What is (True) Strength?

After the other day's debacle, Bell, Lily and I decided to take a short break from the dungeon after that near death experience. However, we still had some business related to it. That business was the reason why the three of us sat in the Hostess of Fertility at a small website at the edge of the restaurant. "Congratulations, Little Rookie." I said as I raised my jug of juice in the air. After the fight, Bell had been qualified to level up. In only a month and a half. Breaking the record that Aiz had previously held. I... Swallowing my jealousy, I drank from my drink. "Little Rookie's a shit name though."

"I know... it's super underwhelming." My friend's face was stuck to the table in a combination of embarrassment and shame. With his level up, Bell had gained the alias of Little rookie. It seems like whenever an adventurer impresses the gods they hold a meeting and decide the alias that they'd give. "Lily, what do you think about it?" Now why would you ask Lily? You know she's just going to use it to shit on you.

The small girl was sitting next to me so of course I'd notice the smug grin she had on. "I think it fits you perfectly! I can't think of another name to show just how lame you are!" Her response somehow made his face sink further into the table. I knew it. But, seeing her face fill with glee from Bell's reaction made it hard to reprimand her. "But, are you sure it's okay to celebrate this, Viole? I mean..."

"It's fine." Taking another sip of my drink, I realized I actually was. Sure, Bell is stronger than me. But. he's a good guy. Besides, Just because he is strong doesn't mean that I can't catch up to him. I did awaken a new spell on that day too, so I can't be that far behind. "We're here to celebrate Bell. Not cry over spilled milk."

The sound of two individuals coming up made Bell spring up. Two maids, who I recognized to be Syr and Ryuu, came to our table with a tray of food and drinks. Drinks we hadn't ordered. "Evening!" The blue haired maid said with a smile. "And I happen to think that name is cute, Bell! It's perfect for a person like you." After they placed the tray on the table and handed the items out. Syr and Ryuu took a seat like it was the most normal thing in the world. Syr sat next to Bell while Ryuu took a seat next to me. Great.

"Aren't you two on the clock? Bit rude to ignore the rest of your customers." Lily said with a bit of an attitude. She was looking between Ryu and Syr, narrowing her eyes as she did.

"Mama said that you three can order whatever you want and that we should sit with you. She most likely wants you all to spend more money." For once, I liked Ryu's matter of fact tone. At least she's being honest. I can respect her for that. Gazing at the extra drink they had brought me, I was relieved to see that it wasn't alcohol. Even after all that had happened, I'm still not able to handle such a drink. A part of me was relieved that a sickly part of my constitution remained. A part of me from back then is still alive.

The pallum on the other hand took Ryuu's words with a smile. "Well, as long as Bell is paying! I always wanted to try this place's pizza."

"Wha?! Ugh, fine. But just this once!" I could see Bell do the math in his head as he took in Lily's declaration before sighing in defeat. "...a small one please."

"Nope~"

Everyone at the table, sans myself, had a light chuckle at Bell's depressed face. After a moment of calm, Syr wrapped her arm around the Rookie. "So, Bell. You three are going to start going into the middle floors, right?"

"Hm? Yeah." It was interesting to see just how little Syr's obvious affection didn't bother the kid. He'd have a heart attack if Aiz even looked at him, but this objectively cute girl? Nothing? Well, at least he knows what he wants. "We've already mastered the early floors so it only makes sense. Besides, we'll be fine with Viole leading us!"

"Leading who?" Leaning back into my seat, I was left a bit confused when my two friends turned to me. "I'm not qualified to lead anyone. If anything, I think you should lead our party." I'm an incompetent, weak brat who almost got us all killed the other day. Bell has better instincts and has the strength to protect us if anything goes wrong. I don't deserve to be looked up to with any reverence. Even if it is something as small as being a leader. Besides, I'll eventually have to leave anyway.

A strained silence overcame the table for some reason. I couldn't understand why Bell and Lily looked at me like that, as if they were sucking on a lemon. "Viole, you know that's not true." In a serious tone, the Rookie attempted to rebuke me. "If it wasn't for you, a lot of worse things would have happened. You're strong so..." Trailing off, he cringed and closed his eyes. "Don't beat yourself up, please."

I wasn't. It was simply the truth. I'm sure if I wasn't there, Bell still would have been able to kill that monster. Hell, I probably just got in the way. "Sorry, we're here to celebrate not argue. We can talk about this later." He begrudgingly nodded before sharing a look with Lily. It took a few minutes for the tense atmosphere to disappear and everyone to begin speaking once more. I simply sat and looked on, not wanting to cause any more issues.

As I sipped on my drink, I tried my best to ignore the subtle glances that the elf next to me was sending. I didn't want anything to do with her, but she was making it difficult since she was right there. "What is it?" I whispered. Hoping that it wasn't anything too annoying.

