A/N: There's probably mistakes in here. My children have been needy, so it's been hard to focus. On the upside, here's an update AND I just got a new job.

Heart

Chapter 7: I Didn't Want to Need You

"I'm sorry, Mac."

Mac came around her desk and rested her hand on Harm's arm. "Harm, we're in the military. Of course, life is going to be interrupted from time to time."

"But it's your birthday, and Eden and I had a surprise planned."

Mac smiled. Eden wasn't the greatest at keeping secrets, so she was already well aware of the nature of the surprise.

"Well, I'm sure we can do it when you get back." Her smile widened when she thought about the "special" dinner the two had planned.

Harm narrowed his eyes at her then grinned. "You know, don't you."

Mac gave a light chuckle. "Three-and-a-half-year-olds aren't great at keeping secrets it turns out.

"Yeah, I should have thought about that, but then again, it was her idea."

"She didn't tell me what kind of cake you were making," Mac commented with a smile.

"Well, that's something, then." Harm looked down at his feet for a moment, then looked back up at her. His mouth opened and it seemed he was about to tell her something. By the look in his eyes, it was something serious.

"Harm? What is it?" He seemed to be in a daze.

"Oh. Oh, nothing. It's just-"

At just that moment, Mac's office phone rang. She would have ignored it, but something told her she needed to answer this one. Briefly apologizing to Harm, she went around her desk and picked up the handset. It took less than a minute for the caller to identify herself and tell her the reason for the call, but it in those seconds her world shattered.

"Mac. Mac!" Harm barely caught Mac as she staggered, though she did manage to tell the person on the line she'd be right there before the handset fell out of her hand. He slowly lowered her into her chair, then knelt down beside her.

"Mac, tell me who called. What's going on?" His heart started beating erratically, knowing Mac wouldn't react this way about just anything, or anyone. "Mac, please!"

"It's—it's Eden. There…there…was an…an accident," she choked out, and Harm felt the world slipping out from under him.

"Is she—is she…"

"She's hurt. I need to—" Mac stood abruptly. "I need to tell the admiral. I need to get to her." She tried to push past him, but Harm quickly stood as well and blocked her.

"Mac, tell me. How bad is she hurt?"

"I don't know, Harm. I don't know! I have to get to her!"

"Okay, okay…let's go to Chegwidden." Harm was doing his best to remain calm for Mac's sake, but inside he was sick with fear. If he lost Eden…if he lost her so soon after discovering her, most of him would be lost too. "Come on, Mac." He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and ushered her from her office.

"Tiner, we need to see the admiral right away," Harm said as he strode into Admiral Chegwidden's anteroom, Mac in tow. The young yeoman, obviously seeing the two superior officers' distress, immediately picked up the phone.

"You can go right in."

Before the words were entirely out of Tiner's mouth, Harm had pushed open the door to AJ Chegwidden's office, guiding Mac in ahead of him. The admiral looked over his reading glasses at his subordinates, then stood and motioned them to the chairs in from of his desk.

"What hap—" the admiral started to ask as Harm eased Mac into one of the chairs.

"Sir?" Harm asked, interrupting his CO. "Do you have any water for the major here?"

"Harm, I'm fine."

Harm sighed in exasperation. Mac was anything but fine and neither was he. Both their hands shook, though Harm managed to hide his as he accepted a bottle of water from the admiral.

"Drink, Mac," he said quietly before sitting down himself and facing his CO. "Sir, there's been an accident. Eden—"

"Eden and my nanny, Katie, were in a car accident a little while ago. Eden…Eden…"

"Eden was hurt, sir." He realized he hadn't thought about Katie being in the accident too. Please let her be all right too.

"Permission to…to…"

"Granted," the admiral replied quickly. "Tiner will drive you."

"Sir, I'd like to—"

"I know you would, Commander, but you are already late getting out of here to go to Norfolk as ordered."

