In the middle of a forest in Mondstadt, a girl was stalking a boar herd.

She had black hair cut in a bob-like fashion at the front and of unknown length at the back, golden eyes, and a pale complexion.

She had bangs that were swept to one side by a golden hairclip with a paw motif, and the rest of her hair was braided in a looped bow-like updo at the back of her head resembling panda ears when viewed from the front, fastened with a small red ribbon.

She wore a brown and gold leotard with red ribbons in the front and back, the back being larger and holding a bell. She wore a gold belt, which she used to hold her Vision. Additionally, she wore brown fingerless gloves and boots, as well as a braided red ribbon around her left thigh and right arm and adhesive bandages crossed in an X on her right knee.

She was drooling at the sight of the boars, but before she could do anything, a tree felt on the herd, along with a severed head. Moxxie peered out of the fallen tree, carrying a chainsaw, and Blitzo walked out.

« Woo, that was a fuck ton of Chilli Churros! » Blitzo exclaimed.

« I'm still so jazzed up! » Millie yelled, as she crawled on the forest floor like a crab with an axe between her teeth, before snapping the axe in half, laughing as she did.

The girl just looked at the group, utterly confused, before being noticed by the IMPs.

« Uhm….hello? » the girl introduced herself timidly.

« Sup? » Blitzo spoke.

« U-uhm…..if I pay you, can you get rid of the tree and get the boars you just crushed? I think I can still work on something….»

« Jeez, girl. You that desperate that you are willing to eat crushed boars? » Millie asked concerned.

« Not really. I'm a chef, a chef on a mission to find rare and exotic ingredients from all corners of the world!» the girl replied. « My name's Xiangling, I'm from Liyue Harbor. »

Blitzo raised an eyebrow confused. « Dafuck is Liyue Harbor?!»

« Well, if the Teyvat field guide is correct….it's anime China, sir. » Moxxie replied.

« Anime China? What's next? Anime Japan? Anime France? Oh god, not Anime France! »

« Anyway, give me a minute miss Xiangling. » Moxxie begun to cut the various tree parts to take the boar meat.

« Wowee! This is great! Some of it I'll shallow fry, some of it I'll deep fry with mushrooms— ooh, and I wonder how well it goes with Slime Condensate...» Xiangling begun to plan how to cook the meat.

« "Slime condensate"? Girl, I'm from hell, and even I found that disgusting! » Moxxie cringed at the receipt.

« Fukkin' Chinese and their weird shit tastes. Famine was half a decade ago! Move on! There's better food out there! » Blitzo exclaimed annoyed.

« What famine? » Xiangling asked genuinely confused.

« Wrong China sir. » Moxxie added.

« Anyway, here's your pay- »

« Hey! What do you think you're doing? » a man rushed to the scene, much to the IMPs annoyance. « This is the boars' natural habitat, you can't hunt them here! You'll send them all running. »

« And we should care because? » Blitzo asked annoyed.

« No, he has a point. » Xiangling rubbed her arms. « The freshest, best-quality meat comes from free-range boars that grow up in the environment nature intended for them! If they all ran off... it would be a major blow to gastronomy— no, to all mankind!»

« ALL mankind? We just killed four fucking boars! » Blitzo replied.

« No matter, I'm sorry. I got excited and didn't think of the impact we'd have. »

The man sighed. « You should apologize to Draff. As our leader, he always stresses the importance of respecting the rules of the hunt. I'm afraid he is very upset right now. »

« You do that. Not before paying us for the meat. » Blitzo casually replied.

« I made a mistake, and I should go and apologize. I'll pay you as soon as I meet this Draff. » Xiangling replied, as she walked off with the man.

« Wait WHAT!? » Blitzo exclaimed angrily, as he chased after her

Xxxxxxx

After a while, the group reached a hunter village, and Xiangling was brought before Draff. He had brown hair, cat ears, a beard and a moustache. He carried a bow and an arrow. He also had bandages and he was wearing yellowish boots.

