Writer's Note:
"A kiss isn't just a meeting of lips, but a dark dance of souls, drowning deep, losing breath, yet yearning for another plunge."
The night was draped in an oppressive silence, interrupted only by the soft creak of the front door as Arizona stepped inside. The looming shadows of her living room whispered back secrets, shrouding her in the tangible weight of her earlier transgression.
She shut the door behind her, the weight of the kiss she shared with Callie pressing heavily on her mind. Each movement was tainted with memories of their entanglement, the taste of Callie's lips still lingering on her own. She pressed her back against the door, taking a moment to collect her thoughts.
'Why?' she whispered to herself, more a plea than a question. 'Why couldn't I resist her?'
Unbeknownst to her, the darkened corner of the living room held more than just shadows; it held a watcher.
Carina, concealed by the darkness, observed Arizona with a calculating gaze. Her face betrayed no emotion, but her eyes gleamed with a mix of anticipation and satisfaction. She noted the way Arizona's hands trembled slightly, the pained look in her eyes, and the sigh that escaped her lips. All these things told Carina what she needed to know.
Moving through the darkness of her house, Arizona could feel the memories of the evening clinging to her. The electrifying charge of the earlier encounter seemed to surround her, taunting her very being.
She made her way to the bathroom, desperate to wash away the weight of the evening. Flicking on the light, she caught her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes, usually so clear and bright, now seemed distant and conflicted. The shadows beneath them were darker, perhaps from the weariness of inner turmoil, perhaps from the weight of forbidden desires.
She quickly got undressed and stepped into the confinements of the shower.
Turning the shower knob, she allowed the cold water to cascade down on her. She hoped the cold would numb the heat coursing through her veins, quell the fire ignited by Callie's touch. But every droplet only seemed to remind her of the warmth of Callie's lips, the sensation of their bodies pressed close.
Water pooled around her feet, swirling with her tangled emotions and disappearing down the drain. But no amount of water could wash away her feelings, her confusion.
'Damnit! Why do I feel this pull towards her? I'm married!?' Arizona's internal monologue raced as the cold water continued to pour.
Carina remained in her hiding spot, taking her time to step out from the shadows. She closed the distance between herself and the hallway that led to the upstairs bathroom, leaning against the wall and listening intently.
The sound of running water reached Carina's ears, and a smile played on her lips. She could imagine Arizona in the shower, trying to wash away her guilt, her confusion, her desire. A shiver ran down Carina's spine, not of cold, but of excitement. The game had truly begun.
After what felt like an eternity, the water stopped. Carina took a deep breath, steeling herself for the confrontation she knew was coming. But before she could make a move, she heard the soft padding of Arizona's footsteps, moving towards their bedroom.
Carina followed silently, stopping just outside the slightly ajar bedroom door.
Arizona towel-dried her hair and wrapped herself in a robe, hoping the soft fabric could offer the comfort she so desperately craved. Walking back to her bed, she quickly changed and tried to lose herself in the plushness of her bed, praying for sleep to give her a temporary escape.
Carina watched as Arizona, dressed now in pyjamas, settled onto the bed. Her face was etched with conflict, her eyes glistening.
Taking a deep breath, Carina finally made her presence known. She pushed the door open further, stepping into the room. "Arizona," she said softly, her voice dripping with false concern.
Arizona's head snapped up, her eyes wide with surprise. "Carina! How long have you been here?"
"Long enough," Carina replied, moving closer to the bed.
Arizona frowned, sensing the hidden meaning behind those words. "What do you want now?"
Carina's lips curled into a sly smile. "I'm happy to know that you're considering it….." She paused, letting the implication hang in the air between them. "Considering her."
Arizona's face paled. "I don't know what you're talking about."
Carina tilted her head, feigning innocence. "Oh, don't you? The guilt is in your eyes Arizona. It's all very telling."
Arizona swallowed hard, her voice shaky. "Carina, it's not what you think. It was just a moment of weakness."
"A moment of weakness?" Carina echoed mockingly. "Or a moment of desire?"
Arizona closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. "I don't want to talk about this right now."
Carina leaned in, her voice dropping to a whisper. "But I do. I want to hear all about it. Every detail."
Arizona's eyes flashed with anger. "You're enjoying this, aren't you? Seeing me like this, conflicted and guilty?"
Carina shrugged, a smirk playing on her lips. "Maybe. It's not every day I get to see my wife fall for someone else."
Arizona's voice trembled with emotion. "I'm not falling for anyone, Carina. This isn't a game. People's feelings are at stake here."
