The Start Of Chuuya's Simp Era
Summary: Soukoku goes on their first undercover mission. Chuuya finds out what it's like to be a real boy. He's not happy about this find, thugh. It's all Dazai's fault!
A/N: Another Femzai fic! Plus Simp!Chuuya! As a small birthday gift for hisslop :)
This ... This was not going according to plan.
Well, actually, it was, but at the same time, it really wasn't. Or at least that's how Chuuya felt right now.
He was currently questioning all of his life choices and all that he's ever known in his life and he isn't getting any satisfactory answers, if he's being honest. In fact, he's pretty sure he's more confused than ever.
And, really, now was not the time for it. They were in the middle of a mission and Chuuya had a job to do.
The job? To track down this one arms dealer trying to fuck the Port Mafia over, capture him, get the location of his latest shipment and then kill him.
'They'? That would be Nakahara Chuuya and Dazai Osamu, the newly coined Soukoku, a pair of monstrous sixteen year olds who are climbing Mafia ranks at breakneck speed. Hell, Dazai was already an Executive!
Not that she looked like an Executive right now ...
That was the whole problem, actually.
But to back it up a little, it all started when the Boss called them to his office this morning to inform them of this mission. Dazai, being the little shit only she could get away with being with Mori-san - besides Elise, who was the man's own Ability, at that - had been against the mission despite it being her who discovered the attempted double cross since she now officially had her fingers in all of the Port Mafia's pies. Chuuya had been tempted to agree with her, if only because he was simply not in the mood for a Soukoku mission today. He was never keen on using Corruption and things were already a little strained after the Dragon Head conflict and the things he'd said to Dazai without ever apologizing after. He doesn't doubt Dazai would risk life and limb to get him out of it - in hindsight, the whole incident with Verlaine was, like, at least 40% just Dazai trying to prove Chuuya was human even when there was no concrete evidence of it - but it feels ... more weird now, than even those first few times.
"This mission doesn't require Corruption, though," the Boss had argued calmly in the face of the two teens' distaste for the mission. "This is a simple capture and assassination mission."
"Then why send us?" Chuuya had dared to ask as Dazai did that little squint-eye she sometimes did at the Boss when she was digging up all levels of some plot the man may have made.
"I couldn't help but notice a certain ... tension, between you two," the former doctor had explained. "I figured a simple mission that doesn't require much effort but does require you two to work together and trust each other might help you get over whatever it is that's bothering you."
"We trust each other just fine and work just fine, too, Mori-san," had been Dazai's quick, easy reply. "An infiltration mission like this ... Mori-san, this isn't a mission worthy of even a Port Mafia handyman, let alone an Executive and Executive-candidate."
"Are you questioning me?"
"No, Boss," Chuuya cut in before Dazai could potentially say something to get them in trouble. "The mission will be a success, we guarantee it." And there's no doubting it. It really was a stupidly simple mission, to the point that there were no Ability users besides Soukoku involved and no excess guards and goons to deal with. Dazai really was right; anyone with half a brain could finish this mission just as easily as Soukoku, but orders were orders and the hierarchy in the Port Mafia was everything, so they had no choice but to go along with it.
Dazai was a little pissed off at him by the time they exited the Boss' office. "You tell Akutagawa-kun why I have to cancel our training session."
"It's a mission and, unlike you, I'm in no position to be picky about the things I do for the Mafia," he'd snapped back, but Dazai had only rolled her eyes before marching off. "Hey! Aren't we going to go over the plan? Dazai?! OI!"
"As usual, I'll be the distraction, Chuuya will swoop in and be his brutish self, yada yada, the end. Now leave me alone. I need to make arrangements for tonight, because of you and your good-little-soldier attitude. I suggest you do the same."
"Arrangements?"
"You saw where I used to live. Do you honestly think I had any fancy clothes stored in that shipping container? I need to get clothes, slug! I suggest you get Kouyou Ane-san to help you clean up, too. The party we're going to is nothing like the little raves and bar trips you've made in your chibi life so far; there's a dress code I doubt you can meet on your own~!"
