Hello guys! I cannot believe it's been already 2 more weeks! Time flies by when all the days are the same, huh?

Irina C, I'm happy every time you leave a review too! Thanks for keeping on reading everything I write!

pjwalterman, it will take a little more time. I mean, Rose is already having some unholy thoughts, but with Ivan, it will be a whole other story for figuring that out :)

isabel97811, wrong or not, I love that too! especially when she's too bratty - one of my guilty pleasures

Just-kiwi, yup, that needs to happen to Rose, but not yet, though. she still has some trouble to cause, but I promise character development is on its way. and yup, Emma will definitely help in the situation

See you in two weeks guys! I promise you an almost love confession! I am so excited about it and I definitely had to let you know it's happening :)

CHAPTER 22 - Yeah, like in the woo-woo thing

Rose's POV

Ivan made sure to clear his name in the morning, when the same source that released the video of "him" and Cathleen fucking, released the clip he showed me in the parking lot. If Cathleen was after some fame after giving away that video, Ivan's surely brought her more attention than she needed.

Okay, I might have contributed to that too, later in the day, by handing over to some spreading mouths whatever dirt I had on her, thanks to Emma. If this is how she wants to play, I can play that way too. I might even add that she will not dare fuck with any of us from now on. Her precious reputation has been shattered.

That problem being taken care of, I am left to worry about the things that actually matter because while we were preoccupied with our stupid drama, there was a Strigoi attack on a family of Moroi.

I only heard about that in the morning, when Dimitri came to inform me I would spend the afternoon without his presence, as he would be in a meeting to discuss the aftermath of the attack.

I don't think twice before asking him if I can participate. We get pretty fast over the whys and why nots, and after I promise I will sit in a corner and say nothing to disturb the meeting, he agrees to take me with him.

But the thing is… Ivan kept his word and sent my old supplies to my room and I got sentimental and started painting. Time passed and when I finally looked at the time…

I am late. Not by much, just some minutes, but still. A princess should never be late, I hear Evette speaking in my head.

I pick up my bag, rush out of my room and run toward the guardian headquarters.

But I'm about to get even more late, as I spot Aaron in my way. On the usual, I would pick another route, despite it taking me longer to get where I want to, but today I know I shouldn't. I don't want to seem rude or disrespectful in front of so many guardians. So, instead of avoiding him, I decide to walk past him.

Against better judgment, he stops me by posting himself in front of me. And it's just his luck there's no one else around.

"Hey there, where's the rush?"

"Fuck off."

I want to continue my walk, but he gets a hold of my arm, and goes as far as to pin me against the wall when I want to push past him.

"Hey, what's with this attitude, still?"

I don't hesitate to pound my knee into his groin. He asked for it!

Bending at the middle in pain, I get a hold of his hair and make him look up at me.

"If you ever touch me again, it will hurt more, you piece of shit."

When I finally enter the meeting room, people are more than surprised to see me in there, but then again, Morois do whatever the fuck they want, so if I want to be here, who is going to stop me? None of them do, nor do they say anything.

Looking at my guardian, he is resting against the wall, arms crossed, and I'm glad he isn't giving me an ugly stare for being late. Still, he taps his index over his cheek, and all I can do is shrug my shoulder in an apologetic gesture. I guess that's a Russian thing for saying shame on you?

Five minutes after I sit in the chair I've been offered, my phone buzzes. It's a message from Dimitri.

Are you alright?

I look at him and nod reassuringly, even though I'm not really sure of how I'm feeling. My heart hasn't stopped beating fast and it's been a while since I stopped running.

I didn't miss much as they were dealing with administrative stuff, but when the main topic of discussion comes, spirits get heated pretty fast. Some guardians lobby for more protection in numbers, others in strategy, and none of the sides is willing to give in and listen to the other.

And they're making so much noise, speaking over one another and raising their voices.

I look around, trying to assess the situation, trying to understand something, and I find myself looking into his eyes. There's that question again in them. He's still worried about me.

This time, I can't nod, so I shift my gaze down and focus on the glass of water in front of me, but it's so fucking hard.

At this moment, the noise is too much for me, but I can't just get up and leave, even though this is all I wish to do. All eyes will be on me again and I'm not having that.

"Silence."

That deep voice, somewhat mad and demanding… it's his voice. He never sounded like that until now, and god knows I've done a lot of stupid stuff.

The majority of the voices quieted down, but unfortunately, the most heated ones didn't give him any attention. So he tries again, this time more vocal. Oh, and I forgot to mention, he slams his palm against the table, a gesture of his that makes me flinch, even if I was practically looking at him.

When his eyes drift toward me, I want to make myself so little that I disappear. His gaze is supposed to be calm and reassuring, but it didn't work out that way. The whole room is silent and because he is looking at me, now everyone is looking at me!