« You must be Xiangling. » the man said in a serious tone.

« Sorry Mr. Draff, this was all my fault. » Xiangling apologized.

« I heard the whole story. And now that you're here in person- »

« Oh HELL NO! » Blitzo yelled, as he jumped on Draff, pointing a flintlock pistol on his face. « Listen up, you cat weeb fuck! If you want to kill her, do it after she paid us! »

Draff raised his hands in defeat. « If I told you I was just interested in her promoting our meat, will you let me go? »

«…Eh? » Xiangling asked confused.

«Wut? » Blitzo added.

« Springvale has built its reputation on top-quality meat products, but this reputation is so far limited to Mondstadt. » Draff explained. « When I heard that the great maestro Xiangling herself was in Mondstadt, I asked Allan to send you over. »

« Oh, for fuck sake, who the fuck is this Chinese chick!? » Blitzo exclaimed annoyed.

« I'm NOT Chinese! » Xiangling complained.

« Definitely Chinese. » Moxxie and Millie bumped their fists.

« Haven't you heard? She's the one behind Wanmin Restaurant, that one-of-a-kind folk cuisine restaurant in Liyue Harbor. » Draff explained. « Her unique take on cooking ingredients is behind some of the best-loved dishes in all Liyue. They are very highly rated by travellers, too. »

« Hee-hee, you're too kind. I just try to cook things that are cheap and cheerful. » Xiangling chuckled.

« With a top-notch chef cooking top-notch cuisine with top-notch meat from Springvale... Our reputation would spread far and wide. » Draff explained.

« Are you just gonna ignore us? » Blitzo asked annoyed.

« Hmm... I don't know... »

« Fukken' 'scuse me? »

« I only ever think about how to make tasty dishes... I never limit myself to specific ingredients, and I don't know the first thing about promoting anything. »

Draff raised an eye confused. « You use boar meat all the time anyway, surely? I can't see what the issue is. »

« The issue is... What would you think if I added a bit of Slime Condensate? » Xiangling proposed.

« Stop using whatever shit you find in a dumpster! » Moxxie exclaimed desperate.

« Excuse me!? » Xiangling replied angrily, before smelling the air. « Mmm, what's that smell? It's gorgeous! »

« Uh, honey!? THE FUCKING MONEY! »

She then walked towards a pot, where a woman was cooking.

« Hello, may I have a taste of your delicious cooking? » Xiangling asked.

« Sorry, I've taken all the orders I can for the next few days. The earliest I could put you down for is seven days from now, is that okay? »

« Money! »

The woman sighed. « Something tells me that Draff feels that Mondstadt cuisine can't compete with that of Teyvat's biggest business hub, Liyue Harbor. But I disagree! I don't think my cooking is at all inferior to anyone else's. »

« Well then... Show me what you got! Maybe I can give you some feedback. »

« Where's our MUNEH!?»

« Well then, if you are the great Xiangling, as it happens, I have one of today's prime cuts remaining. So tell me, how would you cook this?»

« That depends on the ratio of fat to meat. With this cut, I would probably roast it over a hot stone with a little salt, some Jueyun Chili, and Qingxin flower. »

« We're gonna rape this entire town if you don't hand out the fucking money! »

« Qingxin flower!? But the melted fat would make the flavor of the flowers ten times stronger than when eaten raw... It would overpower everything! »

« I know, that's why it's a garnish — I would never marinate the meat in it! I've tried it before. If you baste the petals in oil and then cook them with the right heat and duration, it gets rid of the bitterness completely and leaves you with a lovely crispy topping. » Xiangling explained. « Then throw in some Jueyun Chilis grown at a high altitude, where the low humidity and varying temperature lends them a unique dry heat. The petals absorb the saltiness from the sea salt, the chili spice, and the umami of the tender, freshly grilled steak, while also adding a floral aftertaste. »

« We've rigged this entire town to blow! Hand over the muneh! »

« That's pure overkill! You're going all out on the trimmings and doing no justice to the meat whatsoever. » Brook argued. « Who wants to eat a roast when you can taste everything except the roast? »

As the two women continued to argue, and Blitzo was about to commit a massacre, Moxxie pulled out a shotgun and fired at the air, catching their attention. « You done!?»

