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INVADER ZIM: STRENGTH OF THE TALLEST
Anomalies
It was widely believed that this had become an impossibility. Twins had not been documented in databanks for centuries! Such instances had been selectively weaned out over time. Emotional attachment meant weakness, and Irkens were not supposed to be weak. A mistake had been made in the smeeting process. It must have been. Now instead of a single, perfect Irken smeet, the birthing pod spilled out two whose perfection was divided.
They flopped and wriggled around on the floor, wrapping around each other. The red-eyed one almost seemed to be enveloping and protecting his weaker, purple-eyed brother. It was an anomaly. The Control Brains could not process it. Commands started firing wildly.
Male Brain 1: Dispose of the weakened foetus.
Female Brain: Exterminate both tainted spawn.
Male Brain 2: Prepare them for duty.
The signals bounced back and forth almost frying the brains before at last the one in charge of the pods - the brain to whom the cold unfeeling robot arm belonged - made a final decision.
Male Brain 2: Prepare the smeets for duty.
Female Brain: They will be each other's weakness. They cannot continue.
Male Brain 2: I propose an experiment.
Male Brain 1: Outline to us your experiment.
Male Brain 2: They are one another's weakness, but they may be one another's strength as well. I hypothesize that possessing something you deeply desire to protect can make one powerful more than it can weaken them.
Male Brain 1: An interesting proposal. Monitor them as they grow. Judge if they are weak or strong together. Perhaps one day they will prove themselves not a flaw, but instead the next step in our evolution.
And so they allowed the continued existence of the twins, and the two smeets were readied. Thus Red and Purple were born…
Present
"I'm hungry," Purple whined to Red as they sat watching an Irken play.
"Waiter, we're waiting!" Red sharply barked at a service drone. Quickly the alarmed Irken hurried over, looking nervous. "What was so hard about that, that you couldn't do it?" Red bit at his twin. Purple childishly stuck out his tongue before grabbing a bunch of snacks and shoving them into his mouth. Red followed suite with an annoyed sigh, taking a handful of chips and stuffing them into his own mouth. Purple contentedly munched away as Red ate at a slower pace, observing the scenes on the stage. The play was about the life and times of Tallest Miyuki and Tallest Spork.
"Hey Red?" Purple asked when the part where Miyuki was devoured came up. Red glanced over at him in vague annoyance, but Purple understood it was also an 'I'm listening' sort of look. If Red could bother to be annoyed, he could bother to be listening. "You think we're gonna share their fate too? Like, killed by Zim and everything?"
"Not if we can keep ahead of the game," Red replied. "We were the smart ones. We sent him as far away as possible."
"And he still managed to drive us through a star," Purple pointed out. "If not for the improvements we made to the Massive, we would have been burned alive!"
Red grimaced. His brother had a point. He went back to frowning. "Don't worry about it. Everything will be fine. If worse comes to worse, I'll fix it like I always have. Apparently you're too dumb to do it yourself."
Purple pouted and harrumphed, going sulkily back to the cookies he'd started on. "Hmm, something's different about these. They taste funny. I don't like them."
"Then stop eating them," Red replied, rolling his eyes at his twin's complaint.
"Where's the chef? I think we should imprison him," Purple sulked, crossing his arms.
"Then who'll make our donuts?" Red replied with a smirk.
"Hey yeah, that's a good point. I'm still filing a complaint about these cookies though. They tasted… tasted…" Purple stopped talking suddenly.
Red glanced curiously over. His brother was wavering a bit. "They tasted…?" he prompted with a frown.
"They-they tasted… Hoo boy, is it hot in here or is it just me?" Purple asked, pulling at his collar in discomfort.
Red sat up a little straighter, frown deepening and fingers gripping the arms of the throne tightly as he stared intently at his brother. "What's going on with you?" he demanded.
"It's just-jus' really, really hot… I don't-I don't feel well," Purple replied, but his voice was noticeably strained this time. Scared. He knew something was wrong too.
Red shot to his feet, staring at Purple in disbelief. "Guards! Guards, fetch the medical staff immediately!" he barked, snapping his head to the guards. Unnerved by the ferocity in Tallest Red's voice, they quickly scrambled to obey. Red snapped his head back to Purple again. "Purple? Pur, hey, look at me," he commanded sharply, gripping his frightened twin's shoulders. Purple's eyes were darting nervously around, but at the command, he locked his eyes with Red and held them almost desperately. Damn the fear he saw in Purple's eyes! "You're alright, alright? You gonna be just fine," Red said, keeping his tone calm. At the moment, though, he felt anything but calm.