"Thank you, Dimitri, for calming everyone," Anthony takes the stand and starts talking to the room, thankfully, distracting the attention from me. "I get it, people, we all want things to go our way, but we're not the ones to decide what happens. We can only deliver reports and suggestions to the ones that rule us, right? On the other side…" he is now looking at me and I don't foresee a good thing getting out of this. "Maybe we could get some insight into what could happen next from Princess Yilmaz. Could you give us your opinion on what approach we should take?"

In Dimitri's eyes, I see this is not what he planned when he silenced the room. Hell, it wasn't what I planned when I said I wanted to attend the meeting.

Little fucker. He wants to make a fool out of me in front of everyone. Is he that petty over losing a fight?

Oh, god, what do I have to do now? And everyone is looking at me, waiting for something.

"Princess? As our future queen, your opinion matters to us," he says in that mocking tone that made me want to kick his ass in the first place.

"I um… yes, I…"

I want to arrange my hair but realize I left my bangs pinned up. I must look like shit. That's why you look in the mirror before you get out the door!

Okay, I can do this. It doesn't matter how I look, what I say matters.

In order to stand up, I push my chair back, and that's when my bag falls to the floor, all my shit spreading out. Why the fuck did I take this bag with me in the first place?!

I rush after my stuff and manage to hit my head against the edge of the table because I didn't appreciate the distance well enough.

I hear his steps coming closer, so I forget about the stuff lying on the floor and focus on getting the attention off me sooner.

When I am standing again, Dimitri is still walking toward me. I shake my head, so he stops his movement and some seconds later, he goes back to his place.

Straightening my back, I try to regain any dignity that I might still have, but it's really hard as I hear someone stifle a laugh. Fine, whatever. The sooner I finish speaking, the sooner I can get back to being invisible. Maybe I could hide under the table as I pretend to gather my things. I think I could even make my way out, on all fours. I'm really considering that option right now.

"I think…"

Come on, heart, please stop beating this fast. I just need to come up with a solution to this big problem.

I see a woman lean closer to another, and as they're both looking at me, she tells her something that makes her smile. You bitches.

"I'm sorry that-"

"Miss Clark, please get out of the room," Dimitri interrupts me, the harshness coming back to his voice. "And take Miss Rivera with you."

It seems like the two women are the exact two who were smiling earlier.

"But-"

"Out. Now." His tone is back to tempered when he looks at me. "Excuse my interruption. Please continue, Princess."

Why did he do that? He made it all worse.

"I'm um… I…"

The way Anthony looks at me, expecting me to fuck up, I hate it. A lot of them look at me expecting me to say something useless. So if my chances of saying something good are low in their eyes, why wouldn't I just say what's on my mind?

"We should fight back."

"I beg your pardon?" some man says after he picks his jaw off the floor.

"We've been hiding and running from them for so long. Maybe we should stop acting like prey and fight back."

"And how do you propose we do that?"

"Strike them first."

"So, go on a suicide spree," Anthony intervenes with the same sarcasm. "Because we have so many guardians to spare."

"N- no."

"Then? How do you propose we do that?"

"We have the brains. We have such talented guardians, amazing teams and strategies, and all they have is mistrust in each other and-"

"Still, they kill us."

"Yes, I am not saying that our approach so far worked out well. But maybe because we're focusing on the defensive, when we should be offensive. After all, they have our people and we're not willing to do anything to get them back?"

"Is it your people?" Anthony counters once more.

The thing is, for whatever twisted reason, the Strigoi kidnapped the guardians of the family and killed the Moroi right away, and because that happened, it has been decided that there would be no rescue mission.

"It is my people. And just because that decision has been made, it doesn't mean I agree with it. That's why I said we should go after them."

"But we all know they're already dead."

"Maybe. Or maybe not. We should still try to bring them home, even if it's their…" I am not going to say corpses. There could still be hope. "But maybe, if we go after them and kill them, get revenge for the ones they took from us, the other Strigois will hear about that. And they'll start fearing us. Isn't it time for them to be afraid of us and not the other way around?"

"It's easy to stand by and criticize us, Princess."

"I know. But maybe we could help you."

"Help us? How?"

"We could learn to fight. Maybe use our magic and-"

At the same time as Dimitri takes a step toward me, a woman gets up from her seat, and she is the first to intervene in our discussion.

"I think Princess Yilmaz gave us a lot of things to think about. Let's talk about it next time. Until then, this meeting is adjourned."

And that's the cue they all needed. They get up and exit the room, but not until they all stare at me like I'm crazy and expect someone to bring a straitjacket for me. Maybe I went a little too far. Fuck. I thought I was getting somewhere.

In my renewed terrific shame, I start to gather my stuff off the floor. While I'm at it, I take the chance to arrange my hair so that I can hide my newly acquired bump.

Dimitri came to help me, and I let him do it.

