The sky above her head was now inky black. The moons and the stars of Naboo seemed to have gone into hiding, abandoning her like everyone else in her life. She didn't know for how long she had been running; her legs were killing her but she could not stop. It seemed like life would always be that scene, running in an endless field with evil chasing after her. Her heart could have stopped; she dropped to her knees and gasped loudly. She did not look behind her.
"Wake up," she gasped into the ground. "Please wake up!"
She tried to picture that last moment, her in front of the mirror, finishing her bridal look, waiting to marry the love of her life. That's where she belonged. That's where she truly existed.
I want to go back! Please. I have to go back!
She laid her head on the grass and closed her eyes. There always comes that merciful moment for the tortured mind, in which the body gives up to exhaustion, and the mind can rest at last.
Dreamless sleep sometimes can be the best thing to happen to a person. Padmé woke up still tired, still in pain, but now with a type of comfort. She rolled around, feeling the grass beneath her disappear, replaced by a soft mattress and pillows.
The other side of the bed was empty, but warm.
"Anakin?" she called, and this time she felt in her heart that he would appear.
She got up and started walking around the room. On the ground, she found her wedding dress, all torn and frayed, covered in grass, dirt and mud. Her heart sank in her stomach. She stood in front of the mirror to find again that strange woman she didn't know. Frail looking, exhausted, broken.
"It's not real," she said in a trembling whisper. "It can't be."
She called for her handmaidens. She called for the droids. She called for him again.
"You're alone," the woman in the mirror said. "Why do you keep on pretending? Open your eyes. Accept it already."
It can't be.
She shut her eyes tight. The woman in the mirror disappeared. Instead, she saw only what she wanted. Herself. Senator Padmé Amidala. The former queen of Naboo. Anakin's bride to be. Her gown was new and flawless. Her prospects still promising. He would walk into the room at any moment…
But that moment never came.
A bunch of little insects crept and walked all over her. With a scream, she finally rose to the reality: that black lonely night; the solitude; the lurking evil. She shook the little animals off and finally looked behind her. There was a shadowy figure watching her. It didn't move but it was closer and closer with every passing second. She found herself walking towards it. Her eyes wide open.
What is happening to me…?
"I've lost track of what's real. Am I dreaming?" she asked before the shadowy figure.
"You might call it a nightmare, my dear," the figure said in an old rancid voice.
"It's not real. I'm not here," Padmé insisted. How could it be…?
"Isn't? Well, I'm not here then."
"Chancellor?"
"We need to get my blaster and your lightsaber back," Leia whispered at Luke's ear. "While he's distracted."
"That would be cowardly, Leia. We gave him our word—"
"Oh shut up! Do you think an imperial would honor a promise if it prevented his escape?"
"You know very well no one hates that monster like I do… and I do want to keep him away from my mother… but I have an odd feeling I should wait and see."
"Wait and see! That's how you get killed—"
"Shh! He's coming."
Vader returned to the cockpit looking more like his usual scary self, however, Luke couldn't shake the image of his scarred face and semi normal voice. Luke's desire for vengeance and violence against the Sith had been mellowed. There was a man, a deeply hurt man underneath. A murderer, a liar and traitor. A dangerous monster after his mother. And yet…
"Darth Vader, why do you care so much about my mother? What are we to you?"
"I was the reason she died. I am the cause of all her misery. And you are all that remains of hope for her. I will see that no harm comes again for ANY of you," his voice sounded drained. "Wait while I heal and fix my helmet."
Luke had promised not to try anything. The image of the Sith had faded before his very eyes. How could he attack a sick, weak man in the back? Leia might be more rational in her suggestions of taking over the ship, but something in the young Jedi prevented him. He felt as though the Force itself warned him, and he just had to listen.
Seeing the Sith appear in his usual glory shook that faith, though, the respirator, the mask, that dark voice… and Luke knew he had to get his lightsaber back at all costs.
"You are a fine pilot," The Sith said, towering behind Luke. "We shall meet your mother soon. I suppose… she doesn't know either?" he said, looking at the princess.
"No," Luke said. "And WE will tell her. When the time is right."
"There will never be a proper moment to such a revelation. Better do it immediately. The sooner she learns it the sooner she will accept it."
