Kim skipped her run the next morning. The picture of those large animals flashed every time she closed her eyes. Her heart took hours to stop pounding in her ears, and her eyes were watery from staring at the computer screen. When she finally went to bed, at almost 3am, she could have sworn she heard howls in the woods.
Wolves?
There was no way they were wolves. They were so…big.
But they weren't bears, either. She spent enough time staring at that picture to recognize the shapes—the ears, the long tails, the jaw of one open long enough to just barely make out the blurry silhouettes of its rows of sharp teeth.
Their supernatural aura was an energy that she could feel through the screen.
For hours she tossed and turned in bed and stared at the dark ceiling. She wasn't even sure when she fell asleep, because when she did, she dreamt of those wolves. How many times had she unknowingly passed them? How many other paw prints had she passed? How close were they? Have others seen them?
She'd regularly had nightmares since middle school, but these were…different.
She thought of Charlie. She suddenly felt bad for not following up with him after the bonfire. She was tempted to answer one of the endless AIMs, but she didn't want to open the flood gates. She was determined to talk to him at school, no matter how uncomfortable it would make her.
Kim watched the pale blue light slowly peak through the blinds. It was another rainy day. Her temples throbbed. She glanced at her alarm clock. 5:15AM. She was sure her body would never forgive her if she got up to run this morning.
And the very thought of being out there with those mysterious creatures made her throat close up.
Riiing. Her heart leapt into her throat when the phone rang, her mind instantly going to her mom. She hasn't returned home yet—had she somehow crossed paths with the animals? She bolted off her bed and ran to answer. "Hello?"
"Hey, girl! You sound breathless—did you just get back from running?"
"What?" It took her a moment before she recognized Maya's voice. "Oh, no. No, I didn't run. It's too rainy. Why—?"
"I'm outside! Want a ride to school?"
"I'll be down in a sec."
She hung up and scribbled a note to her mom: Left early with Maya. Throwing on a sweatshirt and jeans, she grabbed her backpack and ran down, barely rubbing the tired out of her eyes.
Maya's car idled near the door. Her curly hair was pulled back into a bun, and she wore a rumpled sweatshirt and a tired smile.
Kim reached over immediately and hugged her tightly. "Did you even sleep? What time did you get home?"
"Nope, and about 3 hours ago. My dad is, like, so annoying. 'You have to go to school. It's your senior year!' Ugh." She turned down the Christina Aguilera song before tilting her head. "You look exhausted. Stayed up waiting for me?"
Kim rolled her eyes as she clicked on her seat belt. "I'm not slap-happy like you when I'm tired."
"Good thing we have plenty of time to grab some coffee."
Nothing was open on the reservation this early, which meant they had to drive past the high school and into Forks to get coffee at the McDonalds. When they received their order—a black coffee and hashbrown for Maya and caramel frappe for Kim—they parked in the McDonald's parking lot and watched the rain pelt on the windshield, the radio playing in the background.
Maya munched happily on her hashbrown as she talked a mile a minute, talking about school, her cousins, and Vancouver. Kim listened quietly, sipping her coffee.
Maya inspected her out of the corner of her eye. "Hey. You okay?"
"Yeah, I just—" She forced a smile. How could she possibly talk about Jared or the pictures or even the stupid bonfire without sounding crazy? "Sorry I'm so quiet, I'm just tired. I'm really happy for you!"
Maya looked at her a moment longer, not believing her. "You know I'm going to miss you, right?"
"Yeah, I know–" It's not about that, she wanted to say, but her eyes began to sting. Don't cry, don't cry. "I—I'll miss you, too." So much.
Maya twisted in her seat to face her, her lower lip wobbling. "You're so full of shit, Kim."
A wave of sadness hit her as Maya reached for another hug, and before she knew it, tears were falling down her cheeks. "Fuck, this sucks," Maya cried.
Kim was too shocked to cry—she could count on one hand how often Maya cried.
"We still have a while," Kim said. "And this is our last semester of high school together. We're going to make the absolute most of it."
Maya laughed. "Okay, now you sound like me. Great, now I look even worse. I didn't have time to do my hair." She wiped her cheeks off, inspecting herself in the mirror. "So…that means we're going to Charlie's party, right?"
I should have known. "You're still on that?"
"Of course. You were the one who said you wanted to make the most of her senior year. Besides, Charlie's parties always mean free alcohol, and I'm not one to turn that down."
"Yeah, I know." She rolled her eyes at Maya's wicked grin. "It's not my fault he thinks free beer will get us back together."
"It wouldn't hurt."
Kim didn't reply aside from rolling her eyes again.
Maya grinned wickedly. "Seriously, he still asks me about you..." She laughed at the sour look on Kim's face. "Girl, he's got it bad for you."
"Believe me, I know." She sighed. "Fine, I'll go. You should have seen him at the bonfire—if Elizabeth wasn't there, I'm pretty sure Charlie would've tried to kiss me."
Maya hesitated for a moment, chewing her lip. Kim looked at her expectantly. "Have you ever considered getting back together?" She interrupted before Kim could protest. "I'm just saying, okay? Charlie has his flaws, but he was always so sweet to you. I'm pretty sure he even held doors open for you and all that romantic stuff."
