Louise insisted that Tina's graveside service be family only. As in just the four remaining Belchers. Initially Bob had protested the decision. Just because he wanted to have big celebrations for Tina. At least with the entire family and her close friends, but after the incident the previous evening. Bob was grateful for the smaller service. Grateful that any drama would be avoided. Linda was hungover the morning of the burial, but after over a week of drinking morning to night. She wore it slightly better than she had in the first days. Gene was quiet. Come to think of it he had barely spoken a word since Tina's death. Louise was utterly silent and seemed even smaller than usual. Bob was exhausted physically and mentally. The burial wasn't anything special. Gene and Louise were supposed to perform again but after having the original copy of the poem destroyed. Louise refused to even consider reading it again. Instead, they played a Boyz 4 Now song about loss.
Girl you weren't in class today.
Oh, I missed you today.
Asked the teacher where you were.
She said somebody you loved died.
Well at first, I thought that she lied.
Well, you asked why? Why?
Well don't you know?
Die rhymes with cry!
Went to your house.
Your dad answered the door.
He had tears in his eyes.
You weren't up for guests.
Cause somebody you
Loved died!
Well, you asked why? Why?
Well don't you know?
Die rhymes with cry!
Went suit shopping with my mom.
I wanted to buy a video game!
But the suit was more important!
Cause somebody you love died!
Well, you asked why? Why?
Well don't you know?
Die rhymes with cry!
Well, you asked why? Why?
Well don't you know?
Die rhymes with cry!
Don't cry! Yeah, don't cry!
Even though somebody you loved died!
Well, you asked why? Why?
Well don't you know?
Die rhymes with cry!
Well, you asked why? Why?
Well don't you know?
Die rhymes with cry!
The song ended and Louise turned off the CD player. Then Tina's body was lowered into the ground. Linda let out a horrible cry and collapsed into Bob's arms. Bob held Linda close to his chest and gently stroked her hair. He wasn't thrilled with her coping techniques but God he could not imagine how she must be feeling. He was dying inside but he had endured loss before. Linda not so much. Gene buried his face in Linda's side. While Louise watched wordlessly as the casket was lowered and the straps were pulled back. The each dropped a carnation and handful of dirt.
"Tina!" Louise screamed speaking for the first time since the previous evening.
The family departed the cemetery after the burial. Louise looking back at Tina's grave every few steps. Once they were in the car, she stared out the back window not turning away until the cemetery was out of sight. The family was back home again. Linda returned to her sanctuary, the liquor cabinet. Louise guessed Gayle or somebody had done some shopping for Linda. Because the cabinet was nearly full, and it was empty last night. Bob went downstairs to clean. Gene began stuffing his face. OK, it was lunch time, but Louise wondered how Gene could eat so easily. She had been having to make herself eat lately. She ducked into the bathroom and put on some of the cream Bob had bought her the night before. She tossed her clothes into the ever-growing hamper. She had changed her clothes maybe twice since Tina died. Just another thing she could not bring herself to do. She looked down into the basket again. Something was wrong. Tina's horse shirt was missing. It was bad enough when the shirt was stained, but for it to be missing. At least if Louise had let them bury Tina in it, she would know where it was.
Monday was the day the Belchers were expected to go back to normal. "Normal" ha! That didn't exist anymore. Tina was dead and everything was terrible now. Bob and the school had offered Gene and Louise an extra week off. Shockingly Louise turned it down. She actually wanted to return to school. She knew her life would never be the same, but at least if she were at school. She would not be thinking about Tina all day. Reminders of her were all over the school but it still had to be better than home. The apartment was now haunted by Tina's ghost. Living in a haunted house was not what Louise thought it would be. Cabinets and doors were not mysteriously opened. Items left in one room were not found days later in another. It was memories. Everything was tied to Tina. Sometimes she saw Tina's image, but it was not mysterious Ohhhs or dances. Sometimes Tina would be on the couch or Louise would see her go in and out of her room. She prayed the ghost would not follow her to school.