"That was what I meant." Tch, back to this shit, huh? "You're revenge isn't simply a path. You'll drag them down with you if you continue with this attitude. Even if you don't care about your life, that doesn't mean they don't care about it." Her whispers sounded distant. As if she wasn't just talking to me. "If you don't cut them off, you'll only hurt them."

How stupid could she be? There is no need for that when they will eventual- No, that's not right. Bell and Lily aren't the type to abandon me. She's right. I should just ignore them and go on my way. But why does it hurt to think that? They'd only get in the way and I barely know them. It's supposed to be easy. Yet, just thinking about it made me want to yell. I don't want to lose them. Why? "...I'm sorry. But it's for the best. This life-"

"Never ends well." I knew that. But even so. Why? I made a mistake. My priorities have changed. I'm supposed to only have one goal and one goal alone. Avenge everyone. Show that bastard it was a mistake to spare me. Not caring about other people. Standing from my seat, I wordlessly walked into the bathroom and stood in front of the sink. Staring at myself in the mirror, I barely recognized myself. Since when was my hair so long and messy? Since when did I have so many bags under my eyes? "Shut up." Stop worrying about this useless crap. Only think about killing him and gaining strength. Stop. Don't think. Don't think. Don't think! Forcing my eyes shut, I tried to empty my mind. But, that sense of dread never left.

F-Rank

The next morning, after a basically sleepless night, I found myself in Loki's office. Staring down the goddess as she was about to down an entire glass of wine. "Um... can I help you?"

"Put the glass down." Surprisingly, she did as I asked and stood up from the table. I hadn't visited the goddess since the minotaur incident, a bit afraid of seeing my stats. I didn't want to see just how big of a difference Bell and I sat at. But, I had to go past that anyway. "Yes, I'd like to be updated. And... I'd also like to know what I have to do to leave this familia."

"Wh- WHAT?!" The red head almost tripped over nothing when I said that. She practically ran to where I stood and placed her hands on my shoulders. "Why?! Did I do something wrong? Did I drink too much? Did I hit on you too much? Too little?"

Gently, I pulled her hands off of me and sat on the couch. "I simply don't think familia is the best for me. Not to mention I don't get along with my fellow members." I felt a little hypocritical. I never really tried, but why would I? They were all the same after all. Strong bastards who look down on others. The only difference between them and Bete, was at least Bete was honest about it.

"The fuck are you talking about?! I know she's a bit of a tsundere, but Riveria's definitely looking out for you. You know, in the shadows kinda way. And Aiz- oh don't get me started."

"She's just pretending. There's no way someone like her would care about me so easily. We don't even know each other."

My statement was true. So why was Loki looking at me like I said the dumbest thing in the entire world? "You think you're telling the truth..." With a blank expression, she took a seat next to me. "Viole, do you remember ever coming to Orario?"

"What? I have never been here before. What are you..." Putting the pieces together, it now made sense. Well, parts of it at least. The piece of my memory that was gone must have been that. When I came here for some reason and was rescued from something. "Why can't I remember it?"

Loki wrapped her arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer to her. "Wish I could tell you. And sorry, but I'm not going to explain that trip to you either. It wouldn't be right for me to do so." Oh, now she decides to respect boundaries, huh? And what does Aiz... she's' the one who gave me this isn't she? My vague memory of the girl who's scarf I'm wearing is that she's a child. Considering she and I are the same age, it's easy to see why. That girl was strong even as a kid.

My memory was manipulated in some way and it's not hard to figure out who was responsible. And I'm supposed to kill that guy? How? Looking up at the goddess, a strange sense of relief overcame me. Like she was there for me. Maybe because she is. "...Loki, I'm scared." With a simple nod, she squeezed my shoulder. "I don't want to be weak anymore. But I don't want to be strong either. I... I don't want to end up like that bastard. I don't want to turn into an asshole and look down on people."

"Then don't." It's not that fucking simple. Reading my mind, the goddess let out a hearty laugh. "Your daddy never did and that dickhead ended up as strong as a level seven! And guess what that idiot did with that strength. He became a vigilante! Hehe, you shoulda seen how he acted sometimes! Dude really thought no one knew and kept being all smug about it. Seriously, Riviera missed out not making more fun of him for that." Dad and Riviera were close? Well, that wasn't the only wild lore drop she just gave me. A vigilante? That... yeah that sounds exactly like dad.

But there was another thing in there that stuck out to me. "You said he was as strong as a level seven. Not that he was a level seven." Loki flinching showed that she didn't expect me to pick up on that small detail. "He was capped too, wasn't he?"

