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Writer's Notes: Hang on tight everyone! There are going to be some crazy things and shake ups happening and I hope everyone enjoys them as much as I have. I have been working really hard on the story and have a pretty solid outline for it since some stuff got shifted this week. Thank you so much Des for being my soundboard this week as I rewrite some parts and get it all figured out so the story can flourish! I couldn't do this without you! Thank you Roxy for editing my nonsense. *smiles* I also couldn't do this without you. Love you ladies! *hugs* As always, I appreciate all of you! You guys are the best and without any of you guys, I wouldn't be able to put out stories like this. I hope everyone enjoys the next several chapters. Don't forget to follow, favorite and leave reviews!

[Alexandria]

"The walkers learning to talk is a problem." Jasper agreed. He listened to Michonne as she explained about the sightings of the walkers whispering. Negan didn't like how the wildlife was dropping off like it was. It was cold outside, the snow on the ground kept smaller game animals away, but deer would be plentiful at least at this point in the season.

Bella perched her hands on her hips as she listened to Michonne explain the walker situation. "We haven't heard the walkers whispering. We don't get a lot of walkers around here honestly. There are some that come through, but all in all, it's been rather peaceful." She explained. "But something has to be driving the wildlife away. I know that walkers are also a predator and we've seen walkers eating on a deer or something before, but to cause this big of a drop in population?" She shook her head. "Something doesn't seem right."

"Well, we'll have hilltop bring a cow. I know it's not much, I think we just had a slaughter recently, so we'll have more beef raised by summer." Negan said and scratched his chin as he thought. "There's not room here for a couple of cows?" He asked. He hadn't explored Alexandria. They were standing in the front by the gates. Deanna hadn't made it out to them yet, which was surprising. She was usually more upbeat, but since Aiden died, she took it hard.

Rick didn't like that Negan was here. He just wanted him gone. "We're at capacity right now. The greenhouses take up space. We don't have a cleared area to put a pasture to house some cows. We have the chicken coop, but we maintain it for eggs." He said, his tone a little more clipped than he intended.

Negan glanced at Bella and then back at Rick. He knew that Rick was her husband, or whatever he was to Bella. "Okay. Well, the hilltop is about twenty miles East of here. So it's not too big of a hassle. Their leader is Greg, he's…something, but I'll have you deal with Jesus, he's more…well, he's something else too, but he'll be easier to communicate with." He said and Michonne nodded her agreement.

Bella didn't like Rick's tone, but she ignored it for now. She glanced up when she saw Carl. "Hey, what's up?"

"Hey mom can I stay over Jessie and Jasper's? Me and Sam were going to put together that lego thing." Carl asked.

Bella smiled. "Sure. Rick?"

Rick nodded and ruffled Carl's hair. "Sure son. Don't stay up too late." He said passively.

Carl smiled and then he hugged Bella. "Thanks mom."

Bella nodded and kissed the top of his head. "Oh, check and see if Ana is okay watching Aya for a little bit longer. Carol is busy right now." She called after him.

Carl waved and smiled and jogged back towards the houses.

Negan watched the interaction. He was confused about Carl calling Bella mom, though it was clear that Carl was Rick's son and that Bella was a surrogate for him. He admired Bella for that. He always knew that she would make a fantastic mother, and that hurt his heart a little, thinking about not being able share that experience with her. "Well, it's getting dark out. Do y'all mind if we crash here before we head out back to DC?" He asked, looking at Bella.

Jasper spoke. "Yeah. Stay with me and Jess. We'll be happy to accommodate you Lieutenant." He said with a smile.

Rick's jaw clenched tight, but he nodded. "Alright. Bella, can I talk with you?" He asked and she nodded.

"Alright guys, we'll figure out the walker situation later. We'll just have to play that by ear. Maybe it's not all the walkers…only select few." She said and Michonne and Negan nodded. Bella smiled at them and then left with Rick, walking back towards the house. "What's wrong?" Bella asked when they were far enough away.

Rick sighed and stopped. "Did you have to bring him here?"

"What?"

"Negan."

"We're doing a trade for a cow Rick. That's food. We need that. Daryl isn't exaggerating. The deer are scarce and so are other wild game. We have to make it through the rest of winter." Bella said reasonably.

Rick shook his head. "Sometimes you forget who is leading this group." He grumbled.

Bella raised a brow. "What?"

"You heard me." He snapped out.

Bella shook her head. "We've always done things together Rick-"

"Exactly. And you brought him here." Rick said and then he just turned and walked off, leaving Bella dumbfounded in the street.