"Are you sure you are ready for this, kids?" Bob asked as they walked down the stairs.
"I guess I mean if Louise is." Gene replied.
"Yeah, I mean I still hate school, but it's got to be better than sitting around the apartment being depressed." Louise replied.
"Hey, I just remembered I left something upstairs. I'll catch up." Gene nervously announced.
"OK we'll go slow." Louise assured.
"Alright well I know you are not exactly Mr. Frond's biggest fan, but he did say his office was open to you anytime." Bob explained.
"Yeah, no way." Louise scoffed.
"OK well I am thinking about getting us all therapy. Your mom especially could use it." Bob replied.
"Fine" Louise scoffed.
"Wait where's Gene? He said he would catch up." Bob commented when they arrived to the car.
"You know he likes to take his time." Louise reminded.
"I'll go tell him to pick up the pace." Bob sighed.
Unlike Louise Gene did not want to return to school. He was hoping Louise would change her mind and decide to stay home. He was only going because he knew Louise was going to need protection and support. He had no idea how to be the oldest. How to be protective. Tina and Louise had always been the protective ones. Yeah, he had protected Louise from Logan that time, but this was different. This wasn't some crazy afternoon. This was forever. It didn't help that Linda had not been sober since returning from the hospital and Bob was just going through the motions. It was just Louise and him against the world right now and that was too much. Linda sat on the couch, a bottle in her hands blankly watching one of the morning talk shows. He grabbed one of the unopened bottles, twisted the cap and poured it into a glass.
"GENE!" Bob called.
Gene panicked and set the glass on the table. He put the blanket back around Linda and turned down the volume on the TV.
"Oh, hey father." Gene greeted nervously.
"You said you would be right back. Is everything OK?" Bob questioned.
"Fine everything is fine. I just noticed mom looked cold." Gene lied.
"Where's the thing you forgot?" Bob asked.
"I lied about leaving something. The truth is. I don't think I am ready to go back just yet." Gene admitted.
"Then why did you tell me you were ready?" Bob inquired.
"Because I did not want Louise to be alone." Gene sighed.
"Gene, Louise has her friends. Rudy and Jessica have been extremely worried about her. They have called at least once a day to check on her. Megan, Kaylee, and Benj too. She has people looking out for her. You need to look out for yourself." Bob explained.
"What if she is mad at me?" Gene asked.
"She will get over it." Bob assured.
"In that case I am staying home." Gene decided.
"OK" Bob replied.
Gene waited until he was sure that Bob was gone. Before picking up the glass again. He held it to his mouth and swigged the liquid down. It tasted nasty. He immediately spat it out. Maybe he just drank it too fast. He poured another glass. This time taking slower sips. It still tasted nasty, but he noticed how Linda was taking sips in tune with him. For the first time in nearly two weeks, he was getting time with his mommy. By the second glass he started feeling lighter. Like his heart was not in ten million pieces. He started drinking fast. Two glasses turned to four then five. Around the sixth glass he felt sick. He wretched all over the living room. He stumbled towards his bedroom but ended up passing out on the living room floor.
Louise was furious with Gene for backing out on her. He knew she couldn't take another day in that apartment, but she also could not handle facing school alone. Bob had again offered to let her stay home. She considered it briefly before deciding that going to school was actually the least painful option. Bob offered to walk her inside, but she declined. It was weird enough being the kid with a dead sister. She didn't need to be the kid whose daddy had to walk her into school.
She stepped through the doors and immediately felt every eye on her. She heard the whispers "That's Tina's sister." "She's back." "Where's Gene?" "So sad." "Is she OK?" "Why isn't she sadder." "I think she' a psychopath."
"Alright show's over! Back to your regularly scheduled before school nonsense!" Louise snapped.
"Hello Louise let me be the first to say. I am so sorry for your loss. Tina was a wonderful student; a great hall monitors and role model to all." Mr. Frond greeted.
