Raz gasped and stumbled away from the brain tumbler, clutching at his throat. Once again, his dramatic departure from the mental world drew Sasha's attention.

He lifted his goggles, wide-eyed, and tried to say something, to laugh it off, but no sound emerged, until a sob tore itself from his throat. And that was it. Suddenly tears were flowing down his cheeks and he could not stop them, though he squeezed his eyes shut, nor could he stop the sobbing that wracked his small body.

He felt a warm hand on his shoulder, and opened his eyes to see Sasha kneeling in front of him, concerned. Raz wiped the tears from his eyes with his wrist, only for more to take their place.

"Razputin? What happened?"

He tried to answer, but all that came out was another wretched sob. He was only dimly aware of being shepherded somewhere and sat down, of a warmth by his side; he leaned into it and cried his heart out. Everything that had happened since he ran away to Whispering Rock, all the pain and fear and anger and shock he'd pushed aside and bottled up – he let it all out.

Eventually, he ran out of tears, and wailing became sobbing, then slowed to steady breathing.

"Are you… er, feeling better?"

The voice beside him snapped him back to reality, and Raz finally processed his surroundings. He was sitting on the steps next to the brain tumbler, and the warmth he'd been crying into was Sasha's side; he was sitting next to him, one hand on his shoulder comfortingly, albeit a little stiffly.

Great. He'd just had a full-blown emotional breakdown in front of Agent Sasha Nein, and he'd cried messily all over his jacket. Raz covered his face, and he could swear that he was actually going to die from embarrassment.

"Sorry," he squeaked out.

"It's perfectly alright," Sasha said gently. There was an awkward pause; Sasha was not good at comforting people. But he was trying to be there for Raz, at the very least. He looked away, and pushed his glasses up with his free hand. "Everybody cries, Razputin. It is a natural response to emotional stressors."

Raz considered this, looking up at his mentor with those huge green eyes and looking for all the world like a kicked puppy. Strange, Sasha thought, to think he's accomplished so much. He's just a young boy.

"…Even you?" he asked softly, wiping his eyes again.

"Indeed," Sasha admitted. Raz hummed a soft acknowledgement, and said nothing for a time. He simply sat there, hands clasped in his lap, staring at the floor. Nein did not press him. The machines in the lab beeped and whirred to fill the silence.

Finally, the boy spoke. "I used the brain tumbler while you were gone."

Sasha psychically pulled out and lit a cigarette. He took a thoughtful drag off it before answering. "Thank you for telling me, Razputin. I know that took a great deal of courage."

"You're… not upset?"

Agent Nein turned toward him and frowned. "I am. You disobeyed an order, one I gave for your own safety." Raz hunched into himself a bit, lowering his gaze. "But… you already knew that. You clearly regret it."

Sasha took another drag of the cigarette and then let out a sigh. "And, in your defense… I encouraged similar behavior when I was training you in marksmanship. I have not been consistent with you, and for that… I apologize."

"Oh," Raz said, clearly caught by surprise. "Um, thank you. And, uh… I apologize for using the tumbler when you told me not to."

"I had suspected you had. You have been uncharacteristically secretive and withdrawn lately. But I thought it better to let you bring it up yourself. May I ask what you saw?"

"Uh, well… I don't really know where to start."

"Well, let's begin with why you used the brain tumbler while I was gone, and what you saw that you felt you needed to keep secret."

Raz cringed. The way Sasha worded that made him feel very guilty. He bit his lip and watched the lights flash on the various computers around the lab. "I've just been feeling… bad, lately. Not quite sad, just… I dunno." He waved his hands vaguely. "I just wanted to get in there and sort my Emotional Baggage already so I could feel better. And I thought whatever was wrong with the brain tumbler didn't seem too bad, and I thought I could handle it."

As Raz stared at the floor, fidgeting nervously with the hem of his jacket, Agent Nein frowned, worry creeping into his gut and bordering on guilt. He wasn't going to jump to conclusions, but he was keenly aware of the possibility that whatever had been wrong with his brain tumbler had gotten worse while he was gone, and had caused Razputin some sort of trauma. He made a mental note to put better safety mechanisms on the device, even if that wasn't what had happened.

Still, he said nothing, letting Raz continue. "It was fine at first. My mental world was starting to freeze over, but it didn't seem like it would be anything I couldn't deal with. Every time I've gone back in it's been colder and colder, with all this ice and snow, and I can't even get anywhere without levitating anymore. But it wasn't bad at first, it's just… That's when I met the dragon."

The boy wrapped his arms around himself, clutching his upper arms as if he could feel the snow he spoke of even now.

"I see," Sasha said at last. "Have you seen any of this since I recalibrated the brain tumbler?"

"Yeah," Raz said despondently. "I… don't think it was ever broken, Sasha. None of that stuff went away after. Not even the Censors. They still attack me – usually when I try to argue with the dragon. I think the problem is… me."

That would certainly explain why he kept this secret. He couldn't exactly talk about any of this without admitting to disobeying Sasha's instructions while he was gone. "Hmm. Can you tell me more about this dragon, Razputin?"

"She calls herself Melancholia. She's this big, black dragon, like really big. One of the biggest mental figures I've ever seen. She's got all these horns and spikes and sharp claws and everything. She keeps saying things like 'your family doesn't love you' and 'you don't deserve to be a Psychonaut' and 'I've got all the tags for your Mental Baggage' and, y'know, just stuff like that."

Sasha gave his shoulder a slight squeeze. "You do deserve to be a Psychonaut, Razputin. You have earned it; do not doubt that."

That brought the first hint of a smile to Raz's face. "Thanks. I just… I couldn't beat her, Sasha! I tried to fight her and… and it looked like I was winning at first, and then she just got back up and said…" He swallowed hard, and his voice dropped to a shaky murmur. "She said that the only way to kill her was to… kill myself."

He instantly felt Agent Nein's hand tense on his shoulder. He glanced up at him; if he hadn't spent so much time around him, Raz might not have even been able to pick up on the subtle concern written on Sasha's face. But it was there, behind his schooled mask of stoicism – in the slight rise of his eyebrows, the way his breathing momentarily stopped.

The way he chose his words so very carefully. "And… have you been tempted to… believe her?"

"No," Raz said forcefully. Sasha's grip on his shoulder relaxed slightly. "I mean, I told her I wouldn't do it. But I don't know how to beat her and… I guess I'm just scared." He looked up at Agent Nein pleadingly. "Sasha, what if she's right?"

Sasha considered his words carefully as he took a drag from the cigarette. He exhaled slowly, and then answered. "Just because a figure cannot be completely removed from the mind does not mean it cannot be subdued and contained. If the dragon truly cannot be slain, we can still defeat her through other means."

"'We'?" Raz said hesitantly.

"You do not have to do this alone, Razputin. Nor would any of us expect you to. Very few people are able to overcome their inner demons without outside help. That is, of course, why the Psychonauts exist, after all."

"Oh." Raz went from feeling weak for not being able to defeat Melancholia on his own to feeling stupid for not asking for help.

"Whenever you are ready, I am perfectly willing to assist you in whatever way I can. Or, if you would prefer, I'm certain Agent Vodello would be happy to help. She has experience containing mental threats."

Slowly, a smile emerged on Raz's face. "Thanks, Agent Nein."

"Of course." Sasha stood up. "For now, you should rest and gather your strength. Try not to worry about this too much."