Chapter 7 - Family
Author's Note: Skywalker family bonding. :)
~ Amina Gila
"I've felt something calling me ever since I came here," Luke tells Anakin when his father finally arrives. Reva is working out the details of the treaty, and now that Anakin is here, Luke can finally leave her to ask his father about this. He's not sure what it could be, but especially now that the mission is over, he can feel a strange sort of humming. "It's like something's calling me, and I'm not sure what."
"Like a kyber crystal?" Anakin queries, "It is possible yours isn't on Ilum."
"But I'm not a Jedi," Luke replies, frowning, "Could I really have a lightsaber?"
"Considering the strength of your Force abilities, I think it would be likely for you to have one."
A lightsaber. Luke has always wanted a lightsaber, and to be more like his father, but now that they're actually talking about him officially getting one? "Aren't there rules about that?"
"You don't have to be a member of the Jedi Order to have a lightsaber, no," Anakin assures, "Former Jedi can keep their lightsabers. Dooku did. I'm sure we can find a way to work around any regulations. Besides, considering how we've encountered the Sith twice already, I think you need one."
Luke wholeheartedly agrees with that.
They have to wait until the negotiations are over anyway before leaving, though. "Where are you going?" Reva inquires, following them outside. "We have to go back to the cruiser."
"Luke and I have something else to take care of first," Anakin replies, climbing onto one of the speeders.
"What's more important than going back to the Temple?" she asks.
"Luke senses his kyber crystal here, on Tatooine."
"He's not even a Jedi." It's blunt, not really rude, but it still feels like it was meant to be. Likely, it's a mere case of bad first impressions, but Luke just doesn't like the way Reva is talking to his father.
"I keep running into Sith," Luke cuts in, stepping forwards, "If I could have actually fought Ventress here, we could've gotten Rotta back home much faster."
Reva eyes him. (He can't shake the feeling she's thinking about how similar he looks to Anakin, but he has no idea if he's just being paranoid or not.) "Even so, you're not a Jedi," she replies, "You haven't learned to wield it."
"That doesn't mean I can't," he replies, "I know what I'm doing."
"We can't teach our way to just anyone," Reva argues, and under any other circumstances, he'd probably concede her point. But it's different for him, because Luke is Anakin's son. In another lifetime, he easily could've been trained from birth. He easily could be a Jedi by now, though he can't say he's upset he isn't.
"If you want to come, you can," Anakin replies, "If you believe it's a necessity."
"I will," she decides, much to Luke's admitted disappointment, and they head out.
Once they're back in the desert, he senses the pull of the crystal again, and follows it. It leads him to a cave, and he slides off the speeder, cautiously approaching the entrance. "Be cautious," Anakin warns, "These caves can get dangerous."
Not for you, Luke would've said once. But he's no longer as certain as he once was, no matter how hard it is to understand that his father isn't nearly as infallible as he had once thought. Anakin is human like everyone else. It really shouldn't be that hard to understand.
Now that he's closer and inside, the strange humming is louder, just as he thought it would be. But still, he can't help asking. "Why would there be a kyber crystal here?"
"Either it was made here, or more likely, it belonged to another Jedi many years ago, and the kyber crystal was lost out here."
That's... sad. "So, this technically isn't mine?"
"Centuries after the bond between the kyber and its wielder breaks, the bond fades," Anakin explains, "So, yes, it is yours. If it weren't, you wouldn't be able to bond with it and feel it."
It's more like it was sitting right here this whole time then, waiting for Luke to come and find it. That's... slightly touching in a way he can't understand or explain.
He heads into the cave, to where the feeling is growing stronger. He doesn't see it anywhere, but somehow, he still instinctively knows what to do. Closing his eyes, Luke reaches into the Force, calling the crystal to him.
It lands in his hand, and he looks down to see that it's... orange? That's possible?