"Maya," Kim said in a low tone. She could feel a headache start behind her eyes. "Charlie was nice. He is nice. I think any girl would be super lucky to be with him, it's just… I don't know. There was, like, never a spark there." She looked out the window.
"I can't believe it," she said, shaking her head, "you're probably the first girl in history who wanted to end things because a guy was too perfect."
Kim shrugged.
"It doesn't have to do with Jared, does it?"
No...yes. She wasn't sure what she was more annoyed at: Maya's assumption, or the fact that she was mostly, partially right. "Ugh, why are you even pushing this? I feel like I can't tell you anything because I just assumed you'll take Charlie's side, anyways. You were my friend first—" Her throat threatened to close, and she couldn't go on.
They sat together, neither speaking.
"Kim, you idiot, you're my best friend," she said quietly.
Kim looked over at her and could see the worry pinched between her eyebrows.
"I'm sorry. I just...we used to be the Three Musketeers, you know? I miss that. I never felt like the third wheel with you guys. Maybe it was because you never had that 'spark,' or whatever. I can't blame Charlie for wanting to make it like it used to be." Maya drifted off, and sighed. "But It's your decision, and Charlie should respect that. I should, too. I shouldn't just assume it has anything to do with Jared at all. I'm sorry, Kim."
Forget about the time Maya cried—the amount of times Maya apologized was close to none.
Tears collected in the corners of her eyes despite her shock. "What did Vancouver do to you? Replace you with an alien?"
Maya choked out a laugh. "Who knows, maybe all of this college stuff is making me more mature." She pretended to flip her hair over her shoulder. "But, no, seriously, I don't want to fight. Much less over boys."
Kim's heart nearly burst in her chest, and she blinked back tears. She began to feel time was slipping away from her. Her mind thought of the memories, family, friends, boyfriends, that lead to here, and how the future remained an uncertain mystery. Sitting in the McDonald's parking lot was a weird bridge between the past and future.
Words tumbled out of her, her voice shaky. "It's going to be so weird, not having you here. It's like…everyone is moving away but me."
"Hey." Maya pulled her into her side and kissed the side of her head. "You know I'll visit you all the time. And you're not the only one staying here."
Kim snorted. "Like Charlie?"
She pulled back, frowning. "If you're really worried about the party, you know we don't have to go."
Kim shook her head. "No, it's okay. I guess I'm just…still freaked out about the bonfire."
Maya sighed, moving away from their embrace. She noisily sucked down the rest of her frappe. "Well, hopefully the party's not as exciting as that."
She thought of Embry; his terrified eyes, his hot skin, his terror. Then Jared, looming over her, quietly asking her to trust him.
Her thoughts turned to the pictures in her inbox, the ones Elizabeth took.
The legends are true.
Kim's eyes watched the rain drip down the window. "Hey, did Elizabeth email you those pictures from the bonfire?"
Maya twisted her lips to the side. "Hmm, I don't think so, no. Why?"
An avalanche flew from her lips as she tried to explain. "She took a picture of me—well, before the picture, Charlie and some others went out to get firewood, and said they saw something in the woods. I noticed something in the background that kind of freaked me out. I—ugh, I'm not explaining it well—"
"Pause. What was in the picture?"
"It was some kind of animal. Charlie said they saw a bear, but it looked like…a really big wolf?" Kim grimaced. "I know I sound crazy."
"He was probably trying to scare you. Or he was hoping you would snuggle up to him!"
I wouldn't put it past him. But the fear in his eyes couldn't be faked. She knew him too well. Kim shook her head. "But I saw them in Elizabeth's pictures. And Jared was acting weird, too. And Sam…"
Maya's frown deepened. "Sam was there, wasn't he?" She started her car. "We should probably head back."
She knew it would be useless. There was no convincing Maya the two were connected, even if there was no convincing Kim that they weren't. "Right."
Kim was disappointed, but not surprised, when Embry didn't show up to school. Her eyes darted around the hallways and peaked into classrooms, but there was no sign of him anywhere. She was tempted to go up to Jacob Black and Quil Ateara when she saw them sitting on the bleachers in the gym, but decided against it. What would she even say to them?
Students were preoccupied with catching up rather than talking about the bonfire, for now. She was sure there were whispers.
She assumed it was another day without Jared when he darted in seconds before the bell rang.
All eyes, including hers, drew to him. His gaze stayed fixed to the ground as he walked to his seat and sat down. She was surprised when he looked over at her and actually winked, the barest of smiles on the corner of his lips.
Her cheeks pooled with warmth, and she smiled back automatically before directing her attention back to the front of the room. She was sure her heart was going to leap out of her chest.
Groups of chatter burst between the aisles, eyes darting to Jared. Even Mr. Adams's face changed, a tightness in his eyes, but he said nothing.
Jared looked better than he did the night of the bonfire—and better than that night at the diner—but bags were still visible under his eyes and his hair fell messily over his forehead. Kim was happy to see his hair a bit longer, but it added to the oddness of his unkempt appearance.
