CHAPTER 10

"Holy! What's up, sexy?"

Rukawa ducked his head so Luna wouldn't see how embarrassed he was. "As if."

"I'm serious! Look in the mirror." Luna grabbed his arm and hauled him in front of a full-length mirror. "Look!"

Rukawa looked. Luna had convinced him to come shopping with her during his day off in Osaka, and shopping with one of the biggest super-model in the Japan did not mean, as Rukawa had expected, going to a mall. It meant private shopping sessions at tiny designer-owned boutiques. He'd also quickly realized that Luna wasn't even looking for clothes for herself, and was mostly interested in dressing Rukawa up like a model.

So now he was wearing an Ivory-colored silk T-shirt that was basically transparent and cost more than most people earned in a month. It looked more like something Sendoh would wear.

"Your body is ridiculous," Luna said. "Look at that ass!"

The dark brown slacks had some stretch in them, and were hugging his thighs and ass in a way that, Rukawa could admit, looked pretty nice. "The pants are good," he allowed.

"It's all good. Trust me. And here. Try this with it." She held out a reddish-brown leather bomber jacket. "It's short so you won't hiding that juicy butt."

"Stop it," Rukawa said as he slipped the jacket on. He'd never really been a leather jacket guy, but maybe...

"I love this look with your longer hair," Luna said. "You look like trouble."

Rukawa turned from side to side in front of the mirror, examining himself. He did look different, but still himself. Just...cooler.

"I like it," he admitted. "Do these pants come in other colors?"

An hour later, he and Luna left the boutique with several bags, all containing clothes for Rukawa. Luna had insisted on paying for everything, which was completely unnecessary, but Rukawa allowed it because it seemed to make her very happy.

Rukawa was vaguely aware that there were people- paparazzi, most likely- taking photos of them as they walked the short distance from the store to Luna's chauffeured car, but Luna didn't mention them so he didn't either. Rukawa didn't know how she dealt with that level of public scrutiny. It made his own life as a superstar basketball player in Japan seem downright private.

"I'm starving," Luna announced when they got into the car. "You wanna get tacos?"

Rukawa did want to get tacos, but... "I'm on a pretty strict diet," he said. "For, like, performance."

Luna laughed. "Aw geez. I thought I finally had a lunch date I could eat real food with. Okay, what can you eat, then?"

After Rukawa rattled off an embarrassingly long list of forbidden food, Luna asked her driver- who she seemed to have a very friendly relationship with- to take them to a place that had, according to her, the best poke in town.

"So how are things?" Luna asked once they were at a patio table with their bowls. "With...y'know?"

"Great," Rukawa said quickly. "Really great."

"Yeah? No plans to go public?"

"Not really, no."

"You okay with that?"

Rukawa took advantage of the fact that he'd just popped a chunk of tuna in his mouth and took his time answering. Most days, he thought he was fine with hiding. They had a long-range plan, so Rukawa wanted to stick to it. That was easy, and organized. And safe. But some days...

"It would be nice to be open about our relationship. Most of the time the hiding doesn't bother me, but sometimes the unfairness of it all makes me furious. The other guys on the team get to talk about their wives and girlfriends, and have them come to team events and stuff. They have kids and, I don't know, lives beyond basketball that they can be proud of. I want that."

"And what does he want?"

"I don't know. The same, I think." Rukawa nudged some fish around with his chopsticks. The restaurant had allowed him to substitute the rice for extra kale, which was nice, but also sucked. "He said he want to wait, but he'd also said he'd come out anytime, if I wanted it."

Luna reached across the table and poked him in the arm. "He loves you so much!"

Rukawa turned the color of his raw tuna. "I know. I'm lucky."

"Do you want my advice? As a person whose entire life is under a microscope?"

"Sure."

"Do what makes you happy. Live how you want, love who you want. People will judge you, hate you, criticize you, but plenty more will support you and love you. And, in the end, no one matters except the people you care about. Your parents support you, your best friends support you. Who are you reallyj worried about?"

"I don't know. The league? The fans? My teammates?"

"Your teammates know you're gay, though, right?"

Rukawa nodded.

"Anyone being an asshole about it?"

"No. I mean, I can tell some of them don't love it, but they keep quiet about it. I don't know if even the openly supportive guys would be okay with me and, um...y'know."

"What about your agent? Does your agent know?"

"We told her in the summer."

"Good. You want your agent on your side if things go sideways. Trust me."

Rukawa picked up a chunck of fish, then put it down. "Do you think things will go sideways? Are people going to figure us out?"

She smiled sadly at him. "I'm not saying it's impossible for you guys to keep this secret for as long as you want to, but..."

"Not likely?"

She wrinkled her nose and shook her head. "Sorry, Kaede."

Rukawa sighed. "Then we should make a plan B, I guess."

"I'd recommend it. Always plan for the worst and hope for the best."

Damn. Rukawa really didn't want to have to think about the possibility of their relationship being outed. Not more than he already though about it, anyway.

"What about you?" he asked, hoping to change the subject. "You seeing anyone?"

"Nah. I sort of had a thing going with a pro surfer, but he was a lot. Always wanted to talk about deep shit for hours. It was intense. And boring."

"Sorry."

"I think I want to find a nice, normal guy, y'know? No celebrities. I want to meet, like, a bookstore owner."