Purple whimpered. "Red? Red, am I gonna…?" he began nervously.
"No! No thinking like that. It's not gonna happen, okay? It's not gonna happen," Red said, cutting him off from saying the cursed word. "You're gonna be just fine."
"I can't… You look blurry. You sound funny," Purple said, starting to waver even more.
"Pur? Purple, stay with me!" Red said sharply.
"Everything seems… seems so far away…" Purple dazedly said. All at once his head fell back as he lost consciousness! Had Red not been holding him by the shoulders, he would have fallen off the chair and onto the ground.
"Purple!" Red exclaimed. Purple began to seize and jerk around in his brother's grip. "No! No, no, no! I need the doctors here now! Where the Irk is medical?! Help! Hurry! Someone has poisoned Tallest Purple!"
There it was, the last admittance he'd ever wanted to make. Someone had poisoned his twin. Someone had tried to poison them, but Purple had eaten the cookies. Only Purple! He'd shoveled them in and now this was happening and-and… His brother had been poisoned! His brother was dying, and he couldn't stop it! "Purple, listen to my voice. Hold onto my voice. Follow it! Don't let it go!" he frantically pled, barely aware himself how desperate his tone had become. When Purple stopped convulsing and went totally limp in his hands, Red almost died on the spot…
IZ
Red paced restlessly outside of Purple's med room looking more nervous than he'd probably ever looked in his life. He cursed under his breath. Then he cursed again and a third time before shouting said curse angrily and slamming his fists down on a surface, scowling murderously. Purple had died. Purple had died in his hands, and when medical came it had taken everything they had to bring his brother back! It had taken even more to stabilize him enough to move him. Red felt a stress headache building behind his eyes. His whole body shook with fear and anger and anxiety. He drew in a shaking breath, massaging his temples and closing his eyes in a desperate attempt to recollect himself.
He'd almost had the chef put to death then and there, but the Irken had sworn up and down it hadn't been him, and Red believed him. Purple would have done it anyway, he noted to himself with a wry smirk. Red, though, wasn't so impulsive. The Resisty had been spotted lurking around lately, recruiting wherever they could, and a new sous chef had disappeared into thin air in the wake of this incident. It didn't take a genius to put two and two together. He'd been dangerously close to executing the chef anyway just out of rage, but then he'd heard his brother pitifully cry out his name as they brought him back while loading him into the transporter, and the chef had been totally forgotten as he'd rushed to be at his twin's side in a nervous tizzy.
"My Tallest?" a nervous doctor said from behind. Red scowled slowly, fingers curling tightly into the desk. Woe to anyone who crossed him in his rage right now. If the doctor was smart, he would pick his words very, very carefully. The doctor shifted uncomfortably then decided the silence meant he was permitted to continue. "It was… touch and go for a while there, but Almighty Tallest Purple has seemed to have stabilized now. He is… very fortunate that he has such a, err, c-cast iron stomach? Otherwise h-he might not have… made it?"
Red was silent. "Will he make it?" he finally, coldly, asked.
"I… believe he will. Some say that it's too early to tell but not me, My Tallest! I believe in him," the doctor said, schmoozing to the best of his ability.
"Good. Now let me see him. Or is he too unstable for that?" Red asked.
The doctor seemed to deflate a bit. "He's… i-in a-a coma?" the doctor sheepishly replied. "B-but it probably won't be a long coma! Just-just long enough for his body to heal!"
Red stared. The doctor stared back looking scared. Red continued to stare with narrowed eyes. The doctor shifted uncomfortably, probably almost wetting himself from fear. "He's in a what?" Red icily asked. The doctor shifted even more. "Let. Me. In," Red dangerously said. The doctor quickly stepped aside. Red floated passed then stopped at the door, looking back. "What did the poison do?" Red asked.