"I'm tired of hearing the death script, Philip." Louise scoffed.
"You know Louise I am trying my best." Mr. Frond sighed.
"If you really wanted to do your best. Then you should have told TINA those things when SHE was ALIVE! Not tell ME NOW!" Louise snapped.
"Louise I wasn't expecting this. Nobody could have…" Mr. Frond replied.
"Yeah, Tina wasn't supposed to die at thirteen! So, nobody told her how they felt about her! Now it's too late! I regret that every day and I HOPE you feel the same as I do!" Louise shouted before slamming her locker shut and storming down the hall leaving Mr. Frond flabbergasted.
There were still eight minutes until the warning bell. Before Tina died Louise would be hanging out with her siblings and/or friends. Coming up with schemes and hoping for a super sudden blizzard, but with Tina gone. Nothing really mattered to her anymore. After running away from Frond, she went straight to class.
"Louise I am so sorry." Ms. Labonz apologized.
"Save it" Louise warned.
"Right well I see you've completed most of your assignments. Take your time on the rest." Ms. Labonz replied. The school had sent her and Gene the assignments they'd missed. Of course, they didn't have to do them. They had no hard time limit so long as they were completed by the end of the semester, but Louise had done all but a couple of hers. She was desperate for any distraction during that week and a half at home.
"Thanks" Louise sighed.
"Louise I've never lost a sibling, but I have lost both my parents and one very close friend. It wasn't the same, but he was like a brother to me. So, I know there is nothing I can say or do that will make this better. I just want you to know I am here, and my number is in the Wagstaff directory. Anytime you need to talk. Just reach out." Ms. Labonz explained.
"Thanks" Louise sighed.
The warning bell rang, and students began to file in. She heard a few whispers, got a few "I'm sorrys." She did her best to ignore the whispers. Saying a silent prayer of thanks that Chloe Barbash was apparently out with a stomach virus that day. Chloe was the last thing she needed. "It's OK, Louise! I can be the new Tina! No, I am the new Tina!" Louise looked up to see Millie hanging over her desk. Dressed as Tina! Light blue shirt, dark blue skirt, off brand Chuck Taylor's, what she prayed was a wig with a single yellow barrette, and fake glasses.
"What the hell are you doing, Millie?!" Louise demanded.
"I know you miss Tina and since we are soul sisters anyway. I figured I would take the next step and become the new Tina." Millie explained.
"Wow Millie that's so. Creepy! Seriously what the hell are you thinking?! What could have possibly caused you to think I wanted this? Really! I mean this is actually cruel. My sister is DEAD! She's DEAD! I don't need the school freak to take her place!" Louise ranted.
"I was just trying to help." Millie sniffed.
"That was a little harsh Louise." A girl whispered.
"Millie go take that costume off immediately. If you don't have any extra clothes or your contacts. Please call your mother and have her bring you what you need. Louise, under normal circumstances you would be given detention for such an attack on a classmate but since it's your first day back. I am cutting you a little slack. You may either take a walk around campus to clear your head or go speak with Mr. Frond." Ms. Labonz ordered.
"Yes mam" Millie sighed.
"I'll take the walk." Louise scoffed.
Louise ignored the whispers and stormed out of the classroom, out of the building, and down the front steps. Part of her wanted to just walk off campus and run home. Between the whispers and Millie's little stunt. She did not feel comfortable in that school, but she felt even worse at home.
"Hi Louise" Rudy greeted.
"Oh hey, Rudy. You aren't usually late." Louise replied.
"I couldn't find my inhaler." Rudy explained.
"Ah" Louise replied.
"Louise I am so sorry about Tina. I…I Oh God! It's so tragic! I am so sorry! She was the best hall monitor and I'm sure an even better sister! Why do the good die young?! Why?!" Rudy cried punching the air and sobbing.
