I don't own Twilight. What I own is my character's behavior, personality, background, and the plot of the story.
Author's note at the end of the chapter.
Slowly Bella stands up. She dusts off the snow that clung to her backside then turns to face the cottage with smoke leaving it's chimney. She didn't even see a chimney when she was cleaning inside, but then, she didn't inspect the place as thoroughly as she should have before she left. As she takes her first step toward the cottage, Marco's words echo in her head.
You won't make the wrong choice. Charlie and I won't let you. If push comes to shove, your dedication to Cece will stop you. You won't make the wrong choice. Have faith in us being there for you. Have faith in yourself.
Faith in herself is something Bella has always lacked. It's what got her in a codependent relationship with a man who emotionally abused her. She thought that she had fixed it after years in therapy. She knew for certain that she did when she came back from Italy two years ago. Turns out that things weren't as sturdy as she thought they were. She has never stood on solid ground the way she thought she did, and now it feels like she is back to square one.
Not for the first time, she racks her brain trying to understand where the lack of faith in herself came from. It feels like she has always had it, like a second skin, or maybe an underlayer to her skin. That would explain why no matter how hard she tries to scrub at herself, she can never seem to be rid of it. Even as a child, it was there like a shadow of herself. Most kids relished in causing trouble and wrecking havoc, not Isabella. She was the kid that gave herself a time out if she made a mistake. The littlest drop in grades would get her to feel so devastated even though her father was never angry at it. She used to always think to herself that she was an unworthy daughter for Charlie to have because despite having an FBI agent for a father, her athletic abilities were sub-par at best.
Despite how proud Charlie was of her exceeding in the arts, she always felt lesser than and unworthy because she wasn't the best at something more competitive like math or physics. That's why she got into landscaping. It was the least artsy artistic thing she could do. Even her interest in Edward, it came from a place of admiring him. He chose to do his own thing despite what his parents wanted. His choice was the right choice. He had faith in himself something she never had.
It was intoxicating to see someone with so much faith in themselves. Greatness oozed out of him and she always thought that if she stuck to him long enough it would rub off on her, or at least she would be great by association. That's why she didn't leave him when she started to see the bad in him. She figured that if he had faith in himself, she could have faith in him too. Back then faith in one's self wasn't something you build. It was an it factor. You either had it, or you don't, and Edward had it in loads. She couldn't have any faith in herself, but she could get behind having faith in someone who had faith in himself. It didn't matter that Edward always drank till he lost all his inhibitionand had no problem humiliating whether it be in front of his family, or strangers because she had faith in his capacity to change. She had faith that he would change because how could someone that great treat his girlfriend that shitty?
It was a glitch in the system, a bug that would go away with time once she stuck around enough and proved herself to him.
That's why letting him go had been that painful, because if the person whom she had the most faith in, and who had so much faith in himself didn't change, what kind of a bleak future did she have? She didn't just lose her faith in him. She lost faith in greatness. She lost faith in her capacity for greatness.
Bella shakes her head to rid herself of these intrusive thoughts. This is neither the time nor the place to think of this. She will think of it during her therapy session, but for now, she has more important things to do, like facing the firing squad that is her daughter. Cece has always been highly intuitive when it comes to her mother's emotions. She is like a shark, if she smells blood, she will be tenacious and probe till she finds the root problem, and the last thing she needs is any extra tension in the house.
She pulls her shoulders back and gets a determined look in her eyes as she turns the handle of the door then pushes it open. "Mummy is back," She hears Cece yells from her place on the mate under the coffee table in the living room. Bella smile and blows her a kiss that Cece returns which makes Bella jump up before putting her hand in her pocket as if trying to catch something Cece threw at her then tucking it in. That elicits a giggle from Cece before she goes back to coloring.
Bella walks too the kitchen and states, "Smells good in here," the moment the scent makes it to her nostrils. The image that greets her is awfully domestics, and almost normal, yet feels right; Charlie leaning against one of the cupboards with a can of beer in hand as he watches Edward stirring something in the oven.
"It's a red bean soup. I hope you like it," Edward states as he turns to face her and smiles tentatively. Deciding to accept the olive branch he is extending her, she smiles back which makes him beam at her.
"Well, now that you are back, I can leave," Charlie states as he places the beer on the kitchen table then walks to her to hug her.
"You are wet. Go and change before you get sick," her dad exclaims automatically pulling away. She nods her head in silence then takes off to find her room. She ignores the bathroom door, and goes into the first door. She shuts it as soon as she spots Cece's bag.