« Hmph. Well, there's only one sure-fire way out of a cooking dispute... » Xiangling declared. « I declare a cook-off! »

« Suits me! If you can't beat my cooking, it'll show that Draff was clearly wrong about you. »

« Alright — but if I win, you have to use my winning dish to promote Springvale! »

« And if you lose, you have to add my winning dish to the Wanmin menu! » Brook replied. « With a caption saying "This special addition to the Wanmin menu is generously provided by Chef Brook of Springvale, meat expert." Hmph! »

« You have a deal! » Xiangling exclaimed angrily. « I'm off to get ingredients — I will see you all in Liyue! » she then ran off at unbelievably speed.

« Oh for fuck sake, GET BACK HERE AND PAY US! »

Xxxxxxx

The IMPs went after Xiangling, but so far, they had little luck finding her.

« She's not here either! » Moxxie exclaimed, as he inspected a small cave, before a horde of slimes charged forward.

« Oh, where the fuck is that Chinese whore-» Blitzo exclaimed at the top of his lungs, before lightning and screams of pain came out of the nearby mountain, followed by rocks, Hilichurls, Slimes, foxes, boars, dragons, ogres (my lord), and even a god damned Stuka were thrown out violently out of the mountain, nearly hitting the IMPs, who simply walked away, not interested in getting involved.

Xxxxxxx

A while had passed, and the IMPs had not found Xiangling.

« Sir, PLEASE! We've been looking for her for hours! » Moxxie pleaded.

« She owes us money, and I don't care how many kneecaps I have to smash, I swear to Satan, I will not stop searching for her, even if it kills me! » Blitzo replied angrily.

Then…

« Guys! I need help! » a familiar voice came from a nearby cave.

« Well that was easy. » Blitzo casually replied.

The group walked inside of the cave, and found Xiangling attending a freezing man.

« Brr... So, so c—cold...» the man shivered.

« He's shivering! We need to warm him up, quick! » Xiangling exclaimed.

« Oh, I got this! » Moxxie grinned, before pulling out a flame thrower.

He then fired at the man, who begun to scream as the flames engulfed him.

However, as the flames continued to engulf the man, he seemed to calm down, as they didn't seem to harm him.

«…wut? » Blitzo asked confused.

« Anti freezing tech. Bought it for that one time we had to kill that guy stuck in the Himalayas with a fork but was frozen. Never had the chance to use it. »

« Clever. » Blitzo smirked, as the man managed to recover.

« Heart attack aside, thank you guys. » the man thanked the IMPs.

« What the fuck happened to you? » Blitzo asked.

« I was chasing a boar, and after chasing him all this way he slipped into those underground ruins over there. » he pointed at some ruins. « I followed him inside, but ran into a Cryo Regisvine. It froze me instantly. When I woke up I ran straight outside, but... I only made it this far before my strength failed me. »

« Cryo Regisvine? Vines... attack people? » Xiangling asked.

« They do now! I'd heard of them before from others, but this was the first time seeing one with my own eyes. » the man replied.

« Well, that sounds like it's not our problem-»

« It sounds delicious! » Xiangling exclaimed.

« Sounds WHAT!? » Moxxie exclaimed.

« That's it! That's the ingredient that will win me the cook off! »

« Oh don't you dare-»

« Only one way to find out — let's go! » Xiangling exclaimed, before running off once more.

« I'M GONNA MAKE NANKING LOOK LIKE A FUCKING PLAYGROUND WHEN I GET YOU! »

Xxxxxxx

As Xiangling traversed the ruins, the IMPs chased after her.