Louise rolled her eyes. This was typical Rudy, but it didn't make it any less offensive. Tina was her sister. She was miserable enough without all this over-the-top nonsense and too late kind words. At least Rudy had told Tina he cared when she was still here, but still. She couldn't take anymore. She rolled her eyes once more and returned to class.
The first part of the day passed by in a blur. Before Louise knew it, it was lunchtime. She had made it through half the day. The rest of the class filed to the cafeteria, but she felt too sick to eat. She knew that Frond would be watching her like a hawk that had been bred with an eagle. To produce some kind of eagle-eyed super hawk. With a fake degree. The students wouldn't be much better with the whispers and sorries. Millie who still had her Tina hair and glasses. Because the dye she used took several washes to come out and she just happened to run out of contacts. Rudy with his near asthma attack grief. God that was the last thing she needed. Was for that idiot to have a fatal asthma attack because he missed Tina so much. Instead of the cafeteria. She made her way to the girl's bathroom. Planning to take sanctuary in the handicapped stall until the end of lunch period. She opened the door and stepped inside. Only to be greeted by the sound of another girl crying. Just what she needed. Somebody whining about a break-up, or their outfit being ruined. When she was trying to grieve for her sister. The cries sounded familiar. Like she hadn't heard that girl cry before, but it was a somewhat distinct voice. Did crying count as a voice?
"Tammy?" Louise called softly.
"No! Go away! It's not me! I mean Tammy!" Tammy cried.
"Why are you crying, Tammy?" Louise asked.
"I can't tell you of all people." Tammy sniffed.
"What do you mean?" Louise asked.
"Because I know you totally hate me. Because I was horrible to Tina!" Tammy cried.
"I definitely don't like you but what does that have to do with anything?" Louise questioned.
"I miss Tina! OK! I've been absolutely devastated since Tina died! I have been like crying nonstop!" Tammy sobbed.
"You are sad about, Tina?" Louise gasped.
"Yes! I liked her OK! I know I bullied her, and I know that was wrong." Tammy replied.
"Then why did you do it?" Louise questioned.
"Because I was jealous of her! OK?!" Tammy snapped.
"Why would you be jealous of Tina?" Louise demanded sometimes she envied Tina, but she had no idea why a rich girl like Tammy would be jealous of Tina.
"Because she had you and Gene for siblings and you guys are amazing. You always had her back. You loved and supported her. I didn't know your parents as well. I stayed with you last spring break and they catered for my Bat Mitzvah, but I still didn't really know them. Still, they seemed so supportive and loving. Then she was so self-confident. I am an only child, and my parents don't care. About me and I am so insecure." Tammy explained.
"OK I get that but why didn't you just tell her when she was alive?" Louise demanded.
"Because you aren't supposed to die at fourteen! I just thought that we could make up when we were adults and the world made sense." Tammy explained.
"But your plan was to constantly bully her in the meantime?" Louise scoffed.
"I guess I didn't really think it through, but Louise. You have to believe me. If Tina had like gotten cancer or something. Where I knew she was dying but I had time to say goodbye. I would have apologized." Tammy explained.
"Well guess what Tammy! I knew she was dying, and I still didn't get time to say everything I wanted to! But at least I was always nice to her! Sometimes… Who am I kidding? I was a horrible sister." Louise sighed.
"What are you talking about? Did you not hear me a minute ago? You were the best sister. Tina loved you so much. She was always talking about how much she loved you." Tammy explained.
"Yeah, but I never told her." Louise sighed.
"Louise, you were an amazing sister to Tina. You are a great person and I mean it. You are right. There isn't always time for goodbyes and being mean doesn't do anything. I am sorry." Tammy apologized pulling Louise into a tight hug. Seconds later the bell rang, Tammy waved goodbye and headed for class. Leaving Louise standing alone in the bathroom completely stunned. Had she just made Tammy into a decent person? Probably not but at least somebody had actually cared how she felt.
