"Your arms feel more like home
than any house ever did."
"Sure missed you...Spitfire."
Now I know I am dreaming. Only Eli has ever called me 'Spitfire.' The air was warm and thick with misty, warm humid soil mixed with sweat. The showers of the day's deluge seeped into my clothes, soaking me to the skin.
A number of times, I imagined coming face to face with him, only for it to slip away like a dream when I awoke. There were so many unspoken words conceived in my mind that I could never say because he was gone before I could say them. This feels just like that. Am I just reliving my nightmares again?
Eli. Is that you?
What am I doing? I ran away from home with a strange little creature, jumped down a giant hole, and by some miracle survived. I barely managed to stay alive after getting attacked by strangers, and now I am lost in a jungle wilderness. Who always has the worst luck? Oh, right, it's me. Who was left at home all alone? Just me. Who got the butt end of the stick when they tried so hard to go unnoticed? Me. I'm alone, I'm injured, and...I'm scared.
What's so different about this place from when I was up there on the surface? I was nobody who couldn't even stand on my own two feet without someone to defend me. What am I now? Still nobody, just someplace else where I don't belong. I didn't want to be popular or flattered by air-headed bimbos. I didn't care about attention or cliquy girl groups. Everyone except me seemed to have a place where they belonged. Why is finding where I fit in this bewildering puzzle so hard? Whenever I think I've found my place, it continues to illude me, and I am reminded once again when I get burned. Every. Single. Time. I get burned!
When is it going to register that I have plenty of scars?
It was dark again, my eyes refusing to open as if glued shut. I must have fallen asleep again. I didn't realize how tired I was. I should really...wait. Wh-Where am I?
I heard voices, some of them raised. My ears strained to listen to them more clearly. All I could understand was that they sounded worried, agitated, or confused? The voices were unrecognizable, and I couldn't distinguish their words. Who's there? What's going on? Why can't I understand them, and why can't I move? Is this some kind of sleep paralysis?
I could feel someone beside me, their breath tickling the skin of my arm. They weren't speaking. Something warm and damp gently brushed my cheek. It rubbed both sides of my face before it trailed down my arm. The contact sent shivers down my body. If the motion of my limbs wasn't limited, I would feel relaxed. My eyelids still felt so heavy and wouldn't open.
I felt a trickle of sweat run down the side of my cheek. My body is...freezing. It's so cold. My chest rose and contracted quickly like there wasn't enough air in my lungs. It's hard to breathe. Why is my body shivering like this?
My mind started wandering like it was clouded in a thick fog. I couldn't see anything clearly and just about had enough of my exhausted body. I began to think about my mom when I came down with walking pneumonia in the 3rd grade. She took three weeks off from work to take care of me. While I rested, I could only fall asleep listening to her read to me. I wonder if she and Dad have even noticed that I am gone right now. They'd flip. Ha, but it would take them a while before they'd realize that I am gone.
I started to think about Eli. All the time I knew him, he had kept a huge secret from me. Not about this world beneath our feet but about why he had chosen to involve himself with me in the first place when he knew that he'd someday come here. A quiet girl with no redeeming qualities and the complete opposite of him.
As swiftly as it came, the memory floated away. I was awake again, but my eyes still refused to open. Once again, I felt that sensation that sent shivers through my body. Something soft and warm rubbed the sides of my face and trailed down both arms. My breathing felt more steady, and I wasn't shivering like I was before. As soon as I swallowed, my throat stung. I feel more relaxed, but my throat is so sore. Did I sleep with my mouth open? What felt like a hand slid under my neck and gently raised my head upright. Something cold touched my lips. Water? When the cool liquid sloshed into my mouth, I ferociously gulped it down. It slid down my throat, soothing the burn.
Come on! Why can't I open my eyes? Who is this? I have to see. As I tried to open them, my teeth clenched. Tiny pricks pressed into the middle of my palm. My hand. I can clench my fist, at least. Huh? Something covered my fist and squeezed it. Someone's...holding my hand.
Just like that, it was gone. The fog returned, and the feeling floated away. The last thing I remember was being found, but not by an enemy. He called me 'Spitfire.' Was it him?