Is it different because he's not a Jedi? Maybe. Anakin's is blue, so it can't have anything to do with his Force connection. But either way, it's... thrilling to have his kyber crystal for the first time in his life. Most Jedi get it at least half a decade earlier than Luke has and have been training to use it even before that. Still, he's certain he can learn, too.
The moons are high in the sky when he steps out of the cave, the light glistening across the sand.
"It's orange," Luke says, holding it out to Anakin.
"That's... unusual," his father replies, visibly restraining himself from reaching out to touch him, or to hold it himself, Luke's not sure. Reva's presence makes it far more difficult to interact than they should be, but that doesn't dampen the moment. It feels like... like he's somehow been freed. "I don't think we've had an orange lightsaber wielder in years."
"What does it mean?" Luke inquires, looking back down at the orange crystal glowing in his palm.
"I'm not sure," Anakin answers, "Yellow is the color Temple guards use. Blue and green are the normal colors, and purple is used by a narrow variety of welders, those close to the Dark Side. But I have not seen an orange one before."
It's good, right? He wants to ask, but he holds it back, because he can already feel the answer. He doesn't need to have it voiced to understand. Anakin is as happy as he is.
"We should leave and report to the Council," Reva interjects, "From here, we have a chance to regain routes to Kamino."
Anakin looks up at him again, wordlessly, but the look in his eyes says more than talking ever could. He smiles faintly, anyway, before they climb onto the speeders again and head back, Luke's mind already on what he'll build his lightsaber to look like.
**w**
"You have a lightsaber?" Leia asks, almost incredulously. Of course, she knew he might get one, but it's different to see it. And cool. Most of all, she's glad he finally has a chance to be back with her in person.
"Wanna see?" he asks cheerfully, withdrawing it. The orange blade hisses to life, and he holds it out to her.
She takes it, swinging it around experimentally. "I didn't know they could be orange."
"Me neither. But this one is unique."
"Just like you." She grins, and Luke rolls his eyes. "You need to teach me how to use this sometime."
"We could start now," Luke agrees, "But while I have time off, I was planning to do something else."
"... What?"
"Father says his arm isn't like how it should be, and it would probably have to be replaced to feel right. I know what needs to be different. I just need to finish making the adjustments to the new limb," Luke reveals.
Buying their father an arm. If it wasn't so sickening, it would almost be funny. "How can I help?" Leia asks, immediately. If there's anything she can do to help him, she will.
"You can help me make the adjustments, if it makes any sense when I explain it," Luke offers. He fishes around in the bag he brought with him, withdrawing the... mechanism. It's somehow disturbing to imagine this being attached to Anakin.
Leia crouches next to him, watching as he starts working. She's not as skilled as him at this, mostly because she's never practiced it as much, but at least she can offer occasional advice.
It's sometime later when they hear movement in the apartment, and Padme appears in the doorway. "What are you doing?"
"A... surprise," Leia offers.
"Mother," Luke greets, brightening, "You're back early."
"Leia called that you were coming," she replies, giving him a warm smile, "It has been sometime. What's it like on the fronts?"
"Not what I expected," Luke admits, "We lost a lot of men on the last mission."
Leia winces. "Any you were close with?"
"I don't know many other than the Captain well, but Father does."
She can imagine.
"I'm pushing for a diplomatic solution, and a stop to buying more clones so they don't escalate the conflict," Padme tells them.
Luke frowns. "That's only going to make the war drag out more. If we're going to get anywhere, we need to make this swift. We need to be serious about it."
"We don't need to make it worse," Padme retorts, "This has to end."
"We can't do that if we don't have the resources we need to fight. I want this to end, too, but as it stands now, most of Father's battalion has to be replaced."
Leia glances between them, silently opting to stay out of the debate. She can see both their points, and it's honestly a difficult situation. One that she doesn't really need to reach an important decision in, anyway, because that's not her role. "Whatever happens," she interrupts, before it can escalate, "When I'm Queen, I'll make sure we can send aid to whatever planets need it." As long as they have enough resources for Naboo, too. The war is already disrupting many supply lines, and it's making things very difficult. She never expected to become queen in this kind of environment.
