insulted a rival composer when he requested Mozart play one of his symphonies. Mozart farted loudly.
"Mozart!" Leopold scolded him.
One of the many scholars at the party wrote down that Mozart's shrill laughter was like the braying of a Jack ass and someone scraping a cobblestone along piano strings.
"But not a key along piano strings, because that sounds like this." said Oscar. He scraped a key along piano strings. It made the screeching noises of the TARDIS.
Suddenly the TARDIS appeared. The Doctor came out because there was evil afoot in 18th century Salzburg and aliens!
"Salarie's an alien?! Knew it!" said Mozart.
Oscar laughed.
...
Further back in the past or whatever as I lay down some facts.
Mozart when he was 6 sat on the lap of Queen Marie Antoinette. Yes the "Let them eat cake!" Queen who was always in the bath and got beheaded. Back when she was a princess her royal family greatly admired the Mozart's that they were honoured guests and Marie let Mozart as a very young boy sit on her lap.
Also a fact. Mozart while he was 6 asked her to marry him. Obviously that marriage never happened...
Also because of his poop obsession he probably wore diapers under his pantaloons...
Anyway Marie Antoinette did not marry Mozart she married King Louis of France. However at the time he wasn't king. He was a dolphin!
Oscar laughed.
"No you pea brain! He was the Dauphin." Hugo sighed. (A sort of title like Duke etc. Actually it means the eldest son of the current king.)
== Plot 2 ==
Back in modern day Springfield.
Bart takes off the virtual helmet.
"Well ain't that nice, Mozart found a friend. A weird friend at that..." said Bart.
"Want to see who else you were reincarnated from?" asked Hugo grinning.
"Sure. I have nothing better to do today." said Bart.
'''Hamlet'''
Denmark long, long ago!
Hamlet was in a graveyard having dug up his father's skeleton and was drawing on the skull with red ink and a quill. The king's ghost was annoyed at Hamlet and tried to strangle him but couldn't as he was intangible as a ghost.
"Ooooh!" Homer as the King of Denmark's ghost whined.
"Alas poor Yorick, I hardly knew him..." Hamlet was quoting lines he was famous for.
"Did someone call me?" Milhouse as Yorick asked.
Hamlet hastily hid his father's skull. "Uh, no I was just thinking out loud!" said Hamlet.
"Ah a soliloquy." said Yorick.
Hamlet sighed with relief as he left and reburied his father.
Then in the castle.
"What does Marcellus look like?!" Samuel L Jackson yelled.
"What?!" Horatio gasped.
"Does he look like a bitch?!"
"Excuse me?!" Horatio gasped.
"DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH?!" Samuel L Jackson yelled.
"Oz no!" Bart groaned.
...
Meanwhile Claudius plotted a way to get rid of Hamlet. He considers just killing him but thinks that would look too suspicious, two deaths in one family of the only male heirs to the throne just so he can be king. So he decides to exile Hamlet in the middle of the wilderness to die or hopefully be raised by a sentient talking warthog and a meerkat.
"No! No Lion King References!" Bart said in a cloud to the fourth wall.
Claudius vacuumed him up with a mini hand held vacuum cleaner.
Claudius stuffed Hamlet in a sack while he was sleeping.
Hamlet woke up sometime later in the middle of nowhere in a wilderness.
"What the?!" He gasped.
Suddenly Timon and Pumba arrived.
"Hakuna Matata!" they sung.
Hamlet screamed and ran off somewhere. He arrived at Oscar's office and struck him in the back with his sword until he was dead.
"There! No more stupid obscure references!" Hamlet yelled before returning to Denmark somehow.
"From the sublime to the ridiculous is but a step." said Napoleon Bonaparte. Yes he actually said that.
Hamlet seethed because he's from a completely different time period. So it's ridiculous him being in an adaption about Hamlet...
"I love being ridiculous!" Oscar cheered. "Also I'm invincible you jerk!" He yelled at Hamlet.
Back in Denmark Oscar insisted upon Disney's Lion King characters being there.
"Long live the king..." said Scar.
Hamlet groaned.
Also half of Shakespeare's plays seem to be about regicide because the uncle or some guy really wanted to be king so he killed off the king and any heirs.