I thought he just pitied me for being the school reject and was living out some crazy hero complex. So many guys just did it to feel good about themselves, and I was nothing more than a charity case. Jerks. From the day Eli walked me to my classes when school started, I thought that was what I was to him. But despite that, part of me hoped so fervently that it was real.
A memory long pushed aside came to my mind.
Lindsey had cornered me with half a dozen of her flunkies. Everyone was gone, and she picked the one place behind the old supply building with no cameras or staff around. She stood over me with that sadistic smirk as her pawns jumped on me. My ears bled with the discord of my favorite shirt ripping open and the sneering laughter from all around, snuffing out any hope that someone would hear me scream. All I saw was red, blurred by the betraying tears that spilled from my eyes, and I was left wondering what I had done to be where I was. Why was it me? And why like this? Always like this?
The mocking voices resounded in my ears until they faded with the sunlight. I thought it was my imagination when I heard the pounding of footsteps echoing off the concrete walls. They were coming so fast like they were running. Was someone still here? Then I heard it. Someone was yelling my name. I couldn't speak, but I was yelling back in my mind, "I'm here!" I wondered why in the world he was there so late. My legs swung freely as he picked me up and carried me to the nurse's office; all the while, I said nothing. He spared me by joking about how injured he'd get when parkouring or dirt biking while he carefully cleaned my scrapes and iced my bruises. I felt like a complete child. I wasn't his responsibility. Yet, here he was, taking care of me. No one else at this school cared about my well-being, so why did he? What did he stand to gain? I couldn't make sense of it. I didn't have the words. From the time he helped me on the back of his bike to walking me up to my door, the words wouldn't come out. All I could get out was a mere "Thank you."
It was gone. A sharp throbbing distorted the image, and it was gone.
My head split as a bright fog crept on the edges of my vision. "Uuuuuuh. My head...huh?" Oww! My head is pounding. Wait, that's my voice! Can I speak?
I scrunched my eyes before trying to open them again. A small shaft of dim light appeared from the fog, the first seemingly real thing I'd seen in this black abyss. Finally, I can open them! It's...dark, but not blackness like my dreams, like nighttime. Blurry with sleep, I rubbed my eyes to clear away the fog. The only light emanated from a tiny window above my head. Who's room is this? And how did I get here? I couldn't see much except a faint yellow glow on my right. The light turned out to be a small lamp on the side table beside me.
Just as I thought, it was just a dream again—a long, twisted dream.
Leaning forward to sit up, my head throbbed angrily. My hand involuntarily touched my forehead, my fingers brushing the soft fabric. If I'm not dreaming, why does this look like my room? This was like my dream when those Shadow creatures attacked me and that guy. Wait, my room had a window on the right side, and my door was just right of my bed. Where am I? I look like a mummy with all these bandages around me. Wait, hold on! Who changed my clothes?
A slight ache flared in my right shoulder, forcing me to switch arms. It, too, was wrapped tightly in bandages.
"Ow. Owww," my voice croaked, and my throat stung as if I had slept with my mouth open. "Geez, my head is killing me, and why does my shoulder hurt? Maybe I when I fell off Banter?" Then where are my slugs? "Banter? Banter, are you okay," I whispered hoarsely, "If you're here, I really need you right now!"
Footsteps! Someone's coming!
Laying myself back down under the blanket, I rolled onto my side, covering my head slightly with my back to the door. It's pretty stupid and clique, but just to be safe. Whoever they were, they took the time to take care of me. They must not want to hurt me, right? Why am I getting flashbacks to Stephen King's Misery? I just had to read a book about this situation!
I held my breath as the door creaked open on squeaky hinges. The footsteps are heavy, so it has to be a guy. Slow my breathing so he thinks I'm still asleep.
"Miss? Miss, you awake?" A husky voice rumbled, and boasted a burly owner! My heart dropped in the pit of my stomach! He sounds huge! "Hmm, she must still be asleep." The warmth of his breathing was so close I could practically turn over to meet his eyes. What's he going to do? What felt like the curves of knuckles rested ever so slightly on my cheek. I heard him mumble something to himself. I thought he said 'at least her fever is gone.' Only a few moments later, the click of the door closing prompted me to breathe normally again.