"Alright, everyone," Mr. Adams announced from the head of the room. "I hope you all had a good Winter Break. If everyone could take your papers out, I'll come around and collect them. We have a full day of learning ahead of us."
Everyone moved to take their papers out, some groaning. Kim pulled hers out and flipped idly through it, to keep her hands busy.
"This was supposed to be typed, Mr. Cameron."
Kim turned to Mr. Adams, who stood at Jared's desk, a thin stack of wrinkled lined papers in his hand. He held it like he could catch something from it, pressed between two fingers. Her heart sank at the sight.
Jared, however, merely shrugged, not sparing a glance at him. "I did the assignment, sir, so I don't see how it really matters." The way he said it sounded like he might as well have told Mr. Adams to go screw himself.
Total silence enveloped the class. Kim felt her jaw drop. When Jared looked over at her, the very corner of his mouth tilted up, as if they were in on a joke.
"Do you think this is funny?" Mr. Adams said, a vein already pulsing on his forehead. "Go to the office, Cameron. Now."
All eyes were on Jared. He hesitated a moment before standing to his full height, towering over Mr. Adams, and grabbed his backpack and silently walked out. A few students grumbled their disappointment, expecting a show.
Kim watched his retreating figure, who didn't even bother looking back as he slammed the door shut. The room exploded in a flurry of excited whispers as Mr. Adams stood, annoyed as he attempted to settle them down.
They quieted when he finally threatened them with joining Jared in the office, but pockets of students bent their heads together when his back was turned. And—it could have just been Kim's imagination—but a few of the whispers also mentioned her, glancing at her when they thought she wasn't looking. Her face burned as she took her notes.
For the rest of the day, she caught more and more snippets of gossip about the bonfire. Even the librarian had to ask a few groups of kids to leave because they wouldn't stop talking during study hall.
Kim didn't see Jared at lunch, or Paul. Not that she was brave enough to approach either of them, despite the smile he shared with her. But the theories that floated around the school were outrageous. Everything from Sam Uley using the boys to traffic drugs, to doing random bouts of vigilantism across the state. Some students recalled that she was there that night, and tried to start a conversation with her about it. Kim almost laughed when someone in her Physics class had the audacity to ask her if any of Embry's blood got on her clothes.
By lunch, she was growing agitated at the quips and snickers in the halls. Elizabeth sat with her friends, her back to their table, but Kim could tell she was being grilled, too.
"Did you take any pictures?"
"Can I see them?"
Did she fully trust Jared? Not entirely. But maybe if she didn't get the answers, she could help.
She wasn't sure what compelled her to walk back to Mr. Adams's classroom after the final bell rang. Maya offered to give her a ride home, but Kim asked her to wait. "I have to talk to Mr. Adams about my essay." She was surprised how easily she could lie to her.
"Oof, good luck. I'll wait in the car—Mr. Adams will catch these hands if we're ever in the same soon together."
The hallways were quiet as she slowly approached Mr. Adams's classroom. She overheard his voice all the way down the hall, and when she stopped at the door, she saw it was only him and Jared.
Jared locked eyes with her immediately, a frown tugging at the corners of his lips. He sat slumped in the desk that was comically too small for him, his legs splayed out and his arms crossed tightly in front of his chest.
She took a deep breath in before knocking on the door. "Mr. Adams?"
His head shot up from his papers and the frown on his face deepened. "Come back tomorrow. This is detention, Ms. Connweller, unless you'd like to join?"
"Oh, um, I—" Her eyes flickered back to Jared. Here goes nothing. "I just wanted to say that…I would like to offer to help Jared in this class."
Mr. Adams's eyebrows shot up. She didn't dare look at Jared.
"That's very kind of you. But I think this goes beyond catching up on some homework."
Kim hated to argue, especially with a teacher—especially when that teacher was him—but she forced herself to keep talking. "I know. I just think he's frustrated that he's so far behind. I'm not saying you should take detention away or anything—of course not—but maybe I can help him fill in the gaps? I think he deserves another chance."
"He deserves it, is that right?" Mr. Adams tilted his head to the side, squinting at her. "I've given Jared multiple chances, and he continues to fall short."
Kim's mind raced, feeling herself losing this battle. It was too late to back down. "Mr. Adams, I know you have a lot going on, too. You have more classes than ours to teach, and you're a busy teacher. What are you going to do with Jared during detention? Anything I could do to help…take the burden from you?"
He looked at her oddly for a moment and she worried that she'd sounded like a total idiot for nothing. Oh my freaking god, I'm being such a kiss-ass right now.
Then he nodded with a scary smile, satisfied as a cheshire cat. "I see where you are going with this, Miss Connweller, and I do appreciate the sentiment. I was going to have him continue writing essays on his bad behavior. Perhaps it would be better for him to focus on relevant work."
Kim nodded quickly. It's working. This is working? I can't believe it's actually working. "Absolutely. I can share my notes with him, and make sure that his essay meets your requirements."
"And when would you and he meet?"