"Fuck you, I know how to clean up just fine on my own!"
"Whatever helps Chuuya sleep at night~"
Of course, he did end up having to ask Kouyou for help when he saw the place they would be going to. It would be his first black tie event and he was doing it solo. (Dazai didn't count, because she's a little shit who would be of no help. Besides, she was probably a bigger disaster in that regard than even Chuuya was!)
Only, of course, she wasn't.
While Chuuya had needed help from Kouyou to find a nice black three piece suit, shoes and silk gloves to go along with a red silk shirt and a new red band for his hat to match the outfit - and his choker; he still hated Dazai for it, despite how he was rather fond of it and how good he looked in it - in order to look dashing and not like a teenager who was practically picked up from the slums of Suribachi yesterday - not really, but you get his drift - Dazai had pulled up in a limo, waiting for him, dressed in such a way that Chuuya had first wondered if it was even the same person sitting beside him.
The long, usually messy looking chocolate hair had been done up in an elaborate hairstyle that circled Dazai's face and head like a crown, decorated with some red gems - probably garnets, if Chuuya wasn't mistaken. The bangs usually falling all over Dazai's face have been neatly swept to the side to cover the area usually wrapped in bandages still hiding Dazai's right eye, and a few loose, naturally curly locks dangled around her face, bringing attention to the modest garnet earrings, which brought the question: how had Chuuya not known Dazai's ears were pierced!? To complete the beautiful masterpiece that was Dazai's face and head in general, she wore light makeup, the centerpiece being the one fully visible eye with the way small amounts of red eye shadow was applied at the corners not unlike how Kouyou wore her makeup.
The rest of the bandages were also replaced, too, of course, since the Demon Prodigy was rather infamous for the bandages adorning her body. The ones around the neck were replaced by a choker with a single tear-shaped ruby dangling from the center, while the ones around Dazai's arms were replaced with black silk gloves going up to nearly the armpits. Chuuya has no idea if Dazai wore bandages on her legs on average, but there were no bandages there tonight, that's for sure.
As for the clothes that put the whole outfit together, well, Dazai sure had gone all out! Chuuya has no idea where she got it, but she was wearing a beautiful black dress with red accents and details. It actually reminds Chuuya of a flamenco dress, if only a little big, because of the folds in the skirt part, mostly black except the folds lining the slit that runs along the edge. The length of the skirt part was not even; on the left side it reached to the middle of Dazai's calf while on the other side, it just barely covered the middle of her thigh, where the back at least runs longer to properly cover the girl while the tip of the slit is decorated in some red gemstones forming a spider lily of all things. The dress was strapless and had a rather open back, with some more gemstones around the lining of the opening in the lower back area, as if to draw attention of wandering eyes there.
To finish it all off, Dazai had a red scarf draped over her forearms and around her back, she applied some sweet smelling perfume and was wearing stiletto heels that made her even taller than Chuuya and would no doubt click-clack with each step she took, making it impossible not to pay attention to her.
Which would be perfect, since she was meant to cause a distraction, for their target and for everyone else.
However, it was not perfect, since Chuuya couldn't stop gawking at his partner from the moment he realized it was really her and not some princess or mythical beauty when she called him slug and told him to just get in the car. "I know, I get it, I look weird, but you're the one who accepted this job, so let's just get it over with and pretend it never happened."
" ... What do you mean, 'you look weird'?" It had taken Chuuya two whole minutes to regain the ability to talk even after he'd gotten into the car that was to take them to the event.
Dazai had only rolled her eyes. "I'm not meant for dresses, Chuuya. I look ridiculous. You can laugh it up after we're done here, when I go to Lupin to drink this misery out of my memory. Or I just throw myself off the nearest bridge. Depends on my mood at the time."