That was close! Okay! Think. If Banter isn't here, he must be in another room. I have to find him!
Scooting to the side of the bed, my right leg tingled as my feet found the cool floor in the dark. Tapping it a few times gently, I braced myself as I stood up. One step toward the door, and I started to wobble. I stuck out my right foot to steady myself, but it slid right out from under me, landing hard on my right elbow! I bit my lip hard not to cry out, my mouth tasting like iron!
Oww! Crap! They definitely heard that! What do I do?!
On cue, I heard footsteps beyond the door approaching the room! They're not going to believe that I was still asleep. Where do I go? What do I do?
The door swung open. My eyes shot up from the floor, the golden light illuminating a tall figure with dark hair and glistening blue eyes. Those eyes! No way! I staggered back, my head knocking against the bed frame.
I recoiled and ducked under the bed, scrambling with both feet as far from the edge of the bed as I could. That fall sure felt real. Crap, what do I say? What do I do?
"Whoa, whoa. Hey, take it easy, Kida." That voice! I froze.
I can't breathe! What is happening right now? Is it really him this time? What do I say? "Hey, hey. It's okay, Kida. Just calm down. Don't pass out on me now."
"Where am I, and what's going on?" It's like my dream. It's happening.
I crumpled into a ball, like a child afraid of a thunderstorm. My eyes shut as I heard a soft thumping on the floor as he crouched on his knees beside the bed.
"Kida, please come out. You don't have to be scared. It's just me."
I haven't been safe since I got to this place! I've been chased, shot at, kidnapped. I can't even remember part of the time since I first got here. Where am I? And why is my head killing me!? My head and elbow throbbed angrily. I rubbed my elbow gently so I could start forgetting about it.
"Kida, please listen to me," he said, almost pleadingly in such a soft voice,"I can tell you're scared, but you're safe now."
This has to be him. It's silly, but it feels so surreal. I've only ever imagined and daydreamed of hearing his voice again.
"I know you've got a lot of questions, and I can tell a lot's happened to you. I want to hear all about ALL of it, Kida. Can you come on out so you can-"
I scrunched my eyes closed, not wanting to hear anymore. "No, I can't!"
"Why not?"
"Just stop! I'm sick of having dreams of you and you not being there! In the end, it's never you!" I could feel tears welling up in my eyes.
"Kida..." his voice stifled weakly. "You're not dreaming. I'm really here, and I am with you. If you come on out, you can see for yourself."
All I can think about is when I dreamed about him in my room. Everything played out so close to this. The creepy way he grabbed me and the words coming out of his mouth as that "creature" stood over me...
"Hey! I can prove it! Look, Kida!"
Betrayed by my curiosity, I opened my eyes. His hand extended towards me, something silver glinting in his hands.
"I recognized it right away when I saw it. I knew you were here somewhere."
"Where did you find that?!"
"You did get it for me." Is this really happening? This is not some dream or illusion. Is this real? Ugh. Then that means I'm hiding from him under a bed like a gremlin. How embarrassing.
"Eli..."
"Look at me, Kida."
I locked eyes with him. A weak smile spread across his face, the gold light dancing in his pupils. He could always make you grin because he was always grinning so much himself. In school, I thought it was him being cocky and smug. I couldn't tell if they were happy or sad at that moment because his eyes were never sad. Not Eli. In all that time I saw him, Eli never cried. All I did know was that those eyes were unmistakable. Everything in my gut told me it was him. So many times, I imagined what words I would say to him if I ever saw him again, and now none of them were coming to mind.
"I promise you're not dreaming. Come on, it's not very comfortable down there on the floor. Why don't you come out so we can talk?"
I scooted closer, my hand slipping into his. His fingers were calloused but so warm and strong. I was grateful for the support as my legs were still pricking with pins and needles. Even when I sat on the side of the bed, he still didn't let go of my hand. His grip is tight. My heart is jumping out of my chest, and my stomach is doing summersaults!