The second door, she opens then shuts and pauses for a second then opens it again and walks in before slowly shutting it. The devil on her shoulder whispers to her to snoop in his bags. It's not like he will ever know. Bella finds herself frozen in the middle of the room. A part of her pulls her toward her bag. The other part, pulls her toward the door. She shouldn't be doing this. She is better than this. What will she gain from snooping in his? She won't find anything useful.
"Yes, yes. I need to leave," She whispers to herself as she hastily leaves the room and runs into the only door left. once she changes into dry clothes, she leaves her room and goes to the kitchen and finds Edward still by the oven.
"Are you done?" She asks him as she rubs her palms against each other.
Edward jumps in surprise and splatters the broth against his hand. "God damn it! I just burnt myself," He mutters as he turns toward Bella and glares at him.
Bella shrugs at him as if to tell that he should know better. Edward glares even harder at her and keeps shaking his hand frantically thinking that the pain will go away.
Realizing that on his own, Edward won't do anything about the burn, She switches into automatic mood. She has had Cece injure her hand one two many times and has became an expert at all domestic injuries. She drags him to the sink then turns the faucet on cold water and sticks his hand under it. Ignoring the butterflies that have taken residency in her stomach, she keeps holding his hand under the water until Edward snaps out of his stupor and holds his hand under the water on his own.
"Keep it under the water," She instructs him then she starts looking through the grocery bags they bought with them. The bread she finds won't do it, so she starts looking through the bags for flour. Her old neighbor in Italy taught her that the best way to treat a first degree burn; is by dipping a piece of bread in water and then placing it on the burn. If that's not an option, mix some all purpose flour with water until it forms a paste then spread the mixture on the burn.
Seeing her take out the flour, Edward exclaims, "I am burnt. It's gonna scare and you wanna make a cake!"
Rolling her eyes at him, Bella tells him, "Stop being a baby. It's a first degree burn." Once she finishes mixing, she takes his hand from under the water then drags him to the table, and slowly spreads the mixture on his hand, being careful not to press too hard on the burns.
"Can you feel it cooling?" Bella asks. She raises her head to find her face inches away from his but stays in her place instead of pulling back the way her gut reaction is telling her. Edward closes his eyes in concentration for a couple of seconds then opens them.
"It's working!" He tells her laughing in surprise.
"Of course it is. I am always right," Bella answers.
"Of course you are," He mutters under his breath wistfully as he stares at his hand then looks up to stare her in the eye and ask, "So we're good?"
Such a simple question! Such a misleading one!
One look in his eyes lets her know that he is talk about more than just a burn. He is talking about she found out today. He is talking about everything that has transpired between then and everything that will. Another Bella in another universe would have questioned what he meant. She would have given a clarification in her answer. She would have expected more evidence, more proof that he will do her right, but not this Bella. This Bella wants to learn to have faith, faith in Edward, faith in her choices, but most importantly, faith in herself.
She smiles softly and tells him, "Yeah we're good."
The End.
Just Kidding! We have got an epilogue left.
Hello lovely people,
I apologize for the long disappearance, but as you know life happens. I was traveling for a while, and then got sick. Add anxiety, burnout, and an accidental deletion of the chapter, and you get a late update.
When I started writing this chapter, I didn't know that this would be the last one. It was like an out-of-body-experience. The words were coming to me from somewhere but I am not sure exactly until I found myself writing the last couple of lines. I have let myself marinate for three weeks on the choice to end the story here, cause that wasn't in the cards for me at all. I had a couple of plot points I wanted to happen during their stay in the cottage, but at the end of the day, this story is about a man growing and changing and about a woman seeing that change and trusting him again. I could have had all of those plot twists and cliffhangers, but those belong for this story's prequel, Left Behind, not this one.
The Epilogue is almost done, and I will upload the epilogue with a week from now. Which I am even more excited for you to read than this chapter, cause I have had such a great ending for this story in my head and I can't wait for you guys to read it.
On to some exciting news, I have a new story. It's called Safety Blanket. By the time you read this the prologue will be already uploaded. I decided to share the summary with you below.
Friends since they were five, Edward and Bella have always been together through thick and thin until they have a catastrophic argument that ends in heartache. They lose contact with each other until fate has them running into each other eleven years later. Will their rekindled friendship open the doors for more? OOC AU
Go check it out and tell me what you think.
Until my last chapter,
Stay safe