"But sir—"

Admiral Chegwidden stared Harm down, and Harm knew he had no choice but to comply.

"It's okay, Harm. I'll call you as soon as I know more."

"Mac, I—" Harm started to protest again, but then his shoulders slumped. He wished he could just turn around and tell his CO Eden was his daughter too, but he couldn't do that without discussing it with Mac first. "Okay. Sir," he said, turning toward the admiral. Permission to see the major off before I leave?"

Something in Harm's gaze must have reached Admiral Chegwidden, for the man's face softened and he nodded. "Granted. And major, I will want a report about Miss Eden as soon as you are able."

"Yes, sir."

"Dismissed."

"Mac, I mean it. Call me as soon as you see her. And let me know what you find out about Katie."

"I will, Harm."

Harm leaned forward. "I wish I could give you a hug." Harm spoke softly, mindful of Petty Officer Tiner standing by.

"I wish you could too." Her eyes were wet with unshed tears.

"Excuse me, sir, ma'am," Tiner interrupted. "I need to—I'll be over there."

Both Harm and Mac's eyes widened when they realized what Tiner was doing. The embraced quickly, and moments later, Mac was driven away.

Mac rushed into the ER after Tiner dropped her at the entrance. She hadn't been to the ER at Georgetown before and the crowd of people around her left her rather overwhelmed. It took her a moment to find the main desk and she wanted to scream when she saw the line. It was probably the hardest thing she'd ever had to do, but she made herself wait seemingly wait patiently until it was her turn.

"Eden. Eden MacKenzie? I'm her mother."

"Identification, please." The woman at the desk was like a robot, her voice monotone, her eyes remaining firmly glued to her computer screen. Mac shoved her ID in front of her, and after a brief glance, the employee began typing. Just before Mac was ready to leap across the desk, the woman finally told her where her daughter was. Another employee escorted her back, though Mac would have known where Eden was without any direction. She could hear her daughter's sobs, and the sound of her baby crying for her mother nearly destroyed her.

"Eden, honey, I'm here, baby." Her daughter looked so tiny and pale on the ER gurney as Mac stroked her hair. She wanted to climb into the bed with her and hold her, but she had no idea what her injuries were.

"Mommy," her daughter sobbed. "Katie wouldn't talk to me!"

"I know, sweetheart," Mac answered, though she knew no such thing. She was terrified Katie had been terribly injured or even killed. "I know."

Hours later, Eden was finally settled in a room. She had fractures in both her arm and her leg, but thankfully she had no internal injuries. The tiny girl had been given something for pain and had finally fallen into a restless slumber, but only after Harm had sung to her over the phone.

Mac had called Harm earlier from the ER to update him on Eden's condition, and she could hear his tears over the phone. She'd then called the admiral who told her she was officially on family leave until Eden recovered. Her uncle was out of the country, otherwise he would have rushed to her side. He'd still offered to cut his trip short, but Mac insisted he stay in Ireland with his fiancée. Admiral Chegwidden was going to come by in the morning, but Harm would likely not be back in town for at least a few days.

Mac had almost told her CO about Eden and Harm, but divulging her daughter's parentage wasn't likely to get Harm back any sooner. Knowing that, Mac couldn't hold back the tears after she ended the call to her daughter's father.

She wanted Harm with her, more than she wanted her uncle, more than she wanted anyone. She'd handled motherhood largely on her own, but now that she didn't have to, it felt so wrong not to have Harm here. She'd finally adjusted to knowing Eden's father, and now he had the ability to quiet her fears and insecurities. If he were here now, he'd be holding her. They could share in this trauma. They could both be here for Eden.

Yes, she needed Harm. She depended on him and would need to depend on him even more now that she would be without her nanny. Katie had survived the accident, but her injuries were far more serious than Eden's. Yes, she would recover, but not before enduring weeks of rehab and healing.

With a sigh, she swiped the last of her tears away. There was no sense in dwelling on things that she didn't have in this moment. The most important thing was lying in a hospital bed that dwarfed her, but she was alive. Her daughter was alive.