"Of course," Padme says, "Naboo will always help as much as it can. I only wish things did not have to go any further than they are now."
"We should take this to Father together, while there's still time," Luke finally interjects. That, Leia couldn't agree with more.
Before long – once Padme's busy with her work again – the twins head over to the Temple. Apparently, now that Luke's technically part of the army, he has a little freer reign to go into the Temple where he wants to.
"Are we really supposed to be going to this part of the Temple?" Leia asks skeptically, as they make their way through the halls. It's beautiful here, and it feels so bright in the Force. It's the place her father grew up, and she's always wanted to know more about it. Even if she can't deny her... resentment, that it kept him away from them.
"No, but who's going to stop us?"
"The... Temple guards?"
"We aren't breaking in. Just walk like we belong," Luke advises smugly, "Father said that's the best way to infiltrate if you can't avoid being seen."
Leia huffs. "Fair point."
They make their way through the living quarters of the Temple, finally stopping outside one of the rooms, where she can feel Anakin's presence.
Tentatively, Luke taps on the door, but it seems like Anakin was already mid-opening it because it snaps open almost before he can finish knocking, their father's eyes widening in obvious surprise at seeing them. "... How did you get in here?"
"Walked in," Luke says, cheerfully, "Can we come in?"
"Of course." Anakin steps aside to let them enter, and Leia glances around the room – her father's room – for the first time. They've never seen this place before. It's... somehow, exactly what she expected it to look like. It has a certain level of controlled chaos everywhere that is arguably neat. At least compared to Luke's room, not that she'll say so. Other than normal... just things, the first object to catch Leia's eye is a gold-colored fighter model sitting near the edge of his bed. "What's... that?" Leia asks, eyeing it.
Anakin follows her gaze. "It's from Ahsoka," he explains, "When she was still my padawan. We were on a mission together and... someone gave it to her. She painted it herself, then gave it to me."
It's a nice work of art, Leia has to admit. And it's somehow touching that she would do that. "Do all Jedi have their own quarters like this?"
"Yes. We get them once we become padawans, and this is where we always stay."
"I never thought I'd get to see what it looks like," she muses.
"Do you have anything from Uncle Obi-Wan or Grandmother?" Luke asks, curiously.
Leia doesn't miss the way Anakin's expression twitches a little, at the mention of his mother, even if it's been so long. The fact that he hardly remembers her anymore probably only makes that worse. "I do not. Normally, Jedi do not keep extra possessions."
"I remember," Leia replies. She remembers the time they had first learned that, far too clearly.
"Father!" they both squeal, simultaneously, sprinting to him, throwing their arms tightly around him.
"We have something for you," Luke says, eagerly.
He crouches in front of them, once they let go of him, smiling at their eagerness. He's nearly always smiling though. Literally the only adult around them who does. "What is it, little ones?"
"Here!" Leia announces, proudly, scurrying back to the couch and picking up their stuffed purrgil.
Anakin takes it from her, eyeing the huge eyes and smile on the front of its head.
"Do you like it?" asks Luke, hopefully.
"Of course," he promises.
"It's for you," Leia says, "To be a friend!"
"You don't want to keep it?" Anakin asks.
"It wants to go with you. It said so," she insists, importantly.
"It is... perfect, and I would like to keep it," he says, "But Jedi are not supposed to have any personal possessions, beyond necessity."
What? But that doesn't make any sense!
"Why not?" Luke objects.
"Jedi may not let any... attachment of any kind cloud their vision," Anakin replies, "We cannot keep or take what we don't need."
"But... it is necessary. You said you don't have any friends at the Temple," Luke argues.
Leia almost thinks Anakin's smile looks pained now. "I do not, but that is how being a Jedi is. I'm sorry, little ones."
