DISCLAIMER: The story doesn't belong to me; the characters are property of S. Meyer, and the plot belongs to Annalau Thank you so much for letting me share your story in English!
Gracias Laura, por darme esta oportunidad!
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Chapter 30
Edward's POV
In disbelief, I stare at her as the corners of my lips turn up in a feigned smile. The rage I am feeling at her revelation is overcoming me and I want to hold her face and force her to look me in the eye.
I take a step because I need to hold her close, and she backs away crossing her arms.
"Don't lie!" my mother interjects in a shout, "You are my husband's mistress! I've discovered you..."
"Shut up!" I interrupt, turning to Esme. It's exasperating to be listening to the nonsense she says, my mother just watches me with her eyes so wide she's about to protest. "Your ex-husband is a fucking stalker!" I roar at her dumbfounded face, "Don't you dare defend him!"
I turn to Isabella. I'm upset enough that I can't control my dislike for the man who sired me.
"When did you see him?" I shout.
She bites her lips and glares insolently at me from her position.
"Don't yell at me!" she demands with that bossy tone that lately comes out of her.
I rustle my hair, resorting to the only method to calm myself down, for the life of me I don't want to yell at her. But she is so desperate and confrontational that she exhausts my patience.
"Answer me!" I hold her forearms. "When did you see him?"
"It was the day I asked Esme for help," she whispers looking at me.
"Did he do something to you?" my eyes run over her "Did he touch you?"
She denies.
"How can you say that?" my mother steps in again, taking my arm. "Bella is the mistress!"
"It's not true!" Isabella shouts, letting go of me to go against my mother, "Carlisle is a madman who has been bothering me all the time!" I hold her waist before she does something foolish, my arms around her tightly. "How can you defend him!?"
"You're lying!" Esme responds with the same courage as Isabella confronts her. "Carlisle is an impeccable man who would never do such a depraved act."
"That man you defend bought me for one night!" She screams in despair and cries. "He bought me! do you understand? He was able to buy me and since then he won't leave me alone."
My mother looks at us horrified, reacting with a strong slap in Isabella's face.
"Stop it," I intervene, stepping in front of Esme and stopping her from approaching Isabella, "Don't you dare touch her again!" I warn, "Don't force me to throw you out of my house."
Esme recoils: her eyes have become glassy from the held-back tears.
"Are you defending her?" she questions, "Does this mean you are on her side even though she is your father's mistress? Do you prefer her?"
Obfuscated I rub my face trying to be patient for my mother.
"You don't know Carlisle," I say. I don't want to finish the sentence because I don't really know him either, I just sense that he is not who I thought he was.
Disappointment takes over Esme and her crying starts to become loud.
I help her to sit on the couch and join her side with my palm on her back. I encourage her with gentle massages as I see her so heartbroken amid her heartbreaking crying.
"Listen to me," I beg as her body snuggles against my torso. "Carlisle is not who you think he is, Mom."
She cries harder and denies burying her head in my chest. I sigh deeply and focus on her fragile posture protecting her with my arms.
"I've never been anyone's mistress, Esme," Isabella whispers between tears, focusing her eyes on my mother. "My only mistake was accepting a scholarship in college and having agreed to the pressures of a classmate who proposed me to offer my virginity on an Internet site" She takes a breath of air. "Carlisle was the one who bought me for one night, but I never met him. I swear. Instead, I met his son who was the one who usurped her then-husband. I have never had any interest in Carlisle and Edward is witness that I have only been with him, in my life, there has been no other man. And regarding the property you mention, I have no idea what it is about, I have signed absolutely nothing that makes me feel I own a house. Edward" she turns to me, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you that I had seen your father, I did it thinking about the welfare of my family."
"A family that doesn't love you and sees you more as a hindrance in their lives," I spit in pain. "I asked you more than once that you should tell me if Carlisle bothered you, we talked about it enough times and you promised to be honest."
"But this is my family we're talking about," she interrupts, "It doesn't matter to me if they don't love me," her voice becomes a faint whisper, "I could never live in peace knowing that something happened to them because of me. Understand me."
"You are so used to begging for crumbs of affection from everybody" I continue. "Do you think that because of this your mother is going to fall at your feet or do you think Charlie will have the courage to love you regardless of what his wife says? Do you really think so? Because I'm sorry to tell you that it's not going to happen even if you sacrifice yourself a thousand times for them."
Isabella lifts her face and with teary eyes looks at me just as her lower lip trembles.