"Um, b-burned his squeedlysplooch in the neck and abdomen. It, err, a-almost ate a hole through it," the doctor replied. Silence and another brief glare-off. "He foamed at the mouth. Like a lot. When you weren't there… We had to bring him back a second time too. His convulsions were pretty bad so it was hard, but it's okay now! He's stable, like I said!" Red glared. This doctor was very, very lucky his priority was getting in to check on his brother's status instead of lashing out. He turned without a word and went into the room to see his twin.
IZ
The medical staff inside the room looked quickly over when Red entered and seemed to briefly panic, quickly splitting and hugging the walls to let the Tallest through. Red floated towards Purple, eyes fixed on him, then came alongside, looking down at his brother and summing him up silently. Purple was unconscious and looked like he was still scared and in pain, and he absolutely hated that little fact. Red stared. "Purple. Hey Purple, can you hear me?" he said sharply in annoyance. No response. Red was quiet. He blinked slowly, letting his mind wrap around what was happening. "Pur, come on. Get your lazy backside up and get back to work! I'm not doing this solo."
"Actually, My Tallest, you are," a doctor said. The next minute he was screaming as he was thrown out a window.
Red glared after the offending doctor, absolutely fuming. "Get him back here alive. I want all eyes on my brother until he wakes up," he said, turning to the other flabbergasted doctors. Immediately they scrambled to save the one who'd been thrown out the window before he hit the ground or something else. Red, left alone, turned back to Purple and went to his bedside again, choosing to hover there at his side. After a while he sat and made himself comfortable, still watching and trying to let this all sink in. And trying to figure out how he was going to react. Of course, he had an idea how he would already, but right now his mind was elsewhere, too preoccupied to think to act. He let out a shaking sigh, bowing his head and letting vulnerability show in his eyes. "Get up…" he pled again meekly. Not even the slightest response. Red drew a quivering breath and reached out, taking his co-ruler's hand gently and squeezing it reassuringly. Maybe if Purple couldn't hear his voice, he'd feel his touch…
He heard a doctor nervously step in. "Get the guards," Red darkly said. "Bring them here. Now!" She yelped and scrambled out to find them and send them in. It took the bodyguards only seconds to appear. Purple would have probably had them all executed or imprisoned for this failure. Red was more inclined towards imprisonment, but then having to hire new bodyguards and train them would just make retribution that much slower. With luck, they'd all be killed off fulfilling his order. Red darkly turned to them. "You let this happen. Now you're going to fix it. Round up every suspected resistance member. Chase the damn Resisty across the galaxy if you need to, just bring them here to face me!" he all but roared. "Better yet, when you find them, any suspected member of them even, come and get me. I'll deal with them personally. They'll rue the day they tried to take my brother from me. Go!" Immediately the guards scrambled, all but tripping over themselves to get out of there before the Tallest changed his mind and had them all arrested. Red turned to Purple again. He blinked then reached out his hand, resting it on his twin's forehead. "They'll rue the day they tried to take you from me…" he quietly, darkly, murmured to his comatose brother.
IZ
Female Brain: He wraps around his sibling. Just as he did when they were newly born.
Male Brain 1: We should have disposed of the weak one from the start. Now he has made the strong one weak as well.
Male Brain 2: No. Give it time and see what Tallest Red will become in retribution for the poisoning of his brother. Then we will better draw conclusions on whether this has weakened him or awakened him…
It was a few hours before any news came. Purple probably would have thrown a fit and doled out punishment. Red wasn't so prone to fits, and in fact was low-key glad it had taken a while. It gave him time to collect his thoughts, which were running wild. He lay at his sibling's side, wrapped protectively around him and holding him close. He probably looked pretty pathetic, but he was beyond caring about anything other than his ailing twin. He lifted his head to check on his brother's status. Still dead to the world. He immediately regretted that turn of phrase and cursed himself for thinking it. The door opened. He looked over. The guards were back. They were smart enough not to react to his position or even acknowledge it. "My Tallest, we may have found where the Resisty is hiding," the guard said. "We thought perhaps you would want to be present when we march on it."
"Oh, I do," Red darkly said, utilizing his robotic mantis legs to get up. In that dim and flickering light that accentuated blazing ruby eyes, in that atmosphere dark and angry, the display looked and felt more menacing than anything the guards had ever seen before in their lives. They involuntarily shuddered. An Irkenette doctor entered the room. Red looked back at his brother and addressed her. "If he wakes up and asks for me, tell him big brother's gone to deal with some business. Business ideally involving rolling heads."