"I'm killing you Mufasa because you're older and got to be king first." Scar killed Mufasa.
"I'm killing you King Homer so I can be king." said Moe as Claudius. He killed Homer who was the the king of Denmark.
And the same with Richard III and Macbeth etc.
...
It was the day of the festival. Jester Krusty would be on stage performing in front of everyone in the royal court. The perfect opportunity to get his uncle Claudius to confess to murdering his father.
Ophelia was going crazy as usual. "With hi nonny ho! And a hi nonny hey!" She sung nonsense while skipping about the castle halls. Hamlet sweat dropped. Anywhere else in society she'd be locked away in a lunatic asylum but because she was a princess she was allowed to have her freedom and embarrass the royal family of Denmark.
Hamlet sighed and watched the crowds below getting ready for the festival.
Oscar as a wealthy member of the court was was waltzing down the halls of the castle singing Hakuna Matata until Hamlet drew his sword and stabbed him to death off screen. He dusted his hands and went back to observing his royal subjects.
Some moments later he came back from the bathroom to head down to the royal court per his mother's instructions as the festival was about to begin.
However Slimer from the Real Ghostbusters slimed through a wall leaving ectoplasm and was yelling as he flew into Hamlet's face sliming him. Yoric found him lying on the floor with slime splattered across his face and robes.
"Hamlet are you alright?" Yorick asked.
"He slimed me..." Hamlet groaned. I have no idea why there are Ghostbusters references in there. But they're funny! XD.
Also they missed a lot of opportunities with a cartoon slime monster. They have demon arms coming out of armchairs and traumatising people but barely anything with Slimer...
Across Scandinavia.
Oscar was screaming around. This time by insisting Henrik Ibsen who wrote Peer Gynt was Professor Ibsen from Jumanji.
Peter Shepherd winced.
Oscar had a proton pack and was zapping Wat. That T Rex thing with the enormous teeth that disguised itself as an old lady.
"You dare thwart the will of Wat?!" Wat bellowed.
"There is no Dana! Only Zuul!" Zuul yelled.
"Again a little less actually frightening scenes in a goofy ghost comedy action movie and a little more slimer..." said Oscar.
A cartoon slime monster oozed on screen.
"You're gonna put me in a diaper and slime me, aren't you..." Oscar groaned.
...
After washing the slime off of himself as best as he could Hamlet joined his family for the banquet.
"There you are Hamlet!" said the Queen of Denmark.
There were many foods as a royal banquet would offer.
"Hamlet, do you have any idea where your sister Ophelia has got to?" Queen Marge asked.
"She'll turn up somewhere..." said Hamlet. "Whoever wrote this adaptation of my life clearly did not do the research! Ophelia is my girlfriend apparently in canon somehow."
Well your siblings now so Bleh!
Ophelia suddenly bursted out of the turkey.
"It was me! I was the turkey all along!" She said in silly joy.
Hamlet was dumbfounded by this silliness. "I was wondering what that turkey was doing there..." said Hamlet.
Cecil Terwilliger as a kid as Laertes popped up in front of the fourth wall. "Look it's me! Laertes!" He said joyfully.
"Laertes this story is not about you..." Hamlet sighed.
"My brother will avenge me!" said Laertes.
Hamlet sighed.
A spooky forest in Norway.
Oscar and Peter Shepherd were held in the wooden arms of sentient evil trees while wearing diapers.
"Oh great... the Evil Dead trees..." Peter groaned.
Professor Ibsen was writing Peer Gynt while unleashing killer robots.
"Different Ibsens!" Peter groaned.
Oscar frowned.
Cartoon squirrel's with big wet shiny black noses sniffed Peter's diaper.
Peter winced.
Ibsen was still writing Peer Gynt.
I don't think he'd even notice if Oscar visited Jumanji and got up to his usual chaos. Or if Billy from Grim adventures cameoed or Pinky etc.
...
In the present.
"Okay... Oscar's ancestor keeps making obscure references..." said Bart.