Her eyes darted over to Jared. He hadn't said anything yet, but he didn't say no, either. "Whenever. I, uh—we can talk about that later. Um, after he's done with today's detention, of course."
"Of course." Mr. Adams turned to Jared. "And what are your thoughts on all of this?"
Jared nodded slowly. "Um, yeah. Sure."
"Wonderful. You can start this week."
A rush of air left her lungs. It worked. She wasn't quite sure how happy Jared was with this news as he just continued to stare at her.
"Good bye, Ms. Connweller." Mr. Adams's voice caused her to snap back to herself. She turned around and shuffled out the room, but she could have sworn she heard Jared laugh quietly after her.
It was quiet in the diner. And…awkward.
Kim forced herself not to fidget as she stood on the other side of the counter. Jared silently read his history textbook and took notes on his wrinkled notebook paper. She knew she was watching him way too closely, but she couldn't believe that not only did Mr. Adams agree, but Jared went along with it.
She was anxious all day. The previous night, she prepped the study materials with her heart in her throat. Kim brought her notebook and flash cards filled with her notes. Thank god I stopped doodling Jared's name with little hearts in my notebooks years ago.
Jared made no mention of the study session leading up to it, and left class as soon as the bell rang. Kim prepared herself for him to not show up at all—until he walked in just after 10:00 PM.
She was surprised that he'd shown up at all. He barely looked at her all week. Not that she was expecting him to say thank you, but he completely ignored her. That whatever happened between them in the Community Center was totally imagined.
Was he that upset with her?
Maybe she misread him. Ugh. She wanted to slam her head on her book. He should be thanking me! Was studying with her really worse than being in detention with Mr. Adams?!
"Won't you get in trouble?"
Kim's eyes snapped up at his voice; he was watching her.
She looked around. "Oh. Um, no, they don't care. I study all the time when it's slow at work."
"Of course you do."
She shrugged with a closed-mouth grin. "Well, your friend Bev is coming in soon, so we can move to one of the booths later."
Jared frowned. His hoodie was still up, and she longed for him to push it off so she could see his face more clearly. He titled his head, his eyes still on her. "How many times do you invite classmates to study while you're working?"
Her heart lurched. Lie! "Oh, you know. A few times."
She wouldn't mention that it was usually with Maya.
"So, I'm not that special, huh?"
She pretended to think for a moment. "Hm, nope."
"Ouch." He feigned a wince, humor glimmering in his eyes.
She grinned down at the papers in her hand. She shuffled them, still feeling anxious under his gaze.
"So. Your boyfriend—he doesn't mind the engagement ring?"
She bristled at the word boyfriend.
"It's not that weird. Sometimes people get married right out of school." She lifted her gaze to his. "Like Sam and Emily."
Jared snorted, and shook his head. "You can't let that go, huh?"
She shrugged, trying to act nonchalant. "It was just very sudden."
"Yeah, you're right. They should've gotten knocked up first."
"Shut up," she said with a burst of laughter. He smiled ruefully over at her in response.
Jared turned back to his work. "How do you know Leah?"
"Her and Maya were close. We used to hang out all the time when we were kids, and Sam and Leah used to drive us to practice. She was like a big sister to us—we wanted to be like her."
Jared circled his thumb on the smooth ceramic handle of his mug. "Are you sure we're talking about the same Leah Clearwater? The same girl who used to get into fist fights if anyone teased little Seth, or who made grown men cry with her glare? That's who you want as a 'big sister'?"
Kim rolled her eyes. "Yes. She's not afraid to speak her mind or let you know you sound like an idiot. At least you always knew where you stood with her."
Jared snorted. "You got that right," he mumbled.
"Have you seen her recently?"
He raised an eyebrow. "You really think she'd fuck around with me now that I'm hanging out with her ex?"
Her cheeks warmed. "Yeah, I guess not."
She went back to her textbook. She forced herself to appear casual.
After a few moments, she went to check on a table and cash out another. By the time she made it back, he'd stopped taking notes. "Do you have a question?"
"I'm hungry."
She started to roll her eyes, but the look on his face caught her. He faced his worksheets, and looked up at her under his eyelashes. It made her fidget. "Hi, Hungry, I'm Kim."
He snorted and shook his head.
"Don't you have, like, 20 worksheets to make up?"
He lifted his face to her. "I can't think on an empty stomach. I'm serious—wanna share something?"
She blinked. "I… I have customers."
He took the opportunity to fully turn around in his seat and look around at her sad excuse for "customers"—which solely consisted of one trucker who was smoking outside, his dog on a leash. Jared turned back around with raised eyebrows and gave her a Seriously? look.
"Yeah, well, you never know who could walk in—" Of course her stomach took that moment to growl in protest, and Jared's eyes widened.
"Holy shit, that was you?"
She could feel her cheeks heat up to an alarming degree. "I, well, haven't had time to eat yet."
He continued to stare at her for another comically long beat. "Well, that was a rhetorical question but now I'm concerned. We're changing that immediately. Get me a menu—please," he added when she shot him a look.