« Get back here and pay us! » Blitzo exclaimed.

« Ingredients don't stay fresh for long! » Xiangling replied. « We need to get going before they expire! »

« Your ass is going to expire in a box sent to Space Cuba! » Blitzo replied angrily.

Suddenly, however, they found themselves in front of the gigantic Cryo Regisvine.

« Oh crumbs…» Moxxie cursed, as he prepared his Tommie gun and fired several rounds at the giant plant.

In response, the plant slammed itself on the ground, attempting to hit the group.

« This is all your fault, you Chinese fuck! Had you just given us the money we wouldn't be involved in this shit! » Blitzo cursed.

« No matter! Help me put this ingredient to its place! » Xiangling replied.

As she said that, the plant slammed itself on the ground once more, with Blitzo and Moxxie shooting their guns at the giant, whilst Millie and Xiangling struck at it with axe and spear.

Eventually, the giant plant collapsed.

« Well then, now that we dealt with this shit- »

« Got myself a Cryo Regisvine, cook it up for dinner time... » Xiangling sung happily.

« Choke on a boar dick. »

« Lighten up a little! What in the world could bring more joy than finding rare ingredients? »

« y. » Blitzo replied holding up creepy, trembling grabby hands.

« Wait, there's something else here too! » Xiangling exclaimed, as she saw a boar with a peculiar pattern.

« Huh. Guess that's the boar the hunter was hunting…» Moxxie noted.

« Gotta say, that's one hell of a pattern….» Millie added.

« Where have I seen this before? Hmm... Aha! It was in the "Historia Naturalis Liyue"! » Xiangling exclaimed. « This pattern is unmistakable. It belongs to a breed of boar that went extinct 300 years ago! »

« So what? Did it get frozen in time or some shit? » Blitzo asked annoyed.

« I read that this boar was hunted to extinction because its meat was so highly prized. » Xiangling explained. « Cryo Regisvine and extinct boar. Not one, but two priceless treasures! »

She, after collecting the ingredients, darted off back to the village. « Meet me back at Springville! »

« I'm gonna nuke China into submission. »

Xxxxxxx

After a while, the group returned to Springvale.

« Uh... Are you sure this is Springvale? » the man from earlier asked a very annoyed Draff.

« Yes. For the millionth time, yes! But I don't know any of the people you're looking for. » Draff replied annoyed.

« That is not possible, they all live in Springvale. They are my neighbors and friends. »

« This is strange, what is going on? »

« I guess you have been frozen back there for a long time…. » Moxxie noted.

« Still, it's hard to believe... » Draff replied.

« Look, just who the hell are you, Mr. Freeze? » Blitzo asked annoyed.

« I'm Olaf. » the man replied.

« Olaf? I'm sure I've seen that on my family tree! » Draff exclaimed. « I can't remember which generation it was from... but it was definitely on there. »

« So, a great-great-great-great grandfather, but with a whole load more greats? » Xiangling asked.

« Well happy fucking reunion! Everybody is happy! NOW PAY US! » Blitzo shouted at the top of his lungs as he grabbed Xiangling by the collar and shook her to the next dimension.

« A-at least wait until the competition is over! » Xiangling pleaded.

« Oh, you're not getting away this time! »

« W-wait! W-what if I pay you after the competition….alongside some meat? »

«…You have one competition. After that, it's either your money or your ass! » Blitzo stormed off, before sitting on a bench. « LET THIS FUCKING THING BEGIN! »

Xxxxxxx

After an epic cooking contest, and after the food was tasted….

« This was a fine feast. I have dined today like I have never dined before. » Draff declared. « Both chefs' dishes today were nothing short of exceptional. They were true masterpieces. And that is what makes this an extremely difficult decision. But, this is a competition and there can only be one winner — and that winner is... »

The man dramatically pointed at the winner.

