Jennie
Betrayal weighed heavily. Much more so than the familiar density of expectation and responsibility. Betrayal left me feeling helpless, hopeless, listless. I wanted to find that life-affirming anger and rouse it back to life.
Angry was better than devastated.
"Here, my beautiful friend." Chaeyoung danced over to me, barefoot and charming in a flowy skirt and crop top. She pressed a goblet of some thick, dark purple liquid into my hands.
"What's this?" I asked.
"It's a serenity blend with herbs and fruit juices. The collagen in it will do amazing things for your skin."
My skin felt too tight. Everything had changed. In just one day, I'd lost everything, and even my body seemed a stranger.
Plus, I'd spent so much time in the bathroom this afternoon that I was dehydrated.
We'd gathered at Chaeyoung's. It hadn't been spoken aloud, but due to the fact that Lisa was so adept at breaking into my own house, I didn't feel safe there. I couldn't see her. I would break and either shatter into a thousand pieces or murder her. Nayeon would have helped me with the body, but she was on her yacht in the Bahamas.
Chaeyoung's home looked as though her soul had exploded triumphantly over every square foot. We were on her covered terrace listening to the thrum of waves. Colorful lanterns and dazzling strings of lights hung from the ceiling in no particular pattern. The furniture was low and cushioned in purples, reds, and golds. It reminded me of an oceanfront meditation studio on steroids.
Her fountain burbled happily on the flagstone terrace. Beyond it, the pool glowed softly under moonlight. Tealights floated on its surface.
I took a sip of serenity and made a face when Chaeyoung wasn't looking. The woman was heavy-handed with turmeric.
"Chae, how do you work this stereo thing?" Chu demanded from one side of the outdoor fireplace.
"I got it," Chaeyoung said, dancing over to her.
Chu joined me on the low wooden couch with cushions the color of pomegranates. "Here," she said, handing me a very large glass of wine. "Don't pour your serenity directly into the plants or they'll wither up and die. Dig a little hole in the sand."
"Thanks," I said.
"We're worried about you," she said, taking a gulp from her own glass of wine.
"I'm worried about me, too," I said dryly. "It's been a day."
The music came on from hidden speakers above us. It was chanting monks.
Chu snickered into her wine. "God love her."
"Let's go through it beat by beat," Chaeyoung suggested, returning to us and plopping down on a rattan ottoman. "It's important to let yourself feel the trauma, or it can take root in your body."
"The vegan beauty Instagram influencer speaks the truth," Chu teased.
"You guys don't really want to hear this," I sighed.
"Yes. We do," Chaeyoung said firmly. "Start at the beginning."
So I hit them with it. All of it. Starting with my revelation in the hallway at AHA and then moving on to Bobby's phone call, my mother's demands, the media shitstorm. And then Lisa. Or, more precisely, Lisa and Irene.
They listened without interrupting until the end.
"And to top it off, my father calls me and tells me the board is expecting my resignation from Flawless by tomorrow at nine."
"That's fucking bullshit," Chu snapped.
"And how does that make you feel?" Chaeyoung asked, resting her chin on her hand.
"How does that make me feel? Really fucking shitty, Chae."
I felt wrung out and defeated. And perhaps just slightly, marginally better for at least releasing the words from the body.
"Great. That's exactly how you should feel," Chaeyoung said approvingly. The monks above us hit a particularly monotonous note.
"I'd like to point out that Jen here seems to be way more upset over that sex god than about Flawless," Chu said.
"I'm not," I argued.
"Babe, you are," Chaeyoung said gently. "She hurt you."
Deeply. Irreparably. Scarringly.
Chu raised a finger. "Listen, this is not coming from a disloyal place, but you don't actually believe that she screwed around with Irene, do you?"
"You saw the pictures," I said.
"Technically, that's not an answer," Chaeyoung pointed out. "We've all seen the pictures, and I'm still inclined to agree with the beautiful Chu here."
I heaved a sigh and thought about Irene's superpower ability to seduce a man. Lisa's flirtatious charm. "Look, even if they didn't have sex, those pictures made it very clear that something beyond business was happening." My stomach rolled again. Dear God, did I even have any liquid left in my body? "Something that she kept from me after I made it abundantly clear that anything less than complete transparency was a deal-breaker for me."
"Fair enough. She screwed up big time," Chu agreed. "But I'm seeing a well-orchestrated, multi-pronged smear campaign. All of the rest of it is bullshit. So why wouldn't the pictures be bullshit too?"
I hated the vile spark of hope that flared pathetically to life in my chest. I wanted to kill it.
"I don't know. Does it even matter?" she was still doing something wrong, my survival instinct screamed at me.
Chu took the empty wine glass from me and refilled it from the bar cart. There was a bonsai tree next to a bottle of her favorite organic vodka.
Chaeyoung shook out her wild hair over her shoulders. "Chu's right. There's no way all of these stories were cooking independently of one another. Someone is out to get you."
"Yeah, and that someone succeeded."
The sound of a small boat engine caught our attention. We saw lights out on the bay. They were speeding in our direction.
"If this is the paparazzi, I'm shooting them with a flare gun," Chu said, gaining her feet.
Together we walked down to the beach, wine glasses wielded as weapons. A glossy wooden dinghy beached itself a few yards from us. Something disco-ball sparkly moved behind the wheel. "All yours, Martin."
Nayeon, dressed in a captain's hat, glitzy, silver cocktail dress, and life preserver, climbed over the stern and hopped down into the water.