"First things first. I heard that thump earlier, and knowing you, I thought you may have fallen. Did you land on your shoulder?"
"Yeah," I almost whispered, my voice still hoarse.
He leaned close and pressed his hand over it in different places gingerly. "Good. It looks like you only sustained some minor trauma to the muscles, but you should be okay. You just need to take it easy. You also had a minor concussion when you hit your head. Here, drink some water."
He handed me a glass, which I gulped down immediately. The cold moisture soothed the sting in my throat.
"Minor concussion? Sure didn't feel minor when my head hit the ground."
"Other than your shoulder and head wound, you seem okay. From all these injuries, I can tell you've been through a lot since you first got here. I'm just so thankful that you're here and you're safe."
What do I say? Does he expect me to act like everything is cool and we haven't been apart for months?
"Kida Kirkwood with nothing to say?"
That wasn't funny. "Believe me, Eli. There is so much to say that, I don't even know where to start." I didn't hide the hostility in my tone, but I didn't have the energy to argue with him. I felt like I had slept for a long time but didn't gain any rest. It was like I was awake the entire time.
"Hey, no need to rush. How about we start with, how are you feeling? Can I get you anything to eat?"
As if in response, my stomach growled. My face felt warm, and my gaze dropped to the floor. Eli smiled, but he didn't laugh. "It figures. You were asleep for a while."
"How long?"
"Three days."
What? Three days?!
"You spiked a high fever and were were in and out of consciousness until now. It finally broke yesterday, but you still wouldn't wake up. You really worried me for a while when I found you buried under all that dirt and brush, miles away from here. How long were you out there in the rain?"
"I don't know. It was lighter when I dozed off until the rain woke me up, and Banter kept me..." Then I realized! "Wait! Where are my slugs? Are they okay?"
Eli touched my shoulder gently. "It's okay, Kida, they're fine. They're downstairs getting acquainted with the other slugs."
"Oh, yours?"
"Mine, and my team's."
"You have a team? Like a Shane squad?"
"We're called the Shane Gang."
That must have been one of them who came in to check on me earlier. "I was running from those two stupid guys, Locke and Load. They cornered me close to where Banter and I first landed. I was running from them when I must have hit my head. But after that, I can't really remember d mup until I was snuck out of town with a masked guy. He didn't tell me who he was, but he save
"Eli..."
"Hmm?"
"Forgive me if I still think this is all just-"
"A dream?" He chuckled, "That headache of yours is real, and my body hasn't disintegrated yet or turned into some weird creature. So I hope that clears up that little assumption." A gentle touch stroked my hand, and I realized I was still holding his hand. I turned my pink face away but wasn't ready to let go yet. His thumb kept brushing my knuckles, sending a warm feeling each time through my body. Is he trying to make me nervous? It feels...weird for him to be doting on my like this.
"Do I spy a little blush on your face?" Eli asked with amusement.
I pulled my hand to let go, but Eli squeezed it in silent refusal.
"I can't tell you how relieved I am to see you. A little worse for wear, maybe, but still in one piece," he smiled, gently patting me on the head and ruffling my hair. His hand is shaking. Is he nervous? What is he thinking about? What might have happened to me?
"I'm just...glad you found me. I've spent the last few days in a fog. Were you the one who was holding my hand and taking care of me?"
"On that note, have you actually dreamt about me?"
Idiot! He just had to open his mouth. "Drop dead."
"Ha. So the Spitfire I know is still in there," he smirked.
"Aside from being slightly banged up, you'll be fine. But what I want to know is, how are you really feeling?"
How can I answer that? I don't know whether I want to strangle him, interrogate him for answers about "everything," hug him, yell at him, or cling to him and never let go! There's so much I want to tell him and so many questions that I want to ask him. But right now, it doesn't feel like the time to express those feelings. He's not off the hook, but I am no longer in danger. I'm okay, and I am not alone.
Before I could speak, a flash echoed in my mind from when I was wandering in the thick fog of my fever.