With a melancholic smile, she spoke. "Yup. Came to me with the same mission. Wanting to murderize Susano'o. Though he came with a more angry tone than you did. Gotta hand it to him! There wasn't a single day for a while where he did say 'I'll kill him!' Oh, especially if he was in the rain and throwing his fist up into the sky." That sounded so far from what my Dad was. So, does that mean that Dad eventually let go of his anger? He stepped off this path? Will I be able to do the same? I don't want revenge, but I need it. I can't let him get away with what he did. But, isn't that what he wants? "It's alright to be confused right now, kid. You went through al ot, through things that no one ever should go through. But, don't forget where you came from, alright? And remember, there are people that care for you. Not just Chibi's kid and the Pallum. But Riviera, Aiz and me too. When they come back, try actually talking to your familia instead of writing them off, okay?"

"...I'll try." Pulling my scarf over my mouth, I felt my cheeks begin to heat up. "So you can act like a goddess. Here I thought you were just a drunk."

Her smile went from ear to ear and she pulled me closer to her. "Hey, don't tell anyone! Can't have every kid come in here expecting me to give them sagely advice. I got shit to do, jokes to make! And yes, drinks to drink."

"You could at least pretend to be like that every once in a while."

"Meh, to much work." An amused huff escaped me as I forced myself out of Loki's grip. Idiot. No wonder Dad talked so much shit about you. "Anyway, take off your clothes. It's time for an update, isn't it?" Don't sound so happy about it. Perverted goddess. But, I did as ordered and turned my back to her. After a moment, the room lit up in a blue hue. Next came a sheet of paper on my back and an order to turn around.

Viole Keres

Level 1*

STR: H 110

End: E 455

Dex: F 301

Agi: F 359

Mag: S 1020

Skill: Nightmare Rage

*a*

Magic: Force Eater

Void Out

"My magic is S..." I'm not as far behind Bell as I thought. I have a chance. I...Was being strong really that important to me? Gods, I really am still just a kid. I got scared over nothing. I really should apologize to Bell and everyone from my familia. Except for Bete. Fuck that guy. Wait, the fuck is that new skill? The memory of that strange voice when I got knocked out came to mind. What was that? "I thought you said I'd only get one skill."

"Yeah... something's off." Well, she's definitely not lying this time. Staring at the paper with me, I could see Loki try to use all ten of her brain cells to figure out what was going on. "Ah well. You're not dead, so it can't be anything bad, right?" I hate her.

"Fine. I'll ignore it for now." Folding the piece of paper, I stood up and walked towards the door. Opening it up, I glanced back the- at my goddess. "Thank you. I'll see you later." With a dumb smile, Loki waved me off.

E-Rank

Looking out towards the horizon, it seemed incredibly beautiful. I was sitting on the edge of Orario's wall, wanting to take in the scenery and attempt to relax. It didn't work as well as I thought it would. Well, it's been a while since I really forced myself to do this. Even that day Loki told me to take a day off I always kept my guard up. I should be able to relax now. After all, Orario's a city filled with some shitty adventurers, no doubt. But knowing that Susano'o can't show up here one day...It's a blessing.

"There you are!" My body involuntarily shivered the moment I was called out to, but thankfully I was able to easily recognize who was the one who startled me. Turning to my side, I watched as Lily walked up to me with a smile. Unlike usual, she didn't have her usual brown cloak on, holding it in her arms. So, her red and white hooded shirt that showed her stomach and a short skirt of the same color and pattern. I was a bit surprised by her fashion sense the first time I saw it, but since she's living with me I see it all the time. "Jeez, Sir Viole. I've been looking for you everywhere!"

I hate it when she occasionally brings the Sir back. Letting that go, I put my hand out to her. "Is there something you need?" A small smile found its way on her face as she took my hand. I easily helped her up to the wall and she sat right next to me. "Sorry, I didn't think to let you know I was going out."

"It's fine, it's fine. I was just a bit worried." What would she be worried about? Swinging her legs over the edge, she joined me in staring at the horizon. Glancing at her, I noticed that she seemed to have something she wanted to say. But wouldn't just get it out. After a moment, she spoke. "I wanted to thank you for the other day."

"Don't."

"Of course you'd say that." She took my curt answer with a smile. "But I'm gonna thank you anyway. Dum~my~" My precious friend leaned into me and pinched my side.

"I'm serious. I said something fucked up. But I'm not going to say sorry. So please, don't thank me."

Lily moved away from me, stared at me blankly before morphing her face into a smug grin. "Thank you." Of course. "Sure, what you said hurt. But, I know you only did it to look out for me. So~ Thank you, Sir Viole. I'll say it a thousand times until you finally accept it."

Ugh, I don't doubt her when she says that. If there's something I've learned about Lily from my time with the real her. It's that she's petty and stubborn. She's a lot like Gretel isn't she? "Fine... then stop with the Sir shit. It makes me feel like I'm my dad." I don't deserve to be compared to him. He's far too good for that.