Carina's gaze hardened. "Maybe it's time you considered mine."
A charged silence filling the room. Arizona finally looked away, unable to meet Carina's piercing gaze. "I need time to think," she murmured.
Carina stepped back, her face unreadable. "Take all the time you need," she replied coldly, turning on her heel and leaving the room.
Arizona watched her go, her heart heavy with guilt and confusion. But as the door clicked shut behind Carina, Arizona couldn't help but feel a sense of relief. She was alone with her thoughts, free to process everything that had transpired. Maybe she need to just sleep it off.
But sleep, it seemed, was another thing that eluded her. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw Callie. The twinkle in those dark eyes, the way her lips moved when she spoke, the tantalising memory of their shared kiss.
God Damn!
Arizona groaned, burying her face in her pillow. But as the first rays of dawn began to pierce the darkened room, her pager blared, snapping her from her tormented reverie.
With a mix of relief and trepidation, she read the emergency message. Grateful for the distraction, she quickly changed into her street clothes, ready to immerse herself in her work, seeking refuge in the one place she felt in control: the operating room.
But as she left her house and drove to the hospital, one question haunted her: How long could she run from her feelings? And what would happen when she no longer could?
The low hum of the ceiling fan created a rhythm to Carina's thoughts as she sat down at her mahogany desk in the study, during the early hours next morning. The light from the desk lamp casted a soft glow over the papers, journals, and myriad of pens that cluttered her workspace. Taking a deep breath, she opened her laptop, its screen flickering to life.
The weight of the events from the past few days weighed heavily on her. But Carina wasn't the type to let emotions interfere with her work. Instead, she channelled them, using the raw intensity to fuel her writing.
She began typing, the words pouring out of her as if they had a life of their own:
'In the silence of the bedroom, she laid beside him, the space between them feeling like miles. The taste of another's lips still lingered, bringing a heady mixture of guilt and exhilaration. It had been so long since she'd felt this alive, this wanted. But with every stolen glance, every clandestine touch, the weight of her wedding ring grew heavier. She longed for the days when their love had been fiery, passionate. Now, they were just two strangers, sharing a life but living it separately. He tried, she knew he did. The desperate attempts to rekindle their lost spark, the date nights, the surprise gifts. But nothing seemed to bridge the widening gap between them. Her heart was torn, caught between loyalty to a past love and the allure of a new passion.'
Carina paused, rereading what she had written. The raw emotions she had infused into the prologue made her feel vulnerable, but she knew it would captivate readers. They would see themselves in the words, feel the same heartbreak, the same desire.
She quickly saved the document and attached it to an email addressed to her agent, Jenna.
Subject: New Book Proposal - Prologue Draft
Hey Jenna,
I've been working on something new. It's still in the initial stages, but I wanted to share the prologue with you. It's a tale of love, betrayal, and the complexities of human emotions. Let me know your thoughts.
Warm regards,
Carina.
She hesitated for a split second before hitting the 'send' button. The uncertainty was brief, replaced almost immediately by a sense of relief. There was no turning back now.
Leaning back in her chair, Carina let out a long breath, feeling a mix of exhaustion and accomplishment. The story was personal, too close to home perhaps, but she believed in its potential. She had always been a firm advocate for turning reality into fiction, believing that it added a layer of authenticity that readers resonated with.
Her phone buzzed, pulling her out of her reverie. It was a notification from her email app.
Email from Jenna Prescott - Re: New Book Proposal - Prologue Draft
Carina,
Just read the prologue. It's gripping, emotional, and raw. I think you're onto something big here. Let's discuss further tomorrow. I feel this could be your next bestseller.
Best,
Jenna.
A slow smile spread across Carina's face. Jenna's feedback was always brutally honest, and this positive response meant she truly believed in the story.
Carina's heart raced with excitement, the vision for her book becoming clearer. She felt alive, her creative juices flowing. And as she began typing out the first chapter, she knew that this story, birthed from the chaos of her own life, had the potential to be her masterpiece.
The hustle and bustle of Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital was a cacophony of voices, beeping machines, and the squeak of sneakers against linoleum. The Ortho department, particularly, was seeing more of a flurry than usual. But not due to a sudden influx of patients or surgeries. It was due to a fiery Ortho goddess!
Walking down the corridor, her 5-inch heels echoing her authority, Callie's very presence seemed to cause a ripple of tension.
Residents would exchange nervous glances, whispering to each other as she approached, dreading to be the next on her radar.