"H-Harm?" Mac could have cried in relief when Harm picked up. As it was, she was already crying, having witnessed Eden's pain and fear. The little girl took her pain medication without complaint, but she was still unable to get comfortable. Mac would adjust her pillows, cover her with her duckling blanket, and Eden would finally sleep, only to awaken soon after from nightmares about the crash. She still sobbed about Katie not answering her after the accident even though Mac had assured her over and over that Katie would be okay. Eden had demanded to see her beloved nanny multiple times, but with her injuries and her young age, she absolutely could not visit the young woman.

Now Mac was exhausted and devastated. She'd barely slept since arriving at the hospital, waking anytime Eden so much as sighed, and it broke her heart into pieces that she couldn't take the hurt away from her daughter. So, she'd finally given in and called Harm.

"What is it, Mac?"

"It's Eden…"

"I'll be right there."

"Harm, no. No. She's okay. I just…I just needed to hear your voice. I mean, Eden is…she just hurts all the time. She keeps having nightmares about the accident, so she never relaxes. I try to keep her comfortable and I keep failing. Harm, I…I…" she couldn't go on. She couldn't admit to Harm why she called. It wasn't fair to him.

"Mac, what is it?"

"I…I need you." So much for not telling him.

"I'll be right there."

"No, you can't."

"I'm leaving now." Mac could hear the shake of his keys in the background.

"Harm—"

"Maaac! Come on."

"Okay."

"See you soon."

It took him three hours to get there which felt like an eternity to Mac. Eden was just about due for her next dose of medicine, and she had just awoken sobbing and calling for Harm.

He had arrived just in time.

"Hey, Duckling," he whispered, kneeling beside her little bed. Eden's hiccuping sobs paused as she held her good arm out to her father, and Mac silently cried in relief as their daughter babbled to Harm. She caught the words "Katie" and "scared" while her partner stroked his daughter's hair and gently rubbed her tummy, crooning soft words of comfort. Mac smiled through her tears as she left to fetch some ibuprofen for their little girl.

"She's asleep, and she seems to be comfortable for now," Harm said as he closed Eden's door behind him. Mac had just exited her bedroom after taking a much-needed shower, and she sighed in relief.

"Thank goodness." She looked down at the floor for a moment, then raised her slightly bloodshot and eyes to his. "Harm, I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have called—"

"Mac, stop. I'm glad you called. You shouldn't have to deal with this alone."

"But that's just it! I should be able to deal with something like this on my own. I've done it for almost four years!" She burst into tears and almost immediately she felt herself being drawn into Harm's embrace.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. I'm here. You don't have to do it on your own anymore. I'm here," he whispered in her ear, then kissed her hair. She sobbed into his chest, holding onto him tightly, letting out all the terror and worry since the phone call telling her of the accident. When she finally calmed, exhaustion took over.

"Come on, Mac. Let's get you to bed." He began to lead her back to her bedroom, even as she started to protest.

"Honey, you're exhausted. I've got this. I'll stay with Eden."

"But—"

"No buts. Bed. Now."

"Okay," Mac agreed meekly, her bed now beckoning her. Harm moved ahead of her and pulled down the covers, motioning for her to climb in. Mac acquiesced to his silent command. He drew the blankets up around her shoulders, then leaned down to kiss her forehead.

"Harm?"

"Yeah, sweetheart?"

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Goodnight, hon."

"Goodnight."

Harm turned and made his way to the door. He had just stepped out into the hall when she called out to him again.

"Yes?"

"I-I…um, nothing. Goodnight."

"Are you—"

"Nothing, Harm. Just—thank you again."

"You're welcome again," he answered, then pulled the door shut behind him.

In dark of her room, Mac willed her heart to stop its pounding. She couldn't believe what she had almost done, what she'd almost said.

She'd almost told Harm she loved him.

End Chapter 7