When they finally decided, Kim reluctantly put the order in. "Are you sure?" This is a lot of food.
"This is payback for helping me."
"You don't have to pay me." And it's not like you acted very grateful for the help.
"Just take the damn food, Kim. You're a good teacher," he finished with slightly less edge in his voice.
She wrung her hands on her apron nervously. "Okay…thanks."
They waited on the food in awkward silence. Jared had stopped writing for a while now, and she could tell he was no longer reading the page because she wasn't reading hers, either.
"Hey..." Jared was already staring at her when she looked up. They locked eyes instantly.
She could feel a slight flutter in her chest. "Y-yeah?"
He swallowed. "I—"
"Oof, it's so slow here tonight. How are you doing, Kim? I—oh."
They both turned to look at the front door and saw Bev, her relief, standing behind her. Her blonde box-dyed hair curled around her head and her mascara was slightly smudged. She stared wide-eyed at Jared, then Kim, and back again.
"Hey, Bev," Kim greeted. "This is Jared."
She nodded. "Yes, I know. Good to see you, Jared."
Jared sank slightly in his seat. "Hi, Bev," he mumbled.
I guess Gus and Zora weren't the only ones who didn't know that Jared was still in high school. Kim raised a single eyebrow at him before untying her apron. "I'll go do my outs before I clock out. We're going to stay and study for a bit, if that's okay?"
Bev shook her head as she clocked in. "You two go ahead, I'll take care of it. Got nothin' else better to do, anyways."
She smiled, "Thanks, Bev." She pretended not to notice the wink Bev shot at her as they moved to the booth in the far corner.
After refilling the ice and starting a new pot of coffee, Kim clocked out and took off her apron. She sat on the bench and breathed a sigh of relief at finally getting off her feet. She rolled her neck, closing her eyes as she arched her back into a stretch. She took a slow sip of water before looking back to Jared, but he looked away the moment she did.
To keep her hands busy, she took out a highlighter and underlined dates in her notebook.
Thankfully, the bell rang. She moved to get up and get it, when Bev waved her off. "I'll grab it, you two kids look busy!"
Kim slowly sat back down and laughed when she noticed the grimace on Jared's face.
"You look like you've seen a ghost," Kim said. He looked over his shoulder.
"I don't want to talk about it."
She pressed her lips together to hide her laugh when Bev returned with their tray of food. Steamed rolled off of their home fries, eggs, and bacon. Jared eagerly shoved his papers aside to make room. He picked up a piece of bacon and popped it in his mouth. His head fell back and let out an exaggerated moan. "Fuck, that's good."
She had to stare directly at the plate in front of her—she was sure that she'd spontaneously combust if she looked at him after he made a noise like that. Even if it was over food.
"C'mon, don't be shy," Jared said, his mouth full.
She picked up a few pieces of toast, eggs, and fruit. They ate quietly for a moment.
"Not a fan of bacon?" he commented.
"Hm, no." She shuddered. "Not since last year. We had that track meet in California and collectively ate, like, 12 large meat lovers pizzas. I can't look at bacon or sausage the same."
He laughed, shaking his head at the memory. "Oh, yeah. Right. I remember that. Didn't we throw up everywhere after that?"
She cringed. He had to remember that?! "Oh, god, of course you'd remember that."
He threw his hands up in surrender, making no effort to hold back his grin. "Hey, I don't have room to talk. I barely remember that night—I was too busy throwing up, too."
She couldn't believe it. What other embarrassing things did he remember? She could picture all the times she whispered her loving devotion at her track teammates, or stared longingly at Jared during warm-ups. Her childhood obsession flooded back to her so fiercely, she was sure that a hole would open up beneath her and swallow her whole.
"If it makes you feel any better, I got so hammered that night that I pissed on Coach Myers's car."
Kim's mouth fell open. "No."
"Oh, yeah." The corner of his pulled into a smirk. "Not that I remember it—I was told about it by Myers himself the next morning. He had the hotel staff pull up the security footage and everything."
"Oh my, god." Laughter began to overcome her, and she struggled to keep quiet. "How did you not get kicked off the team for that?"
"A lot of ass-kissing and free car washes." He shrugged. "Pretty sure that should've been considered child slave labor, but whatever."
When she was finally able to get herself together, she saw Jared smiling at her with a wide, goofy grin. This was the old Jared, the one she remembered, the one she stared at longing during class. The silly class clown with a heart of gold.
They sat together smiling at each other for a moment until Jared looked away. Kim forced herself to take a bite of her toast.
They ate in silence, Jared gleefully finishing the last of the bacon in two large bites.
"Actually, it was your boy, Embry, who saved my ass."
At the mention of the forbidden name, Kim froze. Jared's face remained perfectly neutral.
"What do you mean?"
He shrugged. "He vouched for me. He was only what, a sophomore, at the time? But he stood up for me, even when he didn't have to. He's a sweet kid, even then. I seem to attract a lot of teacher's pets." He shot her a teasing smile.
She stared at her water glass, tapping her fingernails against it softly. "Embry and I weren't that close. We grew up together and our moms used to babysit while the other was at work, until his mom left. I'm pretty sure there's a baby picture of us sharing a bathtub somewhere."