At first Bob was hesitant to reopen the restaurant. Knowing Linda wouldn't be any help and doubting he would be able to keep Gene and Louise on task on his own, but it wasn't like they could afford to stay closed much longer. They were already in serious trouble after being closed for nearly two weeks. So, he did what he had to do. He reopened as soon as he returned from dropping Louise off at school. He was terrible with social media but managed to make a post on the restaurant's oft neglected Facebook page that they were reopening. Ironically his last post was the Grand Re-Re-Re-Re Opening after the sink hole incident a few months prior. A fifth reopening except this time there would be no Grand Re-Re-Re-Re-Re Opening sign. Though Teddy had offered to make one. His daughter was dead. There was nothing to celebrate. He was only opening because he had to. There was no burger of the day. In fact, he yanked the board off the wall and shoved it under the counter. He replaced it with a picture of Tina and a handmade memorial sign "Tina Ruth Belcher March 6th, 2009-October 5th, 2023."
The restaurant ended up being far busier than he anticipated. A story had run on the local news about Tina's death and Kathleen had created a GoFundMe for the family that had been shared. So, people were coming around. At first Bob struggled to keep up. He considered dragging Gene down but realized he needed the time to grieve. Then around noon something strange, kicked in. He found himself at peace. He was back in his element. When working his mind was no longer on Tina. Even what it did drift to her it was happy memories. Business slowed down around two and he opted to close down for a while and go upstairs for lunch.
Linda sat on the couch, glass in hand, mindlessly watching TV. She did not even acknowledge that Bob had entered the room. There was a second glass spilled on the floor, that confused Bob. As far as he knew it was just Linda and Gene up there. At least Linda hadn't said anything about anybody else coming over. He sighed and assumed that she had just spilled a glass and been too impaired to pick it up. He cleaned up the mess and grabbed his lunch. The casseroles were still coming but had tapered off since the funeral. At least they had plenty left plus food from the funeral. He heated his spaghetti, tapping his foot impatiently as the microwave whirred. It definitely felt like more than two minutes. He felt the grief sneaking back in. He could not take the grief anymore. He grabbed his food and sat alone at the table. Memories of the night Tina got sick rushing back to him. He ended up tossing the half-eaten plate in the trash and returning downstairs. Business again picked up and he went back to burying himself in his work. Now he knew why Big Bob never wanted to leave the diner after losing Lily. He became completely lost in his work, forgetting about everything else. Even the one child he had sent to school that day.
The last thing in the world Lousie wanted to do was return to work. School had been grueling enough, but she was the only one around to help Bob anymore. Linda was lost to her drinking, she doubted Gene would want to help, and Tina was gone. Tina was dead. God she was sick of having to remember that. She was praying the restaurant would be slow as usual and Bob would dismiss her from working. School had drained her, and she just wanted to go to bed. No luck they were slammed. She was shocked and annoyed. No getting out of work today. She sighed and opened the door.
"OK I guess I am supposed to help now." Louise announced stepping into the restaurant.
"Oh, hey Louise. Where have you been?" Bob numbly asked.
"School, I went back to school today, Remember?" Louise questioned.
"Oh yeah well wash your hands and start serving. Table four ordered two cheeseburgers and three waters." Bob announced not even asking Louise about her first day back.
Louise sharply inhaled. Her annoyance replaced by hurt. She had just struggled through a horrible day and Bob could not even ask how she was. He just started barking orders.
"Don't give me attitude Louise! You know we can't afford to be closed anymore and us being busy today will save our asses!" Bob barked.
"Yes sir" Louise sighed.
