From the first mention of early retirement and traveling together, Teresa had loved the idea of retracing their steps from their first two weeks as a couple. When she had shared her thoughts with Jane, after mulling the options in her sleep the night before, she had said they could start anywhere he liked.
Jane had said there was only one possible starting point. "To accurately recapture things, Lisbon, we should start at the absolute beginning. There would be nothing else, if you hadn't caught me at the beach that night."
Smiling wide at his words, Teresa nodded her approval.
The next day, the Airstream was parked beside a familiar beachside overlook. The CBI partners-turned-life partners were standing hip to hip, each with one arm around the other, pondering the wild beauty of the Pacific; pondering, also, the wild beauty of their love, and of their history together.
"Thanks for hunting me down, Lisbon." Jane murmured, eyes still out to sea, deep in thought.
"Was the best decision of my life, Jane." His wife pulled a little closer.
Patrick turned to face her, resting his hands on the small of her back, as she wrapped her arms around his waist. "You mean the world to me Teresa. In fact, you are my whole world."
She responded with a strong embrace, and he held her with equal strength, as the two reminisced about the moment they first shared their true feelings. A memory that blended dizzily with another beachside memory from their ancient past.
Jane stepped back. "Wait here - I have a surprise for you!" Then started jogging back toward the parking area.
"That's not remotely funny, Patrick." Teresa called out.
"No really! I promise!" Jane yelled back, as he neared the Airstream door.
Lisbon shook her head, and rolled her eyes in amusement, feeling only the slightest hint of remembered anxiety. Their decades together had built enough trust that she wasn't worried in the least, today. She did wonder what her husband was up to though, that he would reference this particular memory.
Within seconds, Jane did, indeed, return - with a casino gift bag in his hand.
"What's this, Jane?" She curled her lips into a suspicious smirk. As she tentatively took the bag.
"Something that that looks lovely with your eyes." He smiled, eyes shimmering with fond remembrance.
Lisbon's eyes grew wide upon hearing that phrase. "Patrick Jane. You didn't!"
"Open it!"
She did. And he had. In the bag, was the emerald necklace and earring set that he had once won, counting cards during a CBI case. True, he had donated the original set to a charity, but recently he'd searched for an exact match to adorn his beloved - hopefully righting one of the remaining wrongs from their early partnership; one she had mostly forgotten about, but that still bothered Jane.
He had worked for the length of their romantic involvement to rewrite as many of her painful memories as he could. And he had, for the most part, cleansed the beach overlook of any remaining pain. Still, this detail; the part where he had gotten her hopes up, in such a way, before he had run off without her, on the night he'd corralled the Red John suspects. This was the final straw that needed fixing, in his mind and heart. Those self-inflicted wounds healed almost immediately, as he took in the sight of his beautiful Lisbon, feasting her eyes on the gems.
"Oh, Jane, it's too much!"
"Nothing can ever be too much for you, Teresa. These gems don't even come close. Besides, seeing you wear them brings me great joy."
"Well, in that case." She winked, before quickly adorning her ears and neck with the emeralds, and leaning into him for a kiss and another long embrace by the sea.
"For the record, Jane, I would've said yes." She whispered in his ear.
"Huh?"
"I once told you that it seemed almost like a proposal might be coming, when you said you had a surprise for me and ran to the car all those years ago."
Yes. He was aware. He fought the guilt-laden lump he felt forming in his throat, at her mention of it. "I remember, Lisbon, I'm still so sorry for that."
She put a finger to his lips. Guilt was not at all what she was looking for. The past was the past.
"Shh… that's not what I mean, sweet Patrick. What I mean is, that if you had proposed that day, despite how unexpected that would have been, and despite the dangers all around us," then she added under her breath, "and despite the times you drove me crazy,"
Jane recovered with a quick snicker. He had driven her crazy quite frequently back then.
"Despite all of that, I would have said yes. Even then... Even then, you held my heart in yours, Patrick. It's always been you, love."
Jane looked down with overwhelm, caught a bit off guard. He had given her no reason at all to even be nice to him back in those days. Sure, he had already adored her - had already fallen quite hard, actually; but hadn't let on in the least, feeling pressed to actually mistreat her, in order to keep her safe from that murderous maniac.
"I don't deserve you, Teresa. Not in the least." He grinned fully, as he tenderly held her against him.
"Yeah, I know." Lisbon glinted, clearly enjoying the role reversal as she stepped into a lighthearted tease, countering her husband's deep sincerity.
Jane burst into laughter, and held her even more tightly, in reaction.