"Whatever you say." She scooted closer to me and grabbed my right arm. Throwing it over her, she snuggled up closer to me. She's getting way too comfortable. But, I didn't want to say anything and make her mad. "Hm, aren't you happy? Having a cute girl snuggle up to you?"

"I'm hungry."

"Viole! You can't just say you want to eat me up!" Ugh. Her sweet laugh made it hard to stay mad at her however. "...but don't worry about me next time. I know that I'm weak-"

"It's not about being weak or strong. I just wanted to protect you."

"...it's not fair when you say things like that." Whispering something, she pinched my stomach once again. Ow. "Well, it doesn't matter if you're stronger than me either. I'm your supporter and I'll always be here to support you. I can't just run away or rely on you every time we get into trouble. We're partners. Not a parent and child." She and I stayed like that for a while, just staring out into the horizon. Watching the sun slowly fall. "Rely on me more, okay?"

I'll try. Was what I wanted to say. But that's not good enough. Trying won't change anything. I need to do it. Not just try. Otherwise, I'll simply fall down that spiral once again. "Okay. Take care of me, Lily." Looking up to me, she gave me a gentle smile. One that reminded me I wasn't alone. Not anymore at least.

D-Rank

"Pleasure to meetcha! The name's Welf Crozzo and I'm hopin to join your party!" I stared blankly at the red haired man standing before me. Today we've finally decided to re-enter the dungeons and imagine my surprise when Bell made another friend. Welf Crozzo was a tall young man, being a few centimeters taller than me. He wore a black battle kimono and a small blue scarf that sort of reminded me of mine. Though, mine was a bit larger and had more noticeable threads along with some noticeable travel damage.. Why am I comparing our scarves? This isn't a contest. He had a noticeably large sword strapped to his back, though it didn't seem to be as large as a broadsword. "Look, I'm sorry if this is a surprise. But I basically forced Bell here to add me to your group. Hope ya don't mind." I do mind. But, it wasn't my call. So I turned to the newly leveled adventurer.

Flinching under my gaze, he quickly slapped his face to regain his composure. Am I really that intimidating? "I-I know it's a bit out of nowhere, but Welf's a great blacksmith! And he offered to become my personal smith if we let him in. So... what do you guys think?"

The Pallum and I shared a glance and she shrugged her shoulders. "Look. You'd let a snail join our party if it asked nicely enough. Honestly, even a kid could bully you." Clearly unimpressed, she shrugged her shoulders. I'm surprised she isn't flying off the handle given her distrust for the general adventurer. A distrust that I believe is completely valid. "But, I'll go along with it if Viole does." What?

She flashed me a smile completely filled with trust. A smile I don't think I earned, but a smile that I want to protect. So, I looked back at the blacksmith and examined him. He looks strong enough and that last name is familiar. Crozzo... I feel like I've heard it before but it's not ringing any bells. I wanted to say that it didn't matter to me, because Bell was our leader anyway. But, given the serious look on the kids face, he saw it coming and would likely shoot me down if I said it. "You said you're a blacksmith, what do you specialize in?"

"Oh! Uh... I'm sorta finding my passion right now. Ya know? I don't want to rely on my family name, but I plan on making the best things in the world!" So his name is connected to his life as a blacksmith. Hm. "So... is that a yes or a no, Sir Viole?"

"If you keep calling me Sir, it's going to be a no." Did Bell tell him to call me that? Stupid kid. He's lucky I like him or I'd kick him in the shins for that. Tugging at my scarf, I looked Crozzo in the eye. "Fine. Cearly you impressed Bell so I'll accept it for now. But, if you do anything suspicious..."

Instead of being intimidated like I intended, Crozzo let out a hearty laugh before slinging his arm around my shoulders. "HAHAHA! Hell yeah! I think we'll make a good team! Dontcha think?" Whatever. Shrugging him off, I began walking towards the dungeon. He's Bell's friend. I'll work with him for now, but there's no need to be friends with him. Bell and Lily are all I need. As that train of thought went through my head, I groaned, remembering Loki's words. Okay, maybe I'll give him a chance. Noticing someone running to catch up to me, I looked to my right to see Lily by my side.

"Well aren't you nice, Sir Viole~"

"Keep calling me that and I'll take my bed back."

"Oh~ Now you want to sleep with me?" Groaning at her joke, I wondered how I ended up in the position. I wonder if Dad went through something similar? Hell, did Mom? A question I won't know the answer to. But, knowing that my parents worked through harder and more challenging adventures, made things a bit easier to swallow.

AN: Hello everyone. How are you all doing? I've been alright, a bit busy as usual but doing well. Still having a bit of trouble getting out of my rust in writing again but it'll come back eventually. Anyway, hope you all enjoyed this update and look froward to the next one. Unfortunately, no reviews to respond to this update. But thank you for reading!