Saturday, July 2, 2022- 25 weeks

Howard and Bernadette got a decent-sized kiddie pool earlier this summer, leading me to spend many weekends with the girls in their backyard while the kids splash. It's our way of getting some girl time every week, given that our regular girls' nights haven't been very regular in recent months. We normally wouldn't engage in our typical girl talk with the kids so close, but they're distracted by the pool and swing set, buying us some distance from the little ears.

Having been through one birthing class so far, I'm curious to hear my friends' thoughts on their births now that they're a few years removed from the experience. "Looking back, is there anything you wish you would have done differently when you gave birth?"

"No," Bernadette quickly answers. "The worst part with either of them was the stitches I had to get after Michael. His head was huge; still is, just look at it."

Laughing, Penny chimes in with, "I was so grateful for Covid because that meant we couldn't have everyone sitting at the hospital. Not you guys, of course," she gestures toward me and Bernadette, "But it ensured Beverly wouldn't be there, trying to do some experiment on Leonard and Ava the minute she was born."

We're all well aware of Leonard's iffy relationship with his mother. It's better than it used to be, but he still wishes it were better, especially now that Ava is getting older. "Is there anything about the actual experience you wish you'd done differently or would change if you had another baby?"

"Leonard and I have discussed it," Penny leans toward the center of the table, prompting Bernadette and I to follow suit. "We're thinking we'll have a more serious conversation sometime in the next year." Bernadette and I interrupt her thoughts with a squeal. "I wasn't exactly sold on the idea of having a baby when I got pregnant, but now that Ava's here, I love being a mother. Part of me wants her to have a brother or sister, but part of me knows she's growing up with your kids and that will be fine for her."

"I feel similar. I'd love to have a house full of kids, but my doctor has already expressed a few concerns regarding my age, so I'm not sure it would even be possible to have another baby. Even if this is our only baby, I know they won't grow up alone because they'll have your kids."

Penny sighs, "Sitting in the hospital for two days before they decided I needed a C-section is not something I wish to repeat. I wish I'd been able to stay home longer. Let her come on her schedule and not be induced because the doctor thought it would be better. I think he was more worried he was going to miss whatever plans he had that weekend and that's why he was so insistent on inducing me the day after my due date. It was the height of Covid. What could he have possibly had going on that was more important than Ava coming when she was ready?" She must sense my feelings about the topic and brings the focus of the conversation back to me. "Are you starting to get worried about the actual giving birth? You've still got months until your due date. Don't stress over it now."

"Not worried," I shake my head. "We went to our first birthing class this week and it got me thinking about what it's going to be like. I guess I'm thinking about my options and maybe I don't want to do this at the hospital."

Bernadette makes a sound unlike anything I've ever heard before, attracting the attention of the children across the yard. "Sheldon is not going to like this."

I know he's not going to be thrilled about this, but he's been fairly open to new things for the past almost two years since we started trying to have a baby. "He might be okay. He's surprised me with a lot of things since I got pregnant."

Sheldon is still out with the guys when I return home. It's Saturday, so I know he'll be home soon for laundry night. I prepare dinner while I wait for him. Spaghetti with cut-up hot dogs- his favorite. We haven't had it in a few weeks; I'm sure he'll be excited to see it on the table when he gets home.

He enters the front door just as I'm putting the noodles in the boiling water. "Dinner will be ready in ten minutes," I call out before he finds his way to the kitchen.

"Are you making spaghetti with cut-up hot dogs?" He asks from the doorway leading from the dining room. "It smells good."

"I am," I turn to find him leaning against the doorframe. "Do you mind setting the table while I finish up?" He places two plates on the counter next to the stove before retrieving silverware from the drawer beside the refrigerator. I drain the noodles and dish up two servings. With a plate in each hand, I cross the room to the small table where Sheldon is eagerly waiting for his favorite meal.

Sheldon's in a good mood, telling me about his afternoon with the guys and asking about my time with the girls and the kids. We finish eating and he moves to clear the table stating, "You cooked; I'll clean up before starting the laundry."

