Rose's POV

"I can show you what my anger can do if you want a demonstration," I challenged. I had just lost against someone who hadn't been out of school for more than a few months, so there was no way in hell I could beat Dimitri in combat. Did I care, though? Not particularly. If I could get in a few good punches, that might be satisfying enough. Hell, even if I couldn't. I'd come here not because I just wanted to fight. I'd come here because I'd wanted to fight him but hadn't been able to find him. How could I turn down this opportunity?

Dimitri quickly shrugged out of his duster and adopted a defensive stance in front of me. "Go right ahead. Let's see it."

"One question before we start," I said as I mirrored his position. He didn't seem particularly angry. More… annoyed. Still, I'd rather be safe than sorry. "What reason do you have to want to fight me right now?"

He cocked an eyebrow. "I don't want to fight you. But I ran into Alberta earlier and she seemed convinced that you're angry with me so let it all out if you must."

"Oh, I was angry this morning," I said as I assessed him, knowing any punch I threw would not hit its mark. "Now, though? Now I'm livid."

I went for his stomach, but he blocked my attack. I'd expected that, though, and tried to land a high kick to his side. Unfortunately, he anticipated that, too.

"This morning?" Dimitri asked. He was barely out of breath and I was already panting. Then again, I had been sparring with the other guardians for quite a while before he had come here. It wouldn't have been a fair match even if I had been in excellent shape. "How come?"

He dodged my next hit, and I let out a frustrated huff. "Because for some reason you think my fight with that novice was my fault."

"I do not think that," he said, sidestepping another attack but refusing to counter.

I realised what he was doing then. He hadn't even tried to go on the offensive at all, and it made me even more furious. He hadn't lied when he said he didn't want to fight me. He'd done this before, back when I had been a student, whenever he'd known I was angry with him. It felt quite condescending that he was doing it again now. "Then why the hell would you punish me for it?"

"We don't get into emotional fights with our students," he reminded me.

That was rich, coming from him. "Oh, well, somebody should have told you that when I was a novice."

"I should have been punished for a lot of things I did to you at that time, Roza, but fighting you wasn't one of them."

I charged him again and, this time, he didn't have a choice but to counter my attack. I managed to dodge, though, and if I'd had the time, I would have been a little proud of myself. "Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, comrade. Not my point. I didn't hurt her."

"It's a matter of principle."

God, I really wished I could land a decent blow on him. As it was, though, he had the upper hand without even breaking a sweat. "What the hell was I supposed to do then? That little brat has been nothing but hostile to me, and then she attacked me. Was I supposed to just let her?"

"Of course not," Dimitri exclaimed, and his exasperation gave me an opening.

I landed a kick to his shin that probably didn't hurt as much as I would have liked. "Then tell me! What did I do wrong? All I did was subdue her – after she tried to break my fucking nose!"

"I'm finding it hard to believe you kept your cool through all of that," he pointed out. "You said it yourself: she's been hostile before."

Wow, so he really didn't believe me. Did he think I was so incapable of being a reasonable person? I had thought we were long past that but, then again, maybe he had never really stopped seeing me as the irresponsible young novice he had met eleven years ago. "You know what, if you won't listen to me, then talk to the other novices. They saw what happened. You seem to talk to everyone but me these days."

"And that's why you're really mad, isn't it?" he asked, dodging another blow.

"Of course! You trusted me once. We trusted each other. That used to mean something."

I tried to hit him again but instead of blocking it, he grabbed my wrist and spun me around. I was pinned against him, my back to his chest, and I knew it was not going to be easy to free myself. Especially since my body seemed to protest at the thought of leaving this position at all. "It's not that I don't trust you, believe me."

"Then what is it?" I asked. I sounded out of breath, and I knew it wasn't just the physical exertion this time. Essentially being in his arms again, even if it was in combat, felt better than I could have imagined. I was tempted to just lean back and stop fighting.

Nevertheless, I struggled against him, trying to escape, but his hold on me was too firm. He wasn't going to let me go, and I allowed myself to hope that he felt the same way about this position as I had just now. Until he spoke. "We've already had this conversation."

"No, we haven't!" I yelled. My renewed anger gave me the strength to break free, which took Dimitri by surprise. It was only a second of distraction, but I didn't need more than that. Just like he had taught me so many years ago, I used his size and weight against him, and had him pinned under me on the floor in a matter of seconds. "The only explanation you've ever given me was that you wanted me safe, and maybe I would have believed that before all of this, but now? You've been nothing but an ass to me, and you clearly don't give a single shit about how I feel. So why should I believe that you care?"

He looked up at me in shock and I wasn't sure if it was because of my words or because he was surprised I had managed to overpower him. Either way, I counted that as a triumph. When he spoke, his voice sounded impossibly quiet in comparison to my shouting. "I could never not care about you."

"Why?" I wanted to believe him so badly, but he had given me no reason to. In these last weeks, we had fought more than anything else. There had been the occasional moment that had reminded me of how things used to be – which, really, only made everything so much worse.

His eyes told me I wouldn't get a straight answer out of him before his words did. "You know why."

Not enough. That wasn't enough. I wanted him to say what I so desperately needed to hear.

He won't. He doesn't feel that way about you anymore.

"No, I don't." I shook my head. "I can't think of a single reason you—"

It was too easy for him to roll us over and invert our positions, but I hadn't expected him to continue our struggle. He hadn't been fighting – not truly – until now, but I saw a barely concealed anger under his stone-faced expression right then. The wall he had so carefully built around himself was finally crumbling. All I wanted was to tear it down.

His voice came low and sounded more like a growl than anything else. "черт возьми, Roza, it's because you were the love of my goddamn life."

"Were?" I asked hesitantly.

Dimitri closed his eyes for a long moment, and I knew it meant he was thinking hard about something. I wasn't sure if that was a good or a bad sign, and it felt like absolute torture not to know. In this very second, he was holding my heart in his hands, and he only needed to squeeze once to make it shatter. I knew I would never be able to put the pieces back together if he did.

The instant he opened his eyes, his mask finally fell away completely. "Are. You are."

His admission stunned me. It was exactly what I'd wanted to hear ever since I had come here, but I had not allowed myself to expect it. My heart filled with glee and I almost felt like I was floating despite being pinned to the ground. I realised I had remained silent for too long when Dimitri broke eye contact.

"Please," he begged quietly. "Say something."

I didn't, though. Instead, I lifted my head and captured his lips in a kiss. It was only meant to be a soft and gentle kiss before I could tell him that – of course! – I loved him still, but Dimitri didn't let me pull away. He hungrily kissed me back as if it was the last time he got to do it, and he might well have thought it could be.

"Dimitri," I whispered when he gave me a split second to breathe. He paused, and I could see the worry in his eyes. My chest tightened at the sight, but I consoled myself with knowing I was going to take it away right now. "I've never stopped loving you, either."