'What do you mean, you're not meant for dresses!? What do you mean, you look ridiculous!?' Dazai looked like a fucking goddess! That dress not only emphasized her long legs - which looked longer than he'd ever thought them to be, despite all the time they've spent together and the fact that Chuuya had even taken a nap on them - but also her womanly figure, from her insanely - and probably unhealthily - thin waist to the fact that she was, indeed, a growing young woman, as was evidence by how well the corset of the dress hugged her chest. The girls Chuuya had grown up around in the Sheep had been flat even at sixteen-seventeen and while that seems to be the case for Dazai's derriere, she did not share their problem. In fact, even her usual baggy dress shirts couldn't really hide the fact that puberty was hitting her like a freight train.
Chuuya had just ... not noticed before, until Dazai wore a dress and it became obvious to him, perhaps for the first time in his stupid, foolish mind, that his partner was indeed a girl.
She may not be as delicate or fragile as most girls her age, since she was shaped by her environment of toxicity and power struggles that made up the darkness of the Mafia, but she was still most definitely a girl. It didn't matter that she'd traded make-up and shopping bags for guns and knives. It didn't matter that she would rather spend her time drinking in a bar or going to arcades with a boy instead of painting her nails or going to concerts of her celebrity crushes or whatever the hell it was that normal teenage girls did.
Dazai was still a girl, and a beautiful one, at that.
And Chuuya was the blind, ignorant fool who hadn't noticed until now.
So, really, it was actually all his fault that he couldn't concentrate on the mission, that his eyes kept straying to his partner even when he knew Dazai could handle herself perfectly well and didn't need him hovering over her. She was doing her part perfectly, as expected of the Demon Prodigy. No one had been quite able to take their eyes off of her since her arrival, not with how elegantly she moved, how liltingly she talked and how melodiously she laughed. She was basically radiating Look At Me energy and no one could resist her charms.
Not even Chuuya himself, whose heart was beating a kilometers a millisecond as he realized 'Fuck, she's beautiful!' and 'Fuck, do I have feelings for her!?' which was really not helping him focus on his part of the mission. He thinks he finally understands why there are so many songs, poems and odes to someone's beauty, why it was called fatal beauty or fatal attraction. He was a little pissed at himself for the fact that he found it in shitty Dazai, of all people, but he couldn't find it in himself to refute that it couldn't have been anyone else, not for him. Not for them.
"Chibi, what are you doing? Are you in the red again? The target's trying to leave!" Came through his earpiece and he winced as he remembered that he wasn't here to marvel at the billion yen masterpiece that was his partner in that getup. He's on the job right now!
He quickly scanned the room and spotted their target.
"Yeah, yeah, I see him, don't get your panties in a twist. I'm on it. Start making your excuses, in case you need to personally question him." It's not that Chuuya couldn't get answers out of people, but they weren't really supposed to make a big mess out of this. According to Ane-san, it was also an exercise in self-restraint for Soukoku or something, so they wouldn't leave a wasteland each time they were sent out. Which was funny, since Soukoku is sent out exactly for the purpose of creating a wasteland of their enemies!
But now's not the time to think about that anymore than it's the time to ogle his partner, so the ginger took off after his target. It was far too easy to track him down, catch him and restrain him. It was not exciting or anything, like, at all. Chuuya even had the time to smoke a cigarette by the time Dazai approached them, soundlessly coming out of the shadows as a contra-position to the grand, click-clacking entrance she'd made at the party.
"Geez, this is so boring," she said, echoing Chuuya's thoughts. "This is truly a waste of our time. I could have actually gotten some sleep for once if all Mori-san wanted to do was waste my time."
"I'm surprised that's the first thing you wanted to do instead of this." Though Chuuya wasn't complaining nearly as much as Dazai was. After all, he got to see his partner all dressed up like this and had a perhaps unwanted awakening, but better now than later, at an even more inconvenient moment.
"I've been up for 75 hours, hatrack. Anymore and I might collapse at random." Chuuya wanted to nag at her to take better care of herself, but he realized that the sooner that they are done here, the quicker he could take her home and make her go to sleep. For once, he won't mind filling out the mission reports for the both of them. So he just let Dazai do her thing. "Ne, I'm not in the mood to play tonight, double crosser-san. Tell me where, who, why, when and how. Tell me where your latest shipment is. And if you're quick about it, I'll make it quick and clean, ne?"