"It's okay," she says, trying to quell her own disappointment. Her father looks sad, too.
"We can keep it so you can talk to it every time you're here," Luke promises, perking up, though his own disappointment is still clear.
Now that she's older, Leia thinks the biggest reason Anakin couldn't risk taking it was because the Jedi were keeping a close eye on him at the time.
"We brought you this," Luke says finally, withdrawing the... limb. Out of context, that looks stupid. "I did all the adjustments I could until it's attached."
Somehow, she thinks the look on Anakin's face totally makes up for what happened with the purrgil, not that she hadn't let go of it years ago, but still.
"I imagine it will be... perfect," he says.
Luke beams, and happiness flares through Leia. Maybe good has come for all of them, with Luke going to be with Anakin. If anything, she thinks in some ways, it's brought them all closer together.
**w**
It hasn't been long since Luke started actively fighting in the war, but it's still more exhausting than he thought. At first, it seemed fine, but the longer he's in it, the more the nightmares of... afterwards start haunting his dreams. He doesn't know any of the clones very well, or very personally, but that doesn't make it any easier to see people die.
It doesn't help that they all look the same, and when he sees their faces, he knows exactly how easy it would be for that to be Rex or any of the others that he works with closely. It could be any of the ones that Luke becomes friends with as the war progresses, too.
But it feels like he's trapped, watching, unable to help as people fall and die all around him.
And yes, Luke is learning. He's getting better. But still, it feels like it's not fast enough.
He can't sleep. That's becoming increasingly clear. Maybe he should just... stop trying for tonight.
Trying to blink the images from mind, Luke slips out of his bed in the cruiser, making his way through the halls towards Anakin's room. Of course, he's had nightmares before when he was young, but something about this is leaving him unusually shaken up. Maybe because it was so real.
Anakin's quarters are right near his, and he enters as quietly as he can. Anakin's sleeping, though he starts to stir immediately at noise, as Luke crosses the room. That's no surprise though, is it? He has to be ready to awaken from the slightest disturbances on the battlefield.
But now, Luke suddenly feels almost awkward.
He's just never done this before, even if he knows his father would never have a problem with it. Whenever he had nightmares when he was little, usually he'd go to Aunt Dorme or Padme, but that stopped before he was even ten. Most of the time, he'd just go to stay with Leia, or her with him.
A sharp pang of guilt runs through him, as he thinks of her at home all alone. They were going to be together throughout her term as queen, and now... He couldn't have made any other choice, but that doesn't mean he doesn't feel bad about it sometimes. It's another reason to make sure they can end the war as quickly as possible.
"Luke?" Anakin asks, slowly sitting up. His glove is off – the gold metal of his hand especially visible, and it's another reminder of all the things he's been able to stop, the things he kept seeing in his nightmares.
"I... had a nightmare," he admits.
"Oh." He scoots over a little on the bed. "There is sufficient room for you to stay if you want."
Luke crosses the room immediately, dropping onto the bed next to his father. He's... exhausted, suddenly, and he'd really like nothing more than to stay here.
"Do you want to discuss it?" Anakin asks, Luke leans against his shoulder.
"I kept seeing the... the battlefield. And people dying. I... it was just a dream," he explains, shaking his head. It's just the sheer horror of watching it that he can't seem to shake from mind, and the... overwhelming helplessness he kept feeling in his nightmare.
"Did it feel of any... significance?" Anakin asks.
Luke frowns slightly, shaking his head. "No, I don't think so."
"If it's a vision, you can usually tell by how it feels," he explains.
Oh. He knows Anakin's had some in the past, though it's not something they've spoken of much. It's relieving to know that it's likely not a vision, even if it still leaves him feeling unsettled, because he knows how easily things could go wrong again.
"You should rest," Anakin advises finally, breaking the silence between them.
Luke nods – they don't know how much longer they'll have before they're called away – and shifts over so they can both lay down side-by-side on the bunk. They aren't exactly made for two people, but there's still enough room. It's not like he rolls around.