"Thank you." I stare down when we get up. Maybe attending this meeting wasn't a great idea.

He's still here and I have no idea what to say.

"If you allow me…" he gets a tissue out of his pocket. "You have…"

He gets a hold of my chin, tilts my head up, and wipes something off my cheek. Pulling away, he shows it to me. Paint. I get it now why he pointed to his cheek earlier. Great. Those two had plenty of reasons to laugh at me. I must've looked like a clown.

"Does your head hurt? You hit it pretty badly."

I focus on his shoes once more.

"Please don't remind me of that."

"Sure. But I would like to apologize for the behavior of those two."

"Oh, it's nothing, I- I kind of deserved it, didn't I? I had some guts to come here and say what I said."

"It's not nothing. Their comments were insensitive and out of place." He heard that? I didn't. "Allow me to make up for it."

"You don't have to. It was stupid of me to come here in the first place."

He smiles. "Maybe some of the things you brought up were… unexpected, but you're the only Royal who came here to listen. Everyone comes here and bosses us left and right. You listened. People will remember that."

"I think they'll remember how crazy I sounded."

"What you said… yes, no one said that before. But at the end of the day, it's something to think about. Maybe it's time for us to try new things."

"You believe that?"

"Yes, I do, Rose."

And it seems like the things I said made these people think about it more. Some guardians even started thinking we should at least try to fight back this one time and they came up with a plan to make it happen, which miraculously got approved by the Council. As I saw myself, Dimitri is among the ones who want to fight back, but because of me, he won't be physically involved in the operation. Still, he has been spending all his free time searching, organizing, planning and well, lately, worrying about the outcome, as the team left the Court three days ago and all we can do is wait for news from them when it's all done.

He hasn't slept for the past few days, thanks to all this. And he still insists on training me.

Let me do this. I don't know what else to do, he told me after his first sleepless night, and I was glad I could offer him some distraction.

But during tonight's training, he falls asleep as I'm doing my laps.

When I realize that happened, I get closer to him and like the creep I am, I eye him shamelessly. This is such a weird position to see him in. He's relaxed, for once these days.

Dimitri's POV

When I wake up, I'm still in the training room. The last thing I remember is Rose running her laps, but that must have been long finished. It's morning already and I'm sure I fell asleep during that.

I get the blanket off me and a note falls off it. It's from Rose.

I might have skipped a lap, but if I ran inside and brought a blanket for you, it still counts as running, right? :)

You lost a lot of nights' sleep so don't get mad that I didn't wake you up. I just hope your neck doesn't get stiff.

When I make my way inside the main building, I find out that someone smashed all the objects in the King's office.

He has summoned all the inhabitants in the main hall and is now demanding to know the perpetrator.

I spot Rose in the crowd and go stand by her.

She greets me with a smile. And it's not only happiness to see me. She seems… proud.

"Mornin' comrade. You slept well?" I am more preoccupied with watching her than responding to her. "Don't look at me like that. This is not my fault."

I bet it isn't.

"For once, you made sure not to get caught."

"Next, you're going to tell me I did a good job?" I only smile at that.

"How did you do it?"

Smiling again, she shrugs, then leans in closer to me and whispers to me in Turkish.

"I couldn't resist the temptation when I saw that bat in the training room. He ruined my room, why wouldn't I return the favor?"

I should be the voice of reason and not encourage her behavior, even though, truth is, if I could have, I would have helped her.

"That was rather irresponsible, don't you think?"

"Are you going to tell on me?"

"As long as you don't plan to do the same to my room."

"Deal. Your books are safe with me."

The next time I meet her, is for our training session.

"Again."

"I can't."

"I said again."

We've been at this for the past fifteen minutes, and I won't let go of it until she aces it.

"Fuck! I'm done!"

She throws her towel on the floor and wants to leave, but I stop her.

"What happened?"

"I know, okay? I know I'm not good at any of this, but I'm trying my best. But I guess it's not enough! I can't do it! I am just not good-"

"If you're going to think that, you're going to act like it. Plus… weren't you the best in your class at some point?"

It happened right before her father pulled her out, and I cannot help but wonder where her skills would have taken her if she continued. I'm sure she would have turned out to be a renowned guardian, just like her parents.

She is genuinely surprised. "You looked through my record?"

"Maybe I did."

"And were you impressed?"

Hell yes, I was. She had as many accomplishments as admonitions.

"Maybe I was." She looks away, getting mad. "What happened now?"

"I don't know, would it kill you if you'd tell me you're proud of me?"

"You want me to… Rose…"

I smile at her, but she doesn't reciprocate, so I drag her to sit next to me on the mat.

"I am proud of you. Of how well you're doing."

"Now you're just saying it because I wanted you to."