"As if I'd be intimidated into talking by a shrimp and a slut-" He cut himself off with a scream as Dazai stabbed him through the gut with one of her heels. He sobbed as she twisted her leg a little, like she was putting out a cig. He sobbed even harder as Dazai took a gun from seemingly out of nowhere and even Chuuya wondered what all was hiding behind the longer part of her dress. He's well aware he was missing at least two of the daggers he'd brought for tonight and Dazai, as a true disciple of Mori Ougai, always had at least ten scalpels with her as backup weapons, so who knows what else was there along with the glock she was now pointing at their target's head. "I-I'll talk! I'll talk!"
"That's what I thought," she scoffed before she asked her questions and got her answers. Chuuya just stood back and watched. As promised, as soon as she was done, Dazai executed the traitor, Mafia style, before wrenching her heel out of his guts and making a face.
"Well, these shoes are ruined." She gestured towards Chuuya to come closer and the slightly older teen obeyed, surprised when she leaned against him carelessly in order to take her heels off. He had to put a hand around her middle to steady her, though he doubted Dazai actually needed the support; he'd seen her sense of balance, but perhaps standing on one leg in heels is at least a little bit difficult even for her? Either way, she was now standing barefoot on the floor, wiggling her toes and stretching her ankles and other foot joints a bit. "I swear those things are torture devices, almost as much as this dress."
"I don't know, you looked like you had fun," Chuuya observed as he started steering them towards the back exit, where a different, Mafia black car was waiting for them, most probably with Hirotsu inside, awaiting Dazai's further instructions.
"Hmm, maybe a little. I felt like Cinderella, like the spell would lift if I didn't flee the scene before the strike of midnight. Only there was no prince chasing after me," she replied and unexpectedly giggled as she leaned more heavily against Chuuya, enough to surprise him but by no means enough to fuck with his balance. "Then again, he was waiting for me to escort me to my chariot."
"HUH!?" Chuuya's face went as red as his shirt and Dazai just laughed before running off ahead of him, exiting the building first and being greeted by Hirotsu, who only arched an eyebrow at her bare feet before opening the door for her. He then peered through the door at the stunned-speechless Chuuya. The eyebrow went higher when he saw his state.
"Will Chuuya-san be joining us or do you have your own transportation?"
Chuuya got moving at that and apologized to Hirotsu for making him wait while Dazai just snickered at his expense. Chuuya couldn't even muster up the frustration or anger necessary to yell at her. He was far too embarrassed from this night's events to do anything more than just bury his face in his hands and halfheartedly listen to Dazai giving out orders regarding the little raid their subordinates would be finishing up that night.
"You know, if you like the dress that much, I can just give it to you," the brunette said unexpectedly and Chuuya gawked at her. Dazai shrugged. "You'll probably find a girl who fits it better than I do-"
"Just promise not to throw it away," was all the protest he could get out at the thought of anyone else wearing that dress but Dazai. "It really looks good on you. I'm not lyin'."
" ... Oh ... " To his surprise, a blush painted Dazai's cheeks at that. To his further surprise, Dazai leaned over and pressed a chaste kiss to his cheek, leaving him gawking at her all over again as she smiled beautifully at him. The first real one that night. "Chuuya also looked rather dashing tonight. Real handsome. Like a real prince."
Hirotsu just sighed as he now had two blushing, overpowered teenage messes on his backseat, not daring to look at each other even as their fingers brushed each other, as if too shy to actually hold hands quite yet, but happy enough with even that minute contact. It was sweet, almost sickeningly so, to see Soukoku acting their age and on such tender feelings, but Hirotsu would rather it not happening around him, if it was all the same with them.
Especially since that night became infamous among the troops who had been present to see even parts of that display. For years later, that night was dubbed as 'The Start Of Chuuya-san's Simp Era' and the ginger never even complained, not even after Dazai defected and reemerged as a member of the Armed Detective Agency. By that point, there was no going back, for any of them, least of all Soukoku.
And, well, if they didn't mind, who was anyone else to tell them how to do things?
OWARI