"You are right. I'm used to begging to be loved, maybe that's why I desperately looked for someone to take care of me" shakes her head. "Very bad decision."
"Wanting to run away again?" I question as I watch her walk to the entrance. She stops without turning around still with her backpack on her shoulder, I sit up leaving my mother sobbing on the couch. "Where are you going?"
Isabella wipes her tears looking at me as I stand in front of her.
"The last thing I want to do is to cause more problems than I have already caused, so I prefer to leave."
"Why?" I ask, resisting the urge to hug her and give her the comfort she needs. I was a big son of a bitch to say that she's just begging for love.
"I'm so tired of being the one to blame for everything bad that happens around me. I deserve some peace in my life."
"You think you'll get it by running away?"
"Well, if I stay away from you I might," she replies, holding my gaze.
Thoughtfully I am filled with anger, disappointment, and frustration at the same time, I refuse to believe that she prefers to walk away from me despite what we talked about. Even though I am capable of laying the world at her feet if she asked.
"Edward," I hear Esme shout, "son..."
Confused I return to her side; my mother lies sprawled on the couch about to fade away. I hold her in my arms as her eyes turn white. Isabella approaches, gently tapping her face, but Esme doesn't react. Carmen appears between our screams to make Mom react with a cotton ball soaked in alcohol.
Remaining calm, I take her in my arms and carry her to the van; I drive past the edge of traffic, leaving Isabella to care for her in the back seat.
I park at the first hospital and the paramedics help me lower Mom's limp body onto a mobile stretcher. All the while Isabella and I keep our distance and don't exchange glances, letting time pass.
After what seems like an eternity, the doctor in charge of the emergency room approaches me telling me that Esme had arrived in a critical state of stress and that she must remain under observation for twenty-four hours to evaluate another possible crisis.
"How are you feeling?" I want to know when I see her open her eyes, run a hand through her docile caramel-colored hair and she swallows saliva becoming restless.
"The photographs came to me through an anonymous envelope," she murmurs letting her tears slide down her temples, I wipe them immediately trying to make her feel better. Esme hates to look weak. "I don't know what to think... there were the photos and a document that certifies Bella as the owner of a house your father bought for her. Who could send me such a cruel thing?"
"Stop thinking, Mom," I hold her hand.
My mother looks so frail lying on the stretcher that her distressed countenance worries me.
"I also know he's been living in the same building as the McCarty office for months," she continues recklessly. "He's been stalking her, Edward. Your father is a monster, he's a fucking degenerate."
I try to relax. I need my mother to see me calm, even though inside I can feel my blood churning like volcanic lava to go after Carlisle and confront him.
"There in the envelope is evidence of your father living in that place. It's as if the real purpose of the photos was just to make me see that they were..." she sobbed loudly. "I need to talk to Bella," she tries to straighten up and I stop her with my arms, "I must apologize to her," she asks in tears, "please ask her to come."
"Isabella is outside," I explain, "she has been waiting with me all these hours. I'll go tell her she can come in."
Mom tries to smile but fails, shaking only her head as I help her back to her position on the uncomfortable stretcher.
"We're going to take care of her, Edward, we have to take care of her so that man doesn't come near her. We won't let him hurt her" she starts hyperventilating. "I won't let him; I won't do it."
The monitor starts beeping faster, her heart rate is racing as Esme keeps babbling that she will take care of Isabella and is trying to get up to get off the stretcher. I try to calm her down, but when my pleas have no effect, I press the help button for a nurse to assist me because my mother is having another crisis.
Within moments the medical staff enters the white room and begins to administer some type of medication directly into the arm, meanwhile, a nurse guides me out to let them continue with the procedure to calm Esme down.
Being out of the room I start walking down the hallway still in shock from witnessing Mom's altered lapse. I feel strange because I never imagined seeing her in such a vulnerable condition. I reach the waiting area and look for Isabella with my eyes, but she is nowhere to be found, I even go out to the cafeteria and garden area realizing she is gone.
Annoyed I pull out my cell phone looking for her contact and her mailbox greets me instantly.
I have no more news from Isabella for the rest of the day. In the evening I decide to stay and take care of Esme after she was sedated for the third time.
A day later she is discharged and after much insistence, she agrees to stay at my house under my care.
"Why didn't Bella sleep here?" Pat asks as he sees me enter the kitchen. He's eating standing at the counter. "Where is she?"
Carmen gestures for him to be quiet which my son ignores.
