Title: Never Tear Us Apart
Rating: PG-13/T
Originally posted: 4th August 2023
Originally written for: BriarLily
Characters/Pairings: Rey/Ben
Notes: for AU Exchange 2023 on Dreamwidth and AO3.

It started to happen naturally, as she grew older, stronger, started to feel the shift from girl into young woman. In her ragged clothes, running around over the dunes like the scavenger she was, Rey supposed no-one else would really notice a change in her, not physically, not in any way, but she knew. As her body altered, as her moods changed, there was something else at work too. An openness in her mind, a freedom in her soul. There was more to life than what she knew, more to the universe than what she could see, and it was all connected.

She heard whispers at the port, people and creatures talked of the Force, the old legends of Jedis, heroes, abilities far beyond what Rey thought of as real life. Yet as she thought of these things, let them sit in her mind a while, she realised that perhaps there were more to these tales than fairy stories. That there was more to her than just an abandoned child in the back of beyond, worthless and pointless.

With no-one to ask and nobody to guide her, she was left to wonder and wander alone, so uncertain of what she was or what she was feeling. Then one night, huddled by a small fire, shivering from cold and hunger both, he came to her, just like a dream.

"Where are you? What are you?" he asked, a shake in his voice that she could feel in her own throat and chest too.

"Jakku," she told him, blinking wide eyes into this light in the darkness that surrounded her. "I'm on Jakku, but I... I don't know what I am exactly. They call me Rey."

"I'm Ben," he told her, visibly swallowing hard. "My uncle wants to train me to be a Jedi. We started just today."

"A Jedi," Rey echoed, a smile she had no control over pulling at her lips. "Tell me what you learned."

That was how it began. A simple conversation between two people, a little too young to realise they ought to be wary of each other, a little too jaded to think this magic they had found could last, so better make the most of it.

Ben never asked too much about what this ability he had found really entailed, what its limits were, how he had come to use it without even knowing he possessed the gift. It was not his single day of training with the so-called Master Skywalker that allowed him to access such a power. What existed between himself and Rey was something else entirely.

From that first night, when it had happened quite spontaneously, when she had seemingly appeared at his side, yet far away at the same time, Ben found the connection with Rey so easy to access, though he hardly knew how he was accomplishing such a feat. It came as much from her side as it did from his own. He asked her how, but she did not know either. Still, they took comfort in their own private bubble that nobody knew about but them.

Ben never spoke to Luke nor to his parents about Rey. She said she had nobody to tell about him anyway, but still wouldn't even if she did. They were each other's greatest secret. It did not take long for them to become each other's everything.

Perhaps it was their young age that made it that much more intense. It was a time in their lives when everything was changing, everything was overwhelming, everything seemed like the beginning and the end all rolled into one.

It must have been a year that they had been communicating in their own special way, talking about anything and everything, acting as each other's greatest friend and confidante.

Rey had been wishing on the very stars that Ben might appear to her that night, and just like clockwork, like a prayer answered, there he was. The difference was in his face, in his eyes. Something was wrong, she knew it before he ever said a word.

"What happened?"

"Nothing," he told her, shaking his head. "At least, nothing you can help with. I don't want to talk about it."

It was a foolish thing to say. They were both well aware that he didn't need to talk for her to know. All she had to do was reach out with her mind and he would let her in, just like always. They rarely needed words. It didn't even matter that they were a million miles apart across the galaxy. All they needed was to think themselves closer and there they were.

That night was the first when Ben hesitated about letting Rey into his thoughts. She was hurt by even the smallest hint of possible rejection and he must have felt it, for in the very next moment, he was apologising for it.

"I'm sorry, it's just... Nothing feels right anymore. I'm not sure who I can trust."

"Me," Rey told him without pause. "You can trust me," she insisted, meeting his eyes through the connection they easily sustained between them. "Ben, you know you can."

Swallowing hard, he slowly nodded his head. "I know, but even that scares me now. How can I have so much faith in someone that I've never even...? You're so far away, like a dream, or an angel."