"Wait," My hand shoots out and my fingers wrap around his wrist. "There's something I want to talk to you about."

He staggers back to the table, slipping into the chair across from me, "Call me intrigued."

"Okay, um," I take a breath. This is suddenly much harder than I thought it'd be. "I've been thinking about the birthing class, specifically when the instructor was talking about how you can make your birth experience your own and no two births are exactly the same." Sheldon's silent, but tilts his head in a way that questions what I'm talking about, prompting me to continue. "I want to do something our friends haven't done. Actually, you're the one who got me thinking about it when were talking in the yard after class."

"What are you talking about?"

I know he isn't going to like what I say, but I blurt out, "I think I want to have a home birth, maybe even a water birth. I don't know yet. I want us to talk about it."

Sheldon's eyes widen at my proposal, replying, "No," barely giving me a chance to finish my thought.

"No? What do you mean no? I want us to at least talk about it. We can talk to my doctor at my appointment next week. He might say that's not a good idea for some reason, but it can't hurt to ask."

"We are not turning our bedroom into an amniotic slip and slide." With that statement, Sheldon stands and rushes from the kitchen, leaving the dishes on the table.

Collecting the dishes and rinsing them before loading the dishwasher, I mutter to myself, "Yeah, that went about as well as I thought it would." I'll give him some space while he does the laundry. Maybe he'll surprise me and come around in the next few days.

As I expected, Sheldon kept his distance from me while he did the laundry. He was on his phone the few times I saw him throughout the evening, probably texting Leonard and saying I'm crazy. I'm exhausted after a long afternoon in the sun with the kids and decide to turn in a little earlier than usual; he's just finishing putting away our now clean clothes. "Are you going to bed already?" he inquires as I change into my pajamas.

"Yes, you can finish what you're doing. I don't mind the light being on."

"Amy," he moves the laundry basket from the bed to the floor and sits next to my legs on the bed. "I'm sorry for shutting you down earlier without hearing you out about why you want to have a home birth."

He reaches his hand out, waiting for me to place mine in his. I give him a small smile as I join hands with him. "Thank you." Before I have the opportunity to ask if he's willing to listen to me, he starts to speak.

"I've done a lot of reading, not just tonight, but over the past two years. I've become very familiar with the many complications that could happen during labor and delivery. What if there's a complication and I lose you or our son because we're here and can't get to the hospital in time?" Okay, he's got a valid concern and honestly, that's not something I'd given much thought to before I brought this up. "I've been doing some research this evening and I think I have an alternative to a home birth that will give you the relaxed experience you want."

I feel myself scrunching up my face, trying to figure out what he could possibly be talking about. "What's that?" I finally ask softly.

"There's a hospital in Burbank that has a birthing center that allows moms to have a more home-like experience. It might require finding a new obstetrician since yours doesn't work there. They work with midwives and doulas, but doctors and medical intervention are right there if the worst-case scenario happens." Leave it to Sheldon to find something I hadn't thought of. "They even have large tubs in all the rooms so you can have a water birth if that's what you want."

"Sheldon," I sigh while shifting to sit next to him and resting my head against his shoulder. "Thank you. And I'm sorry for springing this on you."

"If I've learned anything from this whole process, it's that nothing will go the way I think it will." He softly kisses the top of my head. "I love you. I'll let you go to bed. I need a few minutes, then I'll join you."

The past few weeks have been rough with not much time or motivation for writing. I work in the Girl Scout store, where they can get their uniforms and badges, and we had inventory 2 weeks ago, so it was long days and lots of counting. My mom had eye surgery the day after we were supposed to finish- I actually went into work to finish a few things while she was in surgery. The stress of all of that led to me being completely exhausted for most of the following week. I got the new covid shot on Friday. The covid shots always kick my ass, making me want to do nothing all weekend.

All of this means that I've finished about a chapter & a half in the past 2 weeks when I usually finish 2-3 chapters a week. I'm still a few chapters ahead, but I might skip posting in a few weeks depending on how the next several chapters go for me. I'll add a note if I think I might skip a regular post, but wanted to give everyone a head's up. Thanks for sticking with me and continuing to read!