'''Prince Edward Tudor'''
Sometime after King Henry was murdered by Queen Marge as Catherine of Aragon, Bart as Prince Edward was crowned king. However he was very ill a lot of the time and dealing with his seemingly immortal mother Jane Seymour.
"Mmmmm... Live and Let Die..." said Oscar the jester.
"Oz! Wrong Jane Seymour!" Prince Edward yelled frustrated.
"That's my head canon that your mom is actually immortal and will one day have a career as a film actress." said Oscar the jester. "And you go on to discover potatoes for England under the brand name King Edward spuds."
Prince Edward face palmed and called for his guards to take Oscar away to be executed.
Lenny had news.
"Your majesty, your insane brother Hugo has escaped his incarceration!" said Lenny.
"Oh God!" Prince Edward gasped.
"And your evil sister Mary is unfortunately healthy and wait for your illness to slowly kill you so she can brutally force Catholicism on us all!" said Lenny.
"Oh God!" Prince Edward gasped.
"And uh someone ate your lunch..." said Lenny.
"Oh God!" Prince Edward gasped.
In the States.
Mark Twain wrote a story where Prince Edward played switcheroo with a poor peasant kid.
In court Bart as a Prince Edward winced as A peasant boy resembling him was allowed to be in his court as a nobleman.
"Okay according to some Yank that happened..." Prince Edward winced.
Then he sold potatoes in England!
"Enough of the potatoes!" Prince Edward groaned.
Elsewhere the ghost of King Henry the VIII was eating food.
"Somehow even as a ghost you're still getting fatter..." said Moe's ghost.
The ghost of Patrick Swayze sang about a King Henry VIII.
...
Edward was plotting something. He knew he did not have long to live with his illness. (Tuberculosis probably) so he came up with a plan. He would name his own heir to rule for him in case he died suddenly so his evil sister, Bloody Mary could not be queen. He chose Mary Spuckler as Lady Jane Grey to rule as queen.
"No! You can't do that brother! I'm next in line for the throne!" An evil gothic Lisa as Mary Tudor yelled.
"You honestly think I'm gonna let you ruin father's kingdom and massacre his people just because you want to force Catholicism on them?! No way!" Edward yelled.
"You put that commoner on the throne and I'll have her executed!" Mary yelled and stormed off.
"Fine then I'll put my peasant doppelgänger on the throne!" Prince Edward yelled.
"That was a story by Mark Twain!" Mary yelled.
Then Prince Hugo was laughing madly in the shadows.
"You're here aren't you..." Edward shivered in fear.
"Yup. Just came to get some fish heads and milk." said Prince Hugo Tudor. He clicked his fingers and royal servants brought him a plate of fish heads and a glass of milk. He thanked his loyal servants and dismissed them. "Just a little snack before the experiment..."
Prince Edward found himself shirtless and ties to a torture table in a dungeon somewhere. He screamed as dramatic lightning struck. Prince Hugo arrived with a needle and a ball of string.
"I went mad when they separated us! But soon we will be back together again brother!" said Prince Hugo.
"Are you nuts?! You'll kill us both!" Prince Edward yelled.
"No not at all! I've been practicing! I made this pigeon rat!" said Hugo. He had sown a pigeon and a rat together. The pigeon flew away but bashed the rat into a rafter. It fell and the rat scuttled away to a mouse hole but bumped the pigeon's head on the skirting board trying to get in.
Prince Edward rolled his eyes.
Prince Hugo monologues about how he went insane after being locked up etc, etc.
In the present Hugo was measuring Bart with a tape ruler.
"Okay now you're making me uncomfortable again..." Bart frowned.
In the past Edward somehow escaped Prince Hugo and decided to have a few of the endless Oscar jesters beheaded.
Cue Oscars as jesters being beheaded.
== Plot 3 ==
The modern day.
"Okay let's peep in on someone else." Bart sighed.
'''Sacagawea's brother'''
Lisa was Sacagawea. What we didn't tell you was that Native American Bart was Hiawatha the famous Native American poet."
"Which is impossible because he lived in the sixteenth century..." said Native American Hugo.
Anyway Bart as Hiawatha was writing poems and wondering why I made him play a geek and getting centuries wrong.