The next hour was a blur. Louise was rushing between the dining area and the kitchen. Taking orders, giving them to Bob, delivering orders once they were ready, bussing tables. She had only been working an hour, but it felt like a year. Her legs were sore, and she was struggling to keep her eyes open. It was four cheeseburgers, three fries, one salad, two colas, a sprite, and iced tea that did it to her. She knew the tray was way too much for her, but she recognized the customers, the mom was a friend of Cynthia Bush, and the daughter was one of Chloe's minions. She guessed the son knew Jimmy Junior and Zeke through wrestling. According to the Pesto boys and Zeke. The mom was a known Karen. That's all she needed was to get the restaurant a bad review on their first day back. Bob was right. They did desperately need the money. She grabbed the tray and started towards the table. As she was coming from around the counter, a toddler came flying in her direction. She jumped back dropping the tray in the process. Everything went flying, the drinks spilling on the makeshift Tina memorial.
"Dammit Louise! Do you ever think? Why would you think you could take a tray that big yourself? Now that order is ruined and… Oh My God! Tina's picture! God! Louise! Just go upstairs!" Bob snapped.
"I'm sorry! But I have been at school all day! I didn't mean to drop this! I knew it was too much, but I was just trying to help!" Louise cried, shocked that her daddy was treating her this way.
"You are right. I am sorry but I think I am better on my own. Just go upstairs." Bob sighed.
Louise agreed, not particularly wanting to be around Bob right now. She knew he was hurting too, probably way more than she was, but she was still sick of everybody coming after her. She retreated to the safety of her room. Longing for Tina's presence. She grabbed one of Tina's shirts. Not her beloved horse shirt but at least something, and her barrette. She put the shirt on over her dress and the barrette in her hair. She climbed the stairs of the loft bed, burying herself under the covers. God she was sick of being miserable. Sobs were soon racking her body. At least she had made it through school without crying. She found herself drifting off. Not waking again until she heard the front door slam shut. She assumed it must be seven. The restaurant closed at seven and Bob always came up after for dinner. Before going back downstairs to clean up. She was shocked to see that it was almost ten o'clock! She must have slept through Bob's initial return and dinner. At least she was hungry. She climbed back down her bed and entered the living room.
"Sorry I missed dinner." Louise apologized.
"What do you mean?" Bob questioned.
"It's ten haven't you eaten yet?" Louise commented.
"No, I just closed up." Bob replied.
"You cleaned first tonight? Why did it take you two hours?" Louise questioned.
"It only took an hour." Bob replied.
"You stayed open two hours late?" Louise gasped.
"Yeah, I am just grabbing dinner. Then I am going to bed. Got to open up first thing in the morning. I think I am going to be seven to ten from now on." Bob explained.
"What about me?" Louise asked.
"You can help or not." Bob replied.
"But you liked being around to take me to, to school and then we always ate dinner together. My bedtime is ten. I can't be eating dinner after nine." Louise sighed.
"Louise! I am doing this for me! I am thinking about me now!" Bob snapped.
Once again Louise was taken aback. She guessed that her daddy hated her now. Linda was passed out on the couch and Gene sat on the floor clinging to the coffee table for dear life. He reached over and grabbed a wine glass, raising it to his lips and swallowing the contents.
"Uh shouldn't you tell him not to do that?" Louise questioned.
"Tell who not to do what?" Bob questioned.
"GENE JUST DRANK A GLASS OF WINE! HE'S UNDERAGE!" Louise snapped.
"Oh, uh Gene no." Bob muttered before retreating to his bedroom.
"DAD! GENE IS DRINKING! HE'S ELEVEN AND HE'S DRINKING! YOU NEED TO BE STRICT! YOU NEED TO YELL AT HIM THE WAY YOU DID AT ME!" Louise bellowed.
"I think you are doing enough yelling for the both of us. Now If you'll excuse me, I need to do some paperwork and then get ready for tomorrow." Bob explained.
"You know it's bad enough that mom is drinking like Pop-Pop did after Grandma Lily died. Now you are burying yourself in your work and not caring about me like Pop-Pop did after Grandma Lily died. Really glad I get the full experience." Louise scoffed.
"Oh yeah because your mother and I are so abusive." Bob hissed.