"My Tallest, after what he's been through, won't it be better if he wakes to find his brother at his side?" the Irkenette doctor timidly asked.
Red hesitated at this, wincing, then frowned and looked at her, eyes narrowed a bit. "It'll be better if he wakes up to find he doesn't have to be scared of assassination anymore," Red said.
The doctor looked poised to pose another argument, then thought the better of it. "As you wish, my Tallest. Though I think the thing that will make him feel the safest and most secure is finding you at his side; not learning his would-be assassins are dead."
"You're not paid to think! Don't argue me with logic. My brain can't take any more thinking right now," Red bit.
"I'm not paid at all, my Tallest," she replied. The next moment she was sent flying out the window screaming. Red glared after her in annoyance. "Get her back here alive to watch over my brother."
"Yes sir!" the guards said. A few of them left to fulfill the order.
Red turned to the rest of them. "Let's go," he said. They saluted and began to lead the way.
IZ
The doors of the Resisty safehouse were pretty well blown open. Those inside screamed, scrambling as the scowling bodyguards marched in and opened fire. Behind them entered Red, metallic limbs clacking menacingly on the ground, mouth curled in a murderous scowl. He looked darkly around at scrambling and injured Resisty members. He pounced immediately at two, one hurt and the other trying to help. He finished off the injured one with a deft impalement. The victim's friend followed him to death right after. Red shot towards a group, scattering them and lashing out at whoever he could, and he was very, very efficient at what he was doing. He wounded for the sake of wounding and didn't care whether he'd killed the ones he'd attacked or not, as long as they were out of the way and ripe for the taking. He pounced at another Resisty member who was trying to crawl away.
"Where's Lard Nar?!" he furiously demanded of the terrified victim. These weren't Lard Narr's personal group, but Lard Nar led the Resisty as a whole, so doubtless this faction of it knew something about him. If Lard Nar wasn't here, these Resisty members would still probably have a suspicion as to where he would be.
"Right here, Tallest Red! Eat my laser!" Lard Nar called out from above.
Red looked sharply up and barely managed to dodge in time to avoid a direct hit. The one he'd pinned made a break for it, resulting in a clean getaway, but Red didn't care. He had Lard Nar in his sights now. He scowled up at the leader of the Resisty murderously. "Come on and fight me, Lard Nar! Come on and fight me!"
"Oh boo hoo, Tallest Red is disappointed his boyfriend's out of the picture," Lard Nar taunted.
Red's eye twitched a bit. "Boyfriend?!" he finally freaked. "Oh no. No, no, no. This is a lot more personal than some mere boyfriend. Now you're going to give me the freak who tried to poison my brother, or you're going to be torn apart!" Red roared at him, lunging and climbing the walls with his spidery legs, instantly going on the offensive and stabbing and slashing at every given opportunity. "He tried to kill my twin! Give him to me! Give him to me! Give him to me!" he screamed in growing rage. So much, in fact, that Lard Nar suddenly seemed a lot more concerned and afraid, frantically dodging all the attacks and trying to put distance between himself and the incensed Irken ruler.
"Purple was your twin brother?!" Lard Nar exclaimed in horror.
Red had to pause a moment and blink blankly, processing this question. "Are you serious? We look exactly alike! How did you figure anything else?!" he demanded, mildly put out.
"How was I supposed to know?! I didn't even realize Irkens had siblings!" Lard Nar frantically defended. Maybe if Red had been focused more on his opponent's words than he was on destroying him, he would have realized how anomalous it really was too. He'd never given the fact he had a twin brother a second thought. Ever. Or even realized just how out of place the two of them actually had been. Purple was his bro. That was just all there was to it and there was nothing weird about the matter.
"Well I have one!" Red replied furiously.
"Maybe whoever poisoned Purple thought you'd be happy to lead solo!" Lard Nar continued, trying to spare himself some of Red's blind rage.
"Bad news for them. I'm not!" Red shouted, stabbing at him with both robotic arms. "Tell me who it was or I raze this dump to the ground!"
"I'll never tell! And I don't know, so even if I wanted to tell you, eh. Here we are," Lard Nar said, shrugging. He gasped and barely defended himself in time to stop impalement. "I swear I don't know if it was even us! We want to overthrow and imprison you, not kill you! Though hey, no tears here if you end up dead in the process. But planned assassination?! That's not our style, man!"