Bella ran her hands over her face and turned and headed back towards the clinic. She wanted to check on some things before she turned in for the night. She wanted to make sure Deanna was okay, and wanted to be sure that everyone was at their watch stations for the night. She stopped outside the clinic when she saw Negan walking over after saying something to Michonne and Jasper. She smiled a little at him. "What do you think?"

"About what?" Negan asked with a grin.

"About Alexandria."

Negan nodded, smiling. "It's great. You have security, you have houses with electricity. You have a lot of things the shitty compound doesn't have." He said with a half laugh. He paused to stare at her. "So your boy…he's what…fourteen?"

"Almost." Bella said with a nod. "Carl. He's Rick's son, but after his mother died…I became that person for him." She said and looked towards her house and then back at Negan. "Rick…I'm sorry for earlier."

Negan raised a brow, amused. "Apologizing for your husband? Is he normally like this?"

Bella shook her head. "Not always, but he's…he doesn't care for you."

"Why? I don't recall every meeting him before today."

"He knows about what happened in DC." Bella said, her voice low.

Negan nodded, understanding. "I suppose I can understand that. I am sorry for what happened…I didn't…I didn't know you were married Bella." He admitted.

Bella swallowed. "We're not really married. I made a promise to get married, but we haven't…done a ceremony or…said any other vows." She didn't know why she had to make that known, but she did. "Well, I have a few things to do before I go get some sleep. If you need anything…I'm sure Jasper can help out." She said and then she stepped back from him and walked inside the clinic, leaving Negan outside. She went towards the storage closet and just started counting things. But that didn't seem to take her mind off anything Negan related. She soon found herself falling into a flashback.

Nighttime in Kuwait was still hot. It didn't matter if the sun was down. Bella went to her sleeping quarters on the base. She unbuttoned the front of her uniform and shrugged it off. She was wearing a white tank top underneath. The sweat clung to her body, and she was looking forward to a quick shower and then sleep after a long day on base. It was a tough day for her. She had to take the arm off a child because they ran into a mine field and half the leg got blown off. Her shoulders were stiff, and tense and she needed some sort of relaxation. There was a slight knock at the door, so she went and opened it. She smiled at Negan. He was wearing the blue NWUs that she saw him in earlier. He grinned at her, leaning in the doorway.

"Miss me?" Negan asked his dark eyes were flirty and so was his tone.

Bella made a humming noise. "I always miss you when you're not here." She said and then grabbed his hand and pulled him inside the room. She shut the door, and her mouth immediately met his. She was always wanting to rush but he slowed it down. The kiss turning into foreplay as he slowly ran his hands over her body. It was a tease, but she shuddered when he touched her. His mouth left hers to kiss her throat, his tongue tracing the crook in her neck. She shivered, her breath hitching a little. He slowly untucked her white tank top, his hot hands running over her flat belly to her sides and ran up, caressing her breasts gently. His mouth moved to hers again and he kissed her deeply, his tongue melting with hers gathering a throaty moan from her.

Negan shifted a little, moving with her back towards her bed. His hands moved back down to her hips, and he gripped her there as he gently pushed her down onto her bed. He leaned up to lean down and took her combat boots off, pulling the laces quickly and slipping them off. His hands moved over her feet, and he pressed, massaging the pressure points and she sighed pleasantly. He smiled as he moved back to her pants, unfastening them and sliding them off. He took the time to massage her calves and she sighed again pleasantly. He brushed his fingers against her skin barely and she shivered as he trailed up her leg and to the inside of her thigh. His touch was so sensual, so intimate and it provoked a lot of emotion in her. His hand moved over her panties, going to the band, and pulling them off. Her arousal was evident because of the slickness between her legs. His fingers teased over her hard clit, and she moaned a little. He rolled his finger over her cunt again and she moaned again. Negan's mouth moved to the inside of her thigh, his tongue raking against her thigh, and she shivered again. When his mouth went to her wet cunt she moaned and gasped. His tongue drew circles, building a sensation in her that she never wanted to stop. Negan used two fingers to push inside her while his mouth pleasured her at the same time.

He built her up, backing off a little to expand the pleasure. It made her whimper when he paused but his hand played while he leaned up to unfasten his own pants. Her eyes opened to watch him as he stood and took his uniform off. His hard chest showcased a little hair and then the dark trail that disappeared down made her excited. He didn't take any more time to get completely naked before he joined her on the bed. His mouth sought her dripping cunt again, his hands gentle on her thighs as he pushed her legs apart more. She moaned, her hands diving in to comb through his dark hair. She felt the tingling pleasure build inside her more and more, her legs quivering now as her orgasm breached the surface. When she came she gasped and moaned out his name and he kept pushing on, making her entire body quake with the pleasure. He shifted again, leaning up and stroking his really hard cock. He hooked her legs up onto his shoulders as he pushed himself at her entrance. He rubbed the tip of his cock against her wetness and watched her vibrate beneath him. He teased her more and she moaned, begging him to be inside her. He slid inside, pushing all the way, his cock disappearing into her tight warmth and she moaned.