« Xiangling! »

The girl bounced in the air from excitement. « Whoopee! I win! »

Brook sighed in defeat. « I thought I was sure to win with pork chops so fresh they were practically still grunting. But it turns out that's still no match for the taste of extinct boar. »

« Excuse me? Did you say this was cooked from extinct boar!? » Draff exclaimed shocked.

« Yep, every last bit! » Xiangling smiled in response.

« My goodness... A single mouthful must be worth a hundred thousand Mora! » Draff exclaimed. « The amount you'd make if you sold this could support every hunter in town for years to come! »

« Hee-hee, the main thing is that you enjoyed eating it. I don't care about the Mora. » Xiangling casually replied. « Anyway, now that our judge has given his verdict, it's time for everyone else to eat too. I made plenty! Meanwhile, I want to try Brook's dish. »

« This is absolutely delicious... I'll admit it, I was beaten by the best. » Brook admitted, as she enjoyed the meat.

« This is gorgeous too! Such a perfectly layered texture. » Xiangling complimented her opponent. « Were it not for that exquisite boar and excellent side dish, it's hard to say if I still would have won. »

She then turned to the IMPs. « What about you guys? C'mon, dig in! »

« DIDNTASKDONTNEEDITGOFUCKYOURSELF. » Blitzo replied annoyed.

« Well unlike our boss we're not that petty. Guess it's lunch time! » Moxxie exclaimed, as he started eating.

« Thanks, you guys. Without your help, I don't know how it would have gone today. » Xiangling thanked the IMPs

« Yeah, yeah, potato potato, can you PLEASE pay us now!? » Blitzo replied.

« Here you go! » Xiangling tossed a coin bag at the Imp. « And I've also packed your part of the meat. »

« Where will you go now? » Millie asked.

« Not sure. I'll probably start heading back to Liyue, but I might change my plan on the way. » Xiangling replied. « I don't like to plan things too thoroughly. Who knows, maybe you'll bump into me out in the wild again! »

« God no! » Blitzo shot back.

« Come and visit me at the Wanmin Restaurant some time. » Xiangling ignored Blitzo harsh response. « And if you want, I'll teach you how to cook some of my latest inventions too. »

« Tell you what. If we ever meet again, god help me that doesn't happen, I'll teach you how to cook pizza! » Blitzo replied.

« Hee-hee, see you again soon! »

Xxxxxxx

After a long and excruciating day, the IMPs returned to their office, Paimon still drowning in papers.

« Hey Looney! How has the day been with Lisa? » Blitzo asked.

« You bet! We even got to torture the everliving shit out of an Abyss Mage! » Loona replied.

« Sounds fun. Anyway, hold on to your butts, I'm cooking dinner for you sweetie! And on the menu is a kickass extinct boar! » Blitzo exclaimed, as he pulled out the meat.

Hearing the word "meat", Paimon busted out with the strength of 10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 hurricanes, drooling as she did.

« Meat!? Did somebody say meat!? »

« Uh…..yeah….about that emergency food….we don't have enough for you….» Blitzo replied.

« WHAT!? » Paimon shouted angrily.

« Well, you win some, you fail to feed some. C'mon boss, let's cook the shit out of this meat! » Loona exclaimed.

But before the group could reach the kitchen, they turned to see Paimon, her eyes having grown gigantic and cutey, whilst whimsical music played in the background.

« Oh god…. I feel sorry for her….she thinks it can work on us….» Moxxie pitied the girl.

However, it did seem to work on Loona.

« Kid….if you don't stop…» the hellhound growled, trying to not succumb to the cuteness.

But the more she tried, the more she failed, until she groaned in frustration.

« Oh, all right, we'll share. C'mon boss, let's cook this shit so we can go to fucking bed! »

« YAAAAAAAAAY! »

Xxxxxxx

Many thanks to Inanna for many of the suggestions for this chapter.

I hope you enjoy this new chapter! Please review so I can know your opinion. I'm willing to accept suggestions for what is going to happen, so stay tuned! Also, remember to like and follow, if you want!

See you to the next update!