Lard Nar yelped as he was suddenly pinned against a wall by robotic mantis limbs. He felt like he was in a cage. Terror seized him as Red menacingly closed the distance, all but snarling. "Then you'd best figure out who your new rival or your defective is, or next time I might not let you leave in one piece. Next time you might not even leave alive. You certainly aren't leaving unmarked this time." He slashed Lard Nar's face, making the Vortian cry out in pain. "You're on a time limit, Resisty. Figure out your rebel slash rival, or be wiped out. You have no in-between. You're allowed to live because you're my best shot at finding the would-be assassin. That's the only reason." With that, Red let Lard Nar go. Lard Nar gasped as he fell, then cried out as Red beaned him in the head, knocking him out…
When Lard Nar awoke, the safehouse was in darkness and ruin. He winced, sitting slowly up, and looked around. A look of melancholy crossed his face as he noticed all the dead, both Resisty and bodyguards. And it looked like Tallest Red had inflicted most of the damage, which was more than a little unsettling. Here he'd thought the rulers would be incompetent in every facet. Seemed he was wrong. He heard his men calling for him, searching, and rose with a sigh. He had some detecting to do. Someone had thrown them under a rock, and he needed to know if it was on purpose or inadvertent. It was that or kiss the Resisty goodbye.
IZ
Red had seen to it that every investigative eye was trying to determine the identity of the would-be assassin. Including his. He'd requested the names of every Irken who'd been anywhere near the food. He needed to figure out who the sous chef had been, find him or her, then get really, really ugly. Until that information came, though, or any tips regarding said sous-chef's whereabouts, he couldn't do a thing. So, he'd returned to his brother's room.
He hovered worriedly over his sibling's bed, eyes filled with concern and uncertainty. Pur hadn't woken up, not even for a moment. He let out a shaky breath and sat on the bedside, staring down at the floor and twiddling his fingers nervously. If Purple didn't make it… He grimaced. He didn't even want to consider that. If he lost his brother, what was he supposed to do…? He looked at Purple again and blinked. After a moment he reached out, taking his twin's hand and squeezing it. There was a faint squeeze in response and he almost dared to hope, but after a few minutes of nothing, his hope drained. He crept next to Purple, holding him close again and enveloping him in his arms. He was kind of sucking at doing his job right now, but there were more important things on his mind. He closed his eyes and chose to try and sleep despite not necessarily needing it right now, but when you were asleep, nothing hurt anymore… He sighed, willing that sleep to come.
When suddenly he felt movement, he caught his breath, eyes flying open again. He raised himself up and looked hopefully down at his twin. "Purple?" he asked, hating how frantic he sounded. More restless movement, but no awakening. "Purple," he insisted. Stillness. Red shifted, then frowned. Scowling he barked, "Dammit, Pur, get up!" Purple's grip on his robes tightened a bit, and his twin's face scrunched a little like he was trying to listen but couldn't quite make it. "Purple get up! Get up Pur!" Red insisted, pulling his brother up and leaning him against his chest in mounting despair. "Please!" he pled, clutching Purple tight.
"R-Red, lemme sleep," he heard Purple mumble with a whimper. It was barely audible, but it was there. It was there!
"No! No more sleeping! You've slept long enough," Red quickly insisted, trying to grab onto his brother's conscious state and keep it going. "You have to wake up now. You have to! Pur, come on, I don't wanna do this without you!" Silence. "Pur?" he asked, sounding stressed.
"I'm glad I ate those cookies instead of you… You don't want to do this without me, but I can't do this without you," Purple said coherently. Coherent. He was coherent! "I have a stronger squeedlysplooch than you. More resistant too. You might not have lived," Pur added.
"Oh thank the brains!" Red exclaimed, clutching his brother tight. "Thank you, thank you, thank you," he said over and over while rocking his twin. "We're so getting food testers after this!"
"Well I mean, I'm pretty good at it," Purple said a bit indignantly.
"No! You are not putting me through this hell again!" Red shot, pushing his sibling back to examine him. Purple still looked dazed and cloudy-eyed and weak. Tired too.
"Can I sleep again? Please?" his brother pled weakly. "It helps."