"Mmm. Baby you feel so wet and nice." Negan breathed out. He shifted his hips slow, each stroke was intentional and it pushed her over the edge of her waterfall and she came hard over his cock. He felt her gush and it sucked him in more, the head of his cock pushing against her cervix and she gasped and moaned, her hands tightening in the sheets.

"Oh God! Oh God!" She shrilled as he picked up his pace. It was the magic spot for her. The one spot that made everything feel different. It was a new level of pleasure for both of them. Negan moaned too as he pushed faster and faster. She wailed some more as she continued to orgasm and he could see her cum around his cock as he thrust inside her. Excitement lit inside him and he sunk his hips deep, his cock swallowed now by her cervix. It was the deepest he ever felt with her and he didn't know why. His cock throbbed for a release, swelling tight and leaking out some as he plunged. He felt the first strand of his release and so he pushed deep inside her, sinking in far and he came. Bella moaned loud as she felt his seed fill her up. A new sensation rolling over her. She didn't want him to stop. She bucked her hips and Negan moaned, his cock still jumping inside her. He was still cumming and it wouldn't stop. He moved his hips a little to satisfy her need for him to keep going. His sensitive cock sent thrills through him and stayed hard as he continued to thrust.

"Oh baby." Negan moaned as he felt his cock swell more as if he didn't cum so much already. He thrust faster and faster her moans like music to him until he shuddered, his cock emptying out again, deep inside her.

He stilled, letting every drop fill her up. He was breathing hard, his heart pounding in his chest. This was a new level of intimacy for them both. He had never cum inside her before now and now, he had done it twice. Bella opened her eyes to look up at him. They were swirled with emotion. With love. He slid out of her now and lay beside her in the bed. They were both quiet but she rolled against him, leaning up to look down at him. Her beautiful blue-green eyes studied him. She smiled and leaned in, kissing him softly. It was slow, their tongues sliding against each other with exact purpose.

When the kiss broke, Negan spoke. "I love you so god damn much." He reached a hand up and brushed her hair back out of her face.

Bella smiled and bit her lip. "I love you too. So fucking much."

Negan grinned. "Baby...this was magical." He whispered.

Bella nodded. "It was truly the best. Our souls, united." She said and then she straddled him her hands lacing with his and she pushed them above his head. She kissed his jaw and then his throat. "You make me hungry for you...all the time. I want you, only you...forever." she said as she leaned up to look into his eyes. Her dark hair had come loose from its bun and it fell around them like a dark curtain.

Negan's cock hardened beneath her. It was surprising he could even go a third time but his soul and heart wanted to unite with her again. "I want you Bella...for eternity. You are my soulmate." He whispered and then she was lifting up to slide back down over his cock. A mix of their previoua orgasms sliding over him again. She bounced, dancing her hips slow at first and moaned. His hands went to her hips as she leaned back, picking up her pace as she chased more pleasure and another orgasm.

Negan's body vibrated with pleasure as she rode him. His cock swelling harder as she went on. It didn't take long for her orgasm to roll over her and then onto him before he was deep inside her cavern, his seed bathing her again. She came to a stop, panting but she leaned down her head resting on his chest his cock still twitching inside her.

They were silent as they let themselves calm down again.

Negan spoke. "Baby. You might be pregnant after tonight." He said, his fingers lightly danced over her skin on her back. She leaned up to look down at him.

"And if I am?"

"Then that will be the second-best day of my life."

"Why the second?"

"The first day is when you marry me." Negan said with a grin.

"Lieutenant...are you asking me to marry you?" Bella said with a playful tone.

Negan chuckled and flipped her in the bed, getting a giggle out of her. "Yes, Captain Swan. I am asking you to be my wife." He leaned in and kissed her. "Ring is in my pocket of my pants." He murmured against her lips.

Bella smiled and kissed him, her tongue leaping out to grab his and she felt happiness swell inside her. "I'll marry you." She promised.

Bella shook her head as she heard Daryl call her name. She blinked and looked over at Daryl. "What?"

"T Dogg is settled on watch and so is Mags and Tyrese. I came in here because I saw the light on. You good?" Daryl could tell when she was in one of her flashbacks.