"No. I mean it. You work so hard. You've come so far in such a short time and after not training for so long. And if I'm pushing you, I do it because I know you can do it. I'm not trying to be cruel or make fun of you." Her sadness turns into a big smile. "Plus, you wanted me not to go easy on you, didn't you?"

"Yeah, I did. Then… can I try one more time to do that trick? After this, I kind of have to be somewhere."

"Where?"

"I am meeting Adrian."

So late in the night? Alone with him?

"I see. Promise me one thing, will you?"

"What?"

I can't ask her not to go, but maybe I can minimize the bad things that could happen.

"No alcohol. And don't let him drag you into any idea pops into his head."

She nods. Everyone knows about his vices and behavior, so this shouldn't sound too outrageous for me to ask such a thing.

"Definitely no alcohol. Not after what I did the last time I drank."

This time, she was not satisfied with the outcome of the task, and I convince her she will do it perfectly tomorrow instead of doing it again now. After all, she needs to get somewhere.

Still, when she wants to leave, I ask her if she has one more minute to spare.

"Sure."

I bring out a box and hand it to her. Upon opening it, her jaw drops.

"This is… my music box. When did you have the time to do this? How did you find it in the first place?"

"I saw you when you threw it away. It looked important, the way you were holding it the day the king messed your room up, and I thought I could put it back together."

"It was in pieces. Little pieces."

Yes, it was. It looked like she tried to repair it herself but didn't do such a good job and got angry at ruining it further, so she got rid of it, not being able to look at it in that state. Besides gluing things together, I had to get my hands on some new parts too, but at least it's working again.

"And now it's not."

"Thank you."

She takes it out and opens it. Her eyes fill with tears when it starts singing. She watches the little bunny spin around and smiles.

"My mother… she used to call me bunny when I was little. And not because I was all over the place like that little battery fella. It was because I was so in love with this music box. It was hers and she would let it play for me, and we'd dance on it and I'd try to get this pose the bunny is in and…"

She sniffs her nose and wants to wipe her eyes with the sleeve of her blouse, but I extend her a tissue.

"You always carry these around?"

I do. Or at least I do since that night I couldn't offer her one, and I thought it would come in handy to have them with me. And it did, plenty of times.

To her, I shrug.

"You really are a man that takes care of everything." she rests her hand on my shoulder. "Thank you, Dimitri. This means a lot."

I nod. "Go now, or you'll be late."

"Adrian can wait a couple more seconds."

"A couple more seconds for what?"

For her to hug me.

I would lie if I'd be saying I didn't miss feeling her this close. But I'd cut one of my arms off before admitting this out loud.

It was short and when she pulls away I fight my impulse to hold on to her a little longer.

"Now I really have to go."

But not before she hugs me once more. And one more thing. As she thanks me again, she presses her lips on my cheek.

In my surprise, I do nothing to stop her, not that I could have anticipated her doing that anyway.

When she pulls away, I see her realizing what she has just done, and I know I should scold her for it, but I don't.

"I um…" she turns around and rushes out of the room, and I stay behind, replaying in my brain those two seconds over and over again.

God, we can't continue like this for longer.

Rose's POV

He lights up a cigarette the second I enter the salon of his suite.

"Can you please put that out?" the smell is intoxicating as always, and I don't think I will be able to endure it for more than a minute.

To my luck, he discards the cigarette. Instead, he reaches for the bottle of cognac that's on the table, but takes his hand back after throwing me a glance.

"Judgmental much, little Moroi?"

"Well, that doesn't look like tea in your cup, if you ask me.

He smiles. "You heard stuff about me, didn't you?"

"I'm guilty of that," I answer as I sit across him, on an armchair. "But speaking of that… could I dare ask you something?"

"Ask away."

"What is… dabbling?" I go straight for the kill. We can fill our time with pleasantries later.

No one could or would tell me what that is, but I got the feeling it is a bad thing, and as I heard Aaron is involved in it, I want to know more about it. I'm thinking that if I could blackmail him with it, he would leave me alone.

"And why do you suppose I would know what that is?"

"As you mentioned, people talk and you're kind of known to… enjoy the Court life more than others."

This time, he laughs. "Is that so?"

"It sounded rather offensive, didn't it?"

"No. I appreciate the sincerity. And yes, I do know what that is."

"Would you care to share?"

"What do I get out of it?"

It seems like everything has to be an exchange with him.

"What do you want?"

"Tell me why you wanted those books."

"You said you already know why."

He makes himself more comfortable in his armchair, like preparing to deliver a story.

"You never specialized in an element." I nod. He nailed it. "But those books won't help you much with that. Not with what you're looking for."

"And what do you know about that?"

"I know that back in the day, people knew about this strange and rare fifth element." no book I read mentioned that.

"Does such a thing exist?" He nods. "Aren't you just messing with me now?"

"Maybe I can show you it exists."

"How?"

I'm already on the edge of my seat. Who would have thought that out of all the people, he had the answers to all my questions?