A young resident, Dr. Jamie Mitchell, nervously approached Callie with a patient's chart. Before she could speak, Callie barked, "What took so long?"
Jamie stammered, "I, um... the scans, they were delayed and—"
"Always an excuse with you people," Callie interrupted, taking the chart from her hands and scanning it briefly. "Just get it right the first time."
Dr. Bailey, noticing the strange atmosphere in Ortho, approached another nervous intern.
"What's got Dr. Torres so worked up?"
The intern, swallowing hard, managed, "No idea, but she's been on a rampage since morning."
Bailey shook her head, walking away. She had enough on her plate and didn't need any more drama.
Meanwhile, Callie was reviewing some X-rays when a resident hesitated to approach her. Callie turned her fiery gaze to the young doctor, who gulped audibly. "What is it?"
"I, um, have the scans for Mr. Johnson. There's a minor complication with the pelvic fracture," the resident stammered.
Taking the file, Callie scanned the reports quickly. Her frustration evident, she sharply commented, "You think this is minor? Go back, redo the scans, and come back with a clearer image. And this time, maybe use your brain."
The resident nodded, almost on the verge of tears, and rushed out.
Dr. April Kepner, passing by, overheard the exchange. She cautiously approached Callie, "Hey, everything okay? You seem... more intense than usual."
Callie, trying to mask her emotions, replied, "I'm fine."
But April knew better. "Is this about Dr. Robbins?"
Callie looked taken aback. "What? No, why would it be?"
April took a deep breath, "Look, everyone saw that dance at the gala. And the rumours about... other things... they're spreading."
Callie's eyes widened. "Other things? What other things? I barely know the woman…"
Callie walked away as April retreated back, not digging further. The pulsating hum of Hospital seemed to amplify in Callie Torres' ears, each footstep, each beep of the monitors, and whispered conversations feeling like a direct assault on her already frayed nerves. Her heart felt like it was beating louder than usual, a reminder of the inner chaos that seemed unending.
She had snapped at a few interns, shouted at a couple of residents, and even given many a dressing-down they wouldn't forget anytime soon. But deep down, it wasn't about the interns, the delayed scans, or the mistakes in the charts.
It was about that consuming kiss, a kiss that wasn't supposed to happen but did anyway. And now it held her captive, refusing to let go.
The very thought of Arizona's lips on hers sent shivers down Callie's spine, and she hated herself for it. She hated the way her body betrayed her, responding so intensely to just a memory. The touch of Arizona's fingers tangled in her hair, the soft but commanding pull, the way their lips meshed together, creating a symphony of feelings Callie hadn't known in so long.
Shaking her head as if to rid herself of the thought, she tried to focus on the patient's chart in front of her, but the black inked words blurred into one another. A picture of that office scene kept playing on a loop - the dim lighting, the closeness, the heat, and most importantly, the unspoken promise in Arizona's eyes before they parted ways. But what was that promise? What did it mean?
Her train of thought was interrupted as Addison approached her, looking concerned. "Hey, are you okay?"
Callie's voice was almost a whisper, laden with vulnerability she didn't often show, "Do you ever feel like you're drowning, Addie? Like you're in the middle of the ocean with no shore in sight?"
Addison looked at Callie, her eyes filled with empathy, "Callie….what are you talking about?"
Callie let out a frustrated sigh, "I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore. One minute, I think I've got everything figured out, and the next...everything is upside down."
She felt trapped. Trapped between her growing feelings for Arizona and the guilt of even entertaining those thoughts. The weight of her internal conflict was suffocating, and the walls of the hospital, usually so familiar and comforting, now seemed to close in on her.
Callie knew she had to confront these feelings, confront Arizona, and get the clarity she so desperately sought. Because this state of limbo was quickly becoming unbearable.
The distant hum of machinery and the soft cries of infants set the backdrop of the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). It was a place of contrasts, where joy and sorrow often met, sometimes even in the same instant. Arizona, with her years of experience, had witnessed countless stories unfold in this very ward, but today, her attention was singularly focused on one fragile life: a premature baby, recently out of surgery.
Gently, she adjusted the tiny monitoring leads on the infant's chest, her fingers working with practised precision. The baby, swathed in soft blankets, seemed peaceful, but Arizona knew the risks that lay ahead. Every little beep and blip on the monitor spoke a language she understood all too well.
Her reverie was interrupted as Addison Montgomery stepped into the room. The familiar click of her heels on the tile floor and her imposing yet elegant presence were hard to miss.