"So, Agent Lisbon, wanna go check out the old workplace?"
"Absolutely! Wonder if they've knocked it down, yet?" she half-joked. It had been ages since they'd been there, though - and even longer since it had ceased to actually be the CBI...
After walking around the block a few times, remembering old stories of their time in Sacramento, and of the law enforcement family they had met inside the dilapidated building in front of them, Jane got a typically ornery look on his face.
"So… Should we sneak in?"
She snorted, and poked him playfully. "No. I don't want to risk it. The building is still standing, but that doesn't mean the floors are stable. And there could be vagrants inside."
"Excellent excuse to tackle someone though, Lisbon?"
She burst into laughter and swatted his arm. "Very funny! But absolutely not, Jane. Besides, I want to remember the place how it was… and how it was when you proposed to me… I can't stomach seeing the old place if it's a sad mess inside, you know?"
"I guess you're right, my dear. The most important part of this place, for me, is the beauty standing beside me, anyway. So, we can skip the breaking and entering, love." He glimmered with mischief, but also with deep admiration for the gorgeous woman at his side.
"That's a relief!" She glinted, planting a quick kiss on his cheek.
"So now where?" She asked, with a thoughtful glance. It was clear something important was on her husband's mind. Over the years, he had become nearly as translucent to her as he'd always claimed she was to him.
Jane wasn't sure how to approach what was on his heart. What he wanted to suggest may seem odd to her, after all this time, he thought. Nonetheless he was really being pulled strongly in a specific direction, so had to at least ask her. He prepared himself with a deep breath.
"Lisbon… Can we—"
"Yes."
His eyebrows lowered. "You don't even know what I was going to say."
"Yes, I do." she crowed, with a sly grin and a look of pride.
Wholly amused, her husband challenged, in fun: "Okay, then. Out with it! What is it that you think you believe that I was about to say?"
"Yes. We can stop to visit Angela and Charlotte." she raised her eyebrows, awaiting his approval.
Dumbfounded, Patrick took a second to answer, his jaw open with surprise and fascination. "You really have gotten frighteningly good at that, my dear!"
She beamed at having amazed him. "I had a good teacher! Besides, I know you, Jane."
"It's good to be known." He murmured, stepping closer, combing his fingers through her gorgeously thick locks, cradling the back of her neck. Gently, he coaxed her lips to his, lingering for moments on end.
Jane parked the Airstream in the chapel parking lot. "Think you'll see any rabbits here, today?" he grinned, remembering how she had claimed a bunny had led her to Angela's resting place, when she had so desperately searched for him all those decades ago.
"Think you'll hallucinate any?" she teased, happy to see him in a light mood, considering their surroundings.
As they started down the aisles of cold grey stone markers, their steps were quiet. Lisbon eyed her husband with careful concern, ready to support him… ready to tend to any wounds that may resurface during their visit to this place that had always been a reminder of his failures, his pain, and his loss.
Sensing his wife's vigilance, Patrick broke the silence.
"I'm not sad Lisbon. I'm not. It honestly feels more like a show and tell or a Christmas morning - when you can't wait to show your favorite presents to your closest friends and family. I can't wait to share a little bit about our amazing life with her… with them both."
Beaming a relieved smile, Teresa reached to hold his hand as they approached the markers for Angela Ruskin and Charlotte Anne Jane.
"You know that I love you with my whole heart, right Teresa?"
"I do, love. And I know you keep a place deep inside that heart for your first love, as well. I understand that - always have. Say whatever you need to say to her, sweet Patrick. I won't be hurt or threatened by it, I promise. And if you're more comfortable without me for some or all of your time here, just say the word and I'll wait in the car or pray at the chapel."
He tried to hold in the sobs that rose in him, hearing his love's typically perfect words. She always knew just what to say… always knew just what he needed to hear.
"You're so amazing, Lisbon. Thank you, my dear. I do love you, so completely."
"And I love you, more than anything, Jane."
Patrick needed a minute to recover, so offered, "Do you want to go first? I mean, you two have a history of conspiring already, as I remember." He glinted, between sniffles.
Smiling wide, Teresa let go a quick laugh, before nodding, and kneeling before the headstones in front of her.
"Angela, thanks again for your help and support, starting with my panicked, first outreach seemingly eons ago. Patrick and I have had the most wonderful life together, and we still adore one another - more now than ever. I have thoroughly enjoyed caring for him, and being cared for by him. But know this: you remain, and will always be loved and missed. You are a familiar face in our home, and to our children as well. Danny said you wouldn't mind, so they know you as Aunt Angela. Charlotte has been known to them as their big sister for their whole lives. And speaking of you, Charlotte - you have a namesake down here now. Your younger sister Meghan is pregnant with a little girl, and she is going to name her Charlotte Jane, after you."