"Isn't that the exact plot of a movie? I swear I watched a movie like that with my parents."

Luna laughed. "You're right! Okay, not a bookstore. Maybe a...flower shop. There. Totally different."

"I wish I knew a nice flower shop owner. I'd introduce you."

"Keep your eyes open. I'd also accept a baker. I love bread."

"I miss bread," Rukawa said wistfully.

"God, I'll bet. Is it worth it, though? Does the clean eating make you feel better?"

Rukawa frowned at his bowl of kale. "I keep saying it does, but it might be the discipline that makes me feel better, not the food."

Luca's mouth dropped open in exaggerated shock. "Wow. This just turned into therapy."

"Sorry. Ignore me."

"No way. Tell me all about how much you like discipline."

"Shut up. It's not a sex thing."

"Hm."

"It's not! I like to practice discipline and self-control, and be rewarded for it. That's all."

"That still sounds like it could be a sex thing."

Rukawa rolled his eyes. "Eat your food."

"Is that an order, sir?" she asked in a husky voice.

"Damn! That doesn't even make sense. Wouldn't I be the submissive one in this fantasy you're making up?"

Luna cackled while Rukawa wished he could disappear. The truth was, he did like it when he and Sendoh played a bit with discipline in the bedroom. Rukawa wasn't into punishment, or shame, but he loved it when Sendoh made things...challenging. And then rewarded Rukawa for it.

"I'm sorry," Luna said gleefully. "You're just so fun to tease."

"I've been told."

Late in the afternoon, Luna dropped Rukawa off at hos hotel. She hugged him as they stood next to her car and told him she'd be at his game the next night.

"Oh yeah?" Rukawa said.

"I'll be there, wearing a Shohoku jersey."

"That'll cause a scene."

"Maybe the paps will think we're back together."

Well, that wouldn't hurt. Except Sendoh would never let him hear the end of it. "I'll see you...someday," Rukawa said. His heart felt heavy. He really wished she lived closer to him.

"Soon," she promised. "I fly to France on Monday to start for catwalk that I already know will be terrible, but maybe we can meet up somewhere after that."

"Definitely."

She hugged him again and said, quietly against his ear, "Say hi to Akira for me."

"Okay."

"And come up with a backup plan."

"I will."

As he watched her drive away, a ball of tension formed inside his stomach, expanding into his chest. There was no backup plan. If he and Sendoh were found out, they were fucked.

"Guess what," Sendoh said as soon as Rukawa accepted his FaceTime request. It was the next morning, and Rukawa was still in bed.

"What?"

"We are getting a team puppy! Hiromi told us today at practice."

"Oh. Cute."

Sendoh looked perfect, sitting on his deck in the early-autumn sunshine. He was wearing a black sweater that looked soft and cozy, and his jaw was covered in tiny stubble. The sunlight made his black hair gleam. "He is to small right now, but when he is old enough he will come to the arena to visit!"

"You gonna let anyone else play with him, or..."

"Maybe. Good game last night." He lifted a McDonald's cup and took a long sip of something that was, at best, Coke, but could possibly be a chocolate shake. Rukawa decided to ignore it.

"You stayed up that late?"

Sendoh grinned. "Yes, but, you know. Mostly partying."

Rukawa smiled back, knowing damn well Sendoh had only stayed up late to watch his boyfriend play basketball. "Sure. I saw Luna yesterday."

"Yes, I saw the photos."

"Did those hit the internet?"

"They say you are back together. Congratulations. Very happy for you."

"Idiot. Anyway, I want to tell you what she said."

"She wants you back?"

"No. Shut up. She said we should maybe make, like, a backup plan. In case our secret gets out."

"Backup plan," Sendoh repeated. "What would that be?"

"No idea. I figure we either stick to the plan we have, or our secret gets blown and we're fucked, right?"

Sendoh frowned. "Maybe. Yes."

"I know we're careful, but..."

"Someone might notice my heart eyes."

"Your what?"

"Heart eyes. Sakuragi said I look at you with heart eyes."

Rukawa squirmed against his bedsheets. "When did he say that?"

"At camp. I was staring at you and he said-"

"Oh damn." Rukawa palmed his face. "He did not say that."

"Yes. Was probably true. I look at you and I am just..." Sendoh opened and closed his fist several times in front of his chest. "My heart goes crazy, you know?"

Rukawa's own heart started going a little crazy. "You should see a doctor about that."

Sendoh grinned and shook his head. "Is just being in love, I think."

Rukawa covered his face with a pillow. He couldn't look at Sendoh in that moment. Couldn't let Sendoh see him either.

"Come back," Sendoh said, laughing.

Rukawa tossed the pillow aside. "I fucking miss you so much. I wake up alone every day and it sucks."

"I know. Four more days."

Rukawa groaned. "We're not even going to have time to see each other before our game, are we?"

"Probably not."

"That's going to be brutal."

"Maybe I will kiss you during a face-off."

"Pretty sure that would be a face-off violation."

"You are a nerd."

"I'm also naked right now."

"Oh yes?"

"Mm. Except my glasses."

Sendoh grinned and stoop up. "Let's go to my bedroom, then."

TBC

Girl: Aw, don't cry! You make me felt guilty too about Sendoh! loveyou!