"Dr. Robbins," Addison began with a soft voice that belied her usual assertiveness, "that was a touch-and-go surgery. Thank you for being here so early today, even before your shift started….."
Arizona, looking up, met Addison's eyes. "It's my job Addison. And it was a total teamwork. You did an incredible job too."
Addison, leaning on the glass pane, studied the baby for a moment. The delicate rise and fall of its chest, the tiny fingers curled into a fist. "He's a fighter," she mused.
A moment of shared silence passed between the two doctors, both lost in their thoughts. The NICU had that effect, often rendering words redundant. But Addison had more on her mind.
"You know," she began, her tone casual but probing, "I've been meaning to ask if there's someone special in your life these days?"
Arizona paused, taken aback by the sudden shift in the conversation. She fiddled with the chart in her hands, searching for the right words. "I'm….It's... complicated."
Addison arched an eyebrow, her gaze piercing. "Isn't it always?" She paused, collecting her thoughts. "I just want to say one thing, Arizona. You're an incredible surgeon, a great person. But you need clarity in your personal life. It's only fair to you and to the other person involved."
Arizona's eyes darted up, catching the intensity in Addison's gaze. "Why are you telling me this?" she asked defensively.
Addison straightened up, her voice firm yet caring. "Because I won't stand by and watch my friend get hurt. I've been there, and trust me, it's a place no one should ever be."
Arizona's heart raced, realisation dawning upon her. Addison knew. About her and Callie. About the complicated dance of emotions they'd been engaged in.
Addison leaned closer, her voice dropping to a whisper, "I see the way you both look at each other. The tension. The attraction. But with it comes responsibility, Arizona."
Stammering, Arizona tried to find words, "I... I don't know how..."
Addison cut her off, laying a comforting hand on Arizona's arm. "Just think about what you want, Arizona. And then act on it. But remember, feelings aren't toys. They're fragile, just like our little fighter here." She gestured toward the infant.
With that, Addison turned on her heel and walked away, leaving Arizona amidst the soft lullabies of the NICU, lost in a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions.
The corridors of Grey Sloan Memorial were relatively empty, the dim lights casting long shadows. Arizona was still processing the discussion she just had with Addison. The neonate's delicate heartbeat still echoed in her ears, but Addison's pointed questions about her personal life amplified louder.
Exiting the NICU, her blue scrubs fluttered lightly as she discarded the gown she wore. The impending need to confront the situation with Callie pressed on her mind. She had to clarify the situation, ensure that they both end whatever has transpired between them amicably. Her personal life had enough complications; the last thing she needed was more talk around the hospital corridors.
But as she contemplated her next steps, a firm grip on her arm jerked her into a side room. Before she could react, she found herself inside the dimly lit Peds ward on-call room.
As the door of the on-call room slammed shut behind them, Arizona struggled to adjust her eyes to the dimly lit room. The sudden transition from the bright hallway to the semi-darkness left her disoriented for a moment, the hand still gripping her arm firmly.
"Wha...?" Arizona's voice was a mix of surprise and anger, but before she could complete her sentence, she recognized the silhouette facing her.
Callie Torres' usually warm, chocolate brown eyes now had an intensity that Arizona had rarely seen. It was a mix of frustration, anger, and a dash of vulnerability. The room's silence was broken only by their synchronized heavy breathing.
"What the hell, Callie?" Arizona finally managed, trying to free her arm from Callie's grasp.
The dim light of the on-call room barely illuminated the space. Callie, trying hard to maintain a semblance of distance, stands firm, her posture all business. Her dark eyes, however, betray a whirlwind of emotions. "Arizona," she starts, her voice steady, "Have you been avoiding me?"
Arizona's eyes, a bright shade of blue, betray her confusion and hesitation, momentarily lingering on Callie's lips before meeting her gaze. "No," she responds a bit too quickly, "I've been caught up in surgeries since morning. I wasn't avoiding you."
Callie released Arizona's arm, taking several steps back. Arizona sighed, trying to find the right words, "Callie, I wasn't….. It's complicated."
"No," Callie interrupted, taking a step closer, her tall frame now just inches away from Arizona. "You kissed me, and now you're avoiding me. That's not complicated; that's cowardice."
Arizona's heart raced, the close proximity to Callie making it harder to think straight.
"Callie, it's not just about the kiss….. I'm... involved with someone."
Callie's dark eyes, now shimmering with a mix of hurt and confusion, searched Arizona's. "Who? Who is it that has you so torn? Because, Arizona, you can't deny there's something between us."
