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"So we don't usually meet up on weekdays…" I trailed off.

Yui glanced at me over her milkshake. "Yeah but the last thing you need right now is to be alone."

I nodded my head a little. "I mean I wouldn't be completely alone. Komachi's cat is there."

"How are you holding up with that?"

"The cat keeps looking at me. Like 'where is she? Where is Komachi?' And I don't know how to let it know that she's never coming back."

"And how does that make you feel?"

"I want to fucking drown that cat. In a bag over the river with some rocks inside. It just looks at me."

Yui wrinkled her nose at my crassness. "I'm sure you don't actually want to hurt the poor animal. Right?"

"Right. He's one of the few things I have to remind me of Komachi. That's part of why I want him gone and it's part of why I want him to stay."

"Sounds hard…"

"It hurts. It hurts so bad."

"I want you to meet my parents," Yui confessed. When she saw my face her next words came out in a rush. "When you're ready. When you're strong enough. I want Yukinon to meet them too." She elaborated.

"Oh… I see…" I stammered off. I wasn't sure what to make of that. Yui confessed she was in love with me. Yukinoshita had too, I guess. I was trying not to think about it too much. I was still in so much pain. I wasn't sure what to make of all that. Romance. Two girls.

"Do you love Yukinoshita?" I asked Yui.

"I'm so gay for her I can't stand it," Yui mumbled softly.

"But you also love me?" I pressed. She just nodded.

"I want you both," Yui informed me.

"Gotcha…" I hedged. "I'm not ready yet. Not for that."

"No one expects you to be," Yui agreed. "Take your time and heal."

"How does Yukinoshita feel about all this?" I demanded.

"I know she wants you. She wanted to ask you to the prom," Yui told me.

"I see…" I really didn't. "But she also wants you?"

"I think so. What do you think?" Yui asked me.

"I thought you both were gay for each other…" I confessed.

"We're close at the very least," Yui mumbled. "But we both also want you. I want you involved in the romance of my life."

"Huh… well I make no promises…"

"Take care of me," she pleaded. I looked away from her. "Do you want us?" She asked. I glanced at her again.

"I'm both sexually and romantically attracted to you both, yes," I managed honestly.

"Really? You want to have sex with me?" She hammered me.

"Well, not at the moment. I'm too depressed to really think about it. But I used to look at you and… I used to look at you and…"

"And?" She pressed.

"You looked so tasty," I managed meekly. She reached across the table and took my hand. I squeezed it back. "God but I can't even think about that right now. I'm too sad."

"Well yeah. Komachi meant everything to you," she agreed. I gave her a grateful look. She squeezed my hand again. Her skin felt good against mine. I nearly started crying. I was sure my eyes got wet. "Yukinon and I are here for you. We want to be."

"Thanks," I managed softly. "I want to be strong enough to meet your parents. I want to be that for you. And I want to be able to help save Yukinoshita from her family. I want that. But for now… for now I'm hurt and I need to act like it."

"No one will judge you for crying…"

"I'd love to cry. I physically cannot," I managed openly.

"Is it your meds?"

"Maybe but unlikely. I cried when you and Yukinoshita helped me in the club room. I can cry sometimes so I know it's not impossible. It's just difficult."

"Okay," she nodded at me. I shot her a second grateful look. She noticed and cocked her head at me adorably. "What?" She asked gently.

"Nothing. It's nothing. It's just… it's just that you're looking after me in your own way and I don't know what more I could ask of you. I'm very grateful."

"Yukinon would do it too…"

"I suppose I should see her too," I agreed. "Tomorrow at school first thing. But that's my point. Both of you are looking after me in your own time and in your own way."

"We love you," she said gently with a small smile.

"I'm starting to believe it," I nodded. "God but I'm so fucked up. Right now I'm so fucked up. I want… I want my fucking sister back. I miss her more each day. I'm never going to get over this."

"It's okay. Nobody expects you to be. Over it, I mean. Your sister died in your arms. Nobody ever really gets over something like that."