Jane joined her on his knees, putting a hand on her shoulder for support. He spoke loving words first to Charlotte Anne, telling her all about his adventures in the latter part of his life, and letting her know the part she played in her little sister Meghan's wedding. "Also, I hope you have enjoyed the annual birthday parties at our old house, love. Every year we celebrate you fully, my dear Charlotte Anne."
After taking another moment to gather himself, he addressed his dear, departed, first love.
"Thank you so much for leading Teresa to me that day, Angie. I was so lost... had been so lost, for years really... ever since I lost you and Char. And when she found me, it changed everything." He paused, struggling with some thought.
"You know me, Ang. You know that I've never believed in an afterlife or a god. But I'd be lying if I said that it didn't feel like you were somehow behind this second chapter I've been privileged to live. It would be just like you to care for me from beyond, by sending an angel to love and protect me here on earth."
Beside him, Lisbon silently held back tears at being called an angel - and at hearing her beautiful husband harbor any hint of curiosity about the possibility of a heavenly existence.
"And the children I've had the privilege of fathering and raising here are so amazing, Angie. You would be so proud of them." His throat caught for a moment, and his voice trembled slightly. "You would be so proud, I think... of me." He sniffled.
Teresa gathered him into a tender, supportive embrace as he crumbled with grateful overwhelm. His miraculous second chance with her had encouraged him to lean into his true self - developing into the very man that Angela Ruskin had so wanted him to allow himself to become, in his most distant past. There was something especially healing in his realization of that fact; healing for him, and beautifully overwhelming for Lisbon.
Who would have thought, on the day he'd stumbled into the CBI, broken and bereft at having failed his wife and child in the worst possible way, that in doing so he had connected with the very woman - a true angel, in so many ways - who would bring him to such complete healing; who would inexplicably foster his own personal growth in such a way that he would finally become all of the things that Angela had believed he was capable of being. It was clear, now, that he was finally the man he was always meant to be; the man who had been loved and encouraged by Angela Ruskin, and the same man who had been later loved, encouraged, protected and healed by the irreplaceable Teresa Lisbon. As all of these thoughts and realizations swirled in her mind, Teresa's deep love and affection for her amazing husband was joined by a sense of wonder, thanks, and gratitude:
Thank you, God, for allowing me to have a part in this. His healing and lightness continue to fill my heart. Infinite thanks for him, and for our life together. Continued blessings on our family, and also on our extended family in Angela and Charlotte, who are with you, Father. May we someday all be together... Every last one of us...
As the two meandered their way back to the chapel parking lot, hand-in-hand, they shared a sense of connection; not just to each other, but to Angela, to Charlotte, and to something greater. Jane couldn't put his finger on it, but maybe it was love? Maybe it was their combined histories? The last time he had been at such a loss for understanding, he realized, it had also involved his connection to Teresa and Angela - and their connection to each other. He had never made sense of the way Angela had promised him, in his unconscious state while recovering from Pike's gunshots, that she would calm Lisbon's fears for his injuries; and then she had done exactly that, by showing up in one of Teresa's waiting-room-exhausted dreams. The amazed wonder, and inability to make sense of that moment felt a lot like how he felt today, upon making this connection between the two women and their separate-yet-seemingly-connected involvement in building him into his best self.
"What's on your mind, love?" Lisbon sensed his heavy thoughts. She had expected that he might remain quiet as they walked back, but he seemed to be wrestling with something especially important.
"Oh, nothing," he covered, "just amazed at the circle of life, I guess." Not a complete lie, he told himself. Still, he wasn't ready, yet, to discuss such mysterious thoughts out loud, so changed the subject. "Speaking of the circle of life - wanna skip off to the carnival, Lisbon? I could really use a ride on a Ferris wheel!" His eyes sparkled and his smile was sunshiny as ever.
Teresa suspected that she hadn't heard the true depth of her husband's thoughts, but figured that when he was ready, they would continue that conversation. "A Ferris wheel sounds lovely! Maybe an ice cream sundae, too? Or a round at the ring toss?" She wiggled her eyebrows, procuring mollified laughter from Jane.
"Absolutely, my dear!" He grinned wide before tapping her on the arm - "You're it!" - and racing her to the Silver Bullet.