Arizona's throat tightened, the weight of her secrets pressing down. "It's not about denying it, Callie. I just... It's not that simple."
Taking another deep breath, Callie dives in. "We kissed, Arizona. Twice. And I need to know what that means. What we are doing….. Where is this going?"
Arizona hesitates, her mouth opening and closing a few times, searching for the right words. "Callie... I... I'm not sure."
The response frustrates Callie, "You can't just kiss someone and then act like nothing happened. I need to know where I stand, Arizona. I deserve that much."
Arizona runs a hand through her blonde hair, her face a picture of inner turmoil. " I told you it's….it's complicated," she sighs out, "I have... commitments, and I can't just ignore them."
Callie's expression hardens, her patience wearing thin,
Arizona closes her eyes, her voice barely above a whisper, "I didn't plan on any of this happening. But now that it has... I need time to figure things out."
Callie, her voice shaking with fiery emotions, retorts, "You don't get to put my life on hold, Arizona. I need answers."
The room's stifling silence was momentarily punctured by the rhythmic ticking of the clock on the wall. Arizona took a deep breath again, exhaling as she tried to gather her thoughts. "I wish I had an answer," her voice slightly shaky, "but I know that this... whatever this is... can't go any further."
Callie's face flushed with a mix of anger and disbelief. "You can't be serious, Arizona," she snapped, taking a step closer, her voice rising, "You can't kiss me for two hours straight and then tell me you don't know what it means….,that it can't go any further."
Arizona's cheeks reddened with the accusation, and she took a bold step forward, challenging Callie's stance. "Don't pretend like you were just an innocent bystander, Callie," she retorted, her voice fierce, "You were right there with me, feeling every moment."
Callie's eyes flashed, she took two powerful steps forward this time, her tall frame almost towering over Arizona's, the closeness making her head spin with a potent mix of anger and arousal. "You initiated it," she growled, her voice low and husky, "You had no right to lead me on if you're not sure where this is going…."
Arizona, not one to back down, took another step forward, eliminating any distance between them, their bodies just inches apart. She could feel the heat radiating off Callie. "And what about you? It was you who kissed me first on that rooftop. It's because of that moment that I'm so damn confused right now."
Their breathing became heavier, their chests almost touching, eyes locked in a battle of wills. The atmosphere in the room was thick, a potent mix of anger, confusion, and raw, undeniable attraction.
Drawing in a shaky breath, Callie finally growled angrily, her voice barely audible, "Maybe... maybe we should just forget everything."
Arizona nodded in agreement, her voice equally hushed as Callie's breath played over her lips. "Yeah," she murmured, "Maybe we should."
In the charged silence that followed, both of them could hear their hearts pounding loudly, echoing the conflict of emotions surging within them.
The glint of arousal in their eyes was undeniable as they stared at each other, trying to read the unspoken words in each other's gaze. Their heavy breaths almost synchronized, filling the room with an unmistakable undertone of need.
Before either could think of the implications of their proximity, in a wild moment of abandon, Callie, with a hunger evident in her eyes, pulled Arizona toward her, fusing their lips together in a desperate kiss, pressing their bodies together from head to toe. It wasn't gentle or exploratory; it was raw and unrestrained, each of them trying to convey their confusion, passion, and yearning all at once.
Arizona, for her part, responded with equal fervor. A soft moan escaped her lips as Callie deepened the kiss, their tongues dancing in a heated rhythm. The sensation of Callie's hands travelling down her back, pulling her even closer, made Arizona's heart race.
As the intensity of their kiss grew, Callie, in a move driven by sheer passion, pushed Arizona against the door of the on-call room. The solid thud of her back meeting the wooden surface sent a jolt of electricity down Arizona's spine. Her hands, previously passive, now dug into Callie's hair, pulling her even closer.
Feeling the urgency and need emanating from Arizona, Callie's hand sneaked up to cup one of Arizona's breasts through the thin fabric of her scrub, the touch eliciting a gasp from Arizona, her skin tingling with anticipation.
"Umm…oh god!" Overwhelmed by the sensations, Arizona had to pull away to catch her breath, arching her head back. But Callie, intoxicated by the closeness, swiftly moved her lips to the exposed pulse point on Arizona's neck. The sensation of Callie's lips and teeth on her sensitive skin combined with the rhythmic grinding of Callie's core against her thigh made Arizona's world spin. It felt forbidden, dangerous, and incredibly arousing all at once. The room, their reality, everything else faded away. Only the two of them and the raw passion they shared mattered in that fleeting moment.