"As long as you wake up," Red replied. Purple offered a weak smile and nodded in understanding before sagging against his brother again and clutching his robes. Once settled, he closed his eyes to sleep. Red held him near with no intention of letting him go until he woke up again…
Some Time Later
Purple sat in bed picking at some food. Eating a lot was a bad idea for a while, so he was confined to small meals and bed rest. Red didn't even let him get up most of the time. Now that he was awake though, Red's time was being spent hunting down the perpetrator of the crime. He didn't see his twin much anymore, but when Red came, Red stayed a long time. However, Purple was worried. There'd been one assassination attempt already. What if another happened? That made him nervous, and he'd love to get up and check on his brother, but if he tried an alarm went off and then he was in for a lecture from Red. A big one. He thought Red was being overly protective and paranoid, personally. He wasn't incapable of moving. It was poison, not a weapon. There wasn't a wound that would re-open if he moved too much, and most of the poison was probably already out of his system!
The door opened and Red came in. "How are you feeling?" he asked.
"I wanna get up. I don't like being stuck in bed," Purple complained, crossing his arms.
"Yeah, I don't think so," Red replied.
"It wasn't like I was shot or stabbed! I can move around, you know," Purple sulked. "Besides, isn't today a treaty brokerage with Parlimentria? You hate those and you're not very good at them anyway, so you need me! All I'll be doing is sitting and talking. I can't lay here anymore! I'm going stir-crazy! Please, Red, please!" he begged, dramatically grabbing his twin's robes and shaking him
"Okay, fine! But if something goes wrong, I warned you," Red testily replied.
"Thank you," Purple said in a self-satisfied tone, letting his twin go and looking quite proud of himself. Red rolled his eyes hopelessly.
IZ
Purple floated alongside Red through the corridors, happy to be up and moving again. He wanted to press about the assassination attempt, but he was treading lightly as was, so he kept quiet and didn't ask.
"So, what do we know about Parlimentria?" Red asked.
"You were going to broker a treaty with a planet you knew nothing about?" Purple asked.
"N-no!" Red said.
"So you're testing my knowledge?" Purple dubiously asked, raising an eyebrow.
"That's for me to know!" Red defended.
Purple knew what that meant. It meant it was either a bit of both, or the former and his twin was clueless. "Well, they're pretty sharp-tongued and snobby. They look down on pretty well everyone. They like getting under your skin either as a test or just to see how far they can push, so if you start getting riled up remember that it's a trick. Getting into a war with them is bad. They're tough targets. That's why we're aiming for a treaty instead of conquest. Because it would be dicey. Kind of like with Meekrob. At least these guys are willing to broker peace."
"So how do we present to them? Carry ourselves as high and mighty? Which we are," Red said.
"Follow my lead with that. It'll probably depend," Purple replied. "We're trying to present as equals, right?"
"Even though we're clearly superior," Red confirmed.
"Exactly! So unless they try asserting dominance, it's probably best we keep a low profile and don't, you know, lord it over them or anything," Purple said.
"Boring, but fine. If we have to," Red said with a sigh. "You're sure you're up for this?" he added, tone annoyed. Red wasn't fooling his twin though. Purple could pick out the faint notes of concern and stress buried under the façade.
"I'm gonna be fine!" Purple said, throwing up his hands. "I mean it's not like I'm risking reopening a wound or anything."
"Don't jinx it," Red flatly replied.
They entered the conference room and stood together on the receiving balcony to meet their 'guests'. A loud fanfare sounded out and a large ship came in for a landing, elaborate and huge and obviously trying to outdo the Massive. It fell short, to the satisfaction of the Tallest, but it was vaguely irking that they would even try to upstage them on their own home turf. Red could already tell this was going to be a headache. He glanced over at his twin. "You were right. Letting you come was a good idea," he muttered. Purple perked up a little. "Don't let it get to your head," Red warned. "It just... I feel right with you here. More in control."
"Aww Red," Purple squeed, going for a hug.
"No," Red flatly said. Purple frowned then folded his arms, sulking. "Look, the reality is you have a flair for political games. As much as I hate to admit it."
"Hey yeah, I do," Purple said like he just realized it himself. Which he probably had. The door opened to their 'guests', who marched in proudly and paused on seeing the two Irken rulers standing together looking unimpressed. Purple and Red exchanged looks then went to greet them. "Greetings Parlimentrians. Welcome to Irk," Purple said cheerily and welcomingly.