"I'm hardly an angel," she told him, the heat rising in her cheeks and making them burn more than the sun ever could, "and I'm not a dream either. I'm as real as you are, Ben, and I'm your friend. Whatever's worrying you, we can figure it out, together."

It sounded so foolish and naive when she said it out loud. What were they really? Two young people, perhaps not kids anymore, but hardly adults either. They had gifts between them, that was certain. He was learning to be a Jedi and she did the same by proxy, as he reiterated every lesson he had from his uncle to her through their connection, on a regular basis. At least, they had been doing that, until the last few weeks, when his 'visits' had become less frequent, when even her best efforts had not been able to establish their connection.

"Rey..." Ben's voice was soft and uncertain when she looked to him then, his gaze troubled too. "I always thought there was just you and me in the whole galaxy that had these powers, to meet as we do, but lately... I think there are things bigger than us. Bigger than what we share."

"Ben, the galaxy is an infinite thing. I'm sure there must be all kinds of people and creatures with powers like ours, even bigger than ours, but what you and I have... it is special. I know that it is. Please, tell me you still believe that."

There were tears in her eyes that she could no more fight than she could fly, as she reached out to him not just with her mind, as she had so many times before, but also with her hand.

They had never tried such a thing before, not either one of them, though Rey had been so tempted and was sure Ben felt the same. The moment he realised she was reaching out to touch, he lifted his hand and began to do the same.

Across the wideness of space and time, fingertips made tentative contact, sending jolts of something electric through the both of them. For Ben, it was the comfort he had been seeking, as well as the reassurance that the strength of what they shared really could be greater than anything else. He needed that promise, the one he felt in Rey's warm touch, both from her hand and her mind pressing into his own.

In moments like those, it was easy to trust. When he was alone, things were so very different. Someone else reached for him in the darkness, not a bearer of light, but something much worse. A voice, a presence, the spirit of something that wanted to take him away from all he knew and show him such power...

A gasp from Rey let him know he had thought too much of darkness in her company. Her hand retracted from his own and the connection severed in an instant. She was gone, and in the darkness left in her wake, the other came again. The monster who spoke like a saviour.

Ben wanted to know better, to be stronger, but sometimes he wondered if it were truly possible. Until he more fully understood what he was facing, what he was getting himself into, he would not dare to connect with Rey.

It would be years before they saw or felt each other again.

In that time, the galaxy changed so much. Rey changed too. After countless attempts to search for Ben, to reconnect with him, she had decided to take more serious steps, to leave Jakku once and for all. She had no idea of how to complete such a mission, where to go, what to do. It seemed like fate had made the choice for her when she found herself aboard the Millennium Falcon, alongside a man and a droid, both connected to the Rebel Alliance. When she came face to face with the legendary Han Solo and Chewbacca. When she realised, with alarming clarity, that Solo was Ben's own father.

"You knew my boy?" the old smuggler asked her in true amazement.

"Knew?" Rey echoed, shaking her head. "You say that as if... but he lives. I would know if he didn't. Of all people, I would know."

It didn't make sense to him, she never really expected it to. A man ought to know if his son was alive or dead, but how to explain the connection she and Ben had long shared? Rey hardly knew where to begin, even though Han ought to be well-versed in the ways of the Force, thanks to the Skywalker twins.

"Well, you're right and you're wrong." Han sighed, running a hand over his handsome but well-worn face. "The person who used to be Ben Solo is still alive, but he gave up that name a long time ago. He was... taken over. Overwhelmed by the dark side. How much do you know about the First Order?"

When he delivered the crushing blow of what Ben had been driven to, that he was now known throughout too many systems as Kylo Ren, heir of Darth Vader, Rey actually felt her spirit crack if not break, the news bringing her to her knees in an instant. Her childhood friend, her beloved Ben, for whom she felt so much, with whom she shared everything she had and was. His death would have been a pain she could hardly bear, but the truth seemed almost worse somehow. The dark side. The First Order. Not Ben. Not her Ben.