"Cute."
"Right?" She rolled her eyes with a smile. "But we're not that close anymore. He's friends with Charlie, but we never really hung out."
Something touched the corner of Jared's eyes, and he tilted his head at her. "And Charlie knows of this alleged baby picture?"
Kim snorted. "Knows of it. Embry made me promise to never let it see the light of day. Even Maya hasn't seen it."
He blew out a breath. "Brave."
She took a sip of her water with a smile. She wanted to fill the air with more questions, but she also wanted to enjoy talking to him. She pushed her plate out of the way and nodded at the notes and worksheets strewn across the table. "Ready to dive back in?"
Jared watched the steam roll off his coffee for a moment. "Why not invite me back to your place?"
Kim nearly choked on her water. "Wh-what?"
"To study. Obviously. I meant: why didn't you invite me over to study?" He cleared his throat, and avoided her eyes.
"I wasn't sure if you wanted to. To be honest, I'm surprised you even showed up tonight."
He looked as if he was going to deny it, but nodded slowly. He took another bite. "Yeah, I was debating it."
"Hmm." Kim wasn't sure how to take that. Was she supposed to be offended? She stared pointedly at a crack in the linoleum floor. "So, what made you change your mind?"
"I'm not sure. Making up for lost time?"
"'Lost time'?" she repeated, her brow furrowing.
"Yeah. We weren't close in school, or in track. And, you…you're different than I remember."
Different? What is that supposed to mean? "What do you remember?"
Please don't say you remember being the love-crazy weirdo that would follow you around everywhere and write very cringey poems about you. If you so much as mention the word "diary," I'm going to self-combust. I'll move to the mountains where no one will ever see me again.
But he grew very silent, his face pensive. He leaned forward, his elbows on the table as he thought. Was he doing this on purpose? She could smell him: laundry detergent and something else. It made her gut twist.
"When my mom died…I had this box of cards at her funeral." He avoided her eyes, looking pointedly out the window as he spoke. Her heart immediately sunk at the memory but didn't dare interrupt. "It wasn't my idea, of course. The school counselor thought it would be a good idea to have a box so people could just throw cards and shit in. So that I wouldn't have to stand up front and be forced to listen to people say they were sorry, or whatever." He glanced at her with a small grin curled on the corner of his mouth. "It wasn't a bad idea, honestly. And I got a lot of money, which was really nice. I bought so many fu—so, uh, many video games with it. People just wrote 'sorry your mom died, here's a fifty.' That was honestly the best part."
She huffed out a quiet laugh. A gust of air swept through the dining room and a chill ran through her. She crossed her arms over her chest, mirroring him.
"I don't remember much from that day. A lot was going through my mind, you know, so I just—I just kind of shut down. But after a while, I went through all of those cards and letters, and so many of them were too mushy or too personal—like, how many of those guys really know me, really knew my mom?"
Jared trailed off a moment, lost in thought as he stared out the window into the parking lot, the cars passing on the road, the black forest behind.
She remembered that—the suddenness of her death shocked the community. The uncertain trajectory of his life. The search for his father.
"I was sent to a few foster homes last summer. I was too old for anyone to really want me, which was fine by me. It was a pretty miserable summer–I woke up in stranger's houses for weeks all over the state. All of the video games I bought got stolen, too, which really sucked. So I was going through the cards again one night, and then I read yours." Jared finally turned to Kim and her heart thundered. "I don't know if you remember what you wrote it in."
Of course she remembered. She spent hours, days, agonizing over the words she'd scrawled on the inside. She swallowed thickly.
"'The pain of losing your mother will never go away, and that's okay. It's okay to feel sad or angry or confused. Just remember that all of the good memories you have of her will always stay with you. Hold onto those when you think of her.'" He rolled his eyes. "And that was in a card with fucking glitter on it. It was all over my clothes for weeks."
A surprised laugh flew out of her mouth, slightly breaking the tension in the air between them. Her hands flew to cover her face. Her cheeks and forehead were warm to the touch.
"It was all they had in the sympathy section," she said. She couldn't believe this conversation was really happening right now.
"It was exactly what I needed."
She peaked through her fingers at him. "I almost didn't even give it to you," she mumbled.
"I'm glad you did."
She could feel his knee brush hers, and she thought he would move it, but he kept it there.
Warmth spread across Kim's face and neck.
A familiar car pulled into the parking lot, the headlights flashing into their eyes for a brief moment. A smile touched her lips when she saw Maya before it immediately fell when she noticed Charlie in the passenger's seat.
It took everything in her to not freak out as they climbed out of the car, waving through the window. Kim waved back, her lips in a tight smile. What the actual hell were they both doing here?!
Charlie waved with a stiff smile, his eyes already on Jared. He frowned as he and Maya spoke, their heads bent to each other as they headed toward the front door.
"Is our study group expanding?"
Kim snapped her gaze to Jared, his eyes guarded. The vulnerability from before was gone, and she felt helpless as she shook her head. "I don't know. I—I didn't know that he—what they're doing here."