With his father's warm and brilliant Force-presence next to him, it's far easier to find sleep again, this time something far more peaceful. He wishes he and Leia both could've done this once, when they were younger.
But at least he has this moment, now.
**w**
"You appear disturbed," Palpatine notes, looking up from the... whatever holo he's looking at. He's busy, after all, even if he still agreed Luke could come over that evening.
Leia's busy over holo with some appointments, so he wasn't able to be with her, even though he'll be leaving for the fronts again the next morning.
Luke glances up, from where he's half-lounging on the overly-fancy couch in Palpatine's apartment. Not that there's much in Palpatine's apartment that isn't overly fancy and decorative. He's always had a thing with art, and fancy things of... ancient stuff Luke can't really make sense of.
That's somewhat true for Padme, too, though, because it's just a Nubian thing.
"I suppose," Luke admits, idly trailing his fingers across the red, velvety surface of the armrest.
"What is it?" he presses.
He looks up at that, meeting the Chancellor's gaze. "It's about the war. I – I can't stop remembering when Father lost his hand, and I wasn't able to stop it. I'll never forgive Maul for that."
"As well you should not," Palpatine assures. "He harmed your father."
Luke knows what Jedi say about grudges, but he doesn't care. "But I'm afraid something like that will happen again," he confesses, "I've been dreaming about it, and Father said they're not visions, but I know how easily it could happen."
Palpatine's face grows graver. "That is concerning, considering your father's propensity for having visions. I may know little of the Force, but I imagine your abilities are somewhat similar."
"Yeah," Luke agrees, glumly. This wasn't a vision, but what would he do if...
"Has he ever spoken to you of his visions regarding his mother's death?"
He shakes his head, curiosity perked. "He mentioned it briefly, but he doesn't really talk about it. Mostly, he's just told me and Leia what she was like when he was younger. What he remembers, anyway. His memories of her are faint." Luke can't imagine what that must've been like, for Anakin to leave his mother only to return ten years later for her to die. It was bad enough with Aunt Dorme, but at least he was able to spend years with her, years of memories.
"The Jedi tried to suppress everything of his past," Palpatine says, though it's obvious he's unhappy about it, "They forced him to adapt to their 'ideal model' no matter how much it hurt him. There was no one he could speak of it to, aside from me."
Honestly, Luke can't even imagine that loneliness, and it's always horrifying to hear more about it. "But he had Obi-Wan, didn't he?"
"I've told you before, that he was always a Jedi first. Perhaps he cared for Anakin, but he always marginalized his feelings. He's the one who advised him to ignore his visions, insisting they were nothing."
"What? Why would he do that?!"
"He believed they were stemming from Anakin's attachment to his mother, instead of a genuine concern. They have never listened to his instincts," Palpatine explains.
That's... it's awful, even if he already knew much of it. Seeing Anakin now, Luke can easily see how lonely he is. How does he stand it? He doesn't even have anyone at the Temple, other than Obi-Wan and Ahsoka. "Father's always said Obi-Wan was like his father."
Palpatine hums, contemplatively. "Jedi do not believe in families. Anakin may see those he was close with there as family, but the feelings are not reciprocated. The Jedi have always wanted to suppress what made him special – his heart. That is true for all of you, Skywalkers."
A small smile flits across his face, unsure how to feel at the unexpectedness of the words. "... I guess."
Palpatine leans closer, something clearly troubled in his expression. "Anakin may not want to see it, but the Jedi have kept him enslaved, in their own way. I am hoping you will be able to help him."
Luke bites down on his lip, nodding. It's true, really. If they've always treated him like this... "I'll do what I can. But I don't know if I can do enough." Anakin really is enslaved in a way, though. And he could've gotten out if not for whatever happened with him and Padme.
"I will admit that your mother did not improve the situation, when she rejected Anakin's desire to raise you away from the Order," he continues.