"Ah, you argued," he rolls his eyes and continues eating froot loops with milk, "are you done?
"Pat" I want to reprimand him for his insistence. "You should be eating better than just cereal."
He shrugs and continues to stir the spoon in the bowl.
"Bella always eats this, and you never tell her anything."
"She's an adult."
"But she eats very poorly and only knows how to eat cookies, cereal and frozen junk."
I exhale. I leave the kitchen because I really don't want to argue, my mood hasn't been the best since the last twenty-four hours.
Re-dialing Isabella's cell phone number keeps sending me to voicemail. Annoyed I dial Jessica who does answer on the second ring.
"Where is Isabella?"
Jess snorts when she hears my question.
"She didn't arrive to sleep," I say, walking with my cell phone glued to my ear, "I want to know if she's okay and where she spent the night."
"She stayed with Mike" she admits.
"What the hell!?" the tone of my voice registers higher than it should, I pinch the bridge of my nose in annoyance at the new information. "What do you mean she stayed with Mike!?" I ask, "With Mike, your boyfriend?"
"Yes," she replies between stifled laughter that can be heard through the line.
"And why did my girlfriend stay with your boyfriend?" I demand to know.
"They had a team assignment. I was with them, but they are too boring when they concentrate, and I ended up coming to sleep in the apartment" She inhales and exhales noisily. "By the way, Bella went for a run an hour ago, if you want to see her casually get to Lincoln Park. And don't say I told you."
I'm not at all amused that Isabella slept in the same place as Mike. It makes me feel weird and uncomfortable.
"Thanks, Jess." I mumble back, "But you didn't tell me, is Isabella okay?"
"Mmm... you'd better talk to her. See you, Edward," she mumbles and ends the call.
I don't waste time announcing that I'm going to run, I just skid out of the driveway and head for Lincoln Park.
It's a busy Saturday afternoon.
I start walking between the sidewalks looking in all directions to find Isabella. After I'm about halfway there I stop in front of the lake; there are a few couples lying on the grass and families sharing an afternoon picnic.
I continue to walk around the place with some anxiety at not seeing her in the crowd until my eyes catch her sitting in front of the lake with her legs tucked in, she seems absorbed by the sight.
I perch next to her, even sitting very close to her without her noticing my presence, I tease her long ponytail and it's how I catch her interest.
"How is Esme?" she murmurs with her eyes everywhere.
"Better, I took her home," I tuck behind her ear a short lock that has come loose from her ponytail. "She wants to see you. She's very sorry to you and needs to apologize."
"She doesn't have to."
"Are you angry?" I ask, noticing her coldness. "I'm sorry if I made you feel bad, I was upset."
Isabella sighs in a gentle breeze, she lifts her face and closes her eyelids for a few seconds.
I reach out my finger and caress her beautiful face that today is free of makeup, she looks younger dressed in sportswear.
"It's okay, Edward. I've thought a lot about what you said about my need for affection."
"Isabella..."
She raises her finger without letting me speak.
"You're right, I'm doing everything wrong because I needed to belong to someone, maybe in my desperation to feel protected I gave in to you and no, I shouldn't have done it. I must learn that affection is not to be begged for and if I am not loved nothing happens, life does not end. My parents allowed this need for affection to grow in me, that's why I clung so much to Tyler, that's why I got to own Jessica's parents and I'm doing the same with Mike and I'm sure I did the same with you. And no, I don't want to continue this pattern, I need to walk away and first of all learn to love myself. I want and deserve peace in my life."
"Honey..." I hold her face in my hands, her beautiful brown eyes watching me deeply. Letting me see that she's talking to her heart. And no, I refuse to accept it. "Don't martyr yourself, Isabella, it was never you who asked for affection. It was me who approached you even though I shouldn't have because I knew I would expose you and drag you into my world. I was selfish because despite your youth I wanted you with me regardless of the whole world. I have been exposing you to Carlisle's baser instincts instead of attacking as I should have, but I will work it out, baby. I swear I won't let him come near you, ever again."
"Thank you for everything, Edward." She closes her eyelids for a moment and then fixes her eyes on me. "But it's time to end it here."
"No, don't ask me to do that," I beg, feeling a sense of anguish growing in my chest, "I won't leave you.
"It's necessary," she says, "we must give ourselves some time."
And here we leave it, now in a couple of days I will bring the other part. Any doubt or something you want to say about the chapter? Do you think Edward will stay so quiet and leave her?
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