"You screamed at me today for tripping!" Louise yelled.
"You took a tray way too big for you! Because you wanted to show off! And dropped a huge order! Which I had to comp all over the floor! Plus, that kid could have been hurt! I think I have the right to be angry! But I am so glad you think being firm is abuse!" Bob shot back.
"Forget dinner! I'm going to bed!" Louise screamed, storming off to her room and slamming the door.
Louise did not get a wink of sleep that night, spending the entire night tossing and turning. She was not a child with many fears but the ones that had were big ones, and her biggest one was coming true. She was losing her family. She had lost Tina to disease, she was losing Linda and now Gene to the bottle, and she was losing Bob to the restaurant. Soon she would truly have nobody left and who was she kidding? It was entirely her fault.
The rest of October passed by in a blur. Before Louise knew it Halloween had arrived. Halloween had once been Louise's favorite holiday. This year things were different. This year Tina was gone, and Gene didn't care. Linda didn't care, nor did Bob. Louise had actually wanted to go trick or treating but Linda didn't even know what day it was. She kept thinking it was the twenty eighth for some reason.
"Dad you really need to take Gene and me trick or treating." Louise whined.
"I don't wanna tric treat." Gene slurred.
"Why not?! You love Halloween! You love free candy!" Louise cried.
"I love wine. Not candy." Gene moaned.
"Gene!" Louise cried.
"Louise! That's enough! Gene doesn't feel like going and I can't close tonight!" Bob snapped.
"Why?" Louise demanded.
"Because! It's Halloween! Kids are going to be out trick or treating and they are going to get hungry! Hungry for burgers! SO, I NEED TO BE HERE TO MAKE BURGERS!" Bob screamed.
"I am a kid who wants to trick or treat!" Louise cried.
"NO LOUISE! THINGS ARE ABOUT ME NOW! I PUT MYSELF ON THE BACK BURNER FOR YEARS FOR YOU! Now your sister! The ONE kid I was proud of is dead! She spent her life on the back burner for you and your brother! I am not dying on the back burner! Tina died on the back burner! I am not dishonoring her like that!" Bob shouted.
Thanksgiving AKA Bob's favorite holiday came to pass. Normally on Thanksgiving Lousie woke to wonderous smells. Normally her biggest concern was staying out of Bob's way. This year she was wondering what she would eat. These days Linda only went into the kitchen to get a fresh bottle of wine. Gretchen brought fresh bottles every few days. The funeral casseroles had stopped weeks ago, and Bob only cooked every few days anymore. Mostly he expected the family to eat restaurant leftovers. Gene and he devoured most of what there was. It's not like Louise was particularly hungry anyway. Most days her stomachached and she found herself vomiting up what little food she did manage to eat. She had always been trim but now her clothes were beginning to fall off. She prayed that Bob would care to buy her new clothes. For now, she dressed in a too big dress and searched for her family. Gene and Linda were sitting on the couch.
"You are a great drinking buddy, Gene." Linda slurred.
"I love mommy and mommy loves wine. So, Geanie loves wine." Gene cried.
"I love Genie!" Linda declared.
"Happy Thanksgiving dad!" Louise cried after finding him sitting on one of the stools at the restaurant sipping a beer.
"There is no happy since Tina died. Well, there's work happy but I can't work today. Because the people who have not lost their children don't want burgers today. Happy is burgers." Bob ranted.
"You know you have two living children? And a wife? Right?" Louise questioned.
"Happy is burgers" Bob sighed.
"And you are drunk too, fantastic." Louise scoffed.