"Take a seat and we'll get started right away. I'm sure we all have things we need to take care of," Red added, gesturing to the large table inside the conference room just off the receiving balcony. For him, the thing that needed to be taken care of was discovering his brother's would-be assassin. Everyone sat and the deliberation began. From the get-go it was bad.
IZ
"Before agreeing to any terms, or even hearing them, there is a question we want answered," one of the Parlimentrians said.
"Shoot," Purple replied.
"News has spread of the attempted assassination of one of Irk's rulers. Of you, Tallest Purple. Some rumors say it was successful, though clearly those are misguided," the Parlimentrian ruler said.
Both Irkens were quiet, exchanging looks. They frowned and turned sternly back to their guests, Red with a flare of anger behind his eyes and Purple with a flare of annoyance. "How about you shove it up your…?" Red began.
"Anywho!" Purple cut off quickly. "As you can clearly see, I'm right here and just fine, so obviously it failed spectacularly." Silence as everybody stared at everybody. "We're just that superior," Purple lamely added. Silence. "You know. Because I survived poison… Deadly stuff… Meant to kill two… S-see? Superior."
Long, drawn-out silence, then they turned to Red… "You expect us to ally with a planet whose leaders can't even protect themselves? Never mind each other! Never mind an entire empire!"
Red went at them. Purple gasped, seizing his twin and yanking him back. "You'll show some respect you pompous guttersnatches!" Red freaked. "You don't come in here and rub my brother's near-death experience in my face like that! Like I couldn't protect him!"
"You couldn't!" the leader of Parlimentria shot. Red would probably have started shooting and stabbing if he'd had any weapons on him. While he could start stabbing with the robotic mantis limbs, his brother was keeping those at bay pretty well.
"Well obviously he did because I'm right here!" Purple blurted out, trying to divert attention. All narrowed eyes went to him, and he immediately regretted speaking.
"Oh really? What happens if there's another attempt? Will he be able to protect you from that, hmm? And perhaps most pressing is how do you think you're going to protect him should he end up on the receiving end of an assassination attempt instead of you? It's no secret that Almighty Tallest Red has superior skill, yet even despite his skill you still ended up at death's door," the ruler of Parlimentria said to Purple.
Purple stiffened a bit and shifted uncomfortably. Red had stopped struggling, so obviously the question had been shocking enough to have a freezing effect on him, but now Purple was frozen too. Truth be told, he'd never even considered the possibility that Red might end up on the receiving end of an assassination attempt. The idea was preposterous! No one would be stupid enough to try and take his brother head-on. Red was too good at what he did! He'd been one of the best in training. Purple had been pretty good too, but then had gotten lazy and let it all go. Red had at least semi-kept it up. His brother still knew the moves and rules and everything! There was no way anybody could take out his twin. There was no way!
So why did the remark chill him so bad…?
Red, for his part, was trying to wrap his head around the question too. Like Purple, he'd never entertained the thought he might be the next victim either. Despite the fact they knew this had been an attempt on both of their lives that had just backfired, the concept still seemed ridiculous, but then right up until it had happened to Purple, it had seemed ridiculous to him that anyone would try to hurt him either. Red was the first to recover from that sudden dose of reality. "We came here to broker peace, not start a war. Now start brokering or get out and wait to be conquered," he said.
"If this planet's rulers can't even protect the ones they love most, can't protect each other, what use will they be against enemies? Especially resistance movements," a woman among the delegation asked.
"I can protect him," Red said through gritted teeth.
"Hmm, perhaps you can. As we've said, it's widely known that you're the stronger, more competent, and more capable leader between the two of you," the delegate said. "I doubt he can protect you quite the same though, if at all."
Purple started, looking a bit stung, but truth be told he wasn't unaware of that fact. He'd known for a while Red was just overall better than he was.
"We rule together," Red said bluntly.
"So you do. Perhaps it would have been best if Tallest Purple had died after all. Alone you might actually get something done. Alone you could rule this planet twice as efficiently," the delegate said.
