Author's note:

After years of hiatus, I finally am back to the land of fanfiction. So many have changed, I can't believe I'm writing again. Life has definitely thrown so many curveballs at me but now I'm glad to be back, regularly reading and writing fanfiction again.
I don't know how it happened but somehow, I'm back. Everyone, please enjoy my attempt at Merthur.

Don't forget to leave a review! I will try to update once a week to provide you with some much-needed Merthur crack but in all seriousness, your reviews really help motivate me to keep writing.

Let me know what you like, and what you don't like, constructive criticism is always welcome! I promise not to stop writing as long as I know someone is reading and enjoying my stories.

We are the fandom that never died.

Summary:

And so the Knights, Morgana and Guinevere plot the most important mission in the history of Albion. Project Get Arthur Jealous Enough To Make Him Confess His Feelings To Merlin.

Or PGAJETMHCHFTM.

It's going to be easy right?

11 PM. Morgana's chambers. Tell no one. Camelot will fall if you ignore this.

Gwaine looks at the note that the crow had dropped on his lap. As soon as he finished reading it, the note bursts into flame. He stares at the roof of the Rising Sun. He has an hour to sober up.

Gwen is in bed, about to turn in, when a crow breaks through her window. They stare at each other grimly before the crow delivers the note. Gwen tries to rub the sleep off her eyes.

Lancelot and Percival were patrolling the South gates when they heard the familiar squawk of a crow. Lancelot looks up and picks the note from the air. "Sir Kay, Sir Aeron, finish the patrols. Sir Percival and I need to go somewhere."

Leon was sharpening his sword in the armory when he received the note. He stares at it and contemplates not opening it. After a few moments, he picks it up and adjusts his chain mail.

Percival is taking Lady Aberdeen through the Royal Garden. Judging by the blush on the Lady's cheeks, he was saying the right things. It was then not a lovely surprise when a crow suddenly landed on her head, its claws digging into her scalp as she shrieked. Percival's frows meet as he takes the note and reads it. Standing up, he makes hurried excuses, leaving his date to moan about ruined hair to no one.

Elyan is in the bath. He was scrubbing the grime from the last four days when the crow dropped his note on the water. Thankfully, it was enchanted not to get wet. He had just returned from Anduma, a small village west of Camelot, by the outskirt and defended it from a hippogriff. The scratched knight reads the note, sighs, and gets out of the bath. He can relax once the threat is gone. He dries himself off and walks towards the path.

"Thank you for coming," Morgana starts, smiling at her friends.

"What is this about, milady?" Gwen asks.

The groan that escapes from Morgana is unexpected.

"I can't take them anymore, Arthur and Merlin, those two oblivious idiots need to shag. Their constant bickering is going to be the end of me!" she says in one go.

Gwen gasps. The rest of the knight nods, all too aware of how brutal training with King Arthur could be after a fight with Merlin.

In their last fight, Arthur had stormed towards the training grounds, dragged a young knight and started the day with mace training. That was twelve moons ago and Sir Cedric has still to come out from his chambers. Gaius says he had a panic attack and a mental breakdown, in addition to the bruises he acquired from the King's "training" regimen.

"Why don't we just tell them the other has feelings for them?" Elyan starts.

"Because, dear brother," Gwen rolles her eyes, "those two will not believe you. The gods know how much I tried to tell them. I even tried to get the King to realise his feelings for Merlin while he was courting me!"

"You never told me this story," Lancelot chuckles.

"R-right," Gwen blushed staring directly at Lancelot. It had been a year since the knight returned to Camelot. Despite Gwen and Arthur's relationship fizzling out, Lancelot and her agreed not to pursue their courtship. Suffice to say, things were still awkward between them.

"Gwen, the story please," Gwaine coughs

Gwen jumped, taken out of her reverie.

Canon event: Merlin BBC Season 3, Episode 10: Queen of Hearts

Gwen: It feels different, doesn't it? Being away from Camelot?

Arthur: I love Camelot more than I can say, but when I'm there, sometimes I feel I can hardly breathe. Everyone expects so much of me. Being here with you? I can be myself.

Gwen: I like that, you being yourself.

Arthur: Sometimes I dream of leaving Camelot.

Gwen: Really? Where would you go?

Arthur: I don't know. Somewhere where nobody knew who I was. I'd get some land and become a farmer.

Gwen laughs.

Gwen: I can hardly see you toiling away in the fields all day.

Arthur: Obviously I'd take Merlin with me; he can do all the hard work.

Gwen: I'm sure he'd love that.

"That's when I knew," she stares at her friends, avoiding Lancelot's stare. "the moment I knew that Arthur wasn't in love with me, but Merlin. That day, I ended things. He was confused but I explained that even in his dreams, he never mentioned me, but Merlin. Oh, Merlin was in every dream, by his side always."

"I tried to get him to understand. I explained to him, not so subtly, that Merlin would gladly give up his present life to live with him on farm, but-"

"He didn't listen, did he?" Morgana says knowingly.

"Nope."

Gwaine breaks the awkward silence, "Morgana, what's your plan to get Merlin and the princess hitched?"

Everyone turns to Gwaine.

"What? Do you really think she'll call us here if she doesn't already have a plan?"

"Good point."

Morgana smiles. Somehow, the drunkard knight still seems to surprise her. "Do you guys realise that Arthur only acts on his feelings for Merlin whenever he's jealous?"

The group stares at the princess wide-eyed, urging her to go on.

"Remember that noble from Mercia?" Morgana asks.

"Sir Bayard. Arthur almost waged war against Mercia when he had the gall to ask Arthur for permission to court Merlin." Lancelot answers.

"Lady Helen," Morgana continues.

"Right. She was banished from Camelot for inappropriate behaviour after she asked to see Merlin in her chambers, if I remember correctly." Percival nodded.

"Then there's the stable boy who kissed Merlin on the cheek in front of the King."

"The next day, Erik was sent to the stocks for feeding the horses the wrong kind of apples." This time, it was Elyan who answered.

"Who was that knight that Arthur caught Merlin hugging?" Morgana asked.

"Sir Cedric," Gwen answered.

Everyone shuddered.

"Don't forget Gwaine," Morgana laughs.

Gwaine snorts, "What about me?"

"Do you remember the time you were sent to patrol the outskirts for a month?" Leon smirks at him.

"Yeah, Arthur said he needed the bravest knight because it was dange-SON OF A BITCH!"

And so the Knights, Morgana and Guinevere plot the most important mission in the history of Albion. Project Get Arthur Jealous Enough To Make Him Confess His Feelings To Merlin.

Or PGAJETMHCHFTM.

It's going to be easy right?