Coai Week 2023 - Little by Little

By Crystal Snowflakes

Ten years.

It had been ten years, twelve days, and some hours ago since the day she had become someone else.

At the time, it had felt strange—at some points, it felt like she had lost her mind. But over time, she had come to realize that what she was going through had been a blessing in disguise—that despite the change in name, a part of her was still who she was at heart.

She could remember with clarity the moment she realized she didn't want to go back to being her old self, because while she wasn't entirely a different person, she also felt more at home than ever in her new life.

So when the news came that she couldn't go back to her old life anymore, she knew she would miss it, but at the same time, she was relieved.

There were things she regretted, of course. But at the end of the day, she was content with who she'd become, and she couldn't imagine losing the life she'd so carefully built for herself, especially now that she could be certain she could live the rest of her life without looking over her shoulder.

None of her regrets, however, felt as heavy as the one she was staring at. The face of Kudo Shinichi—forever young and captured in the photograph—somehow stood starkly against all the other similar photographs hung on the walls. Maybe it was the way his eyes shone bright, and the way his cocky grin held just the right amount of arrogance and mischief.

Regardless, the grief that threatened to choke her every time she walked past the picture frame was undeniable, and there were times she wondered if any other student who walked past this corridor would feel its weight. Had anyone else ever walked by to read the memorial plaque hanging next to the photo?

The school hallway, despite being brightly lit, felt ominous with the silence, and she couldn't ever recall it ever being so quiet before.

Of all the problems she thought she would've had in senior highschool, walking past this one small, inconspicuous picture among hundreds of them was not one she would have imagined.

Still, she couldn't help but think in recent days that he was finally back at the age when he had been when he shrank. And staring at the picture didn't help; they were essentially carbon copies of each other.

They had finally come full circle.

Suddenly, footsteps—calm and steady and distinctly his—approached, and she turned to look at him out of the corner of her eyes.

"Oi, Haibara," he said once he was within earshot. And then his steps faltered for a fraction of a second when he noticed what she'd been standing in front of.

She stiffened slightly when she saw his reaction, and she watched the way his gaze flittered briefly towards the picture frame before returning to hers.

"I—" she started before she stopped herself; she wasn't even sure what she wanted to say in the first place.

Perhaps she could've apologized, but he knew she was sorry; she'd already apologized. It was nothing they hadn't talked about in the years they'd spent together, and whatever words needed to be said had already been said.

"I know." The compassion and understanding in his voice was always so genuine, and she hated how it made her chest tighten. A bone weary sigh escaped his lips as he turned back to stare at the picture, and in an almost subconscious movement, he pulled his hand out of his pocket to reach for hers.

It had been a new habit of his, to reach for her hand. She didn't know why it started, and she didn't know what it meant, but she also wasn't ready to ask. Her heart jumped to her throat as he threaded their fingers together, but she didn't feel the need to pull away—nor did she want to.

Silence descended upon them, but it was the same companionable kind of silence that they shared whenever they found themselves alone. It was familiar, comforting, almost therapeutic.

As the seconds passed, she found herself leaning slightly into him. He looked down at her then, a small smile quirking his lips as his hand squeezed hers.

"Wanna go grab a coffee?" he asked, his thumb tracing circles on the back of her hand.

It was hard to ignore the butterflies in her stomach as her body thrummed, her nerves tingling to the tips of her fingers just from his simple touch. She had to force her brain into working overdrive to think of a response.

"Are you paying?" She hoped he couldn't hear past her casual tone.

His chuckle bounced through the hallway, and he shook his head in amusement. "Tch," he muttered, rolling his eyes before pulling her closer to him. "You're still so stingy after all these years."

"And you're still a corpse magnet after all these years," she said with a lighthearted snort, letting him pull her towards the exit. "So we're even."

"Oi, oi…"

Author's Notes: And we're done! Thank you for the support. I appreciate all the kudos, bookmarks, and kind comments I've received.

Just wanted to update everyone who follows my other fics that "Of Succulents and Strings of Fate" is basically done, but I'm editing and tweaking the ending to the last chapter. No promises on when it'll be done though. I've been neglecting the other fandom I've been writing for, and I'll be focusing on that fandom for the next little while now that I've finally completed CoAi week :)

Completed: September 25, 2023