"Dream of me tonight, will you?"

I roll my eyes.

"Nice. I thought you could help me, not bullshit me around." but maybe I should have expected him to hit on me. He has a reputation, after all. "Now that you know, do your part of the deal. What is dabbling?"

"I'm not sure you'd be so proud of our kind if you'd know, little Moroi."

I already have little respect for some people of my kind, so how worse can it get, right?

"Call me that one more time and I'm out the door, Ivashkov."

"Fine, fine, no need to get angry."

He tells me that dabbling is when Moroi go out and drug a random human so they can drink blood from him or her without their consent. Usually her, since most of the time it's Moroi men behind it. The human doesn't remember anything later, just that they somehow ended up with bruises on their neck after a night of partying. In the worst case, the human ends up in a hospital with severe blood loss, as these bastards almost drink all their blood. Basically, it's a game of "let's see how far we can stretch this without becoming Strigoi".

"You're fucking kidding me, aren't you?"

"Nope."

"Have you ever done it?"

This is the first time I see his jolly mood plummet.

"I might have a reputation, but I don't think I have to treat a woman like that in order to have fun."

I roll my eyes once more. "So gentlemanly of you."

"I could show you how much of a gentleman I can be."

"Yeah, in your dreams, Ivashkov."

"If you'll dream of me, I surely will show you."

I threaten to leave once more, and he promises he'll behave, but I have no intention of believing him.

After the most important things have been talked over, we spend some more time on useless stuff. He's the best source of Court drama and he's not as bad as people paint him to be. We even get close to friendly while talking about his fashion creations, but he keeps on making things hard with his subtle flirt. I guess it's part of his genome to try his luck with all the ladies.

When I go back to my room, it is very late and I regret putting this dress on for my encounter with Adrian. It seemed like a good idea to wear it when there was someone to help me put it on, but now that I have to take it off all by myself, I realize I can't. And don't get me started on how tight it is, but waking up my maid just for this little thing, in the middle of the night, seems too entitled of me.

Knowing he's still awake, I decide to do the unthinkable and go back to Adrian's room and ask for his help. Of course, after I'll threaten him with cutting off his balls if he makes the littlest of comments about that.

When I open my door to get out, I spot Dimitri in the hallway. So this is what he's doing the nights instead of sleeping?

My luck makes it that he is heading toward my room. Perfect!

I get out and drag him inside my room.

"What's the matter?"

"I need you to get me naked," I inform him as I turn my back to him.

"I beg your pardon?" if Ivan was in his place, he wouldn't have questioned anything.

"Oh, don't be like that. I just need to get rid of this dress or I'm going to faint. It's too tight and I can't breathe. And I can't make sense of all those straps, and I'm afraid I'll get tangled up and never get out of this dress."

Understanding I'm not having other motives, he comes closer to help me.

But my idea was a very bad one, now that I think of it. As he unties the neatly made bows and loosens them up, inevitably, his fingers touch my skin and that's dangerous territory. Oh, how softly his skin touches mine. It's so hard for my mind not to fill with thoughts of him touching me more than just like that.

I try to keep my breathing steady, but that's impossible. And I don't know if I should be glad about it or not when I realize the same thing is happening to him.

When the last bow is loosened, the one at my tailbone, I'm so dizzy I'm ready to faint. His breath is warm against my shoulder and I finally dare look up, into the mirror.

The thing is, he decides to do the same and when our eyes meet, he takes a step back and eyes the rug instead of looking up.

"Do you…" he clears his throat. "Can I assist you with anything else, Princess?"

Princess, huh?

"N- no. No, thank you."

"Have a good night then."

"You too," I answer, but he's already out the door.

And if my night wasn't already weird enough, when I fall asleep, after minutes and minutes of fumbling in bed, my mind not being able to calm down after what just happened with Dimitri, I dream. Of Ivashkov.

I materialize in the same room we had tea in, and Adrian is waiting for me in his armchair, having a smoke.

Oh, fuck me, my subconscious is fucking with me. Cursed things, our minds, right?

Adrian's POV

"It took you a while to fall asleep."

"Yeah… I've been busy."

"Thinking about me?"

How she rolls her eyes, I love it.

"Even in my dreams, you're annoying."

I get up from my place and head toward her, but I don't get to say anything.

"Hey, that's not fair," she says upset.

"What's not fair?"

"You get to keep your fancy suit and I get this?"

Oh, but I kind of like her fluffy pajamas. And the best part of it? They're covered in geese.

"Then change them."

"Change them how?"

"Just think about it."

Her face lightens up. "You mean I can control my dream?" If I let go enough, yes, so I nod. "Cool! I've never been able to do that!" so she hasn't experienced dreamwalking before.

When her outfit changes into an aerobic outfit from the 1980s, I cannot help but laugh.