Bella nodded. "Yeah, just um. I was just checking on things here. You going to bed?"

"Yeah. Come on. I'll walk back with you." Daryl said and he saw Bella hesitate, but she gave in and she decided to walk back with Daryl back to the house.

Bella woke up feeling mildly nauseous and any sort of touch to her boobs was painful. She instantly knew that this was all symptoms for pregnancy, so she slid out of bed. Rick was still sleeping beside her and she went to the bathroom, opening the cabinet under the sink and pulled a test out. She took the test and waited in silence for the test to finish. When it was, she looked at it. There was a plus size, meaning she was pregnant. She smiled a little and put a hand over her belly. There was life inside her and that thrilled her and scared her at the same time. She pocketed the test and she washed her hands before getting ready to go out in the morning. She found Jasper out at the gate with Negan and they seemed to be concerned.

"What's going on?"

"Looks like a herd shuffling through." Jasper said, looking up at Bella when she walked up. "Spoke too soon I suppose."

Bella frowned. "They're not coming this way?"

"No, looks like they're blocking my way back to DC, so we're stuck here until they move past." Negan said and looked at Bella, noticing that she seemed to be a little more pale than normal, but he didn't say anything.

"Well, you and Michonne can stay as long as you would like. It's not a problem." Bella said and looked at Jasper. "I need you for a moment." She said and Jasper slapped Negan's shoulder and walked towards the clinic with Bella. Once inside, Bella handed him the positive pregnancy test.

Jasper looked at it and smiled. "Oh wow. This is great news. How late are you?"

"Um. Not sure, you know how I am." Bella said with a shrug. "But we have the portable ultrasound machine."

"We do." Jasper said with a grin. "Come on. Let's take a look." He said and they went into one of the rooms and he pulled the portable ultrasound machine inside. She got on the table and lifted her shirt up and rolled down her pants so he could roll the wand around.

Bella felt her nerves light up. She was nervous that this was a false positive or something was wrong. So many things went through her head, but she stayed quiet and tried to calm herself.

Jasper looked at the small monitor and smiled when he found the sac for the baby. "Yeah, pretty early. Probably five weeks." He said and shifted the machine a little for Bella to see. She leaned forward a little to look and he saw her eyes light up. "Faint heartbeat, it's still early but it's growing and in the right place. I can't print on this thing, but we will keep doing ultrasounds. Congrats Bella. I know you've been wanting this for a while now."

Bella teared up a little and leaned up. "Thanks Jazz." Her voice was soft. She reached up and swiped the happy tears away. She cleared her throat a little. "Okay. Well, keep this…a secret for now. I'll need you to handle more runs because I can't go and do them now."

"I have your back, one hundred percent." Jasper reassured and then he hugged her tight. "I love you. What are big brothers for?" He said and kissed her cheek.

Bella laughed a little and kissed his cheek back. "Come on, let's make rounds before the day starts to get away from us." She said and the two walked out of the clinic. The cold air was comforting sometimes to Bella. It made her think about home. She moved around a lot but Washington State had been home for the longest stretch. The winters were always her favorite because she liked how the snow looked on the ground. She took a moment to just enjoy the quiet until she heard shouting and arguing. It snapped her and Jasper's attention and they ran towards the shouting.

Negan was trying to be more reserved, his hands up in a non-threatening way, but Rick was yelling at him.

"I don't give a fuck if there is a herd of walkers. I don't want you here." Rick yelled at Negan.

"Whoa, man, listen, it's a longer stretch into DC, I don't have the men or the resources to fight through a herd that size right now." Negan reasoned. He was being reasonable for Bella's sake. If it wasn't for Bella, he would have knocked Rick out the instant he shoved him the first time. He was trying to stay calm because he didn't want to start anymore trouble for Bella.

Bella and Jasper made it to the two men and Bella tried to stop it, putting a hand up between the two, but Rick didn't care, he pushed past Bella and slammed his fist into Negan's jaw. Rick's push to Bella made her fall the wrong way and she landed on her stomach on the stones that ringed a small flower garden hidden with the snow. The slippery ground was mostly to blame for her unable to keep her footing. Instant pain shot through her, she was sure she was bleeding as the jagged edge of one of the stones poked through her sweater. She felt her body shake as panic shot through her and she felt the onset of cramps wreck through her body.

Jasper went to Bella's aid immediately, because he knew that Negan could handle himself, but he knew that the trauma Bella just sustained was going to be detrimental. "Hey, breathe." He said calmly, his hands moving to help her into a sitting position. Blood stained the snow when Bella sat. "Oh no." He murmured. "Rick! Stop!" Jasper commanded, and Rick stopped short to look at Bella sitting on the ground bleeding. "Bella, does it hurt?"