"While I was fevering, I did have this one dream I remember, but it was mostly a memory. That time when Lindsey and her harpies cornered me after hours. They beat the living crap out of me, and you came to help me. You still see me as battered and banged up as when you accidentally stepped on my hand. Why are you always cleaning my cuts and icing my bruises?"
Eli snorted, almost sarcastically. "Isn't obvious? I care about you an awful lot, and I hate seeing you hurt. You're my friend, after all."
A friend that you left behind, without so much as an explanation or proper good-bye. My eyes found the floor again. Right.
"Ohhhhhh, yeah." Eli winced, his face creased with a painful look,"I owe you a pretty massive apology, don't I?" Shoot! Did I say that out loud!?
"Eli...I"
"No Kida, let me say this, please." I nodded. "Can you look at me?"
Eli had been sitting at my side and I turned on the bed to face him. "Kida, there is so much I want to say to you. But, what I want to say first is, I am so sorry, that I didn't tell you I was leaving."
"So, you never intended to tell me the truth?" I whispered.
"No, Kida! I wanted to tell you, and I had a feeling if anyone would understand the truth, you would. But-" his words trailed off, as if he was trying to think through his next words. It seemed like he himself was not prepared for this conversation either.
"But...what?" I prompted for him to continue.
"I'm sure you can understand, this entire world is a secret. There are things that my dad even kept secret from me, and he forbid me from talking about this place. I didn't know how to tell you, without breaking my promise to him."
You could have said SOMETHING, without spilling your secret! My hands clenched to keep from interrupting him, all my thoughts and feelings running rampant through my head as he spoke.
"Does your 'Shane Gang' know about where we came from?"
Eli's shoulders slumped with a sharp exhale. Eyes closed, he shook his head slowly. A silence settled over the both of us, both of us seemingly unsure of what to say next. So many thoughts were running through my head. Some of them were angry from all the pain I felt of never really knowing of what happened to him. I always wondered what he was thinking when he didn't show up to school and never replied to any of my text messages or calls. I felt so sad, because he had been carrying around guilt for his actions all this time. He didn't tell me out of loyalty to his father, and on the flip side, why in the world would I believe him if he did tell me? I'm sure I would have assumed he was pulling my leg, like anyone else would at first. The more I thought and puzzled, I started to feel guilty for only thinking about my feelings. All the time I spent stewing on my pain and misery, and for what? The bitterness I felt
I stared down at my hands, and noticed that I had scooted closer to Eli. My eyes blinked, as they started to feel heavy. "Is that why you left me Banter? And that copy of your dad's letter? So I could find you?"
Eli whispered,"It was the only way that I could think of. I didn't tell you, so I technically didn't break my promise to my dad. And, it worked."
"I guess I did. I wouldn't let you get away with it that easily," I murmured, my thoughts becoming more and more fragmented by the moment. Not yet, I can't be tired already. I just woke up.
"Still kind of crazy, since you were the one who came looking for me this time, right?" Eli said, amusement clearly evident in his voice.
My mind was growing foggier, as I felt myself lean into his arm."You jerk. Like I would let you get away with...with leaving..." I'm not ready. There is so much I still need to ask him.
I dozed off, and couldn't remember when I fell asleep exactly. But unlike the restless coma I had been in for the past three days, I slept through the whole night. I drifted off with numerous wonderings of what tomorrow would bring, and all the unanswered questions I had. What would his new friends be like and what would they think of me? What comes after this? All questions that could be answered tomorrow.
However, before my mind was lost in sleep, Eli said something to me that left me with a puzzling feeling in my gut. As my head tapped his shoulder, his hand squeezed mine and he whispered,"You're safe now, Kida. You don't have to be scared anymore."
Well my friends, I know it's about time! My world has been turned upside down numerous times throughout this year! Updates will be slow with my new job and numerous responsibilities, but I will NEVER give up on this story! As I'm writing this, I am currently sick with strep throat, but it gave me an excuse to finally finish this labor of love! I've working on this chappie for a while, and writers' block has not helped! Did it live up to the hype that I've been building? What did ya'll think? I would love to hear all your thoughts! Until next time, stay creative and thank you for all your continued support! ^^