"You ditched the geese for this?"

"So what? I always wanted to try this on and see how I look."

To make that come true, I snap my fingers and a mirror appears in the room.

"This is fucking awesome!" she squeals and rushes in front of the mirror. "And I look lame, just as expected," she adds laughing, and I join in. She does look funny dressed in that.

After a minute of consideration, she changes her clothes again, this time to a dress. A Dior dress, let's be specific.

"Nice taste, little Moroi."

She smiles at me, and I know she'd like to tell me to shove that nickname someplace, but it's just a dream, so why would she bother?

"Come, let's go."

I take her hand in mine, and she doesn't pull away, so I start walking, and she falls in step with me.

"Where are you taking me?"

"Where would you want to go? We can go anywhere, after all. It's your dream."

"Anywhere I want?"

"Anywhere your heart desires. Just name it."

"Italy," she says right away, a spark lighting in her eyes.

"Italy it is." I hand over to her complete control of the dream. "Think of where you want to be and we'll be there."

As the décor starts to shift, I recognize the museum. Out of all the places in the world, she wants to be in a museum? I didn't expect this from her. She seems to be the kind to prefer a sunny beach, but I guess there is more to her that I could learn about.

"Florence, huh?" I ask as I help recreate the beautiful garden of the Uffizi Museum.

"I always wanted to see this place."

Her smile keeps widening and widening as I contribute to the dream too, from my memories of the place.

"I can't believe I was never able to control my dreams. It's awesome! It all seems so real." If she'd only know. "I need to see the inside too."

With that, she runs away, hurrying to open the doors of the museum. When I catch up to her, I hear the excited sounds she makes as she awes at every piece of art around her. I happily follow her as she explores around. It's nice to remember I was exactly like this when I started dreamwalking.

As time passes, I think she forgot about me because when she turns around to search for something else to admire, she gasps when she sees me behind her.

"Oh, you. I was so excited about this that…" She continues to look at me, like pondering her thoughts. "Should I apologize? I mean, you're still a figment in my dream but… sorry I guess. I shouldn't have left you alone."

"I didn't mind."

"You didn't?"

"It's nice watching you be so excited." I wish I still had that.

"And it's nice having you around without your flirty attempts."

She winks at me and turns around in search of another painting.

She stops in front of Lady in Red.

"You two match."

"The fuck we do. We're nothing alike."

"Well, yes. You're more beautiful than that."

She laughs. "I can't believe it, I'm literally flirting with myself right now."

Oh, what a shock she'll have tomorrow when we'll talk about this.

Rose's POV

I wake up to the sound of knocking on my door. Insistent knocking, like the person on the other side knows I'm asleep. And I'm about to show them what happens to the ones who disturb my sleep like that.

But when I open my door, I'm too surprised to say something. In front of me is Dimitri, and he's smiling. He's so happy that I forget I wanted to punch him a second ago.

"It worked," he says the second he sees me.

"What worked?"

"The rescue mission. It worked. They're back."

"You're fucking with me." am I still dreaming?

"I'm not. And no one died. They're a little ruffled up, but nothing that some rest cannot mend."

"Oh, god!"

Without thinking too much, I throw myself in his embrace and he holds me tight before we both realize what we're doing and pull away.

"Sorry about that."

He lets it pass with a nod. "I didn't even tell you the great news."

"Is there more?"

"Yes. They got a hostage back alive."

"They did?"

"Yes. And all thanks to you. You're changing things, Rose. You're actually doing it."

"I wasn't the one who did the hard thing."

"But you did something. You started this." smiling like earlier again, he touches my upper arm. "Thank you."

On our way to the infirmary, the King intercepts us. He wants to talk to me, in private, and he doesn't seem in too good spirits.

He sends Dimitri away, but he doesn't move.

"Guardian, I said walk away."

There's a little staring contest going on between them, and I start wondering: if Dimitri is willing not to listen to that order right away, what else is he capable of doing?

I don't plan to find out, so I get his attention.

"It's alright, Guardian. You can wait for me in the infirmary. It won't take long."

His eyes linger on me, like saying You know what happened the last time.

I nod, assuring him I'll be alright. After all, Randall would not do anything to me in such a public place. Hallways aren't his thing.

After hesitating for another second, Dimitri leaves.

When we're alone, at last, the King's mood plummets further.

"I told you to stop with the controversy."

"From what I remember, you were the one who gave the green light for this to happen."

"Just because-" he bites his tongue.

"Because you thought it would fail. Because if that happened, I would have been the one blamed for it. But it worked. I'd say you did this to yourself, my King. Now, if you excuse me…"

I walk past him and head toward the infirmary, praying he didn't see I was shaking. But he grabs my hand and stops me.

"You'll regret it," he threatens.

"Then I'll make sure you'll regret it too."

I snatch my hand out of his and walk away.