Red was starting to hiss menacingly in agitation, looking about ready to attack, order an arrest, order a mass assassination, or declare war and make the first move all in one by killing the Parlimentrians they were hosting. Purple had half a mind to let him, but they couldn't afford that now. Opening a second war front in addition to Meekrob would only be bad news. "Red, it's okay," he said in a firmer-than-usual tone that sounded more certain and authoritative. Like he was coming into his element. Red looked over at him warily. "I told you about this tactic, remember?" He looked at their guests. "You're not fooling anyone," he half-taunted. "And for your information, the Irken Empire's been just fine under us. Better than ever in fact. We protect our allies, we destroy our enemies, so really all Parlimentria has to decide is which way they wanna go. Choose war and you're next on the list, choose alliance and you'll be protected. Figure out which one you're gonna pick fast, or we'll pick for you. You want to learn in person what the Irken Empire is capable of, be our guests. It's not gonna end well for you, though. Just ask every other planet who's tried to resist us."
"Except Meekrob," one ominously replied.
"Meekrob, at last check, is falling faster and faster. We've found a weakness. Anything that absorbs energy. They're not going to last another year. What, your data not tell you that?" Red challenged.
"We might not be the most hands-on rulers Irk's ever seen, but we are the most efficient ones, and you're wasting our time now. War or Peace? Go," Purple pushed.
The Parlimentrians exchanged looks before turning back. "Peace," they grumbled.
"Excellent," Purple fiendishly replied, tenting his fingers. "We have our terms of treaty right here." He fumbled around in his robes and pulled out the documentation, sliding it over. Red started. "Don't be so surprised. You never remember papers, so I have to," Purple murmured to him by way of explanation. The Parlimentrians began reading through the treaty offer and began muttering amongst one another.
"Let's hope they have enough brains to realize they're backed into a corner," Red remarked to his twin. Both snickered then put on innocent looks when the Parlimentrians shot them suspicious and sharp glares. The Parlimentrians turned back to the treaties and signed before sliding them over, looking put out. "Oh don't be sore. You made the best choice for yourselves and your planet," Red said, taking it back and tucking it away.
"And you're making the worst for yours, keeping your useless brother ruling at your side," one harshly replied. "You should have let him die."
The next moment he was out the window screaming, and Red looked ready to war. Purple tackled his brother with a shout of alarm then shouted an order to the guards in the room. "Get the delegate back alive! Quick!" Immediately soldiers ran to do so. Purple looked quickly over to the shocked and horrified Parlimentrians. "And thus concludes the demonstration of what happens if you betray us! It was all planned! Everything's under control. It was just a step in the treaty process. To deter, you know, betrayal!"
"Get off of me!" Red furiously screamed.
"Your friend will be meeting you at your ship," Purple said. "Now run, go on, get out, meeting finished!" They got the hint and bolted as fast as they could. They all but threw themselves into their ship and were gone the moment the last of them was on board.
IZ
Only when they'd taken off did Purple let Red go and brace for his wrath. To his surprise, though, with their departure Red's rage seemed to subside. Red quietly got up, dusting himself off looking both annoyed and upset.
"Red?" Purple uncertainly said.
"You aren't the worst choice," Red said firmly. Purple glanced ashamedly down. "You aren't," Red reaffirmed. "Ruling alongside you is the best thing I could have done, and I won't let you die. Ever. We complete each other, Pur. You need to know that. Between us, we have what every solitary ruler of Irk, and even the duel ones, have lacked. Where I'm weak, you're strong. Where I'm strong, you're weak, and that's good because it means we have no weaknesses. None. Nothing the other can't cover. It's why we've been the most successful rulers in this empire's entire history. It's why we've survived. It's why we didn't end up dead at Zim's hands like… like Spork and Miyuki… At least not yet. You aren't the weak link. You're just strong where I'm not. We're both one strong link, okay? You and me. And if one of us falls, the link breaks in two and is pretty well useless at that point. Or best-case scenario not as strong."
Purple sniffed and nodded. "Okay," he replied. Red squeezed his shoulder lightly, then pulled him into a side-hug, albeit an awkward one – Red wasn't big on affection – then left the room silently. Purple trailed behind. "But if one of us falls, the other has to still be strong for him. For both of us. Okay?" Purple said a bit vulnerably. "Even if it's hard to do."
"Okay, Pur, okay, but it won't happen," Red said. Purple stared at the ground. He wasn't so sure…