"Isn't there something we can do?" she asked when the shock began to subside, little by little. "There's light in him still, there must be. You're his father, you have to believe that!"

It was clear then that Han wanted to believe, only that he was having trouble really doing so. He had been through a lot, too much, and Rey could feel it all if she let herself. Ben had fallen from grace, from reality perhaps. It was the only explanation for how he could have been turned to the dark side of the Force.

Still, hope was never truly lost. It was possible to be brought back to the light. The legends spoke of it. How Luke Skywalker was able to reach Darth Vader in the end. It was never too late, and it certainly couldn't be for Ben. Yes, it had been years, but not so much time as to give up completely.

"His mother says she has a plan," Han explained, as they all strapped in and prepared to fly. "If there's anyone in the galaxy that can save Ben, I believe it's Leia."

Rey nodded her head, but in her heart she thought otherwise. A mother's love could do much, she supposed, and perhaps the former Princess Leia could be the one to being Ben back. If not, Rey was bound and determined it would be her instead. She would reach him, somehow. She would save him, from himself, if necessary. In that moment, she was absolutely certain there was no other way.

As they went into hyperspace, she allowed her eyes to close, her mind to clear, trusting that the others had control of the ship and their physical journey. At the same time, Rey reached out with her mind, as far as it would stretch, searching every corner for Ben. She called to him by that name, and then, by the one he had more recently adopted. She begged him to answer, to let her know he was okay, to only give her some small spark of hope.

No reply came.

It took all the strength he had to keep her out, to resist her fervent call. Ben Solo. That was who she wanted. She could plead with Kylo Ren to give some sign, but it was not who he was now that she was searching for. It was the boy buried deep within who had not been strong enough to resist a different kind of calling.

Conflict raged inside his mind and heart, but Kylo Ren fought back. The dark side was where he belonged, he knew it to be true. Following in the footsteps of his grandfather, the great Darth Vader. He must continue on this path, he had a job to do. Supreme Leader Snoke had told him so. The First Order was the only way.

'Ben? Please, Ben, if you can hear me, just let me know you're okay.'

Eyes closed tight, he pushed back against her plaintive cry. He had never heard Rey sound so desperate before. Sad, upset, lost, yes, all those things, and he had brought her all the comfort he could before. It was so tempting to give in this time around, to reach back towards her, to appear at her side and tell her everything would be alright, but he couldn't. He never could.

It wasn't orders to abandon her. Snoke didn't even seem to know that Rey existed, never spoke of her at all. Ben had kept her from the Supreme Leader, hardly daring to think of her too much and never too fondly, for fear of what could happen. Even Kylo Ren was protecting Ben's old childhood friend, for reasons even he did not fully understand, or perhaps was just unwilling to admit.

Rey stopped calling and only then could Kylo Ren relax. Even then he struggled, slumping into the chair, his aching head in his hands. He missed her. He also missed his parents, his uncle, the band of rebels that had once been his family, his life, but with Rey it was different. Missing her was like missing a part of himself, as if a limb had been severed from his body, as if a piece of his heart had been ripped away, from the moment they parted.

"I gave it all up for the greater good," he told himself, and yet, the words sounded hollow, the swell of pride and contentment no longer came to him so easily.

The all-powerful Kylo Ren had started to feel very small and insignificant in the galaxy he had once been sure he was born to rule, and never more so than when Rey called on him today. He tried so hard to resist her, and yet, despite his ignoring her pleas, pushing back until she gave up in her attempts, she had unknowingly made some impact on him.

In the days that followed, Kylo Ren hoped that, as time passed, her influence would slip away. That the memories and thoughts of her would become less, but they did not. Then all at once, like a miracle from the Heavens, she appeared before him. Not by way of a Force connection, whatever parlour tricks they had been capable of in their youth. She was really there, stood before him - woman, warrior, angel - and she was not alone.

"Ben," she said breathlessly. "It really is you."