At lunch, Adrian comes to me, and after not asking if he can join me, he sits in front of me at the table. Not that it matters, but I would have said yes.

"So? Did you have a nice dream last night?"

"Oh, fuck off Ivashkov."

"As you wish, Lady in Red," he gets up and wants to leave.

"Wait."

He got my attention, as he wanted, and with a smile, he sits back down. He gives an even more charming smile to Miss Yana when he refuses the plate of food she brought.

"What did you call me?"

"Don't you remember it, from last night?"

"Okay, what the fuck is happening? Am I being punked?"

"No. Don't I look serious enough?"

"Tell me what's happening."

"Let's have a walk, shall we?"

I finish up my plate and we get going. Walking out of the range of intrusive ears seems like a good idea.

"Do you care for a drink?" he asks me as we head outside, to the gardens.

Why is he stalling? Can't he tell I need him to tell me now?

"Don't you think it's too early for that?"

Despite my comment, he gets a flask out of his jacket.

"It must be happy hour somewhere."

"Well, even if I wanted it, I'm not allowed to."

"Oh, the underage years. You could still get a sip of this, but I think that would count as corruption, right?"

"I don't think you'd be able to do that either."

"Is the Russian with his eyes on you at all times?"

"Yeah."

He is keeping his distance now, leaving us the privacy of our exchange, but he is very attentive to us. If Adrian would try to even hand me that flask, I'm sure Dimitri would snatch it away in no time.

"And now would you tell me what's going on?" does he want me to say please?

"Let's start with the beginning then. You never found your element."

"We already established that yesterday. And you made it clear enough that some books won't help me."

"Yes. But didn't it seem curious to you how I know about all that?"

"Well, I've never heard of any other Moroi to barge in other people's dreams, so I'm guessing you never found yours either. Could I do that too? The dream thing, I mean."

"What do I know? You're the only one I've ever met who is like me."

"Dimitri thinks I am- we might be the same as Saint Vladimir. That we could… I don't know, revive plants and stuff."

He laughs. "He thinks we could be some kind of saints? Well, I didn't take those books too literally, but who knows? Maybe we're saint material."

"I don't know. I have never done anything special. Can you do more than that dream thing?"

"I can see auras."

"Like in that woo-woo thing, auras?"

"Yeah, like in the woo-woo thing."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound condescending. I just… I never believed in that."

"Well, it's real. The colored thing around you, I see it."

"What do you see when you look at me?"

"It's mostly red, with specks of orange and yellow. But if I don't focus well enough, it's all covered with gold. That's very bright. I've never seen that before. You're the only one who has that."

"Not even in yourself?"

"I can't see my aura."

"What about his?" I point toward Dimitri.

I am asking because I want to see Adrian in action, as some skepticism is still there.

"His is mostly purple and red. But right now, I spot some dark green in it."

"And what does that mean?"

"I haven't figured that out until now."

"So, despite seeing them, you cannot make sense of them?"

"I said I can't make sense of that particular color, not of the entire thing."

It sounds like a big lie to me, but I let it pass.

"Do you think I could see that too?"

"Maybe."

"And what do you propose I do?"

"I don't know. Maybe tap into it? Think about it? Try to feel it?"

"How did you know you had it?"

"It just came to me. First the auras, then, I would slip into people's dreams if I thought about them when I fell asleep. And somehow, I learned to control that."

"Do you think you could teach me?"

"Oh, I am no teacher."

"Please? You're one of the few people I know who I can talk to about it. And when it comes to the practical stuff, you're the only one who actually does this."

"I can try to help you. But I cannot promise you more."

"I don't mind. It's way better than the big nothing I accomplished by myself."

"Then, I'll look for you when I come back."

"You're leaving?" and yes, I am disappointed.

"Last night you couldn't find a faster way to get away from me and now you want me around, little Moroi?"

"Well, the circumstances have changed."

"It won't be for too long, but I have a commission to fulfill. Until then, I don't know, try some meditation." I roll my eyes. I don't need other Zen lessons, I have Dimitri for that. "I know it's more of that woo-woo thing, but sometimes it helps to tap into it."

"Okay, I'll give it a try."

But my calming practice has to be put on hold because my dearest husband asked me to join him for dinner. I can only wonder what will get out of this meeting.

We resume to pleasantries and enjoyable stories, until he tells me that he wants to put the other paintings of mine in another exposition. He is thinking of making a whole exposition only for my work.

"Why is that?"

"I want it that way."

His answer makes me smile. "That sounded so backstreet boyish of you."

He smiles too. "In fact, it wasn't my idea. I was wondering what we could do with your other paintings because people need to see them and Dimitri said we could make that happen."

"He did?" first he threatened Ivan not to give away May and now this? "I don't know what to say."

"Say anything you want, but don't say no."

"I don't know."