Jared grunted, not saying more before the bell at the front door chinged! open.
"Hi, Bev!" Maya shouted from the entrance.
Bev waved before shaking her head, turning back to the cash register. Maya didn't appear to notice as she and Charlie walked up to the table. Kim had to turn in her seat to see them and she forced her face into a grin. Her face was still very warm, and she hoped it wasn't noticeable. "Hey, guys, what's up?"
"What's up?" Maya repeated, her voice teasing. The look in her eyes told Kim all she needed to know. Busted.
Kim shook her head as minutely as possible, praying that she wouldn't try anything— Like embarrass me!
"Oh, you know, we just wanted to pop in, say hi. We thought you were working tonight?" She turned to Charlie, who was eyeing the worksheets thrown on the table.
Kim grit her teeth together, silently fuming. Because, seriously, what was Maya playing at?
"I just clocked out." She glanced at Charlie. "Jared and I are in the same history class. We're studying together."
Kim knew Charlie well enough to know that he felt threatened. He squared his shoulders and puffed his chest out more. Jesus, she really, really hated boys. "Mr. Adams's class?"
Jared flashed a quick smile that showed all of his teeth. "That's the one."
Charlie nodded slowly. "He's tough. It took me all year to maintain my A."
Jared's eyes flashed. "It's a good thing I have a really good study partner, then."
The difference between Charle's puffed-out chest compared to Jared's cool aloofness was comical.
She wasn't the only one to notice his tone. Charlie continued to nod like a bobble head, in that way Kim knew he was getting even more annoyed. Maybe if she distracted him, he'd leave. She was definitely going to have a conversation with Maya.
"What's up, guys?" Kim asked, casually taking a sip of her coffee, now gone cold.
"Oh, right." Maya extended a thick envelope over to her, "I picked up your pictures from Walgreens. I guess they couldn't figure out how to zoom in, so it's super blurry. Sorry."
"Oh, okay." Kim inspected the torn opening and raised an eyebrow at her friend.
"Don't look at me!" Maya threw her hands up. "Charlie wanted to see them."
He nodded. "Yeah, they look like the bears we saw that night at the bonfire."
Kim sat up straighter. "They do?" She opened the envelope, palming through the half dozen pictures. She pulled out the first picture, of just her smiling and set it aside. Maya was right; the other pictures were difficult to look at. She had trouble distinguishing where the "bears" ended and the trees began.
Standing a bit too close to her, Charlie pointed at the picture of Kim still on the table.
"You look, uh, very pretty in that picture," he mumbled awkwardly. Kim fought a cringe.
Maya laughed, elbowing his side. "Smooth."
"Thanks," Kim mumbled. She wasn't sure what was worse: that Charlie was openly flirting with her in front of them, or that Maya was enjoying how uncomfortable this all made her.
It was at that moment that Kim noticed how quiet Jared was. He looked down at the pictures on the table. His body was tense, and trembled slightly from the cold.
"Guess your dreams of being a forensic scientist are down the drain," Maya interrupted with a pouty bottom lip.
Kim looked back down. "Cold Case Files made it look so easy."
"Are you guys almost done, then?" Charlie interjected, and Kim wanted to throw something at him.
Before Kim could answer, Jared said, "Nope."
"Cool. We can wait. Do you need a ride home, Kim?" Charlie asked.
Maya groaned. "Dude."
"I have my mom's car," Kim replied, tense. "Thanks, though."
He didn't hide his dejected look.
"See you tomorrow," Maya sang, making Kim sink into her seat. She was never going to hear the end of this.
She moved to the front door, winking at them. Charlie moved to follow, and hesitated before he suddenly moved his face towards Kim's.
He moved so quickly that she didn't have time to react until he'd already planted a kiss on her cheek.
What–?!
He kissed her cheek—right in front of them!
Kim jerked back from his touch, and stared up at Charlie, wide-eyed.
"Well, just—call me when you get home," he said slightly breathless.
"Charlie, let's go. I'm leaving you." Maya slammed the door closed with a huff. She walked outside with an angry frown, glaring at Charlie from behind the glass. Maya could yell at him for both of them.
"Night," he said before walking away. When he jumped into the car, Maya mouthed "I'm sorry" at her before putting the car into reverse and speeding away. She hoped that Maya was doing what she did best—chewing his ass out.
Kim sat in complete, mortified silence. She couldn't believe that had just happened—Charlie really had the audacity to do that all because he felt, what, threatened that she was studying with someone other than him? Another guy?
She hated confronting him, but when was he supposed to take the hint? When would he finally stop trying to get back together with her?
It took several moments for Kim to realize how quiet Jared was.
The next half hour was spent in near silence as they returned to their homework. She had to reread his answers several times. She stuffed the pictures back into the envelope without sparing another glance at them—she'll have more time to obsess over them when she got home.
At some point, Kim stifled a yawn. She struggled to keep her focus on the page in front of her, and kept rubbing her eyes.
"We can call it." The sound of his voice drew her eyes to him, and she didn't miss how absolutely bored he looked, his face completely slack and without emotion.