"Why did she?" Luke frowns. "I don't understand why. I've never asked."
"She was focused on her career in the Senate. A noble effort, but that does not change the effect it has had." He sighs. "But if you are with him, it will... help. I do not know how the Jedi will handle it if they discover who you are, however."
A sudden knot of uneasiness twists inside of him. "They couldn't make us stay apart, could they?"
"They would not have the legal authority to change it, but they could pressure your father to sever ties," Palpatine responds.
Luke's indignation – and fear – rise instantly at the words. He just got his father back, for truly the first time in his life. He will not risk losing him. "I don't understand what's wrong with the Jedi sometimes," he says, frustratedly.
"They are too focused on their own ideals and their Order to be concerned with those they hurt in the process. Perhaps they were not once this way, but it has been worsening overtime, as has all the corruption in the Republic."
He slumps back against the couch with a sigh. "Yeah, I suppose." But he does know one thing. "I won't let them find out. I won't let them keep hurting Father." He won't let anyone hurt Anakin again if he can help it.
**w**
Even with a lightsaber, Anakin knows how vulnerable Luke still is on the battlefield. He doesn't have nearly the level of skill and training of other padawans his age, even if he's learning quickly. But when all Anakin sees every battle is the clones falling all around him, everyone another person he wasn't able to save, he knows he won't take any such chances with his son.
"What's this... test?" Luke asks, dubiously, following Anakin through the halls of the cruiser, to the room he chose for the training.
"You must be prepared for anything the droids can throw at you," he replies, as they step into the room.
The clones are gathered all around, their own interest and curiosity radiating into the Force. Somehow, every time he and Luke go somewhere together, Anakin can always feel the clones' questions, wondering why the boy looks so much like him – why Luke is even working with him when he's not a Jedi, unless there's something else going on. None of them ask because it wouldn't be considered respectful by the protocol they were taught, but Anakin doesn't think he'd have a problem telling them if they did ask.
He trusts them already, deeply, so much more than anyone he ever did at the Temple. (He'd forgotten what it was like, to have someone he could work alongside without having their judging eyes watching him – that's been true for everyone but Obi-Wan and Ahsoka for so many years now.)
"Are you ready?" Anakin asks, glancing between everyone.
"Yes, sir," Rex confirms, immediately.
"What are we doing?" Luke asks, a touch warily now.
Luke moves to the center of the room, and the clones circle around him, preparing to fire. They start shooting stun blasts, and Luke tries – and fails – to keep up with deflecting the blasts away fast enough.
Within seconds, he's stunned on the ground.
"That was... faster than I expected," Jesse observes, sounding a mixture of surprised and amused.
"He will learn," Anakin replies. He knows this won't be easy, but if Luke can last through this, there are no droids he won't be able to defeat.
It's a while later that Luke finally stirs, slowly pushing himself upright with a quiet groan. Anakin touches him with the Force lightly, to make sure he's okay. He is. "How long has it been?"
"Almost an hour," he replies, cheerfully.
"What?" Luke yelps, eyes widening.
"Ready to try again?"
"Yeah," he mutters, climbing unsteadily to his feet, swinging his lightsaber up to deflect the blasts when the clones start shooting again. His movements are still uncoordinated, and he goes down even faster this time.
"You're waking up more quickly,"Anakin observes, holding out a hand to Luke when he wakes up again.
The boy takes it, standing unsteadily. "What kind of test is this?" he huffs.
"I know this is hard," Anakin says, squeezing his shoulder, "But if you can hold off the boys, you can hold off anything from any droids, too."
"Sorry, Commander," Jesse calls, cheerfully, "I didn't mean to take you down so fast again."
Luke glances around, a certain wave of understanding settling over him, and he nods. "I'm ready, then," he decides.
"Then we'll begin again," Anakin says, gesturing to the clones – ignoring the questions he can feel swimming in their minds about who Luke is anyway – as they all start shooting again.
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