I flinched at the rush of memories. Looking Komachi in the eye as the light faded and I tried to breathe for her. I tried to beat her heart for her. I failed. She died. Now all I had was that ugly old cat. Fuck that cat. She beat my heart for me. Once upon a time. I did so much with her at my heart. I changed so much. Now without her my life was empty and dead. Lifeless. Even with all of Yui and Yukinoshita's support. And I doubt they'd be offended by my saying so. My little sister had been my whole world. She was my baby sister even if she was fourteen. She was a baby. She never got to grow up and get a husband and move on from my life. I never got to see her stable and well off. I would literally kill to bring her back and give her that chance at life. Literally.

But I couldn't even do that.

Yui looked at me sadly and squeezed my hand again. I sighed heavily.

"Yui I…"

"Yes?" She wondered.

"Yui…" The breath whistled out of me like I'd been punched in the gut.

"What? What is it?"

"Whatever you think I can do for you I can't," I managed tiredly.

"What do you mean?" She cocked her head at me. Bright red eyes flashing.

"Emotionally speaking. I can't. Do the math. I emotionally can't."

"You already are," she vehemently disagreed.

"But what would our future even look like?" I demanded.

"Well I don't know. I just know I want you in mine."

"Emotionally I'm stunted. Mentally I'm handicapped," I brutalized her. She flinched back slightly.

"I know you have your weaknesses but…"

"Think about it. Just think about it. That's all. Don't invest poorly. You bought high. You're selling low. I will never get over my sister's death. Never. There isn't enough time in the universe for me to," I managed bitterly. "You need someone who can do things for you. Emotionally speaking. Things I can't."

"Hikki you're enough. You are. You feel deeply."

I felt my face twist into something resentful, bitter, and very sad. I watched her flinch away from me. Like I struck her brutally.

"Hikki what is it?"

I said nothing.

"What? What is it?" She pleaded.

"I've already said it," I managed angrily. "You already know. I'm not capable of emotionally satisfying you. Neither you nor Yukinoshita. I'm too… warped. I'm too doomed. I'm too tired. I'm broken. At my core I'm a broken human being. This thing I've built up. As a student. As a friend. As a member of society. It's like Jenga. Where's the wobbly piece all this is stacked on top of? You know it's there even if you can't see it. I was broken before my sister died. Now I'm way too fucked. Good God above. I shouldn't even be looking at you. What a mess."

"Hikki…" she stammered off. "Hikki it isn't like that. You can look at me. You can look at me as much as you want, however you want. You have my permission. I love you. You're not too broken. At least I don't think you are. You emotionally satisfy me already. I don't know what my future looks like. I'm not sure. But I want you in it. I know that much."

I looked her in the eyes. I saw how emotional and empathetic she was. I wondered if I could feel a tenth of it.

"Yui I'm not going to make it," I dropped the truth on her. Her lip quivered. "I'm not."

"Hikki you can! You were getting better."

"With Komachi's help," I pointed out.

"And mine and Yukinon's. Don't you think?"

"Not as much. I needed her to stand a chance. Now without her…" I let that thought hang.

"Don't think like that."

"I wanna go be with Komachi."

"Hikki, there are things in this world worth fighting for."

"Like you?" I spät venomously. I regretted it as soon as I said it. Her lip quivered again. "Sorry. Yui. Sorry."

She nodded minutely. "What about Yukinon and me? You said you want us. Now's the time to prove it. You have to fight. You have to bite down and not let go."

"I have no fight left in me," I protested. "I can't. I'm too weak. My baby sister was the only thing holding me together. I'm just a mess of strings without her. I don't even have my sanity."

"Fight for us. I know you can. And it's selfish and cruel of us but we want you. Maybe if we were merciful we'd let you go be with Komachi. But we don't want that. Fight Hikki. You can do this. I know you can. Fight for your sanity and against your grief. I believe in you. I love you."

"Believe in me less. Please break my heart," I begged.

"No," she whispered back. "I'll take good care of it. Don't worry."

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-WG