"Rey, what are you doing here?"

Aboard a First Order ship, she was putting herself in the utmost danger, he was sure of it, yet she stood unafraid, her and the second figure that hovered at her side, a scarf obscuring her face.

"Who is this?"

Rey opened her mouth as if to explain, then all at once turned her head to look behind her. Something was happening, someone was coming. She sensed it, she knew, without a sound being heard or anyone there to be seen. At once, she grabbed at his hand and he let her take it, even as a feeling stronger than any electrical current surged through his body.

They ran together, he and Rey and the stranger, into a side room that he accessed with ease, all door locks giving way to him without pause. Safely shut away from prying eyes and worse, he turned again to face Rey, her hand still gripping his own.

"You shouldn't be here," he insisted, watching her expression that wavered terribly between joy and fear.

"Neither should you," she told him firmly. "Ben, what happened...?"

"That's not my name anymore." He dropped her hand, taking a breath, recentering himself, determined as he was not to be swayed from the path, in spite of everything. "Rey, you don't know what's happening here. You can't begin to understand-"

"Maybe she can't," said the stranger, reaching to remove the scarf from her face, "but I can."

He did not know her, not at first, not until he allowed himself to reach out and feel the connection. It was nothing like what he had with Rey, that strange, deep-seated link that could never be undone, come hell or high-water. This was familial, blood, the same thing he felt for his parents perhaps, but not entirely. As she met his eyes then, her gaze strong as steady, yet loving and kind, he recognised it too well from Leia, from Luke. His head tilted as he considered what that meant, and then she smiled.

"You know, I hadn't thought about it, even when Leia told me she had a son, but you have of your grandfather, of my Ani."

The shock sent him reeling, and yet, in searching his feelings, he knew it to be true. Somehow, she was there. With his back against the wall, he stared at her and knew exactly who she was. The wife of Anakin Skywalker. Supposed widow of Darth Vader. Padme Amidala. Ben Solo's own grandmother.

Between the two, Rey stood staring, unsure what reaction to expect on either side. The plan had been simple enough, to have Padme try to bring Ben back to the light, securing a victory she had failed to gain when it came to saving her own husband. How she came to be there with them, looking hardly any older than the day she 'died' was a long story, one that they had no time to tell, even when Ben asked. There would be another occasion, she hoped, when talk of backroom deals, a faked death, carbonite freezing, and far too much deception could be revealed. For now, they had limited time to make their case and try to convince Kylo Ren to give up his allegiance to the First Order and the dark side, to bring Ben Solo back to the light and return him to his family.

"No," he told Padme when she urged him to listen. "You're lying! My grandfather was stronger than any of you. I am the only one willing to carry on his legacy, to fight for-"

"To fight for what, Ben?" Padme asked him desperately. "In the end, he returned to the light. Luke was the one to convince him. My Anakin was a good boy who became a good man, just as you did. He was corrupted by outside forces when he was at his weakest, his most afraid and vulnerable. It's what happened to you too, don't you see?"

"She's right, Ben," Rey insisted, knowing she had promised to keep her silence in this, knowing she never should have made such a vow that she could never keep. "You know she is. This connection between us, from the first moment, I knew it was something worth holding into. Long before I understood anything else about the Force, I was sure what was between us was real and good. Snoke is deceiving you, just as Palpatine deceived your grandfather. He wants you to believe you're only made for the dark side, that you'll be stronger because of it, but that's not true. Nothing is stronger than the light. Nothing is stronger than what you and I can be together."

She couldn't bring herself to use the words she had learned from Master Skywalker. It sounded too strange, too beyond reason to speak of the kind of tie between her and Ben that Luke was sure must exist.

A dyad in the Force, two halves of one whole. It wasn't that she didn't believe it could be true. The whole thing actually made sense of things that otherwise she had no explanation for, but to tell Ben about it, to risk that the darkness he had fallen into might allow him to use it against her, that she could not stand.