Bella nodded, tears rushing to the surface. "Jasper…it hurts a lot." She whispered as she shook.

Jasper nodded. "Okay. I'm going to carry you. I know it hurts, but I'm going to help you. Take some even, deep breaths."

Rick moved to go to Bella's side. "Where is the blood coming from?" He tried to inspect her, but Jasper shifted to pull Bella into his arms.

Jasper looked at Rick. "She's having a miscarriage Rick." He growled and he walked off with Bella towards the clinic.

Rick looked back at the blood stained snow and then mechanically walked towards the clinic after them.

Negan was stunned. He didn't even know she was pregnant. Why would she be outside the wall if she was? Unless she just found out. He felt sick in his stomach. Bella was going through another horrible experience. Losing a child. It pained his heart to think about her going through this. He walked towards the clinic too, because he had to be sure that she was okay.

Rick ran a hand through his hair. "Baby, I'm so sorry. I didn't know you were pregnant. You said yesterday that it was negative and then you went out to DC."

Bella lay on her back in the room on the table while Jasper confirmed that she was in fact losing the baby. Her shirt was off and she was laying there in her bra while Jasper moved to her stomach where the rock had gashed her some. It was mostly superficial, but it required a few stitches.

Negan hovered in the doorway, his dark eyes landing on her, seeing her in such a fragile state shattered him.

Bella's eyes found Negan and she felt the pain of not only losing the baby she was carrying now, but the one with Negan back in Kuwait. She had to look away and she looked at Rick, who was looking mildly panicked. "Rick." She croaked out.

Rick reached for her hand and took it in his and squeezed it. "I'm so sorry baby." His voice was tight.

Bella studied him. "Get out." She managed to say. "I can't right now." She pulled her hand from his.

Rick's brows furrowed together. "What?"

"I want you to get out." Bella said, choking up a little. "Go!" She said, raising her voice a little more.

Rick stepped back, tears coming to the surface, but he turned and saw Negan and he was angry again. Angry that he was hovering, angry that he was there. It was his fault that Bella was like this right now. But he pushed past Negan and walked out of the clinic.

Negan stepped inside, but kept his distance. "I'm sorry." His voice was quiet.

Bella wiped at her face and looked at Negan. "It's not your fault."

"Me being here caused this Bella. I take responsibility for that." Negan said.

Jasper finished the sutures on her stomach and then he went to a cabinet and grabbed a sheet to cover Bella, but he helped get her pants off. Negan turned away to give her privacy. Jasper inspected her, the hemmoraging wasn't so bad. She was five weeks pregnant so she was cramping mostly right now. He sighed. "Okay. I'm going to give you some medicine. We have some stuff here, but this is going to just be crampy…like a normal cycle. You were five weeks, so very early." He said and stood again and went to wash his hands. "I'll go get you some clothes to change into." He said and nodded to Negan before he left.

Negan swallowed and went to her side. He reached a hand down and grabbed hers and gave her a little squeeze. "Um. I'll leave. It's probably best…for you and for your family if I don't come around often."

"No. I don't want you to leave. If we're going to do trades…and if we're going to survive this world. We need to stick together." Bella said.

Negan brough her hand up to his lips and kissed it gently. "You're in a lot of pain…"

"IT's just pain." Bella said, her blue-green eyes were passive now. She just wanted this to be over. He was so used to the pain of loss. When Aya was born she was so shocked that she survived, but she still always expected the worse outcome with anything. That way her hopes were never crushed. "I'll survive." She said with a nod. "You should go eat something…explore, but stay clear of Rick. He'll probably be upset for a while. It took us so long to get pregnant…so…"

Negan nodded. "Alright. Yeah, I'll go grab some chow. Rest." He murmured and then he dropped her hand and left the clinic. So much emotion filled him right now. Anger at Rick for even pushing Bella. He was angry at himself because of what happened in DC. But mostly he was angry with himself for not fighting for her back in Kuwait. Instead she ran away from him and their promise. He let her and he blamed himself for that the most. But he was hurt, his heart felt like it was been squeezed tightly, and it was because he had to watch the woman he loved, hurt…and go through this pain without him. He had to watch the woman he loved, be with another man. It stung him, and cut him deep to his core, but he was a strong man. He knew that this wasn't the end. He respected Bella a lot and he would never jeopardize her safety intentionally. He walked towards the house Jasper lived in. He knew there he would find Michonne and likely Jessie, Jasper's girl, making some sort of breakfast.