"I do. I'm sure of it. Just let me make this happen."

"Why?"

"I don't think people should miss out on your talent. And maybe… I could make it up to you for the previous mess."

"I don't think you're the one who has to make up for stuff."

He shrugs. "Then consider your saying yes as making it up for that."

He's so excited about this, I cannot make myself say no to him.

"Okay. Let's do this."

We discuss things further at breakfast. Except for our dinner last night, it's funny how this meal has turned into our thing. Maybe he thinks that if I'm well rested, I'm in a better mood than after a long day. Hence, why he probably brings up this new party now. He asks me if I want to attend it with him.

"Only if you want to go. Maybe making some more friends would do you good."

With Emma gone to study and Lissa busy with Christian, I am only left with my guardian. Or rather, he is left with the task of entertaining me, and at times I'm still wondering if I'm too much to be around.

"Does Dimitri want to get rid of me?"

He laughs. "Of course not. But you know, we are who we are."

"Or rather, we will be who we will be."

"Yeah. And people want us around at such events."

"And you're asking my opinion about it?"

"I've learned I should come to you first."

"Then… I think I'd like to go with you."

Ivan's POV

The night goes well. At first, at least.

We spend our time mingling with the others, separate or together, we make our inside jokes about other guests and their outfits, and at last, we dance. That's when things go south.

"One minute, it's all you get," she teases when I ask her to dance.

"I can live with that."

She puts her hand in mine and I lift it to my lips, kissing it softly. I tell myself I did it for the appearances, but I mostly wanted to see her reaction to it.

She rolls her eyes. Just as I expected.

"Oh, so gentlemanly. I bet it doesn't take much from here to getting a woman in your bed."

That sounded like a tease, but she didn't sound too playful. She sounded rather pissed, but still, I continue to play that game.

"If you want something, all you have to do is ask."

"Let's make something clear," her tone gets harsh. "What I like sexually is none of your business."

"I can make it my business," I might be pushing it too far, but I just love getting these reactions from her.

"How about no?"

"Then… it will be whenever you ask me to."

"What makes you so sure I will ever ask you such a thing?" I shrug. "You're so fucking cocky!" I pull her closer to me and she gasps. "Ivan…"

"Have a little faith in me. I promise I'm not a selfish lover."

"Do you know how many times I heard that?"

"Yeah, but I can keep my word. I can show you a good time."

"Give up on that or I swear I'm pushing you off the stairs when no one's looking."

"Why don't you give up on pretending you don't want it?"

"Because I'm not pretending. You may end up in a nuthouse with such disillusions."

"Will you come to visit?"

I see in her eyes that she hates it that I find a way to twist anything she says. I bet that in her head she's telling me to go fuck myself or something similar.

Oh, I'm such an idiot. Why do I love making my life hard?

I pull her back when she wants to take a step back, which annoys her further.

"I bet this attitude of yours got you a lot of ladies to spread their legs for you."

I laugh. "I am not the devil, you know?"

"You could as well be. It's easy for you to want anything, and get it, isn't it?" the anger just turned to bitterness and I fear something bad is about to happen.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It's supposed to mean that you're…" she shakes her head, and I see her disappointment in me, even though I still don't know what happened. "It doesn't matter to you. None of the consequences. They never did and it will never change, am I right?" I open my mouth to inquire what's wrong, but she stops me. "It means that you're not… people will never point fingers at you. They won't say anything about who you're sleeping with, they will just mock me instead. Each time I think I can trust you, even so little, you…"

"What did I do?"

She laughs bitterly. "Of course you're playing the innocent card. I heard it, Ivan. I heard how you were bragging about fucking that woman to your friends."

Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck!

"Rose…"

"If that was me who had been in your bed, you would have done just the same, right? They would have heard about it. I would be just another on your list of conquests."

"Rose, it's not-"

"Don't try to excuse it. There is nothing to explain. I got it right this time, right from the source. There is no conspiracy behind it, no Cathleen to make me think you're… I don't expect you to be faithful to me, I couldn't care less who you fuck, but god fucking dammit, do you have to brag about it? Do you have to make me look stupid in front of them?"

"Let me ex-"

She pulls out of my grasp.

"You should leave. Don't come near me anytime soon."

I respect her wish and leave. After all, I fucked up. Not in the way she thinks I did, but I can understand how things look to her. I cannot deny it, I did what I did and I said what I said to my friends, but none of that's true. I never did the thing I said I did and I bragged about it because I knew it would get to my father's ears. I haven't been in his graces lately, and I thought this would remedy that, but in exchange, it drove Rose away from me. How the fuck do I fix this now?

Rose's POV

Yes, call me petty, but I want to get back at him. And what other way there is than to cause trouble? I'm the best at it.

Looking around the room, it doesn't take me long to spot another troublemaker. She's quite tipsy and seems ready to fight. So am I.