All at once, it didn't matter. Rey felt it coming, just a moment before the alarms began to sound, lights flashing, sirens blaring.

"Stormtroopers," she said, turning to the door. "We have to go."

Padme nodded once, pulled out her blaster and made ready to leave. At the last, she looked back at Ben, mouth open to ask him to go with them, but the words never came. Rey knew why. What Padme only saw on the face of Kylo Ren, Rey felt keenly in her very soul. They had not done enough to convince him. Snoke and the darkness had too much of a hold. Ben Solo had not been found nor freed, not today.

"This isn't over," she told him anyway, even as Padme leaned out of the door to check they might make their escape. "Kylo Ren will never win. I'll end him myself if I have to," she said, standing up at her full height, being sure to add a couple more inches by confidence and bravado alone. "But I would rather have Ben Solo back. If you ever find him, tell him I'll be waiting for him. I'll always be waiting."

With that, she took Padme's command to go and ran out of the door, ready for battle, ready for anything, because it seemed she was going to have to be from then on.

There was too much to think about, too much to unravel. He couldn't do something like that with the two of them standing there. With his grandmother's too-young eyes piercing his skin. With Rey's mind reaching out to him, needing to be repelled at all costs, for fear of what she might achieve if he let her in.

Later, when he had time and space to think, when he was sure that Snoke was too busy to come prying, he let himself consider all the facts. More than that, he let himself reach out with the Force and sense the truth of what was happening all around him.

There was conflict outside, but more so within. There had been for a very long time. Though Rey spoke of being unable to find Ben Solo anymore, he still existed. More often than not he was fighting to be free, barely held down by the dubious determination of Kylo Ren.

Sitting down with his helmet in his hands, he stared into the darkness of the mask he usually wore, wondering at his need for it. Darth Vader had reasons enough to hide his face. Kylo Ren had only one and it was not good enough anymore.

What Padme had told him was true, he knew it in the depths of his soul. Though Snoke had sworn it was otherwise, it seemed that Anakin Skywalker had returned to the light when it mattered most, even though the end had come very soon after.

Then there was Rey. Ben Solo had been in love with her before he was old enough to really know what that meant. Even in the moment of realising it, he wondered how he could be sure. There had been love in his life before, though his family had been splintered apart, time after time, but this was a different kind of love. To feel such a connection to another person, a link that could not be broken. It was as if he and Rey were two halves of one person, one heart, one soul.

'A dyad in the Force.'

The whispered words inside his mind startled him to standing. He turned as if expecting to find someone else in the room, yet who he thought to see, Ben never could have said.

Though he had never heard the word 'dyad' before, he knew without question what it meant, what it had the potential to mean, if only he would let it be.

"Rey?" he called aloud, eyes closing as he reached for her in the first time for too long.

Before he could find her, before she could respond, he knew Snoke had realised what was happening, that he was creeping in, trying to make his presence felt. This time, he knew better than to give in. Putting up walls against his so-called master, Ben sent out a message for only Rey to hear, one short burst that he hoped made it to her mind, before he severed the connection, for now.

He hoped to see her again before too long, by way of their Force connection, certainly, but perhaps even in person too. She said she would be waiting. Ben could only hope to live long enough for her not to be left expecting, only to disappointed.

He knew now what he must do to free himself from Kylo Ren, from Snoke, from the First Order. It was no simple task, but if his family legacy had taught him anything, perhaps it was that the best things in life were not supposed to come easily, but that didn't mean they were not worth the fight, in the end.

They were in the middle of planning the fight of their lives. The First Order commanded the Starkiller Base, a creation far beyond even the power of the Death Star. If they chose to use it to its full capacity, the galaxy as they knew it was doomed. Though the Rebel Alliance was no small army of dedicated men and women, with the last of the Skywalker family, including a Jedi, in their ranks, Rey was well aware that it would still be one hell of a fight.