"It's late," she agreed, her voice croaky. "You did a good job so far. I think Mr. Adams will be happy to see this is paying off. Well, as happy as someone like Mr. Adams can be."
Despite her rambling, Jared continued to sit in silence. No playful winks, no snarky comebacks even.
She struggled to think of something to say as she packed up.
"I'll walk you to your car."
As they left, she gave Bev a half-hearted wave, and Bev returned it with a smile.
They walked out into the parking lot, walking slowly to her car. The night was cool, and the smell of dirt and coastal waters filled her senses. There must be a storm out there; it was unusual to smell the ocean so far inland.
"When do you work next?"
"I work Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Sometimes I pick up a Sunday, depending on how much homework I have."
Jared nodded.
She looked up at him. "And you…?"
He spoke slowly. "My schedule's unpredictable. It's hard to get a night off."
She raised an eyebrow. "And I'm guessing you won't tell me what keeps you so busy?"
He finally revealed a smirk. "That's on a need-to-know basis."
Kim rolled her eyes and fought a smile. His comment should concern her, not make her feel giddy. But his attention was thrilling.
He cleared his throat. "I should be free this Friday, though. We have enough guys to cover, so…"
She bit her lip. "I can't do this Friday."
"No?"
"Charlie's party is this week."
"Hm. Yeah, I heard." He crossed his arms.
They remained silent for another moment. They slowed to a stop when they reached the car.
"You could come, if you want…" She smiled shyly. "Didn't you say you were free…?"
He didn't respond for a beat before his eyes rolled. Caught. He exhaled dramatically as he stared up at the night sky and shrugged, his heavy arms still crossed over his chest.
"I guess this is when I ask for your phone number?"
"Oh—I, um. Okay. Right." Kim fumbled with her notebook and ripped a paper out of her notebook as she scribbled on the hood. Did this mean he was going to come? She didn't want to risk it and ask. "I share a landline with my mom. Here's my email address, too."
He pocketed the paper. "I don't have a computer."
"We could go to the library sometime, if you want. Mr. Adams doesn't usually take late assignments, but if we type your paper up, he might give you half points, at least."
"Nah, Adams can shove it." The corner of his mouth lifted as he looked down at her. "Besides, I don't mind coming here."
"Really?"
"Less eyes on us."
Oh.
"Right." She rubbed her thumb over the door handle for a moment. Of course he wouldn't want to be seen with me... "I guess people at school do stare at you a lot."
He shrugged. "I'm used to it by now."
"If you decide to come on Friday, you should let me know." She looked up at him carefully.
He hummed. "Right. We'll see if your boyfriend lets me on his property with both my kneecaps intact."
She frowned. Again, with the word boyfriend? "Charlie is a friend."
"So, you just let all of your friends kiss you?"
Kim stiffened. "Only if you ask nicely for it."
She surprised herself. She sounded more angry than she was—she was hurt, above all else. First, he admits that he doesn't want to be seen with her, and now he's upset that Charlie kissed her—when she has the right to be more upset than he is!
She fumed, popping open the car door handle.
Immediately, Jared's hand shot out, stopping her car door from opening more than a few inches. Kim stalled, her hand still on the handle.
"And...we're friends?" He was close. His voice was incredibly deep and soft. She could feel the heat rolling off his body.
It took a moment for her to realize she hadn't answered. "Do you want to be?" she asked, wide-eyed.
His lips pressed into a smile.
He moved towards her slowly. When he stepped closer to her, his height blocked the fluorescent light behind him. She imagined that if there was anyone else who would happen to drive by, they wouldn't even see her—she was perfectly hidden between him and the car.
If Kim reacted at all, this would stop. The pull that lingered in her chest whenever he was near slid down, and pooled in her stomach. His closeness was making her heart race, so close that they almost touched.
She couldn't look away from Jared's eyes even if she wanted to.
His lips pressed against her cheek so quickly, she could have missed it. They were soft and warm and lingering. She stifled a quiet gasp at their touch, and she refused to move, to not break this tension between them.
He hovered at her cheek for several long beats after his lips made contact. His shallow breath warmed her skin and the tip of his nose tickled her cheek. He was so close, so close, she could see his face. His eyes were heavy, half-lidded, as he looked directly at her—and at her mouth.
He wants to kiss me.
His breath became labored, matching hers; he was shaking now. His eyes were dark, desire brimming under the surface. Desire?!
If she was brave, she would tilt her head and capture his hovering mouth, open and waiting.
The desire ached inside of her so deeply, her whole body hummed. It would take no physical effort at all—to step up on her tip-toes, to slip her lips over his. It would be so easy. She held her breath.
He stepped away. The tension stretched between them, and his eyes stayed on hers. She released her breath in a rush.
"See you," he finally said, his voice tight.
Before she could reply, he turned around and walked briskly away. His long strides led him into the forest before Kim could realize he didn't drive there.
A/N: Chapter title inspired by "Just Like Heaven" by the Cure.
Reviews are appreciated! Find me on Tumblr/Twitter at icedb1ackcoffee