"If you told me she was my long lost sister I might have been more suspicious," Leia rolled her eyes. "That Nabooian is dead—"
"Be quiet," Vader said. "Your words will come back and haunt you… Leia."
The princess did a double take. Darth Vader obviously had no respect for her, but he had never not addressed her as royalty. She shot him a hateful look and then turned to her friend.
"You do remember who you are, right? Luke Skywalker? The rebel who destroyed the Death Star? And me… the last princess of Alderaan. Do you really think we can enter the Emperor's home planet and leave in peace with that double agent you call your young mother?"
"You have nothing to fear with me leading you," Vader interrupted, and Leia made a disgusted face. Luke sighed. He was already tired of dealing with them. He wondered for a moment how Han and Chewie and Threepio were doing. He remembered there was someone aboard who did not make him want to rip his hair out. He left the Sith flying the ship and directed his sister to a cabin where he had left his most trustworthy friend.
R2-D2 beeped sounds of relief seeing them enter. "Yep, we're still alive," Luke smiled.
"Why didn't you join us in the cockpit, you little coward?" Leia teased. "I'm sure even Threepio would have not let us alone with the Sith."
Artoo beeped, offended.
"Don't listen to her, she's on edge and terrified and she doesn't mean half of what she's been saying."
"Oh Luke, now that we're alone can we speak honestly, please!"
"When have I ever lied to you?"
Leia's face lost all signs of irony and contempt; she stared at Luke in complete earnest.
"I know," she said. "I know you're my brother. That I can believe. I feel it in my heart."
Luke smiled and put a hand on her shoulder.
"It is the Force telling you to trust me. And about our mother…"
"It can't be that woman. If it was… No. It can't be! Oh Luke. You said Darth Vader wanted to kill her. And you thought he kidnapped her last time… But I just know she went with him willingly… I know there's something between them."
Luke shrugged his shoulders, uncomfortable. "Anakin Skywalker was our father—"
"And who killed him? The monster a few steps from us."
"I'm confused too. Don't ask me to give you clarity yet, as I do not have it."
Artoo beeped something low enough to not be heard.
Brother and sister looked at each other in silence of a moment, as an identical type of pain hit them in the stomach. An awful feeling that something bad would soon happen. Yet neither could truly guess what it was.
Without a warning, they felt the ship descend and land at last. The bad feeling grew. Artoo followed Luke and Leia as they walked back into the cockpit to find Darth Vader. The Sith walked as if he didn't really see the twins and droid and simply directed them to follow him.
"First, I want my lightsaber back," Luke said. "And Leia's blaster."
The Sith gave them their weapons without a word. Luke sensed conflict within him, as well.
Vader landed the ship in the middle of a Nabooian field, he walked outside as if there was a voice calling for him, directing him and showing him the way to what he looked for.
They stopped before a very pretty lake, although they could barely see it in the pitch-black night. The cloudy sky was barely starting to move around to make room for the sunrise.
"Padmé," Vader whispered in the strangest voice. He ran into the lake in a panic and came out with the cloak Padmé had been wearing the last time they saw her.
"You don't think—"
"Luke, your mother is too rational to hurt herself. She must have left this behind to make sure I don't find her."
"Well, let's honor her wishes and leave her alone," Leia said, but there was a note of worry in her voice.
"I don't like this," Luke said. "Where could she be?"
"Perhaps," Vader dropped the cloak and let it fall back into the water, "Varykino Island."
"Why? What's that?"
"She lived there during the Clone Wars."
Artoo beeped in agreement. The Sith didn't turn to the droid, he in fact turned his back to not face him.
"Should we go there?" Luke muttered. He wasn't so sure that it was a good idea, but he blamed that awful feeling from before and followed the Sith, Leia and Artoo unsurely following them, too.
Author's Note: If I named the chapters in this story, this one would probably be called DENIAL. I hope you enjoy the new chapter. I love this story and I hope to write more without letting so much time between updates.
Also, I wanted to address the reviewers saying that Padmé is too out of character here. I know that her main qualities are that she's strong, brave, and smart, however, I think it's important to remember that towards the end of her story she lost the will to live (a controversial moment in Star Wars, but I accept it). Watching the world around you fall apart, everything you believe in disappear, and have the one person you love the most be the main cause for it, without any time to truly process any of that... is enough to destroy even the strongest characters… and she's really going through a lot in my story as well, so yeah.