She tried to have confidence. She tried her very best to concentrate on the task at hand. Unfortunately, her mind just kept on wandering. A piece of her was always somewhere else, reaching out far beyond the ship, taking her and so many others across the vastness of space. Though she heard Leia's speeches, Luke's wise words, Poe's strategies and Finn's concerns, Rey was waiting on Ben, just as she promised. Waiting and hoping. Always hoping.

The sudden response was a pleasant surprise, but appeared so suddenly, and with a message so cryptic, it literally threw her off her feet.

"Rey!"

It was Finn who came to her immediate aid, though Padme was quick to follow.

She met the gaze of Ben's grandmother and a smile came to her lips, even as tears filled her eyes.

"He's back," she said shakily. "He... he told me, but..."

"Rey?" Padme prompted when she fell silent. "What did he say?"

"I... I don't know," she admitted, shaking her head, even as a crowd of worried faces surrounded her - Leia, Han, Luke, Poe, and more besides. "It wasn't words exactly. It was more like a feeling. All I know is the person who sent me the message was Ben. Not Kylo Ren, it was... it was Ben but..."

She couldn't explain, she hadn't the words, any more than he had when he sent her the strange feeling which ran around inside her even then. It was positive, it was something like hope, but stronger even than that alone. It was confidence and affection and clarity. If it was anything, Rey would have to say it was faith.

Perhaps he had been a fool to think he could take on Snoke alone. Not that slaying him hadn't proven easy enough, but his guards were a whole other story. One Force user, even one as skilled as Ben knew he was, against so many of the Red Guard, it was still the fight of his life.

Still, he kept his balance, kept his faith too. There were people waiting for him, one in particular, and for that reason alone, Ben Solo could not fail. Looking at how outnumbered he still was brought but a moment's doubt to his mind, but Ben closed his eyes, just for a second, reached out for Rey and knew she would not fail him.

"Ben.

His name from her lips was so close, it was as if she were right there beside him, and then, as he looked again, he realised the reason was clear enough. There she was, at his side, whether through their connection or actually present, he hadn't a clue, and did not have time to ask. As the Red Guard flew at them in a fresh attack, two light sabers swung out in defence.

What followed was a blur of light and sound, until finally, when it was over, Ben turned around and faced Rey across the wasteland of the throne room. Snoke was slain, the Red Guards too. All that remained was the two of them. All that mattered was the two of them.

As it had been before, so it was again.

"Rey," he said, reaching out his hand. "Are you really here?"

Wordlessly, she nodded her head, tears streaming from her eyes as she grabbed onto his hand and allowed him to pull her closer. Then she was throwing her arms around him and instinct drove him to do the same, their grip on each other so great they might have broken bones, yet Ben was unsure either of them would really have cared.

"How?" he asked, amazed she heard since his face was buried in her neck.

"You needed me, so I was here," she told him, breathless from both the exertion of the fight and the emotion of the moment, he was certain of that. "I told you I'd be waiting for you, Ben. I've been waiting for a long time for you to come back to me."

Pulling back to look at her, he could not keep the smile from his face as his hand cupped her cheek. She was beautiful, wild, and wonderful. She was the best friend he had ever known, the greatest Jedi he had ever seen. The other half of himself and all he had ever wanted or needed.

"I've been so blind..."

"It doesn't matter," she promised him, shaking her head. "It wasn't all your fault, and we can fix it. Together, we can do anything."

They had much to do, that was for certain. The First Order was still to be defeated. There was a slew of family and friends waiting for them, and Ben doubtless had a lot of penance to pay for the things Kylo Ren had done. Still, Rey meant what she said. They could do anything together. She meant it so completely, she hardly had the words to explain. She was only glad that she didn't need them. Thanks to the Force, and the connection she and Ben shared, she was sure he well understood all she could never tell him aloud.

What she felt for him was beyond anything that could ever be described. The largest, strongest version of love that there was. Something even bigger than the galaxy itself.

In Ben's eyes, she saw her reflected back, and in his embrace, she felt home. They were forever, no question, she just knew it, and when he leaned in to put his lips against her own, she was sure he knew it too.