"Oh fine! You can be Gerónimo! His name apart from being a thing we yell in joy it meant He who yawns!" Oscar as a decapitated head yelled.
"I feel like yawning, narrator..." Bart as Gerónimo yawned as he grinds up herbs in a pester and Mortar to make medicine as that was what Gerónimo was famous for. Apart from his name and being in comics illustrated by Oscar's mortal enemy Sergio Aragones.
"That's boring! I wanna hurl tomahawks at colonialists..." Bart as Geronimo groaned.
...
"Booooooring! Let's see one of my other ancestors..." Bart sighed.
'''King David'''
After killing Goliath 2 and taking back his throne, Bart as King David grew a beard and his voice got really deep and powerful as he boomed such things as "Halt! Who dares disturb King David!"
"Bu bu but sire!" A servant played by Lewis stammered.
"Silence! You dare intrude upon the chamber where I write my Psalms?! Hopefully 150 of them or more... I'm on twenty right now..." said Bart as King David.
"Uh..." said Lewis.
"Silence!" boomed King David.
...
"Moving on..." Bart yawned bored.
'''Hamlet'''
Cecil as Laertes was way too close to the camera. "Loooook! It's me! Laertres!"
"Leartes get out of the way of the camera! This is about my life! Not yours..." said Hamlet pushing him off screen.
"Maris?" Laertes called him Maris.
"Stop doing that! Gosh you're more annoying than Oscar as a courtier." Hamlet groaned.
"Hakuna Matata! It means no worries! Hakuna Matataaaaaa!" Oscar sung songs from Disney's The Lion King.
Hamlet stormed off to get a sharp battle axe to kill him with.
"You'll never silence me Maris! My big brother Sir Robert of Underdunk will swear vengeance upon you!" Laetres yelled.
"No I won't..." Young Sideshow Bob as Leartres's older brother sighed exasperated.
Hamlet spent the week killing Laertes for hogging the stage and Oscar for being moronically stupid singing about a Lion King and Disney, whatever that was.
Meanwhile in 18th century Salzburg Mozart discovered a magic flute. He decide to write an opera about it. However much to his evil sister's joy it ended in a riot as Foppish dandies were erm slapping each other.
"Oh you wicked, wicked fellow! Oh!" Etc.
Mozart grimaced as the Fops were fighting.
And he didn't die in bed with leeches on his face. He died an old man in a chair saying "It wasn't they who were laughing at me. It was God!" Then his Requiem Dies Irae played as angelic voices sung and he died.
"Also the Guy from Animal House was Mozart in the movie Amadeus..." said Oscar as a nobleman.
"No Oz..." Mozart groaned.
Oscar played Rock me Amadeus on his guitar.
"No Oz!" Mozart groaned. "Go and annoy some other big historical figure!"
"No because that's why Hamlet keeps trying to kill my ancestor..." said Oscar.
"What about King Edward?"
"No he executed my ancestor, his jester." said Oscar. "I think I'm just as funny as my British great, great, great, great etc grandfather. Mozart's Magic flute in A Minor..."
"Oz that's not funny..." Mozart sighed.
Oscar looked as if he was prompting Mozart.
"... Eat my pantaloons..." Mozart sighed.
'''Hansel'''
Hansel and Gretel, portrayed by Bart and Lisa. Went about the fairy tale forest outside their pumpkin house.
Gretel spent the time trying to warn Hansel of dangerous fairytale characters like the three bears, the troll under the bridge, The Witch Susan in her gingerbread house and a cannibal Pinocchio.
Hansel winced as Pinocchio was trying to cook Billy from Grim Adventures.
However Hansel got into trouble because of his huge appetite. Today he had seconds for omelette breakfast after their father, still part chicken laid eggs which they made into omelettes. But he obviously wasn't satisfied as Hansel then went on to eat the three bears' porridge and the gingerbread man.
"Hansel stop eating all the time! You glutton!" Gretel whined.
He then ate part of the witch Susan's candy house.
"That's a load baring cane..." Lisa as Gretel groaned.
"Why are they not fat German twins in lederhosen!" Oscar yelled.
"Because that would be a racist stereotype Oz..." Lisa as Gretel groaned.
Hansel was still eating.