"Shoes!" she called.
A pair of silver stiletto sandals sailed through the air and landed in the sand at my feet.
"Champagne!" Nayeon said again. A steward lugged a case of champagne to shore and dropped it next to the shoes. She gave me, then Nayeon, a salute before returning to the dinghy.
"Girl, you sure know how to make an entrance," Chaeyoung said, hugging Nayeon in the surf.
"Like I'm not going to leave a flotilla when my friend may need my underworld connections to have a bunch of people disappeared?" she snorted.
"Thanks, Nay," I said, giving her a hug. The sequins on her dress bit into my skin, but the hug more than made up for the discomfort.
A long gong sounded.
"What the hell is that?" Chu asked.
"Doorbell," Chaeyoung said, bopping cheerfully back toward the house.
"It's probably the food," Nayeon called, flipping the sopping wet train of her dress over her arm. "I ordered a smorgasbord from the Village. Cuban, sushi, grilled cheese."
Champagne and comfort food and a ruined six-thousand-dollar cocktail dress. That was Nayeon. That was my friend.
"So, who set you up?" Nayeon demanded as we trooped back to the terrace. "Was it Lisa? She's got the network for it obviously, but does she have the dastardly soul?"
"Honestly, I don't have the mental capacity to work it out right now. Let's just leave it for tomorrow."
I knew.
That picture had proven a truth that I was unprepared for. It hurt too much to examine. If I could keep it in the dark for a few more hours, maybe then I'd be prepared to face it. Maybe then I would have a plan.
"Sweet Jesus, what the hell is this music?" Nayeon complained. "Let me at the stereo."
"Let me at the champagne. Damn girl, a case of Veuve Clicquot?" Chu swooned.
"Only the best for heartbreak."
I excused myself and went inside. I needed to splash some cold water on my face, maybe check in with Alison. I hadn't heard from her since she left to track down Nina, the girl who claimed the product I developed had permanently scarred her face.
It was too much. It was all too much.
I heard Chaeyoung's voice coming from the front door.
"Listen, Lisa. I appreciate the intensity of your emotion right now."
My insides went to jelly. Lisa was here. Fight or flight? I desperately wanted to do both. Instead, I ducked behind a pillar like a coward, out of sight but within eavesdropping distance.
"She's not answering her phone, her texts. She's not at her house." She sounded desperate, and somehow her pain lessened mine just a bit.
"You obviously care deeply for her," Chaeyoung continued. "But this isn't the time to talk to her. You need to leave, and I want you to think about the part you played in all of this. Find out what lessons you can learn from this."
She was giving Lisa Manoban homework. It would have been laughable had I not been ready to cry or bash my forehead into the marble.
"Chaeyoung," she said her name desperately. "I just need to see her. I need to know she's all right."
"I understand, but right now, my friends' needs come first, and if you try to step a shiny loafer over this threshold, I'm going to have to junk punch you. And I really dislike violence."
Chaeyoung was the friend that every woman in the world needed.
"Nothing happened. With Irene, I mean," she said. "No matter what those pictures say, I'm Jennie's."
I could hear Chaeyoung soften. "I know that. And I think deep down Jennie does, too. But you can't rush her through her pain."
They were both silent for so long, I wanted to peek around the marble to see what was going on.
"You'll take care of her then?" Lisa asked, her voice rough.
"I will. Go take care of yourself."
"Will you tell her that I… that I'm thinking about her?" she asked.
"Probably not," she said cheerfully.
I peered around the column. Lisa stood in the doorway, hands in her pockets, shoulders slumped. She hung her head. "I just need to see her," she said so softly I wasn't sure those were her words.
She lifted her head, and those brown eyes zeroed in on me.
"Jennie," she rasped.
"Junk punch, Lisa," Chaeyoung reminded her, slapping a hand to her chest. "Don't make me do it. I promise you, I will take care of her. She doesn't need you right now."
She was still staring at me. I couldn't tear my eyes away from her. There was so much pain and frustration stirring the air between us.
"Tell me what to do." She was saying it to me.
It took everything I had to turn my back and walk away.
It hurt. So much more than any of the rest of it. Lisa Manoban held the key to my destruction.
"Here's what you can do." Chaeyoung's voice carried. "We're almost out of ice, and we're moving on to the chilled champagne and mixed drink portion of the evening. You can leave two bags of ice at the front door. And you can go to Jennie's house since you're so very good at breaking in and pack her an overnight bag. She's staying here tonight," she said firmly.
I stepped into the powder room and shut the door. Sagging against it, I closed my eyes, not sure if I wanted to laugh or cry. Lisa looked as gutted as I felt. But was it because she'd lost the game or me?
I took my time washing my face. Letting cold water shock my skin.
When I stepped out of the powder room, Chaeyoung was lugging two bags of takeout in the direction of the terrace.
I took one of them from her. "Don't you have a commercial ice maker in the catering kitchen?" I asked.
She feigned innocence. "Hmm, come to think of it, I do. And you already packed an overnight bag, didn't you?"
I had.
"What's your game, puppet master?" I asked, following her in the direction of Bruno Mars and the pop of a champagne cork.
"Just giving her a chance to show you how she feels without you having to face her before you're ready."
"What if she doesn't do anything?" I asked, my intestines still simmering.
"Then you'll know."
What if she did what she was tasked with? At this point, I wasn't sure which was worse.
I wasn't sure of anything other than the fact that I wasn't ready to face her. Not until I was immune to those devastatingly brown eyes.