Christmas was the next holiday, Linda's favorite. In early December Louise found some of Tina's babysitting money. Bob and Linda didn't care, and Tina was dead. It's not like she could get mad. She would have done the same thing if she were alive. Louise stuffed the money in her pocket. It wasn't much but she wanted to buy Christmas gifts for the family. Maybe the gesture would be enough to bring her family back around. She walked up and down Ocean Avenue for days but found nothing. Finally, she decided to sneak to the mall. Nobody cared to ask where she was going. She walked eleven blocks to the mall by herself. Everybody on the street was so caught up with their holiday shopping. Nobody cared about the little girl in the bunny ears walking alone, crying her eyes out. The mall had a small store called "The Bee Five" everything they sold there was five dollars and under. She bought Gene Putty that made fart noises, she bought Linda a raccoon magnet, and for Bob she bought a cookbook of burger recipes. If happy was burgers. Maybe this would make him love her again. She left the store and headed towards home feeling better than she had when she left. Until she passed the store that sold animal figurines. In the window was the most perfect horse figurine Louise had ever seen. Tina would have gone crazy over such a figurine. For a moment Louise forgot and wondered if she had enough money to buy the figurine for Tina. When she remembered she wanted the figurine to honor Tina. Until she saw the price, seventy-five dollars. She placed her hand on the glass and gazed upon the figurine.
"Louise? Hello." Mr. Jones greeted.
"Oh hey, Mr. Jones." Louise replied.
"I was so sorry to hear about Tina." Mr. Jones apologized.
"Thanks" Louise sighed.
"Uh the deadline for the poetry contest was last week but under the circumstances. If you have anything you care to submit. Just turn it in by the day of the reading." Mr. Jones offered.
"I don't think I have it in me this year." Louise whispered.
"Next year and I am here whenever." Mr. Jones assured.
"Thanks" Louise sighed.
"No problem." Mr. Jones replied before picking up his bags and walking away.
"LOUISE BELCHER! That's my girl!" Zeke cried.
"Hey Zeke" Louise replied.
"Woah that is a mighty fine horse figurine." Zeke observed.
"So fine it costs seventy-five dollars." Louise sighed.
"Phew" Zeke whistled.
"It OK. It would be perfect for Tina but she's dead. So, what does it matter?" Louise sighed before taking her small bag and departing.
Zeke watched Louise walk away with a heavy heart. He could not imagine what that sweet child must be feeling. It was his fault that Tina was dead. The least he could do was try to make Louise happy. Cheryl had given him a hundred dollars for all his recent help in the shop. He was going to buy tickets to a professional wrestling show that was coming to the Bog Harbor arena but right now Louise was more important. He entered the store and paid for the figurine, having it wrapped, springing for a fancy box. Once it was said and done, he made his way home. Praying this figurine would do the trick.
Christmas came around and Louise handed out her gifts. Linda opened her magnet and muttered something incoherent. Before falling back asleep. Gene held his putty in his hands, a confused look on his face. Louise showed him how it worked and for once split second, he smiled. Before picking up his glass. He wasn't drinking nearly as much as Linda, but it was still far too much for an eleven-year-old. Lastly, she gave Bob his cookbook, after having the same conversation they'd had on Thanksgiving.
"Happy is burgers" Bob smiled before pulling Louise into a tight hug. His first physical affection since her first day back at Wagstaff.
There were no gifts for Louise under the tree. No gifts for or from anybody else. The microscopic part of Louise that was still a child was disappointed, but it's not like she was expecting anything. Still, she was hoping for just one gift. There was a knock on the door. Confused she walked downstairs. There was nobody at the door but there was a small gift. Even more confused she picked up the box and read the tag.
"To, Louise Merry Christmas! Love, Zeke!"
Her confusion growing Louise carried the box up to her room and placed it on her desk. Why was Zeke buying her Christmas presents? They got along OK, but he had always been closer to Gene and Tina. He even liked her dad better than her! Why was he buying her a gift? She was confused but at least she had something to unwrap. Carefully she peeled away the paper, revealing a small wooden box. She gently lifted the lid and revealed the horse figurine! She placed it on her desk. Next to a framed picture of Tina and for the first time in weeks she felt hope.
"Merry Christmas, Tina. I wish this was in your room." Louise whispered.